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(TwinCities.com)   Fark-ready headline: "Relentless jail-cell farting leads to assault, racial slur"   (twincities.com) divider line 43
    More: Strange, Timothy Lowseth, County detectives, Cass County, assault charges  
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3231 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Feb 2014 at 2:21 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



43 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-02-13 02:25:59 PM  
Yet another reason that I would not do well in prison.
 
2014-02-13 02:26:54 PM  
Racial epithets? In prison? Oh Lord, how have we sunk so low?
 
2014-02-13 02:28:23 PM  
fta;

he told Adan he did not want to fight, and that if Adan wanted to fight, he would have to fight where they were.
Next thing he knew, Lowseth told the detective, he woke up and there were correctional officers all around him


he should have been ready to defend himself.

but he wasn't.
 
2014-02-13 02:28:29 PM  
This is why you don't fart and leave. You fart, and then bask in your pestilence.
 
2014-02-13 02:28:51 PM  
Eh, I fart a LOT, but I'd just start eating meat again if I went to prison. It sounds like this guy was being an asshat and deliberately gassing his attacker though, so my sympathy is quite minimal.
 
2014-02-13 02:31:22 PM  

No Such Agency: Eh, I fart a LOT, but I'd just start eating meat again if I went to prison. It sounds like this guy was being an asshat and deliberately gassing his attacker though, so my sympathy is quite minimal.


it's called doing a drive-by.
 
2014-02-13 02:33:55 PM  
media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com
 
2014-02-13 02:33:55 PM  
I save mine for elevators.
 
2014-02-13 02:34:08 PM  

colon_pow: No Such Agency: Eh, I fart a LOT, but I'd just start eating meat again if I went to prison. It sounds like this guy was being an asshat and deliberately gassing his attacker though, so my sympathy is quite minimal.

it's called doing a drive-by.


"Crop dusting", depending on the range and dispersal patterns.
 
2014-02-13 02:36:08 PM  

Shryke: Racial epithets? In prison? Oh Lord, how have we sunk so low?


Yeah, assault is one thing but for this he should get the death penalty.
 
2014-02-13 02:36:38 PM  

Shryke: Racial epithets? In prison? Oh Lord, how have we sunk so low?


Worse!
Fights!
Fights in prison!!


/too many people on Fark talk about the three hots and a cot and forget that Bubba is already on that cot waiting for you
 
2014-02-13 02:38:15 PM  
Does HOTY have a Fark Ready category? If not, it should.
 
2014-02-13 02:40:02 PM  

Resident Muslim: Shryke: Racial epithets? In prison? Oh Lord, how have we sunk so low?

Worse!
Fights!
Fights in prison!!


/too many people on Fark talk about the three hots and a cot and forget that Bubba is already on that cot waiting for you


They incorrectly assume that the hots are food, and not Bubba's addition to your cot.
 
2014-02-13 02:42:35 PM  

JNowe: Shryke: Racial epithets? In prison? Oh Lord, how have we sunk so low?

Yeah, assault is one thing but for this he should get the death penalty.


Bring back soap in mouth, goddammit!

There, I said it. It felt GREAT.
 
2014-02-13 02:48:52 PM  
No Blazing Saddles scene?
 
2014-02-13 02:48:52 PM  

Shryke: Bring back soap in mouth, goddammit!



Life Buoy...
1.bp.blogspot.com
YUCK.
 
2014-02-13 02:51:01 PM  

Shryke: Racial epithets? In prison? Oh Lord, how have we sunk so low?


Alleged racial slurs, most likely another time someone is accused of it yet never uttered it because it will never be questioned and the other feels its justified in assault.
 
2014-02-13 02:53:42 PM  
I hate that word.
 
2014-02-13 02:55:13 PM  
My cellmates would shiv me by the third night and they'd probably get early release for it.
 
2014-02-13 02:55:21 PM  

colon_pow: No Such Agency: Eh, I fart a LOT, but I'd just start eating meat again if I went to prison. It sounds like this guy was being an asshat and deliberately gassing his attacker though, so my sympathy is quite minimal.

it's called doing a drive-by.


You have the best possible handle for this thread.
 
2014-02-13 02:56:20 PM  

bikerbob59: I hate that word.


How do you feel about "moist"?
 
2014-02-13 03:03:28 PM  
Someone was really butt-hurt.
 
2014-02-13 03:08:46 PM  
According to the article, the 'victim' wasn't even the correct race for the immediate pun/slur/fart joke that came to my mind when I saw the headline.

/starts with a "B" in case you are wondering.
 
2014-02-13 03:09:28 PM  

YixilTesiphon: colon_pow: No Such Agency: Eh, I fart a LOT, but I'd just start eating meat again if I went to prison. It sounds like this guy was being an asshat and deliberately gassing his attacker though, so my sympathy is quite minimal.

it's called doing a drive-by.

You have the best possible handle for this thread.


i hate it.  i was drunk when i chose it.  thinking about making another account with this as my new handle.
The Farker Formerly Known as Colon_Pow
 
2014-02-13 03:11:58 PM  
I would agree that relentless flatulence would warrant a beatdown.
 
2014-02-13 03:13:16 PM  
Maybe he was just flirting...
 
2014-02-13 03:15:45 PM  

Resident Muslim: Shryke: Racial epithets? In prison? Oh Lord, how have we sunk so low?

Worse!
Fights!
Fights in prison!!


/too many people on Fark talk about the three hots and a cot and forget that Bubba is already on that cot waiting for you


Is that not an added bonus?
 
2014-02-13 03:19:42 PM  
OK, I only skimmed the article.  The slur and the farting came from the same guy, the assault from the other.  Headline made it sound like the slur was pointed at the farter.
 
2014-02-13 03:25:11 PM  

telejester: I would agree that relentless flatulence would warrant a beatdown.


Especially flatulence powered by prison food. You know it's probably not exactly high quality vittles, so the..."gaseous eruptions" are possibly quite rank.

/fart thread!
 
2014-02-13 03:46:22 PM  
At least is wasn't projectile butt vomit. The "slur" would've been even more not-niceness.
 
2014-02-13 04:30:49 PM  

hick_town: colon_pow: No Such Agency: Eh, I fart a LOT, but I'd just start eating meat again if I went to prison. It sounds like this guy was being an asshat and deliberately gassing his attacker though, so my sympathy is quite minimal.

it's called doing a drive-by.

"Crop dusting", depending on the range and dispersal patterns.


I believe the appropriate prison lingo is the "gas chamber"
 
2014-02-13 04:57:25 PM  

Craw Fu: hick_town: colon_pow: No Such Agency: Eh, I fart a LOT, but I'd just start eating meat again if I went to prison. It sounds like this guy was being an asshat and deliberately gassing his attacker though, so my sympathy is quite minimal.

it's called doing a drive-by.

"Crop dusting", depending on the range and dispersal patterns.

I believe the appropriate prison lingo is the "gas chamber"


makes sense.  i like it.
 
2014-02-13 04:58:18 PM  
Dutch Oven.
 
2014-02-13 05:17:35 PM  
Somewhere in America, right at this moment, there is a prison inmate listening to his cellmate fart and thinking just how much his life sucks right now.

/did you just fart?
/no, i pooped a little too
 
2014-02-13 05:34:09 PM  

hick_town: colon_pow: No Such Agency: Eh, I fart a LOT, but I'd just start eating meat again if I went to prison. It sounds like this guy was being an asshat and deliberately gassing his attacker though, so my sympathy is quite minimal.

it's called doing a drive-by.

"Crop dusting", depending on the range and dispersal patterns.


One of my favorite hobbies!

CSB

The most memorable occasion took place near the top of an up escalator in a high-price department store.  I left a stinking cloud that lingered at the landing.  I strode off and watched the resulting pileup over my shoulder as people at the top failed their saving throws while the escalator kept depositing more people behind them...

The best part was the middle-aged black lady exclaiming, "Oh my GOD!" just before getting rear-ended by an entire flock of hypoxic teenage girls.

/CSB
 
2014-02-13 06:48:38 PM  

bughunter: hick_town: colon_pow: No Such Agency: Eh, I fart a LOT, but I'd just start eating meat again if I went to prison. It sounds like this guy was being an asshat and deliberately gassing his attacker though, so my sympathy is quite minimal.

it's called doing a drive-by.

"Crop dusting", depending on the range and dispersal patterns.

One of my favorite hobbies!

CSB

The most memorable occasion took place near the top of an up escalator in a high-price department store.  I left a stinking cloud that lingered at the landing.  I strode off and watched the resulting pileup over my shoulder as people at the top failed their saving throws while the escalator kept depositing more people behind them...

The best part was the middle-aged black lady exclaiming, "Oh my GOD!" just before getting rear-ended by an entire flock of hypoxic teenage girls.

/CSB


now that's some good, clean fun right there.
 
2014-02-13 07:05:43 PM  
But is there a Yelp review for it yet?
 
2014-02-13 08:04:18 PM  
Relentless Farting... can't imagine why...

img.fark.net
 
2014-02-13 08:25:16 PM  
bughunter:

CSB

The most memorable occasion took place near the top of an up escalator in a high-price department store.  I left a stinking cloud that lingered at the landing.  I strode off and watched the resulting pileup over my shoulder as people at the top failed their saving throws while the escalator kept depositing more people behind them...

The best part was the middle-aged black lady exclaiming, "Oh my GOD!" just before getting rear-ended by an entire flock of hypoxic teenage girls.

/CSB


ogod

borubon through the nose hurts
 
2014-02-13 08:55:11 PM  
I yell, "Release the caustic vapors!", just before.
 
2014-02-13 11:43:57 PM  
"Relentless Jail Cell Farting?"    C'mon, guys, we're getting the BAND back together!
 
2014-02-14 12:45:23 AM  
relentless.
 
2014-02-14 01:42:52 PM  
Actually the better Fark ready headline was:

"Felonious flatulence fallout: Man knocks out fellow Fargo inmate for passing gas" used by the startribune which I submitted
 
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