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(TwinCities.com)   Why child leashes should be mandatory   (twincities.com) divider line 125
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9193 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Feb 2014 at 3:29 PM (27 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-02-13 03:57:48 PM

Agent Smiths Laugh: cherryl taggart: Prank Call of Cthulhu: Why child leashesparenting should be mandatory

Your kid isn't an animal, don't treat it like one.

You obviously haven't met my kid then.  And besides, the dog listens to commands.

Sounds like you should have stuck with the dog.


I'm going to say dogs behave way better than kids. Why would I say that? THEY DON'T MAKE A SHIAT TON OF BEHAVIOR MEDS FOR DOGS!
 
2014-02-13 03:58:41 PM
25.media.tumblr.com

/this leash demeans us both
 
2014-02-13 03:59:16 PM

llortcM_yllort: umad: Why child leashes breeding licenses should be mandatory.

FTFY subby

How the hell would you even enforce such a thing?  What do you do about accidental pregnancies?


Mandatory reversible sterilization. Want it back? Get a license.
 
2014-02-13 03:59:52 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2014-02-13 04:00:02 PM
How the heck do you let a little one get that far away?
 
2014-02-13 04:00:40 PM

Prank Call of Cthulhu: Why child leashesparenting should be mandatory

Your kid isn't an animal, don't treat it like one.


Technically, your kid is an animal.

We all are.
 
2014-02-13 04:01:02 PM
Try having twins.  They can take off in two separate directions faster than you can react.  You can leave one to go chase the other.

/Leashes my kids occasionally.
 
2014-02-13 04:01:35 PM

llortcM_yllort: umad: Why child leashes breeding licenses should be mandatory.

FTFY subby

How the hell would you even enforce such a thing?  What do you do about accidental pregnancies?


Abortion followed by mandatory sterilization for both parents.

Duh.
 
2014-02-13 04:02:00 PM

umad: llortcM_yllort: umad: Why child leashes breeding licenses should be mandatory.

FTFY subby

How the hell would you even enforce such a thing?  What do you do about accidental pregnancies?

Strictly.

llortcM_yllort: What do you do about accidental pregnancies?

End them.


When you say "strictly enforce" what do you mean?  Even the Chinese have trouble with that part and their government is less free than their western counterparts.  Also, what happens when you don't find out about the pregnancy until after the mother gives birth?
 
2014-02-13 04:02:43 PM

ArcadianRefugee: llortcM_yllort: umad: Why child leashes breeding licenses should be mandatory.

FTFY subby

How the hell would you even enforce such a thing?  What do you do about accidental pregnancies?

Mandatory reversible sterilization. Want it back? Get a license.


Is that even a thing?
 
2014-02-13 04:02:47 PM

zimbomba63: Contrabulous Flabtraption: Child leashes are for parents too stupid or unwilling to parent

Have twins and say that.  When our twins were about 2 1/2, there was a picture in the newspaper of my wife with the twins on leashes, one going north, at full speed, the other headed south.


So, like this?

www.flashbackweekend.com
 
2014-02-13 04:05:57 PM
EvilEgg
Try having twins. They can take off in two separate directions faster than you can react. You can leave one to go chase the other.

/Leashes my kids occasionally.


Get good with a whip or a lasso, Indiana Jones style.
 
2014-02-13 04:06:07 PM

Crass and Jaded Mother Farker: zimbomba63: Contrabulous Flabtraption: Child leashes are for parents too stupid or unwilling to parent

Have twins and say that.  When our twins were about 2 1/2, there was a picture in the newspaper of my wife with the twins on leashes, one going north, at full speed, the other headed south.

So, like this?

[www.flashbackweekend.com image 800x451]


I get the feeling that isn't from one of the videos of tied up girls that I watch five minutes at a time.
 
2014-02-13 04:07:08 PM
The kid's a real pinhead.
 
2014-02-13 04:07:11 PM
Are there really still people who have a problem with child leashes?

Toddlers are the most distractable, self-destructive creatures on earth.  Expecting them to never run off after something shiny/fuzzy and relying solely on discipline to overcome their reflexes is just a ridiculous suicide mission, even for the best parents.

Hell, I want to high five the parents who have the sense to use a leash somewhere like the airport where it's bustling, confusing, loud and the parents are distracted and trying to deal with luggage as well.  They know where the kids are, and that they're safe, without expecting a tiny child to be responsible for itself in a time of extreme stimulation.

It's a hell of a lot better than the parents who strap their kids into a stroller at all times to keep them in line.  Give the kid the chance to run off a little energy.
 
2014-02-13 04:09:19 PM
A genius pre-schooler, way ahead of his time, is reenacting one of his favorite scenes from Deer Hunter...and all of you jerks say he should be on a leash?  I say give that kid a camera and a Kickstarter.
 
2014-02-13 04:10:15 PM

RoxtarRyan: Just having my son being born last week, I should be learning more and more on Fark of what not to do as a parent, but really, most of the parents featured in articles on here just lack common farking sense.


Congrats and Best of luck, sir!

My little girl turns 1 tomorrow.
It's one hell of a fun ride.
Exhausting, but fun ;)
 
2014-02-13 04:11:44 PM
As a kid I was jealous of kids who had a leash instead of always having to hold Mom or Dad's hand. It would have given me more freedom to look around and I wouldn't have had my hand held over my head so much that I lost circulation. Since there were 4 of us kids, Mom and Dad would have had a hand free as well.
 
2014-02-13 04:15:17 PM
I always put my illegitimate children on choker chains. They are PETA approved.
 
2014-02-13 04:19:12 PM

Crass and Jaded Mother Farker: zimbomba63: Contrabulous Flabtraption: Child leashes are for parents too stupid or unwilling to parent

Have twins and say that.  When our twins were about 2 1/2, there was a picture in the newspaper of my wife with the twins on leashes, one going north, at full speed, the other headed south.

So, like this?

[www.flashbackweekend.com image 800x451]


Not exactly, though she probably felt that way sometimes.

That woman in the photo, from the looks of her, that would such a waste.
 
2014-02-13 04:21:51 PM
The other thing about the leashes is, they actually allow the child more freedom than if you are holding the child or maintaining that death grip on their hand.  They can sort of spread out to explore more.
 
2014-02-13 04:21:56 PM
Keep an eye on your kid you asshole.
 
2014-02-13 04:25:22 PM

Fafai: Contrabulous Flabtraption: Child leashes are for parents too stupid or unwilling to parent

Agreed. I'm going to put my kid on a leash and probably stunt his development because some other people can't watch their kids, yeah ok.


My parents used a leash on me, when I was real young.   I was a wanderer, with no fear of being lost.

I remember hiding from my parents, on purpose, in a warehouse store and a department store.

Watching for them to be distracted, just for a second, then disappearing into a clothing display.

I thought it was fun, my parents, did not think it was so fun, hence, the leash
 
2014-02-13 04:26:19 PM
Leashes won't help you train your kids.  That's what the shock collars are for.
 
2014-02-13 04:27:03 PM
This kid only knocked down 8 pins, so the parents were about to send the other kid down to pick up the spare.
 
2014-02-13 04:27:34 PM
After 3 strikes, shiatty parents should be given genital piercings. I am talking "D bolt" and not some little stud.

Then clip the end of the child leash onto the D bolt.

Those kids would be back under control in no time.
 
GBB [TotalFark]
2014-02-13 04:28:35 PM
Actually, the leash would have been a bad idea.  It probably would have gotten caught in the gears and he definitely would have been pulled in before anyone could get down there.

Would have been the same with elevators, or escalators, subway trains.  Pretty much anywhere the end of that leash could get caught ... bumper of a car...
 
2014-02-13 04:32:54 PM
My dog is better behaved than your kids and it's forced to have a leash on. I support leashed children.
 
GBB [TotalFark]
2014-02-13 04:33:39 PM

Prank Call of Cthulhu: Why child leashesparenting should be mandatory

Your kid isn't an animal, don't treat it like one.


Actually, your kid is an animal.  They all are.  WE are all animals.  Once they become civilized, then the leash is no longer necessary.
 
2014-02-13 04:40:11 PM
Never used them with my own kids, but found one handy with the grandsquidlet. In a busy store I could put it on her, and she would hold the leash herself, quite content to walk beside me and not run all over the place. It was an animal backpack gizmo and I think she thought she looked pretty spiffy wearing it.
 
2014-02-13 04:40:55 PM
As a non-parent, can someone tell meat what age does it become unacceptable to duct-tape your kid to a chair?
I mean, suppose you have to go out and just can't afford or find a baby-sitter? Is the duct-tape method really that bad?
 
2014-02-13 04:41:19 PM
I've had an instance where if I didn't yell at a free range girl to stop shrieking no one else would have. I was close to putting up a Craigslist ad, free range children first come first serve.
 
2014-02-13 04:41:46 PM
Meant "tell me at". but the typo was funnier.
 
2014-02-13 04:43:22 PM

Primitive Screwhead: RoxtarRyan: Just having my son being born last week, I should be learning more and more on Fark of what not to do as a parent, but really, most of the parents featured in articles on here just lack common farking sense.

Congrats and Best of luck, sir!

My little girl turns 1 tomorrow.
It's one hell of a fun ride.
Exhausting, but fun ;)


I am massively psyched! Really, I'm in it for the slave labor I will eventually get out of him. :)

img.fark.net

/my friends are calling him "Wee Baby Seamus"
 
2014-02-13 04:44:46 PM

Enuratique: [25.media.tumblr.com image 580x387]

/this leash demeans us both


Was about to post this same pic. Regardless looking for it and leaving satisfied.
 
2014-02-13 04:48:03 PM
Parents should keep an eye on their kids.

It always amazes me when I go to many public places that kids from 2-12 are running around bathshiat crazy and screaming.
 
2014-02-13 04:51:59 PM

StrikitRich: [l2.yimg.com image 720x486]

Phillip?


That's creepy.  I'm a Philip (middle name) who used to wear a hockey helmet and a leash.  I'm surprised I've never heard of this SNL skit.
 
2014-02-13 04:54:35 PM

Barnstormer: As a non-parent, can someone tell meat what age does it become unacceptable to duct-tape your kid to a chair?
I mean, suppose you have to go out and just can't afford or find a baby-sitter? Is the duct-tape method really that bad?


The problem is that leaving anyone tied up like that for hours at a time is a major risk.  If a person can't move and the house catches on fire or some other emergency requires everyone to leave, there would be a high likelihood of the person suffering injury or death.  That's not even getting into the circulation problems that occur when a person can't move for long periods of time.  What you described would almost certainly fall under the umbrella of abuse or neglect.
 
2014-02-13 04:59:50 PM

Crass and Jaded Mother Farker: zimbomba63: Contrabulous Flabtraption: Child leashes are for parents too stupid or unwilling to parent

Have twins and say that.  When our twins were about 2 1/2, there was a picture in the newspaper of my wife with the twins on leashes, one going north, at full speed, the other headed south.

So, like this?

[www.flashbackweekend.com image 800x451]


fap
 
2014-02-13 05:00:23 PM

RoxtarRyan: Just having my son being born last week, I should be learning more and more on Fark of what not to do as a parent, but really, most of the parents featured in articles on here just lack common farking sense.


You just keep telling yourself that....until you pass on you'll worry everyday that tomorrow is the days your snowflake puts you name in the news for all the wrong reasons...my knuckle-kids will never shame me like that.
 
2014-02-13 05:06:31 PM
I have a station wagon. Maybe I could start a kid walking service and start petitioning the city council to build a few off-leash areas to help with socialization.
 
2014-02-13 05:09:01 PM
Before my second kid, I was in the "how about be a parent and watch your kid" crowd.  My second kid...
So what colors do they come in?  Do they make retractable ones so you can give 'em some slack or real 'em back in?  How difficult are they for the kid to take off?
 
2014-02-13 05:14:14 PM
I'm getting a kick out of the condescending "Parents should watch their kids better" comments from folks that don't have kids. I leashed my son occasionally when we were in crowded places, not so I didn't have to watch him, but so he couldn't get very far  if  when he decided to bolt. He's either full throttle or asleep, with no in-between. It's not easy chasing a 3 year old through a busy airport concourse when he's small enough to slip between people much easier than an adult can.
 
2014-02-13 05:16:20 PM

Pincy: Nexzus: Before I had a kid, I would look at parents with their kids on leashes and shake my head, wondering how hard I would be hit if I asked "does he know any tricks"

Now that my little guy is 28 months old, I do have an understanding why a parent would use a child leash. I would never, ever do it, but I do understand.

Sorry, you fail for using "28 months old".  Your kid is two.


This.

/450 months old
//cries into beer
///not really
//snow day slashies
 
2014-02-13 05:20:14 PM
Not sure what the guts of the pin machine look like, but I am guessing they would seriously fuq up that tot. /Pin racker tot
 
2014-02-13 05:28:39 PM
I'd buy a kid leash if it could attach to a surf rod, to "play" the kid.Only 1 issue. Don't have kids, don't care.
 
2014-02-13 05:29:05 PM

Dead for Tax Reasons: i blame old spice

[www.marketmenot.com image 600x600]


Am I the only one that gets a creepy, reverse-Oedipus-complex vibe from those commercials?
 
2014-02-13 05:36:27 PM

llortcM_yllort: Barnstormer: As a non-parent, can someone tell meat what age does it become unacceptable to duct-tape your kid to a chair?
I mean, suppose you have to go out and just can't afford or find a baby-sitter? Is the duct-tape method really that bad?

The problem is that leaving anyone tied up like that for hours at a time is a major risk.  If a person can't move and the house catches on fire or some other emergency requires everyone to leave, there would be a high likelihood of the person suffering injury or death.  That's not even getting into the circulation problems that occur when a person can't move for long periods of time.  What you described would almost certainly fall under the umbrella of abuse or neglect.


You sound like a person knowlegable on BDSM.
 
2014-02-13 05:37:38 PM

cgraves67: If I remember my Freudian psychology correctly, this child will grow up to have an aversion to women with large mouths.


So, no oral from the chick from 4 Non Blondes? I mean seriously, she could fit like 8 dicks in there.
 
2014-02-13 05:39:37 PM

Charmin Mao Tse-Bung: I'm getting a kick out of the condescending "Parents should watch their kids better" comments from folks that don't have kids. I leashed my son occasionally when we were in crowded places, not so I didn't have to watch him, but so he couldn't get very far  if  when he decided to bolt. He's either full throttle or asleep, with no in-between. It's not easy chasing a 3 year old through a busy airport concourse when he's small enough to slip between people much easier than an adult can.


This.

Paying for stuff at the mall requires two hands, thereby releasing child.  The attention you attract by bolting from the register is great.
 
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