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(WOAI San Antonio)   Your future password may be your B.O.   ( divider line
    More: Interesting, B.O, biometrics, passwords  
•       •       •

3813 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Feb 2014 at 9:27 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2014-02-10 09:38:40 AM  
6 votes:
Hell, my garage door will open when I'm still three blocks away from it.
2014-02-10 10:12:28 AM  
3 votes:
Help Desk.  How can I abuse you?

I can't log on.  The system says "Invalid Smell"

Yes sir.  I can help you.  Which arm pit are you using?

My left one.

Sir.  It shows, you usually use your right armpit.  Are you trying to sign in under duress?  Is there someone there forcing you to login?  You can answer Whether for Yes or Weather for no.

What?  No.  I just want to logon.

C'mon, sir.  Whether or weather.  I can help.

No!  I just need to login!

Okay sir.  I assume you are not under duress and simply need access to your computer.  I'm resetting the biometric sniffer to your default body odor.  This is the one you set up originally.  Please place your right armpit to the sniffer and press "Ready"

I did it.  I'm still seeing the red light.

Yes.  that's because we need additional metrics.  Please drop your trousers and put your junk on the sniffer and press "Ready".

Really?  My stuff?

If you want access to your computer and you aren't under duress, this should be an easy procedure.

Okay.  Okay.  My junk is on the reader and I'm pressing "Ready".   Ow!  My balls!

That was just a mild shock to tell you the reader was accessing your stench profile.  You should have access now.

Yes.  I can get to my work now.

Oh.  And since we've instituted a non-repudiation security procedure for sending e-mail, you'll have to put your junk on the reader every time you send an e-mail.  It's your new digital signature.

Really?  An I going to get shocked every time I send an e-mail?

A mildly large one.  Yes.

I'm never sending an e-mail again.

It certainly has cut down on the number of e-mails this company sends.
2014-02-10 09:32:54 AM  
3 votes:
Sure beats using the combination to my luggage.
2014-02-10 10:00:24 AM  
2 votes:
Good Afternoon, Harry Freakstorm. You Body Order Stench Quotient has gone up 25% since your last logon. Were you:

A: In an endless Meeting with that windbag?
B: Using the stairs because you are afraid the elevator doors will crush you?
C: Talking to Julie in Accounting and generally making yourself look and smell even worse?
2014-02-10 09:00:24 AM  
2 votes:
Great, now I've gotta run in place for ten minutes every time I forget my alphanumeric password to ensure I got a nice fresh stank
2014-02-10 09:00:00 AM  
2 votes:
Thanks Barack Obama.
2014-02-10 11:14:24 AM  
1 vote:
sweat, and dead man's balls
2014-02-10 09:56:50 AM  
1 vote:
That stinks
2014-02-10 09:37:54 AM  
1 vote:
The biometric code to my nonexistent BO in alphanumeric form is ABC123, so I won't have to change any of my passwords for anything ever.
/also, my flatulence smells of freshly baked cinnamon rolls
Displayed 9 of 9 comments

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