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(New York Daily News)   "I stopped counting after I killed my 800th person; it just seemed tedious and lost its charm. The counting, not the killing," admits Mexican hit man during trial of his former employer, a drug czar   (nydailynews.com) divider line 10
    More: Scary, El Paso County Sheriff, drug czar, cartels, Mexican Drug Cartel  
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7610 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Feb 2014 at 2:30 AM (22 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-02-13 08:46:01 AM
10 votes:
Annual Performance Review

Employee: Jesus Ernesto Chavez Castillo
Career: Mid Level Assassin (Central Region)

Professionalism: 90%
Jesus Ernesto Chavez Castillo is a professional assassin that has performed over 800 operations. He is well liked by his colleagues and can be called upon to perform extra killings when required.

Appearance: 90%
Jesus Ernesto Chavez Castillo is often covered in blood because of his job requirements but he attempts to clean himself up whenever possible and portray the organization in a positive light. If he is returning to the office to catch up on paperwork and he has blood or brain parts on his person, he uses the employee entrance as to not offend potential customers or business associates. On his "Non Kill" days, he dresses professionally and reflect positively the business culture that we have worked hard to present.

Education: 95%
Jesus Ernesto Chavez Castillo has continued to learn different ways to kill. He shows inventiveness in difficult situations; i. e. he once strangled a person when his weapon jammed. He is always reading about new killing methods. He is willing to share this knowledge with his co-workers and victims.

Attitude: 40%
Sadly, this is a minor setback for Jesus Ernesto Chavez Castillo. He no longer shows the zest for killing that he had in years prior. While he does the job, he is often morose about it as if killing didn't matter to him as much as it used to. We have implored him to take a vacation but he declines citing work and backlog. We hope that this is a minor setback for Jesus Ernesto Chavez Castillo and that he soon regains his enjoyment of killing.

Recommendations: Jesus Ernesto Chavez Castillo should continue in his present career path but given a lighter workload until his professional attitude improves. If possible, he should be given a challenge that allows him to rediscover his love for killing. Maybe blow up a busload of nuns. Something easy yet satisfying. At this time, we don't want to promote Jesus Ernesto Chavez Castillo but will review this option at a future date. We recommend a 4.3% raise and giving him an assigned parking spot at Corporate if one is available. If not, maybe he can kill someone who has an assigned spot. That would certainly put the brass back in to his bullets.

Please note that I do not have an assigned parking spot but Bob in Accounting does.
2014-02-13 02:35:04 AM
8 votes:
img.fark.net
2014-02-13 03:03:20 AM
5 votes:

Bucky Katt: fusillade762: Jesus Ernesto (El Camello) Chavez Castillo said he agreed to testify against his former boss because "I feel I did the right thing, since I did so much wrong,"

I'm sure a troubled conscience was the reason and not the deal prosecutors made with him.

It took 800 corpses for his conscience to kick in.  Perfectly normal.



799 was okay, but 800 was Juan too many.
2014-02-13 02:46:16 AM
2 votes:
Proof that turning a hobby into a job always ruins your hobby.
2014-02-13 02:33:23 AM
2 votes:

AverageAmericanGuy: Meanwhile, the Navy Seals and Army Rangers are considered heroes.

Perspective is an interesting thing.


Your mind is so open......that it's causing your brain to leak out.
2014-02-13 08:51:50 AM
1 votes:
Poor Bob in accounting.
2014-02-13 04:02:49 AM
1 votes:

Kujira: hardinparamedic: AverageAmericanGuy: Meanwhile, the Navy Seals and Army Rangers are considered heroes.

Perspective is an interesting thing.

Murdering civilians is totally similar to killing terrorist fighters in a declared conflict in accordance with the laws and rules of war.

[24.media.tumblr.com image 429x301]

"Would you like a lesson, sir, in the rules of war?"


static3.wikia.nocookie.net
www.orble.com
2014-02-13 03:12:28 AM
1 votes:
Public Savant:Well, okay.

There is absolutely nothing flawed or wrong with your gross oversimplification of things.

Bless your heart.
2014-02-13 02:37:14 AM
1 votes:
 Barrio Aztecas Gang? That's not my BAG baby!
2014-02-13 02:18:34 AM
1 votes:

fusillade762: Jesus Ernesto (El Camello) Chavez Castillo said he agreed to testify against his former boss because "I feel I did the right thing, since I did so much wrong,"

I'm sure a troubled conscience was the reason and not the deal prosecutors made with him.


It took 800 corpses for his conscience to kick in.  Perfectly normal.
 
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