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(Fork)   Bad Valentine's Day love poem thread. Come do your worst. Roses are red   (fork.com) divider line 508
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2169 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Feb 2014 at 11:33 AM (43 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



508 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-02-14 10:09:20 AM  
NO. STOP IT.
 
2014-02-14 10:09:34 AM  
Roses are red, violets are blue.
I have the clap, and now you do too.
 
2014-02-14 10:10:29 AM  

skybreaker: NO. STOP IT.


Dedicated to all the Nice Guys out there.
 
2014-02-14 10:10:34 AM  
Roses are red
MBK is brown
He's always up for
Getting down.

Spoon over Marin is funny
And not at all crass
Rumor has it
She has a nice ass
 
2014-02-14 10:10:35 AM  
Roses are red.
Blood is redder.
Hey, do you like
Eddie Vedder?

Roses are red
Roses are blue
Goddamn GMO
makes flowers confusing too.
 
2014-02-14 10:10:35 AM  
Skybreaker is mad
Llamagirl is blue
Gimme some Jim Bean
And you will be too
 
2014-02-14 10:10:40 AM  
I loved her 'til morning,
and sighed, as I kissed her,
"it's too bad I'm married
to your biatch of a sister."
 
2014-02-14 10:10:42 AM  
Happy Valentines Day
I am NOT subby
I guess you could say
I could still do this all day
 
2014-02-14 10:10:57 AM  
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'm sick of this shiat
So fark you
 
2014-02-14 10:11:30 AM  
skybreaker is hung
With pretty nice balls
He's always up for it
When duty calls
 
2014-02-14 10:12:26 AM  
This haiku is bad.
Valentine's day is now hear.
I misspelled a word.
 
2014-02-14 10:12:54 AM  
Ashes to ashes
Dust to dust
If it weren't for you
My dick would rust
 
2014-02-14 10:13:08 AM  
Roses are red
Black are my Crocs
Please let me smell
Your sweet tampon box
 
2014-02-14 10:13:30 AM  
Roses are red
And so are your lips
Probably because of the psychology of makeup-makers because the lips are used as a symbol of a woman's vagina, which becomes redder, fuller and plumper when aroused and engorged with blood. By painting the lips red, it symbolizes that the woman is aroused and interested in a mate and is using it as a signal to attract attention to that fact.
Something about your nips.
 
2014-02-14 10:13:31 AM  
Roses are red,
This thread is sketchy
When I see your face,
I get all wretchy.
 
2014-02-14 10:14:02 AM  
Roses are red
Marijuana is green
How 'bout I put
My P in your V?
 
2014-02-14 10:14:06 AM  
You leave me so breathless;
you're charming and cute.
I never have loved
a more fine prostitute.
 
MBK [TotalFark]
2014-02-14 10:14:26 AM  
Valentine's Day is tonight
And Cat likes to talk smack
Which is kinda funny
Coming from a mattress back
 
2014-02-14 10:14:58 AM  
Roses are red,
orchids are black.
Swear to god,
the hooker gave the money back.
 
2014-02-14 10:14:58 AM  
Roses are red.
F*ck you.
 
2014-02-14 10:15:35 AM  
Roses are red,
violets are blue.
Let's get naked
and f*ck.
 
MBK [TotalFark]
2014-02-14 10:16:11 AM  
I've sent so much WIE
that the NSA knows me
So this Valentine's Day
send me some BIE

oh god that is pathetic
 
2014-02-14 10:16:15 AM  

MBK: Valentine's Day is tonight
And Cat likes to talk smack
Which is kinda funny
Coming from a mattress back


Mattress back attack
And isn't it so good
She'll give you a smack
And give you some wood.
 
2014-02-14 10:16:34 AM  
friends may come
and friends may go
and friends may peter out, you know

but we'll be friends
through thick and thin
peter out..or peter in
 
2014-02-14 10:18:06 AM  
Farkers are sexist
Wimmin be shoppin'
I'd appreciate it much
If you'd get my nuts a-poppin
 
2014-02-14 10:18:06 AM  
When I said we were through
I didn't mean us
So show me you care
By sucking my penis
 
2014-02-14 10:18:28 AM  
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways...

One fine ass.
Two incredible tits.
Three moist holes.

Wait, where are you going?
 
2014-02-14 10:18:37 AM  
I think of country matters
When I am with you
Jerk till my dick is in tatters
Because we didn't screw.
 
2014-02-14 10:18:45 AM  
Roses are red
Violets are violet
get it right
goddamnit
 
2014-02-14 10:18:57 AM  
We made love so sweetly,
for hour after hour.
I think I completely
used five pounds of flour.
 
2014-02-14 10:19:09 AM  
The roses are dead,
The violets are too,
I'm not ashamed to tell you,
I wish you were too.

(no it hasnt been a good v-day)
 
MBK [TotalFark]
2014-02-14 10:20:16 AM  
oh no, megarian is here
quick hide your rear
she got a new peg
that looks like a wooden leg
 
2014-02-14 10:20:16 AM  
Roses are red,
let's take her down a peg,
everyone together now,
"SHUT UP MEG"
 
2014-02-14 10:20:23 AM  
Ayn Rand says
that A=A
I think she's a lez
Who like the vajay.
 
2014-02-14 10:20:34 AM  
Roses are red
this thread should go green
Why not?
AHEM, Chris Ween
 
2014-02-14 10:20:49 AM  
Roses are red
You're a stupid c*nt
 
2014-02-14 10:21:28 AM  

the_rev: We made love so sweetly,
for hour after hour.
I think I completely
used five pounds of flour.


Oh my god, that is the funniest thing ever.  I did I spittake.  Kudos.
 
2014-02-14 10:21:37 AM  
Shut up meg.
 
2014-02-14 10:21:51 AM  

megarian: Roses are red
You're a stupid c*nt


LOL!
 
2014-02-14 10:21:55 AM  
Now that I gave in
And we threesome'd with my brother
I assume you're down
For you, me and your mother?
 
2014-02-14 10:22:00 AM  

megarian: Roses are red
You're a stupid c*nt


I found purple roses.
They are quite nice.
Apes enjoy grooming,
Can I check you for lice?
 
2014-02-14 10:22:01 AM  
Roses are red
So is your poo
If it wasn't for anal
I'd have nothing to do.
 
2014-02-14 10:22:02 AM  

JohnnyBravo: the_rev: We made love so sweetly,
for hour after hour.
I think I completely
used five pounds of flour.

Oh my god, that is the funniest thing ever.  I did I spittake.  Kudos.


Thanks...I'm trying!
 
2014-02-14 10:22:05 AM  
roses are red,
violets are fair.
oh my god,
C*NTS! C*NTS EVERYWHERE!
 
MBK [TotalFark]
2014-02-14 10:22:09 AM  
Girl your ugly
and that's okay
someone out there
will hit it anyway

(not directed at anyone, DON"T HURT ME)
 
2014-02-14 10:22:19 AM  

RexTalionis: Ayn Rand says
that A=A
I think she's a lez
Who like the vajay.


Haha that's good.
 
2014-02-14 10:22:46 AM  
Roses are red
Your lips are blue
Aw sh*t killed another one
 
2014-02-14 10:23:28 AM  
Roses are red
These poems are banal
I'd like to know
If you're down for some anal.

Violets are blue,
Roses are red.
You'd look really good
Tied up in my bed.
 
2014-02-14 10:23:31 AM  
Roses are red
Violets are purple.
I don't know the rest, but you're mother's a whore
 
2014-02-14 10:24:34 AM  
My love for you is deep and strong
My devotion as sturdy as the trees
But I would say, if there were any regrets
It'd be all those STDs
 
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