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(Fork)   Bad Valentine's Day love poem thread. Come do your worst. Roses are red   (fork.com) divider line 508
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2154 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Feb 2014 at 11:33 AM (22 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



508 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-02-14 11:40:49 AM
Blood is quite red,
I'm sorry for the violence.
Now please go to sleep,
So I can masturbate in silence.
 
2014-02-14 11:41:02 AM
Love songs on the lute
Are played with a plectrum
Now busy your tongue
By rimming my rectum.
 
2014-02-14 11:41:03 AM

Al_Ed: Roses are red.
F*ck you.


Quick and to the point!  Love it!
 
2014-02-14 11:41:31 AM
happy valentines day,
we're all gonna get laid.
but with people from the internet,
so now we have aids.
 
2014-02-14 11:41:36 AM
Violets are blue
And roses are red,
Get down on your knees
And give me some head.
 
2014-02-14 11:42:42 AM
Just got high speed
And now I have need
For the vomit I spew
after the 2 cups I view
 
2014-02-14 11:42:50 AM
Roses are red
Violets are violet
Seriously, the colour
is named after the goddamn flower
Goddamn.
 
2014-02-14 11:43:04 AM
Cologne by Ralph Lauren
Your shirt by Armani
Help remove the grenade
Stuck in my poonani

/apologies to Ali G
 
2014-02-14 11:43:11 AM
I know that you're sleepy
and have a headache
but do you mind if I fark you
when you're not awake?
 
2014-02-14 11:43:27 AM
I love looking at you
while we're a farkin'
You might be facedown
But I kept the milk carton
 
2014-02-14 11:43:33 AM
How do I love thee?
Let me count the ways.
I love thee so much
that I haven't rolled on you for selling your prescriptions meds for grass
I love thee so much
I have never mentioned your ever widening ass
I love thee so much
that I claim two of you on my federal tax
I love thee so much
Uh...  Three.  Three ways, I guess.
 
2014-02-14 11:43:39 AM
Your roses are red,
My roses are redder,
I submitted this thread earlier,
But my headline was better.
 
2014-02-14 11:43:54 AM
Roses are red
My balls are blue
Please farking do me
Or I'm gonna spew
 
2014-02-14 11:44:13 AM
{insert poem}
 
2014-02-14 11:44:18 AM
You're a dumb b*tch
but I love your tits.
Now hand over dat ass
I'm not here for your wits
 
2014-02-14 11:44:40 AM
Your Facebook status
Leaves me perplexed.
Send me an email
So we can sext.
 
2014-02-14 11:44:49 AM
I got you a dildo,
It's red, white, and blue
Time to see what this country
Can do for you.
 
2014-02-14 11:45:10 AM
Roses are red
Wine is too
Are you feeling sleepy?
Roofies'll do that to you.
 
2014-02-14 11:45:26 AM

KingoftheCheese: I got you a dildo,
It's red, white, and blue
Time to see what this country
Can do for you.


HA!
 
2014-02-14 11:45:31 AM

meat0918: Roses are red, violets are blue.
I have the clap, and now you do too.


SHAKES TINY FIST
 
2014-02-14 11:45:43 AM
I'll sponsor the first three liters that write a poem for me.
 
2014-02-14 11:45:48 AM
"Roses are red,
but flowers are banal,
We used to go out,
And you used to do anal."
 
2014-02-14 11:45:49 AM
Time for lunch. I'm spent.
 
2014-02-14 11:45:49 AM
I post in this thread
with out any guard
because TFD
has gone full retard
 
2014-02-14 11:45:49 AM
This Haiku is so
I come on Valentine's Day
On your face and tits
 
2014-02-14 11:45:54 AM
You got a nice butt
but it could be much cleaner
Lucky for you I'm not picky
about where I stick my wiener
 
2014-02-14 11:46:21 AM
Your mom is a slut
And likes to get plastered
That is the reason
That you are a bastard
 
2014-02-14 11:46:46 AM

meat0918: Roses are red
Violets are purple.
I don't know the rest, but you're mother's a whore


Now we're talkin. Is that a Hi-cooo?
 
2014-02-14 11:46:50 AM
I'm hoping you don't
Put me on a shelf
'Cause you see this dick?
It ain't gonna suck itself.
 
2014-02-14 11:47:29 AM
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I bought you this jewelry
Now you pretty much have to
 
2014-02-14 11:48:16 AM
I love you too much
It's caused quite a fog
Why am I front of a daycare,
Having sex with your dead dog?
 
2014-02-14 11:48:27 AM
I may be single today
but I have to remember
that a blow job from you
was like my dick in a blender
 
2014-02-14 11:48:30 AM
Valentine's Day,
Is for the weak.
I show you my love,
everytime I speak.

They tell me this day,
I must buy you a treat.
Then they jack up the pay,
so f*ck all those creeps.

I'll do nothing special,
for this fake Holiday.
But laugh like a devil,
at those Hallmark see's as prey.

Because in the end,
you know how I feel.
And screw they who pretend,
I must compete to be a beau ideal.
 
2014-02-14 11:48:41 AM
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I can't afford to buy you a valentines
And pay for the kid's oral surgery too.
 
2014-02-14 11:49:13 AM
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I got some gaping tacos
Now lets go vomit on some vatos
 
2014-02-14 11:49:41 AM
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Long after all the sores ease:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one that went by your mom's house,
And that is why I have herpes.
 
2014-02-14 11:49:58 AM
I hate the Jews
The Fuhrer does too
Heil Hitler, Heil Hitler
And I also love you
 
2014-02-14 11:50:06 AM
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
It's really been an exhausting week,
What say we just lay on the sofa and fall asleep watching the Olympics again.
 
2014-02-14 11:50:22 AM
So glad that you're gone
I write you this ballad
You're now all alone
And laughing at salad
 
2014-02-14 11:50:27 AM
Between your ass cheeks
My nose it did meet,
Sweet mother of Christ
WHAT THE F*CK DID YOU EAT?
 
2014-02-14 11:51:11 AM

Bugerz: Roses are red
Violets are blue
I got some gaping tacos
Now lets go vomit on some vatos


I've been waiting for someone to say that to me for YEARS!
 
2014-02-14 11:51:38 AM

CatherineM: I'll sponsor the first three liters that write a poem for me.


Roses are red
CatherineM wears an 8
But I think she's still pretty
Haters gonna hate.
 
2014-02-14 11:51:44 AM

CatherineM: I'll sponsor the first three liters that write a poem for me.


CatherineM solicits online
Certain her generosity
surely will shine

Liters perk up,
they clamor and holler
but you can't expect too much
for only five dollars
 
2014-02-14 11:52:14 AM
My friends they all lied
They said you were good
Your gash is so gaping
I'm gonna need some plywood
 
2014-02-14 11:52:41 AM
CatherineM made an offer
The liters they slack
I guess they don't know
About mattress back
 
2014-02-14 11:52:42 AM

CatherineM: I'll sponsor the first three liters that write a poem for me.


I hope that these flowers
Clutched tight in my fist
Will gain me an entry
In your Power Ranking List
 
2014-02-14 11:52:52 AM
We got abit too excited
To emergency room we go
If we get the x-ray of my anus
WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO?
 
2014-02-14 11:52:59 AM

Zarquon's Flat Tire: CatherineM: I'll sponsor the first three liters that write a poem for me.

CatherineM solicits online
Certain her generosity
surely will shine

Liters perk up,
they clamor and holler
but you can't expect too much
for only five dollars


haha.. so true.
 
2014-02-14 11:53:10 AM
The roses are dead
Your cats are too
Should have gave me head
fark you
 
2014-02-14 11:53:12 AM
 
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