Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Concord Monitor)   24-Year-old guy who works at the mall buys alcohol and goes drinking with 13- and 14-year old girls...and looks exactly the way you pictured he would   (concordmonitor.com) divider line 173
    More: Obvious, Concord, teens  
•       •       •

25353 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Feb 2014 at 9:15 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



173 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Last | Show all
 
2014-02-13 09:45:08 AM  

Random Anonymous Blackmail: Evil Mackerel

Nana's Vibrator: Ha ha. He works at the mall.


I'm surprised someone hired him.


I see this was covered... that's what I get for doing work in the middle of the thread.


Probably works at a Hot Topic or something else equally as lame...
 
2014-02-13 09:46:01 AM  
I worked with an idiot who decided to get gages at a hotel.  He decided he could cover them up with band aids at work.  He used the little orange ones that you use for minor cuts, and his gages had these huge ass studs going through them, but he decided he could just put the bandages over these.  Management took one look at this, and moved him from being a cabana boy, to working in the laundry.  Kid literally went from handing out towels to beautiful women in bikinis (a great job for an 18 year old kid) to having to work in a hot, sweeting, swamp of a place, doing hard physical labor, with co-workers who did not speak English.  When he complained, he was told that as long as he did not present a professional image, he didn't get to work in the front of the house.
 
2014-02-13 09:48:03 AM  

Amish Tech Support: [img.fark.net image 800x600]
I see High School shop teacher in this mans future. And a career cut short in a tragic band saw accident.


That's where he got the gauges.... made them in Wood Shop.
 
2014-02-13 09:49:00 AM  
Ah, the Concord Monitor. A bastion of journalism that doesn't show up on Fark nearly often enough.

/// Lived in Concord from 1990-93. Couldn't get out fast enough.
 
2014-02-13 09:50:41 AM  
Alright, alright, alright

Livin man L-I-V-I-N
 
2014-02-13 09:50:43 AM  
www.ezakwantu.com

img.fark.net

Unimpressed.
 
2014-02-13 09:51:43 AM  

Three Crooked Squirrels: I know that some of you that are cooler than me may disagree , but I think those giant plug things in the ears are disgusting. I can't help it, and I admit to judging the person on first sight as a loser.


I hate them, I think they look terrible. Here's the thing though, unless you are going to die in the next 10 years get ready to see that sort of stuff attached to more and more people who are gainfully employed.  It's no longer universally accepted that you can not hire someone based on their taste in jewelry.  The trend in employment is going against your personal tastes.  The only way this won't happen is if the people wearing that crap realize how terrible it makes them look.
 
2014-02-13 09:53:03 AM  
laid?

/DNRTFA
 
2014-02-13 09:53:17 AM  

kling_klang_bed: [www.ezakwantu.com image 550x352]

Unimpressed.


The first one is actually a bulletproof neck guard. You'll laugh, until someone tries to shoot out your esophagus
 
2014-02-13 09:56:04 AM  
A kid I know showed up with two gold earrings.  He's otherwise a clean-cut young man, but the two-earring look still made him look like a drag queen who has momentarily misplaced his wig.
 
2014-02-13 09:56:10 AM  

mr_fulano: browntimmy: Three Crooked Squirrels: I know that some of you that are cooler than me may disagree , but I think those giant plug things in the ears are disgusting. I can't help it, and I admit to judging the person on first sight as a loser.

When I think of cool, I think of Clint Eastwood characters. If I see somebody doing something a Clint Eastwood character wouldn't do, they're not cool. But then again, using this system no one is cool, not even Clint Eastwood.

So, talking to empty chairs is cool?


Do you happen to be tired or drunk? Notice how I said Clint Eastwood himself wasn't cool? Notice how I said his characters are cool, and that he wasn't playing a character when he was talking to a chair?
 
2014-02-13 09:56:27 AM  

Three Crooked Squirrels: I know that some of you that are cooler than me may disagree , but I think those giant plug things in the ears are disgusting. I can't help it, and I admit to judging the person on first sight as a loser.


I'm a building contractor and every once in a while someone will show up to the site looking for work.  Sometimes they have the pants at half-staff.  I let them know that looking like you're ready to work will go a long way.  I also let them know that if a guy cant keep his pants pulled up, it would likely follow that he's not going to care much about building codes.

They never come back.
 
2014-02-13 09:57:19 AM  

Wizard Drongo: scottydoesntknow: Bit'O'Gristle: Three Crooked Squirrels: I know that some of you that are cooler than me may disagree , but I think those giant plug things in the ears are disgusting. I can't help it, and I admit to judging the person on first sight as a loser.

/I'm with you there, but i have nothing against the random earring or even a small brow ring.  But if you put dinner plates in your ears, or devils horns under your forehead skin, you're a freak, and up to no good i'd wager.

My fiance watches those MTV true-life shows. One of them was about a guy who got the devil horn forehead implants and massive gauges. He wanted to be unique and controversial.

Then they did a follow-up show and he had a couple kids with his girlfriend and needed a job to provide for them. Turns out he had a really hard time finding a job (or having anyone take him seriously).

He got the horns removed, but the gauges left his ears a flappy mess.

I think he finally got a job at Freebirds or something.

Sad that people are so shallow and judgemental as to judge someone's ability to carry out a job based purely on their physical appearance...


The things people intentionally proactively select in the way they physically present themselves are widely perceived to reflect something about them. Oh noes.
 
2014-02-13 09:59:05 AM  
When I was a kid, multiple ear piercings were all the rage. I stopped at 4 when I realized my ear smelled like rotten milk. So when I see someone with plugs, that awful, bottom of the school lunch milk crate, smell is all I can think of.
 
2014-02-13 09:59:40 AM  
Pretty close to what I imagined he'd look like...
img.fark.net
 
m00
2014-02-13 10:00:32 AM  

browntimmy: When I think of cool, I think of Clint Eastwood characters. If I see somebody doing something a Clint Eastwood character wouldn't do, they're not cool. But then again, using this system no one is cool, not even Clint Eastwood.


This is my cool:

youchew.net
 
2014-02-13 10:01:28 AM  

Pocket Ninja: It's like he deliberately set out to combine as many stereotypes as possible into one coherent presentation.


With this, I believe we are approaching the final, comprehensive definition of "douchebag." Well said.

I would only replace "coherent presentation" with "pathetic plea for attention".
 
2014-02-13 10:01:45 AM  

Diogenes: menschenfresser: You know, that dude would actually be quite good-looking without the ridiculous earrings

I know.  He even has a bit of a Ryan Gosling thing going.  It's like he's his loser twin from an alternate universe.


You're so right! :)


...If this kid ever goes to prison, he's gonna be really, um, popular if you know what I mean and I think you do.
 
2014-02-13 10:02:03 AM  

Nogale: Ah, the Concord Monitor. A bastion of journalism that doesn't show up on Fark nearly often enough.

/// Lived in Concord from 1990-93. Couldn't get out fast enough.


Agreed, it ain't no Union Misleader.  Concord does Nashua and Manchester a favor by making them look better in comparison.  Which is a fairly tall order but the capital city steps up to the plate and takes the bean ball for the team every time.
 
2014-02-13 10:03:48 AM  
I'm reading this story while in Concor, NH so.... Getting a kick, yadda, yadda.
 
2014-02-13 10:04:12 AM  

Louisiana_Sitar_Club: [img.fark.net image 800x600]


+1
 
2014-02-13 10:04:44 AM  

Descartes: Douchebag earrings?

[blogs.mcall.com image 320x311]


LOL... Nailed it... even the French judge gives you a 10!
 
2014-02-13 10:05:50 AM  

mazzz: My daughter was into gauges around age 17. She gave them up at 1/4 inch. Holes did close after a while. Now it's crystals, as in healing powers of. I keep my mouth shut.


My nephew tried it for awhile, and he took it slow while he decided if he liked them or not. As a result, his closed as well. Much better approach than the 'Always have a pair of saucers on hand in case an afternoon tea breaks out' look...
 
2014-02-13 10:06:35 AM  

scottydoesntknow: kling_klang_bed: [www.ezakwantu.com image 550x352]

Unimpressed.

The first one is actually a bulletproof neck guard. You'll laugh, until someone tries to shoot out your esophagus


Which, judging by him carrying around a huge farking AK47, I'm guessing is a daily hazard around his area.
 
2014-02-13 10:06:37 AM  
lolsnaps.com
 
2014-02-13 10:06:50 AM  

Diogenes: Three Crooked Squirrels: I know that some of you that are cooler than me may disagree , but I think those giant plug things in the ears are disgusting. I can't help it, and I admit to judging the person on first sight as a loser.

Not my taste...that's for sure.

But I've heard they also stink.

my thing about these gages (gauges?) is, if in the unlikely occurrence that this person makes it to retirement age, how are those giant holes gonna look in hairy saggy old man ears?
/think about it kids, you won't be 18 forever
//take my word for it :(

 
2014-02-13 10:07:18 AM  
I'm reserving judgement until I see the girls... Nowadays, they look 21 at like, well, 21...
 
2014-02-13 10:10:37 AM  

whosits_112: Three Crooked Squirrels: I know that some of you that are cooler than me may disagree , but I think those giant plug things in the ears are disgusting. I can't help it, and I admit to judging the person on first sight as a loser.

Hey! There are many successful people out there with body mods! Huge plugs, tattooed face and neck, and more! They have six figure salaries! Just so happens they work in IT, located in the basement. Or they are famous tattoo artists. Or they are musicians. Or they are radio DJ's...

/Those guys are tools...


i recall seeing a quote from travis barker (drummer for blink 182, boxcar racer, etc., in case kids today don't remember him) where he said he purposely made himself look unpresentable to most employers, so that he'd be that much more motivated to make it in the music biz. worked out pretty good for him.
 
2014-02-13 10:10:45 AM  

scottydoesntknow: Three Crooked Squirrels: I know that some of you that are cooler than me may disagree , but I think those giant plug things in the ears are disgusting. I can't help it, and I admit to judging the person on first sight as a loser.

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 153x200]

"I am a valuable member of society" -Said no one with gauges ever


Be careful.  People get mighty touchy about this stuff.  They defend it to the death saying its the character of their work or work ethic that matters.  Like saying that a fat girl has a nice personality.
 
2014-02-13 10:14:32 AM  

Mikey1969: I'm reserving judgement until I see the girls... Nowadays, they look 21 at like, well, 21...


i'm guessing they were pudgy lil white trash  versions of Mimi from the drew cary show.
 
2014-02-13 10:14:54 AM  

menschenfresser: You know, that dude would actually be quite good-looking without the ridiculous earrings - and also without the perv-stache. If he'd get rid of that stupid stuff I'm sure he'd have no trouble at all getting dates with men his own age. Also women too, probably.


Not sure about that. He looks pretty pervy still
trevostudio.com
 
2014-02-13 10:19:26 AM  

Three Crooked Squirrels: I know that some of you that are cooler than me may disagree , but I think those giant plug things in the ears are disgusting. I can't help it, and I admit to judging the person on first sight as a loser.

 
2014-02-13 10:22:00 AM  

mazzz: My daughter was into gauges around age 17. She gave them up at 1/4 inch. Holes did close after a while. Now it's crystals, as in healing powers of. I keep my mouth shut.


You're a wise man.
 
2014-02-13 10:22:59 AM  

Nana's Vibrator: Ha ha.  He works at the mall.


He must be a janitor.
 
2014-02-13 10:24:29 AM  
img.fark.net

"The wider the gauge, the lower the wage."

-- Wooderson
 
2014-02-13 10:25:24 AM  

UberDave:


Dazed and confused was the first thing i thought of before i even clicked the link and ill be damned if that guys mugshot is spot on (other than the gauges)
 
2014-02-13 10:26:26 AM  
Twenty-four year old guy, who works at the mall, buys alcohol and goes drinking with 13- and 14-year old girls...and looks exactly the way you pictured he would

Nope.  If you had said 'boys' I might would have pictured that
 
2014-02-13 10:26:54 AM  

UberDave: [img.fark.net image 212x216]


I just watched that the weekend before last.  Such a great flick.  Matt M. was such a creepy perv.
 
2014-02-13 10:27:35 AM  

Nogale: Ah, the Concord Monitor. A bastion of journalism that doesn't show up on Fark nearly often enough.

/// Lived in Concord from 1990-93. Couldn't get out fast enough.


I live in Manchester and work in Concord, so I'm getting a kick out of these replies.
 
2014-02-13 10:28:17 AM  

UberDave:


Glad to see this has been covered. He also had Melba Toast.

/love that movie
//love that car
///mcconaughey is way hotter than guy in TFA
 
2014-02-13 10:28:18 AM  

mazzz: My daughter was into gauges around age 17. She gave them up at 1/4 inch. Holes did close after a while. Now it's crystals, as in healing powers of. I keep my mouth shut.


That's a good plan.  She may combine the two interests and you'll end up with a gem shoved in a cavity somewhere.
 
2014-02-13 10:28:38 AM  

Wizard Drongo: scottydoesntknow: Bit'O'Gristle: Three Crooked Squirrels: I know that some of you that are cooler than me may disagree , but I think those giant plug things in the ears are disgusting. I can't help it, and I admit to judging the person on first sight as a loser.

/I'm with you there, but i have nothing against the random earring or even a small brow ring.  But if you put dinner plates in your ears, or devils horns under your forehead skin, you're a freak, and up to no good i'd wager.

My fiance watches those MTV true-life shows. One of them was about a guy who got the devil horn forehead implants and massive gauges. He wanted to be unique and controversial.

Then they did a follow-up show and he had a couple kids with his girlfriend and needed a job to provide for them. Turns out he had a really hard time finding a job (or having anyone take him seriously).

He got the horns removed, but the gauges left his ears a flappy mess.

I think he finally got a job at Freebirds or something.

Sad that people are so shallow and judgemental as to judge someone's ability to carry out a job based purely on

the freakish things they've done to alter their physical appearance...

FTFY
 
2014-02-13 10:29:34 AM  

Agnes Gonxha's Confidant: menschenfresser: You know, that dude would actually be quite good-looking without the ridiculous earrings - and also without the perv-stache. If he'd get rid of that stupid stuff I'm sure he'd have no trouble at all getting dates with men his own age. Also women too, probably.

Not sure about that. He looks pretty pervy still
[trevostudio.com image 400x300]


cdn.ndtv.com
 
2014-02-13 10:30:14 AM  

FlashHarry: [img.fark.net image 265x270]

"The wider the gauge, the lower the wage."

-- Wooderson


haha.
 
2014-02-13 10:31:35 AM  

Wizard Drongo: scottydoesntknow: Bit'O'Gristle: Three Crooked Squirrels: I know that some of you that are cooler than me may disagree , but I think those giant plug things in the ears are disgusting. I can't help it, and I admit to judging the person on first sight as a loser.

/I'm with you there, but i have nothing against the random earring or even a small brow ring.  But if you put dinner plates in your ears, or devils horns under your forehead skin, you're a freak, and up to no good i'd wager.

My fiance watches those MTV true-life shows. One of them was about a guy who got the devil horn forehead implants and massive gauges. He wanted to be unique and controversial.

Then they did a follow-up show and he had a couple kids with his girlfriend and needed a job to provide for them. Turns out he had a really hard time finding a job (or having anyone take him seriously).

He got the horns removed, but the gauges left his ears a flappy mess.

I think he finally got a job at Freebirds or something.

Sad that people are so shallow and judgemental as to judge someone's ability to carry out a job based purely on their physical appearance...


Yeah, sure.  You go ahead and hire one.  I won't be.
 
2014-02-13 10:33:04 AM  

usafdave:


Came for this, am happy with the results.
 
2014-02-13 10:34:45 AM  
I could:
A) Stab something sharp in my ear, have to buy jewelry, worry about maintenance etc,.all for little to no gain
B) Simply not do that

Tough decision.
 
2014-02-13 10:35:55 AM  

Three Crooked Squirrels: I know that some of you that are cooler than me may disagree , but I think those giant plug things in the ears are disgusting. I can't help it, and I admit to judging the person on first sight as a loser.


Yeah, your professions at that point are usually confined to venue bartender or tattoo artist.
 
2014-02-13 10:36:21 AM  
New Hampshire really needs its own tag.

/live free, die, leave a strange-looking corpse
 
2014-02-13 10:37:07 AM  

Danger Mouse: Mikey1969: I'm reserving judgement until I see the girls... Nowadays, they look 21 at like, well, 21...

i'm guessing they were pudgy lil white trash  versions of Mimi from the drew cary show.


LOL...
 
Displayed 50 of 173 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
Advertisement
On Twitter






In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report