If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(AZ Family)   If your 15-year-old son's room is a-rocking, don't come a-knocking. Unless you want to see a naked 34-year-old woman break her ankle jumping out of your son's second-story window   (azfamily.com) divider line 40
    More: Strange, Marana, San Tan Valley, bedroom window, Tim Gaffney  
•       •       •

20457 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Feb 2014 at 5:42 PM (24 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2014-02-11 05:59:27 PM
7 votes:
 media.azfamily.com

"SNU SNU. NOW!"
2014-02-11 05:56:52 PM
6 votes:
A 34-year-old Marana woman jumped out of a second-story window after she was found naked in the bedroom of a 15-year-old boy, according to the Pinal County Sheriff's Office.


whoa.  some context here, folks.  not only did your boy fark her crazy, this is how addicted to the cock she was;  marana is about, ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, 45 minutes AT BEST from STV.  STV is on the southeasatern outskirts of metro phoenix, Marana a newish subdivision on the outskirts of Tucson.  I'm guessing the closest STV point to the closest Marana point is probably as the crow flies, much less the surface streets  / I-10, probably 60-65 miles.

in other words, when she needed the dick, she needed.  the.  dick.girl be fiending.  FIENDING.  Succubus.  when he hit those digits, your girl was on a mission.  no, not a mission of mercy, but a  mission of jizz.

According to PCSO spokesman Tim Gaffney, the teen's mother was sleeping on Jan. 21 when she heard "knocking a rhythmic slapping sound, with a note of "squishiness", and soft, dovelike coos, with what sounded like "give that shiat to me, papito, it's too good, papito its so big, papi gimme that shiat papito ay!" sounds by the stairs and on the wall" of her San Tan Valley home at about 2 a.m.
2014-02-11 05:51:32 PM
5 votes:
If you do something really, really stupid, plan your escape well.  If you jump from a high place you might, as did this lady, break your ankle and really screw up your admittedly half-assed, slapdick "escape" plan.

with love,
J.W. Booth
2014-02-11 06:55:04 PM
4 votes:
CSB(?)

I was 16 working at Braum's and she was 23.  She told me she was 18 and, at 16, I would have stuck it in anything...hell, my dog was looking sexy at one point (no...I didn't).  Anyway, she came onto me, invited me back to her place and we had sex all night and then all the next day until I have a D&D/BBS gathering to get to.  She was my first.

Then I learned she was psycho.

During the course of our 14 month relationship (parents couldn't have cared less - fact,not emotional outpouring), she tried to have me have sex with her and her cousin (no...not hot), I caught her having sex with her best friend (female...hot as fark!), she introduced me to anal once and I didn't like it, watched porn together and so many other little things.

She and I were in bed when I heard the front door open and she started giggling.  "This should be fun," she said as she sat up.  Confused, of course, I asked her what's up and she told me, laughing the whole time, that her husband was back from overseas but "not to worry, he's got a broken foot so he can't catch you if you run!"

I jumped out that friggin' second story window and never looked back.
2014-02-11 06:20:32 PM
4 votes:

gideon: [media.azfamily.com image 469x264]

"SNU SNU. NOW!"


i306.photobucket.com
2014-02-11 05:56:20 PM
4 votes:
For bonus points, was she carrying one of those Taco Bell "Portable Nachos?"
2014-02-11 05:51:03 PM
4 votes:

Occam's Disposable Razor: Katolu: That's some evil intent in her eyes. The boy done stuck it crazy.

I want to see a study of what type of behaviors/personalities are correlated with a nose ring in females. The women I've been with who had one have been fun.


The one I dated was really sweet for about a month, then became a whack job. Or she was a whack job and acted sweet to lure me in. Or I made her a whack job. Whack job.
2014-02-11 05:46:11 PM
4 votes:

Boojum2k: lennavan: Unless you want to see a naked 34-year-old woman break her ankle jumping out of your son's second-story window

Uh, yeah, actually I do.

Eh. She's not coyote ugly, but she ain't hot.


For a 15 year old? She's a 10.
2014-02-11 06:08:36 PM
3 votes:
man.  she remidns me someone i know.  can't palce it.

i'm not saying she's hot, but, she isn't thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat unattractive.  i bet she cleans up ok.  and christ, when i was fifteen, jesus, if i thought a girl glanced at my hog i'd be blowing loads.  a grown ass female, admittedly not the hottest, but an actual live woman letting me smash it?  twice?

i liek adam carolla's joke about this sitaution, when the hottish / not fugly older adult woman has sex with a juvenile male:  "my question as the defense attorney, cross examining hte victim:  since this 'attack', have you, uhh,.....you know.  have you ever, uh, masturbated to the memory?"  'Of course!  i'm a 15 yr old boy!"

"ladies and gentlemen of the jury, how can my client be guilty of crime that has given this young man hours and hours, and hours of pleasure?"
2014-02-11 05:53:44 PM
3 votes:
Lesson: the downside to having sex with older people is that their bones get increasingly brittle with age.
2014-02-11 05:47:56 PM
3 votes:

"The teen said he and Gonzalez had sex twice that evening before his mother caught them in bed."


So, ten seconds of sex?

2014-02-11 05:33:05 PM
3 votes:
i60.tinypic.com
2014-02-11 05:08:18 PM
3 votes:
img713.imageshack.us
2014-02-11 06:47:40 PM
2 votes:
But soft, what leg through yonder window breaks?
It is the east, and Keri is on the run.
Arise, fair mum, and kill the envious moon,
Who is already sick and pale with grief
That thou, mom, art dat ass.
2014-02-11 06:21:57 PM
2 votes:
why cant the kid leave the neighbor alone and do it with a teacher at school like other good kids.  i just can't understand.
2014-02-11 06:04:52 PM
2 votes:

AirForceVet: Maybe Mom wanted to see her son naked with a woody?


Is this another story about Stephanie Seymour?
2014-02-11 06:01:50 PM
2 votes:

rickythepenguin: A 34-year-old Marana woman jumped out of a second-story window after she was found naked in the bedroom of a 15-year-old boy, according to the Pinal County Sheriff's Office.


whoa.  some context here, folks.  not only did your boy fark her crazy, this is how addicted to the cock she was;  marana is about, ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, 45 minutes AT BEST from STV.  STV is on the southeasatern outskirts of metro phoenix, Marana a newish subdivision on the outskirts of Tucson.  I'm guessing the closest STV point to the closest Marana point is probably as the crow flies, much less the surface streets  / I-10, probably 60-65 miles.

in other words, when she needed the dick, she needed.  the.  dick.girl be fiending.  FIENDING.  Succubus.  when he hit those digits, your girl was on a mission.  no, not a mission of mercy, but a  mission of jizz.

According to PCSO spokesman Tim Gaffney, the teen's mother was sleeping on Jan. 21 when she heard "knocking a rhythmic slapping sound, with a note of "squishiness", and soft, dovelike coos, with what sounded like "give that shiat to me, papito, it's too good, papito its so big, papi gimme that shiat papito ay!" sounds by the stairs and on the wall" of her San Tan Valley home at about 2 a.m.



So, drunk already then.  Hopefully you're on the east coast, where it's after 5p already.
2014-02-11 05:52:47 PM
2 votes:
img.fark.net
/Oblig
2014-02-11 05:51:16 PM
2 votes:
I remember when I could do it twice in a night.

-barely
2014-02-11 05:35:23 PM
2 votes:
Unless you want to see a naked 34-year-old woman break her ankle jumping out of your son's second-story window

Uh, yeah, actually I do.
2014-02-12 02:13:39 AM
1 votes:

rickythepenguin: A 34-year-old Marana woman jumped out of a second-story window after she was found naked in the bedroom of a 15-year-old boy, according to the Pinal County Sheriff's Office.

in other words, when she needed the dick, she needed.  the.  dick.girl be fiending.  FIENDING.  Succubus.  when he hit those digits, your girl was on a mission.  no, not a mission of mercy, but a  mission of jizz.


Mission of Jizz... My new band name.
2014-02-11 09:24:07 PM
1 votes:

433: Was the mugshot camera two feet above her head?


No that's a photo from the kid's phone
2014-02-11 09:22:30 PM
1 votes:
Gee thanks mom.
2014-02-11 09:21:07 PM
1 votes:
Now mom gets a lawsuit from the woman who broke her ankle on her property.
2014-02-11 07:58:46 PM
1 votes:

WhoGAS: CSB(?)

I was 16 working at Braum's and she was 23.  She told me she was 18 and, at 16, I would have stuck it in anything...hell, my dog was looking sexy at one point (no...I didn't).  Anyway, she came onto me, invited me back to her place and we had sex all night and then all the next day until I have a D&D/BBS gathering to get to.  She was my first.

Then I learned she was psycho.

During the course of our 14 month relationship (parents couldn't have cared less - fact,not emotional outpouring), she tried to have me have sex with her and her cousin (no...not hot), I caught her having sex with her best friend (female...hot as fark!), she introduced me to anal once and I didn't like it, watched porn together and so many other little things.

She and I were in bed when I heard the front door open and she started giggling.  "This should be fun," she said as she sat up.  Confused, of course, I asked her what's up and she told me, laughing the whole time, that her husband was back from overseas but "not to worry, he's got a broken foot so he can't catch you if you run!"

I jumped out that friggin' second story window and never looked back.



Why didn't you like it? Did she go in dry?
2014-02-11 07:38:17 PM
1 votes:

James10952001: I approve.


dl.dropboxusercontent.com

...We looking at the same picture here, or what?

/Thats a rough 34.
2014-02-11 07:32:31 PM
1 votes:
Thank you, God!
2014-02-11 07:32:16 PM
1 votes:

WhoGAS: CSB(?)

I was 16 working at Braum's and she was 23.  She told me she was 18 and, at 16, I would have stuck it in anything...hell, my dog was looking sexy at one point (no...I didn't).  Anyway, she came onto me, invited me back to her place and we had sex all night and then all the next day until I have a D&D/BBS gathering to get to.  She was my first.

Then I learned she was psycho.

During the course of our 14 month relationship (parents couldn't have cared less - fact,not emotional outpouring), she tried to have me have sex with her and her cousin (no...not hot), I caught her having sex with her best friend (female...hot as fark!), she introduced me to anal once and I didn't like it, watched porn together and so many other little things.

She and I were in bed when I heard the front door open and she started giggling.  "This should be fun," she said as she sat up.  Confused, of course, I asked her what's up and she told me, laughing the whole time, that her husband was back from overseas but "not to worry, he's got a broken foot so he can't catch you if you run!"

I jumped out that friggin' second story window and never looked back.


Dear Penthouse Forum,

You're not going to believe this...

/do they still make Penthouse Forum? Who would read it?
2014-02-11 07:20:58 PM
1 votes:

skinink: "The teen said he and Gonzalez had sex twice that evening before his mother caught them in bed."
So, ten seconds of sex?


Ha, maybe the first time, but 15 minutes later, lasted for a good long time. (And that is what she said.)

The kid should have said "Mom, can't I masturbate without you bothering me? Are you some kind of pervert? Quit banging on my door."
2014-02-11 07:13:39 PM
1 votes:
Heard Jammin' on the stereo...

assets-s3.rollingstone.com
2014-02-11 06:39:16 PM
1 votes:
Poor boy, however will he get over the trauma of being raped. We should make sure that this boy has the best psychiatrists to help him with his emotional problems and low self esteem as a result of this abuse
2014-02-11 06:35:53 PM
1 votes:

Boojum2k: lennavan: Unless you want to see a naked 34-year-old woman break her ankle jumping out of your son's second-story window

Uh, yeah, actually I do.

Eh. She's not coyote ugly, but she ain't hot.


She's certainly no Mary Kay Latourneau, but maybe the kid's a big fan of Eddie Izzard.
2014-02-11 06:33:43 PM
1 votes:

Astorix: Why would a 34 year old want to bang a 15 year old?


Because she's 15?
2014-02-11 06:27:36 PM
1 votes:
I slammed a 32 year old when I was 16, but I had enough sense to borrow the car and hit it in a parking lot.
2014-02-11 06:24:14 PM
1 votes:
Fattie McFatterson.  No wonder he ankle couldn't support her.
2014-02-11 06:23:14 PM
1 votes:

JoieD'Zen: 2wolves: The dirty thirties can be a wonderful time in a women's life.

No kidding. I recall mine fondly. I did some young ones but never under 21. Standards and such.
Her mistake was going back to the house.


Well, chances are that her car keys were with her clothing, still up in the bedroom.   Butt naked, limping to the car at 2am, and "FARK!"  Bang on the steering wheel for a few minutes, then limp back for the clothes and keys.
2014-02-11 06:08:04 PM
1 votes:
The dirty thirties can be a wonderful time in a women's life.
2014-02-11 06:02:38 PM
1 votes:

433: Was the mugshot camera two feet above her head?


I assume she was sitting. Broken ankle and all.
2014-02-11 05:56:28 PM
1 votes:

skinink: "The teen said he and Gonzalez had sex twice that evening before his mother caught them in bed."
So, ten seconds of sex?



Even still, he was going for the hat-trick.

Not bad.
2014-02-11 05:47:59 PM
1 votes:
Sexual Misconduct with a Minor? Seems....reasonable, actually.

Why wasn't she charged with RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPE!

Oh I get it, wrong gender arrangement.
 
Displayed 40 of 40 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report