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(AP)   Drunk brain: hey why don't you walk home, and on the way, lay down outside and go to sleep. You'll be fine   (hosted.ap.org ) divider line
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10307 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Feb 2014 at 1:15 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-02-10 01:54:05 PM  

Bedstead Polisher: I once woke up in the middle of the night to open my window and let some air in. As I lifted the blinds to open the window, I noticed that my neighbour was passed out on the front lawn/driveway. I watched her for a second to see if she was breathing, then I went back to sleep. She was gone by morning. She survived.


My hero!
 
2014-02-10 01:56:19 PM  
Surely we can pass some sort of law to ensure that this NEVER HAPPENS AGAIN
 
2014-02-10 01:58:32 PM  

OscarTamerz: One of my adult acquaintance's father was not allowed to drink in the house and so on a night that was so bad he couldn't drive to a bar he drank in his car in his own driveway and his family found him  there, dead, in the morning.  It was snowing heavily and below zero that night  and the car was off.


It's a good thing he died, couldn't imagine going through life with no balls like he was living. Seriously, not being able to drink in your own house? He was better off dead.

But seriously, when I was young and dumb there were many times when I was piss drunk and walking home in the winter. And a few of those times my drunk brain told me that I was sleepy and it would be fine to curl up and lay down for a couple minutes of shut eye in some corner. It is a good thing I had the sense not to listen to my drunk brain.
 
2014-02-10 01:58:41 PM  
He was drinking the 12-year Darwinnie
 
2014-02-10 01:59:06 PM  
This same thing happend in Richmond, Michigan this weekend. But the victim was a 22 year old female. No word on how hot she was.
 
2014-02-10 02:01:12 PM  

gopher321: Bedstead Polisher: I once woke up in the middle of the night to open my window and let some air in. As I lifted the blinds to open the window, I noticed that my neighbour was passed out on the front lawn/driveway. I watched her for a second to see if she was breathing, then I went back to sleep. She was gone by morning. She survived.

My hero!


I hate that stupid white trash biatch. She throws loud parties and is a mean drunk, so she's always screaming at people. Other neighbours have called the cops on her.
I would have felt guilty as hell if she wasn't okay though.
 
2014-02-10 02:01:41 PM  

Onkel Buck: This same thing happend in Richmond, Michigan this weekend. But the victim was a 22 year old female. No word on how hot she was.


Most of us would still hit it anyway.
 
2014-02-10 02:03:56 PM  

ristst: PreMortem: Shoulda been drinking schnapps (sp). It keeps you warm.

Mythbusters disproved this on the very first episode of the series I believe.  They drank, then measured their body heat using infrared.

The results:
Alcohol does not make you warmer.  You just don't care if it's cold or not when drunk.


I was aware and welcome to Fark.
 
2014-02-10 02:04:50 PM  
the opposite has happened to me. Woke up in a car with all the windows closed in the heat of August.
 
2014-02-10 02:05:35 PM  

Onkel Buck: This same thing happend in Richmond, Michigan this weekend. But the victim was a 22 year old female. No word on how hot she was.


Couldn't be too hot, she froze to death.
 
2014-02-10 02:14:03 PM  

doubled99: Surely we can pass some sort of law to ensure that this NEVER HAPPENS AGAIN


Wait for the lawsuits suing the owner of whatever ground the goof was found on...

Then sue the weatherman for not giving enough warning!

Yeah! That's the ticket!
 
2014-02-10 02:20:22 PM  

PreMortem: ristst: PreMortem: Shoulda been drinking schnapps (sp). It keeps you warm.

Mythbusters disproved this on the very first episode of the series I believe.  They drank, then measured their body heat using infrared.

The results:
Alcohol does not make you warmer.  You just don't care if it's cold or not when drunk.

I was aware and welcome to Fark.


I typically have problems discerning whether or not a) "quote is sarcasm" or b) "farker has not seen a particular episode of Mythbusters."

/don't judge
 
2014-02-10 02:24:27 PM  
Oh Lordy, if only there were a safe, non toxic, legal alternative to the Demon Drink.
Still have to settle for 2/3.

WHY? sic
 
2014-02-10 02:24:29 PM  

Bedstead Polisher: gopher321: Bedstead Polisher: I once woke up in the middle of the night to open my window and let some air in. As I lifted the blinds to open the window, I noticed that my neighbour was passed out on the front lawn/driveway. I watched her for a second to see if she was breathing, then I went back to sleep. She was gone by morning. She survived.

My hero!

I hate that stupid white trash biatch. She throws loud parties and is a mean drunk, so she's always screaming at people. Other neighbours have called the cops on her.
I would have felt guilty as hell if she wasn't okay though.


You need to do the right thing for your conscience. Darwin will take care of the rest.
 
2014-02-10 02:25:04 PM  

Bedstead Polisher: gopher321: Bedstead Polisher: I once woke up in the middle of the night to open my window and let some air in. As I lifted the blinds to open the window, I noticed that my neighbour was passed out on the front lawn/driveway. I watched her for a second to see if she was breathing, then I went back to sleep. She was gone by morning. She survived.

My hero!

I hate that stupid white trash biatch. She throws loud parties and is a mean drunk, so she's always screaming at people. Other neighbours have called the cops on her.
I would have felt guilty as hell if she wasn't okay though.



Can you roll it back to 'I noticed that...' and sprinkle a little "Dear Penthouse, I never thought..." on it?
 
2014-02-10 02:26:14 PM  

doubled99: Surely we can pass some sort of law to ensure that this NEVER HAPPENS AGAIN


Well, ya see, the problem is the wrong law is being profitized at this time.
Not a passing problem.
 
2014-02-10 02:29:35 PM  

ElLoco: miss diminutive: If you're going to get that hammered, use the buddy system.

Pro tip hint: Pick the buddy that doesn't have some combination of "brutal" and "anal" in his search history.


Sorry man, I didn't think you would mind.
 
2014-02-10 02:33:23 PM  

ristst: PreMortem: ristst: PreMortem: Shoulda been drinking schnapps (sp). It keeps you warm.

Mythbusters disproved this on the very first episode of the series I believe.  They drank, then measured their body heat using infrared.

The results:
Alcohol does not make you warmer.  You just don't care if it's cold or not when drunk.

I was aware and welcome to Fark.

I typically have problems discerning whether or not a) "quote is sarcasm" or b) "farker has not seen a particular episode of Mythbusters."

/don't judge


Lol. Fair enough. I'm not good enough to be an effective troll, usually.
 
2014-02-10 02:33:55 PM  

miss diminutive: If you're going to get that hammered, use the buddy system.


Then you'd have two unfortunate deaths instead of one.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/buddy-system-responsible-for-additi on al-death,8730/
 
2014-02-10 02:34:23 PM  
FTA Police said alcohol may be a factor.
oi42.tinypic.com
 
2014-02-10 02:36:25 PM  
img.photobucket.com

take it from the experts. if you sleep on the street you could sleep forever.
 
2014-02-10 02:37:30 PM  
Read the subject line and was hoping that he woke up with a blue ribbon tied 'round his tonker...
not blue all over.
 
2014-02-10 02:39:10 PM  

Onkel Buck: This same thing happend in Richmond, Michigan this weekend. But the victim was a 22 year old female. No word on how hot she was.


Was she face down when they found her?  If so, we could come by for a quick, cold-one.
 
2014-02-10 02:46:58 PM  
I don't even want to drink when it's very cold. It just turns me off. I'll abstain and get in shape so I can destroy my body when the weather improves.
 
2014-02-10 02:55:03 PM  

neversubmit: Not a bad way to go.


Yeah.  You just get sleepy.  Nighty-night.
 
2014-02-10 03:06:57 PM  
My roommate freshman year at Western Michigan fell asleep in the bushes around 100 yards from our dormitory door. She told me about it the next morning. A "nice guy" woke her up at about 4 a.m. and helped her back to our room. This was in early October I think... it was warm enough outside for her not to freeze. Still I remember just thinking how crazy drunk she must have been, that she couldn't make it the extra 2 minute walk to the room.
 
2014-02-10 03:12:18 PM  
So when someone dies and freezes to the ground, how do they unstick them from the ground to move them back to the morgue?  I assume that waiting for the spring thaw isn't always an option.
 
2014-02-10 03:19:52 PM  

doubled99: Surely we can pass some sort of law to ensure that this NEVER HAPPENS AGAIN




I suggest banning cold.
 
2014-02-10 03:21:11 PM  

Disaster Transport: My roommate freshman year at Western Michigan fell asleep in the bushes around 100 yards from our dormitory door. She told me about it the next morning. A "nice guy" woke her up at about 4 a.m. and helped her back to our room. This was in early October I think... it was warm enough outside for her not to freeze. Still I remember just thinking how crazy drunk she must have been, that she couldn't make it the extra 2 minute walk to the room.


That's drunk brain telling you that you are sleepy, and these bushes are a nice cozy place to curl up and go to sleep. You have to have enough sense about you to tell drunk brain to go fark off.
 
2014-02-10 03:26:32 PM  

Pitabred: neversubmit: Not a bad way to go.

Not a painful way to go, no. It is a pretty bad way to go, though.


How so?
 
2014-02-10 03:27:44 PM  
This happened not too far from my house. The bar he was drinking at is one of my favorites.

My wife bartends (not at Brew's) and her first thought was of the bartender that may have over-served this guy. They are pretty hard on bartenders for that kind of thing around here. It can be difficult to tell when some people are too intoxicated, or how a couple of drinks will really affect their judgment.
 
2014-02-10 03:32:07 PM  
I want to party with that guy, he really knows how to chill.
 
2014-02-10 03:42:24 PM  

EdNortonsTwin: David Hallman III

Back to the drawing board, Dad.


Oh, wow, that was just heartless.
 
2014-02-10 03:45:58 PM  
Clevon's kid has many replacements. img.fark.net
 
2014-02-10 03:51:40 PM  

neversubmit: Pitabred: neversubmit: Not a bad way to go.

Not a painful way to go, no. It is a pretty bad way to go, though.

How so?


Prime of your life? Young, fit? That's never really a good way to go, period. Old and in your sleep is a good way to go. Young and freezing to death because of a mistake is not, even if it didn't hurt much.
 
2014-02-10 03:51:52 PM  
I decided to walk home once in college.  It was 2 miles tops.  And, on one road in a straight line.

I remember starting the walk.

Then, I remember noticing that I didn't know where I was.  For some reason, my auto pilot made me turn onto an intersecting street.

A car of girls that lived in the same area I did stopped and asked if I needed a ride.  I took it.

It was kind of amazing.  I went from walking home to lost to home eating pizza in around an hour.
 
2014-02-10 04:04:36 PM  
All these stories... I'm really grateful for my built-in drunk-ass homing beacon.

No matter how many shots I did the night before, no matter how black-out drunk I got in college, I would *always* wake up feeling like death and wanting to kill myself in my bed or someone elses.

Never failed.

/You can move the ass hyphen over if you'd prefer, it holds up
 
2014-02-10 04:07:08 PM  

lemurs: miss diminutive: If you're going to get that hammered, use the buddy system.

That doesn't always work either.


It probably would have had her friends waited a few minutes for her to make it inside instead of dumping her and leaving right away.
 
2014-02-10 04:27:11 PM  

Pitabred: neversubmit: Pitabred: neversubmit: Not a bad way to go.

Not a painful way to go, no. It is a pretty bad way to go, though.

How so?

Prime of your life? Young, fit? That's never really a good way to go, period. Old and in your sleep is a good way to go. Young and freezing to death because of a mistake is not, even if it didn't hurt much.


You sound young, I envy that.
:)
 
2014-02-10 04:29:02 PM  

Mr.Hawk: doubled99: Surely we can pass some sort of law to ensure that this NEVER HAPPENS AGAIN

I suggest banning cold.


Some are trying to do that, but Al Gore has started a reverse campaign.
 
2014-02-10 04:58:36 PM  
I once got so drunk that I walked into a strangers home and crashed on their couch. Apparently, I was very polite about the whole thing. Took me 3 days to find my car. It was on top of a mountain.

Bonus: I just turned 21 last October.

/Gotta slow down.
//I love college.
 
2014-02-10 05:07:56 PM  

Wrath of Heaven: All these stories... I'm really grateful for my built-in drunk-ass homing beacon.


imgs.xkcd.com
 
2014-02-10 05:14:19 PM  

neversubmit: Pitabred: neversubmit: Pitabred: neversubmit: Not a bad way to go.

Not a painful way to go, no. It is a pretty bad way to go, though.

How so?

Prime of your life? Young, fit? That's never really a good way to go, period. Old and in your sleep is a good way to go. Young and freezing to death because of a mistake is not, even if it didn't hurt much.

You sound young, I envy that.
:)


Relatively ;) Early 30's. Kid up the street from me died a similar way when I was in middle school, sports captain, etc., his friends left him drunk on his front lawn, and he died from alcohol poisoning, not freezing.

It's a stupid and totally preventable thing, definitely Darwin in action, but like I said... not a good way to go ;)
 
2014-02-10 05:31:15 PM  
BafflerMeal:

Ah, cartoon memories! IIRC the dog mixing the martini was in a Bugs Bunny cartoon. The drink was for HIM and he kept showing up drunk at his rescues. Can't remember if he had a name tho.
 
2014-02-10 05:47:28 PM  

SuperDarly: Wrath of Heaven: All these stories... I'm really grateful for my built-in drunk-ass homing beacon.

[imgs.xkcd.com image 500x342]


Giggity
 
2014-02-10 05:47:40 PM  
lohphat: Welcome to fark,blah blah blah.

Imagine the call to the parents.


 Had this happen not too long ago in my hometown to a young adult. Very sad. I worked with her mother, very sweet lady.
 
2014-02-10 05:53:56 PM  

FarkingReading: Onkel Buck: This same thing happend in Richmond, Michigan this weekend. But the victim was a 22 year old female. No word on how hot she was


I'm guessing ambient temperature.
 
2014-02-10 05:59:42 PM  

Bedstead Polisher: gopher321: Bedstead Polisher: I once woke up in the middle of the night to open my window and let some air in. As I lifted the blinds to open the window, I noticed that my neighbour was passed out on the front lawn/driveway. I watched her for a second to see if she was breathing, then I went back to sleep. She was gone by morning. She survived.

My hero!

I hate that stupid white trash biatch. She throws loud parties and is a mean drunk, so she's always screaming at people. Other neighbours have called the cops on her.
I would have felt guilty as hell if she wasn't okay though.


There can be a fine line between passed out drunk and dead. She could have been breathing when you looked and dead five minutes later. See Pitabred's above post about someone being left on the lawn by his friends and dying of alcohol poisoning. So yeah... good thing she was okay after all...

Fun tip if it happens again: go outside and shake the passed out moron. If she's unresponsive to noise and vigorous shaking, call 911. Alternatively, put your knuckles on her sternum, press down hard, and move your knuckles around*. It hurts but doesn't do any lasting damage. If there's still no response, say "fark you, biatch" and walk away call 911.

* an EMT friend told me that's one way they determine if a passed out drunk really needs a fast ride to the hospital
 
2014-02-10 06:02:55 PM  

o_blah: This happened not too far from my house. The bar he was drinking at is one of my favorites.

My wife bartends (not at Brew's) and her first thought was of the bartender that may have over-served this guy. They are pretty hard on bartenders for that kind of thing around here. It can be difficult to tell when some people are too intoxicated, or how a couple of drinks will really affect their judgment.


My first thought was that if he was drinking at the restaurant, the bartender/server is farked. I believe the claim that it can be hard to tell if someone is too intoxicated to drive, but this kid was so intoxicated he fell asleep outside and froze to death. That's pretty farking drunk. The bartender should have noticed.
 
2014-02-10 06:23:36 PM  

patrick767: Bedstead Polisher: gopher321: Bedstead Polisher: I once woke up in the middle of the night to open my window and let some air in. As I lifted the blinds to open the window, I noticed that my neighbour was passed out on the front lawn/driveway. I watched her for a second to see if she was breathing, then I went back to sleep. She was gone by morning. She survived.

My hero!

I hate that stupid white trash biatch. She throws loud parties and is a mean drunk, so she's always screaming at people. Other neighbours have called the cops on her.
I would have felt guilty as hell if she wasn't okay though.

There can be a fine line between passed out drunk and dead. She could have been breathing when you looked and dead five minutes later. See Pitabred's above post about someone being left on the lawn by his friends and dying of alcohol poisoning. So yeah... good thing she was okay after all...

Fun tip if it happens again: go outside and shake the passed out moron. If she's unresponsive to noise and vigorous shaking, call 911. Alternatively, put your knuckles on her sternum, press down hard, and move your knuckles around*. It hurts but doesn't do any lasting damage. If there's still no response, say "fark you, biatch" and walk away call 911.

* an EMT friend told me that's one way they determine if a passed out drunk really needs a fast ride to the hospital


Thanks for the tip. I hope it doesn't happen again. I've unfortunately dealt with enough situations that required a 911 call, so I wouldn't hesitate if I thought someone needed it. The situation above happened a few years ago, I think I was half asleep when it all happened, otherwise I probably would have noticed the  potential danger of the situation. The neighbour also seems to have calmed down a bit with her partying since then. (At least around our neighbourhood.)
 
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