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(Some carbonated Lewinsky Goo)   '90s nostalgia is now a 'thing': Crystal Pepsi returning to store shelves   (wallstreetsentinel.com) divider line 118
    More: Amusing, Crystal Pepsi, shelfs  
•       •       •

8190 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Feb 2014 at 5:54 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



118 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-02-12 07:31:41 AM  
alexraphael.files.wordpress.com

Invisible Cola = trouble
 
2014-02-12 07:39:24 AM  

stuhayes2010: Never had it and I was a child of the 90's. Did it taste like sprite?


It tasted like carbonated mouthwash.
 
2014-02-12 07:40:29 AM  
This story made me happy until I realized it was fake.

I never got to try Crystal Pepsi.

I hear it's as good as crystal gravy.
 
2014-02-12 07:41:59 AM  
30.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-02-12 07:43:53 AM  

mamoru: Well, if 90s nostalgia isn't a thing, it ought to be. The 90s were pretty good for the most part.


You're just remembering the good parts. On the balance, the 90s sucked. Mind you, that applies to pretty much any decade.
 
2014-02-12 07:46:57 AM  

xenophon10k: "Most of our customers have literally had their synapses fried by an over-abundance of selection in the soda aisle," Draper continued. "We feel like Crystal Pepsi can attract both nostalgic hipsters who will drink it ironically and the genuinely confused. It's a winning combination for us."

Hmm...let me just click the "About" link...

Q. Are your news stories 100% accurate?
A. Yes, because they are 100% satirical.

Subby's fail wears a hypercolor shirt.


Hey now! I had a hyper color shirt.

Max (is just an animal)
 
2014-02-12 07:47:54 AM  
Anybody remember Zima?  It was a clear alcopop beverage made by Coors brewing company during the clear beverage craze of the 1990s.  It was marketed as a "manly alternative" to wine coolers for men who didn't like the taste of beer.  It was very successful for its first year, but to Coors' horror most of its' drinkers were 20-something women.  Then it became the butt of jokes by comedians by David Letterman who portrayed it as a sissy drink for girly men.  Coors stopped advertising it after that, but surprisingly it remained on store shelves for a decade before they quietly stopped selling it domestically.  Apparently you can still get it in Japan.

I never tried it because I was like 14 years old when it came out (I didn't have my first drink until I was 19. Late bloomer, I know).  But I've heard it was farking gross.
 
2014-02-12 07:50:14 AM  

darkjezter: Anybody remember Zima?  It was a clear alcopop beverage made by Coors brewing company during the clear beverage craze of the 1990s.  It was marketed as a "manly alternative" to wine coolers for men who didn't like the taste of beer.  It was very successful for its first year, but to Coors' horror most of its' drinkers were 20-something women.  Then it became the butt of jokes by comedians by David Letterman who portrayed it as a sissy drink for girly men.  Coors stopped advertising it after that, but surprisingly it remained on store shelves for a decade before they quietly stopped selling it domestically.  Apparently you can still get it in Japan.

I never tried it because I was like 14 years old when it came out (I didn't have my first drink until I was 19. Late bloomer, I know).  But I've heard it was farking gross.


That shiat was gross, although I remember some people putting Jolly Ranchers in the bottle to make it supposedly taste better.
 
2014-02-12 07:56:06 AM  
But can I get a Pepsi Free?

"You want a Pepsi, pal, you're gonna pay for it."
blog.zap2it.com
 
2014-02-12 07:58:59 AM  
img.fark.net
img.fark.net
 
2014-02-12 08:01:56 AM  

xenophon10k: "Most of our customers have literally had their synapses fried by an over-abundance of selection in the soda aisle," Draper continued. "We feel like Crystal Pepsi can attract both nostalgic hipsters who will drink it ironically and the genuinely confused. It's a winning combination for us."

Hmm...let me just click the "About" link...

Q. Are your news stories 100% accurate?
A. Yes, because they are 100% satirical.

Subby's fail wears a hypercolor shirt.


Hyper color was a late '80s fad.
 
2014-02-12 08:08:11 AM  
I LIKED CRYSTAL PEPSI !!!

Also, SNAPPLE started out as a soda company with clear sodas (root beer is not supposed to be brown).
 
2014-02-12 08:16:49 AM  

NobleHam: WinoRhino: They did. You're drinking it. You just don't realize it.

No. I assume you're talking about the switch to corn syrup, but just no. Even if you buy that conspiracy theory, what you're drinking now is bastardized old coke, not New Coke.


I'm not suggesting conspiracy theories. Is what you're drinking "New Coke?" No, but by saying it is "bastardized old Coke" is just semantics. Whether you say it is "New Coke" or "New" Coke doesn't matter because in the end it's not the same recipe it used to be so you are drinking a new "coke."

Coke was losing ground to Pepsi. Pepsi was sweeter. General consumer testing showed tastes migrating toward the sweeter side of things. Even Diet Coke which was its own independent flavor NOT based off the original Coke was gaining ground on the original. Why? Because the artificial sweeteners in it tasted sweeter than sugar. So Coke came out with New Coke. Enter consumer backlash and the switch back to Classic Coke. But it wasn't a total retreat because Coke used the opportunity to switch to corn syrup which had the result of making Coke sweeter than the original used to be, but not as sweet as New Coke. New Coke wasn't designed to prime the consumer and trick them into accepting corn sugar. That's silly talk. But they didn't completely give in to the consumer's demands, either.

That hallowed recipe they have under lock and key? They don't use it anymore. The words "corn syrup" aren't on that piece of paper. Neither are half of the ingredients they now use.
 
2014-02-12 08:17:20 AM  

deanis: [img.fark.net image 236x214]
[img.fark.net image 225x224]


I had friends who would drink Surge from a 2L......warm.

rocinante721: I LIKED CRYSTAL PEPSI !!!

Also, SNAPPLE started out as a soda company with clear sodas (root beer is not supposed to be brown).


I dunno WTF Subby is going on about because I farking loved Crystal Pepsi. Used to drink it during the summer at my grandparents house all the time.
 
2014-02-12 08:19:43 AM  
WHAR PEPSI KONA? WHA?
 
2014-02-12 08:20:07 AM  

Dhoogall: Weird little bit of trivia, I was in some of the initial focus groups for what later turned out to be Crystal Pepsi.  I liked it, especially when they tweaked the formula and added more citrus.


I liked it when it first came out, but after they tweaked it, I found it disgusting.
 
2014-02-12 08:20:19 AM  

bmr68: xenophon10k: "Most of our customers have literally had their synapses fried by an over-abundance of selection in the soda aisle," Draper continued. "We feel like Crystal Pepsi can attract both nostalgic hipsters who will drink it ironically and the genuinely confused. It's a winning combination for us."

Hmm...let me just click the "About" link...

Q. Are your news stories 100% accurate?
A. Yes, because they are 100% satirical.

Subby's fail wears a hypercolor shirt.

Hyper color was a late '80s fad.


It straddled the line, but it peaked in 1991. Fizzled out by 92 as I recall.
 
2014-02-12 08:20:55 AM  

dentalhilljack: darkjezter: Anybody remember Zima?  It was a clear alcopop beverage made by Coors brewing company during the clear beverage craze of the 1990s.  It was marketed as a "manly alternative" to wine coolers for men who didn't like the taste of beer.  It was very successful for its first year, but to Coors' horror most of its' drinkers were 20-something women.  Then it became the butt of jokes by comedians by David Letterman who portrayed it as a sissy drink for girly men.  Coors stopped advertising it after that, but surprisingly it remained on store shelves for a decade before they quietly stopped selling it domestically.  Apparently you can still get it in Japan.

I never tried it because I was like 14 years old when it came out (I didn't have my first drink until I was 19. Late bloomer, I know).  But I've heard it was farking gross.

That shiat was gross, although I remember some people putting Jolly Ranchers in the bottle to make it supposedly taste better.


Jolly Ranchers? In my area it was Chambord. French Raspberry liquor.  You added a half shot of that to a bottle of Zima.
 
2014-02-12 08:22:04 AM  

Wendy's Chili: WHAR PEPSI KONA? WHA?


PEPSI KONA?!?!

This thread has informed me of a great many things I have never heard of.
 
2014-02-12 08:25:18 AM  

darkjezter: Anybody remember Zima?


*shudder*

I live in a college town, and it amuses me to no end to refer to any clear, carbonated malt beverage as Zima. Bros with their barbed wire tattoos have no idea how ridiculous it makes them look to drink that crap.
 
2014-02-12 08:31:21 AM  
I wish Dublin Dr Pepper would return to stores.
 
2014-02-12 08:32:02 AM  

t3knomanser: mamoru: Well, if 90s nostalgia isn't a thing, it ought to be. The 90s were pretty good for the most part.

You're just remembering the good parts. On the balance, the 90s sucked. Mind you, that applies to pretty much any decade.


I love the 90s (Class of 96')
However for every Pearl Jam: Ten, Soundgarden: Bad Motor Finger or Alice in Chains: Dirt
There were dozens of this type of schlock
images.ctvdigital.com
Rico Sauve

\Loved Crystal Pepsi
\\Had HyperColor
 
2014-02-12 08:32:33 AM  

TopoGigo: Bros with their barbed wire tattoos have no idea how ridiculous it makes them look to drink that crap.


Fixed that
 
2014-02-12 08:33:58 AM  

rocinante721: I LIKED CRYSTAL PEPSI !!!

Also, SNAPPLE started out as a soda company with clear sodas (root beer is not supposed to be brown).


As someone who's made home-made root beer, yes it is.
 
2014-02-12 08:34:51 AM  

vudukungfu: TopoGigo: Bros with their barbed wire tattoos have no idea how ridiculous it makes them look to drink that crap.

Fixed that


Fair point. I suppose Mike's Hard Dick is pretty low on the list of things that make them look stupid. Seriously, pink shirts?
 
2014-02-12 08:35:20 AM  
Begone with this Crystal Pepsi nonsense! Bring me a case of Clearly Canadian, the boysenberry flavor!
 
2014-02-12 08:37:16 AM  
Ok so their not bringing back Crystal Pepsi :(
How about New York Seltzer

b.vimeocdn.com
 
2014-02-12 08:40:53 AM  
I got your 90s nostalgia right here, or whatever...

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2014-02-12 08:45:59 AM  
"OK Soda had a more "citric" taste then Traditional colas.."
" It has also been compared to what is known as "suicide", "swampwater" or "graveyard", "

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/OK_Soda
 
2014-02-12 08:48:36 AM  

Space Station Wagon: Ok so their not bringing back Crystal Pepsi :(
How about New York Seltzer

[b.vimeocdn.com image 640x427]


Your jibs, I like their cut
 
2014-02-12 08:51:53 AM  

Space Station Wagon: Ok so their not bringing back Crystal Pepsi :(
How about New York Seltzer

[b.vimeocdn.com image 640x427]


i was a HUGE seltzer fan during that time period, but for some reason when thinking back i just think of clearly canadian. i have a friend (one of the most naively straight-laced pentacostal people i've ever known) who was pulled over because the cop thought her clearly canadian bottle was an alcoholic beverage.

despite my failed memory up until this post, ny seltzer was the best!

puckrock2000: I got your 90s nostalgia right here, or whatever...

[upload.wikimedia.org image 703x311]


oh my, many a phone called to 1-800-ifeelok occured in h.s.
 
2014-02-12 08:52:08 AM  

Space Station Wagon: Ok so their not bringing back Crystal Pepsi :(
How about New York Seltzer

[b.vimeocdn.com image 640x427]


Man, I loved that stuff. Of course, I was almost never allowed to drink pop as a kid, so I don't know if my corn-syrup coated taste buds would appreciate the taste anymore.
 
2014-02-12 09:03:49 AM  

darkjezter: Anybody remember Zima?  It was a clear alcopop beverage made by Coors brewing company during the clear beverage craze of the 1990s.  It was marketed as a "manly alternative" to wine coolers for men who didn't like the taste of beer.  It was very successful for its first year, but to Coors' horror most of its' drinkers were 20-something women.  Then it became the butt of jokes by comedians by David Letterman who portrayed it as a sissy drink for girly men.  Coors stopped advertising it after that, but surprisingly it remained on store shelves for a decade before they quietly stopped selling it domestically.  Apparently you can still get it in Japan.

I never tried it because I was like 14 years old when it came out (I didn't have my first drink until I was 19. Late bloomer, I know).  But I've heard it was farking gross.


My friends, about your age at the time, would put Jolly Ranchers in the Zima and said it was good.
 
2014-02-12 09:18:47 AM  

dentalhilljack: darkjezter: Anybody remember Zima?  It was a clear alcopop beverage made by Coors brewing company during the clear beverage craze of the 1990s.  It was marketed as a "manly alternative" to wine coolers for men who didn't like the taste of beer.  It was very successful for its first year, but to Coors' horror most of its' drinkers were 20-something women.  Then it became the butt of jokes by comedians by David Letterman who portrayed it as a sissy drink for girly men.  Coors stopped advertising it after that, but surprisingly it remained on store shelves for a decade before they quietly stopped selling it domestically.  Apparently you can still get it in Japan.

I never tried it because I was like 14 years old when it came out (I didn't have my first drink until I was 19. Late bloomer, I know).  But I've heard it was farking gross.

That shiat was gross, although I remember some people putting Jolly Ranchers in the bottle to make it supposedly taste better.


WinoRhino: Jolly Ranchers? In my area it was Chambord. French Raspberry liquor.  You added a half shot of that to a bottle of Zima.


Nemo's Brother: My friends, about your age at the time, would put Jolly Ranchers in the Zima and said it was good.


OK, I thought I remembered that right.  I had Zima once and hated it.  As an underage drinker I had my buddies buy me liquor because I didn't like the taste (which is not surprising when ones first drinking experience is several cups of "jungle juice" at a party where I was one of two Caucasians.  Cue the racist kid gif.)  It wasn't until I turned 21 and could buy my booze at anytime did I begin to appreciate the economics and soon acquired a taste for beer.
 
2014-02-12 09:19:07 AM  
images4.wikia.nocookie.net
"See? I told you Crystal Pepsi would come back."
 
2014-02-12 09:23:25 AM  

t3knomanser: mamoru: Well, if 90s nostalgia isn't a thing, it ought to be. The 90s were pretty good for the most part.

You're just remembering the good parts. On the balance, the 90s sucked. Mind you, that applies to pretty much any decade.


Darth_Lukecash: Sniffers Row:

At least the article didn't go full retard and go with Miller Clear

Wouldn't that be moonshine?

/Just good ole' boys
//Never meanin no harm


That's satire, right? Moonshine may be harsh, but at least it has alcohol in it.

Also, them Duke boys certainly meant know harm during the run of their series...which ended in '85. While they were still in syndication after that, they didn't really pick back up until the semi-failed attempt at a movie in '05. They pretty much skipped the 90's.
 
2014-02-12 09:30:34 AM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Uh... satire tag snowed in?


"Satire" implies a certain amount of humour that this piece pointedly lacks.
 
2014-02-12 09:31:34 AM  
Crystal Pepsi wasn't very good.  I don't really give a shiat if it ever comes back.

What I want them to bring back is Josta.  That shiat was amazing, and there's nothing even close to it available today.

Hear that, Pepsi farktards?  BRING BACK JOSTA!
 
2014-02-12 09:40:43 AM  
Crystal Meth Pepsi would sell better.
 
2014-02-12 09:41:06 AM  

WinoRhino: Wendy's Chili: WHAR PEPSI KONA? WHA?

PEPSI KONA?!?!

This thread has informed me of a great many things I have never heard of.


It was actually quite awesome (IMO). At one point, the only place I could find it was at a 7-11 in Philadelphia. I'd buy a couple six-packs and take back home with me. I got all misty when they stopped selling it.
 
2014-02-12 10:00:02 AM  
Now I'm hungery,

I want some Cheesy Quesadilla Chachos and a ice cold Crystal Pepsi to wash it down.
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-02-12 10:01:28 AM  
I can't wait for the "turn of the century" nostalgia.

/and we can finally settle that end-of-the-century argument
 
2014-02-12 10:01:50 AM  
I had a weird dream once when I was a kid.  The dream consisted of me being at a store that had started carrying two completely new sodas.  One was Coke with Lime and the other was "Kevin Bacon Pepsi" (no idea what this was supposed to be).  Of course, it was absurd, but the day I saw that Coke came out with a lime flavored cola, I got really worried about what Pepsi was up to.
 
2014-02-12 10:05:21 AM  
It is NOT "Lewinsky Goo". It is properly called "the Executive Ejaculate".
 
2014-02-12 10:16:01 AM  

Space Station Wagon: Ok so their not bringing back Crystal Pepsi :(
How about New York Seltzer

[b.vimeocdn.com image 640x427]


Woah, totally forgot about those beverages. Wouldn't mind seeing them again, could make for interesting mixers now that I'm not under the age of 10.
 
2014-02-12 10:27:42 AM  
Wake me up when THIS comes back...

savejosta.dumbdouches.com
 
2014-02-12 10:30:08 AM  
Somebody order retro beverages that might be regretted upon actual tasting?

media.tumblr.com
 
2014-02-12 10:48:35 AM  

Space Station Wagon: Ok so their not bringing back Crystal Pepsi :(
How about New York Seltzer

[b.vimeocdn.com image 640x427]


Used to love that.

SubBass49: Wake me up when THIS comes back...

[savejosta.dumbdouches.com image 295x158]


DEFINITELY THIS!

Man do I miss Josta. But only in the bottles, canned never tasted right.
 
2014-02-12 10:55:45 AM  

Space Station Wagon: Ok so their not bringing back Crystal Pepsi :(
How about New York Seltzer

[b.vimeocdn.com image 640x427]


I loved those. Unfortunately they would get me belching mightily before I even started to drink one. Magic, that.
 
2014-02-12 10:58:30 AM  

deanis:


Fark Surge... as a former Coca Cola bottling employee, that shiat was a biatch to make. Dumping over a thousand pounds of maltodextrin per hour of production run, I was quite happy when they stopped making it.

I do miss Citra though.
 
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