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(AZ Family)   If your 15-year-old son's room is a-rocking, don't come a-knocking. Unless you want to see a naked 34-year-old woman break her ankle jumping out of your son's second-story window   (azfamily.com) divider line 131
    More: Strange, Marana, San Tan Valley, bedroom window, Tim Gaffney  
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20463 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Feb 2014 at 5:42 PM (28 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



131 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-02-11 05:08:18 PM
img713.imageshack.us
 
2014-02-11 05:12:47 PM
Maybe Mom wanted to see her son naked with a woody?
 
2014-02-11 05:33:05 PM
i60.tinypic.com
 
2014-02-11 05:35:23 PM
Unless you want to see a naked 34-year-old woman break her ankle jumping out of your son's second-story window

Uh, yeah, actually I do.
 
2014-02-11 05:43:41 PM

lennavan: Unless you want to see a naked 34-year-old woman break her ankle jumping out of your son's second-story window

Uh, yeah, actually I do.


Eh. She's not coyote ugly, but she ain't hot.
 
2014-02-11 05:45:13 PM
Crazy eyes.
 
2014-02-11 05:46:02 PM
That's some evil intent in her eyes. The boy done stuck it crazy.
 
2014-02-11 05:46:11 PM

Boojum2k: lennavan: Unless you want to see a naked 34-year-old woman break her ankle jumping out of your son's second-story window

Uh, yeah, actually I do.

Eh. She's not coyote ugly, but she ain't hot.


For a 15 year old? She's a 10.
 
2014-02-11 05:47:56 PM

"The teen said he and Gonzalez had sex twice that evening before his mother caught them in bed."


So, ten seconds of sex?

 
2014-02-11 05:47:59 PM
Sexual Misconduct with a Minor? Seems....reasonable, actually.

Why wasn't she charged with RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPE!

Oh I get it, wrong gender arrangement.
 
2014-02-11 05:48:12 PM

Katolu: That's some evil intent in her eyes. The boy done stuck it crazy.


I want to see a study of what type of behaviors/personalities are correlated with a nose ring in females. The women I've been with who had one have been fun.
 
2014-02-11 05:51:03 PM

Occam's Disposable Razor: Katolu: That's some evil intent in her eyes. The boy done stuck it crazy.

I want to see a study of what type of behaviors/personalities are correlated with a nose ring in females. The women I've been with who had one have been fun.


The one I dated was really sweet for about a month, then became a whack job. Or she was a whack job and acted sweet to lure me in. Or I made her a whack job. Whack job.
 
2014-02-11 05:51:16 PM
I remember when I could do it twice in a night.

-barely
 
2014-02-11 05:51:32 PM
If you do something really, really stupid, plan your escape well.  If you jump from a high place you might, as did this lady, break your ankle and really screw up your admittedly half-assed, slapdick "escape" plan.

with love,
J.W. Booth
 
2014-02-11 05:52:47 PM
img.fark.net
/Oblig
 
2014-02-11 05:53:20 PM
Ah, Marana. Such a classy area.

Isn't San Tan up near Phoenix? That's a long drive for some sexual misconduct.
 
2014-02-11 05:53:44 PM
Lesson: the downside to having sex with older people is that their bones get increasingly brittle with age.
 
2014-02-11 05:55:58 PM
Sent her to the Pinal Jail did they ?
 
2014-02-11 05:56:20 PM
For bonus points, was she carrying one of those Taco Bell "Portable Nachos?"
 
2014-02-11 05:56:28 PM

skinink: "The teen said he and Gonzalez had sex twice that evening before his mother caught them in bed."
So, ten seconds of sex?



Even still, he was going for the hat-trick.

Not bad.
 
2014-02-11 05:56:52 PM
A 34-year-old Marana woman jumped out of a second-story window after she was found naked in the bedroom of a 15-year-old boy, according to the Pinal County Sheriff's Office.


whoa.  some context here, folks.  not only did your boy fark her crazy, this is how addicted to the cock she was;  marana is about, ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, 45 minutes AT BEST from STV.  STV is on the southeasatern outskirts of metro phoenix, Marana a newish subdivision on the outskirts of Tucson.  I'm guessing the closest STV point to the closest Marana point is probably as the crow flies, much less the surface streets  / I-10, probably 60-65 miles.

in other words, when she needed the dick, she needed.  the.  dick.girl be fiending.  FIENDING.  Succubus.  when he hit those digits, your girl was on a mission.  no, not a mission of mercy, but a  mission of jizz.

According to PCSO spokesman Tim Gaffney, the teen's mother was sleeping on Jan. 21 when she heard "knocking a rhythmic slapping sound, with a note of "squishiness", and soft, dovelike coos, with what sounded like "give that shiat to me, papito, it's too good, papito its so big, papi gimme that shiat papito ay!" sounds by the stairs and on the wall" of her San Tan Valley home at about 2 a.m.
 
2014-02-11 05:57:14 PM
GAAAAAAAHHHHH!

BURN IT! BURN IT WITH FIRE!
 
2014-02-11 05:59:27 PM
 media.azfamily.com

"SNU SNU. NOW!"
 
433 [TotalFark]
2014-02-11 06:00:00 PM
Was the mugshot camera two feet above her head?
 
2014-02-11 06:01:50 PM

rickythepenguin: A 34-year-old Marana woman jumped out of a second-story window after she was found naked in the bedroom of a 15-year-old boy, according to the Pinal County Sheriff's Office.


whoa.  some context here, folks.  not only did your boy fark her crazy, this is how addicted to the cock she was;  marana is about, ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, 45 minutes AT BEST from STV.  STV is on the southeasatern outskirts of metro phoenix, Marana a newish subdivision on the outskirts of Tucson.  I'm guessing the closest STV point to the closest Marana point is probably as the crow flies, much less the surface streets  / I-10, probably 60-65 miles.

in other words, when she needed the dick, she needed.  the.  dick.girl be fiending.  FIENDING.  Succubus.  when he hit those digits, your girl was on a mission.  no, not a mission of mercy, but a  mission of jizz.

According to PCSO spokesman Tim Gaffney, the teen's mother was sleeping on Jan. 21 when she heard "knocking a rhythmic slapping sound, with a note of "squishiness", and soft, dovelike coos, with what sounded like "give that shiat to me, papito, it's too good, papito its so big, papi gimme that shiat papito ay!" sounds by the stairs and on the wall" of her San Tan Valley home at about 2 a.m.



So, drunk already then.  Hopefully you're on the east coast, where it's after 5p already.
 
2014-02-11 06:02:38 PM

433: Was the mugshot camera two feet above her head?


I assume she was sitting. Broken ankle and all.
 
2014-02-11 06:04:52 PM

AirForceVet: Maybe Mom wanted to see her son naked with a woody?


Is this another story about Stephanie Seymour?
 
2014-02-11 06:08:04 PM
The dirty thirties can be a wonderful time in a women's life.
 
2014-02-11 06:08:36 PM
man.  she remidns me someone i know.  can't palce it.

i'm not saying she's hot, but, she isn't thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat unattractive.  i bet she cleans up ok.  and christ, when i was fifteen, jesus, if i thought a girl glanced at my hog i'd be blowing loads.  a grown ass female, admittedly not the hottest, but an actual live woman letting me smash it?  twice?

i liek adam carolla's joke about this sitaution, when the hottish / not fugly older adult woman has sex with a juvenile male:  "my question as the defense attorney, cross examining hte victim:  since this 'attack', have you, uhh,.....you know.  have you ever, uh, masturbated to the memory?"  'Of course!  i'm a 15 yr old boy!"

"ladies and gentlemen of the jury, how can my client be guilty of crime that has given this young man hours and hours, and hours of pleasure?"
 
433 [TotalFark]
2014-02-11 06:08:43 PM
BadReligion: 433: Was the mugshot camera two feet above her head?

I assume she was sitting. Broken ankle and all.


Good thinkin'
 
2014-02-11 06:16:00 PM
So she jumps out the window, limps away and then 45 min later comes back? WTF she got away and then comes over to turn herself in.
 
2014-02-11 06:18:13 PM

2wolves: The dirty thirties can be a wonderful time in a women's life.


No kidding. I recall mine fondly. I did some young ones but never under 21. Standards and such.
Her mistake was going back to the house.
 
2014-02-11 06:19:31 PM

TomD9938: skinink: "The teen said he and Gonzalez had sex twice that evening before his mother caught them in bed."
So, ten seconds of sex?


Even still, he was going for the hat-trick.

Not bad.


And SHE brought HIM booze. When you were 15 (or hell EVER) did you have a woman bring you booze then sexytime???
 
2014-02-11 06:19:52 PM

groppet: So she jumps out the window, limps away and then 45 min later comes back? WTF she got away and then comes over to turn herself in.


Probably hoping to get the homeowner to pony up for her medical bills with the homeowners insurance.
 
2014-02-11 06:20:32 PM

gideon: [media.azfamily.com image 469x264]

"SNU SNU. NOW!"


i306.photobucket.com
 
2014-02-11 06:20:54 PM

DarthBart: groppet: So she jumps out the window, limps away and then 45 min later comes back? WTF she got away and then comes over to turn herself in.

Probably hoping to get the homeowner to pony up for her medical bills with the homeowners insurance.


So crazy it might work.
 
2014-02-11 06:21:57 PM
why cant the kid leave the neighbor alone and do it with a teacher at school like other good kids.  i just can't understand.
 
2014-02-11 06:23:04 PM
Why would a 34 year old want to bang a 15 year old?
 
2014-02-11 06:23:14 PM

JoieD'Zen: 2wolves: The dirty thirties can be a wonderful time in a women's life.

No kidding. I recall mine fondly. I did some young ones but never under 21. Standards and such.
Her mistake was going back to the house.


Well, chances are that her car keys were with her clothing, still up in the bedroom.   Butt naked, limping to the car at 2am, and "FARK!"  Bang on the steering wheel for a few minutes, then limp back for the clothes and keys.
 
2014-02-11 06:24:14 PM
Fattie McFatterson.  No wonder he ankle couldn't support her.
 
2014-02-11 06:25:50 PM

skinink: "The teen said he and Gonzalez had sex twice that evening before his mother caught them in bed."
So, ten seconds of sex?


Sure, but by morning they could be up to 2 minutes. He's 15. You take the good with the bad.
 
2014-02-11 06:27:09 PM

Astorix: Why would a 34 year old want to bang a 15 year old?


Because she's crazy?
 
2014-02-11 06:27:36 PM
I slammed a 32 year old when I was 16, but I had enough sense to borrow the car and hit it in a parking lot.
 
2014-02-11 06:29:03 PM

23FPB23: Sexual Misconduct with a Minor? Seems....reasonable, actually.

Why wasn't she charged with RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPE!

Oh I get it, wrong gender arrangement.


The state of Arizona no longer uses the term "rape ", but it has replaced it with sexual abuse or sexual assault.
/TMYK
 
2014-02-11 06:30:28 PM

Astorix: Why would a 34 year old want to bang a 15 year old?


You gotta get before their backs start sprouting thick, luxurious hair.
 
2014-02-11 06:32:19 PM

Astorix: Why would a 34 year old want to bang a 15 year old?


They say that's when Olympic gymnasts hit their peak of ability.
 
2014-02-11 06:33:43 PM

Astorix: Why would a 34 year old want to bang a 15 year old?


Because she's 15?
 
2014-02-11 06:35:53 PM

Boojum2k: lennavan: Unless you want to see a naked 34-year-old woman break her ankle jumping out of your son's second-story window

Uh, yeah, actually I do.

Eh. She's not coyote ugly, but she ain't hot.


She's certainly no Mary Kay Latourneau, but maybe the kid's a big fan of Eddie Izzard.
 
2014-02-11 06:37:39 PM

23FPB23: Sexual Misconduct with a Minor? Seems....reasonable, actually.

Why wasn't she charged with RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPE!

Oh I get it, wrong gender arrangement.


She'll probably get stuck on the sex offender registry, for statutory rape of a minor. That's what I would do if I were the judge, 'cause fair's fair.

on a side-note, what is wrong with these adult women going after 15 year old boys?!? Ladies just go to a bar and snag an adult man, if you're that hard up.

\feminist
 
2014-02-11 06:39:16 PM
Poor boy, however will he get over the trauma of being raped. We should make sure that this boy has the best psychiatrists to help him with his emotional problems and low self esteem as a result of this abuse
 
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