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(Fork)   Bad Valentine's Day love poem thread. Come do your worst. Roses are red   (fork.com) divider line 508
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2167 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Feb 2014 at 11:33 AM (41 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



508 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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2014-02-14 12:06:27 PM  
Roses are too expensive
And they die too soon to.
I'd rather buy you lingerie
and model it for you.
 
2014-02-14 12:07:33 PM  

generalDisdain: Roses are red
You creeps make me shiver
I'm gonna dive deep
Down in poon river


This is the funniest thing I've seen since the Butthurt flavored Lays potato chips.

Bravo sir!
 
2014-02-14 12:07:57 PM  
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I have asperger's,
So goodbye.
 
2014-02-14 12:08:51 PM  
Grasses are green
Like the color of money
I'm voting up my own poems
Coz nobody else thinks they're funny.

:-/
 
2014-02-14 12:09:16 PM  

shrthrdude: megarian: shrthrdude: There once was a girl named meg
They guys, they started to beg
She made them all wait
They were starting to hate
Her ass, they all wanted to peg

Wait wait wait

I thought I was doing the pegging.

I once thought I was witty
I tried this little meg ditty
I found I was wrong
She was using the dong
And now it smells quite shiatty


heheheheheheeeee
 
2014-02-14 12:09:56 PM  

Chris Ween: Roses are too expensive
And they die too soon to.
I'd rather buy you lingerie
and model it for you.


Roses are red
They give girls great bliss
I can honestly say
I can fap to this
 
2014-02-14 12:10:46 PM  
I made you a cake
and I made you a sweater
and I made you a cage
and a mask made of leather.
 
2014-02-14 12:10:49 PM  
I was once struck by love's dart
It changed me in ways I can't chart

That bastard's arrow
struck straight to the marrow

And pinned me so she could stomp my heart
 
2014-02-14 12:11:05 PM  
Anus b red
Bruises r blue
Can I stick
The Ol' Avenger
In u
 
2014-02-14 12:11:32 PM  
Roses are red
And so is this blister
It might be from your mom
Or maybe your sister
 
2014-02-14 12:12:04 PM  
There are answers in the bible
and answers in the stars
me, I'm just looking for a slut
for that I look to bars.
 
2014-02-14 12:12:08 PM  
Yesterday's gone
Tomorrow's too late
Today I'm ready
Its time to mate.
 
2014-02-14 12:12:16 PM  
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
ya got big tits,
I wanna suck on 'em too!

/Pondo Sinatra rules.
 
2014-02-14 12:12:16 PM  
Roses are Red
Your Heart is black
I was only with you
Because I liked the way you drained my ball sack
 
2014-02-14 12:12:32 PM  
I don't have it handy for scanning, but when I was in high school an office aide delivered a hand-drawn copy of a Grateful Dead skeleton with a rebus spelling out "I love you Max."

Everyone in my German class went "AWWW."


/ truly was a lucky guy.
 
2014-02-14 12:12:33 PM  
Roses are Red
Grass is Greenest
when I think of you
I touch my penis
 
2014-02-14 12:12:41 PM  
Roses are red
Violets are blue
For an extra 20
Can I stick it where you poo
 
2014-02-14 12:12:45 PM  
Psychiatry is fake,
medications are off the menu.
But your money I will take,
as I praise the great Xenu.
 
2014-02-14 12:13:27 PM  
Roses are red,
Violets are purple
Come over here,
I'll give you a nurple
 
2014-02-14 12:13:33 PM  
O! Perjuddigously, my application for the mating season burbles in peat.

Though four months remain, its crust fertobbles.

For it has been filled out in triplicate. In triplicate. In triplicate.

In triplicate. In triplicate.
 
2014-02-14 12:13:39 PM  
Roses are red
Violets are blue
You jill off on Tinychat
I like to watch when you do
 
2014-02-14 12:13:51 PM  
Roses are red
Brown is my palm
I went elbow deep
In the ass of your mom
 
2014-02-14 12:14:18 PM  
Our safe word in a love poem
mumbled through this gag
my heart is in your hand my love
though my dick is in this cage
 
2014-02-14 12:15:02 PM  
Roses are Red
Violets are Blue
O Solo mio on V-Day is no need to pout
If you can't seem to hold it just rub one out
 
2014-02-14 12:15:09 PM  
Oh freddled gruntbuggly,
Thy micturations are to me
As plurdled gabbleblotchits on a lurgid bee.
Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes,
And hooptiously drangle me with crinkly bindlewurdles,
Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts
With my blurglecruncheon, see if I don't!
 
2014-02-14 12:15:35 PM  
Roses are red
I want to pee in your butt
 
2014-02-14 12:16:16 PM  

CatherineM: Porous Horace: CatherineM
I sniff at the hem
Of your ocelot-blue miniskirt

Oh, CatherineM
Forget about them
I like when you cum you go *snert*

hahaha.. wait, were you in my bedroom last night?!


I doubt it - I've got you penned-in for next week
That sweet snerting sound, oh my ear-parts shall seek
There's something about me that glows in the dark
And thanks you for giving to me totalfark.
 
2014-02-14 12:16:17 PM  
We're posting in a thread linked to a fork,
and I'm definitely not doing any work.
Still I have no complaints to bring to light,
since I just got another greenlight.
 
2014-02-14 12:16:39 PM  
Roses are red
Violets are red
Everything's red
Retinal Hemorrhage!
 
2014-02-14 12:17:09 PM  

generalDisdain: Roses are red
Brown is my palm
I went elbow deep
In the ass of your mom


i586.photobucket.com
 
2014-02-14 12:17:34 PM  
This is like a dream
Our love like no other
Please do not scream
You'll wake up your mother
 
2014-02-14 12:18:30 PM  
Safe words and ball gags and hot wax that's dripping
Squelches and squishes and your brand new nip ring

Chemical concotions you probably shouldn't drink
These are a few of my favorite things...
 
2014-02-14 12:19:34 PM  
Quietly we made our love
while in your parents house
though when I went to clean it up
your father saw my dick
 
2014-02-14 12:19:55 PM  
I'll cross the lands and seas
so you can get on your knees
and blow me.
 
2014-02-14 12:19:58 PM  
some crazy farker
sent me to a website of forks
now my mood grows darker
in this room of dorks.
 
2014-02-14 12:20:25 PM  

James!: Quietly we made our love
while in your parents house
though when I went to clean it up
your father saw my dick


Huh. That's oddly specific.
 
2014-02-14 12:20:25 PM  
Roses are silver
Violets are purple
I've really farked myself
 
2014-02-14 12:20:31 PM  
You're such a great gal
Our love it is biatchin'
Now take off your shoes
And get back in the kitchen

/republican valentine
 
2014-02-14 12:20:38 PM  
I was having a really crappy day
til this thread came along and brightened the way
thank you dear farkers for making me laugh
Now, who'd like to join me in this nice bubble bath?
 
2014-02-14 12:21:24 PM  
Roses are red
so is my sack
your cat likes dangly things
 
2014-02-14 12:21:36 PM  
Roses are red
Just like Fark's ire
Eat a bowl of dicks
And die in a fire
 
2014-02-14 12:22:00 PM  
Love is a pair of big 'ol creamy farty boobies,
There, I said it.
 
2014-02-14 12:22:28 PM  
I walked into the bathroom once
while your sister took a shower
And though I should have walked away
I stayed perhaps an hour.
 
2014-02-14 12:25:30 PM  
Sir Cumference the Flatulent:

You have an unnatural talent for this.
 
2014-02-14 12:26:11 PM  
When your brother did come out
your family was quite shocked
I'll admit I did suspect
from the times he sucked my cock
 
2014-02-14 12:27:04 PM  

megarian: James!: Quietly we made our love
while in your parents house
though when I went to clean it up
your father saw my dick

Huh. That's oddly specific.


We've all been there.
 
2014-02-14 12:27:17 PM  

SmackLT: Dammit, nothing rhymes with anal


banal.

your jokes were tired,
lame and banal
so shut the fark up
and give me some anal.

there you go.
 
2014-02-14 12:27:21 PM  
Roses are red
Gold is the honey
My favorite new word
Is the word "cunny"
 
2014-02-14 12:27:32 PM  
Some serious prose pros on Fark today.
 
2014-02-14 12:28:13 PM  
Roses are red
You must admit
The way you write poems
Ain't worth a shiat
 
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