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(Failure Magazine)   "I won the jackpot at the MGM Grand's Lion's Share slot machine" ... said no one ever   (failuremag.com ) divider line
    More: Unlikely, MGM Grand, MGM  
•       •       •

6348 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 10 Feb 2014 at 10:01 AM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



37 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-02-10 09:13:47 AM  
Obvious tag in a back room with no cameras getting beat down?
 
2014-02-10 10:11:49 AM  
There's a place called Failure Magazine? Why have I not been informed of this?
 
2014-02-10 10:14:49 AM  

bluenovaman: Obvious tag in a back room with no cameras getting beat down?


i78.photobucket.com

"Listen to me, Obvious Tag. I got your head in a f*ckin' vise. I'll squash your head like a f*ckin' grapefruit if you don't give me a name. Don't make me have to do this, please. Don't make me be a bad guy, come on."
 
2014-02-10 10:19:21 AM  
treasure.diylol.com

Stupid....it lasts forever.
 
2014-02-10 10:20:11 AM  
FTFA: No one has won the jackpot on the progressive jackpot slot machine in two decades, which is why devotees consider it way past due.

Alright, somebody get out the "probability does not work that way!" mallet.
 
2014-02-10 10:33:52 AM  
So is it just the jackpot that fails to win or does this thing not payout at all?
 
2014-02-10 10:43:29 AM  
I just look for this guy...
m5.paperblog.com

... machines seem to pay out around him for some reason...
 
2014-02-10 10:44:34 AM  

vwarb: FTFA: No one has won the jackpot on the progressive jackpot slot machine in two decades, which is why devotees consider it way past due.

Alright, somebody get out the "probability does not work that way!" mallet.


I was just about to bust out Morbo.gif, but I see that's not needed.
 
2014-02-10 10:49:08 AM  
According to my friend, she goes to Vegas every year and "wins" several hundred dollars playing slots. Because she only counts what comes out in winnings, not what she puts in.

I really need to teach her poker and invite her to our monthly poker nights.
 
2014-02-10 10:56:42 AM  

ChrisDe: According to my friend, she goes to Vegas every year and "wins" several hundred dollars playing slots. Because she only counts what comes out in winnings, not what she puts in.

I really need to teach her poker and invite her to our monthly poker nights.


Teach her Pai Gow Poker, sit her down at the $5 table at the El Cortez, and watch her spend only $150 during your trip.
 
2014-02-10 10:59:21 AM  
2 decades and the jackpot is only 2.3 million?  That seems awfully low.
 
2014-02-10 11:02:40 AM  

ChrisDe: According to my friend, she goes to Vegas every year and "wins" several hundred dollars playing slots. Because she only counts what comes out in winnings, not what she puts in.

I really need to teach her poker and invite her to our monthly poker nights.


CSB time.  Last March I went to Vegas for a couple of nights, started drinking and playing the Wheel of Fortune slot machines at the Luxor.  I got drunk enough that I just kept pushing the "spin" button and didn't keep track of how much money I was winning or losing.

Next morning I woke up, hungover and with no memory of returning to my hotel room.  I counted my money and found out that I was ahead $600.  It's one of the only times I've come out ahead playing slots, and definitely the most I've ever won at slots.
 
2014-02-10 11:05:04 AM  
Crazy!
 
2014-02-10 11:40:33 AM  

Stile4aly: ChrisDe: According to my friend, she goes to Vegas every year and "wins" several hundred dollars playing slots. Because she only counts what comes out in winnings, not what she puts in.

I really need to teach her poker and invite her to our monthly poker nights.

Teach her Pai Gow Poker, sit her down at the $5 table at the El Cortez, and watch her spend only $150 during your trip.


That's really good advice but does a $5 Pai Gow Poker table actually exist?  I used to work the Pai Gow table occasionally when I was a dealer and the lowest I ever seen it was $15 minimum.  However, it's such a slow game and you push half the time so you still wouldn't lose much anyway.  It's one of the only games I'll play if I end up at a casino.
 
2014-02-10 11:48:27 AM  

dome maravilloso: Stile4aly: ChrisDe: According to my friend, she goes to Vegas every year and "wins" several hundred dollars playing slots. Because she only counts what comes out in winnings, not what she puts in.

I really need to teach her poker and invite her to our monthly poker nights.

Teach her Pai Gow Poker, sit her down at the $5 table at the El Cortez, and watch her spend only $150 during your trip.

That's really good advice but does a $5 Pai Gow Poker table actually exist?  I used to work the Pai Gow table occasionally when I was a dealer and the lowest I ever seen it was $15 minimum.  However, it's such a slow game and you push half the time so you still wouldn't lose much anyway.  It's one of the only games I'll play if I end up at a casino.


Yup.  $5 at the El Cortez.  Just avoid the meth addicts, and you'll be fine.
 
2014-02-10 12:09:14 PM  
It's due, huh? Well, by that logic I'm just going to bet my life savings on the Cubs to win it all this year. How can I lose?!? It's free money!
 
2014-02-10 12:27:52 PM  

vwarb: FTFA: No one has won the jackpot on the progressive jackpot slot machine in two decades, which is why devotees consider it way past due.

Alright, somebody get out the "probability does not work that way!" mallet.


This is exactly how people view the Power Ball / Megamillions jackpots. " well someone has to win this time , give me $10 worth ".
 
2014-02-10 12:49:40 PM  

Raider_dad: vwarb: FTFA: No one has won the jackpot on the progressive jackpot slot machine in two decades, which is why devotees consider it way past due.

Alright, somebody get out the "probability does not work that way!" mallet.

This is exactly how people view the Power Ball / Megamillions jackpots. " well someone has to win this time , give me $10 worth ".


I win those by not playing.
 
2014-02-10 12:49:54 PM  
Most of the casinos off the strip will have $5 pai gow. On the strip it will be between $10-25/hand depending on the day of the week, time of day, and the casino.

I love pai gow for socializing and drinking. The house take is 5% and it's pretty slow paced. That being said, if you want a real chance to win money gambling in Vegas, play poker against other people.


dome maravilloso: Stile4aly: ChrisDe: According to my friend, she goes to Vegas every year and "wins" several hundred dollars playing slots. Because she only counts what comes out in winnings, not what she puts in.

I really need to teach her poker and invite her to our monthly poker nights.

Teach her Pai Gow Poker, sit her down at the $5 table at the El Cortez, and watch her spend only $150 during your trip.

That's really good advice but does a $5 Pai Gow Poker table actually exist?  I used to work the Pai Gow table occasionally when I was a dealer and the lowest I ever seen it was $15 minimum.  However, it's such a slow game and you push half the time so you still wouldn't lose much anyway.  It's one of the only games I'll play if I end up at a casino.

 
2014-02-10 01:17:30 PM  

everlastinggobstopper: Most of the casinos off the strip will have $5 pai gow. On the strip it will be between $10-25/hand depending on the day of the week, time of day, and the casino.

I love pai gow for socializing and drinking. The house take is 5% and it's pretty slow paced. That being said, if you want a real chance to win money gambling in Vegas, play poker against other people.


Is there a reason to play pai gow poker over pai gow? I mean, pai gow isn't that hard to learn. Is it just that no American casino wants to buy the tiles?

Or does pai gow poker have better/worse odds? (I've played pai gow, but never pai gow poker.)
 
2014-02-10 01:25:39 PM  
Isn't there some kind of statute or something that says slots must pay out '$x' for every 'n' times played? I thought there was. Otherwise, the thing could be rigged to never win.
 
2014-02-10 02:10:24 PM  

RoxtarRyan: Isn't there some kind of statute or something that says slots must pay out '$x' for every 'n' times played? I thought there was. Otherwise, the thing could be rigged to never win.


I believe it's x% of plays over the lifetime of the machine.  And as long as it's paying out that percentage, it's fine. Plus, it's not like lower big wins aren't possible to put it within range of x%.
 
2014-02-10 02:18:24 PM  

IlGreven: RoxtarRyan: Isn't there some kind of statute or something that says slots must pay out '$x' for every 'n' times played? I thought there was. Otherwise, the thing could be rigged to never win.

I believe it's x% of plays over the lifetime of the machine.  And as long as it's paying out that percentage, it's fine. Plus, it's not like lower big wins aren't possible to put it within range of x%.


Pretty much this. A slot machine/electronic gaming machine must declare it's theoretical payback. So long as the percentage hold of the player is within the acceptable margin of error (after X spins), AND every prize offered in the game is actually achievable, not much to complain about.
 
2014-02-10 02:29:29 PM  

dome maravilloso: Stile4aly: ChrisDe: According to my friend, she goes to Vegas every year and "wins" several hundred dollars playing slots. Because she only counts what comes out in winnings, not what she puts in.

I really need to teach her poker and invite her to our monthly poker nights.

Teach her Pai Gow Poker, sit her down at the $5 table at the El Cortez, and watch her spend only $150 during your trip.

That's really good advice but does a $5 Pai Gow Poker table actually exist?  I used to work the Pai Gow table occasionally when I was a dealer and the lowest I ever seen it was $15 minimum.  However, it's such a slow game and you push half the time so you still wouldn't lose much anyway.  It's one of the only games I'll play if I end up at a casino.


South Point.  Just 'bout a mile off the strip.  They always have 5 dollar pai gow on weeknights.  And aside from the awesomeness of Freemont, it's my favorite place in Vegas to gamble.
 
2014-02-10 02:42:48 PM  

darkmayo: So is it just the jackpot that fails to win or does this thing not payout at all?


When we were there, it was paying out well; in general it is just a rather improbable jackpot with only 1 machine instead of tons of them linked together
 
2014-02-10 02:44:25 PM  

TheMatt: everlastinggobstopper: Most of the casinos off the strip will have $5 pai gow. On the strip it will be between $10-25/hand depending on the day of the week, time of day, and the casino.

I love pai gow for socializing and drinking. The house take is 5% and it's pretty slow paced. That being said, if you want a real chance to win money gambling in Vegas, play poker against other people.

Is there a reason to play pai gow poker over pai gow? I mean, pai gow isn't that hard to learn. Is it just that no American casino wants to buy the tiles?

Or does pai gow poker have better/worse odds? (I've played pai gow, but never pai gow poker.)


Check out wizard of odds for a full breakdown. Pai Gow Poker is a little more fun, but with the dominos, if you take your time betting, you could be there all night on 100 dollars starting (you'll be able to drink most of the night) if you find a 10 dollar table (rare, most are 25)
 
2014-02-10 02:52:33 PM  

TheManofPA: TheMatt: everlastinggobstopper: Most of the casinos off the strip will have $5 pai gow. On the strip it will be between $10-25/hand depending on the day of the week, time of day, and the casino.

I love pai gow for socializing and drinking. The house take is 5% and it's pretty slow paced. That being said, if you want a real chance to win money gambling in Vegas, play poker against other people.

Is there a reason to play pai gow poker over pai gow? I mean, pai gow isn't that hard to learn. Is it just that no American casino wants to buy the tiles?

Or does pai gow poker have better/worse odds? (I've played pai gow, but never pai gow poker.)

Check out wizard of odds for a full breakdown. Pai Gow Poker is a little more fun, but with the dominos, if you take your time betting, you could be there all night on 100 dollars starting (you'll be able to drink most of the night) if you find a 10 dollar table (rare, most are 25)


Pai Gow is my wife's favorite game for just that reason.  Our last trip out we went to the South Point our last night in town.  We both had a hundred bucks, plus I had another 200 or so I'd won on a slot the night before.  We were there about 3 hours, I was on craps and she sat at pai gaw, and she had a net of about -3 dollars.  I had to assure her she was mistaken in thinking I'd won any money on slots the night before
 
2014-02-10 03:05:01 PM  

TheMatt: everlastinggobstopper: Most of the casinos off the strip will have $5 pai gow. On the strip it will be between $10-25/hand depending on the day of the week, time of day, and the casino.

I love pai gow for socializing and drinking. The house take is 5% and it's pretty slow paced. That being said, if you want a real chance to win money gambling in Vegas, play poker against other people.

Is there a reason to play pai gow poker over pai gow? I mean, pai gow isn't that hard to learn. Is it just that no American casino wants to buy the tiles?

Or does pai gow poker have better/worse odds? (I've played pai gow, but never pai gow poker.)


Pai gow tiles has better odds if you know what you're doing.  It's basically the same game though except you're using 32 tiles compared to a 53 card deck.  Personally, I'll play tiles instead of poker because the players - in my experience - seem to be more fun.

Most larger casinos have a few pai gow tile tables.  I don't think it's an issue of the tiles being too expensive.  Most dealer schools outside of Vegas only teach card games.  Using tiles creates a whole different set of handling policies which is hard to train and staff for.  For example if you had one pai gow tile table you'd need dealers, a pit boss, and surveillance staff that all know what's going on.  It's not cost effective for a smaller casino to train all those people when they can just make that table a blackjack table instead.
 
2014-02-10 03:16:41 PM  

BilldaCat10: 2 decades and the jackpot is only 2.3 million?  That seems awfully low.


Especially for a slot machine that is always busy and takes $1, $2 and $3 bets
 
2014-02-10 05:12:35 PM  

Persnickety: BilldaCat10: 2 decades and the jackpot is only 2.3 million?  That seems awfully low.

Especially for a slot machine that is always busy and takes $1, $2 and $3 bets


You're looking at an average of $315/day. Assuming the average wager is placed at $2, that's 157 plays/day. So 1,146,100 pulls of the handle. And not a win?

OR I'm wagering the thing pays out in a lot of smaller sums, but the jackpot builds up separately and is only a portion of the money put in.
 
2014-02-10 05:21:39 PM  

INeedAName: Persnickety: BilldaCat10: 2 decades and the jackpot is only 2.3 million?  That seems awfully low.

Especially for a slot machine that is always busy and takes $1, $2 and $3 bets

You're looking at an average of $315/day. Assuming the average wager is placed at $2, that's 157 plays/day. So 1,146,100 pulls of the handle. And not a win?

OR I'm wagering the thing pays out in a lot of smaller sums, but the jackpot builds up separately and is only a portion of the money put in.


On a machine like this usually the jackpot is a few pennies of every dollar. So, a three dollar bet might only advance the jackpot 12 cents.
 
2014-02-10 05:27:36 PM  

Slaves2Darkness: INeedAName: Persnickety: BilldaCat10: 2 decades and the jackpot is only 2.3 million?  That seems awfully low.

Especially for a slot machine that is always busy and takes $1, $2 and $3 bets

You're looking at an average of $315/day. Assuming the average wager is placed at $2, that's 157 plays/day. So 1,146,100 pulls of the handle. And not a win?

OR I'm wagering the thing pays out in a lot of smaller sums, but the jackpot builds up separately and is only a portion of the money put in.

On a machine like this usually the jackpot is a few pennies of every dollar. So, a three dollar bet might only advance the jackpot 12 cents.


right.   and if this machine is packed day and night.. 2.3 million still seems very small.

maybe i'm too used to seeing those huge networked jackpots.
 
2014-02-10 05:29:01 PM  
Cool, I'm glad to see others are fans of Pai Gow Poker.

FYI for those who prefer to stick around the strip despite the higher minimums - NYNY and Luxor will have $10 tables in the day, and they'll grandfather you in when the minimums increase. I remember a shift change and the pit boss saying "He's been here since 11:00 PM". I looked at my watch, 4am. I cashed out shortly after for about what I had cashed in, even after the tips I'd been giving to waitresses and dealers.
 
2014-02-10 07:21:10 PM  
I like the MGM. They always comp the hell out of me. They have one of the better breakfasts as well.
 
2014-02-10 08:25:25 PM  

peewinkle: I like the MGM. They always comp the hell out of me. They have one of the better breakfasts as well.


The Cosmo is where it's at, baby. Wicked Spoon brunch rocks... well worth the extra $5 just to get the VIP access and skip the mega lineup.
 
2014-02-11 11:40:03 AM  
There are better ways to win in Vegas ...

25.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-02-11 12:27:01 PM  

Prophet of Loss: There are better ways to win in Vegas ...

[25.media.tumblr.com image 333x500]


I can't tell if that's a hairball, or lint from under the bed at Bill's Gamblin' Saloon.
 
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