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(Fork)   Bad Valentine's Day love poem thread. Come do your worst. Roses are red   (fork.com ) divider line
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2250 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Feb 2014 at 11:33 AM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



508 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2014-02-14 10:24:58 AM  
roses are red,
daisies are yellow
you're gonna feel pain and humiliation,
right in your peehole.
 
2014-02-14 10:25:11 AM  
Such beauty to look at,
so precious to hold.
Please, lover, do help me
stick it in the right fold.
 
2014-02-14 10:25:19 AM  
I spanked your ass
I pulled your hair
I shot it on your face
I know this is only our first date
But I really need my space
 
2014-02-14 10:25:27 AM  
Cheesy poems? Here's the card I made for my wife this year.

i431.photobucket.com
 
2014-02-14 10:25:31 AM  
Roses are red
You creeps make me shiver
I'm gonna dive deep
Down in poon river
 
MBK [TotalFark]
2014-02-14 10:26:22 AM  
Your hair is brown
and your nipples are pink
Come here girl
Let me put it in your stink
 
2014-02-14 10:26:43 AM  

generalDisdain: Roses are red
You creeps make me shiver
I'm gonna dive deep
Down in poon river


\o/
 
2014-02-14 10:27:12 AM  

KingoftheCheese: Cheesy poems? Here's the card I made for my wife this year.

[i431.photobucket.com image 650x1024]


That's nerdy, cheesy, and sweet all at the same time.

Well done.
 
2014-02-14 10:27:19 AM  
I feel like I should make an ee cummings joke...
 
2014-02-14 10:27:19 AM  
Roses are red,
These poems ring so hollow,
When we get to my car,
Will you spit or will you swallow?
 
2014-02-14 10:27:36 AM  
When I look at you I think of all the times
that you forgot to shut the blinds.
 
MBK [TotalFark]
2014-02-14 10:27:40 AM  

generalDisdain: Roses are red
Black are my Crocs
Please let me smell
Your sweet tampon box


I'm gonna get this tattooed on my forearm
 
2014-02-14 10:28:02 AM  

Adjective Bird Whiskey: My love for you is deep and strong
My devotion as sturdy as the trees
But I would say, if there were any regrets
It'd be all those STDs


When I am in a rut
I like to tell interesting trivia
Like how it can linger in the gut
And reinfect you with chlamydia
 
2014-02-14 10:28:46 AM  
Roses are red,
This conversation is glacial.
Get on your knees,
And I'll give you a facial.
 
2014-02-14 10:28:47 AM  

MBK: Your hair is brown
and your nipples are pink
Come here girl
Let me put it in your stink


Like dis if U cry every time!
 
2014-02-14 10:28:51 AM  
I've something to ask you
And it might seem a bit hokey
While I touch myself
Will you come over and choke me?
 
2014-02-14 10:31:08 AM  

generalDisdain: Down in poon river


Poon river isn't that nice
Though it's quite fertile,
You'll swim across it thrice
Because it's wider than a mile.
 
2014-02-14 10:31:23 AM  
Roses are red,
these feelings are torture,
my love for you,
wont be stopped by a restraining order.
 
2014-02-14 10:31:54 AM  
We made love for hours;
I pled, "darling don't leave me."
But I know you must go now.
Your money's laying on the teevee.
 
2014-02-14 10:32:17 AM  
I'm not much for poems
I hope this goes well
Please put on the lotion
While you're in my well
 
2014-02-14 10:32:51 AM  

Current Resident: KingoftheCheese: Cheesy poems? Here's the card I made for my wife this year.

[i431.photobucket.com image 650x1024]

That's nerdy, cheesy, and sweet all at the same time.

Well done.


Thanks. It was fun to make.
 
2014-02-14 10:33:00 AM  

Spoon over Marin: Roses are red
this thread should go green
Why not?
AHEM, Chris Ween


If you want a Green thread,
For everyone to have read
Hit the button to report
Instead of a random poetic retort
 
2014-02-14 10:33:20 AM  

Al_Ed: I feel like I should make an ee cummings joke...


Roses. roses roses
red red            red
r
   e
       d
redredredred
red roses
(violet.)
 
2014-02-14 10:35:11 AM  

Chris Ween: Spoon over Marin: Roses are red
this thread should go green
Why not?
AHEM, Chris Ween

If you want a Green thread,
For everyone to have read
Hit the button to report
Instead of a random poetic retort


I was making a rhyme
Now don't be a dick
Unless this one time
You're using a schtick
 
2014-02-14 10:36:20 AM  
18 years,
Is a long time to love,
Please come hiking with me,
And I'll give you a shove.
 
2014-02-14 10:36:35 AM  

Spoon over Marin: Chris Ween: Spoon over Marin: Roses are red
this thread should go green
Why not?
AHEM, Chris Ween

If you want a Green thread,
For everyone to have read
Hit the button to report
Instead of a random poetic retort

I was making a rhyme
Now don't be a dick
Unless this one time
You're using a schtick


When in need of a thread
Don't talk to a Mod
Unless the goal is red
Then I'm a god.
 
2014-02-14 10:37:10 AM  
I heard you were pregnant.
When are you due?
Would it be creepy
To request BIE from you?
 
2014-02-14 10:37:48 AM  

megarian: Al_Ed: I feel like I should make an ee cummings joke...

Roses. roses roses
red red            red
r
   e
       d
redredredred
red roses
(violet.)


I, um, am kinda diggin' on you right now for doing that.
 
2014-02-14 10:38:11 AM  
I asked the admins to green this thread
I hope they do it before it's dead.
 
2014-02-14 10:38:22 AM  
So beautiful and sexy,
your love's like no other.
I'm moaning so loudly...
hope we don't wake your mother.
 
2014-02-14 10:38:51 AM  
\o/

Victory!
 
2014-02-14 10:42:43 AM  

Spoon over Marin: I asked the admins to green this thread
I hope they do it before it's dead.


I reported it to them as well
The liters need a fresh vision of hell.


:)
 
2014-02-14 10:43:36 AM  
I have free candy
Just get in the van
I said I had candy
Don't know why you ran
 
2014-02-14 10:45:09 AM  
Your hands were too exciting,
your mouth too wet and warm.
I couldn't hold out any longer...
Sorry about your Girl Scout uniform.
 
2014-02-14 10:45:48 AM  
Roses are red
Titties have sprinkles
I touch myself
while watching you tinkle.
 
MBK [TotalFark]
2014-02-14 10:46:07 AM  
Mods need to learn
That they serve us
Or else we'd go to reddit
and get as big as a bus
 
2014-02-14 10:46:10 AM  
Roses are red
You're a f*ckhead
 
2014-02-14 10:46:33 AM  
Roses are red,
my penis is flaccid.
You better fix that quick
or I'm getting arrested.
 
2014-02-14 10:47:48 AM  
But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?
It is your ass, damn that shiat's fine.
 
2014-02-14 10:47:57 AM  
roses are red,
my car is filled with blow,
i'll bail you out,
and let's go to mexico
 
2014-02-14 10:48:22 AM  
Roses are red,
I just banged your sister.
I couldn't believe how easy
It was to fist her.
 
2014-02-14 10:49:41 AM  
Labia are red
Your balls are blue
You're alone today
Sucks to be you
 
2014-02-14 10:49:42 AM  
Roses are red
You're a stone cold fox
Bend over so I can
Tongue punch your fart box.
 
2014-02-14 10:49:43 AM  
You family is cool,
Especially your uncle Cletus,
They have cornered the market
On having diabeetus.
 
2014-02-14 10:49:43 AM  

YouWinAgainGravity: roses are red,
my car is filled with blow,
i'll bail you out,
and let's go to mexico


O_O

I'm so in.
 
2014-02-14 10:50:23 AM  
I yearned to have you near me,
So impatiently I waited.
You're finally here now, but 'tis for nothing.
I've already masturbated.
 
2014-02-14 10:50:50 AM  
I brought you some flowers
A unicorn made of glass
Now could you let me
Get all up on dat ass.
 
2014-02-14 10:51:47 AM  
Gravy and Meg sittin in a tree
F A R K I N G
 
2014-02-14 10:54:28 AM  
When I think of Gravy
I feel a little funny
Now get on Tinychat
And out of your butt pull a bunny
 
2014-02-14 10:55:00 AM  
Roses are red,
This thread is funny.
I can't wait to be
Balls deep in your cunny.
 
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