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Free range dementia patients, vagina weightlifting, and the legendary Del Boca Vista people : a few of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 2/2 - 2/8
Posted by Unfreakable at 2014-02-11 1:14:24 PM (7 comments) | Permalink

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2490 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Feb 2014 at 1:16 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



A new batch of headlines. Enjoy

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2014-02-02 to Sat 2014-02-08:

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  Free range dementia patient hit by train  

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  Escaped murderer commits unthinkable crime. Forces woman to... I can barely repeat it, it's so depraved... forces her to... drive to Indiana. I think I'm going to be sick  

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  Authorities launch investigation over unused pillar of salt, say it sure sounds like a Lot  

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  Can "vagina weightlifting" give you better sex? Experts claim to know the answer, but they're being tight lipped  

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  First it's warm, then it's a blizzard, then it's warm again, then another blizzard, then it's warm again...and guess what's back in the Midwest and East Coast? Welcome the return of the Bi-Polar Vortex  

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  Spanish cargo ship breaks into dos pieces off French coast, may cinco  

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  British Prime Minister to convene emergency Cobra meeting to deal with floods, G.I. Joe incursions  

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  Attempted hijacking of Ukrainian plane fails to stick the landing in Sochi, diverted to Turkey. That's going to cost him with the judges  

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  Clint Eastwood saves golf tournament director from choking using the Heimlich Maneuver. A move that, coincidentally enough, can also be performed on oneself by utilizing an empty chair  

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  Dozens left dead in wake of driver's drunken rampage  

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  Transgender woman wants to live life as a grotesque, obscene distortion of reality: a fashion model  


Sports:

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  Omahahahahahahahaha  

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  USA men's basketball draws Turkey for the FIBA World Cup preliminaries, with the team last seen tracing their left hands  

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  Obese fans at the World Cup in Brazil to get regular seats at half price. Apparently the international sport of soccer is finally reaching out and trying to accommodate an American audience  


Geek:

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  Study finds women dream about lies and infidelity. Men on the other hand dream of fires, wars and disasters - usually attributable to their lies and infidelity  

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  Prehistoric village found at site of proposed Miami entertainment complex. Archaeologists believe it may be the most complete remains ever found of the legendary Del Boca Vista people  

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  New study says that most Americans don't eat enough whole grains and fiber. First U.S. study ever to begin with the phrase "Most Americans don't eat enough"  


Entertainment:

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  NBC unveils new design for flagship news website, ugliest thing to happen to NBC since Chris Matthews  

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  Teen Mom Farrah Abraham is claiming that Vivid is trying to backdoor her on a second porn tape. Vivid President Steve Hirsch claims he has the release in his hands  

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  Cosmopolitan host of drink mixing show found dead in his apartment south of Manhattan. No forced entry with a screwdriver, but Tom Collins and Rob Roy considered persons of interest  


Politics:

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  If only they had said the same thing to Lincoln 150 years ago  

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  Sandra Fluke decides not to go to term  

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  Iran enacts universal healthcare legislation. House Republicans in America schedule 30 votes to have it overturned  


Business:

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  In Congressional testimony, CFO John Mulligan says Target is "sorry" for data breach and hopes to "learn" from it. "If only we could take another shot or, I dunno, a 'do-over' of some kind," Mulligan did not add, but should have  

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  S&P drops Puerto Rico credit rating from Pablo Casals to Tony Orlando  

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  I'm lovin' it long time
· · ·

7 Comments     (+0 »)
 
 
2014-02-11 02:22:52 PM  
Golf clap for the Mulligan.
 
2014-02-11 02:29:06 PM  
You had me at vagina.... again.
 
2014-02-11 02:32:02 PM  

Prattle Assassin: Golf clap for the Mulligan.


OK, I'll admit it, that one was mine.  Thanks.
 
2014-02-11 02:44:06 PM  

sulco: You had me at vagina.... again.


Same is true of most of us.

/except caesarian deliveries
 
2014-02-11 02:46:21 PM  
Looks away.

/jaded as fark
 
2014-02-11 02:53:29 PM  

MBooda: sulco: You had me at vagina.... again.

Same is true of most of us.

/except caesarian deliveries


Truly a cut above the rest!
 
2014-02-11 03:03:10 PM  
Good collection here. Can't wait until next week.
 
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