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(AZ Family)   If your 15-year-old son's room is a-rocking, don't come a-knocking. Unless you want to see a naked 34-year-old woman break her ankle jumping out of your son's second-story window   (azfamily.com) divider line 131
    More: Strange, Marana, San Tan Valley, bedroom window, Tim Gaffney  
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20506 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Feb 2014 at 5:42 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



131 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-02-11 05:08:18 PM  
img713.imageshack.us
 
2014-02-11 05:12:47 PM  
Maybe Mom wanted to see her son naked with a woody?
 
2014-02-11 05:33:05 PM  
i60.tinypic.com
 
2014-02-11 05:35:23 PM  
Unless you want to see a naked 34-year-old woman break her ankle jumping out of your son's second-story window

Uh, yeah, actually I do.
 
2014-02-11 05:43:41 PM  

lennavan: Unless you want to see a naked 34-year-old woman break her ankle jumping out of your son's second-story window

Uh, yeah, actually I do.


Eh. She's not coyote ugly, but she ain't hot.
 
2014-02-11 05:45:13 PM  
Crazy eyes.
 
2014-02-11 05:46:02 PM  
That's some evil intent in her eyes. The boy done stuck it crazy.
 
2014-02-11 05:46:11 PM  

Boojum2k: lennavan: Unless you want to see a naked 34-year-old woman break her ankle jumping out of your son's second-story window

Uh, yeah, actually I do.

Eh. She's not coyote ugly, but she ain't hot.


For a 15 year old? She's a 10.
 
2014-02-11 05:47:56 PM  

"The teen said he and Gonzalez had sex twice that evening before his mother caught them in bed."


So, ten seconds of sex?

 
2014-02-11 05:47:59 PM  
Sexual Misconduct with a Minor? Seems....reasonable, actually.

Why wasn't she charged with RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPE!

Oh I get it, wrong gender arrangement.
 
2014-02-11 05:48:12 PM  

Katolu: That's some evil intent in her eyes. The boy done stuck it crazy.


I want to see a study of what type of behaviors/personalities are correlated with a nose ring in females. The women I've been with who had one have been fun.
 
2014-02-11 05:51:03 PM  

Occam's Disposable Razor: Katolu: That's some evil intent in her eyes. The boy done stuck it crazy.

I want to see a study of what type of behaviors/personalities are correlated with a nose ring in females. The women I've been with who had one have been fun.


The one I dated was really sweet for about a month, then became a whack job. Or she was a whack job and acted sweet to lure me in. Or I made her a whack job. Whack job.
 
2014-02-11 05:51:16 PM  
I remember when I could do it twice in a night.

-barely
 
2014-02-11 05:51:32 PM  
If you do something really, really stupid, plan your escape well.  If you jump from a high place you might, as did this lady, break your ankle and really screw up your admittedly half-assed, slapdick "escape" plan.

with love,
J.W. Booth
 
2014-02-11 05:52:47 PM  
img.fark.net
/Oblig
 
2014-02-11 05:53:20 PM  
Ah, Marana. Such a classy area.

Isn't San Tan up near Phoenix? That's a long drive for some sexual misconduct.
 
2014-02-11 05:53:44 PM  
Lesson: the downside to having sex with older people is that their bones get increasingly brittle with age.
 
2014-02-11 05:55:58 PM  
Sent her to the Pinal Jail did they ?
 
2014-02-11 05:56:20 PM  
For bonus points, was she carrying one of those Taco Bell "Portable Nachos?"
 
2014-02-11 05:56:28 PM  

skinink: "The teen said he and Gonzalez had sex twice that evening before his mother caught them in bed."
So, ten seconds of sex?



Even still, he was going for the hat-trick.

Not bad.
 
2014-02-11 05:56:52 PM  
A 34-year-old Marana woman jumped out of a second-story window after she was found naked in the bedroom of a 15-year-old boy, according to the Pinal County Sheriff's Office.


whoa.  some context here, folks.  not only did your boy fark her crazy, this is how addicted to the cock she was;  marana is about, ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, 45 minutes AT BEST from STV.  STV is on the southeasatern outskirts of metro phoenix, Marana a newish subdivision on the outskirts of Tucson.  I'm guessing the closest STV point to the closest Marana point is probably as the crow flies, much less the surface streets  / I-10, probably 60-65 miles.

in other words, when she needed the dick, she needed.  the.  dick.girl be fiending.  FIENDING.  Succubus.  when he hit those digits, your girl was on a mission.  no, not a mission of mercy, but a  mission of jizz.

According to PCSO spokesman Tim Gaffney, the teen's mother was sleeping on Jan. 21 when she heard "knocking a rhythmic slapping sound, with a note of "squishiness", and soft, dovelike coos, with what sounded like "give that shiat to me, papito, it's too good, papito its so big, papi gimme that shiat papito ay!" sounds by the stairs and on the wall" of her San Tan Valley home at about 2 a.m.
 
2014-02-11 05:57:14 PM  
GAAAAAAAHHHHH!

BURN IT! BURN IT WITH FIRE!
 
2014-02-11 05:59:27 PM  
 media.azfamily.com

"SNU SNU. NOW!"
 
433 [TotalFark]
2014-02-11 06:00:00 PM  
Was the mugshot camera two feet above her head?
 
2014-02-11 06:01:50 PM  

rickythepenguin: A 34-year-old Marana woman jumped out of a second-story window after she was found naked in the bedroom of a 15-year-old boy, according to the Pinal County Sheriff's Office.


whoa.  some context here, folks.  not only did your boy fark her crazy, this is how addicted to the cock she was;  marana is about, ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, 45 minutes AT BEST from STV.  STV is on the southeasatern outskirts of metro phoenix, Marana a newish subdivision on the outskirts of Tucson.  I'm guessing the closest STV point to the closest Marana point is probably as the crow flies, much less the surface streets  / I-10, probably 60-65 miles.

in other words, when she needed the dick, she needed.  the.  dick.girl be fiending.  FIENDING.  Succubus.  when he hit those digits, your girl was on a mission.  no, not a mission of mercy, but a  mission of jizz.

According to PCSO spokesman Tim Gaffney, the teen's mother was sleeping on Jan. 21 when she heard "knocking a rhythmic slapping sound, with a note of "squishiness", and soft, dovelike coos, with what sounded like "give that shiat to me, papito, it's too good, papito its so big, papi gimme that shiat papito ay!" sounds by the stairs and on the wall" of her San Tan Valley home at about 2 a.m.



So, drunk already then.  Hopefully you're on the east coast, where it's after 5p already.
 
2014-02-11 06:02:38 PM  

433: Was the mugshot camera two feet above her head?


I assume she was sitting. Broken ankle and all.
 
2014-02-11 06:04:52 PM  

AirForceVet: Maybe Mom wanted to see her son naked with a woody?


Is this another story about Stephanie Seymour?
 
2014-02-11 06:08:04 PM  
The dirty thirties can be a wonderful time in a women's life.
 
2014-02-11 06:08:36 PM  
man.  she remidns me someone i know.  can't palce it.

i'm not saying she's hot, but, she isn't thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat unattractive.  i bet she cleans up ok.  and christ, when i was fifteen, jesus, if i thought a girl glanced at my hog i'd be blowing loads.  a grown ass female, admittedly not the hottest, but an actual live woman letting me smash it?  twice?

i liek adam carolla's joke about this sitaution, when the hottish / not fugly older adult woman has sex with a juvenile male:  "my question as the defense attorney, cross examining hte victim:  since this 'attack', have you, uhh,.....you know.  have you ever, uh, masturbated to the memory?"  'Of course!  i'm a 15 yr old boy!"

"ladies and gentlemen of the jury, how can my client be guilty of crime that has given this young man hours and hours, and hours of pleasure?"
 
433 [TotalFark]
2014-02-11 06:08:43 PM  
BadReligion: 433: Was the mugshot camera two feet above her head?

I assume she was sitting. Broken ankle and all.


Good thinkin'
 
2014-02-11 06:16:00 PM  
So she jumps out the window, limps away and then 45 min later comes back? WTF she got away and then comes over to turn herself in.
 
2014-02-11 06:18:13 PM  

2wolves: The dirty thirties can be a wonderful time in a women's life.


No kidding. I recall mine fondly. I did some young ones but never under 21. Standards and such.
Her mistake was going back to the house.
 
2014-02-11 06:19:31 PM  

TomD9938: skinink: "The teen said he and Gonzalez had sex twice that evening before his mother caught them in bed."
So, ten seconds of sex?


Even still, he was going for the hat-trick.

Not bad.


And SHE brought HIM booze. When you were 15 (or hell EVER) did you have a woman bring you booze then sexytime???
 
2014-02-11 06:19:52 PM  

groppet: So she jumps out the window, limps away and then 45 min later comes back? WTF she got away and then comes over to turn herself in.


Probably hoping to get the homeowner to pony up for her medical bills with the homeowners insurance.
 
2014-02-11 06:20:32 PM  

gideon: [media.azfamily.com image 469x264]

"SNU SNU. NOW!"


i306.photobucket.com
 
2014-02-11 06:20:54 PM  

DarthBart: groppet: So she jumps out the window, limps away and then 45 min later comes back? WTF she got away and then comes over to turn herself in.

Probably hoping to get the homeowner to pony up for her medical bills with the homeowners insurance.


So crazy it might work.
 
2014-02-11 06:21:57 PM  
why cant the kid leave the neighbor alone and do it with a teacher at school like other good kids.  i just can't understand.
 
2014-02-11 06:23:04 PM  
Why would a 34 year old want to bang a 15 year old?
 
2014-02-11 06:23:14 PM  

JoieD'Zen: 2wolves: The dirty thirties can be a wonderful time in a women's life.

No kidding. I recall mine fondly. I did some young ones but never under 21. Standards and such.
Her mistake was going back to the house.


Well, chances are that her car keys were with her clothing, still up in the bedroom.   Butt naked, limping to the car at 2am, and "FARK!"  Bang on the steering wheel for a few minutes, then limp back for the clothes and keys.
 
2014-02-11 06:24:14 PM  
Fattie McFatterson.  No wonder he ankle couldn't support her.
 
2014-02-11 06:25:50 PM  

skinink: "The teen said he and Gonzalez had sex twice that evening before his mother caught them in bed."
So, ten seconds of sex?


Sure, but by morning they could be up to 2 minutes. He's 15. You take the good with the bad.
 
2014-02-11 06:27:09 PM  

Astorix: Why would a 34 year old want to bang a 15 year old?


Because she's crazy?
 
2014-02-11 06:27:36 PM  
I slammed a 32 year old when I was 16, but I had enough sense to borrow the car and hit it in a parking lot.
 
2014-02-11 06:29:03 PM  

23FPB23: Sexual Misconduct with a Minor? Seems....reasonable, actually.

Why wasn't she charged with RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPE!

Oh I get it, wrong gender arrangement.


The state of Arizona no longer uses the term "rape ", but it has replaced it with sexual abuse or sexual assault.
/TMYK
 
2014-02-11 06:30:28 PM  

Astorix: Why would a 34 year old want to bang a 15 year old?


You gotta get before their backs start sprouting thick, luxurious hair.
 
2014-02-11 06:32:19 PM  

Astorix: Why would a 34 year old want to bang a 15 year old?


They say that's when Olympic gymnasts hit their peak of ability.
 
2014-02-11 06:33:43 PM  

Astorix: Why would a 34 year old want to bang a 15 year old?


Because she's 15?
 
2014-02-11 06:35:53 PM  

Boojum2k: lennavan: Unless you want to see a naked 34-year-old woman break her ankle jumping out of your son's second-story window

Uh, yeah, actually I do.

Eh. She's not coyote ugly, but she ain't hot.


She's certainly no Mary Kay Latourneau, but maybe the kid's a big fan of Eddie Izzard.
 
2014-02-11 06:37:39 PM  

23FPB23: Sexual Misconduct with a Minor? Seems....reasonable, actually.

Why wasn't she charged with RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPE!

Oh I get it, wrong gender arrangement.


She'll probably get stuck on the sex offender registry, for statutory rape of a minor. That's what I would do if I were the judge, 'cause fair's fair.

on a side-note, what is wrong with these adult women going after 15 year old boys?!? Ladies just go to a bar and snag an adult man, if you're that hard up.

\feminist
 
2014-02-11 06:39:16 PM  
Poor boy, however will he get over the trauma of being raped. We should make sure that this boy has the best psychiatrists to help him with his emotional problems and low self esteem as a result of this abuse
 
2014-02-11 06:40:21 PM  

Egalitarian: 23FPB23: Sexual Misconduct with a Minor? Seems....reasonable, actually.

Why wasn't she charged with RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPE!

Oh I get it, wrong gender arrangement.

She'll probably get stuck on the sex offender registry, for statutory rape of a minor. That's what I would do if I were the judge, 'cause fair's fair.

on a side-note, what is wrong with these adult women going after 15 year old boys?!? Ladies just go to a bar and snag an adult man, if you're that hard up.

\feminist


She wanted a 15-year-old boy who looks at her with bewilderment and treats their sex like its the best sec he's ever had, because face it its the only sex he has ever had. Young and wild is better than old and bitter any day.
 
2014-02-11 06:40:45 PM  

Egalitarian: 23FPB23: Sexual Misconduct with a Minor? Seems....reasonable, actually.

Why wasn't she charged with RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPE!

Oh I get it, wrong gender arrangement.

She'll probably get stuck on the sex offender registry, for statutory rape of a minor. That's what I would do if I were the judge, 'cause fair's fair.

on a side-note, what is wrong with these adult women going after 15 year old boys?!? Ladies just go to a bar and snag an adult man, if you're that hard up.

\feminist


It's the same reason people insist on buying a puppy, rather than adopting a shelter dog.  They want somebody they can train up and mold into their very own.
 
2014-02-11 06:42:13 PM  

23FPB23: Sexual Misconduct with a Minor? Seems....reasonable, actually.

Why wasn't she charged with RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPE!

Oh I get it, wrong gender arrangement.



Quite frankly I'm ok with this double standard. Has a dude ever really regretted and been traumatized by any sex, ever.
 
2014-02-11 06:42:38 PM  

lasercannon: Poor boy, however will he get over the trauma of being raped. We should make sure that this boy has the best psychiatrists to help him with his emotional problems and low self esteem as a result of this abuse


As he will suffer from this trauma for life, and he will be informed of this fact in the all of the followup therapy sessions.
 
2014-02-11 06:44:51 PM  

2wolves: The dirty thirties can be a wonderful time in a women's life.


No kidding.  Wifey is 33 and the times have been niiiiiiiiice for the past couple of years.

/cradle rob I did
 
2014-02-11 06:47:40 PM  
But soft, what leg through yonder window breaks?
It is the east, and Keri is on the run.
Arise, fair mum, and kill the envious moon,
Who is already sick and pale with grief
That thou, mom, art dat ass.
 
2014-02-11 06:51:25 PM  
Unless she's his teacher, she's got a lot of explaining to do.
 
2014-02-11 06:52:51 PM  
She looks like she has severe ankle pain in that mug shot.
 
2014-02-11 06:54:06 PM  

minuslars: 23FPB23: Sexual Misconduct with a Minor? Seems....reasonable, actually.

Why wasn't she charged with RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPE!

Oh I get it, wrong gender arrangement.


Quite frankly I'm ok with this double standard. Has a dude ever really regretted and been traumatized by any sex, ever.


Normally, I'm with you 100%.
But look at her picture, and tell me that isn't a sexual predator - they don't only come in "male", you know.
 
2014-02-11 06:55:04 PM  
CSB(?)

I was 16 working at Braum's and she was 23.  She told me she was 18 and, at 16, I would have stuck it in anything...hell, my dog was looking sexy at one point (no...I didn't).  Anyway, she came onto me, invited me back to her place and we had sex all night and then all the next day until I have a D&D/BBS gathering to get to.  She was my first.

Then I learned she was psycho.

During the course of our 14 month relationship (parents couldn't have cared less - fact,not emotional outpouring), she tried to have me have sex with her and her cousin (no...not hot), I caught her having sex with her best friend (female...hot as fark!), she introduced me to anal once and I didn't like it, watched porn together and so many other little things.

She and I were in bed when I heard the front door open and she started giggling.  "This should be fun," she said as she sat up.  Confused, of course, I asked her what's up and she told me, laughing the whole time, that her husband was back from overseas but "not to worry, he's got a broken foot so he can't catch you if you run!"

I jumped out that friggin' second story window and never looked back.
 
2014-02-11 06:56:45 PM  

minuslars: 23FPB23: Sexual Misconduct with a Minor? Seems....reasonable, actually.

Why wasn't she charged with RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPE!

Oh I get it, wrong gender arrangement.


Quite frankly I'm ok with this double standard. Has a dude ever really regretted and been traumatized by any sex, ever.


Yea,  probably a lot more often than you think.  A lot of times these situations come about from kids who are already a bit/lot messed up and this type of dysfunction is just an extension of that.

I'm not ok with a double standard but I am ok with minor/adult situations in some sort of family court so a judge(couselors etc) can decide if what the level of consent was and the mental state of those involved.  Arbitrary age limits is really stupid.
 
2014-02-11 07:00:09 PM  
Omar is not impressed.
 
2014-02-11 07:01:56 PM  

minuslars: 23FPB23: Sexual Misconduct with a Minor? Seems....reasonable, actually.

Why wasn't she charged with RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPE!

Oh I get it, wrong gender arrangement.


Quite frankly I'm ok with this double standard. Has a dude ever really regretted and been traumatized by any sex, ever.


Yes.
 
2014-02-11 07:05:26 PM  
Where is the petition to see her in full makeup and lingerie? I'm sorry but I can't judge her until I see that.
 
2014-02-11 07:06:16 PM  
Parkour!
 
2014-02-11 07:10:10 PM  
How come they didn't have second-story windows when I was 15?
 
2014-02-11 07:13:39 PM  
Heard Jammin' on the stereo...

assets-s3.rollingstone.com
 
2014-02-11 07:15:19 PM  

433: Was the mugshot camera two feet above her head?


Myspace angle.

/ didn't work
 
2014-02-11 07:19:56 PM  

IRQ12: minuslars: 23FPB23: Sexual Misconduct with a Minor? Seems....reasonable, actually.

Why wasn't she charged with RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPE!

Oh I get it, wrong gender arrangement.


Quite frankly I'm ok with this double standard. Has a dude ever really regretted and been traumatized by any sex, ever.

Yea,  probably a lot more often than you think.  A lot of times these situations come about from kids who are already a bit/lot messed up and this type of dysfunction is just an extension of that.

I'm not ok with a double standard but I am ok with minor/adult situations in some sort of family court so a judge(couselors etc) can decide if what the level of consent was and the mental state of those involved.  Arbitrary age limits is really stupid.


The ONLY standard that makes ANY sense is: Post Puberty - Anything Goes.

Yeah, if there's grass on the field, play ball.

Srsly. Maybe civil liability if a coercive power dynamic is present, but otherwise nature is as nature does. And it's not like this would benefit me at all. Not now anyway. But when I was in my teens, things...happened...a couple times with somewhat older and slightly youngers. Whatever. Once the hormones kick in, unless there's coercion, oh farking well. Deal with it. It's not like relationships magically become all easy at day 6206 of your life.
 
2014-02-11 07:20:58 PM  

skinink: "The teen said he and Gonzalez had sex twice that evening before his mother caught them in bed."
So, ten seconds of sex?


Ha, maybe the first time, but 15 minutes later, lasted for a good long time. (And that is what she said.)

The kid should have said "Mom, can't I masturbate without you bothering me? Are you some kind of pervert? Quit banging on my door."
 
2014-02-11 07:22:24 PM  

minuslars: 23FPB23: Sexual Misconduct with a Minor? Seems....reasonable, actually.

Why wasn't she charged with RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPE!

Oh I get it, wrong gender arrangement.


Quite frankly I'm ok with this double standard. Has a dude ever really regretted and been traumatized by any sex, ever.


Let me guess, you're a banjo player.
 
2014-02-11 07:22:52 PM  
She was in his room playing with his erector set. Not a single, a set.
 
2014-02-11 07:28:15 PM  

baconbeard: minuslars: 23FPB23: Sexual Misconduct with a Minor? Seems....reasonable, actually.

Why wasn't she charged with RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPE!

Oh I get it, wrong gender arrangement.


Quite frankly I'm ok with this double standard. Has a dude ever really regretted and been traumatized by any sex, ever.

Yes.


Whatevs. I'm late 30s and can be traumatized. Fact is, since I sprouted pubes, unless I'm coerced, it's my farking decision. So tough farking shiat you crypto-sex-facist.
 
2014-02-11 07:28:27 PM  
I approve.

Double standard? Yep!

*looks at picture*

Gah! I'm gonna guess the guy is no prize either though. When I was 15 I ha several friends my age who had slept with cute older women. Jealous to this day.
 
2014-02-11 07:32:16 PM  

WhoGAS: CSB(?)

I was 16 working at Braum's and she was 23.  She told me she was 18 and, at 16, I would have stuck it in anything...hell, my dog was looking sexy at one point (no...I didn't).  Anyway, she came onto me, invited me back to her place and we had sex all night and then all the next day until I have a D&D/BBS gathering to get to.  She was my first.

Then I learned she was psycho.

During the course of our 14 month relationship (parents couldn't have cared less - fact,not emotional outpouring), she tried to have me have sex with her and her cousin (no...not hot), I caught her having sex with her best friend (female...hot as fark!), she introduced me to anal once and I didn't like it, watched porn together and so many other little things.

She and I were in bed when I heard the front door open and she started giggling.  "This should be fun," she said as she sat up.  Confused, of course, I asked her what's up and she told me, laughing the whole time, that her husband was back from overseas but "not to worry, he's got a broken foot so he can't catch you if you run!"

I jumped out that friggin' second story window and never looked back.


Dear Penthouse Forum,

You're not going to believe this...

/do they still make Penthouse Forum? Who would read it?
 
2014-02-11 07:32:31 PM  
Thank you, God!
 
2014-02-11 07:35:24 PM  

minuslars: 23FPB23: Sexual Misconduct with a Minor? Seems....reasonable, actually.

Why wasn't she charged with RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPE!

Oh I get it, wrong gender arrangement.


Quite frankly I'm ok with this double standard. Has a dude ever really regretted and been traumatized by any sex, ever.


Incest, maybe situations when the male was really young, but a post-pubescent male, no std acquired and no pregnancy, regret can't be common.

Hell when I was 15 I thought about sex constantly and had the stamina to go twice a day every day of the week. Only problem was the only girl I knew how to get at the time was Rosy Palm.

If I knew then what I know now...
 
2014-02-11 07:37:17 PM  

WhoGAS: CSB(?)

I was 16 working at Braum's and she was 23.  She told me she was 18 and, at 16, I would have stuck it in anything...hell, my dog was looking sexy at one point (no...I didn't).  Anyway, she came onto me, invited me back to her place and we had sex all night and then all the next day until I have a D&D/BBS gathering to get to.  She was my first.

Then I learned she was psycho.

During the course of our 14 month relationship (parents couldn't have cared less - fact,not emotional outpouring), she tried to have me have sex with her and her cousin (no...not hot), I caught her having sex with her best friend (female...hot as fark!), she introduced me to anal once and I didn't like it, watched porn together and so many other little things.

She and I were in bed when I heard the front door open and she started giggling.  "This should be fun," she said as she sat up.  Confused, of course, I asked her what's up and she told me, laughing the whole time, that her husband was back from overseas but "not to worry, he's got a broken foot so he can't catch you if you run!"

I jumped out that friggin' second story window and never looked back.


fap fap fap
 
2014-02-11 07:38:08 PM  
And yet not one peep about having to swear under oath that you didn't reduce headcount due to OobamaCare.  At some point, wiberals need to be honest with themselves and this moran that THEY elected TWICE!!!!! Unfarking believable!!!

http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2014/02/11/thought-police-firms-must- s wear-obamacare-not-factor-in-firings/
 
2014-02-11 07:38:17 PM  

James10952001: I approve.


dl.dropboxusercontent.com

...We looking at the same picture here, or what?

/Thats a rough 34.
 
2014-02-11 07:39:38 PM  

way south: James10952001: I approve.

[dl.dropboxusercontent.com image 365x522]

...We looking at the same picture here, or what?

/Thats a rough Rule34.

 
2014-02-11 07:39:51 PM  

Nick Nostril: 433: Was the mugshot camera two feet above her head?

Myspace angle.

/ didn't work


I learned to avoid those real quick back when I first discovered online dating, when that went semi mainstream it was a godsend for socially awkward geek guys. We could finally get laid semi regularly.
 
2014-02-11 07:43:52 PM  

Serious Post on Serious Thread: IRQ12: minuslars: 23FPB23: Sexual Misconduct with a Minor? Seems....reasonable, actually.

Why wasn't she charged with RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPE!

Oh I get it, wrong gender arrangement.


Quite frankly I'm ok with this double standard. Has a dude ever really regretted and been traumatized by any sex, ever.

Yea,  probably a lot more often than you think.  A lot of times these situations come about from kids who are already a bit/lot messed up and this type of dysfunction is just an extension of that.

I'm not ok with a double standard but I am ok with minor/adult situations in some sort of family court so a judge(couselors etc) can decide if what the level of consent was and the mental state of those involved.  Arbitrary age limits is really stupid.

The ONLY standard that makes ANY sense is: Post Puberty - Anything Goes.

Yeah, if there's grass on the field, play ball.

Srsly. Maybe civil liability if a coercive power dynamic is present, but otherwise nature is as nature does. And it's not like this would benefit me at all. Not now anyway. But when I was in my teens, things...happened...a couple times with somewhat older and slightly youngers. Whatever. Once the hormones kick in, unless there's coercion, oh farking well. Deal with it. It's not like relationships magically become all easy at day 6206 of your life.


I've come to the conclusion that most people are technically sex offenders even though most never got caught. Isn't the average age of losing one's virginity in the mid teens in most developed nations? In a lot of states it's a crime if one is 17 and one is 18 and what teenager stops having sex the day their partner turns 18?
 
2014-02-11 07:50:52 PM  

way south: James10952001: I approve.



...We looking at the same picture here, or what?

/Thats a rough 34.


I typed the first part before looking at the picture.

Not my bag, but I've seen plenty of people willingly sleep with some naaaaaassty people. Ever seen Maury? I catch snippets of that once in a while and I'm usually like dude, you hooked up with *that*? And you admitted to it in TV?

*shrug* I wouldn't fark her with a stolen dick, but I have a hard time believing the guy wasn't willing. Hell when I was a horny teenager my standards may have sunk tat low if it meant getting laid.

Looking back, I don't regret a single lay I had. I do regret a number of missed opportunities though.
 
2014-02-11 07:51:04 PM  

brap: But soft, what leg through yonder window breaks?
It is the east, and Keri is on the run.
Arise, fair mum, and kill the envious moon,
Who is already sick and pale with grief
That thou, mom, art dat ass.


I award you all the internets.
 
2014-02-11 07:52:35 PM  
I see it in every one of these threads. People wondering why they had to bang a teen when all they had to do is go to any bar to find plenty of adults if she wanted to bang.

You don't get it do you?
It isn't just about the sex.

It is about the thrill of the forbidden.

It is about instant boners.

The fact that most people are in the best shape of their lives in their teens.

Of course, some of these predators are mental.

They can't have a relationship with adults.

They have <ISSUES>
 
2014-02-11 07:53:06 PM  
She probably has a lovely voice with smoking for 20 years straight.
 
2014-02-11 07:56:15 PM  

lasercannon: Poor boy, however will he get over the trauma of being raped. We should make sure that this boy has the best psychiatrists to help him with his emotional problems and low self esteem as a result of this abuse


s21.postimg.org
One of the best.
 
2014-02-11 07:58:46 PM  

WhoGAS: CSB(?)

I was 16 working at Braum's and she was 23.  She told me she was 18 and, at 16, I would have stuck it in anything...hell, my dog was looking sexy at one point (no...I didn't).  Anyway, she came onto me, invited me back to her place and we had sex all night and then all the next day until I have a D&D/BBS gathering to get to.  She was my first.

Then I learned she was psycho.

During the course of our 14 month relationship (parents couldn't have cared less - fact,not emotional outpouring), she tried to have me have sex with her and her cousin (no...not hot), I caught her having sex with her best friend (female...hot as fark!), she introduced me to anal once and I didn't like it, watched porn together and so many other little things.

She and I were in bed when I heard the front door open and she started giggling.  "This should be fun," she said as she sat up.  Confused, of course, I asked her what's up and she told me, laughing the whole time, that her husband was back from overseas but "not to worry, he's got a broken foot so he can't catch you if you run!"

I jumped out that friggin' second story window and never looked back.



Why didn't you like it? Did she go in dry?
 
2014-02-11 07:59:22 PM  

InterruptingQuirk: lasercannon: Poor boy, however will he get over the trauma of being raped. We should make sure that this boy has the best psychiatrists to help him with his emotional problems and low self esteem as a result of this abuse

As he will suffer from this trauma for life, and he will be informed of this fact in the all of the followup therapy sessions.


Yup.

How do you traumatize a kid?
Tell them repeatedly and with a lot of emotion that they're traumatized.
 
2014-02-11 07:59:48 PM  

Lord Farkwad: Why didn't you like it? Did she go in dry?


Nah.  Soap and water.

Figured if she wanted me to do her anally, it's just not fair to ask someone to do something you wouldn't do yourself.  Just respectful, ya see.
 
2014-02-11 08:03:10 PM  

The_Philosopher_King: I see it in every one of these threads. People wondering why they had to bang a teen when all they had to do is go to any bar to find plenty of adults if she wanted to bang.

You don't get it do you?
It isn't just about the sex.

It is about the thrill of the forbidden.

It is about instant boners.

The fact that most people are in the best shape of their lives in their teens.

Of course, some of these predators are mental.

They can't have a relationship with adults.

They have <ISSUES>


"That's what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age."

/ Too old to get away with that anymore even if I was single.

/ Still looks.
 
2014-02-11 08:05:01 PM  

James10952001:  Isn't the average age of losing one's virginity in the mid teens in most developed nations?


17 us/europe
18-19 asia
 
2014-02-11 08:11:05 PM  

Nonrepeating Rotating Binary: InterruptingQuirk: lasercannon: Poor boy, however will he get over the trauma of being raped. We should make sure that this boy has the best psychiatrists to help him with his emotional problems and low self esteem as a result of this abuse

As he will suffer from this trauma for life, and he will be informed of this fact in the all of the followup therapy sessions.

Yup.

How do you traumatize a kid?
Tell them repeatedly and with a lot of emotion that they're traumatized.


I submitted a story recently (that the mods promptly nuked) about a 16 yr old boy that was caught in bed with his teacher
. Poor bastard wasn't raised by American standards of prudery and was suicidal over the guilt of her going to jail. He was in love with her and traumatised by being told that he had been abused.
His adoptive mother was quoted as saying he just didn't understand how he had been taken advantage of, but someday he would understand.
In the meantime there were shrinks and social workers to f*ck him up morehelp him..
 
2014-02-11 08:13:26 PM  

JoieD'Zen: Nonrepeating Rotating Binary: InterruptingQuirk: lasercannon: Poor boy, however will he get over the trauma of being raped. We should make sure that this boy has the best psychiatrists to help him with his emotional problems and low self esteem as a result of this abuse

As he will suffer from this trauma for life, and he will be informed of this fact in the all of the followup therapy sessions.

Yup.

How do you traumatize a kid?
Tell them repeatedly and with a lot of emotion that they're traumatized.

I submitted a story recently (that the mods promptly nuked) about a 16 yr old boy that was caught in bed with his teacher
. Poor bastard wasn't raised by American standards of prudery and was suicidal over the guilt of her going to jail. He was in love with her and traumatised by being told that he had been abused.
His adoptive mother was quoted as saying he just didn't understand how he had been taken advantage of, but someday he would understand.
In the meantime there were shrinks and social workers to f*ck him up morehelp him..


I get the feeling a lot of farked up abused people go on to become shrinks, then project their own damage into others they consider abused. I have no data to back this up though so take it with a grain of salt.
 
2014-02-11 08:21:44 PM  
When and why did women jump on the pedo band wagon? Jebus jumping Christ, what could POSSIBLY be sexually enticing about a 15-year old?
 
2014-02-11 08:25:51 PM  

minuslars: 23FPB23: Sexual Misconduct with a Minor? Seems....reasonable, actually.

Why wasn't she charged with RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPE!

Oh I get it, wrong gender arrangement.


Quite frankly I'm ok with this double standard. Has a dude ever really regretted and been traumatized by any sex, ever.


Regretted, yes.  Traumatized no, but only because I'm STD free.  I know the stereotype of guys always wanting it and having no standards is funny and whatnot, hell I love cracking those jokes.  But this doesn't read like a joke.  Once you hit college and beyond, it's not particularly difficult to find someone willing to have sex with you, as long as you're not a jackass.  That's why I'm only a virgin online.
 
2014-02-11 08:32:20 PM  

Astorix: Why would a 34 year old want to bang a 15 year old?


Control
 
2014-02-11 08:32:56 PM  
James10952001:

I get the feeling a lot of farked up abused people go on to become shrinks, then project their own damage into others they consider abused. I have no data to back this up though so take it with a grain of salt.

My sister in law is a therapist (not a shrink), and she's one of the most farked up people I know.

I can't believe people go to her.  If they had any idea what a mess she is they'd go running for the hills.
 
2014-02-11 08:33:18 PM  

phenn: When and why did women jump on the pedo band wagon? Jebus jumping Christ, what could POSSIBLY be sexually enticing about a 15-year old?


What could possibly be enticing about all sorts of stuff that turns people on? Bandwagon? This stuff has been going in forever. The difference is technology we have today tends to leave a digital trail. This case is an exception, but most of the others you hear about were caught due to text messages and phone pics.
 
2014-02-11 08:34:03 PM  
 
2014-02-11 08:35:03 PM  

phenn: When and why did women jump on the pedo band wagon? Jebus jumping Christ, what could POSSIBLY be sexually enticing about a 15-year old?


Why does a grown man want to screw a ten year old girl? It ain't about sex - it's about power, and control, and domination.
 
2014-02-11 08:38:02 PM  
But a 15 year old boy is 50% hormones by weight.  An actual woman offering to have sex with him frequently?  How many 15 year old boys would turn that down, or consider it "abuse" (without being prompted to that idea why someone in authority over them)?
 
2014-02-11 08:39:09 PM  

inglixthemad: Astorix: Why would a 34 year old want to bang a 15 year old?

Control


That doesn't make much sense, since legal ramifications put the control in the hands of the teenager.

When we're talking about teenagers (as opposed to victimizing younger kids), I think lack of maturity and/or mental instability are more common.
 
2014-02-11 08:39:44 PM  

inglixthemad: Astorix: Why would a 34 year old want to bang a 15 year old?

Control


Back when I was in my late teens and early 20s and fooling around with teenage girls it had nothing to do with control. It was just a matter of opportunity, they were attractive girls who were willing to sleep with me. Also there was the allure of the forbidden.

When I was a teen and knew guys my age who were banging older women, they were mostly the aggressive alpha male types going after the forbidden.

True sexual predators may be about the control, but only a portion of these cases involve what I'd consider predators, most if whom are creepy sociopathic older males.
 
2014-02-11 08:45:36 PM  
James10952001:

Back when I was in my late teens and early 20s and fooling around with teenage girls it had nothing to do with control. It was just a matter of opportunity, they were attractive girls who were willing to sleep with me.

This.
 
2014-02-11 08:52:30 PM  

WhoGAS: CSB(?)

I was 16 working at Braum's and she was 23.  She told me she was 18 and, at 16, I would have stuck it in anything...hell, my dog was looking sexy at one point (no...I didn't).  Anyway, she came onto me, invited me back to her place and we had sex all night and then all the next day until I have a D&D/BBS gathering to get to.  She was my first.

Then I learned she was psycho.

During the course of our 14 month relationship (parents couldn't have cared less - fact,not emotional outpouring), she tried to have me have sex with her and her cousin (no...not hot), I caught her having sex with her best friend (female...hot as fark!), she introduced me to anal once and I didn't like it, watched porn together and so many other little things.

She and I were in bed when I heard the front door open and she started giggling.  "This should be fun," she said as she sat up.  Confused, of course, I asked her what's up and she told me, laughing the whole time, that her husband was back from overseas but "not to worry, he's got a broken foot so he can't catch you if you run!"

I jumped out that friggin' second story window and never looked back.


CSB
tmsimg.com
 
2014-02-11 09:17:29 PM  

Astorix: Why would a 34 year old want to bang a 15 year old?


I think she's figured out that, to paraphrase the 80s Night Ranger song, "you know those [18-30-year-old] boys don't wanna play no more with you", and men over 30 either aren't sexually interesting to her, or can see she's crazy.
 
2014-02-11 09:19:04 PM  

way south: James10952001: I approve.

[dl.dropboxusercontent.com image 365x522]

...We looking at the same picture here, or what?

/Thats a rough 34.


Ah, the hallucinations of those brought up on internet porn and air-brushed magazines.

a) No, it isn't.
b) this is a mugshot taken after she just got arrested after breaking her ankle after leaping out a second-story window: did you expect her to look like she was about to go to the prom?
 
2014-02-11 09:21:07 PM  
Now mom gets a lawsuit from the woman who broke her ankle on her property.
 
2014-02-11 09:22:30 PM  
Gee thanks mom.
 
2014-02-11 09:24:07 PM  

433: Was the mugshot camera two feet above her head?


No that's a photo from the kid's phone
 
2014-02-11 09:38:16 PM  

Deeya: I slammed a 32 year old when I was 16, but I had enough sense to borrow the car and hit it in a parking lot.


Wait a minute... You were in that episode of "Cops", weren't you?
 
2014-02-11 10:08:36 PM  

2wolves: The dirty thirties can be a wonderful time in a women's life.


Dirty thirties aren't a thing.

Oh wait, I'm married.
 
2014-02-11 11:27:04 PM  
OK, I'm confused here. She's not a teacher, or a member of the clergy. WTH was she thinking????
 
2014-02-11 11:38:07 PM  

BadReligion: 433: Was the mugshot camera two feet above her head?

I assume she was sitting. Broken ankle and all.


I assumed she was hunching, still in pain, and favoring her good leg.  It looks like the line of her shoulders is canted to one side, probably towards the good leg.  Her head is doing that vulturey thing.
 
2014-02-12 12:54:54 AM  
img.fark.net

Approves
 
2014-02-12 01:20:05 AM  

433: Was the mugshot camera two feet above her head?


It was mounted on the ceiling for my first arrest, actually. Look up and say cheese.
 
2014-02-12 02:13:39 AM  

rickythepenguin: A 34-year-old Marana woman jumped out of a second-story window after she was found naked in the bedroom of a 15-year-old boy, according to the Pinal County Sheriff's Office.

in other words, when she needed the dick, she needed.  the.  dick.girl be fiending.  FIENDING.  Succubus.  when he hit those digits, your girl was on a mission.  no, not a mission of mercy, but a  mission of jizz.


Mission of Jizz... My new band name.
 
2014-02-12 02:50:16 AM  

Bruce Campbell: https://www.facebook.com/keri.gonzalez.92


Oh dear.
 
2014-02-12 05:32:59 AM  

Day_Old_Dutchie: lasercannon: Poor boy, however will he get over the trauma of being raped. We should make sure that this boy has the best psychiatrists to help him with his emotional problems and low self esteem as a result of this abuse

[s21.postimg.org image 283x424]
One of the best.


name please
 
2014-02-12 07:28:07 AM  
Not a bookmark.

I'll just sit over there, shall I?
 
2014-02-12 09:15:39 AM  

Kiwimann: inglixthemad: Astorix: Why would a 34 year old want to bang a 15 year old?

Control

That doesn't make much sense, since legal ramifications put the control in the hands of the teenager.

When we're talking about teenagers (as opposed to victimizing younger kids), I think lack of maturity and/or mental instability are more common.


James10952001: inglixthemad: Astorix: Why would a 34 year old want to bang a 15 year old?

Control

Back when I was in my late teens and early 20s and fooling around with teenage girls it had nothing to do with control. It was just a matter of opportunity, they were attractive girls who were willing to sleep with me. Also there was the allure of the forbidden.

When I was a teen and knew guys my age who were banging older women, they were mostly the aggressive alpha male types going after the forbidden.

True sexual predators may be about the control, but only a portion of these cases involve what I'd consider predators, most if whom are creepy sociopathic older males.


She's a 34 year old bint sleeping with a 15 year old. She is looking to control the relationship, and the sex. She meets a late 20's to upper 30's guy, and she's not going to be in charge of the relationship the same way. The 15 year old is malleable, she's able to take advantage of that to get what she wants. That's all this is, she wants to use the kid to satisfy her control issues. He is insignificant, and she'll do it again. This is classic predatory behavior and has very little to do with sex. She could probably get better sex with a 20 year old college kid that'd bang her like drum for hours. The trick is, the 20 year old wouldn't be as controllable.

With an older guy it would be more of a flow, where she doesn't get to dictate what happens, because (hey, what do you know) he's an adult too and knows what he likes and dislikes. She is a predator, plain and simple.
 
2014-02-12 10:41:59 AM  
fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net
 
2014-02-12 11:42:18 AM  

Kiwimann: inglixthemad: Astorix: Why would a 34 year old want to bang a 15 year old?

Control

That doesn't make much sense, since legal ramifications put the control in the hands of the teenager.

When we're talking about teenagers (as opposed to victimizing younger kids), I think lack of maturity and/or mental instability are more common.


Not too many teens have the legal knowledge to know that. These type of people know what the teens to pick to abuse and will turn the it around so that they will make the teen think they will get in trouble if anybody finds out.
 
2014-02-12 01:00:46 PM  

ongbok: Kiwimann: inglixthemad: Astorix: Why would a 34 year old want to bang a 15 year old?

Control

That doesn't make much sense, since legal ramifications put the control in the hands of the teenager.

When we're talking about teenagers (as opposed to victimizing younger kids), I think lack of maturity and/or mental instability are more common.

Not too many teens have the legal knowledge to know that. These type of people know what the teens to pick to abuse and will turn the it around so that they will make the teen think they will get in trouble if anybody finds out.


I think you underestimate teens. A 15 year old male is not a small child, he's a young man. Lots of my friends were sexually active by the time we were 15 and I would have gladly been too had I known what the hell I was doing.

Those who insist it's about control are projecting. I will freely admit that back when I was younger and dumber but still old enough to know better, I slept with several teenage girls who were legally speaking jailbait and it didnt have a damn thing to do with control. It was entirely opportunity, physical attraction and the forbidden aspect made it exciting for all involved. More than once one of these younger girls was the instigator. I should add that I wasn't the first for any of them, in fact they were pretty much all rather slutty, sometimes I'm amazed I never caught anything.
 
2014-02-12 01:22:19 PM  

Igor Jakovsky: WhoGAS: CSB(?)

I was 16 working at Braum's and she was 23.  She told me she was 18 and, at 16, I would have stuck it in anything...hell, my dog was looking sexy at one point (no...I didn't).  Anyway, she came onto me, invited me back to her place and we had sex all night and then all the next day until I have a D&D/BBS gathering to get to.  She was my first.

Then I learned she was psycho.

During the course of our 14 month relationship (parents couldn't have cared less - fact,not emotional outpouring), she tried to have me have sex with her and her cousin (no...not hot), I caught her having sex with her best friend (female...hot as fark!), she introduced me to anal once and I didn't like it, watched porn together and so many other little things.

She and I were in bed when I heard the front door open and she started giggling.  "This should be fun," she said as she sat up.  Confused, of course, I asked her what's up and she told me, laughing the whole time, that her husband was back from overseas but "not to worry, he's got a broken foot so he can't catch you if you run!"

I jumped out that friggin' second story window and never looked back.

Dear Penthouse Forum,

You're not going to believe this...

/do they still make Penthouse Forum? Who would read it?


I could never believe it had enough demand to warrant a separate publication.  It was a nice little diversion between sessions, but c'mon.....
 
2014-02-12 02:00:18 PM  

Billy Liar: Igor Jakovsky: WhoGAS: CSB(?)

I was 16 working at Braum's and she was 23.  She told me she was 18 and, at 16, I would have stuck it in anything...hell, my dog was looking sexy at one point (no...I didn't).  Anyway, she came onto me, invited me back to her place and we had sex all night and then all the next day until I have a D&D/BBS gathering to get to.  She was my first.

Then I learned she was psycho.

During the course of our 14 month relationship (parents couldn't have cared less - fact,not emotional outpouring), she tried to have me have sex with her and her cousin (no...not hot), I caught her having sex with her best friend (female...hot as fark!), she introduced me to anal once and I didn't like it, watched porn together and so many other little things.

She and I were in bed when I heard the front door open and she started giggling.  "This should be fun," she said as she sat up.  Confused, of course, I asked her what's up and she told me, laughing the whole time, that her husband was back from overseas but "not to worry, he's got a broken foot so he can't catch you if you run!"

I jumped out that friggin' second story window and never looked back.

Dear Penthouse Forum,

You're not going to believe this...

/do they still make Penthouse Forum? Who would read it?

I could never believe it had enough demand to warrant a separate publication.  It was a nice little diversion between sessions, but c'mon.....


It was a simpler time. A time before people had video players readily available at their homes. Erotic literature was popular because it could tell a story that just pictures couldn't. The VCR destroyed that.
 
2014-02-12 03:50:14 PM  

James10952001: ongbok: Kiwimann: inglixthemad: Astorix: Why would a 34 year old want to bang a 15 year old?

Control

That doesn't make much sense, since legal ramifications put the control in the hands of the teenager.

When we're talking about teenagers (as opposed to victimizing younger kids), I think lack of maturity and/or mental instability are more common.

Not too many teens have the legal knowledge to know that. These type of people know what the teens to pick to abuse and will turn the it around so that they will make the teen think they will get in trouble if anybody finds out.

I think you underestimate teens. A 15 year old male is not a small child, he's a young man. Lots of my friends were sexually active by the time we were 15 and I would have gladly been too had I known what the hell I was doing.

Those who insist it's about control are projecting. I will freely admit that back when I was younger and dumber but still old enough to know better, I slept with several teenage girls who were legally speaking jailbait and it didnt have a damn thing to do with control. It was entirely opportunity, physical attraction and the forbidden aspect made it exciting for all involved. More than once one of these younger girls was the instigator. I should add that I wasn't the first for any of them, in fact they were pretty much all rather slutty, sometimes I'm amazed I never caught anything.


Straus & Gelles would disagree with the common assumption. See, fantasy is all well and good. How many teens (who have a hot neighbor) don't fantasize about said neighbor? Male or female, the teens fantasize about hot neighbor. However, when studying teens who had been sexually active with people older than themselves (10 year difference sees the sharpest uptick) the adolescent is harmed. The difference is that Straus (Murray) and Gelles (Richard) would disagree with the common assumption: males are better equipped to deal with this than females.

Quite the opposite:

Adolescent males suffer more lingering bad effects from these relationships. Things like falling grades to increased suicide attempts are more common. Toss in higher rates of substance abuse as well.

Adolescent females don't aren't free from troubles but the number, and severity, of the problems is less. Sharply less in the area of suicide.

Straus and Gelles were unable to form a specific reason as to why this hold true. Speculations include better support systems for the women to males being subjected to gender norm reversal. Again, they don't specifically say what makes the boys suffer more (and more severe) effects from these relationships. No, just that the history and interview shows more (and more severe) effects for a longer period of time.

---------

The question becomes, why did she pick a 15 year old? Now as far as crazy girl goes, it was about control. She's not some hideous hose-beast, unable to find a date if she even remotely tried. She could walk into a dozen places, like a grocery store, flash a smile and probably get 3 adult male phone numbers in short order. The only thing she'd have to be looking out for at that point would be the telltale wedding band.

Don't tell me miss 34 year old had a magical connection with a kid. She wanted to get farked the way she wanted to get farked. A 20 year old (who'd have banged her for hours if she allowed it) would have his own ideas. A 30 year old, even more ideas and a better id. A 35-40 year old, they'd be on completely equal footing in bed and the guys probably (due to her behavior here) would have a better id. Better yet, all of these are legal.

Oh, and it's a badge of honor for women at 34 to bag a 20 year old guy for regular bedroom action. The only reason to choose the 15 year old is control. You can't have the 15 year old hang out in your bed for a weekend uninterrupted with mom questioning. The 20 year old will let you crash at his place as long as you're jumping him, or at least his mom won't question why he's not home if he says he's going out for a few days. There was literally no other advantage to picking the 15 year old.
 
2014-02-12 04:37:04 PM  

ongbok: Billy Liar: Igor Jakovsky: WhoGAS: CSB(?)

I was 16 working at Braum's and she was 23.  She told me she was 18 and, at 16, I would have stuck it in anything...hell, my dog was looking sexy at one point (no...I didn't).  Anyway, she came onto me, invited me back to her place and we had sex all night and then all the next day until I have a D&D/BBS gathering to get to.  She was my first.

Then I learned she was psycho.

During the course of our 14 month relationship (parents couldn't have cared less - fact,not emotional outpouring), she tried to have me have sex with her and her cousin (no...not hot), I caught her having sex with her best friend (female...hot as fark!), she introduced me to anal once and I didn't like it, watched porn together and so many other little things.

She and I were in bed when I heard the front door open and she started giggling.  "This should be fun," she said as she sat up.  Confused, of course, I asked her what's up and she told me, laughing the whole time, that her husband was back from overseas but "not to worry, he's got a broken foot so he can't catch you if you run!"

I jumped out that friggin' second story window and never looked back.

Dear Penthouse Forum,

You're not going to believe this...

/do they still make Penthouse Forum? Who would read it?

I could never believe it had enough demand to warrant a separate publication.  It was a nice little diversion between sessions, but c'mon.....

It was a simpler time. A time before people had video players readily available at their homes. Erotic literature was popular because it could tell a story that just pictures couldn't. The VCR destroyed that.


Remember those erotic text files you used to be able to get from BBSs? My friend had a Mac with a speech synthesis program that could sing. One day we got the idea to load one of those porn stories and have it sing it. We both were literally rolling on the floor laughing hysterically. Probably wouldn't be as funny anymore now that we're not 16 but it sure was at the time.
 
2014-02-12 05:05:06 PM  

James10952001: ongbok: Billy Liar: Igor Jakovsky: WhoGAS: CSB(?)

I was 16 working at Braum's and she was 23.  She told me she was 18 and, at 16, I would have stuck it in anything...hell, my dog was looking sexy at one point (no...I didn't).  Anyway, she came onto me, invited me back to her place and we had sex all night and then all the next day until I have a D&D/BBS gathering to get to.  She was my first.

Then I learned she was psycho.

During the course of our 14 month relationship (parents couldn't have cared less - fact,not emotional outpouring), she tried to have me have sex with her and her cousin (no...not hot), I caught her having sex with her best friend (female...hot as fark!), she introduced me to anal once and I didn't like it, watched porn together and so many other little things.

She and I were in bed when I heard the front door open and she started giggling.  "This should be fun," she said as she sat up.  Confused, of course, I asked her what's up and she told me, laughing the whole time, that her husband was back from overseas but "not to worry, he's got a broken foot so he can't catch you if you run!"

I jumped out that friggin' second story window and never looked back.

Dear Penthouse Forum,

You're not going to believe this...

/do they still make Penthouse Forum? Who would read it?

I could never believe it had enough demand to warrant a separate publication.  It was a nice little diversion between sessions, but c'mon.....

It was a simpler time. A time before people had video players readily available at their homes. Erotic literature was popular because it could tell a story that just pictures couldn't. The VCR destroyed that.

Remember those erotic text files you used to be able to get from BBSs? My friend had a Mac with a speech synthesis program that could sing. One day we got the idea to load one of those porn stories and have it sing it. We both were literally rolling on the floor laughing hysterically. Probably wouldn't be as funny anymore now that ...


They were all collected and indexed here http://www.asstr.org/ NSFW of course. It's a clean site, mal/gray/spy ware speaking. Doesn't get updated very much anymore since there are sites that will pay for people to write stories with prettier html than this one. This site also doesn't censor any subject matter, so if you ever saw it on a BBS or on Usenet, it will probably be there.

I know you weren't necessarily looking or asking for this per se, but as many know, the mind is the most erogenous zone.
 
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