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(BBC)   Copenhagen zoo plans to euthanize 18 month old male giraffe. Apparently some people have a problem with this, though the lions seem to be fine with it   (bbc.co.uk) divider line 93
    More: Asinine, Copenhagen Zoo, Copenhagen, Svenska Dagbladet  
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7531 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Feb 2014 at 12:26 PM (31 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-02-08 12:13:03 PM
Free giraffe
 
2014-02-08 12:27:55 PM
I bet they could make a fortune if they had a giant barbeque. I'd pay a premium for a giraffe steak.
 
2014-02-08 12:29:43 PM
Aren't giraffes getting kind of rare thanks to a-hole poachers?

I don't believe they can't pull the strings to get that "little guy" a home.
 
2014-02-08 12:31:36 PM
FTA:  I bet they could make a fortune if they had a giant barbeque. I'd pay a premium for a giraffe steak.

Man, if the US ever becomes part of the EU, the south of the US is SCREWED.
 
2014-02-08 12:33:45 PM

walktoanarcade: Aren't giraffes getting kind of rare thanks to a-hole poachers?

I don't believe they can't pull the strings to get that "little guy" a home.


not in the slightest
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Giraffe
listed as "least concern"
 
2014-02-08 12:33:52 PM
You know who else liked to euthanize things in Europe?
 
2014-02-08 12:34:02 PM
Is it not possible to castrate a giraffe like with dogs and horses?
 
2014-02-08 12:35:43 PM

baconbeard: I bet they could make a fortune if they had a giant barbeque. I'd pay a premium for a giraffe steak.


18 months. Mmm what's the giraffe equivalent of veal?
 
2014-02-08 12:36:01 PM
I kind of understand. They don't want him to knock boots with any of his sisters. I support this idea; mainly because the alternative is white giraffes, with purple eyes.


/ And don't forget an obsession with dragons and iron chairs

// you wouldn't want to wake the dragon?
 
2014-02-08 12:36:16 PM

walktoanarcade: Aren't giraffes getting kind of rare thanks to a-hole poachers?

I don't believe they can't pull the strings to get that "little guy" a home.


A-hole Poachers:  College band name or gay slur?
 
2014-02-08 12:38:38 PM
Neuter/fix/vasectomy the critter.  What's the problem?  It's easy.
 
2014-02-08 12:39:13 PM
the lion sleeps tonight
 
2014-02-08 12:40:54 PM

Maggie_Luna: Is it not possible to castrate a giraffe like with dogs and horses?


I'm also wondering why this isn't being considered as a solution. Then he can live and they won't have to worry about him mating with any of the females.
 
2014-02-08 12:41:59 PM
The lions deserve their tasty num-nums, also.  Please think about *their* rights.
 
2014-02-08 12:43:39 PM
giraffes are insincere
 
2014-02-08 12:44:04 PM

Aquapope: Neuter/fix/vasectomy the critter.  What's the problem?  It's easy.


Has the whole world gone crazy? Am I the only one around here who gives a shiat about the rules?

/ mark it a zero
 
2014-02-08 12:44:13 PM

Brittabot: Maggie_Luna: Is it not possible to castrate a giraffe like with dogs and horses?

I'm also wondering why this isn't being considered as a solution. Then he can live and they won't have to worry about him mating with any of the females.


static.tumblr.com

Nature finds a way...
 
2014-02-08 12:44:19 PM
Seems kind of sad, but why can't anyone else take it?

Is it too big to fit into Putin's purse?

If no other zoo or animal sanctuary can take it, I guess the zoo has to be practical about it.  I have room for him here.  Okay, well not the vertical space.  I'd be willing to accept donations from his supporters to remodel.

OTOH, we emphasize spaying and neutering our dogs and cats, why won't it work on giraffes?
 
2014-02-08 12:44:44 PM
If they want to dispatch the animal now, why the fark did they get/breed him in the first place?
 
2014-02-08 12:45:45 PM
Why don't they just throw it in with the lions and see what happens. That would be a helluva field trip to be on that day. Although a grown giraffe is capable of kicking the shiat out of some lions though. It could be interesting.
 
2014-02-08 12:49:49 PM

Loucifer: walktoanarcade: Aren't giraffes getting kind of rare thanks to a-hole poachers?

I don't believe they can't pull the strings to get that "little guy" a home.

A-hole Poachers:  College band name or gay slur?


Definitely a punk band.
 
2014-02-08 12:50:01 PM

nullptr: If they want to dispatch the animal now, why the fark did they get/breed him in the first place?


You ever try to stop two giraffes farking?
 
2014-02-08 12:51:07 PM

The_Original_Roxtar: walktoanarcade: Aren't giraffes getting kind of rare thanks to a-hole poachers?

I don't believe they can't pull the strings to get that "little guy" a home.

not in the slightest
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Giraffe
listed as "least concern"


Wow, I love surprise good news. Thanks. :) Still, I am against killing a healthy animal for weak reasons(so don't let it mate).
 
2014-02-08 12:51:10 PM
Co-o-openhagen! It makes me feel so good!
Copenhagen, the way I know it should!
I put a little chew in my mouth
Go hackin' and gaggin' all around the house,
That Copenhagen, it makes me feel so-o-o good! How 'bout you?

I have nothing else to add, can't seem to muster up any outrage about a zoo using practical livestock management practices.
 
2014-02-08 12:52:04 PM

Hermione_Granger: Why don't they just throw it in with the lions and see what happens. That would be a helluva field trip to be on that day. Although a grown giraffe is capable of kicking the shiat out of some lions though. It could be interesting.


that' what i was going to say, it would be a win win for the lions, the zoo and the spectators
 
2014-02-08 12:53:11 PM
Copenhagen Zoo says it needs to kill the giraffe before it becomes an adult and attempts to mate.

problem solved?

s14.postimg.org
 
2014-02-08 12:54:11 PM
They could miniaturize it with a laser and sell it to the Russians
 
2014-02-08 12:55:44 PM

walktoanarcade: The_Original_Roxtar: walktoanarcade: Aren't giraffes getting kind of rare thanks to a-hole poachers?

I don't believe they can't pull the strings to get that "little guy" a home.

not in the slightest
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Giraffe
listed as "least concern"

Wow, I love surprise good news. Thanks. :) Still, I am against killing a healthy animal for weak reasons(so don't let it mate).


Some, might say, a fate worse than death,,,
 
2014-02-08 12:59:57 PM
Why not auction off a license to hunt it and then sell the meat to Japan? When life hands you a lemon... Amirite?
 
2014-02-08 01:01:46 PM

iheartscotch: nullptr: If they want to dispatch the animal now, why the fark did they get/breed him in the first place?

You ever try to stop two giraffes farking?


They just walk around all day eating, and not mating. You sold me queer giraffes.
 
2014-02-08 01:02:15 PM
Can someone explain why it's so hard to 'find it a home'?  I mean, wouldn't anyone with a large backyard and lots of foliage be able to take it in?
 
2014-02-08 01:02:37 PM
OK, Challenge accepted.
Off to Reddit.
See if I can find enough bleedin supporters to finance transportation to my safe haven(brand new, state of the art), feeding, housing, giraffe hookers, retraining the Noble Animal for release back into the wilds of Africa. Maybe to The Farm.
like where all my dogs and cats went
 
2014-02-08 01:03:43 PM
Skoal Zoo giraffe is doing just fine.
 
2014-02-08 01:04:12 PM

Maggie_Luna: Is it not possible to castrate a giraffe like with dogs and horses?


This.
Neuter the farking giraffe and call it a day.
 
2014-02-08 01:04:30 PM

snocone: walktoanarcade: The_Original_Roxtar: walktoanarcade: Aren't giraffes getting kind of rare thanks to a-hole poachers?

I don't believe they can't pull the strings to get that "little guy" a home.

not in the slightest
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Giraffe
listed as "least concern"

Wow, I love surprise good news. Thanks. :) Still, I am against killing a healthy animal for weak reasons(so don't let it mate).

Some, might say, a fate worse than death,,,


oooh good point :(

And now for a joke: a Koala walks into a bar, orders a beer and nachos. He eats the nachos, but doesn't take a sip of his beer, then suddenly gets up, produces a pistol and shoots the piano player dead.  The outraged bartender jumps over the bar and grabs the koala's arm and demands:Why did you DO THAT?! What's wrong with you?!"  to which the koala looks at him in the eyes and says:"Hey, buddy, I'm a koala, get a dictionary." and with that he left.

The confused bartender finds his dictionary and finds:


"Koala; noun, a marsupial that eats, shoots, and leaves."
 
2014-02-08 01:05:52 PM

UrinalPooper: Can someone explain why it's so hard to 'find it a home'?  I mean, wouldn't anyone with a large backyard and lots of foliage be able to take it in?


images3.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2014-02-08 01:07:43 PM
What Maggie_Luna, Aquapope, The Loaf & gfid typed above.  Why can't/won't they just alter/"fix" Marius?  Of Course, if they do euth him & feed him to big cats, they need no longer pay to feed him. That may actually be part of why...
 
2014-02-08 01:09:36 PM

Jacobin: They could miniaturize it with a laser and sell it to the Russians


Yes, why is there never a Russian billionaire around when you need one to save a tiny* giraffe?

*Relatively speaking.
 
2014-02-08 01:10:37 PM

NIXON YOU DOLT!!!!!: iheartscotch: nullptr: If they want to dispatch the animal now, why the fark did they get/breed him in the first place?

You ever try to stop two giraffes farking?

They just walk around all day eating, and not mating. You sold me queer giraffes.


Are you not entertained?
 
2014-02-08 01:24:40 PM

Wolsey: Maggie_Luna: Is it not possible to castrate a giraffe like with dogs and horses?

This.
Neuter the farking giraffe and call it a day.


Maybe this is better publicity, eh?
 
2014-02-08 01:25:29 PM
According to the comments in this article, (and we know all article comments are 100% correct) two zoos have already made offers to take him.  I wonder why they won't accept those offers?  Seems like good publicity would be just as valuable as free meat.
 
2014-02-08 01:25:40 PM
SHENANIGANS!

i b fast u b slow
 
2014-02-08 01:26:02 PM

iheartscotch: I kind of understand. They don't want him to knock boots with any of his sisters. I support this idea; mainly because the alternative is white giraffes, with purple eyes.


/ And don't forget an obsession with dragons and iron chairs

// you wouldn't want to wake the dragon?


I priced actual giraffe skulls a while back. farkin' things aren't cheap. Replicas are much more reasonable. Yes, my wife thinks I'm insane for wanting one. Either way, one would look awesome hanging on a wall in my bar at home.
 
2014-02-08 01:27:07 PM
There's no way that giraffe is dying. I'm sure there's a heated international search to find it a new home.
 
2014-02-08 01:27:47 PM
Probably the reason they don't seem to consider neutering him is because giraffes are BIG. They may not have anesthetics that work on giraffes, restraining him for the operation would be difficult, and their surgical facilities just may not be up to it. The time to neuter him the way they do horses would have been before he was bigger than a horse, but that means they would have needed to know a long time ago that they wouldn't be able to find him a home.
 
2014-02-08 01:31:57 PM

Loucifer: walktoanarcade: Aren't giraffes getting kind of rare thanks to a-hole poachers?

I don't believe they can't pull the strings to get that "little guy" a home.

A-hole Poachers:  College band name or gay slur?


It's kinda like Butthole Surfers.  Do they surf buttholes or are they buttholes that surf?
 
2014-02-08 01:36:06 PM

mwenye_kichaa: Probably the reason they don't seem to consider neutering him is because giraffes are BIG. They may not have anesthetics that work on giraffes, restraining him for the operation would be difficult, and their surgical facilities just may not be up to it. The time to neuter him the way they do horses would have been before he was bigger than a horse, but that means they would have needed to know a long time ago that they wouldn't be able to find him a home.


Aww, quit it.

First it was Too Big To Fail.
Then Too Big To Jail.

Not going for Too Big To Castrate.

never
 
2014-02-08 01:40:53 PM

iron_city_ap: iheartscotch: I kind of understand. They don't want him to knock boots with any of his sisters. I support this idea; mainly because the alternative is white giraffes, with purple eyes.


/ And don't forget an obsession with dragons and iron chairs

// you wouldn't want to wake the dragon?

I priced actual giraffe skulls a while back. farkin' things aren't cheap. Replicas are much more reasonable. Yes, my wife thinks I'm insane for wanting one. Either way, one would look awesome hanging on a wall in my bar at home.


I immediately had to GIS "giraffe skull", and wow, that's pretty metal. Now I want one. If only I knew about a soon-to-be-dead giraffe somewhere...
 
2014-02-08 01:46:52 PM
Good for Copenhagen zoo. There should be a wholesale culling of giraffes in zoos and in the wild.

Ever since that horrible day in my childhood when I first saw giraffes drinking from a water hole.... They are an abomination. And I don't care to be sharing the planet with them.

i60.tinypic.com


//  I am quite impressed that their delicate little mouth and lips can chow down on nasty-assed acacia thorns
 
2014-02-08 02:06:54 PM
Hey, it's kosher.

Well, actually the logistics of kosher slaughter would be quite something to overcome, but at least theoretically.
 
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