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(SFGate)   You may not want to update the firmware on your pacemaker today: Hackers have been rifling through the networks of medical device manufacturers   (sfgate.com) divider line 70
    More: Scary, hackers, medical device  
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3152 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Feb 2014 at 9:21 PM (36 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-02-10 08:49:32 PM  
Somebody buy Barnaby Jack a drink.
 
2014-02-10 09:25:36 PM  
So some hacker sets the pacemakers at 10x normal speed, and we have a bunch of geezers streaking around like Barry Allen.
 
2014-02-10 09:26:04 PM  

It is those soulless gingers you really have to watch out for.

d.ibtimes.co.uk

 
2014-02-10 09:26:29 PM  
1)mcafee anti virus for pacemakers

2)barracuda firewall for pacemakers

/problem solved
 
2014-02-10 09:27:05 PM  
So they can turn a pacemaker into another tracking device? Or maybe program the thing for thought control?
 
m00
2014-02-10 09:29:50 PM  
Imagine you have a pacemaker and get the email: "Wire $10,000 to this bank account or we'll remotely cause it to give you a heart attack. To prove we're series, we'll make it skip a beat tomorrow at exactly 11:00 EST"
 
2014-02-10 09:31:01 PM  

echomike23: 1)mcafee anti virus for pacemakers

2)barracuda firewall for pacemakers

/problem solved


Pacemakers run Windows?

/notsureifserious
 
2014-02-10 09:33:16 PM  
Nevermind, Seimes firmware.
 
2014-02-10 09:34:28 PM  

echomike23: 1)mcafee anti virus for pacemakers

2)barracuda firewall for pacemakers

/problem solved


Mcafee, that's a great idea.  That will slow their whole heart down with its bloatware while allowing every single virus to run amok.
 
2014-02-10 09:38:38 PM  
Hopefully they will disable Dick Cheney
 
2014-02-10 09:39:02 PM  
Don't worry Citizen, the NSA has only added 1 upgrade to be sure you are safe from hackers.
That upgrade ensures that you can be remotely shut down in presence of terrorist attacks, resulting in the terrorist becoming confused by your screams and falling down, resulting in allowing the snipers to easily hit their target.


i.imgur.com

/Tired of articles whining about big mean China, in order to divert attention away from domestic hacking by the government.
 
gja [TotalFark]
2014-02-10 09:41:16 PM  
"I'm sorry honey! I swear, someone hacked my penis pump. This has NEVER happened before"
 
2014-02-10 09:43:19 PM  
My pacer is due to be replaced, um, well they've been telling me "soon" for a year.

/getting a kick.
//a kickstart, more like.
 
2014-02-10 09:44:33 PM  
Awww, Obummer's going to have a widdle talk with China's president. Here's a bright idea - "Yo, Ching Chong. Stop trying to steal our shiat and making it a graduating requirement for your CS students. Any further intrusions will be considered an act of war."
 
2014-02-10 09:48:11 PM  
www.biography.com

Oops, my bad, accidentally posted this pic. Hoping I'm not giving those pacemaker hackers any ideas. *cough cough wink wink*
 
2014-02-10 09:48:27 PM  

Vector R: Awww, Obummer's going to have a widdle talk with China's president. Here's a bright idea - "Yo, Ching Chong. Stop trying to steal our shiat and making it a graduating requirement for your CS students. Any further intrusions will be considered an act of war."


Your derp seems to have spilled over into an unrelated thread.  It takes some strong acting derp to do that!
 
2014-02-10 09:53:00 PM  

kling_klang_bed: [www.biography.com image 402x402]

Oops, my bad, accidentally posted this pic. Hoping I'm not giving those pacemaker hackers any ideas. *cough cough wink wink*


He got a transplant.
 
2014-02-10 09:53:38 PM  
Why do pacemakers need to be wireless where they can be hacked? Its like electronics companies are so worried about whether they can make stuff wireless that they dont stop to question whether they SHOULD.
 
2014-02-10 09:56:17 PM  

Oldiron_79: Why do pacemakers need to be wireless where they can be hacked? Its like electronics companies are so worried about whether they can make stuff wireless that they dont stop to question whether they SHOULD.


So you suggest they use the person's ass as a connector
 
2014-02-10 09:56:26 PM  

Oldiron_79: Why do pacemakers need to be wireless where they can be hacked? Its like electronics companies are so worried about whether they can make stuff wireless that they dont stop to question whether they SHOULD.


Probably something to do with not having to perform surgery whenever the settings need to be changed or diagnostics run.
 
2014-02-10 09:57:33 PM  

Your Hind Brain: echomike23: 1)mcafee anti virus for pacemakers

2)barracuda firewall for pacemakers

/problem solved

Pacemakers run Windows?

/notsureifserious


it couldnt hurt :(
 
2014-02-10 09:58:54 PM  

Oldiron_79: Why do pacemakers need to be wireless where they can be hacked? Its like electronics companies are so worried about whether they can make stuff wireless that they dont stop to question whether they SHOULD.


Why? So when they're downloading data from it or adjusting the settings they don't need to slice you open.  The transducer thingee only has a short range though - it basically rests on your skin right there, not like they zap you from across town.

/they mine off once a year to see if my own rhythm will try to reestablish.
//it doesn't, and they have to turn it back on before I pass out and fall over.
///kinda fun, if not a little freaky
 
2014-02-10 09:59:02 PM  

Oldiron_79: Why do pacemakers need to be wireless where they can be hacked? Its like electronics companies are so worried about whether they can make stuff wireless that they dont stop to question whether they SHOULD.


Because it's much less invasive than cutting someone open to make an adjustment.  Any other stupid questions?
 
2014-02-10 09:59:40 PM  
....and that is what happens when I try type fast.
 
2014-02-10 10:01:03 PM  
From the article is sounds more like they were after design and manufacturing information rather than a way to hack pacemakers.  Btw these companies make many products other than pacemakers.

One of the challenges of the medical device industry is that whatever you invent the Chinese will rip it off and cut into your profits within a relatively short time period after you launch your product.  The Chinese are a bunch of lazy twits without a single inventive brain cell among them.  All they know how to do is copy and/or steal other people's technologies.

Don't even get me started on their version of the FDA.  Answering their questions is like trying to explain something to a bunch of retarded, two month old chimpanzees.
 
2014-02-10 10:05:55 PM  

Ima4nic8or: Don't even get me started on their version of the FDA.  Answering their questions is like trying to explain something to a bunch of retarded, two month old chimpanzees.


Hey, don't insult handicapped animals like that.  It's just mean.
 
2014-02-10 10:08:32 PM  
There's a movement to get medical device companies to open-source their code so it can be audited. Too bad Barnaby Jack isn't around to get that in the news.
 
2014-02-10 10:08:48 PM  

Thelyphthoric: Why? So when they're downloading data from it or adjusting the settings they don't need to slice you open.  The transducer thingee only has a short range though - it basically rests on your skin right there, not like they zap you from across town.


Cool sidenote- these companies, Medtronic and the like, make so much money that it is cheaper to issue every fire department, ambulance company, and hospital magnets rather than initiate a recall. In some of the older models, the lead wires that are attached to your heart to monitor the disturbances that cause the pacemaker/defibrillator to activate would come lose, making your pacemaker/defibrillator deliver the shock and possibly stop your heart inappropriately. Placing the provided magnets over the site would place the device on safe mode and stop trying to kill you. 

Also, can't these things work over the phone?
 
2014-02-10 10:12:00 PM  

Callous: kling_klang_bed: [www.biography.com image 402x402]

Oops, my bad, accidentally posted this pic. Hoping I'm not giving those pacemaker hackers any ideas. *cough cough wink wink*

He got a transplant.


He probably selected the Iraqi boy it came from by hand from a pool of potentials, then killed three more just for lulz.
 
2014-02-10 10:15:07 PM  

Boojum2k: So some hacker sets the pacemakers at 10x normal speed, and we have a bunch of geezers streaking around like Barry Allen.


NECTAR!  I NEED NECTAR!
 
2014-02-10 10:17:26 PM  
RIP Barnaby Jack
 
2014-02-10 10:18:52 PM  

thehobbes: Also, can't these things work over the phone?


I have a phone transmitter, all it does is send an audio signal so they can check the slow rate, the high "exercise" rate (you stick a magnet over the pacer to fire it up into high gear) then slow again to make sure it's doing its thang right.

They cant read the full data over the phone (they'll ask me "what were you doing on the night of October 23rd when your heart went wonky for 2minutes and 14 seconds?")
 
2014-02-10 10:19:40 PM  
It's just silly that pacemakers have a built in wireless remote access. IIRC they charge via near field induction, why can't they only communitcate via similar near field communication. Like, contact close.
 
2014-02-10 10:20:36 PM  
/oh, and before you ask what the answer was on my not-very-csb, it was "baitin".

/It's always baitin'.
 
2014-02-10 10:22:28 PM  
Let's reconcile these two notions.

"We R teh 1337 haxx0rs!  We are the future, lo0rsz!  We will save you!"

"Let's break  sh*t and steal sh*t and f*ck sh*t up because we CAN!"

Somehow, I don't think a herd of self important, neck bearded virgins who never grew a conscience are going to be any more salvation-y than the 1%, televangelists or any other pack of sneering pricks, stoned on heir own hubris.
 
2014-02-10 10:23:10 PM  

jtown: Because it's much less invasive than cutting someone open to make an adjustment.  Any other stupid questions?


MiniUSB port implant. Done.
 
2014-02-10 10:24:25 PM  
OH GOD, THEY WANT MY CPAP!

Actually, I don't think I get my CPAP through any of those companies, so I'm in the clear.
 
2014-02-10 10:27:14 PM  

LemSkroob: jtown: Because it's much less invasive than cutting someone open to make an adjustment.  Any other stupid questions?

MiniUSB port implant. Done.


Yes, because people who need a pacemaker are known for having healthy enough circulation that trans-dermal implants are a good idea.
 
2014-02-10 10:28:33 PM  

Triumph: Somebody buy Barnaby Jack a drink.


Actually that didn't work out too well for him in the long run.

Glad for his work while he was here with us, though.

R.I.P. Barnaby Jack
 
gja [TotalFark]
2014-02-10 10:29:56 PM  

Callous: kling_klang_bed: [www.biography.com image 402x402]

Oops, my bad, accidentally posted this pic. Hoping I'm not giving those pacemaker hackers any ideas. *cough cough wink wink*

He got a transplant.


A transplant for WHAT? He is a living heart donor.
 
2014-02-10 10:33:25 PM  
Thelyphthoric: (they'll ask me "what were you doing on the night of October 23rd when your heart went wonky for 2minutes and 14 seconds?")

I think we both know the answer to that question.
 
2014-02-10 10:35:04 PM  
P.S:  Would all the "über 1337", whip smart kiddies please open a dictionary and look into "lose" and "loose"?  Illiteracy.  There's an app for that.
 
2014-02-10 10:36:47 PM  

wildcardjack: It's just silly that pacemakers have a built in wireless remote access. IIRC they charge via near field induction, why can't they only communitcate via similar near field communication. Like, contact close.


I have a newer Medtronic pacemaker (implanted April of last year).  When I go to the cardiologist for my regular check-ups, they bring in a machine with a little disc-like paddle wired to it.  They then place the paddle over my pacemaker, which is directly under the skin, which then transmits the data to the machine, allowing it to run diagnostics, read data, and check battery life.  The distance from the pacemaker to the paddle is only the thickness of my skin, and I don't think it'll work any further away than that.  I could be wrong about that, but they do ask me to remain still so the paddle won't move away.

The whole thing is actually pretty awesome, and has improved my quality of life pretty well.  Still kinda' sucks being a 30-year old with a pacemaker, though.
 
2014-02-10 10:47:53 PM  

The One True TheDavid: So they can turn a pacemaker into another tracking device? Or maybe program the thing for thought control?


Hack into Dick Cheney's and make him a thoughtful, sensitive, compassionate human being?

Nah, too much to ask.
 
2014-02-10 10:50:26 PM  

Thelyphthoric: thehobbes: Also, can't these things work over the phone?

I have a phone transmitter, all it does is send an audio signal so they can check the slow rate, the high "exercise" rate (you stick a magnet over the pacer to fire it up into high gear) then slow again to make sure it's doing its thang right.

They cant read the full data over the phone (they'll ask me "what were you doing on the night of October 23rd when your heart went wonky for 2minutes and 14 seconds?")


"Your mom."
 
2014-02-10 10:50:29 PM  

b0rscht: Thelyphthoric: (they'll ask me "what were you doing on the night of October 23rd when your heart went wonky for 2minutes and 14 seconds?")

I think we both know the answer to that question.


That was awesome.  Thought you should know.
 
2014-02-10 10:59:08 PM  

i.imgur.com


All Your Pace Belong To Us...

 
2014-02-10 11:01:44 PM  
If you really want to harm someone with a pacemaker - just punch him in the chest.

/used to work infosec for one of those involved in this hack
//medical device manufacturers network security is complete and utter shiat
 
2014-02-10 11:04:36 PM  

Kumana Wanalaia: Callous: kling_klang_bed: [www.biography.com image 402x402]

Oops, my bad, accidentally posted this pic. Hoping I'm not giving those pacemaker hackers any ideas. *cough cough wink wink*

He got a transplant.

He probably selected the Iraqi boy it came from by hand from a pool of potentials, then killed three more just for lulz.


Or maybe that's why we haven't heard any more from his hunting buddy.
 
2014-02-10 11:06:42 PM  

gja: Callous: kling_klang_bed: [www.biography.com image 402x402]

Oops, my bad, accidentally posted this pic. Hoping I'm not giving those pacemaker hackers any ideas. *cough cough wink wink*

He got a transplant.

A transplant for WHAT? He is a living heart donor.


My bad. Well, Lemmy has a pacemaker, that's for sure, so maybe they could hack his and superpower that thing 'Crank' style.
 
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