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(Fork)   Bad Valentine's Day love poem thread. Come do your worst. Roses are red   (fork.com) divider line 508
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2165 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Feb 2014 at 11:33 AM (32 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



508 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-02-14 10:09:20 AM
NO. STOP IT.
 
2014-02-14 10:09:34 AM
Roses are red, violets are blue.
I have the clap, and now you do too.
 
2014-02-14 10:10:29 AM

skybreaker: NO. STOP IT.


Dedicated to all the Nice Guys out there.
 
2014-02-14 10:10:34 AM
Roses are red
MBK is brown
He's always up for
Getting down.

Spoon over Marin is funny
And not at all crass
Rumor has it
She has a nice ass
 
2014-02-14 10:10:35 AM
Roses are red.
Blood is redder.
Hey, do you like
Eddie Vedder?

Roses are red
Roses are blue
Goddamn GMO
makes flowers confusing too.
 
2014-02-14 10:10:35 AM
Skybreaker is mad
Llamagirl is blue
Gimme some Jim Bean
And you will be too
 
2014-02-14 10:10:40 AM
I loved her 'til morning,
and sighed, as I kissed her,
"it's too bad I'm married
to your biatch of a sister."
 
2014-02-14 10:10:42 AM
Happy Valentines Day
I am NOT subby
I guess you could say
I could still do this all day
 
2014-02-14 10:10:57 AM
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'm sick of this shiat
So fark you
 
2014-02-14 10:11:30 AM
skybreaker is hung
With pretty nice balls
He's always up for it
When duty calls
 
2014-02-14 10:12:26 AM
This haiku is bad.
Valentine's day is now hear.
I misspelled a word.
 
2014-02-14 10:12:54 AM
Ashes to ashes
Dust to dust
If it weren't for you
My dick would rust
 
2014-02-14 10:13:08 AM
Roses are red
Black are my Crocs
Please let me smell
Your sweet tampon box
 
2014-02-14 10:13:30 AM
Roses are red
And so are your lips
Probably because of the psychology of makeup-makers because the lips are used as a symbol of a woman's vagina, which becomes redder, fuller and plumper when aroused and engorged with blood. By painting the lips red, it symbolizes that the woman is aroused and interested in a mate and is using it as a signal to attract attention to that fact.
Something about your nips.
 
2014-02-14 10:13:31 AM
Roses are red,
This thread is sketchy
When I see your face,
I get all wretchy.
 
2014-02-14 10:14:02 AM
Roses are red
Marijuana is green
How 'bout I put
My P in your V?
 
2014-02-14 10:14:06 AM
You leave me so breathless;
you're charming and cute.
I never have loved
a more fine prostitute.
 
MBK [TotalFark]
2014-02-14 10:14:26 AM
Valentine's Day is tonight
And Cat likes to talk smack
Which is kinda funny
Coming from a mattress back
 
2014-02-14 10:14:58 AM
Roses are red,
orchids are black.
Swear to god,
the hooker gave the money back.
 
2014-02-14 10:14:58 AM
Roses are red.
F*ck you.
 
2014-02-14 10:15:35 AM
Roses are red,
violets are blue.
Let's get naked
and f*ck.
 
MBK [TotalFark]
2014-02-14 10:16:11 AM
I've sent so much WIE
that the NSA knows me
So this Valentine's Day
send me some BIE

oh god that is pathetic
 
2014-02-14 10:16:15 AM

MBK: Valentine's Day is tonight
And Cat likes to talk smack
Which is kinda funny
Coming from a mattress back


Mattress back attack
And isn't it so good
She'll give you a smack
And give you some wood.
 
2014-02-14 10:16:34 AM
friends may come
and friends may go
and friends may peter out, you know

but we'll be friends
through thick and thin
peter out..or peter in
 
2014-02-14 10:18:06 AM
Farkers are sexist
Wimmin be shoppin'
I'd appreciate it much
If you'd get my nuts a-poppin
 
2014-02-14 10:18:06 AM
When I said we were through
I didn't mean us
So show me you care
By sucking my penis
 
2014-02-14 10:18:28 AM
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways...

One fine ass.
Two incredible tits.
Three moist holes.

Wait, where are you going?
 
2014-02-14 10:18:37 AM
I think of country matters
When I am with you
Jerk till my dick is in tatters
Because we didn't screw.
 
2014-02-14 10:18:45 AM
Roses are red
Violets are violet
get it right
goddamnit
 
2014-02-14 10:18:57 AM
We made love so sweetly,
for hour after hour.
I think I completely
used five pounds of flour.
 
2014-02-14 10:19:09 AM
The roses are dead,
The violets are too,
I'm not ashamed to tell you,
I wish you were too.

(no it hasnt been a good v-day)
 
MBK [TotalFark]
2014-02-14 10:20:16 AM
oh no, megarian is here
quick hide your rear
she got a new peg
that looks like a wooden leg
 
2014-02-14 10:20:16 AM
Roses are red,
let's take her down a peg,
everyone together now,
"SHUT UP MEG"
 
2014-02-14 10:20:23 AM
Ayn Rand says
that A=A
I think she's a lez
Who like the vajay.
 
2014-02-14 10:20:34 AM
Roses are red
this thread should go green
Why not?
AHEM, Chris Ween
 
2014-02-14 10:20:49 AM
Roses are red
You're a stupid c*nt
 
2014-02-14 10:21:28 AM

the_rev: We made love so sweetly,
for hour after hour.
I think I completely
used five pounds of flour.


Oh my god, that is the funniest thing ever.  I did I spittake.  Kudos.
 
2014-02-14 10:21:37 AM
Shut up meg.
 
2014-02-14 10:21:51 AM

megarian: Roses are red
You're a stupid c*nt


LOL!
 
2014-02-14 10:21:55 AM
Now that I gave in
And we threesome'd with my brother
I assume you're down
For you, me and your mother?
 
2014-02-14 10:22:00 AM

megarian: Roses are red
You're a stupid c*nt


I found purple roses.
They are quite nice.
Apes enjoy grooming,
Can I check you for lice?
 
2014-02-14 10:22:01 AM
Roses are red
So is your poo
If it wasn't for anal
I'd have nothing to do.
 
2014-02-14 10:22:02 AM

JohnnyBravo: the_rev: We made love so sweetly,
for hour after hour.
I think I completely
used five pounds of flour.

Oh my god, that is the funniest thing ever.  I did I spittake.  Kudos.


Thanks...I'm trying!
 
2014-02-14 10:22:05 AM
roses are red,
violets are fair.
oh my god,
C*NTS! C*NTS EVERYWHERE!
 
MBK [TotalFark]
2014-02-14 10:22:09 AM
Girl your ugly
and that's okay
someone out there
will hit it anyway

(not directed at anyone, DON"T HURT ME)
 
2014-02-14 10:22:19 AM

RexTalionis: Ayn Rand says
that A=A
I think she's a lez
Who like the vajay.


Haha that's good.
 
2014-02-14 10:22:46 AM
Roses are red
Your lips are blue
Aw sh*t killed another one
 
2014-02-14 10:23:28 AM
Roses are red
These poems are banal
I'd like to know
If you're down for some anal.

Violets are blue,
Roses are red.
You'd look really good
Tied up in my bed.
 
2014-02-14 10:23:31 AM
Roses are red
Violets are purple.
I don't know the rest, but you're mother's a whore
 
2014-02-14 10:24:34 AM
My love for you is deep and strong
My devotion as sturdy as the trees
But I would say, if there were any regrets
It'd be all those STDs
 
2014-02-14 10:24:58 AM
roses are red,
daisies are yellow
you're gonna feel pain and humiliation,
right in your peehole.
 
2014-02-14 10:25:11 AM
Such beauty to look at,
so precious to hold.
Please, lover, do help me
stick it in the right fold.
 
2014-02-14 10:25:19 AM
I spanked your ass
I pulled your hair
I shot it on your face
I know this is only our first date
But I really need my space
 
2014-02-14 10:25:27 AM
Cheesy poems? Here's the card I made for my wife this year.

i431.photobucket.com
 
2014-02-14 10:25:31 AM
Roses are red
You creeps make me shiver
I'm gonna dive deep
Down in poon river
 
MBK [TotalFark]
2014-02-14 10:26:22 AM
Your hair is brown
and your nipples are pink
Come here girl
Let me put it in your stink
 
2014-02-14 10:26:43 AM

generalDisdain: Roses are red
You creeps make me shiver
I'm gonna dive deep
Down in poon river


\o/
 
2014-02-14 10:27:12 AM

KingoftheCheese: Cheesy poems? Here's the card I made for my wife this year.

[i431.photobucket.com image 650x1024]


That's nerdy, cheesy, and sweet all at the same time.

Well done.
 
2014-02-14 10:27:19 AM
I feel like I should make an ee cummings joke...
 
2014-02-14 10:27:19 AM
Roses are red,
These poems ring so hollow,
When we get to my car,
Will you spit or will you swallow?
 
2014-02-14 10:27:36 AM
When I look at you I think of all the times
that you forgot to shut the blinds.
 
MBK [TotalFark]
2014-02-14 10:27:40 AM

generalDisdain: Roses are red
Black are my Crocs
Please let me smell
Your sweet tampon box


I'm gonna get this tattooed on my forearm
 
2014-02-14 10:28:02 AM

Adjective Bird Whiskey: My love for you is deep and strong
My devotion as sturdy as the trees
But I would say, if there were any regrets
It'd be all those STDs


When I am in a rut
I like to tell interesting trivia
Like how it can linger in the gut
And reinfect you with chlamydia
 
2014-02-14 10:28:46 AM
Roses are red,
This conversation is glacial.
Get on your knees,
And I'll give you a facial.
 
2014-02-14 10:28:47 AM

MBK: Your hair is brown
and your nipples are pink
Come here girl
Let me put it in your stink


Like dis if U cry every time!
 
2014-02-14 10:28:51 AM
I've something to ask you
And it might seem a bit hokey
While I touch myself
Will you come over and choke me?
 
2014-02-14 10:31:08 AM

generalDisdain: Down in poon river


Poon river isn't that nice
Though it's quite fertile,
You'll swim across it thrice
Because it's wider than a mile.
 
2014-02-14 10:31:23 AM
Roses are red,
these feelings are torture,
my love for you,
wont be stopped by a restraining order.
 
2014-02-14 10:31:54 AM
We made love for hours;
I pled, "darling don't leave me."
But I know you must go now.
Your money's laying on the teevee.
 
2014-02-14 10:32:17 AM
I'm not much for poems
I hope this goes well
Please put on the lotion
While you're in my well
 
2014-02-14 10:32:51 AM

Current Resident: KingoftheCheese: Cheesy poems? Here's the card I made for my wife this year.

[i431.photobucket.com image 650x1024]

That's nerdy, cheesy, and sweet all at the same time.

Well done.


Thanks. It was fun to make.
 
2014-02-14 10:33:00 AM

Spoon over Marin: Roses are red
this thread should go green
Why not?
AHEM, Chris Ween


If you want a Green thread,
For everyone to have read
Hit the button to report
Instead of a random poetic retort
 
2014-02-14 10:33:20 AM

Al_Ed: I feel like I should make an ee cummings joke...


Roses. roses roses
red red            red
r
   e
       d
redredredred
red roses
(violet.)
 
2014-02-14 10:35:11 AM

Chris Ween: Spoon over Marin: Roses are red
this thread should go green
Why not?
AHEM, Chris Ween

If you want a Green thread,
For everyone to have read
Hit the button to report
Instead of a random poetic retort


I was making a rhyme
Now don't be a dick
Unless this one time
You're using a schtick
 
2014-02-14 10:36:20 AM
18 years,
Is a long time to love,
Please come hiking with me,
And I'll give you a shove.
 
2014-02-14 10:36:35 AM

Spoon over Marin: Chris Ween: Spoon over Marin: Roses are red
this thread should go green
Why not?
AHEM, Chris Ween

If you want a Green thread,
For everyone to have read
Hit the button to report
Instead of a random poetic retort

I was making a rhyme
Now don't be a dick
Unless this one time
You're using a schtick


When in need of a thread
Don't talk to a Mod
Unless the goal is red
Then I'm a god.
 
2014-02-14 10:37:10 AM
I heard you were pregnant.
When are you due?
Would it be creepy
To request BIE from you?
 
2014-02-14 10:37:48 AM

megarian: Al_Ed: I feel like I should make an ee cummings joke...

Roses. roses roses
red red            red
r
   e
       d
redredredred
red roses
(violet.)


I, um, am kinda diggin' on you right now for doing that.
 
2014-02-14 10:38:11 AM
I asked the admins to green this thread
I hope they do it before it's dead.
 
2014-02-14 10:38:22 AM
So beautiful and sexy,
your love's like no other.
I'm moaning so loudly...
hope we don't wake your mother.
 
2014-02-14 10:38:51 AM
\o/

Victory!
 
2014-02-14 10:42:43 AM

Spoon over Marin: I asked the admins to green this thread
I hope they do it before it's dead.


I reported it to them as well
The liters need a fresh vision of hell.


:)
 
2014-02-14 10:43:36 AM
I have free candy
Just get in the van
I said I had candy
Don't know why you ran
 
2014-02-14 10:45:09 AM
Your hands were too exciting,
your mouth too wet and warm.
I couldn't hold out any longer...
Sorry about your Girl Scout uniform.
 
2014-02-14 10:45:48 AM
Roses are red
Titties have sprinkles
I touch myself
while watching you tinkle.
 
MBK [TotalFark]
2014-02-14 10:46:07 AM
Mods need to learn
That they serve us
Or else we'd go to reddit
and get as big as a bus
 
2014-02-14 10:46:10 AM
Roses are red
You're a f*ckhead
 
2014-02-14 10:46:33 AM
Roses are red,
my penis is flaccid.
You better fix that quick
or I'm getting arrested.
 
2014-02-14 10:47:48 AM
But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?
It is your ass, damn that shiat's fine.
 
2014-02-14 10:47:57 AM
roses are red,
my car is filled with blow,
i'll bail you out,
and let's go to mexico
 
2014-02-14 10:48:22 AM
Roses are red,
I just banged your sister.
I couldn't believe how easy
It was to fist her.
 
2014-02-14 10:49:41 AM
Labia are red
Your balls are blue
You're alone today
Sucks to be you
 
2014-02-14 10:49:42 AM
Roses are red
You're a stone cold fox
Bend over so I can
Tongue punch your fart box.
 
2014-02-14 10:49:43 AM
You family is cool,
Especially your uncle Cletus,
They have cornered the market
On having diabeetus.
 
2014-02-14 10:49:43 AM

YouWinAgainGravity: roses are red,
my car is filled with blow,
i'll bail you out,
and let's go to mexico


O_O

I'm so in.
 
2014-02-14 10:50:23 AM
I yearned to have you near me,
So impatiently I waited.
You're finally here now, but 'tis for nothing.
I've already masturbated.
 
2014-02-14 10:50:50 AM
I brought you some flowers
A unicorn made of glass
Now could you let me
Get all up on dat ass.
 
2014-02-14 10:51:47 AM
Gravy and Meg sittin in a tree
F A R K I N G
 
2014-02-14 10:54:28 AM
When I think of Gravy
I feel a little funny
Now get on Tinychat
And out of your butt pull a bunny
 
2014-02-14 10:55:00 AM
Roses are red,
This thread is funny.
I can't wait to be
Balls deep in your cunny.
 
2014-02-14 10:55:29 AM
I know we broke up
but today I am lonely
How about one last pity fark
at the very least blow me.
 
2014-02-14 10:56:09 AM
Goddamn fark filter is busting up my rhyme scheme.
 
2014-02-14 10:58:31 AM
Roses are red,
I work hard for a reason,
I made a snowman,
Made entirely of semen.
 
2014-02-14 10:58:44 AM
I'll be with you forever,
and not just for a little while.
Pay no mind to those naysayers
who can't see past "pedophile."
 
2014-02-14 11:01:09 AM
Green! Thanks, admins.

\o/
 
2014-02-14 11:01:12 AM
Roses are red
and I'll see you later
because after all
restraining orders are just paper
 
2014-02-14 11:02:30 AM
And now it gone green
And here come the liters
I'm measured in feet
Instead of millimeters

oh, that's not true///
 
2014-02-14 11:03:18 AM
Roses are red
This thread has gone green
I think we all need to thank
Our buddy Chris Ween
 
2014-02-14 11:04:18 AM
Roses are red
Violets are blue
You should go to the doctor
Because so is your poo
 
2014-02-14 11:04:25 AM
www.i-am-bored.com
 
2014-02-14 11:04:32 AM
Roses are red
Violets are blue
You will be with Ron
When I murder you

And I'm not going to lie
Its a sad way to go
When the police chase me
In my Ford Bronco

They will question me once
And I will deny it
They may question me twice
But the bloody glove still will not fit

I got away with murder
You may think I did it
But I'm a free man
So who gives a shiat
 
2014-02-14 11:04:44 AM

KingoftheCheese: Roses are red
This thread has gone green
I think we all need to thank
Our buddy Chris Ween


Oh, KOTC, you put admins to shame
Even though his rhymes suck, you should have thanked James!
 
2014-02-14 11:06:00 AM
I didn't shower
you didn't shave
we'll still have a freaky,
dirty valentines day
 
2014-02-14 11:06:54 AM
I love you.
You love me.
But my wife will get mad,
if you keep sending me BIE.
 
2014-02-14 11:07:05 AM
Roses are red
Your heart is black
Please be mine
Let's go smoke crack
 
2014-02-14 11:07:10 AM
Roses are red
The snow outside is sticking
Which of you TFettes
Wants my special deep dicking?
 
2014-02-14 11:07:30 AM

Spoon over Marin: KingoftheCheese: Roses are red
This thread has gone green
I think we all need to thank
Our buddy Chris Ween

Oh, KOTC, you put admins to shame
Even though his rhymes suck, you should have thanked James!


I didn't do it
I'm not to blame
though seeing this greened
...Oh god, I came.
 
2014-02-14 11:07:41 AM
Your body quivers with excitement;
your skin slides warm, against mine.
But could you please contain your flatus,
at least while we sixty-nine?
 
2014-02-14 11:08:30 AM
This year for V-day,
I received tons of sex tapes
There's only one problem:
They were from Bathia_Mapes
 
2014-02-14 11:09:02 AM
Hey it's Valentines Day
And we're all quite gay
This poem is a failure
Now get in my trailer
 
2014-02-14 11:09:55 AM
I have to admit
The queue has been stupid
at least there's nothing
from clairvoyant cupid.
 
2014-02-14 11:10:01 AM
It's cold in the winter
It's cold in our bed
I still can't wait to get in her
though she's several days dead.
 
2014-02-14 11:10:46 AM
My palms are sweaty
My balls are blue
I'm needing a woman
To make some snu-snu
 
2014-02-14 11:11:15 AM
Roses are red
This thread is green
Cuz subby was sucking
Some modmin's peen
 
2014-02-14 11:11:26 AM

Spoon over Marin: I have to admit
The queue has been stupid
at least there's nothing
from clairvoyant cupid.


Don't give subs ideas
That you'll soon regret
Else the queue will go full urea
And get reset
 
2014-02-14 11:12:51 AM
roses are red,
violets are blue.
spoony is gonna beat,
people who spam the queue.
 
2014-02-14 11:12:52 AM

daRog: Roses are red
This thread is green
Cuz subby was sucking
Some modmin's peen


He said he wasn't culpable
but I still blame ween
 
2014-02-14 11:13:35 AM
Roses are red,
I'll go back to lurking,
It's Valentines Day,
Commence with the jerking.
 
2014-02-14 11:14:20 AM
Has cupid's arrow found it's target?
Is that this aching, deep in my heart?
Ne'er before, have I felt such agony...

...never mind, 'twas just a fart.
 
2014-02-14 11:15:02 AM
I like you a lot
so you won't have to beg me
I'm ready and willing
if you want to peg me
 
2014-02-14 11:15:35 AM
Violets are Blue
My cock is pink
Two in the goo
One in the stink

/Shakespeare has NOTHING ON ME
 
2014-02-14 11:15:46 AM

Roses are Red / Violets are Blue

F*CK YOU F*CK YOU F*CK YOU F*CK YOU F*CK YOU F*CK YOU

F*CK YOU F*CK YOU F*CK YOU F*CK YOU F*CK YOU F*CK YOU

F*CK YOU F*CK YOU F*CK YOU F*CK YOU F*CK YOU F*CK YOU

F*CK YOU F*CK YOU F*CK YOU F*CK YOU F*CK YOU F*CK YOU

F*CK YOU


/motherf*cking eloquent up in this piece
//JUST KIDDING HONEY I LOVE YOU
 
2014-02-14 11:17:42 AM
Roses are red
my penis is blue
this cockring won't come off
JESUS CHRIST JUST PLEASE CALL 911!
 
2014-02-14 11:18:01 AM
This thread for poems went green.
It has multiple jokes about ween.
If you use these thinking you have it made,
You'll never succeed in getting laid.
And go back to the porn you have seen.
 
2014-02-14 11:18:12 AM
Roses are red
Violets are blue
This thread is going green
So a big F*CK YOU
 
2014-02-14 11:18:35 AM
Roses are red
Waffles are blue
I f*cked your mom
And your sister too
 
2014-02-14 11:18:42 AM
It's our special day
so I got you these flowers
In return I expect you
to blow me for two hours
 
2014-02-14 11:21:16 AM
We waited for the holiday
to get all freaky deaky
but things got sort of out of hand
and now my butt hole's leaky.
 
2014-02-14 11:21:53 AM

KingoftheCheese: Roses are red
This thread has gone green
I think we all need to thank
Our buddy Chris Ween


I'm not to blame
So your thanks I can't take,
But just like a TFette's climax
My modesty is all fake
 
2014-02-14 11:23:18 AM
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I love you so much
I'll sleep in the wet spot tonight
 
2014-02-14 11:23:39 AM
Your love has left me aching,
and so deeply infatuated.
But I do regret this burning,
every time I've urinated.
 
2014-02-14 11:23:53 AM

James!: We waited for the holiday
to get all freaky deaky
but things got sort of out of hand
and now my butt hole's leaky.


You have your self to blame
For the uncomfortable nookie
I warned you not to eat
that pack of fat free cookies
 
2014-02-14 11:24:59 AM
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Please will you let me
Anally violate you
(I brought lots of lube)
 
2014-02-14 11:25:06 AM

James!: It's cold in the winter
It's cold in our bed
I still can't wait to get in her
though she's several days dead.


oh god why isn't there voting
 
2014-02-14 11:25:32 AM

Spoon over Marin: James!: We waited for the holiday
to get all freaky deaky
but things got sort of out of hand
and now my butt hole's leaky.

You have your self to blame
For the uncomfortable nookie
I warned you not to eat
that pack of fat free cookies


Indian food
but in the end food
will never end good
butt stuff.
 
2014-02-14 11:26:04 AM
Oh oh Olestra
Make me feel like a molesta
Fat free foods made from you
Leave me leaky and blue
 
2014-02-14 11:26:23 AM
Roses are red,
Don't make a scene
Get on your knees
And deepthroat my peen.
 
2014-02-14 11:26:27 AM
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
you're sleeping in the wet spot tonight,
Zzzzzzz....
 
2014-02-14 11:26:38 AM
Roses are red,
Hearses are black,
You may be dead
But you're still good in the sack.

//I'm so sorry, I'm very wrong in the head today, been up since 5AM.
 
2014-02-14 11:26:43 AM
I first saw you in September
We met in the month of May
And I will always love you
Though you keep trying to run away
 
2014-02-14 11:27:45 AM

Tziva: James!: It's cold in the winter
It's cold in our bed
I still can't wait to get in her
though she's several days dead.

oh god why isn't there voting


When it goes live, voting should be enabled.
 
2014-02-14 11:28:01 AM
Roses are red,
The grass is green.
What the f*ck do you mean
You just turned 16????
 
2014-02-14 11:28:05 AM

Tziva: James!: It's cold in the winter
It's cold in our bed
I still can't wait to get in her
though she's several days dead.

oh god why isn't there voting


Once it's full green
I'll bask in your flattery
each vote is a handjob
and my knob's ready to get splattery
 
2014-02-14 11:28:11 AM
If you died in my arms tonight
I probably wouldn't violate you
 
2014-02-14 11:28:54 AM
Roses are red
Violets are blue
biatch back dat ass up
The one filled with poo
 
2014-02-14 11:29:55 AM
Rashes are red
Bruises are blue
The safeword is Schenectady
And I need a paddling from you
 
2014-02-14 11:30:12 AM
Roses are red,
Your vag I must hunt.
Do me a favor,
And lift up your gunt.
 
2014-02-14 11:30:22 AM
Roses are red
Their stems are green
I'm colorblind
So I don't know what you mean.
 
2014-02-14 11:30:28 AM
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I think I dinged your new car
But don't have any money for you
 
2014-02-14 11:30:59 AM
One look in your eyes
For you my heart falls
Transfixed by your tits
Quite curious about your balls
 
2014-02-14 11:31:29 AM
I saw you in the summer
and in the stormy weather
I watched you as the years turned round
hoping one day to be bound
and spanked while wearing leather.
 
2014-02-14 11:31:52 AM
Dammit, nothing rhymes with anal
 
2014-02-14 11:32:18 AM
Farkers dont see im 100 percent legit
And it aint about all that bullshiate.
Its about farking this biatch and that biatch
But nit the biatch with the 7 day itch
Like that ho, just throwin me the pussy
She says she wants to do it like a doggy
Shes bad, nobody is badder, but shes got more crabs than a seafood platter.

/rip eazy e
 
2014-02-14 11:32:24 AM
Rose are gay.
Violets are gayer.
fark writing poems.
lets listen to Slayer.
 
2014-02-14 11:32:32 AM
Roses are red
I don't mind your gunt
As long as you'll let me
do anal and skip the c*nt
 
2014-02-14 11:33:16 AM
Roses are yellow.
Yes, they are too!
Guess what this means?
Friendzone for you!
 
2014-02-14 11:33:33 AM
Roses are red,
F*cking you is nifty
Could you please give
Me change for a fifty.
 
2014-02-14 11:33:36 AM
Red is the rose
And blue is the sky
Bite the pillow, my darling
I'm going in dry
 
2014-02-14 11:33:39 AM
Woah. It got all gunty up in here.
 
2014-02-14 11:33:58 AM
Roses are red
My love is free
Happy Valentine's Day
Enjoy the WIE
 
2014-02-14 11:35:20 AM
I see you sitting there
Playing with your hair
It always makes me chuckle
When I see your mooseknuckle
 
2014-02-14 11:35:27 AM
Here come the liters
to enjoy your wit
or maybe they'll say
What the f*ck is this sh*t
 
2014-02-14 11:35:30 AM
I adore watching
The curves of your back.
But could you do something
About that stench in your crack?
 
2014-02-14 11:35:38 AM
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I'll fark you with a rake
 
2014-02-14 11:36:04 AM
Stop your b*tching
I'm going to bed
Later on when you snore
Is when I'll get head
 
2014-02-14 11:36:28 AM
I see my love approaching;
my heart races, as she knocks.
She need not try resisting...
Thin Mints cost four bucks a box!
 
2014-02-14 11:36:59 AM

SmackLT: Dammit, nothing rhymes with anal


You're stunning in your pinstripe tweeds
Your heart cries out, and my heart heeds
Your love provides me all my needs
Now bend over; here come some anal beads
 
2014-02-14 11:37:28 AM
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Wait... no, they're violet
Anyways, anal's cool, you in?
 
2014-02-14 11:37:30 AM
Roses are red
Violets are bluish
If it wern't for Christmas
We'd all be Jewish
 
2014-02-14 11:37:39 AM
Carnal apple, Woman filled, burning moon
Ball-gag banana, Man stuck, spasmed poon
ER trip embarrassing, Doctors laughing
Thanks Obama
 
2014-02-14 11:37:40 AM
Roses are red
Poetry's iffy
But at least the dog
Really loves Jiffy
 
2014-02-14 11:37:41 AM
It's Valentine's Day
Let's go have a fun threesome
It burns when I pee

/Nothing says "I love you" like a lurid STD haiku
 
2014-02-14 11:37:58 AM
Roses are red,
violets are blue.
What I got,
came from you.
 
2014-02-14 11:38:14 AM
Roses are red
Violets are blue
If you really loved me in bed
You'll let me stick it where you doo-doo
 
2014-02-14 11:38:17 AM
Elmo is red
Grover is blue
Watch your cartoons
While Daddy deep-dicks you.
 
2014-02-14 11:38:27 AM
Roses are black
Violets are black
Everything's black
I can't see

-Stevie Wonder
 
2014-02-14 11:38:36 AM
Hard as a rock my wedding vows
and diamond hard my penis
as I watch four dark skinned men
bang you mercy-li-less
 
2014-02-14 11:38:46 AM
f.kulfoto.com
 
2014-02-14 11:39:17 AM
I believe brevity is the soul of wit:

Oh, god, you're so hot,
I want to fill you up with dick snot.
 
2014-02-14 11:39:26 AM
Roses are orange
Violets are blue
I do all the movie posters
Coming to a theater near you.
 
2014-02-14 11:39:29 AM
img.fark.net
 
2014-02-14 11:39:31 AM
Rose bengal's red,
Copper is blue.
Get back in the lab
Or I'll fire you.

I love you
Like I love Pluto.
By the way, I
No longer consider you an adult.
 
2014-02-14 11:39:33 AM
roses are red,
presents have bows.
now that it's green,
this thread is dildos.
 
2014-02-14 11:39:55 AM
Violets are cool
Roses are thorny
I can settle for an internet 7
Do me, I'm horny
 
2014-02-14 11:40:01 AM
Roses are red
violets are blue
your sister's not bad
and neither are you
 
2014-02-14 11:40:03 AM
Roses are red
Stegosaurus are too
Tyrannosaur's angry
GRRRAAWWRRR
 
2014-02-14 11:40:14 AM
Happy Valentine's Day!
Here's my turgid member
You know that you owe me
We haven't farked since December
 
2014-02-14 11:40:31 AM
In the polls
I'm takin' a lickin'
But I still have you
So hold still, chicken
 
2014-02-14 11:40:32 AM
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I shiat in the bath tub
And so do you.
 
2014-02-14 11:40:33 AM
Roses are red
Winter is the season
I posted in this thread
For absolutely no reason
 
2014-02-14 11:40:49 AM
Blood is quite red,
I'm sorry for the violence.
Now please go to sleep,
So I can masturbate in silence.
 
2014-02-14 11:41:02 AM
Love songs on the lute
Are played with a plectrum
Now busy your tongue
By rimming my rectum.
 
2014-02-14 11:41:03 AM

Al_Ed: Roses are red.
F*ck you.


Quick and to the point!  Love it!
 
2014-02-14 11:41:31 AM
happy valentines day,
we're all gonna get laid.
but with people from the internet,
so now we have aids.
 
2014-02-14 11:41:36 AM
Violets are blue
And roses are red,
Get down on your knees
And give me some head.
 
2014-02-14 11:42:42 AM
Just got high speed
And now I have need
For the vomit I spew
after the 2 cups I view
 
2014-02-14 11:42:50 AM
Roses are red
Violets are violet
Seriously, the colour
is named after the goddamn flower
Goddamn.
 
2014-02-14 11:43:04 AM
Cologne by Ralph Lauren
Your shirt by Armani
Help remove the grenade
Stuck in my poonani

/apologies to Ali G
 
2014-02-14 11:43:11 AM
I know that you're sleepy
and have a headache
but do you mind if I fark you
when you're not awake?
 
2014-02-14 11:43:27 AM
I love looking at you
while we're a farkin'
You might be facedown
But I kept the milk carton
 
2014-02-14 11:43:33 AM
How do I love thee?
Let me count the ways.
I love thee so much
that I haven't rolled on you for selling your prescriptions meds for grass
I love thee so much
I have never mentioned your ever widening ass
I love thee so much
that I claim two of you on my federal tax
I love thee so much
Uh...  Three.  Three ways, I guess.
 
2014-02-14 11:43:39 AM
Your roses are red,
My roses are redder,
I submitted this thread earlier,
But my headline was better.
 
2014-02-14 11:43:54 AM
Roses are red
My balls are blue
Please farking do me
Or I'm gonna spew
 
2014-02-14 11:44:13 AM
{insert poem}
 
2014-02-14 11:44:18 AM
You're a dumb b*tch
but I love your tits.
Now hand over dat ass
I'm not here for your wits
 
2014-02-14 11:44:40 AM
Your Facebook status
Leaves me perplexed.
Send me an email
So we can sext.
 
2014-02-14 11:44:49 AM
I got you a dildo,
It's red, white, and blue
Time to see what this country
Can do for you.
 
2014-02-14 11:45:10 AM
Roses are red
Wine is too
Are you feeling sleepy?
Roofies'll do that to you.
 
2014-02-14 11:45:26 AM

KingoftheCheese: I got you a dildo,
It's red, white, and blue
Time to see what this country
Can do for you.


HA!
 
2014-02-14 11:45:31 AM

meat0918: Roses are red, violets are blue.
I have the clap, and now you do too.


SHAKES TINY FIST
 
2014-02-14 11:45:43 AM
I'll sponsor the first three liters that write a poem for me.
 
2014-02-14 11:45:48 AM
"Roses are red,
but flowers are banal,
We used to go out,
And you used to do anal."
 
2014-02-14 11:45:49 AM
Time for lunch. I'm spent.
 
2014-02-14 11:45:49 AM
I post in this thread
with out any guard
because TFD
has gone full retard
 
2014-02-14 11:45:49 AM
This Haiku is so
I come on Valentine's Day
On your face and tits
 
2014-02-14 11:45:54 AM
You got a nice butt
but it could be much cleaner
Lucky for you I'm not picky
about where I stick my wiener
 
2014-02-14 11:46:21 AM
Your mom is a slut
And likes to get plastered
That is the reason
That you are a bastard
 
2014-02-14 11:46:46 AM

meat0918: Roses are red
Violets are purple.
I don't know the rest, but you're mother's a whore


Now we're talkin. Is that a Hi-cooo?
 
2014-02-14 11:46:50 AM
I'm hoping you don't
Put me on a shelf
'Cause you see this dick?
It ain't gonna suck itself.
 
2014-02-14 11:47:29 AM
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I bought you this jewelry
Now you pretty much have to
 
2014-02-14 11:48:16 AM
I love you too much
It's caused quite a fog
Why am I front of a daycare,
Having sex with your dead dog?
 
2014-02-14 11:48:27 AM
I may be single today
but I have to remember
that a blow job from you
was like my dick in a blender
 
2014-02-14 11:48:30 AM
Valentine's Day,
Is for the weak.
I show you my love,
everytime I speak.

They tell me this day,
I must buy you a treat.
Then they jack up the pay,
so f*ck all those creeps.

I'll do nothing special,
for this fake Holiday.
But laugh like a devil,
at those Hallmark see's as prey.

Because in the end,
you know how I feel.
And screw they who pretend,
I must compete to be a beau ideal.
 
2014-02-14 11:48:41 AM
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I can't afford to buy you a valentines
And pay for the kid's oral surgery too.
 
2014-02-14 11:49:13 AM
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I got some gaping tacos
Now lets go vomit on some vatos
 
2014-02-14 11:49:41 AM
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Long after all the sores ease:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one that went by your mom's house,
And that is why I have herpes.
 
2014-02-14 11:49:58 AM
I hate the Jews
The Fuhrer does too
Heil Hitler, Heil Hitler
And I also love you
 
2014-02-14 11:50:06 AM
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
It's really been an exhausting week,
What say we just lay on the sofa and fall asleep watching the Olympics again.
 
2014-02-14 11:50:22 AM
So glad that you're gone
I write you this ballad
You're now all alone
And laughing at salad
 
2014-02-14 11:50:27 AM
Between your ass cheeks
My nose it did meet,
Sweet mother of Christ
WHAT THE F*CK DID YOU EAT?
 
2014-02-14 11:51:11 AM

Bugerz: Roses are red
Violets are blue
I got some gaping tacos
Now lets go vomit on some vatos


I've been waiting for someone to say that to me for YEARS!
 
2014-02-14 11:51:38 AM

CatherineM: I'll sponsor the first three liters that write a poem for me.


Roses are red
CatherineM wears an 8
But I think she's still pretty
Haters gonna hate.
 
2014-02-14 11:51:44 AM

CatherineM: I'll sponsor the first three liters that write a poem for me.


CatherineM solicits online
Certain her generosity
surely will shine

Liters perk up,
they clamor and holler
but you can't expect too much
for only five dollars
 
2014-02-14 11:52:14 AM
My friends they all lied
They said you were good
Your gash is so gaping
I'm gonna need some plywood
 
2014-02-14 11:52:41 AM
CatherineM made an offer
The liters they slack
I guess they don't know
About mattress back
 
2014-02-14 11:52:42 AM

CatherineM: I'll sponsor the first three liters that write a poem for me.


I hope that these flowers
Clutched tight in my fist
Will gain me an entry
In your Power Ranking List
 
2014-02-14 11:52:52 AM
We got abit too excited
To emergency room we go
If we get the x-ray of my anus
WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO?
 
2014-02-14 11:52:59 AM

Zarquon's Flat Tire: CatherineM: I'll sponsor the first three liters that write a poem for me.

CatherineM solicits online
Certain her generosity
surely will shine

Liters perk up,
they clamor and holler
but you can't expect too much
for only five dollars


haha.. so true.
 
2014-02-14 11:53:10 AM
The roses are dead
Your cats are too
Should have gave me head
fark you
 
2014-02-14 11:53:12 AM
 
2014-02-14 11:53:17 AM
Roses are gray
Violets are too
I'm color-blind
And I can't rhyme.
 
2014-02-14 11:53:18 AM
Rose are red
Chrysanthemums are pink
I just blew my meter
Let's split the check
 
2014-02-14 11:53:38 AM
Now that we're married
I must get this off my chest
I once slept with your mother
and came on her breasts
 
2014-02-14 11:53:52 AM
Welcome to Chuck E. Cheese
I hope you have fun.
I just ask that you clean the cum
From the ballpit when you're done.
 
2014-02-14 11:54:31 AM
Today is great
for finding a date
I swear to you, officer
I didn't know she was eight.
 
2014-02-14 11:54:31 AM
My favorite jazz bassist was the great Charles Mingus.
Its the only word I could think of that rhymes with pussy eating.
 
2014-02-14 11:54:34 AM
Single and horny
Tonight I will scour
My local pub
Sprinkling fat girls with flour
 
2014-02-14 11:54:50 AM
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'm schizophrenic
AND GET THESE DRAGONS OFF OF ME
 
2014-02-14 11:54:52 AM
Midols are blue
so's your bipolar med
are we gonna fight all day
or will you lie there in bed?
 
2014-02-14 11:54:54 AM

Al_Ed: CatherineM made an offer
The liters they slack
I guess they don't know
About mattress back

media.tumblr.com
 
2014-02-14 11:54:55 AM
Roses are red
violets are blue
Why don't you shut your whore mouth
 
2014-02-14 11:55:21 AM
I once had a love
But I gave my love blisters
Use lubrication
 
2014-02-14 11:55:57 AM
Optimus Prime is red
Soundwave is blue
I love you almost as much
As I love my Energon Cubes.
 
2014-02-14 11:56:23 AM
Hey I just farked you
And this is crazy
But there's the kitchen
So sandwich maybe?
 
2014-02-14 11:56:32 AM
Roses are red, violets are blue.
We make sweet love
And you're my sister too
 
2014-02-14 11:56:34 AM
CatherineM
I sniff at the hem
Of your ocelot-blue miniskirt

Oh, CatherineM
Forget about them
I like when you cum you go *snert*
 
2014-02-14 11:56:39 AM
What rhymes with chloroform?
 
2014-02-14 11:56:41 AM
I'm afraid I don't love you
I think you're quite lousy
Huh, that one glass
sure made me drowsy
 
2014-02-14 11:57:26 AM
I don't sleep, motherfarker, off that 'gnac and the bourbon
Doing 120 getting head while I'm swerving
(Damn, Natalie, you a crazy chick)
Yo, shut the fark up and suck my dick

I bust in dudes' mouths like gushers motherfarker
Pull up on NBC and smack the shiat outta Jeff Zucker
What you want Natalie? (To drink and fight!)
What you need Natalie? (To fark all night!)

Don't test me when I'm crazy off that airplane glue
Put my foot down your throat 'til your shiat's in my shoe
Leave you screaming, pay for my dry-cleaning
fark your man it's my name that he's screaming!
 
2014-02-14 11:57:36 AM
I'm looking for love
I know you are too
So let's go to my place
Does this smell like choroform to you?
 
2014-02-14 11:57:37 AM
Rose are Red
Violets are Blue
I'm going to Gouge Out Your Eyes
And Skull Fark You.
 
2014-02-14 11:57:44 AM
Roses are red or white
or yellow or orange
nothing rhymes with orange
except that stupid Witchie-poo song
Who cares
 
2014-02-14 11:57:53 AM
I got your BIE today
So here it is back
With my dick wey
After I gave my pud a whack
 
2014-02-14 11:58:00 AM
Roses are red
Violets are red
Everything is red
Did you start your period?
 
2014-02-14 11:58:02 AM
Roses are red
your coochie is blue
Your skin is like leather and I've been banging you to get to Mary too.

www.hotflick.net
 
2014-02-14 11:58:21 AM
Roses are red
You're hung like an elf
Forever alone
Go f*ck yourself
 
2014-02-14 11:58:23 AM
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'm drinking at work
No one will npfqoeripfwoejroiwejñcrjj,eq{ñf
 
2014-02-14 11:58:26 AM
There once was a girl named meg
They guys, they started to beg
She made them all wait
They were starting to hate
Her ass, they all wanted to peg
 
2014-02-14 11:58:48 AM

Porous Horace: CatherineM
I sniff at the hem
Of your ocelot-blue miniskirt

Oh, CatherineM
Forget about them
I like when you cum you go *snert*


hahaha.. wait, were you in my bedroom last night?!
 
2014-02-14 11:59:12 AM
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,

Omae Wa Mo, Shindeiru.

media.tumblr.com


/Not mine, can't take credit.
 
2014-02-14 11:59:18 AM
Our romance died away just as
Our love-making was starting
The very instant you touched my dick
I came and started farting
 
2014-02-14 12:00:02 PM
Roses are red
Police make me blue
Please move that towel off the rack
So my Camera can see you.
 
2014-02-14 12:00:28 PM
I love you as deeply as last we kissed
I will love you after I am ashes
And when the mountains are sand
I will love you beyond the passage of the sun
My love for you is my universe
And can never die
 
2014-02-14 12:00:39 PM

shrthrdude: There once was a girl named meg
They guys, they started to beg
She made them all wait
They were starting to hate
Her ass, they all wanted to peg


Wait wait wait

I thought I was doing the pegging.
 
2014-02-14 12:00:42 PM
This Valentine's Day is a blast
We should have done this in the past

With chains and clamps
We knock over lamps

And what did you stick in my ass?
 
2014-02-14 12:01:02 PM
We drank for our love
We drank for our marriage
We drank for our happiness
and drank to keep drinking
then we passed out in our clothes and I puked in the kitchen sink
 
2014-02-14 12:01:06 PM
I saw this one on a friend's twitter feed.  (I think it's his.  Just saying; I didn't write this.  But I love it.)

Roses are red
violets are blue
I have a gun
get in the van
 
2014-02-14 12:01:19 PM
Roses are red
I bought them for you
Now suck on my balls
Before they turn blue
 
2014-02-14 12:02:13 PM
Your love is like a fire
Burning in my groin
Always burning, burning
Burning in my groin

Your love is like a salmon
Swimming around my groin
Always swimming, swimming
Swimming around my groin

Your love is like a firecracker
Exploding near my groin
Always exploding, exploding
Exploding near my groin
 
2014-02-14 12:02:24 PM

cynicalbastard: "Roses are red,
but flowers are banal,
We used to go out,
And you used to do anal."


Roses are red
Even in the rain
I know what you mean
and I feel your pain

:-/
 
2014-02-14 12:02:32 PM
Roses are red

Violets are blue.
If I could do it all over again,
I'd do it all over you.

/Didn't read all previous comments
 
2014-02-14 12:02:54 PM

IAmYourBrainOnDrugs: I saw this one on a friend's twitter feed.  (I think it's his.  Just saying; I didn't write this.  But I love it.)

Roses are red
violets are blue
I have a gun
get in the van


How bout...

Roses are red
And isn't that dandy?
Get in the van
Don't worry, there's candy
 
2014-02-14 12:03:06 PM
Roses are red, dead flesh is green. When the dead start to rise, you're on my team.
 
2014-02-14 12:03:14 PM
I may be alone
Watching the screen
But you are always on my mind
And that is fine with me

/Not a funny one this time
 
2014-02-14 12:04:05 PM
My jokes are bad,
my grammar is worse.
Yet I still get greenlights,
when I submit in verse.
 
2014-02-14 12:04:22 PM
Thanks CatherineM, sometimes you refresh the page at the right time.
 
2014-02-14 12:04:39 PM
Rose's are red.
Violet's are blue.
Hyacinth's are big.
and Daisy's are ignored by Onslow, because he's bone-idle.
 
2014-02-14 12:05:11 PM
Roses are Red, Violets are bluer.
I would go down on you, but you smell like a sewer.
 
2014-02-14 12:06:06 PM
Roses are red
Violets are violet
Oranges are orange
Guess what color periwinkles are?
 
2014-02-14 12:06:25 PM

megarian: shrthrdude: There once was a girl named meg
They guys, they started to beg
She made them all wait
They were starting to hate
Her ass, they all wanted to peg

Wait wait wait

I thought I was doing the pegging.


I once thought I was witty
I tried this little meg ditty
I found I was wrong
She was using the dong
And now it smells quite shiatty
 
2014-02-14 12:06:27 PM
Roses are too expensive
And they die too soon to.
I'd rather buy you lingerie
and model it for you.
 
2014-02-14 12:07:33 PM

generalDisdain: Roses are red
You creeps make me shiver
I'm gonna dive deep
Down in poon river


This is the funniest thing I've seen since the Butthurt flavored Lays potato chips.

Bravo sir!
 
2014-02-14 12:07:57 PM
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I have asperger's,
So goodbye.
 
2014-02-14 12:08:51 PM
Grasses are green
Like the color of money
I'm voting up my own poems
Coz nobody else thinks they're funny.

:-/
 
2014-02-14 12:09:16 PM

shrthrdude: megarian: shrthrdude: There once was a girl named meg
They guys, they started to beg
She made them all wait
They were starting to hate
Her ass, they all wanted to peg

Wait wait wait

I thought I was doing the pegging.

I once thought I was witty
I tried this little meg ditty
I found I was wrong
She was using the dong
And now it smells quite shiatty


heheheheheheeeee
 
2014-02-14 12:09:56 PM

Chris Ween: Roses are too expensive
And they die too soon to.
I'd rather buy you lingerie
and model it for you.


Roses are red
They give girls great bliss
I can honestly say
I can fap to this
 
2014-02-14 12:10:46 PM
I made you a cake
and I made you a sweater
and I made you a cage
and a mask made of leather.
 
2014-02-14 12:10:49 PM
I was once struck by love's dart
It changed me in ways I can't chart

That bastard's arrow
struck straight to the marrow

And pinned me so she could stomp my heart
 
2014-02-14 12:11:05 PM
Anus b red
Bruises r blue
Can I stick
The Ol' Avenger
In u
 
2014-02-14 12:11:32 PM
Roses are red
And so is this blister
It might be from your mom
Or maybe your sister
 
2014-02-14 12:12:04 PM
There are answers in the bible
and answers in the stars
me, I'm just looking for a slut
for that I look to bars.
 
2014-02-14 12:12:08 PM
Yesterday's gone
Tomorrow's too late
Today I'm ready
Its time to mate.
 
2014-02-14 12:12:16 PM
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
ya got big tits,
I wanna suck on 'em too!

/Pondo Sinatra rules.
 
2014-02-14 12:12:16 PM
Roses are Red
Your Heart is black
I was only with you
Because I liked the way you drained my ball sack
 
2014-02-14 12:12:32 PM
I don't have it handy for scanning, but when I was in high school an office aide delivered a hand-drawn copy of a Grateful Dead skeleton with a rebus spelling out "I love you Max."

Everyone in my German class went "AWWW."


/ truly was a lucky guy.
 
2014-02-14 12:12:33 PM
Roses are Red
Grass is Greenest
when I think of you
I touch my penis
 
2014-02-14 12:12:41 PM
Roses are red
Violets are blue
For an extra 20
Can I stick it where you poo
 
2014-02-14 12:12:45 PM
Psychiatry is fake,
medications are off the menu.
But your money I will take,
as I praise the great Xenu.
 
2014-02-14 12:13:27 PM
Roses are red,
Violets are purple
Come over here,
I'll give you a nurple
 
2014-02-14 12:13:33 PM
O! Perjuddigously, my application for the mating season burbles in peat.

Though four months remain, its crust fertobbles.

For it has been filled out in triplicate. In triplicate. In triplicate.

In triplicate. In triplicate.
 
2014-02-14 12:13:39 PM
Roses are red
Violets are blue
You jill off on Tinychat
I like to watch when you do
 
2014-02-14 12:13:51 PM
Roses are red
Brown is my palm
I went elbow deep
In the ass of your mom
 
2014-02-14 12:14:18 PM
Our safe word in a love poem
mumbled through this gag
my heart is in your hand my love
though my dick is in this cage
 
2014-02-14 12:15:02 PM
Roses are Red
Violets are Blue
O Solo mio on V-Day is no need to pout
If you can't seem to hold it just rub one out
 
2014-02-14 12:15:09 PM
Oh freddled gruntbuggly,
Thy micturations are to me
As plurdled gabbleblotchits on a lurgid bee.
Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes,
And hooptiously drangle me with crinkly bindlewurdles,
Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts
With my blurglecruncheon, see if I don't!
 
2014-02-14 12:15:35 PM
Roses are red
I want to pee in your butt
 
2014-02-14 12:16:16 PM

CatherineM: Porous Horace: CatherineM
I sniff at the hem
Of your ocelot-blue miniskirt

Oh, CatherineM
Forget about them
I like when you cum you go *snert*

hahaha.. wait, were you in my bedroom last night?!


I doubt it - I've got you penned-in for next week
That sweet snerting sound, oh my ear-parts shall seek
There's something about me that glows in the dark
And thanks you for giving to me totalfark.
 
2014-02-14 12:16:17 PM
We're posting in a thread linked to a fork,
and I'm definitely not doing any work.
Still I have no complaints to bring to light,
since I just got another greenlight.
 
2014-02-14 12:16:39 PM
Roses are red
Violets are red
Everything's red
Retinal Hemorrhage!
 
2014-02-14 12:17:09 PM

generalDisdain: Roses are red
Brown is my palm
I went elbow deep
In the ass of your mom


i586.photobucket.com
 
2014-02-14 12:17:34 PM
This is like a dream
Our love like no other
Please do not scream
You'll wake up your mother
 
2014-02-14 12:18:30 PM
Safe words and ball gags and hot wax that's dripping
Squelches and squishes and your brand new nip ring

Chemical concotions you probably shouldn't drink
These are a few of my favorite things...
 
2014-02-14 12:19:34 PM
Quietly we made our love
while in your parents house
though when I went to clean it up
your father saw my dick
 
2014-02-14 12:19:55 PM
I'll cross the lands and seas
so you can get on your knees
and blow me.
 
2014-02-14 12:19:58 PM
some crazy farker
sent me to a website of forks
now my mood grows darker
in this room of dorks.
 
2014-02-14 12:20:25 PM

James!: Quietly we made our love
while in your parents house
though when I went to clean it up
your father saw my dick


Huh. That's oddly specific.
 
2014-02-14 12:20:25 PM
Roses are silver
Violets are purple
I've really farked myself
 
2014-02-14 12:20:31 PM
You're such a great gal
Our love it is biatchin'
Now take off your shoes
And get back in the kitchen

/republican valentine
 
2014-02-14 12:20:38 PM
I was having a really crappy day
til this thread came along and brightened the way
thank you dear farkers for making me laugh
Now, who'd like to join me in this nice bubble bath?
 
2014-02-14 12:21:24 PM
Roses are red
so is my sack
your cat likes dangly things
 
2014-02-14 12:21:36 PM
Roses are red
Just like Fark's ire
Eat a bowl of dicks
And die in a fire
 
2014-02-14 12:22:00 PM
Love is a pair of big 'ol creamy farty boobies,
There, I said it.
 
2014-02-14 12:22:28 PM
I walked into the bathroom once
while your sister took a shower
And though I should have walked away
I stayed perhaps an hour.
 
2014-02-14 12:25:30 PM
Sir Cumference the Flatulent:

You have an unnatural talent for this.
 
2014-02-14 12:26:11 PM
When your brother did come out
your family was quite shocked
I'll admit I did suspect
from the times he sucked my cock
 
2014-02-14 12:27:04 PM

megarian: James!: Quietly we made our love
while in your parents house
though when I went to clean it up
your father saw my dick

Huh. That's oddly specific.


We've all been there.
 
2014-02-14 12:27:17 PM

SmackLT: Dammit, nothing rhymes with anal


banal.

your jokes were tired,
lame and banal
so shut the fark up
and give me some anal.

there you go.
 
2014-02-14 12:27:21 PM
Roses are red
Gold is the honey
My favorite new word
Is the word "cunny"
 
2014-02-14 12:27:32 PM
Some serious prose pros on Fark today.
 
2014-02-14 12:28:13 PM
Roses are red
You must admit
The way you write poems
Ain't worth a shiat
 
2014-02-14 12:28:25 PM
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Your mom does rough anal,
Your sister does, too.
 
2014-02-14 12:28:43 PM
It took some time to love you
It took a while to care
but it took no time at all
to remove your underwear
 
2014-02-14 12:30:16 PM

megarian: Woah. It got all gunty up in here.


What have I missed on Fark
Been gone since December
Woah. It got all gunty up in here.
Yup, that's what I remember.
 
2014-02-14 12:32:11 PM

CatherineM: I'll sponsor the first three liters that write a poem for me.


Here is my poem for CatherineM
She is the loveliest of men
when she goes I smell the wind
and when she comes I come again
 
2014-02-14 12:32:19 PM
My love for you,
rivals Drew's love for booze.
Granted Drew is a tool,
since Heineken he consumes.

Fine Maker's Mark,
is decent for a bourbon.
Still to properly run Fark,
he should get something less urban.

Since this site must make money,
hand over fistful.
He could stop being so stingy,
and get Pappy Van Winkle.
 
2014-02-14 12:32:27 PM
Roses are red
Violets are purple
Let me put it
In your urkel.
 
2014-02-14 12:32:31 PM
Dear <insert target of one's affection here>
This is my gun
I love you
why are you running?
*pew pew pew*
 
2014-02-14 12:32:53 PM
Roses are red
Thank you for breaking my heart and leaving me for that loser who still lives with his mom
I hope the sores on your lip never go away
I've never been much for poetry
 
2014-02-14 12:33:37 PM
Oh syphilis, oh syphilis
Why will you not rest?
My mind is a shadow
There are sores on my chest,

I met you in Spring,
When the flowers bloom,
You said you were clean
We went to your room,

Twas 19 odd 6,
The year we met,
Unfortunate for me, penicillin
Was not invented yet.
 
2014-02-14 12:34:27 PM
My style is impetuous,
my defense is impregnable.
I'm just ferocious,
I want to eat your children.
 
2014-02-14 12:34:28 PM

beverly8: SmackLT: Dammit, nothing rhymes with anal

banal.

your jokes were tired,
lame and banal
so shut the fark up
and give me some anal.

there you go.


Banal rhymes with wall and tall

your jokes were tired,
lame and banal
so shut the fark up
and lick my left ball
 
2014-02-14 12:36:22 PM
Being with you
Makes my heartstrings go twitch.
But now you've given me
This strange crotchital itch.
 
2014-02-14 12:36:23 PM
I saw you out across the way
your hair done just so
I'd never seen a gal so fair
so I jerked off in the snow.
 
2014-02-14 12:37:28 PM
We met be the moonlight,
as I was taking a swim.
You laughed ever so gently,
DAMNIT, THERE WAS SHRINKAGE!
 
2014-02-14 12:37:37 PM
Roses are red
Violets are Blue
It's dark in this cave.
You've been killed by a grue.
 
2014-02-14 12:38:29 PM
Penis, penis in your snatch
Baby you are quite a catch
Your juices make my dick grow tall
For Valentines lets try anal
 
2014-02-14 12:42:25 PM
 
2014-02-14 12:43:14 PM
Valentine's is all about love
Tonight, take off the glove
 
2014-02-14 12:43:52 PM
I'd love to stick it in your deal
if you will allow it
but if not I'll buy a doll
and cry your name while I plow it.
 
2014-02-14 12:44:24 PM
Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
I don't care that we're cousins,
Let's get drunk and screw.
 
2014-02-14 12:44:50 PM
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Just like fine wine
you are old
 
2014-02-14 12:44:58 PM

Langston: beverly8: SmackLT: Dammit, nothing rhymes with anal

banal.

your jokes were tired,
lame and banal
so shut the fark up
and give me some anal.

there you go.

Banal rhymes with wall and tall

your jokes were tired,
lame and banal
so shut the fark up
and lick my left ball


damnit, that's what I get for having only read the word.

I just pronounce shiat,
as I see fit
then someone catches me
and reveals me for a twit.
 
2014-02-14 12:45:33 PM
She offered her honor,
he honored her offer,
and then all night long,
he was on her and off her.
 
2014-02-14 12:45:38 PM
Violets are blue
most roses are pink
This Valentine's Day
I'm fisting your stink
 
2014-02-14 12:45:38 PM
Roses are red
You're a dumb biatch
Your prose is worse than
Hemorrhoid itch
 
2014-02-14 12:46:58 PM
Roses are red,
My cock is hard,
Now drop those panties,
You big tub of lard.
 
2014-02-14 12:47:12 PM
Roses are Red
And they are smelly
Can I get some ass?
I got KY Jelly.
 
2014-02-14 12:47:58 PM
Roses are red
genocide is terrible
but forget all of that
let's declaw this gerbil
 
2014-02-14 12:48:35 PM
Roses are Red
Your crimes are heinous
Tonight on your bed
It's going in your anus

For of this one deed
makes you squirm about
I give you my seed
All up in your snout

All this because
of one wonderful drug
with chloroform
Cloth, and a backwards hug

Locked in the trunk
To show all my love
Off the cliff you go
With a little shove

She died out of love
Was all they could say
Little did they know
I was actually gay.

Wait...

Am I doing this wrong? Should I not have done that?
 
2014-02-14 12:48:55 PM

Sir Cumference the Flatulent: Being with you
Makes my heartstrings go twitch.
But now you've given me
This strange crotchital itch.


lulz
 
2014-02-14 12:50:24 PM
Roses are red.
Sorry I finished early.
 
2014-02-14 12:50:31 PM
We adventure together
we've traversed the poles
but tonight Valentine
let's explore some holes
 
2014-02-14 12:53:18 PM
Unarmored I go
into your deep dungeon
prepared to retreat
so we don't have childre...
oops, skeet skeet skeet
 
2014-02-14 12:53:58 PM

Tziva: Sir Cumference the Flatulent:

NOW ONE IN GERMAN


Ich habe getroffen
Ein Mädchen, die Uschi
Ich möchte gern reinstecken
Mein Schwanz in ihre Muschi.

(I'm better in English)
 
2014-02-14 12:54:45 PM
Roses are lovely
And violets fantastic
I were you were real
And not made out of plastic
 
2014-02-14 12:54:59 PM
Roses are red,
Carnations are pinker
I can fit three fingers
right in your sphyncter
 
2014-02-14 12:55:48 PM

TheSwizz: Hey I just farked you
And this is crazy
But there's the kitchen
So sandwich maybe?


Omg I think we have a winner,
Buy this guy a chicken dinner,
not from Chikfila, that'd be gay
Kfc's colonel will show you the way
Finger lickin' good had nothing to do with the chicken
Mrs Sanders enjoyed a good dickin'
 
2014-02-14 12:56:21 PM
Roses are red
Stinkweed smells bad
Kinda like
your maxi pad
 
2014-02-14 01:00:23 PM
I'm a sucker for poetry
it makes me feel like such a twit
I smile and laugh and dance around
and grow chubby reading it

Valentines day and valentines night
and valentines morning after
I think I will I know I might
have to get a mop
 
2014-02-14 01:02:36 PM
Not exactly a Love poem, but here is a somewhat relevant haiku:

I see meat curtains
A damp, smelly camel toe
Big girl in spandex
 
2014-02-14 01:05:51 PM
She wore a sexy outfit
you wore nothing at all
and in the night you traded
I have pictures of it all
 
2014-02-14 01:07:16 PM

TheSwizz: Hey I just farked you
And this is crazy
But there's the kitchen
So sandwich maybe?


*snerk*

You are gifted!
 
2014-02-14 01:08:13 PM

Sir Cumference the Flatulent: Tziva: NOW ONE IN GERMAN

Ich habe getroffen
Ein Mädchen, die Uschi
Ich möchte gern reinstecken
Mein Schwanz in ihre Muschi.

(I'm better in English)



I have no idea what it says, so I love it.
 
2014-02-14 01:08:59 PM
There once was a man from Dover
His wife she liked to get bent over
He'd hide in the closet
cause he like to watch it
as she was bent over and over and over
 
2014-02-14 01:11:05 PM
Roses are red,
And so are your drawers,
So flip over baby,
Or I'll go find a whore!
 
2014-02-14 01:11:57 PM
img.photobucket.com
 
2014-02-14 01:12:23 PM

beverly8: Langston: beverly8: SmackLT: Dammit, nothing rhymes with anal

banal.

your jokes were tired,
lame and banal
so shut the fark up
and give me some anal.

there you go.

Banal rhymes with wall and tall

your jokes were tired,
lame and banal
so shut the fark up
and lick my left ball

damnit, that's what I get for having only read the word.

I just pronounce shiat,
as I see fit
then someone catches me
and reveals me for a twit.


Don't feel too bad, i read it that way too, now what were you saying about plowing some poo?
 
2014-02-14 01:13:29 PM
There once was an old man from Wooster
Who said to his wife as he goosed her
It used to be grand
But now look at my hand
You're not wiping as clean as you used ter.
 
2014-02-14 01:14:54 PM
Your smile makes me crazy,
your eyes send me to a tizzy,
your rack is amazing,
and your butt tickles my fancy.
 
2014-02-14 01:18:07 PM
My young friends let me give you advice
If you want to stay good with your wife
delete browser histories
 and keep it a mystery
what your each watching
when she's out at night
 
2014-02-14 01:20:00 PM
We climb into bed
You turned out the light.
Can we please do anal?
Cause your cooter ain't tight.

Now that you're drunk
On Old Milwaukee
Let's see how you look
After bukkake.

I've looked up at Mars
I've looked up at Venus
But I never saw a girl
With that big a peenus

I knew you were so impressed
When you saw my Beemer.
Maybe now you'll let me
Give you a Cleveland Steamer

Instead of staying in
Weeping all alone
How I 'bout I give you
The ol' rusty trombone?

What we're doing is OK.
Trust me, I'm a professional.
So why not get back on your knees
Here in the confessional.
 
2014-02-14 01:20:51 PM
My young friends let me give you advice,
If you want to stay good with your guy.
Delete phone histories
and keep it a mystery.
Who you're out porking,
while he's streaming porn at night
 
2014-02-14 01:21:53 PM
Roses are red
I watched your mom
Do DVDA
On redtube dot com
 
2014-02-14 01:25:28 PM
My favorite has always been the one from a Steve Martin movie.

Will you be my Valentine?

Think about it a bit.

If you will, that's OK.

If not, who gives a shiat?
 
2014-02-14 01:26:12 PM

memtastic: megarian: Woah. It got all gunty up in here.

What have I missed on Fark
Been gone since December
Woah. It got all gunty up in here.
Yup, that's what I remember.


Hehehe
 
2014-02-14 01:26:43 PM
Roses are red
Poppies are orange
Sorry about the herpes
 
2014-02-14 01:26:51 PM
Roses are red, violets are blue.
Go ahead and scream, no-one can hear you anyways, just like all my other vicitms.
 
2014-02-14 01:28:36 PM
Roses are red
My darling dreamer,
How would you like
A Cleveland Steamer?
 
2014-02-14 01:28:57 PM
Roses are red
heroin is addictive
lets go score some more heroin
you may have to blow the guy
 
2014-02-14 01:30:52 PM
I just got another greenlight
despite my best effort
to screw up the headline
and insult the admins
 
2014-02-14 01:33:08 PM
Roses are red
violets are blue
I should probably warn you
my dick is barbed like a cat
 
2014-02-14 01:33:56 PM
Roses are red, violets are blue.
I'm horny.
You're ugly and smelly.
I'll need more alcohol.
 
2014-02-14 01:34:54 PM
I may be drunk
but I seem to remember
you're the suicide bomber.
Who blew up the bus last November.
 
2014-02-14 01:39:15 PM
Honey, I've missed you
Come here and give me a kiss
You taste like smegma
 
2014-02-14 01:43:46 PM
She danced through the ballroom
With beauty and grace
She's got a great body
Butterface
 
2014-02-14 01:46:12 PM
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I got checked for herpes,
So should you.
 
2014-02-14 01:47:46 PM
Roses are red
Violets are blue
You have nice tits
Let's screw


Roses are red
Violets are purple
Where is my acid
Dishwasher monkeys
 
2014-02-14 01:55:59 PM

megarian: Roses are red
Violets are violet
get it right
goddamnit



Roses are pink
Violet is a stripper
You should be ashamed
Of rhyming with orange.
 
2014-02-14 02:02:50 PM
Your eyes are so pretty
Your smile's kinda cute
I hope you are a size 16
So I can finish my skin suit.

Red are the roses
Green is the clover
I'm tired of the front door
Time to flip you over.

Just because you cheated on me
I don't think you're a sinner.
I hope you really liked him
Cause I cooked him up for dinner.

I'll never forget when you took my hand
Such happiness I found.
Now I'll always hold your hand
While the rest is underground.

I love you like the NRA
Loves shooting guns
So let me stick my "pistol"
In between your buns.

Our love is a song
That just must be sung
So open your mouth
And I'll coat your tongue.

I'm not a necrophiliac!
We have manners in Oklahoma!
I didn't screw the dead girl
Just the one that's in a coma.

My love for you is epic
My love for you is deep
My love for you is kind of sick
Because you are a sheep.

I never dated a woman
Over six feet tall.
So tell me if I heard you right.
You said your name's RuPaul?
 
2014-02-14 02:05:35 PM
Roses are red
Pickles are green
I like your legs
And what's in between.
 
2014-02-14 02:08:17 PM
*golf clap*
 
2014-02-14 02:09:07 PM
She bought me a car,
I bought her a Winneabago.
We traveled far, towing mine
and driving her any which-way-we'd-go.

When at last we quarreled,
she made such a fuss
hiat me with a bar,
and threw me under her bus.

(got nothing')
 
2014-02-14 02:11:24 PM
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I got so excited
I came on your shoe.
 
2014-02-14 02:12:19 PM
Birds are animals
Bees are bugs
It would sure be swell
If you'd whip out your jugs
 
2014-02-14 02:13:58 PM
Roses are combustible
Violets grow upwards.
I'll have another slice of cantaloupe
Because we're already married.
 
2014-02-14 02:15:31 PM

dopekitty74: beverly8: Langston: beverly8: SmackLT: Dammit, nothing rhymes with anal

banal.

your jokes were tired,
lame and banal
so shut the fark up
and give me some anal.

there you go.

Banal rhymes with wall and tall

your jokes were tired,
lame and banal
so shut the fark up
and lick my left ball

damnit, that's what I get for having only read the word.

I just pronounce shiat,
as I see fit
then someone catches me
and reveals me for a twit.

Don't feel too bad, i read it that way too, now what were you saying about plowing some poo?


the guy seemed stumped,
and seemed to need aid,
describing an act of the rump,
for which many are paid

I tried to oblige,
and failed as well,
in rhyming this act,
which makes ones ass hurt like hell
 
2014-02-14 02:19:43 PM
The Roses have faded.
They say we are jaded.
The Mariachis serenaded,
Us anyway.

They say we are older.
The long nights are colder.
But you can cry on my shoulder.
Anyday.

Forever we'll sleep.
Before shiat gets too deep.
The last promise we'll keep.
Never pray.
 
2014-02-14 02:20:50 PM
Roses are Red,
Olives have pits,
You have Great Legs,
But I'd rather look at your Tits
 
2014-02-14 02:23:16 PM
I thought we'd have a couple drinks
Then maybe we'd go dancin'
I didn't think I'd end up interviewed
By NBC's Chris Hansen.

I'd give you the stars
And the moon  If I could
But I don't have no cash
So I'll give you some wood

I think you're really smart
I think you're really funny
I also think I lost my watch
In your gaping cunny.

I met the girl of my dreams today
I don't know how to reach her
She doesn't look at me that way
'Cause I'm her third grade teacher.
 
2014-02-14 02:26:29 PM
Roses are red
Violets are scarlet
I only loved you
'Cause you're a harlot


/lame, came up with it in high school years ago
 
2014-02-14 02:36:24 PM
Roses are expensive
So I cancelled my order
As for your ring,
try looking in Mordor.
 
2014-02-14 02:37:25 PM
Roses are flowers
Ultraviolets are visible only to bees.
I'll be the captain of your heart
Until such time as I fart.
 
2014-02-14 02:38:48 PM
met her in a bar, figured she'd do
didn't use protection, gave her my goo
now she feels bad
says i'm gonna be called "dad"
joke's on her, i was snipped in '02!
 
2014-02-14 02:42:16 PM
Roses are red
Violets are purple
Let's drink some beer
 
2014-02-14 02:43:02 PM

exatron: O! Perjuddigously, my application for the mating season burbles in peat.

Though four months remain, its crust fertobbles.

For it has been filled out in triplicate. In triplicate. In triplicate.

In triplicate. In triplicate.


www.whoateallthepies.tv
 
2014-02-14 02:44:52 PM
Roses are Red
Violets are Blue
I'll put some on grave
When I'm through with you
 
2014-02-14 02:45:27 PM
Roses are Red
Violets are Blue
I'll put some on your grave
When I'm through with you
 
2014-02-14 02:45:39 PM

ferretman: exatron: O! Perjuddigously, my application for the mating season burbles in peat.

Though four months remain, its crust fertobbles.

For it has been filled out in triplicate. In triplicate. In triplicate.

In triplicate. In triplicate.

[www.whoateallthepies.tv image 310x319]


How'd you find a picture of my ex?
 
2014-02-14 02:57:37 PM
Sometimes, the classics are best... such as this one from the overly attached girlfriend
https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=LDWJn3IwiaM
 
2014-02-14 03:08:05 PM
Your bank account is fed,
so don't look so blue.
I poked holes in the condom,
now I'm drinking for two.
 
2014-02-14 03:15:09 PM
We've spent over twenty valentines days together
And if the fates are kind we'll spend at least twenty more.
Whether we're together in bed, out on the town,
Or just quietly holding hands and watching a silly movie,
You know when to say nothing, when to speak,
And what I need to hear, when I need to hear it.
Happy Valentines Day, Mom.
 
2014-02-14 03:16:19 PM
Roses are red,
take me in your mouth.
 
2014-02-14 03:17:10 PM
Rose's was red,
Violet's was black and blue.
What color will yours be
When I'm done with you?
 
2014-02-14 03:36:46 PM
To you I say this
The one I love most of all
Please poop on my face.
 
2014-02-14 03:38:22 PM
There once was a man from Nantucket,
Whose c*ck was so long you should suck it.
Does that make you horny, baby?
 
2014-02-14 03:39:16 PM
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Vaccinate your kids
Or I'm coming for you.
 
2014-02-14 03:41:33 PM
In my dreams
You're all I sees;
Boobs, butt and knees
You're my main squeeze

/Steve Dallas
 
2014-02-14 03:42:14 PM
Roses are Red
Violets are Blue
Let me get the suction tube
And I'll start the Abortion.
 
2014-02-14 03:47:47 PM
Roses are red
I hear Sochi sucks
Turn off the TV
I don't give a ____
 
2014-02-14 03:49:14 PM
Mods are often drunk,
Mods are always dumb.
Don't be in such a funk,
because one if them's still a slut.
 
2014-02-14 03:50:16 PM
The dinner we had was amazing,
romance and laughter galore!
We have so much fun together,
You, the woman I adore.

We drove 'round the city,
And picked up a hooker with glee.
If two can have such sexy fun,
Imagine what it's like with three!

And now we dismember this hooker,
And dump her into the sea!
But first you play with her liver,
While I have sex with her knee.
 
2014-02-14 03:50:23 PM
Here i lay
Broken hearted
i expected golden showers
but you sharted
 
2014-02-14 03:52:56 PM
Your employees are common,
they leave the office in a squalor.
Why not hire a woman?
They work for 77 cents on the dollar.
 
2014-02-14 03:56:30 PM
Your crush may be dumb.
Your crush might have a fatass.
But your crush is still quite fun,
and her back looks like a mattress.
 
2014-02-14 03:59:09 PM
My nose is red,
Your thighs are blue,
When you are on your period, I shouldn't go down on you.
 
2014-02-14 03:59:41 PM

netweavr: Mods are often drunk,
Mods are always dumb.
Don't be in such a funk,
because one if them's still a slut.


*flex*
 
2014-02-14 04:00:03 PM

CatherineM: I'll sponsor the first three liters that write a poem for me.



CM's getting so damp
Under that lamp
Trying to be an exciter
for every Single liter.
 
2014-02-14 04:01:17 PM
I thoroughly enjoyed
All the wonderful sex
But I think I should tell you
Better stock up on Valtrex.
 
2014-02-14 04:01:46 PM

xanadian: netweavr: Mods are often drunk,
Mods are always dumb.
Don't be in such a funk,
because one if them's still a slut.

*flex*


Holla atcha!
How's your mama?
 
2014-02-14 04:03:58 PM
You tried to give me a gift
All it did was create a rift
Now I'm sad and crying
I fear our love is dying
 
2014-02-14 04:06:57 PM
Rose's are red.
Violet's are blue.
If I get half a chance,
I'll look at yours too
 
2014-02-14 04:07:40 PM
For some reason I have "The Golden Rule" stuck in my head now.
 
2014-02-14 04:09:56 PM
My Heart Is a Wiffle Ball/ Freedom Pole
I reared digital moonlight,
You read its clock, scrawled neon across that black,
Kismetly ... ubiquitously crestfallen,
Thrown down to strafe your foothills ... I'll suck the bones pretty
(http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/lostinshowbiz/2014/feb/13/k ris ten-stewart-acting-poetry-camp-x-ray)
 
2014-02-14 04:11:33 PM
Roses are red
Violets are blue
You're ex, you said you want to bed
Now, I'm leaving you.
 
2014-02-14 04:14:44 PM
You blew off our special night
Now, all we do is fight
You always talk to your ex
fark you, go to her for sex
 
2014-02-14 04:26:51 PM
Roses are red
Your wishlist is long
Who knew they had
that much variety of dong?
 
2014-02-14 04:34:25 PM
Roses are ghey
on this romantic day
I think I'll fap for hours
Because my left hand was asking for it; you should see the way it was dressed.
 
2014-02-14 04:37:38 PM
Roses are red,
Violets are bossy.
Enough with the head,
back to the salad tossing.
 
2014-02-14 04:46:41 PM
My friends all warned me
That you were quite insane
I didn't believe them till  I saw you
Blowing a Great Dane


I thought I was adventurous
In my relationships before
But you just did some stuff with me
That breaks Rule 34

Jumper cables, macaroons,
A ferret painted white
Are just a few ingredients
To make it a special night.

When all your lovers have turned away
And you're sad and out of place
You can always count on me
TO LAUGH IN YOUR FARKING FACE.
 
2014-02-14 04:50:40 PM
Roses are Grey
Violets are Too
I'm Colorblind
You Damn Fool
 
2014-02-14 05:14:35 PM
Roses can be Red
They can also be black
I dont think my penis
can fit in your crack
 
2014-02-14 05:18:31 PM
Oh clit  oh clit
Oh slimey  slit
All matted in hair
And covered in sh*t
I love thee
 
2014-02-14 05:18:48 PM
img.fark.net
 
2014-02-14 05:41:45 PM
The Queen's priceless jewels
Fort Knox's gold nuggets
The oil of all Texas
The treasures of Lexus

I'd trade them right now, with no hesitation
and part with it all Without reservation
Just grant me a wish, while we are alone
To watch you perform The Rusty Trombone
 
2014-02-14 06:03:21 PM
Roses are red
Hitachis are white
Japanese engineering
is making my night!
 
2014-02-14 06:09:34 PM
It's here once again
The most vile holiday
There are couples out farking
And loners with no play
It's freezing and lonely
With just myself to blame
I'm drowning in vodka
To forget all the shame
 
2014-02-14 06:19:19 PM
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Can we be friends?
You own a Fedora
 
2014-02-14 06:22:09 PM
Literally Addicted:
*snerk*

You are gifted!


I doth my fedora to you.  And promise to pay it forward.
 
2014-02-14 06:35:30 PM

KingoftheCheese: Cheesy poems? Here's the card I made for my wife this year.

[i431.photobucket.com image 650x1024]


Roses are red,
which I didn't order.
So I homemade this card,
please touch my boner.
 
2014-02-14 08:14:56 PM
Roses are red
Brown is the toast
I'm only here
Until last post.
 
2014-02-14 08:41:07 PM
Roses are red
And this is no boast
But I am the one
That gets the last post
 
2014-02-14 09:00:25 PM
Roses are red
My balls are blue
Bend it on over
I'm gonna do you!
 
2014-02-14 09:08:11 PM
Roses are Red
this day i a crock
screw you all
My date is a sock
 
2014-02-14 09:10:13 PM
CM's love pumpkin is a peculiar thing.
Most mangled and covered with hair.
It looks like the face of a preacher.
But smells like the ass of a bear.


LAST!
 
2014-02-14 09:13:14 PM
penis
 
2014-02-14 09:17:13 PM

kvinesknows: penis


pump
 
2014-02-14 09:30:06 PM
Roses are red
Your mom is a wreck
But I'll get last post
So suck it, Trebek
 
2014-02-14 09:31:26 PM
Roses are red
This thread is the suck
I forget where I heard it
But your mom is a whore
 
2014-02-14 09:47:01 PM
Roses are red
Your poems are crap
Your dog has the mange
And your sister's a trap
 
2014-02-14 10:00:13 PM
Roses are red
my ween is micro
Under my gunt
Sleeps the lizard from Geico
 
2014-02-14 10:49:35 PM
Roses are red
You're mom is a whore
She gave me head
God she's a slore

/last biatches!
 
2014-02-14 11:12:20 PM
Roses are red
Violets are purple
Your mom's cavernous coont
Smells of maple surple
 
2014-02-14 11:14:07 PM
My love I must know
Please don't get snarky
How do you feel
About teh bukkake?


My soul is crushed
My heart is torn
What do you mean
You don't like tentacle porn?
 
2014-02-14 11:22:02 PM
Our love life is in a rut
So I let you fark my butt
It means nothing to you
Who else wants to screw?
 
2014-02-14 11:50:40 PM
Roses are red
your balls aren't spherical
Finding your real dad
Would be a miracle
 
2014-02-14 11:52:10 PM
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I gave you some head
Now lets screw

/once again
//last biatches
///slashies cum in threes
 
2014-02-14 11:55:56 PM
Roses are red
Kansas is flat
I gave a shiat
In your favorite hat
 
2014-02-15 12:57:42 AM
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Speaking of red
That's not a rash
 
2014-02-15 01:09:11 AM
Roses are red
I ate a bean
Your mom's fond of balls
And likes the peen
 
2014-02-15 09:42:34 AM
Roses are red
Violets are blue
You have nice titties
and give great blowjobs

/actual poem I gave my wife
//she didn't love it
 
2014-02-15 09:52:43 AM
Roses are red
Craigslist asked
Can you host
 
2014-02-15 11:38:29 AM
Roses are red
What is this crap?
I'm a bad poet.
 
2014-02-15 12:20:53 PM
Roses are red
Some holes are dinky
You may want to fist
Please first try the pinky
 
2014-02-15 12:36:48 PM
Roses are red
Your dog is a mutter
At least he loves
Smooth peanut butter
 
2014-02-15 06:10:21 PM
I had hoped I wouldn't have to do it but here goes:

Roses are red and violets are purple
Sugar is sweet and so is maple syrple.
I'm the seventh out of seven sons
My pappy was a pistol
I'm a son of a gun.

Roger Miller
 
2014-02-15 07:00:23 PM
Roses are red
Some roses are white
After I finish this whisky
I'll be super tight

/...hic!
 
2014-02-15 09:25:18 PM
Roses are red
Stars they do twinkle
I got Priest herpes
When I touched his dinkle
 
2014-02-16 12:00:01 AM
Violets are blue
Roses are red
Why am I still up?
I should go to bed.
 
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