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(Fork)   Bad Valentine's Day love poem thread. Come do your worst. Roses are red   (fork.com ) divider line
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2256 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Feb 2014 at 11:33 AM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



508 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2014-02-14 11:53:17 AM  
Roses are gray
Violets are too
I'm color-blind
And I can't rhyme.
 
2014-02-14 11:53:18 AM  
Rose are red
Chrysanthemums are pink
I just blew my meter
Let's split the check
 
2014-02-14 11:53:38 AM  
Now that we're married
I must get this off my chest
I once slept with your mother
and came on her breasts
 
2014-02-14 11:53:52 AM  
Welcome to Chuck E. Cheese
I hope you have fun.
I just ask that you clean the cum
From the ballpit when you're done.
 
2014-02-14 11:54:31 AM  
Today is great
for finding a date
I swear to you, officer
I didn't know she was eight.
 
2014-02-14 11:54:31 AM  
My favorite jazz bassist was the great Charles Mingus.
Its the only word I could think of that rhymes with pussy eating.
 
2014-02-14 11:54:34 AM  
Single and horny
Tonight I will scour
My local pub
Sprinkling fat girls with flour
 
2014-02-14 11:54:50 AM  
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'm schizophrenic
AND GET THESE DRAGONS OFF OF ME
 
2014-02-14 11:54:52 AM  
Midols are blue
so's your bipolar med
are we gonna fight all day
or will you lie there in bed?
 
2014-02-14 11:54:54 AM  

Al_Ed: CatherineM made an offer
The liters they slack
I guess they don't know
About mattress back

media.tumblr.com
 
2014-02-14 11:54:55 AM  
Roses are red
violets are blue
Why don't you shut your whore mouth
 
2014-02-14 11:55:21 AM  
I once had a love
But I gave my love blisters
Use lubrication
 
2014-02-14 11:55:57 AM  
Optimus Prime is red
Soundwave is blue
I love you almost as much
As I love my Energon Cubes.
 
2014-02-14 11:56:23 AM  
Hey I just farked you
And this is crazy
But there's the kitchen
So sandwich maybe?
 
2014-02-14 11:56:32 AM  
Roses are red, violets are blue.
We make sweet love
And you're my sister too
 
2014-02-14 11:56:34 AM  
CatherineM
I sniff at the hem
Of your ocelot-blue miniskirt

Oh, CatherineM
Forget about them
I like when you cum you go *snert*
 
2014-02-14 11:56:39 AM  
What rhymes with chloroform?
 
2014-02-14 11:56:41 AM  
I'm afraid I don't love you
I think you're quite lousy
Huh, that one glass
sure made me drowsy
 
2014-02-14 11:57:26 AM  
I don't sleep, motherfarker, off that 'gnac and the bourbon
Doing 120 getting head while I'm swerving
(Damn, Natalie, you a crazy chick)
Yo, shut the fark up and suck my dick

I bust in dudes' mouths like gushers motherfarker
Pull up on NBC and smack the shiat outta Jeff Zucker
What you want Natalie? (To drink and fight!)
What you need Natalie? (To fark all night!)

Don't test me when I'm crazy off that airplane glue
Put my foot down your throat 'til your shiat's in my shoe
Leave you screaming, pay for my dry-cleaning
fark your man it's my name that he's screaming!
 
2014-02-14 11:57:36 AM  
I'm looking for love
I know you are too
So let's go to my place
Does this smell like choroform to you?
 
2014-02-14 11:57:37 AM  
Rose are Red
Violets are Blue
I'm going to Gouge Out Your Eyes
And Skull Fark You.
 
2014-02-14 11:57:44 AM  
Roses are red or white
or yellow or orange
nothing rhymes with orange
except that stupid Witchie-poo song
Who cares
 
2014-02-14 11:57:53 AM  
I got your BIE today
So here it is back
With my dick wey
After I gave my pud a whack
 
2014-02-14 11:58:00 AM  
Roses are red
Violets are red
Everything is red
Did you start your period?
 
2014-02-14 11:58:02 AM  
Roses are red
your coochie is blue
Your skin is like leather and I've been banging you to get to Mary too.

www.hotflick.net
 
2014-02-14 11:58:21 AM  
Roses are red
You're hung like an elf
Forever alone
Go f*ck yourself
 
2014-02-14 11:58:23 AM  
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'm drinking at work
No one will npfqoeripfwoejroiwejñcrjj,eq{ñf
 
2014-02-14 11:58:26 AM  
There once was a girl named meg
They guys, they started to beg
She made them all wait
They were starting to hate
Her ass, they all wanted to peg
 
2014-02-14 11:58:48 AM  

Porous Horace: CatherineM
I sniff at the hem
Of your ocelot-blue miniskirt

Oh, CatherineM
Forget about them
I like when you cum you go *snert*


hahaha.. wait, were you in my bedroom last night?!
 
2014-02-14 11:59:12 AM  
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,

Omae Wa Mo, Shindeiru.

media.tumblr.com


/Not mine, can't take credit.
 
2014-02-14 11:59:18 AM  
Our romance died away just as
Our love-making was starting
The very instant you touched my dick
I came and started farting
 
2014-02-14 12:00:02 PM  
Roses are red
Police make me blue
Please move that towel off the rack
So my Camera can see you.
 
2014-02-14 12:00:28 PM  
I love you as deeply as last we kissed
I will love you after I am ashes
And when the mountains are sand
I will love you beyond the passage of the sun
My love for you is my universe
And can never die
 
2014-02-14 12:00:39 PM  

shrthrdude: There once was a girl named meg
They guys, they started to beg
She made them all wait
They were starting to hate
Her ass, they all wanted to peg


Wait wait wait

I thought I was doing the pegging.
 
2014-02-14 12:00:42 PM  
This Valentine's Day is a blast
We should have done this in the past

With chains and clamps
We knock over lamps

And what did you stick in my ass?
 
2014-02-14 12:01:02 PM  
We drank for our love
We drank for our marriage
We drank for our happiness
and drank to keep drinking
then we passed out in our clothes and I puked in the kitchen sink
 
2014-02-14 12:01:06 PM  
I saw this one on a friend's twitter feed.  (I think it's his.  Just saying; I didn't write this.  But I love it.)

Roses are red
violets are blue
I have a gun
get in the van
 
2014-02-14 12:01:19 PM  
Roses are red
I bought them for you
Now suck on my balls
Before they turn blue
 
2014-02-14 12:02:13 PM  
Your love is like a fire
Burning in my groin
Always burning, burning
Burning in my groin

Your love is like a salmon
Swimming around my groin
Always swimming, swimming
Swimming around my groin

Your love is like a firecracker
Exploding near my groin
Always exploding, exploding
Exploding near my groin
 
2014-02-14 12:02:24 PM  

cynicalbastard: "Roses are red,
but flowers are banal,
We used to go out,
And you used to do anal."


Roses are red
Even in the rain
I know what you mean
and I feel your pain

:-/
 
2014-02-14 12:02:32 PM  
Roses are red

Violets are blue.
If I could do it all over again,
I'd do it all over you.

/Didn't read all previous comments
 
2014-02-14 12:02:54 PM  

IAmYourBrainOnDrugs: I saw this one on a friend's twitter feed.  (I think it's his.  Just saying; I didn't write this.  But I love it.)

Roses are red
violets are blue
I have a gun
get in the van


How bout...

Roses are red
And isn't that dandy?
Get in the van
Don't worry, there's candy
 
2014-02-14 12:03:06 PM  
Roses are red, dead flesh is green. When the dead start to rise, you're on my team.
 
2014-02-14 12:03:14 PM  
I may be alone
Watching the screen
But you are always on my mind
And that is fine with me

/Not a funny one this time
 
2014-02-14 12:04:05 PM  
My jokes are bad,
my grammar is worse.
Yet I still get greenlights,
when I submit in verse.
 
2014-02-14 12:04:22 PM  
Thanks CatherineM, sometimes you refresh the page at the right time.
 
2014-02-14 12:04:39 PM  
Rose's are red.
Violet's are blue.
Hyacinth's are big.
and Daisy's are ignored by Onslow, because he's bone-idle.
 
2014-02-14 12:05:11 PM  
Roses are Red, Violets are bluer.
I would go down on you, but you smell like a sewer.
 
2014-02-14 12:06:06 PM  
Roses are red
Violets are violet
Oranges are orange
Guess what color periwinkles are?
 
2014-02-14 12:06:25 PM  

megarian: shrthrdude: There once was a girl named meg
They guys, they started to beg
She made them all wait
They were starting to hate
Her ass, they all wanted to peg

Wait wait wait

I thought I was doing the pegging.


I once thought I was witty
I tried this little meg ditty
I found I was wrong
She was using the dong
And now it smells quite shiatty
 
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