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(CNN)   Not to be outdone, a different zoo in Denmark is now saying that they too have a baby giraffe that needs whackin'   (cnn.com) divider line 93
    More: Followup, tall tales, zoos  
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2534 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Feb 2014 at 5:26 AM (40 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-02-14 07:58:39 AM  

zzrhardy: I like how they say they can't let them go to private zoos or collectors because they can't guarantee the animals welfare... as opposed to being fed to a lion and all.


Wait.. you don't understand how a quick, painless death is better than neglect?
 
2014-02-14 08:01:47 AM  

Cerebral Ballsy: zzrhardy: I like how they say they can't let them go to private zoos or collectors because they can't guarantee the animals welfare... as opposed to being fed to a lion and all.

Wait.. you don't understand how a quick, painless death is better than neglect?


Aren't animals naturally "neglected"?
 
2014-02-14 08:05:00 AM  

dangelder: Cerebral Ballsy: zzrhardy: I like how they say they can't let them go to private zoos or collectors because they can't guarantee the animals welfare... as opposed to being fed to a lion and all.

Wait.. you don't understand how a quick, painless death is better than neglect?

Aren't animals naturally "neglected"?


Yes, but not in the back yards of millionaire nutjobs with a Ferris wheel.
 
2014-02-14 08:09:58 AM  
Hanged elephant.jpg
 
2014-02-14 08:12:54 AM  

dangelder: Aren't animals naturally "neglected"?


No. When you're free, you can move to a better location, find your own food, and generally improve your lot with some hard work. Doesn't always work, and you die or get et, but mostly it's how nature do.

But when you're stuck in a cage alone?
 
2014-02-14 08:21:09 AM  

spawn73: gfid: MagicMissile: ( maybe they could just take it back to Africa or wherever its from, and let it go? )

That might make too much sense.  I know sometimes animals born in captivity are not released into the wild because they haven't learned to fend for themselves, but the giraffe probably can raise its head and chew a few leaves.

Yeah, I'm sure it's expensive to own a giraffe.  I bet a kickstarter project to send the giraffe back to Africa would have earned more than enough to cover expenses.

Why don't you start one then?

It hasn't been offed yet.</i>

The first one I heard about is dead.  They even had video of them slicing it up on the news.  The lions ate well that day.  The lions ate well.
<i>

Though you probably need to work out how much it would actually cost.

From Wiki it seems they're not really heard animals, so yeah, if you want to spend a ton of money on sending a giraffe to Africa, vs., something useful. Knock yourself out.


I just heard about this one tonite on fark.    Where to send it is a valid question.  As to whether or not I should be spending my money elsewhere is also a valid question.

One way or another this zoo acquired this giraffe.  They should have thought of this before they needed to kill it.
 
2014-02-14 08:28:37 AM  
Hey, free lion meat.
 
2014-02-14 08:30:26 AM  

spawn73: NickelP: can't they just exchange it for another giraffe to create more dna diversity? i guess space is limited but having 2 giraffes or 3 seems like a minor issue. also wtf are they breeding them if they already have too many?

They do exchange giraffes to create more DNA diversity. Those giraffes are selected for the best diversity, this one is considered less optimal, ie. more inbreed.

They're not breeding giraffes. They're not pandas. If you leave male and female giraffes around each other, they'll breed by themselves.


After pissing on each other and drinking it.  Giraffes are into watersports.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8iHXO87HpQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D8w6AfojrdE

NSFW?
 
2014-02-14 08:48:29 AM  

Blues_X: Can't they just neuter it?


From the summary the idea is to free up space/resources for a 'genetically useful' specimen, as opposed to them breeding.

NickelP: can't they just exchange it for another giraffe to create more dna diversity? i guess space is limited but having 2 giraffes or 3 seems like a minor issue. also wtf are they breeding them if they already have too many?


To have a healthy population you need a mix of ages and genetics.
 
2014-02-14 08:50:04 AM  

Barfmaker: They could make a fortune if they had a high-end chef cook it up and sold tickets.

I wonder if that's illegal?


I was thinking of a lottery where the winner gets to machine gun the giraffe, and then, sell tickets to those who want to be spectators.  It would be a win/win solution.  You know, sometimes I wonder why they haven't put me in charge of stuff.  What a waste.
 
2014-02-14 08:51:16 AM  

gfid: spawn73: gfid: MagicMissile: ( maybe they could just take it back to Africa or wherever its from, and let it go? )

That might make too much sense.  I know sometimes animals born in captivity are not released into the wild because they haven't learned to fend for themselves, but the giraffe probably can raise its head and chew a few leaves.

Yeah, I'm sure it's expensive to own a giraffe.  I bet a kickstarter project to send the giraffe back to Africa would have earned more than enough to cover expenses.

Why don't you start one then?

It hasn't been offed yet.</i>

The first one I heard about is dead.  They even had video of them slicing it up on the news.  The lions ate well that day.  The lions ate well.
<i>

Though you probably need to work out how much it would actually cost.

From Wiki it seems they're not really heard animals, so yeah, if you want to spend a ton of money on sending a giraffe to Africa, vs., something useful. Knock yourself out.

I just heard about this one tonite on fark.    Where to send it is a valid question.  As to whether or not I should be spending my money elsewhere is also a valid question.

One way or another this zoo acquired this giraffe.  They should have thought of this before they needed to kill it.


I heard a guy from a zoo in Miami talk about the first lion chow giraffe and he said what upset him the most was that they knew when it was born that they were going to have to put it down. If that was the case, they should have done it then he said.

He was also a little miffed that there were other zoos who apparently wanted the giraffe.
 
2014-02-14 08:56:55 AM  

NickelP: can't they just exchange it for another giraffe to create more dna diversity? i guess space is limited but having 2 giraffes or 3 seems like a minor issue. also wtf are they breeding them if they already have too many?


Right, call up a zoo in France or something say we'll trade you Marius for Ricky.  I think there should be a giraffe named Ricky.
 
2014-02-14 09:01:49 AM  
So how did they explain it to the kids?  Something tasteful, like, "You don't want a mother farking giraffe?  Do you?"
 
2014-02-14 09:02:05 AM  
splab:Also, didn't NY just talk about killing off some 2000 swans? Where are the riots? That is our farking national bird! We should be declaring war on the US for that!

Swans aren't endangered, and are an invasive species in NY. And since they are bigger than the local water birds competing for the same resources, the populations of these native species are becoming dangerously low while the invasive swans are flourishing.
 
2014-02-14 09:07:49 AM  

Blues_X: Can't they just neuter it?


This
 
2014-02-14 09:09:16 AM  

zimbomba63: Barfmaker: They could make a fortune if they had a high-end chef cook it up and sold tickets.

I wonder if that's illegal?

I was thinking of a lottery where the winner gets to machine gun the giraffe, and then, sell tickets to those who want to be spectators.  It would be a win/win solution.  You know, sometimes I wonder why they haven't put me in charge of stuff.  What a waste.


You and me are gonna go places, kid.
 
2014-02-14 09:19:19 AM  
Solution: don't name your giraffe Marius.

but seriously....
About the "evil zookeepers only let baby animals be born in zoos to get more visitors and sell more cuddly toys" : Animals kept in captivity are bored. No reason (and no possibility) to go hunting, to fight against intruders (the occasional drunken/idiotic visitor aside) or to find new territories. One of the few things that can keep the animals occupied, present challenges and give them something to do is acutally having offspring. Yep, the cuddly/sweet little things are not bred to keep the instagram aaawwww-crowd happy, but to keep their parents busy.

And that means tha at some point you will have to find either a place for the offspring, get rid of the parents or get rid of the offspring. Cruel? Think hard about what is more cruel: a swift, probably painless death or spending time in another zoo or park that would not be allowing you to have offspring either. Boring days of walking up and down the enclosure and waiting for the hay.

We have zoos for good reasons (and some bad ones) and we ought to face the facts and consequences of them being there.

Disclaimer: danish. very animal-friendly. trying not to be animal-stupid. trying to behave and think rationally. Sometimes succeeding.
 
2014-02-14 09:21:35 AM  

HindiDiscoMonster: splab: Disclaimer, I'm danish.

First of all, what is it with these reporters and absolutely ignoring facts? It's about making a healthy population, they need to remove redundant males to avoid inbreeding, the can't exchange these animals, as it is part of the agreement amongst the breeders, who gets what and when.

Regarding the children, while we do have a go at becoming helicopter parents, we are nowhere near the US; we understand that there is education in watching a giraffe (or any other animal) getting dissected, (back when I was in kindergarden we went and watched a hen get its head chopped off and we pulled the feathers afterwards).

Also, didn't NY just talk about killing off some 2000 swans? Where are the riots? That is our farking national bird! We should be declaring war on the US for that!

I notice you ignored the neutering suggestion.


Well I'm all for neutering stupid people, but I do believe neutering such a large part of the US population could have long term adverse effects.
 
2014-02-14 09:22:57 AM  
 
2014-02-14 09:24:16 AM  

bern_viking: Solution: don't name your giraffe Marius.

but seriously....
About the "evil zookeepers only let baby animals be born in zoos to get more visitors and sell more cuddly toys" : Animals kept in captivity are bored. No reason (and no possibility) to go hunting, to fight against intruders (the occasional drunken/idiotic visitor aside) or to find new territories. One of the few things that can keep the animals occupied, present challenges and give them something to do is acutally having offspring. Yep, the cuddly/sweet little things are not bred to keep the instagram aaawwww-crowd happy, but to keep their parents busy.

And that means tha at some point you will have to find either a place for the offspring, get rid of the parents or get rid of the offspring. Cruel? Think hard about what is more cruel: a swift, probably painless death or spending time in another zoo or park that would not be allowing you to have offspring either. Boring days of walking up and down the enclosure and waiting for the hay.

We have zoos for good reasons (and some bad ones) and we ought to face the facts and consequences of them being there.

Disclaimer: danish. very animal-friendly. trying not to be animal-stupid. trying to behave and think rationally. Sometimes succeeding.


Very well put. Let us stop pretending that even the best zoos are good for animals. They may be good for the species as a whole, but not the individual creatures that wile away their days in a fancy display box which is supposedly for educational purposes, but not if those educational purposes dispel the fantasy land myth of what people think zoos are for.
 
2014-02-14 09:26:17 AM  

Joe Peanut: splab:Also, didn't NY just talk about killing off some 2000 swans? Where are the riots? That is our farking national bird! We should be declaring war on the US for that!

Swans aren't endangered, and are an invasive species in NY. And since they are bigger than the local water birds competing for the same resources, the populations of these native species are becoming dangerously low while the invasive swans are flourishing.


So it's ok to control that population, but not the giraffe population in captivity? While giraffes are endangered, having Marius (either of them) around, isn't helping the population, remember, giraffes aren't native to Denmark.
 
2014-02-14 09:41:55 AM  
HindiDiscoMonster:

Is there something you want to share with the group?

Were you raised by a giraffe perhaps?
 
2014-02-14 09:45:29 AM  

splab: Joe Peanut: splab:Also, didn't NY just talk about killing off some 2000 swans? Where are the riots? That is our farking national bird! We should be declaring war on the US for that!

Swans aren't endangered, and are an invasive species in NY. And since they are bigger than the local water birds competing for the same resources, the populations of these native species are becoming dangerously low while the invasive swans are flourishing.

So it's ok to control that population, but not the giraffe population in captivity? While giraffes are endangered, having Marius (either of them) around, isn't helping the population, remember, giraffes aren't native to Denmark.


Are you serious?  Giraffes aren't an invasive species in Denmark, competing and dominating the fight for local resources against local species.  It is a completely different situation.
 
2014-02-14 09:49:19 AM  

mrswood: Marius is such a cute giraffe name I just can't get over it.

I'm not sure what's so entertaining about watching a lion eat dead giraffe parts.

But I change the channel when an animal starts eating another animal on nature shows. It hurts my heart.


It's always disturbing watching real nature in living color.
But only one scene I saw REALLY bothered me to a point that I just couldn't watch.

They are following a pride of lions.  And after many trials, one of the females finally gave birth to 3 male cubs.  Cute, playfull, little dudes.
A few weeks later, a large male decides he wants to kick the old male out, and move in himself.  Of course, his first order of business was to kill all the cubs from the old father.

That was just farked up.  Lions are assholes.
 
2014-02-14 09:51:26 AM  

splab: HindiDiscoMonster: splab: Disclaimer, I'm danish.

First of all, what is it with these reporters and absolutely ignoring facts? It's about making a healthy population, they need to remove redundant males to avoid inbreeding, the can't exchange these animals, as it is part of the agreement amongst the breeders, who gets what and when.

Regarding the children, while we do have a go at becoming helicopter parents, we are nowhere near the US; we understand that there is education in watching a giraffe (or any other animal) getting dissected, (back when I was in kindergarden we went and watched a hen get its head chopped off and we pulled the feathers afterwards).

Also, didn't NY just talk about killing off some 2000 swans? Where are the riots? That is our farking national bird! We should be declaring war on the US for that!

I notice you ignored the neutering suggestion.

Well I'm all for neutering stupid people, but I do believe neutering such a large part of the US population could have long term adverse effects.


North Carolina did this with lazy people without bootstraps.  You want aide for more than X years, NC will either give you a vasectomy or have your tubes tied.  It started sometime in the early 1940s then eugenics became less popular in the US for some reason...

Honestly, logically it makes sense.  It's cold and evil, but it makes sense.
 
2014-02-14 09:54:20 AM  

durbnpoisn: mrswood: Marius is such a cute giraffe name I just can't get over it.

I'm not sure what's so entertaining about watching a lion eat dead giraffe parts.

But I change the channel when an animal starts eating another animal on nature shows. It hurts my heart.

It's always disturbing watching real nature in living color.
But only one scene I saw REALLY bothered me to a point that I just couldn't watch.

They are following a pride of lions.  And after many trials, one of the females finally gave birth to 3 male cubs.  Cute, playfull, little dudes.
A few weeks later, a large male decides he wants to kick the old male out, and move in himself.  Of course, his first order of business was to kill all the cubs from the old father.

That was just farked up.  Lions are assholes.

animals.

FTFY
 
2014-02-14 10:06:59 AM  

Barfmaker: zimbomba63: Barfmaker: They could make a fortune if they had a high-end chef cook it up and sold tickets.

I wonder if that's illegal?

I was thinking of a lottery where the winner gets to machine gun the giraffe, and then, sell tickets to those who want to be spectators.  It would be a win/win solution.  You know, sometimes I wonder why they haven't put me in charge of stuff.  What a waste.

You and me are gonna go places, kid.


I've been told, that we have what it takes to be consultants, but, you would have to quit worrying about the legal/illegal crap.  We would, also, have to wear suits, so I don't know if that's going to be a problem.
 
2014-02-14 10:09:56 AM  

HindiDiscoMonster: Cerebral Ballsy: Blues_X: Can't they just neuter it?

Why neuter it?  They have limited space, they have an overpopulation of giraffes, and they could use the meat for the carnivorous animals.
Also, WGAS what a zoo wants to do with its giraffe.  They're biologists and zoologists, they know what they're doing.  No one complains when pigs are killed for food, why do so many people get in an uproar over a giraffe?  Is it because they're not native to your country?

pigs and cows are bred for food. giraffes are not....
do you usually compare apples and fraggles?


Hey, guess what lions eat?

You guys are short on brain cells and long on emotion.
 
2014-02-14 11:32:08 AM  

lobotomy survivor: Kill millions of livestock for food, nobody panics, because it's all "part of the plan". But when I say that one little giraffe will die, well then everyone loses their minds!


I could get behind that reasoning if giraffes were as ubiquitous as cattle.
 
2014-02-14 11:54:15 AM  

lohphat: lobotomy survivor: Kill millions of livestock for food, nobody panics, because it's all "part of the plan". But when I say that one little giraffe will die, well then everyone loses their minds!

I could get behind that reasoning if giraffes were as ubiquitous as cattle.


What a giraffe might look like as a cow

img.fark.net
 
2014-02-14 12:03:11 PM  

lobotomy survivor: Kill millions of livestock for food, nobody panics, because it's all "part of the plan". But when I say that one little giraffe will die, well then everyone loses their minds!


As someone has said already, I think the optics of the situation could have been better. The announcements of the zoo management have been a little tone-deaf.

Like having pets in captivity, you're making a long-term commitment for their well being. Killing them when it's inconvenient keeping them reflects poor planning and stewardship.
 
2014-02-14 12:21:08 PM  

Joe Peanut: splab: Joe Peanut: splab:Also, didn't NY just talk about killing off some 2000 swans? Where are the riots? That is our farking national bird! We should be declaring war on the US for that!

Swans aren't endangered, and are an invasive species in NY. And since they are bigger than the local water birds competing for the same resources, the populations of these native species are becoming dangerously low while the invasive swans are flourishing.

So it's ok to control that population, but not the giraffe population in captivity? While giraffes are endangered, having Marius (either of them) around, isn't helping the population, remember, giraffes aren't native to Denmark.

Are you serious?  Giraffes aren't an invasive species in Denmark, competing and dominating the fight for local resources against local species.  It is a completely different situation.


Male giraffes fight each other though. You can't have two male giraffes together in a ZOO, because as others have pointed out, the nature of a ZOO is such that they can't really run away.

This second giraffe, also named Marius, is by the way a halfbreed. Whilst their other male giraffe is a pure breed. Thus it's the latter one that will be used for the breeding program.

I still like the idea of starting a kickstarter program for relocating the giraffe. However, I think surplus giraffes should be send to Australia. Australia has before proven to be an awesome place to send random animals too for shiats and giggles (see rabbits and toads).
 
2014-02-14 12:27:55 PM  

feckingmorons: Zoo eugenics. Once we get used to it in zoos we will have to get used to it in people. If you have an ugly baby the government will kill it.

Bit by bit it creeps in until it is accepted.



Don't you mean... ZEUGENICS?

Also:

DENMARK HATES GIRAFFES

 
2014-02-14 12:45:54 PM  
The whole idea of giving a guy a machine gun is too simple.

How about an event where the giraffe is placed in a large caged ring and 6 remote-controlled battle-bots compete for the kill?

Maybe one guy only wearing shorts with a hunting knife, against the baby giraffe who's been armored with plating, spiked horns and hoofs?

So many possibilities for some great PPV....
 
2014-02-14 04:13:11 PM  
The story has turned out to be false btw.

The ZOO released a statement that if they found themselves in the same situation as the ZOO of Copenhagen, they'd have done the same.

They're currently not in the same situation, and have the appropiate number of giraffes. The giraffes they have deemed "worthless" for the breeding program have already been placed in ZOOs not participating in the breeding program.

Of course the usual deaththreats from animal lovers lunatics are pouring in. Everyone is reported to the police. So see how that works out for them.

Even the president of Chechneya has weighed in on the situation. So, dumbass parade all around.
 
2014-02-14 05:36:02 PM  

lobotomy survivor: Kill millions of livestock for food, nobody panics, because it's all "part of the plan". But when I say that one little giraffe will die, well then everyone loses their minds!



I can accept lions eating giraffes in the wild.  But zoos regularly defend themselves from the PETA nut jobs saying they treat animals humanely, blah blah blah.  And I completely digress on the inbreeding subject, because I don't know a damn thing about giraffe inbreeding or its consequences.

But if zoos are going to defend themselves saying they are helping the animals in the name of keeping them or to sell $40 t-shirts, they should be held to a standard that includes the animal's well-being even in situations like this.  Going Sarah Palin and feeding Marius to the lions is not the way to do it in a zoo.
 
2014-02-14 07:32:45 PM  

Harry_Seldon: What I find wrong with this whole fiasco is your can't kill animals you name. This is a giraffe that is part of human society, and signed the pact as part of civilization that he gets to not live without the threat of steak.


My mother enjoyed naming animals that were going to be butchered for food.
 
2014-02-14 08:14:49 PM  

zimbomba63: Barfmaker: zimbomba63: Barfmaker: They could make a fortune if they had a high-end chef cook it up and sold tickets.

I wonder if that's illegal?

I was thinking of a lottery where the winner gets to machine gun the giraffe, and then, sell tickets to those who want to be spectators.  It would be a win/win solution.  You know, sometimes I wonder why they haven't put me in charge of stuff.  What a waste.

You and me are gonna go places, kid.

I've been told, that we have what it takes to be consultants, but, you would have to quit worrying about the legal/illegal crap.  We would, also, have to wear suits, so I don't know if that's going to be a problem.


I'm more than cool with suits baby, my current best one was custom made and cost me 2k a couple of years ago. And I wasn't worrying about the legal/illegal, I was wondering.

Bring on the braised giraffe!!
 
2014-02-14 08:32:41 PM  

Barfmaker: zimbomba63: Barfmaker: zimbomba63: Barfmaker: ...

Bring on the braised giraffe!!


Ooh that's a good angle. Not treating Marius any differently to millions of cows, pigs, chickens, lambs, fish so suck it protestors who aren't hard-core vegetarians. Could be a couple-of-hundred-dollars-a-head fundraiser for the zoo? I reckon the Dutch would go for that based on the number of kids fascinated by the disection. Spit roast?

/It is sad when animals with big eyes die. We had a pet cat put down last week after she developed skin cancer and her nose fell off. She would have been terrible eating so there was no thought, and that's not even just a crap attempt at a pussy eating reference. We did once barbecue a young pet 'chicken' which started crowing in our suburban back yard.
 
2014-02-14 09:42:36 PM  
Normally I'd be pretty pissed about zoos culling animals, but at least it's not going to waste. Lions gotta eat meat. Giraffes aren't endangered, and are basically long-necked deer on stilts. What's the difference between raising a giraffe for slaughter and raising a goat or a cow for slaughter?
 
2014-02-14 10:02:36 PM  

Need_MindBleach: What's the difference between raising a giraffe for slaughter and raising a goat or a cow for slaughter?


Expense.  Goats and cows have been optimized for hundreds of generations to provide meat more efficiently.  Giraffes aren't efficient, they take too long to grow up for the amount of meat provided.
 
2014-02-14 10:10:49 PM  

Need_MindBleach: Normally I'd be pretty pissed about zoos culling animals, but at least it's not going to waste. Lions gotta eat meat. Giraffes aren't endangered, and are basically long-necked deer on stilts. What's the difference between raising a giraffe for slaughter and raising a goat or a cow for slaughter?



His name was Marius, and he trusted his caretakers who lured him to his death by offering him his favorite snack. He thought his family loved him, and he trusted them.
 
2014-02-15 09:48:36 AM  

Harry_Seldon: Need_MindBleach: Normally I'd be pretty pissed about zoos culling animals, but at least it's not going to waste. Lions gotta eat meat. Giraffes aren't endangered, and are basically long-necked deer on stilts. What's the difference between raising a giraffe for slaughter and raising a goat or a cow for slaughter?


His name was Marius, and he trusted his caretakers who lured him to his death by offering him his favorite snack. He thought his family loved him, and he trusted them.


31.media.tumblr.com

/except, you know, the whole being human thing
 
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