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(Concord Monitor)   24-Year-old guy who works at the mall buys alcohol and goes drinking with 13- and 14-year old girls...and looks exactly the way you pictured he would   (concordmonitor.com) divider line 173
    More: Obvious, Concord, teens  
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25328 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Feb 2014 at 9:15 AM (31 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-02-13 08:28:57 AM
It's like he deliberately set out to combine as many stereotypes as possible into one coherent presentation.
 
2014-02-13 08:51:07 AM
Definitely saw the awful mustache.  The comically huge gauges surprised me a bit.

And does he have a tat of the McDonald's arches?
 
2014-02-13 08:53:23 AM
No wonder Beavis and Butthead idolize Todd so.
 
2014-02-13 08:57:17 AM
img.fark.net
 
2014-02-13 09:10:03 AM
I know that some of you that are cooler than me may disagree , but I think those giant plug things in the ears are disgusting. I can't help it, and I admit to judging the person on first sight as a loser.
 
2014-02-13 09:14:16 AM
Douchebag earrings?

blogs.mcall.com
 
2014-02-13 09:14:30 AM

Three Crooked Squirrels: I know that some of you that are cooler than me may disagree , but I think those giant plug things in the ears are disgusting. I can't help it, and I admit to judging the person on first sight as a loser.


Not my taste...that's for sure.

But I've heard they also stink.
 
2014-02-13 09:14:34 AM

Three Crooked Squirrels: I know that some of you that are cooler than me may disagree , but I think those giant plug things in the ears are disgusting. I can't help it, and I admit to judging the person on first sight as a loser.


2.bp.blogspot.com

"I am a valuable member of society" -Said no one with gauges ever
 
2014-02-13 09:17:36 AM

Three Crooked Squirrels: I know that some of you that are cooler than me may disagree , but I think those giant plug things in the ears are disgusting. I can't help it, and I admit to judging the person on first sight as a loser.


/I'm with you there, but i have nothing against the random earring or even a small brow ring.  But if you put dinner plates in your ears, or devils horns under your forehead skin, you're a freak, and up to no good i'd wager.
 
2014-02-13 09:18:34 AM
Oh Christ, that mustache is even better than I pictured.
 
2014-02-13 09:20:24 AM
i2.listal.com
 
2014-02-13 09:20:27 AM
Mustache?

*click*

MUSTACHE!
 
2014-02-13 09:20:45 AM
Ha ha.  He works at the mall.
 
2014-02-13 09:21:00 AM

Bit'O'Gristle: Three Crooked Squirrels: I know that some of you that are cooler than me may disagree , but I think those giant plug things in the ears are disgusting. I can't help it, and I admit to judging the person on first sight as a loser.

/I'm with you there, but i have nothing against the random earring or even a small brow ring.  But if you put dinner plates in your ears, or devils horns under your forehead skin, you're a freak, and up to no good i'd wager.


My fiance watches those MTV true-life shows. One of them was about a guy who got the devil horn forehead implants and massive gauges. He wanted to be unique and controversial.

Then they did a follow-up show and he had a couple kids with his girlfriend and needed a job to provide for them. Turns out he had a really hard time finding a job (or having anyone take him seriously).

He got the horns removed, but the gauges left his ears a flappy mess.

I think he finally got a job at Freebirds or something.
 
2014-02-13 09:21:20 AM

Three Crooked Squirrels: I know that some of you that are cooler than me may disagree , but I think those giant plug things in the ears are disgusting. I can't help it, and I admit to judging the person on first sight as a loser.


Well I'm definitely cooler than you, but I do agree with you.
 
2014-02-13 09:21:44 AM
My daughter was into gauges around age 17. She gave them up at 1/4 inch. Holes did close after a while. Now it's crystals, as in healing powers of. I keep my mouth shut.
 
2014-02-13 09:22:37 AM

Three Crooked Squirrels: I know that some of you that are cooler than me may disagree , but I think those giant plug things in the ears are disgusting. I can't help it, and I admit to judging the person on first sight as a loser.


I used to have my ears gauged, up to 1". That's back when I was playing in bands and going to hardcore/metal shows twice a week. I took them out when I got my first job after college, they've closed up mostly.

That was 10 years go... I honestly thought the trend would have passed by now.
 
2014-02-13 09:23:17 AM

Three Crooked Squirrels: I know that some of you that are cooler than me may disagree , but I think those giant plug things in the ears are disgusting. I can't help it, and I admit to judging the person on first sight as a loser.


When I think of cool, I think of Clint Eastwood characters. If I see somebody doing something a Clint Eastwood character wouldn't do, they're not cool. But then again, using this system no one is cool, not even Clint Eastwood.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2014-02-13 09:23:31 AM
After the mother confronted the man and told him the age of the girls, the police said, the man fled.

No pictures of the girls? I want to know if they looked 16, 18, or 21, depending on what he meant to do with them.
 
2014-02-13 09:25:30 AM
You know, that dude would actually be quite good-looking without the ridiculous earrings - and also without the perv-stache. If he'd get rid of that stupid stuff I'm sure he'd have no trouble at all getting dates with men his own age. Also women too, probably.
 
2014-02-13 09:25:53 AM

Nana's Vibrator: Ha ha.  He works at the mall.


I'm surprised someone hired him.
 
2014-02-13 09:26:14 AM

scottydoesntknow: Three Crooked Squirrels: I know that some of you that are cooler than me may disagree , but I think those giant plug things in the ears are disgusting. I can't help it, and I admit to judging the person on first sight as a loser.

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 153x200]

"I am a valuable member of society" -Said no one with gauges ever


I see that picture and instantly think "I'll bet that guy would make an honest and trustworthy employee. I wonder if he would accept a job offer?"
 
2014-02-13 09:26:35 AM
What the hell would attract a 13 year-old to a dickhead like this?

"... buys alcohol ..."

Ah.  OK.
 
2014-02-13 09:26:57 AM

Three Crooked Squirrels: I know that some of you that are cooler than me may disagree , but I think those giant plug things in the ears are disgusting. I can't help it, and I admit to judging the person on first sight as a loser.


You are not alone
 
2014-02-13 09:27:33 AM
Hm.  I guessed the mustache.  But I missed the boy band hair, tye-dye t-shirt that screams summer camp, possible pretzel neck tat, and gauges that look more like Thin Mints than actual gauges.
 
2014-02-13 09:27:49 AM

mazzz: My daughter was into gauges around age 17. She gave them up at 1/4 inch. Holes did close after a while. Now it's crystals, as in healing powers of. I keep my mouth shut.


I'm sure she'll make some stoned slacker very happy.

/at least if you find yourself hard up for what to get her for Xmas, you can always just throw her a Soundtribe CD
 
2014-02-13 09:27:56 AM
Dad?
 
2014-02-13 09:28:26 AM
img.fark.net
/having the obscurities?
 
2014-02-13 09:29:19 AM
Unless you're the Buddha, your earlobes should not exceed the circumference of the rest of your ear.
 
2014-02-13 09:29:31 AM

scottydoesntknow: Three Crooked Squirrels: I know that some of you that are cooler than me may disagree , but I think those giant plug things in the ears are disgusting. I can't help it, and I admit to judging the person on first sight as a loser.

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 153x200]

"I am a valuable member of society" -Said no one with gauges ever


Damn you! It is too early for something that gross.
 
2014-02-13 09:29:40 AM

Three Crooked Squirrels: I know that some of you that are cooler than me may disagree , but I think those giant plug things in the ears are disgusting. I can't help it, and I admit to judging the person on first sight as a loser.


Came here to say that.   And Ive only seen them on white kids.  Is it some white trash thing?

/get off my laaaaaaawn!
 
2014-02-13 09:29:51 AM
Evil Mackerel

Nana's Vibrator: Ha ha. He works at the mall.


I'm surprised someone hired him.


I see this was covered... that's what I get for doing work in the middle of the thread.
 
2014-02-13 09:29:55 AM

UberDave: [img.fark.net image 212x216]


first thing I thought of, too.
 
2014-02-13 09:30:27 AM

ZAZ: After the mother confronted the man and told him the age of the girls, the police said, the man fled.

No pictures of the girls? I want to know if they looked 16, 18, or 21, depending on what he meant to do with them.


As someone who has been in a 16 who claimed 18 situation, me too. I sent her into the store and she came out with cigarettes so I thought she was old enough.....don't use buying cigarettes as a way to find out a girls age, that is all. (her mom smoked pot with her so no charges were filed)
 
2014-02-13 09:30:51 AM

scottydoesntknow: Bit'O'Gristle: Three Crooked Squirrels: I know that some of you that are cooler than me may disagree , but I think those giant plug things in the ears are disgusting. I can't help it, and I admit to judging the person on first sight as a loser.

/I'm with you there, but i have nothing against the random earring or even a small brow ring.  But if you put dinner plates in your ears, or devils horns under your forehead skin, you're a freak, and up to no good i'd wager.

My fiance watches those MTV true-life shows. One of them was about a guy who got the devil horn forehead implants and massive gauges. He wanted to be unique and controversial.

Then they did a follow-up show and he had a couple kids with his girlfriend and needed a job to provide for them. Turns out he had a really hard time finding a job (or having anyone take him seriously).

He got the horns removed, but the gauges left his ears a flappy mess.

I think he finally got a job at Freebirds or something.


Sad that people are so shallow and judgemental as to judge someone's ability to carry out a job based purely on their physical appearance...
 
2014-02-13 09:31:12 AM

browntimmy: Three Crooked Squirrels: I know that some of you that are cooler than me may disagree , but I think those giant plug things in the ears are disgusting. I can't help it, and I admit to judging the person on first sight as a loser.

When I think of cool, I think of Clint Eastwood characters. If I see somebody doing something a Clint Eastwood character wouldn't do, they're not cool. But then again, using this system no one is cool, not even Clint Eastwood.


Eastwood cool?  I guess.

The King of Cool, (and the Cooler):
3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-02-13 09:32:00 AM
Also, am I the only one who's noticed that th guy is 23, not 24 as the headline here suggests?

Learn to farking read, subby...
 
2014-02-13 09:34:33 AM

Three Crooked Squirrels: I know that some of you that are cooler than me may disagree , but I think those giant plug things in the ears are disgusting. I can't help it, and I admit to judging the person on first sight as a loser.


I doubt I'm cooler than you, but I concur; I have yet to see anyone wearing gauges (I think that's what they're called) whose looks are improved by them.

And there's a guy at a nearby Fedex counter whose plugs apparently blew out, leaving him with gross dangly bits where his lobes used to be.   Head labia aren't really a good look, imho.  Ugh.
 
2014-02-13 09:34:42 AM

browntimmy: Three Crooked Squirrels: I know that some of you that are cooler than me may disagree , but I think those giant plug things in the ears are disgusting. I can't help it, and I admit to judging the person on first sight as a loser.

When I think of cool, I think of Clint Eastwood characters. If I see somebody doing something a Clint Eastwood character wouldn't do, they're not cool. But then again, using this system no one is cool, not even Clint Eastwood.


So, talking to empty chairs is cool?
 
2014-02-13 09:35:11 AM

Three Crooked Squirrels: I know that some of you that are cooler than me may disagree , but I think those giant plug things in the ears are disgusting. I can't help it, and I admit to judging the person on first sight as a loser.


Hey! There are many successful people out there with body mods! Huge plugs, tattooed face and neck, and more! They have six figure salaries! Just so happens they work in IT, located in the basement. Or they are famous tattoo artists. Or they are musicians. Or they are radio DJ's...

/Those guys are tools...
 
2014-02-13 09:37:22 AM

Wizard Drongo: scottydoesntknow: Bit'O'Gristle: Three Crooked Squirrels: I know that some of you that are cooler than me may disagree , but I think those giant plug things in the ears are disgusting. I can't help it, and I admit to judging the person on first sight as a loser.

/I'm with you there, but i have nothing against the random earring or even a small brow ring.  But if you put dinner plates in your ears, or devils horns under your forehead skin, you're a freak, and up to no good i'd wager.

My fiance watches those MTV true-life shows. One of them was about a guy who got the devil horn forehead implants and massive gauges. He wanted to be unique and controversial.

Then they did a follow-up show and he had a couple kids with his girlfriend and needed a job to provide for them. Turns out he had a really hard time finding a job (or having anyone take him seriously).

He got the horns removed, but the gauges left his ears a flappy mess.

I think he finally got a job at Freebirds or something.

Sad that people are so shallow and judgemental as to judge someone's ability to carry out a job based purely on their physical appearance...


It's a pretty good indicator on whether or not that person makes good decisions.
 
2014-02-13 09:38:29 AM
"The bigger the guage, the lower the wage"

Seriously Fark, I'm the first?

(No, I don't necessarily agree with that statement, even though I'm not cool and don't like guages)
 
2014-02-13 09:39:08 AM
If I was to gauge out, I'd use magnets. That way, when I walked my things made of metal, my ears would wave at you.
 
2014-02-13 09:39:20 AM

Evil Mackerel: Nana's Vibrator: Ha ha.  He works at the mall.

I'm surprised someone hired him.


He looks like your local Southern Baptist minister compared to some of the employees I've seen at Hot Topic.

Yeah, I've been to Hot Topic. I have a twenty-year-old daughter I sometimes have to buy gifts for, okay?

I expect she'll outgrow it soon. Her Twilight phase passed quickly enough.
 
2014-02-13 09:39:24 AM
I was picturing shorter hair and visible neck tattoos; the gauged ears threw me. Is it possible that ridiculous gauges are equal to neck tats?

/ ... had the mustache nailed, though.
 
2014-02-13 09:40:21 AM
That picture screams, "I wasn't really looking forward to career better than maintenance man at the mall and I had these way cool plugs just sitting around doing nothing."
 
2014-02-13 09:40:33 AM
img.fark.net
I see High School shop teacher in this mans future. And a career cut short in a tragic band saw accident.
 
2014-02-13 09:42:33 AM
img.fark.net
 
2014-02-13 09:43:23 AM
Is that a McDonalds tattoo on his chest?
 
2014-02-13 09:44:33 AM

menschenfresser: You know, that dude would actually be quite good-looking without the ridiculous earrings


I know.  He even has a bit of a Ryan Gosling thing going.  It's like he's his loser twin from an alternate universe.
 
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