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(Concord Monitor)   24-Year-old guy who works at the mall buys alcohol and goes drinking with 13- and 14-year old girls...and looks exactly the way you pictured he would   (concordmonitor.com) divider line 173
    More: Obvious, Concord, teens  
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25328 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Feb 2014 at 9:15 AM (31 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



173 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-02-13 08:28:57 AM
It's like he deliberately set out to combine as many stereotypes as possible into one coherent presentation.
 
2014-02-13 08:51:07 AM
Definitely saw the awful mustache.  The comically huge gauges surprised me a bit.

And does he have a tat of the McDonald's arches?
 
2014-02-13 08:53:23 AM
No wonder Beavis and Butthead idolize Todd so.
 
2014-02-13 08:57:17 AM
img.fark.net
 
2014-02-13 09:10:03 AM
I know that some of you that are cooler than me may disagree , but I think those giant plug things in the ears are disgusting. I can't help it, and I admit to judging the person on first sight as a loser.
 
2014-02-13 09:14:16 AM
Douchebag earrings?

blogs.mcall.com
 
2014-02-13 09:14:30 AM

Three Crooked Squirrels: I know that some of you that are cooler than me may disagree , but I think those giant plug things in the ears are disgusting. I can't help it, and I admit to judging the person on first sight as a loser.


Not my taste...that's for sure.

But I've heard they also stink.
 
2014-02-13 09:14:34 AM

Three Crooked Squirrels: I know that some of you that are cooler than me may disagree , but I think those giant plug things in the ears are disgusting. I can't help it, and I admit to judging the person on first sight as a loser.


2.bp.blogspot.com

"I am a valuable member of society" -Said no one with gauges ever
 
2014-02-13 09:17:36 AM

Three Crooked Squirrels: I know that some of you that are cooler than me may disagree , but I think those giant plug things in the ears are disgusting. I can't help it, and I admit to judging the person on first sight as a loser.


/I'm with you there, but i have nothing against the random earring or even a small brow ring.  But if you put dinner plates in your ears, or devils horns under your forehead skin, you're a freak, and up to no good i'd wager.
 
2014-02-13 09:18:34 AM
Oh Christ, that mustache is even better than I pictured.
 
2014-02-13 09:20:24 AM
i2.listal.com
 
2014-02-13 09:20:27 AM
Mustache?

*click*

MUSTACHE!
 
2014-02-13 09:20:45 AM
Ha ha.  He works at the mall.
 
2014-02-13 09:21:00 AM

Bit'O'Gristle: Three Crooked Squirrels: I know that some of you that are cooler than me may disagree , but I think those giant plug things in the ears are disgusting. I can't help it, and I admit to judging the person on first sight as a loser.

/I'm with you there, but i have nothing against the random earring or even a small brow ring.  But if you put dinner plates in your ears, or devils horns under your forehead skin, you're a freak, and up to no good i'd wager.


My fiance watches those MTV true-life shows. One of them was about a guy who got the devil horn forehead implants and massive gauges. He wanted to be unique and controversial.

Then they did a follow-up show and he had a couple kids with his girlfriend and needed a job to provide for them. Turns out he had a really hard time finding a job (or having anyone take him seriously).

He got the horns removed, but the gauges left his ears a flappy mess.

I think he finally got a job at Freebirds or something.
 
2014-02-13 09:21:20 AM

Three Crooked Squirrels: I know that some of you that are cooler than me may disagree , but I think those giant plug things in the ears are disgusting. I can't help it, and I admit to judging the person on first sight as a loser.


Well I'm definitely cooler than you, but I do agree with you.
 
2014-02-13 09:21:44 AM
My daughter was into gauges around age 17. She gave them up at 1/4 inch. Holes did close after a while. Now it's crystals, as in healing powers of. I keep my mouth shut.
 
2014-02-13 09:22:37 AM

Three Crooked Squirrels: I know that some of you that are cooler than me may disagree , but I think those giant plug things in the ears are disgusting. I can't help it, and I admit to judging the person on first sight as a loser.


I used to have my ears gauged, up to 1". That's back when I was playing in bands and going to hardcore/metal shows twice a week. I took them out when I got my first job after college, they've closed up mostly.

That was 10 years go... I honestly thought the trend would have passed by now.
 
2014-02-13 09:23:17 AM

Three Crooked Squirrels: I know that some of you that are cooler than me may disagree , but I think those giant plug things in the ears are disgusting. I can't help it, and I admit to judging the person on first sight as a loser.


When I think of cool, I think of Clint Eastwood characters. If I see somebody doing something a Clint Eastwood character wouldn't do, they're not cool. But then again, using this system no one is cool, not even Clint Eastwood.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2014-02-13 09:23:31 AM
After the mother confronted the man and told him the age of the girls, the police said, the man fled.

No pictures of the girls? I want to know if they looked 16, 18, or 21, depending on what he meant to do with them.
 
2014-02-13 09:25:30 AM
You know, that dude would actually be quite good-looking without the ridiculous earrings - and also without the perv-stache. If he'd get rid of that stupid stuff I'm sure he'd have no trouble at all getting dates with men his own age. Also women too, probably.
 
2014-02-13 09:25:53 AM

Nana's Vibrator: Ha ha.  He works at the mall.


I'm surprised someone hired him.
 
2014-02-13 09:26:14 AM

scottydoesntknow: Three Crooked Squirrels: I know that some of you that are cooler than me may disagree , but I think those giant plug things in the ears are disgusting. I can't help it, and I admit to judging the person on first sight as a loser.

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 153x200]

"I am a valuable member of society" -Said no one with gauges ever


I see that picture and instantly think "I'll bet that guy would make an honest and trustworthy employee. I wonder if he would accept a job offer?"
 
2014-02-13 09:26:35 AM
What the hell would attract a 13 year-old to a dickhead like this?

"... buys alcohol ..."

Ah.  OK.
 
2014-02-13 09:26:57 AM

Three Crooked Squirrels: I know that some of you that are cooler than me may disagree , but I think those giant plug things in the ears are disgusting. I can't help it, and I admit to judging the person on first sight as a loser.


You are not alone
 
2014-02-13 09:27:33 AM
Hm.  I guessed the mustache.  But I missed the boy band hair, tye-dye t-shirt that screams summer camp, possible pretzel neck tat, and gauges that look more like Thin Mints than actual gauges.
 
2014-02-13 09:27:49 AM

mazzz: My daughter was into gauges around age 17. She gave them up at 1/4 inch. Holes did close after a while. Now it's crystals, as in healing powers of. I keep my mouth shut.


I'm sure she'll make some stoned slacker very happy.

/at least if you find yourself hard up for what to get her for Xmas, you can always just throw her a Soundtribe CD
 
2014-02-13 09:27:56 AM
Dad?
 
2014-02-13 09:28:26 AM
img.fark.net
/having the obscurities?
 
2014-02-13 09:29:19 AM
Unless you're the Buddha, your earlobes should not exceed the circumference of the rest of your ear.
 
2014-02-13 09:29:31 AM

scottydoesntknow: Three Crooked Squirrels: I know that some of you that are cooler than me may disagree , but I think those giant plug things in the ears are disgusting. I can't help it, and I admit to judging the person on first sight as a loser.

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 153x200]

"I am a valuable member of society" -Said no one with gauges ever


Damn you! It is too early for something that gross.
 
2014-02-13 09:29:40 AM

Three Crooked Squirrels: I know that some of you that are cooler than me may disagree , but I think those giant plug things in the ears are disgusting. I can't help it, and I admit to judging the person on first sight as a loser.


Came here to say that.   And Ive only seen them on white kids.  Is it some white trash thing?

/get off my laaaaaaawn!
 
2014-02-13 09:29:51 AM
Evil Mackerel

Nana's Vibrator: Ha ha. He works at the mall.


I'm surprised someone hired him.


I see this was covered... that's what I get for doing work in the middle of the thread.
 
2014-02-13 09:29:55 AM

UberDave: [img.fark.net image 212x216]


first thing I thought of, too.
 
2014-02-13 09:30:27 AM

ZAZ: After the mother confronted the man and told him the age of the girls, the police said, the man fled.

No pictures of the girls? I want to know if they looked 16, 18, or 21, depending on what he meant to do with them.


As someone who has been in a 16 who claimed 18 situation, me too. I sent her into the store and she came out with cigarettes so I thought she was old enough.....don't use buying cigarettes as a way to find out a girls age, that is all. (her mom smoked pot with her so no charges were filed)
 
2014-02-13 09:30:51 AM

scottydoesntknow: Bit'O'Gristle: Three Crooked Squirrels: I know that some of you that are cooler than me may disagree , but I think those giant plug things in the ears are disgusting. I can't help it, and I admit to judging the person on first sight as a loser.

/I'm with you there, but i have nothing against the random earring or even a small brow ring.  But if you put dinner plates in your ears, or devils horns under your forehead skin, you're a freak, and up to no good i'd wager.

My fiance watches those MTV true-life shows. One of them was about a guy who got the devil horn forehead implants and massive gauges. He wanted to be unique and controversial.

Then they did a follow-up show and he had a couple kids with his girlfriend and needed a job to provide for them. Turns out he had a really hard time finding a job (or having anyone take him seriously).

He got the horns removed, but the gauges left his ears a flappy mess.

I think he finally got a job at Freebirds or something.


Sad that people are so shallow and judgemental as to judge someone's ability to carry out a job based purely on their physical appearance...
 
2014-02-13 09:31:12 AM

browntimmy: Three Crooked Squirrels: I know that some of you that are cooler than me may disagree , but I think those giant plug things in the ears are disgusting. I can't help it, and I admit to judging the person on first sight as a loser.

When I think of cool, I think of Clint Eastwood characters. If I see somebody doing something a Clint Eastwood character wouldn't do, they're not cool. But then again, using this system no one is cool, not even Clint Eastwood.


Eastwood cool?  I guess.

The King of Cool, (and the Cooler):
3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-02-13 09:32:00 AM
Also, am I the only one who's noticed that th guy is 23, not 24 as the headline here suggests?

Learn to farking read, subby...
 
2014-02-13 09:34:33 AM

Three Crooked Squirrels: I know that some of you that are cooler than me may disagree , but I think those giant plug things in the ears are disgusting. I can't help it, and I admit to judging the person on first sight as a loser.


I doubt I'm cooler than you, but I concur; I have yet to see anyone wearing gauges (I think that's what they're called) whose looks are improved by them.

And there's a guy at a nearby Fedex counter whose plugs apparently blew out, leaving him with gross dangly bits where his lobes used to be.   Head labia aren't really a good look, imho.  Ugh.
 
2014-02-13 09:34:42 AM

browntimmy: Three Crooked Squirrels: I know that some of you that are cooler than me may disagree , but I think those giant plug things in the ears are disgusting. I can't help it, and I admit to judging the person on first sight as a loser.

When I think of cool, I think of Clint Eastwood characters. If I see somebody doing something a Clint Eastwood character wouldn't do, they're not cool. But then again, using this system no one is cool, not even Clint Eastwood.


So, talking to empty chairs is cool?
 
2014-02-13 09:35:11 AM

Three Crooked Squirrels: I know that some of you that are cooler than me may disagree , but I think those giant plug things in the ears are disgusting. I can't help it, and I admit to judging the person on first sight as a loser.


Hey! There are many successful people out there with body mods! Huge plugs, tattooed face and neck, and more! They have six figure salaries! Just so happens they work in IT, located in the basement. Or they are famous tattoo artists. Or they are musicians. Or they are radio DJ's...

/Those guys are tools...
 
2014-02-13 09:37:22 AM

Wizard Drongo: scottydoesntknow: Bit'O'Gristle: Three Crooked Squirrels: I know that some of you that are cooler than me may disagree , but I think those giant plug things in the ears are disgusting. I can't help it, and I admit to judging the person on first sight as a loser.

/I'm with you there, but i have nothing against the random earring or even a small brow ring.  But if you put dinner plates in your ears, or devils horns under your forehead skin, you're a freak, and up to no good i'd wager.

My fiance watches those MTV true-life shows. One of them was about a guy who got the devil horn forehead implants and massive gauges. He wanted to be unique and controversial.

Then they did a follow-up show and he had a couple kids with his girlfriend and needed a job to provide for them. Turns out he had a really hard time finding a job (or having anyone take him seriously).

He got the horns removed, but the gauges left his ears a flappy mess.

I think he finally got a job at Freebirds or something.

Sad that people are so shallow and judgemental as to judge someone's ability to carry out a job based purely on their physical appearance...


It's a pretty good indicator on whether or not that person makes good decisions.
 
2014-02-13 09:38:29 AM
"The bigger the guage, the lower the wage"

Seriously Fark, I'm the first?

(No, I don't necessarily agree with that statement, even though I'm not cool and don't like guages)
 
2014-02-13 09:39:08 AM
If I was to gauge out, I'd use magnets. That way, when I walked my things made of metal, my ears would wave at you.
 
2014-02-13 09:39:20 AM

Evil Mackerel: Nana's Vibrator: Ha ha.  He works at the mall.

I'm surprised someone hired him.


He looks like your local Southern Baptist minister compared to some of the employees I've seen at Hot Topic.

Yeah, I've been to Hot Topic. I have a twenty-year-old daughter I sometimes have to buy gifts for, okay?

I expect she'll outgrow it soon. Her Twilight phase passed quickly enough.
 
2014-02-13 09:39:24 AM
I was picturing shorter hair and visible neck tattoos; the gauged ears threw me. Is it possible that ridiculous gauges are equal to neck tats?

/ ... had the mustache nailed, though.
 
2014-02-13 09:40:21 AM
That picture screams, "I wasn't really looking forward to career better than maintenance man at the mall and I had these way cool plugs just sitting around doing nothing."
 
2014-02-13 09:40:33 AM
img.fark.net
I see High School shop teacher in this mans future. And a career cut short in a tragic band saw accident.
 
2014-02-13 09:42:33 AM
img.fark.net
 
2014-02-13 09:43:23 AM
Is that a McDonalds tattoo on his chest?
 
2014-02-13 09:44:33 AM

menschenfresser: You know, that dude would actually be quite good-looking without the ridiculous earrings


I know.  He even has a bit of a Ryan Gosling thing going.  It's like he's his loser twin from an alternate universe.
 
2014-02-13 09:45:08 AM

Random Anonymous Blackmail: Evil Mackerel

Nana's Vibrator: Ha ha. He works at the mall.


I'm surprised someone hired him.


I see this was covered... that's what I get for doing work in the middle of the thread.


Probably works at a Hot Topic or something else equally as lame...
 
2014-02-13 09:46:01 AM
I worked with an idiot who decided to get gages at a hotel.  He decided he could cover them up with band aids at work.  He used the little orange ones that you use for minor cuts, and his gages had these huge ass studs going through them, but he decided he could just put the bandages over these.  Management took one look at this, and moved him from being a cabana boy, to working in the laundry.  Kid literally went from handing out towels to beautiful women in bikinis (a great job for an 18 year old kid) to having to work in a hot, sweeting, swamp of a place, doing hard physical labor, with co-workers who did not speak English.  When he complained, he was told that as long as he did not present a professional image, he didn't get to work in the front of the house.
 
2014-02-13 09:48:03 AM

Amish Tech Support: [img.fark.net image 800x600]
I see High School shop teacher in this mans future. And a career cut short in a tragic band saw accident.


That's where he got the gauges.... made them in Wood Shop.
 
2014-02-13 09:49:00 AM
Ah, the Concord Monitor. A bastion of journalism that doesn't show up on Fark nearly often enough.

/// Lived in Concord from 1990-93. Couldn't get out fast enough.
 
2014-02-13 09:50:41 AM
Alright, alright, alright

Livin man L-I-V-I-N
 
2014-02-13 09:50:43 AM
www.ezakwantu.com

img.fark.net

Unimpressed.
 
2014-02-13 09:51:43 AM

Three Crooked Squirrels: I know that some of you that are cooler than me may disagree , but I think those giant plug things in the ears are disgusting. I can't help it, and I admit to judging the person on first sight as a loser.


I hate them, I think they look terrible. Here's the thing though, unless you are going to die in the next 10 years get ready to see that sort of stuff attached to more and more people who are gainfully employed.  It's no longer universally accepted that you can not hire someone based on their taste in jewelry.  The trend in employment is going against your personal tastes.  The only way this won't happen is if the people wearing that crap realize how terrible it makes them look.
 
2014-02-13 09:53:03 AM
laid?

/DNRTFA
 
2014-02-13 09:53:17 AM

kling_klang_bed: [www.ezakwantu.com image 550x352]

Unimpressed.


The first one is actually a bulletproof neck guard. You'll laugh, until someone tries to shoot out your esophagus
 
2014-02-13 09:56:04 AM
A kid I know showed up with two gold earrings.  He's otherwise a clean-cut young man, but the two-earring look still made him look like a drag queen who has momentarily misplaced his wig.
 
2014-02-13 09:56:10 AM

mr_fulano: browntimmy: Three Crooked Squirrels: I know that some of you that are cooler than me may disagree , but I think those giant plug things in the ears are disgusting. I can't help it, and I admit to judging the person on first sight as a loser.

When I think of cool, I think of Clint Eastwood characters. If I see somebody doing something a Clint Eastwood character wouldn't do, they're not cool. But then again, using this system no one is cool, not even Clint Eastwood.

So, talking to empty chairs is cool?


Do you happen to be tired or drunk? Notice how I said Clint Eastwood himself wasn't cool? Notice how I said his characters are cool, and that he wasn't playing a character when he was talking to a chair?
 
2014-02-13 09:56:27 AM

Three Crooked Squirrels: I know that some of you that are cooler than me may disagree , but I think those giant plug things in the ears are disgusting. I can't help it, and I admit to judging the person on first sight as a loser.


I'm a building contractor and every once in a while someone will show up to the site looking for work.  Sometimes they have the pants at half-staff.  I let them know that looking like you're ready to work will go a long way.  I also let them know that if a guy cant keep his pants pulled up, it would likely follow that he's not going to care much about building codes.

They never come back.
 
2014-02-13 09:57:19 AM

Wizard Drongo: scottydoesntknow: Bit'O'Gristle: Three Crooked Squirrels: I know that some of you that are cooler than me may disagree , but I think those giant plug things in the ears are disgusting. I can't help it, and I admit to judging the person on first sight as a loser.

/I'm with you there, but i have nothing against the random earring or even a small brow ring.  But if you put dinner plates in your ears, or devils horns under your forehead skin, you're a freak, and up to no good i'd wager.

My fiance watches those MTV true-life shows. One of them was about a guy who got the devil horn forehead implants and massive gauges. He wanted to be unique and controversial.

Then they did a follow-up show and he had a couple kids with his girlfriend and needed a job to provide for them. Turns out he had a really hard time finding a job (or having anyone take him seriously).

He got the horns removed, but the gauges left his ears a flappy mess.

I think he finally got a job at Freebirds or something.

Sad that people are so shallow and judgemental as to judge someone's ability to carry out a job based purely on their physical appearance...


The things people intentionally proactively select in the way they physically present themselves are widely perceived to reflect something about them. Oh noes.
 
2014-02-13 09:59:05 AM
When I was a kid, multiple ear piercings were all the rage. I stopped at 4 when I realized my ear smelled like rotten milk. So when I see someone with plugs, that awful, bottom of the school lunch milk crate, smell is all I can think of.
 
2014-02-13 09:59:40 AM
Pretty close to what I imagined he'd look like...
img.fark.net
 
m00
2014-02-13 10:00:32 AM

browntimmy: When I think of cool, I think of Clint Eastwood characters. If I see somebody doing something a Clint Eastwood character wouldn't do, they're not cool. But then again, using this system no one is cool, not even Clint Eastwood.


This is my cool:

youchew.net
 
2014-02-13 10:01:28 AM

Pocket Ninja: It's like he deliberately set out to combine as many stereotypes as possible into one coherent presentation.


With this, I believe we are approaching the final, comprehensive definition of "douchebag." Well said.

I would only replace "coherent presentation" with "pathetic plea for attention".
 
2014-02-13 10:01:45 AM

Diogenes: menschenfresser: You know, that dude would actually be quite good-looking without the ridiculous earrings

I know.  He even has a bit of a Ryan Gosling thing going.  It's like he's his loser twin from an alternate universe.


You're so right! :)


...If this kid ever goes to prison, he's gonna be really, um, popular if you know what I mean and I think you do.
 
2014-02-13 10:02:03 AM

Nogale: Ah, the Concord Monitor. A bastion of journalism that doesn't show up on Fark nearly often enough.

/// Lived in Concord from 1990-93. Couldn't get out fast enough.


Agreed, it ain't no Union Misleader.  Concord does Nashua and Manchester a favor by making them look better in comparison.  Which is a fairly tall order but the capital city steps up to the plate and takes the bean ball for the team every time.
 
2014-02-13 10:03:48 AM
I'm reading this story while in Concor, NH so.... Getting a kick, yadda, yadda.
 
2014-02-13 10:04:12 AM

Louisiana_Sitar_Club: [img.fark.net image 800x600]


+1
 
2014-02-13 10:04:44 AM

Descartes: Douchebag earrings?

[blogs.mcall.com image 320x311]


LOL... Nailed it... even the French judge gives you a 10!
 
2014-02-13 10:05:50 AM

mazzz: My daughter was into gauges around age 17. She gave them up at 1/4 inch. Holes did close after a while. Now it's crystals, as in healing powers of. I keep my mouth shut.


My nephew tried it for awhile, and he took it slow while he decided if he liked them or not. As a result, his closed as well. Much better approach than the 'Always have a pair of saucers on hand in case an afternoon tea breaks out' look...
 
2014-02-13 10:06:35 AM

scottydoesntknow: kling_klang_bed: [www.ezakwantu.com image 550x352]

Unimpressed.

The first one is actually a bulletproof neck guard. You'll laugh, until someone tries to shoot out your esophagus


Which, judging by him carrying around a huge farking AK47, I'm guessing is a daily hazard around his area.
 
2014-02-13 10:06:37 AM
lolsnaps.com
 
2014-02-13 10:06:50 AM

Diogenes: Three Crooked Squirrels: I know that some of you that are cooler than me may disagree , but I think those giant plug things in the ears are disgusting. I can't help it, and I admit to judging the person on first sight as a loser.

Not my taste...that's for sure.

But I've heard they also stink.

my thing about these gages (gauges?) is, if in the unlikely occurrence that this person makes it to retirement age, how are those giant holes gonna look in hairy saggy old man ears?
/think about it kids, you won't be 18 forever
//take my word for it :(

 
2014-02-13 10:07:18 AM
I'm reserving judgement until I see the girls... Nowadays, they look 21 at like, well, 21...
 
2014-02-13 10:10:37 AM

whosits_112: Three Crooked Squirrels: I know that some of you that are cooler than me may disagree , but I think those giant plug things in the ears are disgusting. I can't help it, and I admit to judging the person on first sight as a loser.

Hey! There are many successful people out there with body mods! Huge plugs, tattooed face and neck, and more! They have six figure salaries! Just so happens they work in IT, located in the basement. Or they are famous tattoo artists. Or they are musicians. Or they are radio DJ's...

/Those guys are tools...


i recall seeing a quote from travis barker (drummer for blink 182, boxcar racer, etc., in case kids today don't remember him) where he said he purposely made himself look unpresentable to most employers, so that he'd be that much more motivated to make it in the music biz. worked out pretty good for him.
 
2014-02-13 10:10:45 AM

scottydoesntknow: Three Crooked Squirrels: I know that some of you that are cooler than me may disagree , but I think those giant plug things in the ears are disgusting. I can't help it, and I admit to judging the person on first sight as a loser.

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 153x200]

"I am a valuable member of society" -Said no one with gauges ever


Be careful.  People get mighty touchy about this stuff.  They defend it to the death saying its the character of their work or work ethic that matters.  Like saying that a fat girl has a nice personality.
 
2014-02-13 10:14:32 AM

Mikey1969: I'm reserving judgement until I see the girls... Nowadays, they look 21 at like, well, 21...


i'm guessing they were pudgy lil white trash  versions of Mimi from the drew cary show.
 
2014-02-13 10:14:54 AM

menschenfresser: You know, that dude would actually be quite good-looking without the ridiculous earrings - and also without the perv-stache. If he'd get rid of that stupid stuff I'm sure he'd have no trouble at all getting dates with men his own age. Also women too, probably.


Not sure about that. He looks pretty pervy still
trevostudio.com
 
2014-02-13 10:19:26 AM

Three Crooked Squirrels: I know that some of you that are cooler than me may disagree , but I think those giant plug things in the ears are disgusting. I can't help it, and I admit to judging the person on first sight as a loser.

 
2014-02-13 10:22:00 AM

mazzz: My daughter was into gauges around age 17. She gave them up at 1/4 inch. Holes did close after a while. Now it's crystals, as in healing powers of. I keep my mouth shut.


You're a wise man.
 
2014-02-13 10:22:59 AM

Nana's Vibrator: Ha ha.  He works at the mall.


He must be a janitor.
 
2014-02-13 10:24:29 AM
img.fark.net

"The wider the gauge, the lower the wage."

-- Wooderson
 
2014-02-13 10:25:24 AM

UberDave:


Dazed and confused was the first thing i thought of before i even clicked the link and ill be damned if that guys mugshot is spot on (other than the gauges)
 
2014-02-13 10:26:26 AM
Twenty-four year old guy, who works at the mall, buys alcohol and goes drinking with 13- and 14-year old girls...and looks exactly the way you pictured he would

Nope.  If you had said 'boys' I might would have pictured that
 
2014-02-13 10:26:54 AM

UberDave: [img.fark.net image 212x216]


I just watched that the weekend before last.  Such a great flick.  Matt M. was such a creepy perv.
 
2014-02-13 10:27:35 AM

Nogale: Ah, the Concord Monitor. A bastion of journalism that doesn't show up on Fark nearly often enough.

/// Lived in Concord from 1990-93. Couldn't get out fast enough.


I live in Manchester and work in Concord, so I'm getting a kick out of these replies.
 
2014-02-13 10:28:17 AM

UberDave:


Glad to see this has been covered. He also had Melba Toast.

/love that movie
//love that car
///mcconaughey is way hotter than guy in TFA
 
2014-02-13 10:28:18 AM

mazzz: My daughter was into gauges around age 17. She gave them up at 1/4 inch. Holes did close after a while. Now it's crystals, as in healing powers of. I keep my mouth shut.


That's a good plan.  She may combine the two interests and you'll end up with a gem shoved in a cavity somewhere.
 
2014-02-13 10:28:38 AM

Wizard Drongo: scottydoesntknow: Bit'O'Gristle: Three Crooked Squirrels: I know that some of you that are cooler than me may disagree , but I think those giant plug things in the ears are disgusting. I can't help it, and I admit to judging the person on first sight as a loser.

/I'm with you there, but i have nothing against the random earring or even a small brow ring.  But if you put dinner plates in your ears, or devils horns under your forehead skin, you're a freak, and up to no good i'd wager.

My fiance watches those MTV true-life shows. One of them was about a guy who got the devil horn forehead implants and massive gauges. He wanted to be unique and controversial.

Then they did a follow-up show and he had a couple kids with his girlfriend and needed a job to provide for them. Turns out he had a really hard time finding a job (or having anyone take him seriously).

He got the horns removed, but the gauges left his ears a flappy mess.

I think he finally got a job at Freebirds or something.

Sad that people are so shallow and judgemental as to judge someone's ability to carry out a job based purely on

the freakish things they've done to alter their physical appearance...

FTFY
 
2014-02-13 10:29:34 AM

Agnes Gonxha's Confidant: menschenfresser: You know, that dude would actually be quite good-looking without the ridiculous earrings - and also without the perv-stache. If he'd get rid of that stupid stuff I'm sure he'd have no trouble at all getting dates with men his own age. Also women too, probably.

Not sure about that. He looks pretty pervy still
[trevostudio.com image 400x300]


cdn.ndtv.com
 
2014-02-13 10:30:14 AM

FlashHarry: [img.fark.net image 265x270]

"The wider the gauge, the lower the wage."

-- Wooderson


haha.
 
2014-02-13 10:31:35 AM

Wizard Drongo: scottydoesntknow: Bit'O'Gristle: Three Crooked Squirrels: I know that some of you that are cooler than me may disagree , but I think those giant plug things in the ears are disgusting. I can't help it, and I admit to judging the person on first sight as a loser.

/I'm with you there, but i have nothing against the random earring or even a small brow ring.  But if you put dinner plates in your ears, or devils horns under your forehead skin, you're a freak, and up to no good i'd wager.

My fiance watches those MTV true-life shows. One of them was about a guy who got the devil horn forehead implants and massive gauges. He wanted to be unique and controversial.

Then they did a follow-up show and he had a couple kids with his girlfriend and needed a job to provide for them. Turns out he had a really hard time finding a job (or having anyone take him seriously).

He got the horns removed, but the gauges left his ears a flappy mess.

I think he finally got a job at Freebirds or something.

Sad that people are so shallow and judgemental as to judge someone's ability to carry out a job based purely on their physical appearance...


Yeah, sure.  You go ahead and hire one.  I won't be.
 
2014-02-13 10:33:04 AM

usafdave:


Came for this, am happy with the results.
 
2014-02-13 10:34:45 AM
I could:
A) Stab something sharp in my ear, have to buy jewelry, worry about maintenance etc,.all for little to no gain
B) Simply not do that

Tough decision.
 
2014-02-13 10:35:55 AM

Three Crooked Squirrels: I know that some of you that are cooler than me may disagree , but I think those giant plug things in the ears are disgusting. I can't help it, and I admit to judging the person on first sight as a loser.


Yeah, your professions at that point are usually confined to venue bartender or tattoo artist.
 
2014-02-13 10:36:21 AM
New Hampshire really needs its own tag.

/live free, die, leave a strange-looking corpse
 
2014-02-13 10:37:07 AM

Danger Mouse: Mikey1969: I'm reserving judgement until I see the girls... Nowadays, they look 21 at like, well, 21...

i'm guessing they were pudgy lil white trash  versions of Mimi from the drew cary show.


LOL...
 
2014-02-13 10:38:56 AM

FlashHarry: [img.fark.net image 265x270]

"The wider the gauge, the lower the wage."

-- Wooderson


It's been snowing and I started watching that detective show MM is in.  I keep saying "I got a lack of traction and a need for action" when people tell me to drive safe.
 
2014-02-13 10:40:56 AM

Three Crooked Squirrels: I know that some of you that are cooler than me may disagree , but I think those giant plug things in the ears are disgusting. I can't help it, and I admit to judging the person on first sight as a loser.


Don't worry. We all make that same judgement.
 
2014-02-13 10:41:11 AM

browntimmy: I could:
A) Stab something sharp in my ear, have to buy jewelry, worry about maintenance etc,.all for little to no gain
B) Simply not do that

Tough decision.


The decision is probably a little tougher for people who are desperately insecure and need constant attention.
 
2014-02-13 10:41:37 AM

mike_d85: FlashHarry: [img.fark.net image 265x270]

"The wider the gauge, the lower the wage."

-- Wooderson

It's been snowing and I started watching that detective show MM is in.  I keep saying "I got a lack of traction and a need for action" when people tell me to drive safe.


I've been saying "racing to a red light" a lot myself...
 
2014-02-13 10:46:22 AM

Pocket Ninja: It's like he deliberately set out to combine as many stereotypes as possible into one coherent presentation.


You call that "coherent"?

I just got here, and I'm looking forward to this thread already.
 
2014-02-13 10:55:49 AM

Point02GPA: If I was to gauge out, I'd use magnets. That way, when I walked my things made of metal, my ears would wave at you.


Are you Mitch Hedberg? I would be so happy if you didn't die.
 
2014-02-13 10:56:41 AM

Agnes Gonxha's Confidant: menschenfresser: You know, that dude would actually be quite good-looking without the ridiculous earrings - and also without the perv-stache. If he'd get rid of that stupid stuff I'm sure he'd have no trouble at all getting dates with men his own age. Also women too, probably.

Not sure about that. He looks pretty pervy still
[trevostudio.com image 400x300]


I dunno. If some random dude (who isn't this weirdo) who looks like the cleaned-up version you made there asked me out, I'd certainly go on a date.
 
2014-02-13 10:58:44 AM

Agnes Gonxha's Confidant: menschenfresser: You know, that dude would actually be quite good-looking without the ridiculous earrings - and also without the perv-stache. If he'd get rid of that stupid stuff I'm sure he'd have no trouble at all getting dates with men his own age. Also women too, probably.

Not sure about that. He looks pretty pervy still


That's some good work!

Had I not seen the original pic I would have assumed the mustache/gauge/tie die was the shopped part.
 
2014-02-13 10:59:27 AM

browntimmy: Three Crooked Squirrels: I know that some of you that are cooler than me may disagree , but I think those giant plug things in the ears are disgusting. I can't help it, and I admit to judging the person on first sight as a loser.

When I think of cool, I think of Clint Eastwood characters. If I see somebody doing something a Clint Eastwood character wouldn't do, they're not cool. But then again, using this system no one is cool, not even Clint Eastwood.


That's long been my standard of cool as well. Nothing cooler than a man with no name.
 
2014-02-13 11:02:13 AM
If I were King and not a simple Duke, I would decree it would be death to look like that little twerp.
No odd ear devices not tattoos on the face or head. All hipsters would have to register to make it simple to send them al to Canada. What do I have against Canada? Justin Bieber.
 
2014-02-13 11:02:20 AM
Look I'm all for not judging a person by their looks, but its hard not to judge what you've done to yourself and imagine what you'd do to my business if I hired you.
 
2014-02-13 11:05:02 AM

Danger Mouse: Mikey1969: I'm reserving judgement until I see the girls... Nowadays, they look 21 at like, well, 21...

i'm guessing they were pudgy lil white trash  versions of Mimi from the drew cary show.


img.fark.net
 
2014-02-13 11:06:43 AM
www.concordmonitor.com

2.bp.blogspot.com
farm2.staticflickr.com
 
2014-02-13 11:07:04 AM
www.i-mockery.com
 
2014-02-13 11:08:19 AM

MayoSlather: That's long been my standard of cool as well. Nothing cooler than a man with no name.


img.fark.net
 
2014-02-13 11:09:05 AM

Mell of a Hess: What the hell would attract a 13 year-old to a dickhead like this?

"... buys alcohol ..."

Ah.  OK.


"Attract" might be the wrong word here. 13-year-olds make very bad life decisions, but virtually none of them would be  attracted to a guy like this, no matter how many wine coolers he bought them. Sure, they might have a crush on a 20-something guy, but crushes are for men who are completely oblivious to your existence, not the ones who are buying you booze and inviting you into their basement apartments. I'm guessing when the police asked the girls if he'd ever laid a hand on them (which must have been the subject of the first 500 questions), they burst out laughing at the idea that they'd ever let someone this gross and perverted get anywhere with them. That's perfect 13-year-old logic.

This kind of 23-year-old ultra-douche doesn't start looking attractive in the traditional sense of the word until you're about 17, when your parents' reaction goes from the mortifying "my baby! my precious innocent baby!" to the far more gratifying "you stay away from him, you little slut."
 
2014-02-13 11:11:59 AM
Nicholas Cage.....  Raising Arizona.  It was the first I thought of from looking at the pic!
 
2014-02-13 11:13:37 AM

Things one might say to this guy:

i478.photobucket.com



"The job pays $13/Hour. You can start Monday if that works for you."

Or

"Yes I would like to hear the specials. This is a classy joint so we don't come here that often".


Things one might say to this guy:


i478.photobucket.com



"It was nice meeting you. We'll be in touch. Good luck."


"No I do not have any extra change"


"No thank you. I don't feel the need to purchase shrooms from you"
 
2014-02-13 11:14:32 AM

Wizard Drongo: scottydoesntknow: Bit'O'Gristle: Three Crooked Squirrels: I know that some of you that are cooler than me may disagree , but I think those giant plug things in the ears are disgusting. I can't help it, and I admit to judging the person on first sight as a loser.

/I'm with you there, but i have nothing against the random earring or even a small brow ring.  But if you put dinner plates in your ears, or devils horns under your forehead skin, you're a freak, and up to no good i'd wager.

My fiance watches those MTV true-life shows. One of them was about a guy who got the devil horn forehead implants and massive gauges. He wanted to be unique and controversial.

Then they did a follow-up show and he had a couple kids with his girlfriend and needed a job to provide for them. Turns out he had a really hard time finding a job (or having anyone take him seriously).

He got the horns removed, but the gauges left his ears a flappy mess.

I think he finally got a job at Freebirds or something.

Sad that people are so shallow and judgemental as to judge someone's ability to carry out a job based purely on their physical appearance...


Sad, but it's reality. As this guy has learned, don't fark yourself up in a major way hoping that the world will accept you as the trailblazing individual that you are, because the world probably doesn't appreciate your special brand of "uniqueness" the way you do. And if your brand of individuality makes you look like an idiot (which it surely does) then don't be surprised that finding jobs outside of the Idiot Accessory Dispensary is a challenge.
 
2014-02-13 11:17:11 AM
Dazed and Confused was my first exposure to Matthew McCantspellhisname and I was so thoroughly creeped out by his character that I had no idea he played him for years.
 
2014-02-13 11:18:53 AM

Duke_leto_Atredes: If I were King and not a simple Duke, I would decree it would be death to look like that little twerp.
No odd ear devices not tattoos on the face or head. All hipsters would have to register to make it simple to send them al to Canada. What do I have against Canada? Justin Bieber.


Celine Dion
i1.ytimg.com

The Canadian Government has already apologized for Brian Adams on several occasions!
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-02-13 11:22:32 AM
I was expecting this guy:

c0717682.cdn.cloudfiles.rackspacecloud.com

/pretty close
//pedo like that guy you know
 
2014-02-13 11:25:28 AM
img.fark.net

i2.listal.com
 
2014-02-13 11:26:38 AM

Englebert Slaptyback: [img.fark.net image 400x300]

[i2.listal.com image 320x240]


i like how his shadow disappears in the "clean" version
 
2014-02-13 11:35:52 AM

bungle_jr: Englebert Slaptyback: [img.fark.net image 400x300]

[i2.listal.com image 320x240]

i like how his shadow disappears in the "clean" version


Vampire.
 
2014-02-13 11:46:41 AM
No one else sees James Franco with a molestache?

So was the 14 year old hot? I'm not going to ask about the 13 year old because that would be wrong.
 
2014-02-13 11:47:46 AM

Wizard Drongo: scottydoesntknow: Bit'O'Gristle: Three Crooked Squirrels: I know that some of you that are cooler than me may disagree , but I think those giant plug things in the ears are disgusting. I can't help it, and I admit to judging the person on first sight as a loser.

/I'm with you there, but i have nothing against the random earring or even a small brow ring.  But if you put dinner plates in your ears, or devils horns under your forehead skin, you're a freak, and up to no good i'd wager.

My fiance watches those MTV true-life shows. One of them was about a guy who got the devil horn forehead implants and massive gauges. He wanted to be unique and controversial.

Then they did a follow-up show and he had a couple kids with his girlfriend and needed a job to provide for them. Turns out he had a really hard time finding a job (or having anyone take him seriously).

He got the horns removed, but the gauges left his ears a flappy mess.

I think he finally got a job at Freebirds or something.

Sad that people are so shallow and judgemental as to judge someone's ability to carry out a job based purely on their physical appearance...


Pretty much every living species on the planet, from the beginning of time, has and does judge others on their appearance. I dont know a single adult that sees those things and doesn't think `douche-bag loser that probably doesnt have a job where the public sees them`.
Welcome to life on planet earth.
 
2014-02-13 11:53:48 AM
i68.photobucket.com
 
2014-02-13 11:53:51 AM

Egoy3k: I hate them, I think they look terrible. Here's the thing though, unless you are going to die in the next 10 years get ready to see that sort of stuff attached to more and more people who are gainfully employed


I dunno, I have to disagree. If you're some kind of genius like Abby in NCIS, maybe but if you work with customers, many who may be older, I don't think so. And if you wear something like that, you're just trying to shock people and show them how "metal" you are and that's a turn off to any employer, I think.

But maybe people thought that way about guys with earrings 30 years ago so I could be wrong.

That doesn't change the fact that it's totally douchebaggery. If that's even a word. It should be.
 
2014-02-13 11:55:00 AM
img.fark.net
 
2014-02-13 11:56:33 AM
I wonder how the parents dealt with the kids who asked a man to buy them alcohol and come to their house?

Seeing as on of the parents was looking for their kid I can guess the answer to that one.
 
2014-02-13 11:57:06 AM
Hey Farkers! Where are all the chicks logging in to say "hey, he's not all that disgusting..." or "I'd hit that..." like we see with all the female pedophiles? Seriously you need to work on your double standards.

and somewhere there has to be chicks who dig that ear-guage shia-t or guys wouldn't do it....
 
2014-02-13 12:00:46 PM

Wizard Drongo: Sad that people are so shallow and judgemental as to judge someone's ability to carry out a job based purely on their physical appearance...


I'm about as libby a liberal as ever libbed, but to radically alter your physical appearance with the intent to separate yourself from society at large and then decry said society for wishing to remain separate from you is baffling to me.
 
2014-02-13 12:02:01 PM

Bit'O'Gristle: Three Crooked Squirrels: I know that some of you that are cooler than me may disagree , but I think those giant plug things in the ears are disgusting. I can't help it, and I admit to judging the person on first sight as a loser.

/I'm with you there, but i have nothing against the random earring or even a small brow ring.  But if you put dinner plates in your ears, or devils horns under your forehead skin, you're a freak, and up to no good i'd wager.


i will weigh in on that one, they are NOT something i would personally choose to get, but as long as whatever gauge you have still fits in your original ear zone, it's not weird.  once you hit the weird zone, it'd better be something epic you've got stuck in there like your grandmother's mummified kittens or something... otherwise you're just trying to hulahoop without exercising, ya bum...
 
2014-02-13 12:04:01 PM

scotchlandia: Hey Farkers! Where are all the chicks logging in to say "hey, he's not all that disgusting..." or "I'd hit that..." like we see with all the female pedophiles? Seriously you need to work on your double standards.

and somewhere there has to be chicks who dig that ear-guage shia-t or guys wouldn't do it....


"sometimes, in the heat of the moment, it's okay to go ear-to-mouth"
 
2014-02-13 12:06:27 PM
The article didn't say where he worked. I'm going to guess either the pretzel joint, or one of those cell phone accessory kiosks.

What do you guys think?
 
2014-02-13 12:14:11 PM

semiotix: Mell of a Hess: What the hell would attract a 13 year-old to a dickhead like this?

"... buys alcohol ..."

Ah.  OK.

"Attract" might be the wrong word here. 13-year-olds make very bad life decisions, but virtually none of them would be  attracted to a guy like this, no matter how many wine coolers he bought them. Sure, they might have a crush on a 20-something guy, but crushes are for men who are completely oblivious to your existence, not the ones who are buying you booze and inviting you into their basement apartments. I'm guessing when the police asked the girls if he'd ever laid a hand on them (which must have been the subject of the first 500 questions), they burst out laughing at the idea that they'd ever let someone this gross and perverted get anywhere with them. That's perfect 13-year-old logic.

This kind of 23-year-old ultra-douche doesn't start looking attractive in the traditional sense of the word until you're about 17, when your parents' reaction goes from the mortifying "my baby! my precious innocent baby!" to the far more gratifying "you stay away from him, you little slut."


Amusingly enough, I was the kind of twentysomething guy a 13-year-old girl would have a crush on.  I had a goatee and a pony tail, and I was briefly a substitute teacher.  I had more than one girl in some classes drop hints at me, and one actually practically offered sex.  And no, I wasn't even remotely interested, I was into college girls.

Can't say I ever outgrew being attracted to college girls, though.
 
2014-02-13 12:14:51 PM

cynicalminion: scotchlandia: Hey Farkers! Where are all the chicks logging in to say "hey, he's not all that disgusting..." or "I'd hit that..." like we see with all the female pedophiles? Seriously you need to work on your double standards.

and somewhere there has to be chicks who dig that ear-guage shia-t or guys wouldn't do it....

"sometimes, in the heat of the moment, it's okay to go ear-to-mouth"


No.  No it isn't.  Eww.
 
2014-02-13 12:16:17 PM

Magnanimous_J: The article didn't say where he worked. I'm going to guess either the pretzel joint, or one of those cell phone accessory kiosks.

What do you guys think?


Graveyard shift at Kinko's.
 
2014-02-13 12:20:50 PM

Mugato: Egoy3k: I hate them, I think they look terrible. Here's the thing though, unless you are going to die in the next 10 years get ready to see that sort of stuff attached to more and more people who are gainfully employed

I dunno, I have to disagree. If you're some kind of genius like Abby in NCIS, maybe but if you work with customers, many who may be older, I don't think so. And if you wear something like that, you're just trying to shock people and show them how "metal" you are and that's a turn off to any employer, I think.

But maybe people thought that way about guys with earrings 30 years ago so I could be wrong.

That doesn't change the fact that it's totally douchebaggery. If that's even a word. It should be.


Very recently in Ontario Canada there was a case brought to trial where a hospital with elderly patients was found to have wrongfully dismissed several workers who had visible tattoos and piercings.  They used the same rationale you did about dealing with the elderly.  The court found that the nurses in question had been employed at that facility for several years with the tattoos and piercings without any complaints from any of their patients and no noticeable ill effects.

Now hiring is different I grant you but honestly employers are scared to death of lawsuits over this sort of thing because history shows that they almost always lose and even if they win they still lose because lawyers don't work for free.
 
2014-02-13 12:21:26 PM

Magnanimous_J: The article didn't say where he worked. I'm going to guess either the pretzel joint, or one of those cell phone accessory kiosks.

What do you guys think?


Hot Topic.
 
2014-02-13 12:23:27 PM

DarkVader: cynicalminion: scotchlandia: Hey Farkers! Where are all the chicks logging in to say "hey, he's not all that disgusting..." or "I'd hit that..." like we see with all the female pedophiles? Seriously you need to work on your double standards.

and somewhere there has to be chicks who dig that ear-guage shia-t or guys wouldn't do it....

"sometimes, in the heat of the moment, it's okay to go ear-to-mouth"

No.  No it isn't.  Eww.


well not if it's YOUR ear and HER mouth, goofball.

seriously, elias, do i have to teach you EVERYTHING around here?
 
2014-02-13 12:24:15 PM

scotchlandia: and somewhere there has to be chicks who dig that ear-guage shia-t or guys wouldn't do it....


The only guy I know personally who has these is an obvious undiagnosed case of Asperger Syndrome who grew up with an abusive hillbilly father, thinks it's normal for 20+ guys to pursue teenage girls, hasn't moved out of his father's house and won't acknowledge that he needs to, and has never had a girlfriend. Ever. Even for a little bit. Meanwhile, he hates his sister's boyfriend because of his "jailhouse tattoos", apparently oblivious to how his guages read to others.

I'm guessing that there's a strong correlation between guys who get ear guages and guys who are so desperately confused and bitter about the real world that they think girls dig it, but "think" is the operative word.
 
2014-02-13 12:27:45 PM

Mugato: Egoy3k: I hate them, I think they look terrible. Here's the thing though, unless you are going to die in the next 10 years get ready to see that sort of stuff attached to more and more people who are gainfully employed

I dunno, I have to disagree. If you're some kind of genius like Abby in NCIS, maybe but if you work with customers, many who may be older, I don't think so. And if you wear something like that, you're just trying to shock people and show them how "metal" you are and that's a turn off to any employer, I think.

But maybe people thought that way about guys with earrings 30 years ago so I could be wrong.

That doesn't change the fact that it's totally douchebaggery. If that's even a word. It should be.



A perfectly cromulent word.
 
2014-02-13 12:28:53 PM

Wizard Drongo: Sad that people are so shallow and judgemental as to judge someone's ability to carry out a job based purely on their physical appearance...


static3.wikia.nocookie.net

/Second time I've gotten to use that today.
 
2014-02-13 12:34:34 PM
Agnes Gonxha's Confidant:
Not sure about that. He looks pretty pervy still
[trevostudio.com image 400x300]


You win...

giveupinternet.com
 
2014-02-13 12:35:48 PM

browntimmy: Three Crooked Squirrels: I know that some of you that are cooler than me may disagree , but I think those giant plug things in the ears are disgusting. I can't help it, and I admit to judging the person on first sight as a loser.

When I think of cool, I think of Clint Eastwood characters. If I see somebody doing something a Clint Eastwood character wouldn't do, they're not cool. But then again, using this system no one is cool, not even Clint Eastwood.


I'm not so sure about his character in Heartbreak Ridge. That dude ripped an earring out of an earlobe. He should've been brought up on assault charges for that.
 
2014-02-13 12:37:17 PM

Cold_Sassy: Wizard Drongo: Sad that people are so shallow and judgemental as to judge someone's ability to carry out a job based purely on their physical appearance...

Yeah, sure.  You go ahead and hire one.  I won't be.


These types of statements aren't usually made by people who actually make hiring decisions.

/Except maybe at tattoo parlors
//or Hot Topic
 
2014-02-13 12:51:19 PM

steve42: Wizard Drongo: Sad that people are so shallow and judgemental as to judge someone's ability to carry out a job based purely on their physical appearance...

[static3.wikia.nocookie.net image 400x365]

/Second time I've gotten to use that today.


img.fark.net
 
2014-02-13 01:04:50 PM

whosits_112: Mugato: Egoy3k: I hate them, I think they look terrible. Here's the thing though, unless you are going to die in the next 10 years get ready to see that sort of stuff attached to more and more people who are gainfully employed

I dunno, I have to disagree. If you're some kind of genius like Abby in NCIS, maybe but if you work with customers, many who may be older, I don't think so. And if you wear something like that, you're just trying to shock people and show them how "metal" you are and that's a turn off to any employer, I think.

But maybe people thought that way about guys with earrings 30 years ago so I could be wrong.

That doesn't change the fact that it's totally douchebaggery. If that's even a word. It should be.


A perfectly cromulent word.


img.fark.netimg.fark.net

/seriously, if this is your gauge of what's okay and what's not, go with the guy who failed his will-save. if he's not drooling over the paladin, he will treat her right, and possibly get his lobes stretched just so she can easily hook up the cuffs ...

or so i've heard.

NTTNZOMGWTFBBQEWWT

ah, fark it, it's close enough...  here we go, v-day rant on.

is it permanent, and have you already considered it?

are you comfortable showing it to your oldest female relative?

will your dad buy you a beer if he sees it

will HIS dad?

will his MOM?

ok, basics are out of the way, if those were all yesses, free and clear if you're willing to sign and sit for it.

NOW  we have details.

are you modifying a part of your anatomy that is covered by your standard work apparel?

is it something that will still be covered should you seek other employment?

still on the yes page?  you're safely "not a freak"  also, if you're well-established in your employment and can make reasonable arrangements for concealing something new when it heals, this is NOT the time to test the "better to ask forgiveness than permission"  strategy.

will it get deformed by age/gravity/etc?
yes? re-evaluate what it is and why you want it THERE
no? good, we're still on the "follow that yellow brick road down my spine and around my thighs before kissin' oz" track of knowin' what you want and gettin' it good...

at this point if there are ANY personal reasons for a mod you want to do, and you are not only okay with showing your grandmother, but your grandDAUGHTER as well, fark 'em all that's meaning nobody can argue with.

oh yeah, i forgot one question before i started all this.  scared of needles?

ok. now find someone GOOD. best bet will always be someone who has what you want...

i will stop now before i start making rude comments about bejazzling, and rounding up a rhinestone ham-wallet when there's a perfectly rideable stallion across the way.

*kiss, dahling!*
 
2014-02-13 01:18:48 PM

H31N0US: [img.fark.net image 600x406]


---Dammit, no you put pervy thoughts in my head with that picture.

/ love the movie
 
2014-02-13 01:40:46 PM

Agnes Gonxha's Confidant: menschenfresser: You know, that dude would actually be quite good-looking without the ridiculous earrings - and also without the perv-stache. If he'd get rid of that stupid stuff I'm sure he'd have no trouble at all getting dates with men his own age. Also women too, probably.

Not sure about that. He looks pretty pervy still


It's the red lipstick he appears to be wearing. His lips are exuding perviness.
 
2014-02-13 01:46:08 PM

cynicalminion: scotchlandia: Hey Farkers! Where are all the chicks logging in to say "hey, he's not all that disgusting..." or "I'd hit that..." like we see with all the female pedophiles? Seriously you need to work on your double standards.

and somewhere there has to be chicks who dig that ear-guage shia-t or guys wouldn't do it....

"sometimes, in the heat of the moment, it's okay to go ear-to-mouth"


I don't always go ear to mouth, but when I do, I'm on meth.
 
2014-02-13 01:49:07 PM
Yeah, ultimately those girls were safe with that guy. It was just another leg in his journey that culminates in his accepting that he's into dudes.

P.S. people - please learn to spell gauge.
 
2014-02-13 01:55:31 PM

jim32rr: Three Crooked Squirrels: I know that some of you that are cooler than me may disagree , but I think those giant plug things in the ears are disgusting. I can't help it, and I admit to judging the person on first sight as a loser.

You are not alone


Bigger the gage, lower the wage.
 
2014-02-13 02:03:47 PM

H31N0US: [img.fark.net image 600x406]


fap fappity fap fap fap!
 
2014-02-13 02:06:02 PM
I'd like some more documentation on how he picked the girls up.

/you know, for research
 
2014-02-13 02:11:54 PM
13 and 14 year olds are lightweights.  One Boones Farm and they're out cold.  Wait till they're 15 if you really like to party.
 
2014-02-13 02:27:21 PM

Witness99: cynicalminion: scotchlandia: Hey Farkers! Where are all the chicks logging in to say "hey, he's not all that disgusting..." or "I'd hit that..." like we see with all the female pedophiles? Seriously you need to work on your double standards.

and somewhere there has to be chicks who dig that ear-guage shia-t or guys wouldn't do it....

"sometimes, in the heat of the moment, it's okay to go ear-to-mouth"

I don't always go ear to mouth, but when I do, I'm on meth.


nope.  not ear to meth.  not even once...

i'm more just upset that this dude's appearance got rated as "looks about how you'd expect" which isn't necessarily WRONG, it's just mall guys hooking up with tweenies tend to be the "follow the trail of drool back to the parents' trailer, and then find out that their naturally balding, not socially akward dude who between either spencers or hot topic, works somewhere where people pushing thirty dress in something black and pink that barely covers your hooha and usually invites people to look.

i'm not white-black-or-even-plaid-pink knighting the guy, but seriously?  until anyone working at a spencers, hot topic, or forever (ten years away from) 21 or claires ACTUALLY LOOKS LIKE THEY'VE BEEN THROUGH FARKING PUBERTY?  THEN, MAYBE, this will be an "all those guys are total pervs"  issue.

if the guy is far enough out of the house that he's using the job to pay rent?  his fault for being in a store where swooning tampontots will launch themselves in the directon of his testosterone.

fark you napoleon dynamite.  i remember hair, glasses and tots, and two hours of my life i will never get back.

so.  without even having LEFT hot topic, the "18 or accompanied by an adult is pointless, and never enforced" he's  pretty much standard dress code for somone who's either been there for ten years and never going to retire, or someone who got hired after graduation and may or may not be starting college in the fall.

meanwhile decent people are getting judged as child molesters because this perv happened to pass the "don't hire pervs to work in a store that sells to BRATZ!" test...
 
2014-02-13 03:08:10 PM

scotchlandia: Hey Farkers! Where are all the chicks logging in to say "hey, he's not all that disgusting..." or "I'd hit that..." like we see with all the female pedophiles? Seriously you need to work on your double standards.

and somewhere there has to be chicks who dig that ear-guage shia-t or guys wouldn't do it....


yeah, and they're just as worthless as the guys
 
2014-02-13 03:46:30 PM

cynicalminion: are you modifying a part of your anatomy that is covered by your standard work apparel?


but..but...strippers
 
2014-02-13 03:56:10 PM

Satan's Bunny Slippers: MayoSlather: That's long been my standard of cool as well. Nothing cooler than a man with no name.

[img.fark.net image 500x225]


farking aye, my friend, farking aye.
 
2014-02-13 03:58:25 PM

trappedspirit: cynicalminion: are you modifying a part of your anatomy that is covered by your standard work apparel?

but..but...strippers


this could end... well, messy, or both.  :D

laverdadrefresca.com
 
2014-02-13 04:01:17 PM

Egoy3k: Now hiring is different I grant you but honestly employers are scared to death of lawsuits over this sort of thing because history shows that they almost always lose and even if they win they still lose because lawyers don't work for free.


it's easy to just make shiat up on the Internet, idn't it?
 
2014-02-13 04:03:38 PM

trappedspirit: cynicalminion: are you modifying a part of your anatomy that is covered by your standard work apparel?

but..but...strippers


fun facts to know and tell, i can apparently, through the magic of the preview panel, expand robbie williams' blurred and moving bait and tackle, as it were.

yay fun.
 
2014-02-13 04:16:54 PM

Freebyrdjason: Nicholas Cage.....  Raising Arizona.  It was the first I thought of from looking at the pic!


Son, you got a oreo in your ear.

/other one too
 
2014-02-13 04:25:45 PM

MayoSlather: browntimmy: Three Crooked Squirrels: I know that some of you that are cooler than me may disagree , but I think those giant plug things in the ears are disgusting. I can't help it, and I admit to judging the person on first sight as a loser.

When I think of cool, I think of Clint Eastwood characters. If I see somebody doing something a Clint Eastwood character wouldn't do, they're not cool. But then again, using this system no one is cool, not even Clint Eastwood.

That's long been my standard of cool as well. Nothing cooler than a man with no name.


You squares don't know the meaning of the word.

static.tumblr.com
 
2014-02-13 04:51:33 PM
i102.photobucket.com
/it's still very rude to stare....
 
2014-02-13 05:05:23 PM
static1.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2014-02-13 05:07:49 PM
When I was growing up, there was a very attractive blonde pornstar named Gauge.  The photoshop work was phenomenal, she looked really soft and warm all the time, with fairly large, supposedly natural milk glands and a cute little smile.

I say this, because TFA is so farked up and depressing, but the blonde wasn't.   When i see people with the damn dinner-plate sized holes in their ears, I choose to pretend those people don't exist, and think about my first crush.  I'll be in my bunk.

//and seriously, girls as young as that have no curves.  Why not just go after boys if you dislike boobies that much?
 
2014-02-13 05:25:47 PM

IronJelly: When I was growing up, there was a very attractive blonde pornstar named Gauge.  The photoshop work was phenomenal, she looked really soft and warm all the time, with fairly large, supposedly natural milk glands and a cute little smile.

I say this, because TFA is so farked up and depressing, but the blonde wasn't.   When i see people with the damn dinner-plate sized holes in their ears, I choose to pretend those people don't exist, and think about my first crush.  I'll be in my bunk.

//and seriously, girls as young as that have no curves.  Why not just go after boys if you dislike boobies that much?


Gauge was a cutie alright and nasty as they come. *sigh* Haley Paige was another...
 
2014-02-13 08:39:19 PM
Admittedly, I have worn (fake) gauge, tribal style earrings before.  I like the look of them.

But actually stretching my earlobes?  Ewww...
 
2014-02-13 09:27:32 PM
I saw that the accused is from Methuen, MA . Methuen isn't a tye dye kind of place - it's more of a heavy metal kind of town. Always has been, and, judging by the people who I see at the Rockingham Mall in neighboring Salem, NH (Methuen's sister city) it still is.
 
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