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(Daily Mail)   Portlandia, meet Californication   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 53
    More: Sad, Californication, high schools, Twitter feed, sports field, group sex, University and college admissions, private schools, KGW  
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9810 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Feb 2014 at 7:39 AM (50 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



53 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-02-14 07:42:57 AM  
Subby made one mistake; using the sad tag where an amusing and/or spiffy and/or hero tag was called for.
 
2014-02-14 07:44:53 AM  
Lightweights...
 
2014-02-14 07:51:20 AM  
So, they believe every one of those tweets are factual. It's not like teenagers occasionally exaggerate, or make up sh*t - using your thumbs on a cellphone *forces* you to tell the whole truth.

\god, I'm sick of *everyone* panicking over *every little thing* every goddamn day
 
2014-02-14 07:55:33 AM  
Lovely.

How to start a witch hunt in one easy lesson.  Set up a social media page with no moderation.

There are going to be some really unhappy former teachers when this is all over. Some of them may end up in jail (*if* any of these twats have any truth to them).
 
2014-02-14 07:56:52 AM  
Media, you are being trolled.

The 'middle school students' posting these salacious tweets are all one adult man with a wispy mustache.
 
2014-02-14 07:58:09 AM  
Tonight on the 11 o'clock news:

Teenagers that are given anonymity and asked to take a "survey" about deviance will make up as much deviant crap as possible.

Tune in at 11 to find out what they had to say...
 
2014-02-14 07:58:53 AM  
i.dailymail.co.uk

It was good of them to blur out a tiny part of that school's sign to protect their identities.
 
2014-02-14 08:02:01 AM  
I dunno, man, I was there man, I grew up there man, it was all orgies with pets included, huffing jenkem, rainbow parties like every other night, and lighting trapper keepers on fire and inhaling the fumes.  I tried to go to the authorities when things got out of control and I started flunking out of sophomore geometry.  But you don't know these people, man. I woke up with a horse head in my bed and was threatened with worse if I went public and posted an away message on AIM calling out all of the satanic debauchery that was happening
 
2014-02-14 08:02:35 AM  
I went up there for the Wizard World Portland comic con. It was lots of fun but everyone was so damn  nice.I knew they were up to something.
 
2014-02-14 08:06:01 AM  
......or, "How To Fark With The Media Using Social Networking."
 
2014-02-14 08:06:21 AM  
CheapEngineer:  using your thumbs on a cellphone *forces* you to tell the whole truth.

That's why I always use my penis
 
2014-02-14 08:06:42 AM  
Kids. Lie.

Media. Stupid.

Dutch Bros. Coffee.

Dutch Masters. Cigars.
 
2014-02-14 08:07:23 AM  
I'm thinking most are exaggerations if not blatant lies.
 
2014-02-14 08:08:01 AM  
I hope this is like some kind of Tasaday people hoax.
 
2014-02-14 08:11:39 AM  
www.mullet.co.za
 
2014-02-14 08:12:21 AM  
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
 
2014-02-14 08:16:50 AM  
and maybe they really do get a cup at dutch bros.
 
2014-02-14 08:18:53 AM  

poot_rootbeer: Media, you are being trolled.



ya, /b has a new hobby.
 
2014-02-14 08:20:03 AM  

MadMonk: The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.


And that's just Fark.com. let alone this ridiculous teenage Twiiter feed.
 
2014-02-14 08:21:25 AM  
True or not, FML.
 
2014-02-14 08:29:38 AM  
Is Hank Moody putting a bird on it?
 
2014-02-14 08:32:03 AM  
Christ-a-mighty high school has changed since I was there.

/quit farkin' on my lawn.
 
2014-02-14 08:36:34 AM  
I bet people in Vancouver are pissed at being called a suburb of Portland...
 
2014-02-14 09:04:08 AM  
I'm totally banging my teacher.  She lives in Canada.  You wouldn't know her.
 
2014-02-14 09:11:19 AM  
It's kind of hard to take seriously, considering what I might have written in junior high or high school just to have fun.  Of course, today is nothing like the drug-fueled miasma of free love and political radicalism that it was to a 12-year old  in the 1970s.  I remember this one kid who got his buckskin fringes caught in the back wheel of his Stingray, and had to go to the doctor.  Well, there was this candystriper at the hospital, she was like 17....well, anyway, it had to be true; I saw that kid's hospital bracelet.

The "kids don't lie" theory has a past-due date somewhere around age 10, I think.
 
2014-02-14 09:33:59 AM  

Chabash: I bet people in Vancouver are pissed at being called a suburb of Portland...


Portland itself isn't really all that big, but uses all the surrounding cities as suburbs to increase it's size. Not sure if this is to increase Fed dollars or they just assume everyone around wants to think like they do to support the massive infrastructure. They've probably spent money figuring out ways to annex Astoria, Hood River, and Salem. Although a lot of people commute to Portland from Salem, so maybe it's just a matter of time before we get Trimet taxed.

Hell, the Governor wants Washington State to pay for a bridge they don't want and can't understand why they don't - in fact, he lives and works in Portland when the Capital is in Salem. Taxpayers pay for his pad up there, and the big empty mansion in Salem - even his girlfriend is on the dole. Talk about perks. We should just go to war with Washington and take Vancouver. Or just continue to refer to it as Vancouver, Oregon and send the people income tax bills.
 
2014-02-14 09:52:11 AM  

CheapEngineer: So, they believe every one of those tweets are factual.



came to say the same thing
 
2014-02-14 10:07:01 AM  

CheapEngineer: So, they believe every one of those tweets are factual. It's not like teenagers occasionally exaggerate, or make up sh*t - using your thumbs on a cellphone *forces* you to tell the whole truth.

\god, I'm sick of *everyone* panicking over *every little thing* every goddamn day


My favorite was the "rainbow parties." These numb-nuts actually believed that one guy would lay there while various girls waited to blow him with different lipsticks colors. They beleived that!
 
2014-02-14 10:14:28 AM  

Combustion: CheapEngineer: So, they believe every one of those tweets are factual. It's not like teenagers occasionally exaggerate, or make up sh*t - using your thumbs on a cellphone *forces* you to tell the whole truth.

\god, I'm sick of *everyone* panicking over *every little thing* every goddamn day

My favorite was the "rainbow parties." These numb-nuts actually believed that one guy would lay there while various girls waited to blow him with different lipsticks colors. They beleived that!


I've come to the conclusion that it's porn producers that circulate things like this to drive up new business.
 
2014-02-14 10:18:33 AM  
The 'Couv != Portland.
 
2014-02-14 10:21:40 AM  

Billy Liar: drug-fueled miasma of free love


Count me in!
 
2014-02-14 10:31:43 AM  
Speaking from experience, some of it is well within the realm of possibility. I'd name names, but the statutes of limitations aren't up yet.
 
2014-02-14 10:52:09 AM  
Were David Duchovny or Anthony Kiedis involved?
 
2014-02-14 11:01:18 AM  
Rainbow parties are fiction. If she's leaving a perfectly colored lipstick ring, she's not doing it right.

/or he -- I don't judge
 
2014-02-14 11:12:48 AM  

poot_rootbeer: Rainbow parties are fiction. If she's leaving a perfectly colored lipstick ring, she's not doing it right.

/or he -- I don't judge


I don't know. Many times in high school, I had girls just LINED UP to blow me. Yeah, that's the ticket....
 
2014-02-14 11:19:26 AM  
Anybody with an honest understanding of Portland and the lack of anything to do except get bored or bombed is not surprised.
 
2014-02-14 11:22:33 AM  
Combustion: Many times in high school, I had girls just LINED UP to blow me.

Standing in front of the band doesn't count.
 
2014-02-14 11:23:17 AM  

Chabash: I bet people in Vancouver are pissed at being called a suburb of Portland...


Yeah, probably.  It's funny, there's a billboard for The Columbian right at the Interstate Bridge that plays into this "we're not Portland" mentality.  It's Portland with higher taxes, more redneck and apparently fueled entirely by Mountain Dew and meth.
 
2014-02-14 11:26:32 AM  

Ficoce: Although a lot of people commute to Portland from Salem, so maybe it's just a matter of time before we get Trimet taxed.


Salem needs a much transit system.  Cherriots suck out loud.

Hell, the Governor wants Washington State to pay for a bridge they don't want and can't understand why they don't

They should.  If not directly, via a toll, because Washingtonians and truckers are basically the only people who use the damn thing with any regular frequency.  I honestly don't have a problem with Glenn L Jackson and Interstate bridges becoming turnpikes.
 
2014-02-14 11:29:30 AM  
Man, I bet those teachers boobs are like great big bags of sand.  Just squeezing those awesome bags of sand...
 
2014-02-14 11:33:22 AM  

Baloo Uriza: Anybody with an honest understanding of Portland and the lack of anything to do except get bored or bombed is not surprised.


Anyone with an honest understanding of Portland would know the city does not lack things to do.

/lived there ten years
//hated it
///but was never bored
 
2014-02-14 11:38:10 AM  
Portland was better when it was "boring".
 
2014-02-14 11:38:26 AM  
Sad?  Where's the awesome tag??
 
2014-02-14 11:48:59 AM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-02-14 11:58:18 AM  

Ficoce: Chabash: I bet people in Vancouver are pissed at being called a suburb of Portland...

Portland itself isn't really all that big, but uses all the surrounding cities as suburbs to increase it's size. Not sure if this is to increase Fed dollars or they just assume everyone around wants to think like they do to support the massive infrastructure. They've probably spent money figuring out ways to annex Astoria, Hood River, and Salem. Although a lot of people commute to Portland from Salem, so maybe it's just a matter of time before we get Trimet taxed.

Hell, the Governor wants Washington State to pay for a bridge they don't want and can't understand why they don't - in fact, he lives and works in Portland when the Capital is in Salem. Taxpayers pay for his pad up there, and the big empty mansion in Salem - even his girlfriend is on the dole. Talk about perks. We should just go to war with Washington and take Vancouver. Or just continue to refer to it as Vancouver, Oregon and send the people income tax bills.


Yeah, too bad the Vancouver people are more pro-gun and usually more aggressive. I don't think the Portland trash can take vancouver.
 
2014-02-14 12:03:31 PM  
I have lived in the Salem-Portland (and now Vancvouver) area for fifteen years. There is a sex shop, porn shop, or strip club on almost every goawdam street corner. Right across the street from a Pentecostal Church usually....

This is one of those places where if you want to do something strange or illicit you can, and usally for ver little or no money. There used to be a place in DOWNTOWN Salem that had a warning on the door saying "ANYONE ENTERING THESE PREMESIS GRANT PERMISSION TO BE FILMED IN LIVE SEX ACTS BY ADMISSION OR ENTRY." Which I took to mean that the bouncer would rape you as soon as you crossed the threshold.

/all these strippers have to get their training somewhere
//nursing school is a biatch to get into these days
/// there might be something to this.....
 
2014-02-14 12:24:00 PM  

Baloo Uriza: Ficoce: Although a lot of people commute to Portland from Salem, so maybe it's just a matter of time before we get Trimet taxed.

Salem needs a much transit system.  Cherriots suck out loud.

Hell, the Governor wants Washington State to pay for a bridge they don't want and can't understand why they don't

They should.  If not directly, via a toll, because Washingtonians and truckers are basically the only people who use the damn thing with any regular frequency.  I honestly don't have a problem with Glenn L Jackson and Interstate bridges becoming turnpikes.


Salem buses suck. For some reason they are stuck thinking they have to have a transit center downtown and detour all over the place. Why? So it can take over an hour to move 3 miles? I pity anyone that needs to go across town. I really tried to get into riding the bus, the bus stop is literally on the sidewalk in front of the house, but it just makes sense to drive; drive 7 min, bike 15 minutes, walk 1 hour, bus 1:18 minutes, (unless I take the bus in front of the house and have to wait another 20 for transfer).

Instead, they should have multiple smaller transit centers in Keizer, S Salem, and on Lancaster. Big buses go non-stop with short buses spreading out from there. Smaller fleet, faster times and the flexibility to change as the city changes. I think one reason they don't do this is because double tax dipping school kids. I pay taxes for school buses and Cherriots, but they make the Cherriots more attractive for the kids to pay to ride. They want a certain amount of ridership, but not too much - have just the right amount of problems to raise bond levels.

Washington looks at Vancouver like we do Medford, small and just far enough away that it doesn't affect the major population centers much - why care? If the federal government hadn't put the interstate highway in, we probably wouldn't even have bridges over the Columbia. Traffic in Portland isn't that bad. The only people that really like to go to Portland are the people that live there - full of sexual degenerates that can tweet a hard on better than most can check their email. Why should people in Ashland, Burns, and Ontario pay for a bridge that helps a small part of the state? Why should I? Last thing we need is a toll here - look at what the lottery did for the state; started only for economic development and now a sin tax to pay for schools, (crap! They're triple tax dipping those school buses!). Our economy hasn't improved with billions in lottery funds - the state doesn't have a good track record, a toll would just be another double dip opportunity.
 
2014-02-14 12:24:16 PM  

scotchlandia: I have lived in the Salem-Portland (and now Vancvouver) area for fifteen years. There is a sex shop, porn shop, or strip club on almost every goawdam street corner. Right across the street from a Pentecostal Church usually....

This is one of those places where if you want to do something strange or illicit you can, and usally for ver little or no money. There used to be a place in DOWNTOWN Salem that had a warning on the door saying "ANYONE ENTERING THESE PREMESIS GRANT PERMISSION TO BE FILMED IN LIVE SEX ACTS BY ADMISSION OR ENTRY." Which I took to mean that the bouncer would rape you as soon as you crossed the threshold.

/all these strippers have to get their training somewhere
//nursing school is a biatch to get into these days
/// there might be something to this.....


Uh...what was the place called?  Y'know, for future travel reference, so I can *cough*avoid it .
 
2014-02-14 12:42:19 PM  

scotchlandia: Ficoce: Chabash: I bet people in Vancouver are pissed at being called a suburb of Portland...

Portland itself isn't really all that big, but uses all the surrounding cities as suburbs to increase it's size. Not sure if this is to increase Fed dollars or they just assume everyone around wants to think like they do to support the massive infrastructure. They've probably spent money figuring out ways to annex Astoria, Hood River, and Salem. Although a lot of people commute to Portland from Salem, so maybe it's just a matter of time before we get Trimet taxed.

Hell, the Governor wants Washington State to pay for a bridge they don't want and can't understand why they don't - in fact, he lives and works in Portland when the Capital is in Salem. Taxpayers pay for his pad up there, and the big empty mansion in Salem - even his girlfriend is on the dole. Talk about perks. We should just go to war with Washington and take Vancouver. Or just continue to refer to it as Vancouver, Oregon and send the people income tax bills.

Yeah, too bad the Vancouver people are more pro-gun and usually more aggressive. I don't think the Portland trash can take vancouver.


I don't know - we could be set up for a really good Oregon Navy on our side.
 
2014-02-14 01:52:43 PM  
s30.postimg.org
i1160.photobucket.com
 
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