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(Psychology Today)   Scientists say that Friends With Benefits relationships rarely end the friendship so go ahead and relieve some stress   (psychologytoday.com ) divider line
    More: Spiffy, FWB, Archives of Sexual Behavior, monogamous relationship, emotional intimacy, anxiety, main function, interpersonal relationship  
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5424 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Feb 2014 at 10:46 AM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-02-12 10:45:33 AM  
If you set those up well in your youth, early 20s or so, you can build a reliable stable that can last you for decades.

That can backfire badly, though, so exercise caution.
 
2014-02-12 10:48:45 AM  
I prefer enemies with benefits.   It's always makeup sex and always spicier.
 
2014-02-12 10:49:50 AM  
Hint: If someone tells you they don't want to have sex and jeopardize the friendship, they're lying.
 
2014-02-12 10:52:03 AM  
So Farkettes...  "How YOU doin?"
 
2014-02-12 10:54:57 AM  
In my experience, itt's a 50/50  sometimes one party gets too close....
 
2014-02-12 10:57:31 AM  
Doubt they can continue without either party getting emotionally involved.

But then again I'm speculating.
 
2014-02-12 10:58:05 AM  

GardenWeasel: So Farkettes...  "How YOU doin?"


ICALLMISSDIMINUITIVE!

Called it first. Aww yeahh.

Now to just sit back and wait for her to email me.

/myhowthedustpilesuponmykeyboard
 
2014-02-12 10:58:54 AM  
Any woman who agrees to a friends-with-benefits situation is really just scheming for a boyfriend. A prostitute is the only woman who can separate emotions from sex.
 
2014-02-12 11:00:21 AM  

BobNesta420: Hint: If someone tells you they don't want to have sex and jeopardize the friendship, they're lying.


Well, not about the "don't want to have sex with you" part.
 
2014-02-12 11:01:06 AM  
I only want to be friends with a woman, no need for the benefits.


/said no guy ever
 
2014-02-12 11:01:32 AM  
Every single FWB arrangement I've had has ended in shambles. Since I'm the one common factor to each relationship, I'm guessing I'm just incapable of keeping the lines separate.

Either that or I'm a succubus.

/why not both?
 
2014-02-12 11:01:44 AM  
It should be called friends only if there's benefits.  How many of us men actually want to hang out with girl during that one week a month.
 
2014-02-12 11:01:53 AM  

baconbeard: I only want to be friends with a woman, no need for the benefits.


/said no guy ever


Ironically, except those with "beards"
 
2014-02-12 11:02:54 AM  

miss diminutive: Every single FWB arrangement I've had has ended in shambles. Since I'm the one common factor to each relationship, I'm guessing I'm just incapable of keeping the lines separate.

Either that or I'm a succubus.

/why not both?


If at first you don't succeed, try try again.... and try, and try, and try....
 
2014-02-12 11:03:43 AM  

BobNesta420: Hint: If someone tells you they don't want to have sex and jeopardize the friendship, they're lying.


I did this. And I wasn't lying. There was always an intense sex spark between us, but I knew a relationship wouldn't last and I valued the friendship too much. One night she offered and said if I still wanted to be just friends in the morning that was fine. This was before 'friends with benefits' was a common phrase and I thought she was hoping to sex me into a relationship, so I gently declined.

Cripes I was such an idiot.

/am. Am such an idiot.
//she's happily married with two beautiful kids now. I was in her wedding, although I stood on the groom's side.
 
2014-02-12 11:04:26 AM  

miss diminutive: Every single FWB arrangement I've had has ended in shambles. Since I'm the one common factor to each relationship, I'm guessing I'm just incapable of keeping the lines separate.

Either that or I'm a succubus.

/why not both?


Close enough. I'm on my way.
 
2014-02-12 11:04:47 AM  
These scientists need to talk to my wife....

/that'sthejoke.jpg.
 
2014-02-12 11:05:25 AM  
My marriage is ending and I'm in three FWB relationships. I'm about to add a fourth. It's like being in college all over again (except I wasn't married then).

/41
//the sex is way better
///still feel like I'm in college
 
2014-02-12 11:05:51 AM  
I gotta go makes some calls.
 
2014-02-12 11:06:00 AM  

Grumpy Cat: My marriage is ending and I'm in three FWB relationships. I'm about to add a fourth. It's like being in college all over again (except I wasn't married then).

/41
//the sex is way better
///still feel like I'm in college


Nice.
 
2014-02-12 11:06:02 AM  
F*cking idiots.  This involves women.  Women ruin everything.  The end is never amicable.  It ranges somewhere between awkward and death.
 
2014-02-12 11:06:48 AM  

Pocket Ninja: If you set those up well in your youth, early 20s or so, you can build a reliable stable that can last you for decades.

That can backfire badly, though, so exercise caution.


Actually, this. I had a FWB relationship with a gal I've known since college. We weren't FWB in college, but after college we happened to move to the same city, hooked up as FWB, then she got married and after 12 years of marriage she got divorced. Since then we've been FWB. The key is finding women with a very strong libido. I had a FWB in college with a gal that is now a married lesbian. (No, I wasn't so bad that I turned her into a lesbian) Her partner doesn't trust us be alone in the same room. Again, she had a strong libido too.
 
2014-02-12 11:07:16 AM  
Quite the opposite... Sometimes you need to have sex to save the friendship.
 
2014-02-12 11:08:39 AM  
Not worth it.
My right hand has not spoken to me in years.
 
2014-02-12 11:09:13 AM  
In other news: Scientists are getting desperate and will try anything to get laid.

/A man with a chart walks into a bar...
 
2014-02-12 11:10:33 AM  
Snarky Acronym:  Her partner doesn't trust us be alone in the same room.

There *IS* a solution to that problem, ya know.
 
2014-02-12 11:11:22 AM  

Grumpy Cat: My marriage is ending and I'm in three FWB relationships. I'm about to add a fourth. It's like being in college all over again (except I wasn't married then).

/41
//the sex is way better
///still feel like I'm in college


Good for you.  My marriage is ending, but I'm waiting to move out before any new FWB's.  I had one, but it turned into more but we broke it off b/c we were too close.

/I'll contact her once I move out though
 
2014-02-12 11:11:59 AM  
That makes sense, I have had a couple of relationships with women, where we were just friends who liked doing things together, and occasionally having sex.  These were the best relationships I ever had with women.  Come to think of it, I probably got closer, and more intimate with them, then I did in any relationship where we were trying to be romantic.  In those relationships, the expectation of dating and courtship killed our ability to connect.

Now that I think about it, maybe I had been in a relationship?
 
2014-02-12 11:14:22 AM  
I don't want a friend with benefits.  I just want a nympho with big tits.
 
2014-02-12 11:14:23 AM  

argylez: Grumpy Cat: My marriage is ending and I'm in three FWB relationships. I'm about to add a fourth. It's like being in college all over again (except I wasn't married then).

/41
//the sex is way better
///still feel like I'm in college

Good for you.  My marriage is ending, but I'm waiting to move out before any new FWB's.  I had one, but it turned into more but we broke it off b/c we were too close.

/I'll contact her once I move out though


That's why I have multiple. I won't get too close to any one of them. Or, I'll try my best. I've explained it to the three guys. The fourth I'm still working on. I've known him the longest and it will be intense. But, fark it. Let's have a good time.
 
2014-02-12 11:16:55 AM  

baconbeard: I only want to be friends with a woman, no need for the benefits.

/said no guy ever


Are we pretending gay men don't exist here?
 
2014-02-12 11:17:41 AM  
Being friends with benefits doesn't end the friendship... until one of you gets into an actual relationship.
 
2014-02-12 11:18:51 AM  

Grumpy Cat: That's why I have multiple. I won't get too close to any one of them. Or, I'll try my best. I've explained it to the three guys. The fourth I'm still working on. I've known him the longest and it will be intense. But, fark it. Let's have a good time.


I've had 9 FWB's in 5 years of marriage (never got close to any except the last one), so this is why I'm leaving (well, the wife is also controlling, low sex drive and I'm not attracted to her anymore).    The last one was different.  My wife deserves better b/c I'm a cheating piece of shiat...lol.

/I have 2 young kids at home
//would have left sooner if it weren't for them
 
2014-02-12 11:20:33 AM  

REO-Weedwagon: Any woman who agrees to a friends-with-benefits situation is really just scheming for a boyfriend. A prostitute is the only woman who can separate emotions from sex.


Your argument seems to ignore that women might want sex because it is enjoyable.  Could it just be that the women you've been with haven't found it enjoyable?
 
2014-02-12 11:20:35 AM  
I'm a scientist.  Shiat, how come I can never get into studies like this?

/actually did, informally
//findings not duplicated, unfortunately
 
2014-02-12 11:20:57 AM  

Pocket Ninja: If you set those up well in your youth, early 20s or so, you can build a reliable stable that can last you for decades.


www.smbc-comics.com
 
2014-02-12 11:22:11 AM  

dragonchild: baconbeard: I only want to be friends with a woman, no need for the benefits.

/said no guy ever

Are we pretending gay men don't exist here?


Sorry, I should have qualified that... haven't had coffee yet.
 
2014-02-12 11:27:33 AM  
It never ended my friendships. Even when the benefits plan ran out.

Thanks Obama.
 
2014-02-12 11:34:00 AM  

GardenWeasel: Snarky Acronym:  Her partner doesn't trust us be alone in the same room.

There *IS* a solution to that problem, ya know.


If you're thinking what I think you're thinking, no thanks. Her partner is not a lipstick lesbian. Besides, her partner is 100% gay, my friend that was the FWB is probably 95% gay.
 
2014-02-12 11:34:28 AM  

Grumpy Cat: argylez: Grumpy Cat: My marriage is ending and I'm in three FWB relationships. I'm about to add a fourth. It's like being in college all over again (except I wasn't married then).

/41
//the sex is way better
///still feel like I'm in college

Good for you.  My marriage is ending, but I'm waiting to move out before any new FWB's.  I had one, but it turned into more but we broke it off b/c we were too close.

/I'll contact her once I move out though

That's why I have multiple. I won't get too close to any one of them. Or, I'll try my best. I've explained it to the three guys. The fourth I'm still working on. I've known him the longest and it will be intense. But, fark it. Let's have a good time.


Gonna have a hard time maintaining that grumpiness.
 
2014-02-12 11:36:16 AM  

Cheron: REO-Weedwagon: Any woman who agrees to a friends-with-benefits situation is really just scheming for a boyfriend. A prostitute is the only woman who can separate emotions from sex.

Your argument seems to ignore that women might want sex because it is enjoyable.  Could it just be that the women you've been with haven't found it enjoyable?


listofnationwideburncenters.jpg
 
2014-02-12 11:36:31 AM  
Have had a few long term ones that were fantastic and ended due to one of us relocating...

Hell the best one lasted off and on for 10 years. The funny part is that we weren't even friends. We didn't really even like each other...but when we got behind closed doors... Yikes
 
2014-02-12 11:37:32 AM  

brimed03: Grumpy Cat: argylez: Grumpy Cat: My marriage is ending and I'm in three FWB relationships. I'm about to add a fourth. It's like being in college all over again (except I wasn't married then).

/41
//the sex is way better
///still feel like I'm in college

Good for you.  My marriage is ending, but I'm waiting to move out before any new FWB's.  I had one, but it turned into more but we broke it off b/c we were too close.

/I'll contact her once I move out though

That's why I have multiple. I won't get too close to any one of them. Or, I'll try my best. I've explained it to the three guys. The fourth I'm still working on. I've known him the longest and it will be intense. But, fark it. Let's have a good time.

Gonna have a hard time maintaining that grumpiness.



She'll have a different excuse for the grumpiness- lack of sleep.
 
2014-02-12 11:47:25 AM  

Snarky Acronym: brimed03: Grumpy Cat: argylez: Grumpy Cat: My marriage is ending and I'm in three FWB relationships. I'm about to add a fourth. It's like being in college all over again (except I wasn't married then).

/41
//the sex is way better
///still feel like I'm in college

Good for you.  My marriage is ending, but I'm waiting to move out before any new FWB's.  I had one, but it turned into more but we broke it off b/c we were too close.

/I'll contact her once I move out though

That's why I have multiple. I won't get too close to any one of them. Or, I'll try my best. I've explained it to the three guys. The fourth I'm still working on. I've known him the longest and it will be intense. But, fark it. Let's have a good time.

Gonna have a hard time maintaining that grumpiness.


She'll have a different excuse for the grumpiness- lack of sleep.


You'd think. But everyone is so busy. I can't get together often enough with any of them. Another reason I'm adding the fourth guy.
 
2014-02-12 11:50:29 AM  

Grumpy Cat: You'd think. But everyone is so busy. I can't get together often enough with any of them. Another reason I'm adding the fourth guy.


Are you anywhere near Philly?
 
2014-02-12 11:52:55 AM  

argylez: Grumpy Cat: You'd think. But everyone is so busy. I can't get together often enough with any of them. Another reason I'm adding the fourth guy.

Are you anywhere near Philly?


I'm in NYC, but you're not my friend. I pick guys I know and trust.
 
2014-02-12 11:53:31 AM  

Grumpy Cat: Snarky Acronym: brimed03: Grumpy Cat: argylez: Grumpy Cat: My marriage is ending and I'm in three FWB relationships. I'm about to add a fourth. It's like being in college all over again (except I wasn't married then).

/41
//the sex is way better
///still feel like I'm in college

Good for you.  My marriage is ending, but I'm waiting to move out before any new FWB's.  I had one, but it turned into more but we broke it off b/c we were too close.

/I'll contact her once I move out though

That's why I have multiple. I won't get too close to any one of them. Or, I'll try my best. I've explained it to the three guys. The fourth I'm still working on. I've known him the longest and it will be intense. But, fark it. Let's have a good time.

Gonna have a hard time maintaining that grumpiness.


She'll have a different excuse for the grumpiness- lack of sleep.

You'd think. But everyone is so busy. I can't get together often enough with any of them. Another reason I'm adding the fourth guy.


Gotta be creative. I have a friend now and I'd say we average 2-3 times a week. Lunchtime ftw...
 
2014-02-12 11:55:59 AM  

SirDigbyChickenCaesar: Grumpy Cat: Snarky Acronym: brimed03: Grumpy Cat: argylez: Grumpy Cat: My marriage is ending and I'm in three FWB relationships. I'm about to add a fourth. It's like being in college all over again (except I wasn't married then).

/41
//the sex is way better
///still feel like I'm in college

Good for you.  My marriage is ending, but I'm waiting to move out before any new FWB's.  I had one, but it turned into more but we broke it off b/c we were too close.

/I'll contact her once I move out though

That's why I have multiple. I won't get too close to any one of them. Or, I'll try my best. I've explained it to the three guys. The fourth I'm still working on. I've known him the longest and it will be intense. But, fark it. Let's have a good time.

Gonna have a hard time maintaining that grumpiness.


She'll have a different excuse for the grumpiness- lack of sleep.

You'd think. But everyone is so busy. I can't get together often enough with any of them. Another reason I'm adding the fourth guy.

Gotta be creative. I have a friend now and I'd say we average 2-3 times a week. Lunchtime ftw...


I've done the lunchtime thing. Heck, I'm not working now. I'm free anytime. Sometimes they're not.
 
2014-02-12 11:59:17 AM  

SirDigbyChickenCaesar: Gotta be creative. I have a friend now and I'd say we average 2-3 times a week. Lunchtime ftw...


+1 - I was seeing my last one EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.  Sometimes 2 or 3x a day.

/I'm very creative
 
2014-02-12 11:59:52 AM  

Grumpy Cat: I'm in NYC, but you're not my friend. I pick guys I know and trust.


Lets be friends then.  Nice to meet you ;)
 
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