If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(The New York Times)   Women don't want to have sex with husbands who do their share of the housework. Of course, they don't want to have sex with insensitive husbands who don't do any housework. TL;DR: Married women don't want to have sex with their husbands   (nytimes.com) divider line 267
    More: Interesting  
•       •       •

8132 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Feb 2014 at 1:11 PM (32 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



267 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-02-08 11:59:20 AM
They finally unlocked the key to marriage.
 
2014-02-08 12:22:26 PM

Prey4reign: They finally unlocked the key to marriage.


How do you unlock a key?
 
2014-02-08 12:31:23 PM

incendi: Prey4reign: They finally unlocked the key to marriage.

How do you unlock a key?


Some keystores are password protected. Or so the dorks have told me.
 
2014-02-08 12:39:38 PM

incendi: Prey4reign: They finally unlocked the key to marriage.

How do you unlock a key?


it's keys all the way down
 
2014-02-08 01:01:08 PM
TL;DR: Married women don't want to have sex with their husbands

TADA
If your wife wont fark you, tell her you are getting sex elsewhere.
If she has a problem with this, divorce her.
TADA


./seriously, why is anyone in a sexless, unhappy marriage these days? the kids? WAY TO fark up your children. "Marriage should be unhappy, just like us!!"
 
2014-02-08 01:06:28 PM

namatad: TL;DR: Married women don't want to have sex with their husbands

TADA
If your wife wont fark you, tell her you are getting sex elsewhere.
If she has a problem with this, divorce her.
TADA


./seriously, why is anyone in a sexless, unhappy marriage these days? the kids? WAY TO fark up your children. "Marriage should be unhappy, just like us!!"


Or, gee, you could suck it up and realize there are things more important in life than getting your rocks off.
 
2014-02-08 01:10:02 PM

QU!RK1019: namatad: TL;DR: Married women don't want to have sex with their husbands

TADA
If your wife wont fark you, tell her you are getting sex elsewhere.
If she has a problem with this, divorce her.
TADA


./seriously, why is anyone in a sexless, unhappy marriage these days? the kids? WAY TO fark up your children. "Marriage should be unhappy, just like us!!"

Or, gee, you could suck it up and realize there are things more important in life than getting your rocks off.


No, not really. Everything else that's so important is just a way to get laid.
 
2014-02-08 01:12:40 PM
That's exactly what the prostitute i saw yesterday said! What are the chances?
 
2014-02-08 01:12:59 PM
It's almost as if women want men that act like men and that turns them on.
 
2014-02-08 01:13:25 PM

QU!RK1019: namatad: TL;DR: Married women don't want to have sex with their husbands

TADA
If your wife wont fark you, tell her you are getting sex elsewhere.
If she has a problem with this, divorce her.
TADA


./seriously, why is anyone in a sexless, unhappy marriage these days? the kids? WAY TO fark up your children. "Marriage should be unhappy, just like us!!"

Or, gee, you could suck it up and realize there are things more important in life than getting your rocks off.


HAHAHH HAHAHAH AHHAHAHAH HAHHAHAAH
OR, she could realize that there are more important things than withholding sex from her husband?

step 1) enter into a binding. monogamous relationship
step 2) withhold sex
step 3) wonder why they cheat or divorce you

I wonder how many men would get married if there was a sex clause in their prenuptials.


Look I get that things change over time, but why are they in a monogamous relationship which they refuse to have sex and expect their spouse to do the same?
I get that some people might not care, we are talking about the other 99% of unsexed spouses.

/the number of unhappy. unsexed, married people that I know cracks me up.
/strange, the recently divorced woman that I know is one of the happiest people. she left her sexless marriage and had moved on with her life. She is also one of the most religious people I know. She went with LIFE over setting such a terrible example for her children.
/csb
 
2014-02-08 01:15:07 PM
Sounds like a win-win situation.
 
2014-02-08 01:16:02 PM

incendi: Prey4reign: They finally unlocked the key to marriage.

How do you unlock a key?


i172.photobucket.com
 
2014-02-08 01:16:10 PM
This is why ladies night down at the blind pig is a must go. All of those poor, sex deprived wives and only one me....

/ anyone else notice that if you're hanging out with a girl; other girls come to. Like bleached blonde bumble bees to a flower. Like stilettoed sharks, circling a baby dolphin.
 
2014-02-08 01:17:00 PM
namatad:

./seriously, why is anyone in a sexless, unhappy marriage these days?

The two adjectives are redundant.
 
2014-02-08 01:19:14 PM
"There are always going to be trade-offs."

"Sex in any marriage is idiosyncratic and complex "


But dont try to tell me that one partner should be miserable and sexless because the other partner quit having sex.  Unless sex wasnt part of your marriage in the first place. Why did you get married again?
Religion? Kids? Dont kids require sex??
 
2014-02-08 01:21:13 PM

MemeSlave: namatad:

./seriously, why is anyone in a sexless, unhappy marriage these days?

The two adjectives are redundant.


But I repeat myself.

My ex recently asked me if we could get remarried. She promised sex once a month. Which would have been an infinite improvement. I countered with 3 times a day. She stopped emailing me again, thank science.
/never, ever marry a prude, ffs
 
2014-02-08 01:22:17 PM
Married women don't want to have sex with their husbands.

Which is why men bang other women.

/have been guilty of this
//and probably will be again
 
2014-02-08 01:23:26 PM
This BS again? Plenty of straight men who don't want to have sex with their long-term partner as often as the gal would prefer. Of course, when men start holding out on sex, it's because of their promiscuous biological urges or being tired of the same old vag or some crap. Whereas women who do the same are stereotypical withholding frigid wives. (if a woman gets tired of the same old peen, that's a whole 'nother firestorm).

Also like to point out, there are so many guys out there who can't stand it when their woman tries to initiate sex ... it has to be completely on the man's schedule and terms. Woman acts horny at anything but the appointed time? OH NOEZ SCARY!!! GET AWAY!
 
2014-02-08 01:23:38 PM

namatad: HAHAHH HAHAHAH AHHAHAHAH HAHHAHAAH
OR, she could realize that there are more important things than withholding sex from her husband?

step 1) enter into a binding. monogamous relationship
step 2) withhold sex
step 3) wonder why they cheat or divorce you

I wonder how many men would get married if there was a sex clause in their prenuptials.


Look I get that things change over time, but why are they in a monogamous relationship which they refuse to have sex and expect their spouse to do the same?
I get that some people might not care, we are talking about the other 99% of unsexed spouses.

/the number of unhappy. unsexed, married people that I know cracks me up.
/strange, the recently divorced woman that I know is one of the happiest people. she left her sexless marriage and had moved on with her life. She is also one of the most religious people I know. She went with LIFE over setting such a terrible example for her children.
/csb


Withholding sex, huh?  Like, "Look I have all this sex but I won't let you have any of it"?  Do you know how many women would save their marriages if it was just as simple as "stop withholding"?  Probably not.  Since the idea that anything could be more important than sexual compatibility made you type out "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA," I'm just going to have to assume you are about as sexually mature as a middle schooler.
 
2014-02-08 01:25:10 PM
Married women don't want to have sex with their own husbands.

FTFY
 
2014-02-08 01:25:51 PM

namatad: My ex recently asked me if we could get remarried. She promised sex once a month. Which would have been an infinite improvement. I countered with 3 times a day. She stopped emailing me again, thank science.


Oh that explains everything, actually.
 
2014-02-08 01:26:44 PM
Once a woman stops feeling like she's pursued, she gets bored.

Always have a plan and never stop dating your significant other.
 
2014-02-08 01:27:02 PM
I'm old, we have a young child, and my sex drive has suffered.  Mu hubby is also free to fnd some elsewhere (as am I).  He does, I haven't.  We are happy.  It's not even that we never have sex. It's just a few times a month instead of a few times a week.  I get he needs more even if I don't.

It doesn't have to be so complicated.
 
2014-02-08 01:27:30 PM
When the religious dogma of marriage is eventually eroded away to reveal that the covenant of marriage is a bond of trust and sharing, so too will the prudish concept of sexuality be re-imagined into an act of nature and bonding, and not a taboo. 

I fully support the concept of the "hall-pass" as it were, where married, committed couples have a set period of time away from each other to explore their sexuality. If you trust someone enough to take vows to stay by them until death, then you should love them enough to realize that human beings need variety and adventure. Sure, it may not be for everyone, but it is extremely liberating. 

The world would be a much better place if people got laid more.
 
2014-02-08 01:27:47 PM
There is really no reason left to get married. Well, except for taxes.
 
2014-02-08 01:28:09 PM
Dear Men,

Stop listening to shiat like this written by some guy who hasn't seen pussy since he crawled out of one.

Look, If you shag your wife on the regular, you will find that she does all the housework and will shut the fark up about it. Women need dick like plants need rain. Don't shag your wife and she will biatch about everything else. But it's really the lack of dick she's pissed about.

She doesn't just need dick. She needs seduction and romance. She needs a sexy smack on the ass now and again and occasionally, a fark just because.

fark your wife. fark her hard, fark her often. It's not that women don't want sex. They just don't want your lazy, tired imitating porn sex that you think she wants. Lick her, spank her, pull her hair. fark the shiat out of her at least every two or three days.

She will do the housework because she'll be happy. You may even get steak.

Now. Ask me how I know?

Remarried and farking happy, that's why. Good dick and a lot of it, makes me a lot less biatchy. Just saying.

It's not feminist. It's not politically correct. It's just farking true.

Go shag your wife.
 
2014-02-08 01:30:01 PM
Fark marriage.

That is all.
 
2014-02-08 01:30:19 PM

namatad: MemeSlave: namatad:

./seriously, why is anyone in a sexless, unhappy marriage these days?

The two adjectives are redundant.

But I repeat myself.

My ex recently asked me if we could get remarried. She promised sex once a month. Which would have been an infinite improvement. I countered with 3 times a day. She stopped emailing me again, thank science.
/never, ever marry a prude, ffs


When a woman thinks of sex as something she permits you to do to her, find a different woman.
 
2014-02-08 01:30:38 PM

Headso: incendi: Prey4reign: They finally unlocked the key to marriage.

How do you unlock a key?

it's keys all the way down


www.mrldavis.com
 
2014-02-08 01:30:59 PM
Ok, so it was written by a chick named Lori. I say if Lori had put the kids to bed early and sucked her husband's dick instead of writing this article, she and every couple on the planet would be a lot better off.

Just saying.
 
2014-02-08 01:30:59 PM
Why do people "get married" ( Bwahahahahaha, oh you're serious, let me laugh harder), in 2014 first world countries?
 
2014-02-08 01:32:25 PM

walktoanarcade: Once a woman stops feeling like she's pursued, she gets bored.


This is such a bullshiat argument.

If a woman plays the "chase me" game, then once you're married, the man's CAUGHT you.  You're hung up on the wall of his den as a trophy.  The game is over.  He stops hunting because he  won.

You could, instead, not make courtship a pursuit game in the first place.

If a woman needs to feel pursued, it's because of deep-seated insecurities.  That's pretty much it.
 
2014-02-08 01:33:05 PM

Witness99: Why do people "get married" ( Bwahahahahaha, oh you're serious, let me laugh harder), in 2014 first world countries?


Income taxes and health insurance coverage.
 
2014-02-08 01:33:26 PM
I posed the same question to Pepper Schwartz, a sociology professor at the University of Washington who coined the term "lesbian bed death," and she pointed out that gay male couples differentiate from each other in other ways, too. For gay men, she said, "the initial filter is erotic, so they're more likely to end up with somebody who's very different in terms of education or social class." But, she continued, "a gay woman thinks like the heterosexual woman who asks: 'Do we share common goals? Do we like to do things together? Is he smart?' " She believes that lesbian and heterosexual couples share sexual challenges because both relationships involve women who tend to seek similar mates. As she put it, most men, regardless of sexual orientation, prioritize the erotic, but "heterosexual men have to deal with heterosexual women."

I have very little commentary on this quote, but it makes me chuckle every time I read it.

(Also, while I like egalitarianism, I can totally see this being a thing. However, I'm suspecting that a lot of people with disagree with the conclusions of this study simply because they view them as sexist or reinforcing of gender roles or something.)
 
2014-02-08 01:33:57 PM

namatad: QU!RK1019: namatad: TL;DR: Married women don't want to have sex with their husbands

TADA
If your wife wont fark you, tell her you are getting sex elsewhere.
If she has a problem with this, divorce her.
TADA


./seriously, why is anyone in a sexless, unhappy marriage these days? the kids? WAY TO fark up your children. "Marriage should be unhappy, just like us!!"

Or, gee, you could suck it up and realize there are things more important in life than getting your rocks off.

HAHAHH HAHAHAH AHHAHAHAH HAHHAHAAH
OR, she could realize that there are more important things than withholding sex from her husband?

step 1) enter into a binding. monogamous relationship
step 2) withhold sex
step 3) wonder why they cheat or divorce you

I wonder how many men would get married if there was a sex clause in their prenuptials.


Look I get that things change over time, but why are they in a monogamous relationship which they refuse to have sex and expect their spouse to do the same?
I get that some people might not care, we are talking about the other 99% of unsexed spouses.

/the number of unhappy. unsexed, married people that I know cracks me up.
/strange, the recently divorced woman that I know is one of the happiest people. she left her sexless marriage and had moved on with her life. She is also one of the most religious people I know. She went with LIFE over setting such a terrible example for her children.
/csb


Did....did you really laugh that loudly? And in that cadence?


/did you startle anyone?
 
2014-02-08 01:36:10 PM
Egalitarian:

Also like to point out, there are so many guys out there who can't stand it when their woman tries to initiate sex ... it has to be completely on the man's schedule and terms. Woman acts horny at anything but the appointed time? OH NOEZ SCARY!!! GET AWAY!

I know, one time a gf at the time woke me up by giving me a blowie in the middle of the night.  I was like, wtf are you doing?!?!?!  Go back to sleep foul succubus!!!!!
 
2014-02-08 01:37:20 PM

Theory Of Null: There is really no reason left to get married. Well, except for taxes.


I had a cousin who had been 'engaged' for several years and finally got married when the couple realized they were missing out on tax savings.  Very romantic.
 
2014-02-08 01:37:56 PM

iheartscotch: This is why ladies night down at the blind pig is a must go. All of those poor, sex deprived wives and only one me....

/ anyone else notice that if you're hanging out with a girl; other girls come to. Like bleached blonde bumble bees to a flower. Like stilettoed sharks, circling a baby dolphin.




I think Mystery covered that in one of his books.
 
2014-02-08 01:40:21 PM
No sex is a legitimate reason for divorce.
 
m00
2014-02-08 01:40:53 PM

QU!RK1019: Withholding sex, huh? Like, "Look I have all this sex but I won't let you have any of it"?


This is a really astute point. Withholding sex presupposes that sex is a "thing" that one can "have" and one partner has it in abundance, and only needs to "share'

Whereas in reality sex is an activity that both partners ought to enjoy, and a man who wants to have more sex in his marriage needs to figure out what he's doing wrong that makes it undesirable for his wife.

NOW... the problem... is I think very often women are unreasonable in this respect. A man can turn himself on, or lets say really focus on sex. It's not like a man would be "oh, I wanted sex but then I started thinking about how the trash needs to be taken out." But I think women often expect men to turn them on, and remove all distractions... and are generally in a position of being more demanding (in terms of "if you want to have sex with me, then you need to do X Y and Z") than they have even 30 or 40 years ago. And it can get very emotionally manipulative.

Ultimately, the answer is a man shouldn't marry a woman who is unreasonable in this respect, and a woman shouldn't marry a man who sees sex has a thing he can have. But then most people would be single.
 
2014-02-08 01:41:30 PM

fozziewazzi: Theory Of Null: There is really no reason left to get married. Well, except for taxes.

I had a cousin who had been 'engaged' for several years and finally got married when the couple realized they were missing out on tax savings.  Very romantic.


Folks also hold off on marriage due to lopsided debts as well.  No one wants to enter into a new level of relationship and realize that the tax savings are overshadowed by the fact they now owe hundreds of thousands of dollars.

Nearly everything that a marriage (in the US) has as 'benefits' can be found through other means with more flexibility that wehn entering into the agreement with the state.  Three persons in every marriage: bridge, groom, state.
 
2014-02-08 01:42:01 PM

Thorak: walktoanarcade: Once a woman stops feeling like she's pursued, she gets bored.

This is such a bullshiat argument.

If a woman plays the "chase me" game, then once you're married, the man's CAUGHT you.  You're hung up on the wall of his den as a trophy.  The game is over.  He stops hunting because he  won.

You could, instead, not make courtship a pursuit game in the first place.

If a woman needs to feel pursued, it's because of deep-seated insecurities.  That's pretty much it.


This is a great first date ice breaker
 
2014-02-08 01:42:30 PM

Egalitarian: This BS again? Plenty of straight men who don't want to have sex with their long-term partner as often as the gal would prefer. Of course, when men start holding out on sex, it's because of their promiscuous biological urges or being tired of the same old vag or some crap. Whereas women who do the same are stereotypical withholding frigid wives. (if a woman gets tired of the same old peen, that's a whole 'nother firestorm).

Also like to point out, there are so many guys out there who can't stand it when their woman tries to initiate sex ... it has to be completely on the man's schedule and terms. Woman acts horny at anything but the appointed time? OH NOEZ SCARY!!! GET AWAY!


But this is the point that Dan Savage makes over and over again.
OF course it is both sides. But there really are no surprised outcomes when one side isnt getting enough, whatever that is defined as.

1) they get it elsewhere
2) they leave
3) they are miserable and write to dan savage hoping that there is a magic cure.

If your partner sucks at sex, talk to them about it. most people are capable of learning and improving.
If they refuse to make the effort, change, talk about it, get help, etc, well, it is time to find a new sex partner.

/strangely enough, why not both? the friend that is wonderful and shares so many things that you both find important and a sex partner. TADA. Why try to solve two problems with one answer? Maybe the perfect answer is two solutions?
 
2014-02-08 01:46:09 PM
FTA: "masculine chores, like ... fixing the car"


Slightly off topic...  I'm an engineer at a large company (about 3000 employees at this site) and I would expect engineers to have the competence to tackle auto repairs.  Nope.  I'm the only man I know who even does his own oil changes.  I've never had my car to a garage for anything other than an inspection, and I'm by no means a master mechanic.  Fixing cars is not particularly difficult if you have the right tools.  My observation is that lots of men are pretty helpless when it comes to fixing the car.

LOL at the people who pay a dealer $75+ for a synthetic oil change.  AutoZone synthetic is $20/jug, and Amazon has Fram filters for $3 when you subscribe-and-save.  Do your own oil changes, and take that $50 you're saving and treat your spouse to a nice dinner.
 
2014-02-08 01:47:05 PM

Mjeck: This is a great first date ice breaker


Silly me, I'd rather date a girl who actually likes me, rather than one who's a neurotic mess who needs constant ego-boosting.
 
2014-02-08 01:48:03 PM

TanHamster: FTA: "masculine chores, like ... fixing the car"


Slightly off topic...  I'm an engineer at a large company (about 3000 employees at this site) and I would expect engineers to have the competence to tackle auto repairs.  Nope.  I'm the only man I know who even does his own oil changes.  I've never had my car to a garage for anything other than an inspection, and I'm by no means a master mechanic.  Fixing cars is not particularly difficult if you have the right tools.  My observation is that lots of men are pretty helpless when it comes to fixing the car.

LOL at the people who pay a dealer $75+ for a synthetic oil change.  AutoZone synthetic is $20/jug, and Amazon has Fram filters for $3 when you subscribe-and-save.  Do your own oil changes, and take that $50 you're saving and treat your spouse to a nice dinner.



I know a few who didn't know that there were things called 'auto parts stores' that 'regular people' could shop in.
 
2014-02-08 01:48:04 PM
FirstNationalBastard:
No, not really. Everything else that's so important is just a way to get laid.

truer words were ne'er spoken
 
2014-02-08 01:48:09 PM

bubbles_nw2003: I'm old, we have a young child, and my sex drive has suffered.  Mu hubby is also free to fnd some elsewhere (as am I).  He does, I haven't.  We are happy.  It's not even that we never have sex. It's just a few times a month instead of a few times a week.  I get he needs more even if I don't.

It doesn't have to be so complicated.


Not until he finds someone heed rather be spending his time with than you and the kid. Cause causal flings are less stress then real relationships.
 
2014-02-08 01:48:22 PM
This is why I don't get married. I just date a girl for a few years, get bored with her and break up with her. Easier than cheating and marriage would just complicate the break-up.
 
2014-02-08 01:49:28 PM

Theory Of Null: There is really no reason left to get married. Well, except for taxes.


I owe far more in taxes every year married filing jointly than I did single. This is because with two incomes, we are in a higher tax bracket.

The tax breaks come when you agree to give creepy Uncle Sam children to use as he sees fit in his nation-building games, I assume.
 
2014-02-08 01:50:47 PM
"I'm very attracted to you," she said earnestly. "You know when I really crave you? It's when you're just back from the gym and you're all sweaty and you take off your clothes to get in the shower and I see your muscles."
Her husband countered by saying that this very situation had occurred that morning but that his wife became irritated when he tossed his clothes on the floor, which led to a conversation about his not vacuuming the day before, when she worked late. He had worked late, too, which accounted for the lack of vacuuming, but still - she hated waking up to a messy room, and it was his turn to vacuum.
"Right," she agreed. "I wasn't focused on sex, because I wanted you to get out the vacuum."
"So if I got out the vacuum, then you'd be turned on?"
His wife thought about it for a minute. "Actually, probably not," she said slowly, as if hearing the contradiction even as she was speaking it. "The vacuuming would have killed the weight-lifting vibe."


The bottom line is that women are not rational, and don't understand themselves.  If you give a woman what she says she wants, she will not be happy.  So, as a man, your job is to give a woman what she really wants, not what she says she wants.
 
2014-02-08 01:52:55 PM

QU!RK1019: Or, gee, you could suck it up and realize there are things more important in life than getting your rocks off.


Or more important things than maintaining a vacuuming schedule.  But whatever.
 
m00
2014-02-08 01:53:07 PM

Thorak: Silly me, I'd rather date a girl who actually likes me, rather than one who's a neurotic mess who needs constant ego-boosting.


So you don't date women?
 
2014-02-08 01:54:05 PM

namatad: TL;DR: Married women don't want to have sex with their husbands

TADA
If your wife wont fark you, tell her you are getting sex elsewhere.
If she has a problem with this, divorce her.
TADA


./seriously, why is anyone in a sexless, unhappy marriage these days? the kids? WAY TO fark up your children. "Marriage should be unhappy, just like us!!"


Sexless != unhappy
 
2014-02-08 01:55:06 PM

DubyaHater: This is why I don't get married. I just date a girl for a few years, get bored with her and break up with her. Easier than cheating and marriage would just complicate the break-up.


Why do you break-up with her? Was there something wrong with her or the relationship?
 
2014-02-08 01:55:18 PM
Granted, some might view a study like this with skepticism. Correlations don't establish causation, and especially when it comes to sex, there's always a risk of reporting bias and selective sampling, not to mention the mood of a subject at the time of the survey.

Funny how nobody says this when the results of a study conform to their preconceptions.
 
2014-02-08 02:00:44 PM

Arthen: namatad: TL;DR: Married women don't want to have sex with their husbands

TADA
If your wife wont fark you, tell her you are getting sex elsewhere.
If she has a problem with this, divorce her.
TADA


./seriously, why is anyone in a sexless, unhappy marriage these days? the kids? WAY TO fark up your children. "Marriage should be unhappy, just like us!!"

Sexless != unhappy


For some
and for others, it is part of pattern which leads to misery.
Your mileage may vary.

Did you also notice, that I used a COMMA?
Sexless, unhappy.
Two parts of the marriage, not casual, possibly causal, certainly part of the definition of many marriages.
Is the marriage unhappy because it is sexless, sexless because it is unhappy?
Doesnt matter.

IF your marriage is sexless AND unhappy, why are you there again? 
So many unhappy people, so little time.
 
2014-02-08 02:01:53 PM

autopsybeverage: Theory Of Null: There is really no reason left to get married. Well, except for taxes.

I owe far more in taxes every year married filing jointly than I did single. This is because with two incomes, we are in a higher tax bracket.

The tax breaks come when you agree to give creepy Uncle Sam children to use as he sees fit in his nation-building games, I assume.


If you are in a higher tax bracket because you are filing MFJ instead of Single, then you make waaaay too much money for me to feel sorry for you. For the other 99%, being married puts you into a lower tax bracket.
 
2014-02-08 02:02:13 PM

2chris2: The bottom line is that women are not rational, and don't understand themselves


Glorious exposition, comrade!
 
2014-02-08 02:03:37 PM

QU!RK1019: namatad: TL;DR: Married women don't want to have sex with their husbands

TADA
If your wife wont fark you, tell her you are getting sex elsewhere.
If she has a problem with this, divorce her.
TADA


./seriously, why is anyone in a sexless, unhappy marriage these days? the kids? WAY TO fark up your children. "Marriage should be unhappy, just like us!!"

Or, gee, you could suck it up and realize there are things more important in life than getting your rocks off.


Wow. I feel sorry for you.
 
2014-02-08 02:03:39 PM
My wife and I just read this (long) article at the same time in the same room. She was a little perturbed to realize that I've been avoiding housework for years but that it could actually be contributing to me getting laid more. She also thinks modern feminists are full of crap, so I may just have one of the good ones.
 
2014-02-08 02:04:06 PM

Thorak: walktoanarcade: Once a woman stops feeling like she's pursued, she gets bored.

This is such a bullshiat argument.

If a woman plays the "chase me" game, then once you're married, the man's CAUGHT you.  You're hung up on the wall of his den as a trophy.  The game is over.  He stops hunting because he  won.

You could, instead, not make courtship a pursuit game in the first place.

If a woman needs to feel pursued, it's because of deep-seated insecurities.  That's pretty much it.


Life's a game and you certainly can win or lose, I say.

Also, I strongly feel that too many women are as you describe in your bone throw to me, which is why dating isn't easier.
 
2014-02-08 02:05:30 PM
I'm a female who is engaged. All these comments are freaking me out a bit. The very few times I've turned him down are when he wakes me up for a morning quickie, although I usually don't mind. And if I wake him up at night....he's always willing. We work a lot. Lack of time is our issue.
 
2014-02-08 02:05:30 PM
I've said it before: what women say they want and what women actually want are two completely different things.
 
2014-02-08 02:07:33 PM

sn82: DubyaHater: This is why I don't get married. I just date a girl for a few years, get bored with her and break up with her. Easier than cheating and marriage would just complicate the break-up.

Why do you break-up with her? Was there something wrong with her or the relationship?


he said he dates boring chicks and gets tired of them.
 
2014-02-08 02:08:57 PM

jxb465: autopsybeverage: Theory Of Null: There is really no reason left to get married. Well, except for taxes.

I owe far more in taxes every year married filing jointly than I did single. This is because with two incomes, we are in a higher tax bracket.

The tax breaks come when you agree to give creepy Uncle Sam children to use as he sees fit in his nation-building games, I assume.

If you are in a higher tax bracket because you are filing MFJ instead of Single, then you make waaaay too much money for me to feel sorry for you. For the other 99%, being married puts you into a lower tax bracket.


Lol, wasn't asking for pity, just presenting a counter to the "woohoo taxes" argument. Which, if both partners have incomes, may (or may not, I guess) be utter bullshiat.

Consult your accountant prior to marriage, though, if that's your sole reason for jumping in. Depending on your accountant, I guess it can even be sexy.
 
2014-02-08 02:09:37 PM

LeroyBourne: Egalitarian:

Also like to point out, there are so many guys out there who can't stand it when their woman tries to initiate sex ... it has to be completely on the man's schedule and terms. Woman acts horny at anything but the appointed time? OH NOEZ SCARY!!! GET AWAY!

I know, one time a gf at the time woke me up by giving me a blowie in the middle of the night.  I was like, wtf are you doing?!?!?!  Go back to sleep foul succubus!!!!!


I really hate it when that happens.
 
2014-02-08 02:10:43 PM

Hermione_Granger: Dear Men,

Stop listening to shiat like this written by some guy who hasn't seen pussy since he crawled out of one.

Look, If you shag your wife on the regular, you will find that she does all the housework and will shut the fark up about it. Women need dick like plants need rain. Don't shag your wife and she will biatch about everything else. But it's really the lack of dick she's pissed about.

She doesn't just need dick. She needs seduction and romance. She needs a sexy smack on the ass now and again and occasionally, a fark just because.

fark your wife. fark her hard, fark her often. It's not that women don't want sex. They just don't want your lazy, tired imitating porn sex that you think she wants. Lick her, spank her, pull her hair. fark the shiat out of her at least every two or three days.

She will do the housework because she'll be happy. You may even get steak.

Now. Ask me how I know?

Remarried and farking happy, that's why. Good dick and a lot of it, makes me a lot less biatchy. Just saying.

It's not feminist. It's not politically correct. It's just farking true.

Go shag your wife.


Yeah baby....shag.
 
2014-02-08 02:11:28 PM
On the other hand, never find a woman who has a higher libido than yours, and puts you in the position of gatekeeper to sex. Women have less problems finding people willing to help them in adultery than men do.
 
2014-02-08 02:12:39 PM

Headso: sn82: DubyaHater: This is why I don't get married. I just date a girl for a few years, get bored with her and break up with her. Easier than cheating and marriage would just complicate the break-up.

Why do you break-up with her? Was there something wrong with her or the relationship?

he said he dates boring chicks and gets tired of them.


Shhhh, I was testing him.
 
2014-02-08 02:13:55 PM

Egalitarian: This BS again? Plenty of straight men who don't want to have sex with their long-term partner as often as the gal would prefer. Of course, when men start holding out on sex, it's because of their promiscuous biological urges or being tired of the same old vag or some crap. Whereas women who do the same are stereotypical withholding frigid wives. (if a woman gets tired of the same old peen, that's a whole 'nother firestorm).

Also like to point out, there are so many guys out there who can't stand it when their woman tries to initiate sex ... it has to be completely on the man's schedule and terms. Woman acts horny at anything but the appointed time? OH NOEZ SCARY!!! GET AWAY!


No.  My issue is when the wife wants sex, she immediately expects it to perk up at the prospect no matter my mood, and then complains until I finally jerk myself off to get ready and more or less half-ass it.

It's called putting some effort in ladies.  If I'm supposed to spend ten minutes revving your engine you can spend a little time when I'm not in the mood.
 
2014-02-08 02:14:03 PM
FTA:  It found that when men did certain kinds of chores around the house, couples had less sex. [ ] The more traditional the division of labor, meaning the greater the husband's share of masculine chores compared with feminine ones, the greater his wife's reported sexual satisfaction.

Wife:  Will you please turn off the game and help fold the laundry?

Husband:  I am sorry, but I am going to have to refuse to help with the "women's work."  And, it's not because I am lazy.  I am refusing only to ensure you experience greater sexual satisfaction when we have sex.  Sure you are mad now, but you will thank me... later tonight.
 
2014-02-08 02:14:46 PM
Well hurry up......this dick isn't gonna suck itself :0 (========
 
2014-02-08 02:14:53 PM

autopsybeverage: Consult your accountant prior to marriage, though, if that's your sole reason for jumping in. Depending on your accountant, I guess it can even be sexy.


My accountant is damn fine. She might not even be 30, wears inappropriate heels and short dresses. I don't know that my wife would be thrilled if I "consulted" her, unfortunately.
 
2014-02-08 02:15:09 PM
Their "share" of housework?  My experience is that a good deal of housework is "make work" projects.  There's nothing more a woman can't stand is watching a man relax.
 
2014-02-08 02:15:32 PM

QU!RK1019: namatad: TL;DR: Married women don't want to have sex with their husbands

TADA
If your wife wont fark you, tell her you are getting sex elsewhere.
If she has a problem with this, divorce her.
TADA


./seriously, why is anyone in a sexless, unhappy marriage these days? the kids? WAY TO fark up your children. "Marriage should be unhappy, just like us!!"

Or, gee, you could suck it up and realize there are things more important in life than getting your rocks off.


Posted from the highest porn-consuming state in the union.
 
2014-02-08 02:16:03 PM

ramblinwreck: Their "share" of housework?  My experience is that a good deal of housework is "make work" projects.  There's nothing more a woman can't stand is watching a man relax.


Plainly, you have no appreciation for the male form at work.
 
2014-02-08 02:17:45 PM

Egalitarian: Also like to point out, there are so many guys out there who can't stand it when their woman tries to initiate sex ... it has to be completely on the man's schedule and terms. Woman acts horny at anything but the appointed time? OH NOEZ SCARY!!! GET AWAY!


img.fark.net
 
2014-02-08 02:18:12 PM

Hermione_Granger: Dear Men,

Stop listening to shiat like this written by some guy who hasn't seen pussy since he crawled out of one.

Look, If you shag your wife on the regular, you will find that she does all the housework and will shut the fark up about it. Women need dick like plants need rain. Don't shag your wife and she will biatch about everything else. But it's really the lack of dick she's pissed about.

She doesn't just need dick. She needs seduction and romance. She needs a sexy smack on the ass now and again and occasionally, a fark just because.

fark your wife. fark her hard, fark her often. It's not that women don't want sex. They just don't want your lazy, tired imitating porn sex that you think she wants. Lick her, spank her, pull her hair. fark the shiat out of her at least every two or three days.

She will do the housework because she'll be happy. You may even get steak.

Now. Ask me how I know?

Remarried and farking happy, that's why. Good dick and a lot of it, makes me a lot less biatchy. Just saying.

It's not feminist. It's not politically correct. It's just farking true.

Go shag your wife.


Not true. Some women -- and men -- really don't care for sex much at all, usually due to (a) tangentially related psychological or self-esteem related issue(s).

And those sorry farks can have each other.
 
2014-02-08 02:18:30 PM

Hermione_Granger: Dear Men,

Stop listening to shiat like this written by some guy who hasn't seen pussy since he crawled out of one.

Look, If you shag your wife on the regular, you will find that she does all the housework and will shut the fark up about it. Women need dick like plants need rain. Don't shag your wife and she will biatch about everything else. But it's really the lack of dick she's pissed about.

She doesn't just need dick. She needs seduction and romance. She needs a sexy smack on the ass now and again and occasionally, a fark just because.

fark your wife. fark her hard, fark her often. It's not that women don't want sex. They just don't want your lazy, tired imitating porn sex that you think she wants. Lick her, spank her, pull her hair. fark the shiat out of her at least every two or three days.

She will do the housework because she'll be happy. You may even get steak.

Now. Ask me how I know?

Remarried and farking happy, that's why. Good dick and a lot of it, makes me a lot less biatchy. Just saying.

It's not feminist. It's not politically correct. It's just farking true.

Go shag your wife.


I would like to subscribe to your weekly newsletter.
 
2014-02-08 02:18:47 PM

Hermione_Granger: Dear Men,

Stop listening to shiat like this written by some guy who hasn't seen pussy since he crawled out of one.

Look, If you shag your wife on the regular, you will find that she does all the housework and will shut the fark up about it. Women need dick like plants need rain. Don't shag your wife and she will biatch about everything else. But it's really the lack of dick she's pissed about.

She doesn't just need dick. She needs seduction and romance. She needs a sexy smack on the ass now and again and occasionally, a fark just because.

fark your wife. fark her hard, fark her often. It's not that women don't want sex. They just don't want your lazy, tired imitating porn sex that you think she wants. Lick her, spank her, pull her hair. fark the shiat out of her at least every two or three days.

She will do the housework because she'll be happy. You may even get steak.

Now. Ask me how I know?

Remarried and farking happy, that's why. Good dick and a lot of it, makes me a lot less biatchy. Just saying.

It's not feminist. It's not politically correct. It's just farking true.

Go shag your wife.


Smart and Funny in one post. How you do that?
 
2014-02-08 02:19:08 PM

Peepeye: I'm a female who is engaged. All these comments are freaking me out a bit. The very few times I've turned him down are when he wakes me up for a morning quickie, although I usually don't mind. And if I wake him up at night....he's always willing. We work a lot. Lack of time is our issue.


Unless your life strongly resembles a Fark thread, I wouldn't worry about it too much.

/congrats, best wishes, etc.
 
2014-02-08 02:19:40 PM

Thorak: walktoanarcade: Once a woman stops feeling like she's pursued, she gets bored.

This is such a bullshiat argument.

If a woman plays the "chase me" game, then once you're married, the man's CAUGHT you.  You're hung up on the wall of his den as a trophy.  The game is over.  He stops hunting because he  won.

You could, instead, not make courtship a pursuit game in the first place.

If a woman needs to feel pursued, it's because of deep-seated insecurities.  That's pretty much it.


You haven't shagged a woman in a really long time have you?
 
2014-02-08 02:20:10 PM

Hermione_Granger: fark your wife. fark her hard,


Sometimes you gotta fark her gently.
NSFW language.
 
2014-02-08 02:21:40 PM
As someone who just got out of a 6 yr sexless relationship, im getting a kick.....

Nothing sexier than a girlfriend that will only bang you once a month(or less) because she feels like shes obligated to. Broke up because I wouldn't marry her. I countered with we already don't have sex and barely like each other, why get the govt involved.

That being said, we were both lousy to ,and for, each other. We were just too stupid and stuck in a routine to see it.
 
2014-02-08 02:22:14 PM

Peepeye: I'm a female who is engaged. All these comments are freaking me out a bit. The very few times I've turned him down are when he wakes me up for a morning quickie, although I usually don't mind. And if I wake him up at night....he's always willing. We work a lot. Lack of time is our issue.


Sounds like lack of time is your issue, not his. Good luck... you'll need it.
 
2014-02-08 02:22:33 PM

sn82: Headso: sn82: DubyaHater: This is why I don't get married. I just date a girl for a few years, get bored with her and break up with her. Easier than cheating and marriage would just complicate the break-up.

Why do you break-up with her? Was there something wrong with her or the relationship?

he said he dates boring chicks and gets tired of them.

Shhhh, I was testing him.


So, why are you shaming this guy?  Is it the fact that he won't get married?  Because marriage is SUCH a good deal for men if it ends in divorce - in which 70% of divorces are filed by women and it jumps to 90% of divorces are initiated by the woman if she's a college graduate.
 
2014-02-08 02:22:46 PM

namatad: TL;DR: Married women don't want to have sex with their husbands

TADA
If your wife wont fark you, tell her you are getting sex elsewhere.
If she has a problem with this, divorce her.
TADA


./seriously, why is anyone in a sexless, unhappy marriage these days? the kids? WAY TO fark up your children. "Marriage should be unhappy, just like us!!"


Because of teh gheys, of course.

Sex should ONLY be for joyless procreation according to the fundamental folks.

Except if you're cheating.
Or banging the hot secretary.
Or at the No-Tell Motel.
Or at the airport bathroom stall.
Or the local adult theater..
Or if the altar boy is REALLY cute.

But, NEVER for your own sick, twisted, dirty pleasures or for your partner's sake either!!'

/Yup, it's retarded
//Had women friends who bragged about cutting off sex at marriage
///Poor bastards still married them
 
2014-02-08 02:25:09 PM

Occam's Disposable Razor: autopsybeverage: Consult your accountant prior to marriage, though, if that's your sole reason for jumping in. Depending on your accountant, I guess it can even be sexy.

My accountant is damn fine. She might not even be 30, wears inappropriate heels and short dresses. I don't know that my wife would be thrilled if I "consulted" her, unfortunately.


Depends on the sex life at home.

Nobody should ever feel entitled to get pissy when a person cheats at a game of solitaire. Ever.

Do you feel like sending some business your accountant's way? I'm looking for a new tax professional...
 
2014-02-08 02:25:19 PM

Bane of Broone: Wow. I feel sorry for you.


It took a while, but I knew there would be a response like this coming.

Here's the thing.  My wife and I have sex about once a week.  Not often enough for me, more often than she would prefer.  But I am madly in love with her, still after 10 years of marriage, I adore my children, and I love my life.  There's no way in hell I'm walking away from all that just so I can get more pussy.  Frequency of sex pales in comparison to everything else.
 
2014-02-08 02:26:16 PM

Peepeye: I'm a female who is engaged. All these comments are freaking me out a bit. The very few times I've turned him down are when he wakes me up for a morning quickie, although I usually don't mind. And if I wake him up at night....he's always willing. We work a lot. Lack of time is our issue.


Happily married man of 5 years and having sex at least twice a week, even with a newborn.  (After the healing process, of course)

We just make it a point to stay frisky.   Lots of compliments, innuendo, the occasional grope on the flyby, just to remind each other that we find them other sexy.

About once a month one or the other of us "plans" a sexy night with added romance and foreplay.   The rest of the time we just sort of pounce each other.

We do make sure to take into account how the other is feeling before initiating it, but I love when my wife starts it all.  Sexy as hell.

She keeps some nice lingerie and heels around, I've got some silk boxers she likes on me, it's not THAT difficult.

If you find them attractive, you should want to have sex with them, and you should tell them that often.

If you don't want to have sex with them, there's a problem.

I think one key is be able to forget all that other crap for a while, and just concentrate on having sex with the person you love and desire.   Leave work, and in-laws, and bills, and all that other junk at the bedroom door.
 
2014-02-08 02:29:49 PM

baconbeard: Peepeye: I'm a female who is engaged. All these comments are freaking me out a bit. The very few times I've turned him down are when he wakes me up for a morning quickie, although I usually don't mind. And if I wake him up at night....he's always willing. We work a lot. Lack of time is our issue.

Sounds like lack of time is your issue, not his. Good luck... you'll need it.


Being woken up after 4 hrs of sleep for a quickie is different than waking up at the same time to go to work. If he shot me down for the same reason I would understand. Nice try though.
 
2014-02-08 02:30:06 PM

shtychkn: bubbles_nw2003: I'm old, we have a young child, and my sex drive has suffered.  Mu hubby is also free to fnd some elsewhere (as am I).  He does, I haven't.  We are happy.  It's not even that we never have sex. It's just a few times a month instead of a few times a week.  I get he needs more even if I don't.

It doesn't have to be so complicated.

Not until he finds someone heed rather be spending his time with than you and the kid. Cause causal flings are less stress then real relationships.


That could happen in any relationship and is probably more likely if the on the side has to be covert.  If that happens, we will work it out or move on.  He is a dedicated partner and father at this point but nothing is guaranteed in any relationship.
 
2014-02-08 02:30:15 PM

Terminal Accessory: Happily married man of 5 years and having sex at least twice a week, even with a newborn.


You sick, sick bastard.
 
2014-02-08 02:32:59 PM
my wife has figured this out she has us living on a bunch of acreage so there's always wood to be cut and split, fences to be fixed, trails to be maintained... she has me doing chores but they are not effeminate.
 
2014-02-08 02:33:07 PM

ten foiled hats: Peepeye: I'm a female who is engaged. All these comments are freaking me out a bit. The very few times I've turned him down are when he wakes me up for a morning quickie, although I usually don't mind. And if I wake him up at night....he's always willing. We work a lot. Lack of time is our issue.

Unless your life strongly resembles a Fark thread, I wouldn't worry about it too much.

/congrats, best wishes, etc.


Thanks! Fortunately my life does not resemble a Fark thread yet.
 
2014-02-08 02:33:19 PM

baconbeard: Egalitarian: Also like to point out, there are so many guys out there who can't stand it when their woman tries to initiate sex ... it has to be completely on the man's schedule and terms. Woman acts horny at anything but the appointed time? OH NOEZ SCARY!!! GET AWAY!

[img.fark.net image 215x159]


Sadly can be true. I'm in a relationship like that currently. Everything has to be on his schedule and based on his mood, meanwhile I'm horny as hell with no outlet. I still try my best to try to initiate despite the fact though. He's damn lucky that I'm so loyal, to say the least.
 
2014-02-08 02:35:19 PM

doyner: Or more important things than maintaining a vacuuming schedule.  But whatever.


No, you're right.  The lower-libido partner has to be willing to compromise as the higher-libido one.  I wasn't meaning to suggest that you gotta stay and suffer.  I'm saying you gotta stay and work it out.
 
2014-02-08 02:39:11 PM

Terminal Accessory: Peepeye: I'm a female who is engaged. All these comments are freaking me out a bit. The very few times I've turned him down are when he wakes me up for a morning quickie, although I usually don't mind. And if I wake him up at night....he's always willing. We work a lot. Lack of time is our issue.

Happily married man of 5 years and having sex at least twice a week, even with a newborn.  (After the healing process, of course)

We just make it a point to stay frisky.   Lots of compliments, innuendo, the occasional grope on the flyby, just to remind each other that we find them other sexy.

About once a month one or the other of us "plans" a sexy night with added romance and foreplay.   The rest of the time we just sort of pounce each other.

We do make sure to take into account how the other is feeling before initiating it, but I love when my wife starts it all.  Sexy as hell.

She keeps some nice lingerie and heels around, I've got some silk boxers she likes on me, it's not THAT difficult.

If you find them attractive, you should want to have sex with them, and you should tell them that often.

If you don't want to have sex with them, there's a problem.

I think one key is be able to forget all that other crap for a while, and just concentrate on having sex with the person you love and desire.   Leave work, and in-laws, and bills, and all that other junk at the bedroom door.


Sounds like you have a great marriage. Congrats on the newborn.

I'm not too worried. We are very affectionate. We have plenty of sex. I just said the few times I have turned him down was when I was in the middle of a deep sleep. I'm not in the habit of turning him down. I hope a baby doesn't change things....as we plan to start trying next year. The act of trying will be fun as hell though.
 
2014-02-08 02:40:35 PM

Ionessa: baconbeard: Egalitarian: Also like to point out, there are so many guys out there who can't stand it when their woman tries to initiate sex ... it has to be completely on the man's schedule and terms. Woman acts horny at anything but the appointed time? OH NOEZ SCARY!!! GET AWAY!

[img.fark.net image 215x159]

Sadly can be true. I'm in a relationship like that currently. Everything has to be on his schedule and based on his mood, meanwhile I'm horny as hell with no outlet. I still try my best to try to initiate despite the fact though. He's damn lucky that I'm so loyal, to say the least.


I am sure lots of farkers would be happy to help you out with that..
 
2014-02-08 02:41:55 PM

Ionessa: baconbeard: Egalitarian: Also like to point out, there are so many guys out there who can't stand it when their woman tries to initiate sex ... it has to be completely on the man's schedule and terms. Woman acts horny at anything but the appointed time? OH NOEZ SCARY!!! GET AWAY!

[img.fark.net image 215x159]

Sadly can be true. I'm in a relationship like that currently. Everything has to be on his schedule and based on his mood, meanwhile I'm horny as hell with no outlet. I still try my best to try to initiate despite the fact though. He's damn lucky that I'm so loyal, to say the least.


I really hope you two can fix that shiat if you plan on marrying this guy.  I know from experience that if a woman with a high libido isn't getting it at home will find it else where.
/goooood luck
 
2014-02-08 02:42:42 PM

SearchN: Ionessa: baconbeard: Egalitarian: Also like to point out, there are so many guys out there who can't stand it when their woman tries to initiate sex ... it has to be completely on the man's schedule and terms. Woman acts horny at anything but the appointed time? OH NOEZ SCARY!!! GET AWAY!

[img.fark.net image 215x159]

Sadly can be true. I'm in a relationship like that currently. Everything has to be on his schedule and based on his mood, meanwhile I'm horny as hell with no outlet. I still try my best to try to initiate despite the fact though. He's damn lucky that I'm so loyal, to say the least.

I am sure lots of farkers would be happy to help you out with that..


that fruit was so low you could win the limbo Olympics if you could get under it.
 
2014-02-08 02:43:03 PM
I could go into the cycle of pheromones, tolerance, and all the other stuff here. In the end, what I read was that women, married or not, desire a man who is giving off that 'manly' aura. It's not whether or not he helps around the house, it's if he is 'manly' at the end of the day. Just like men where feminine women inspire the libido. It goes both ways.
The hard part is that once you get married, and you cohabitate in close quarters, you have to battle building up a tolerance to each other's 'scent', and still keep the masculine/feminine aura present while still working together.

In the end, I think of the stories of women who forced themselves into having sex with their husbands on a regular schedule who noted they become more responsive, more aware of their own health, contributions around the house, and her needs. I also think of the two hour lecture I received on pheromones and how diet and exercise can make them stronger and more effective in the first 24 hours after workouts to stimulate your partners (not necessarily weight, just getting into that 'pleasing' pheromone range from the 'rancid' ones or 'faint' ones. And I think of all the friends and family who have noted similar. In the end, men who have moments of masculinity and women who have moments of femininity continue to spark desire for each other, and that is key.
 
2014-02-08 02:43:26 PM

namatad: "There are always going to be trade-offs."

"Sex in any marriage is idiosyncratic and complex "


But dont try to tell me that one partner should be miserable and sexless because the other partner quit having sex.  Unless sex wasnt part of your marriage in the first place. Why did you get married again?
Religion? Kids? Dont kids require sex??



There are three rings in life:

1. The engagement ring
2. The wedding ring
3. The suffering
 
2014-02-08 02:43:33 PM

m00: QU!RK1019: Withholding sex, huh? Like, "Look I have all this sex but I won't let you have any of it"?

This is a really astute point. Withholding sex presupposes that sex is a "thing" that one can "have" and one partner has it in abundance, and only needs to "share'

Whereas in reality sex is an activity that both partners ought to enjoy, and a man who wants to have more sex in his marriage needs to figure out what he's doing wrong that makes it undesirable for his wife.

NOW... the problem... is I think very often women are unreasonable in this respect. A man can turn himself on, or lets say really focus on sex. It's not like a man would be "oh, I wanted sex but then I started thinking about how the trash needs to be taken out." But I think women often expect men to turn them on, and remove all distractions... and are generally in a position of being more demanding (in terms of "if you want to have sex with me, then you need to do X Y and Z") than they have even 30 or 40 years ago. And it can get very emotionally manipulative.

Ultimately, the answer is a man shouldn't marry a woman who is unreasonable in this respect, and a woman shouldn't marry a man who sees sex has a thing he can have. But then most people would be single.


Actually, that kind of thinking isn't always helpful.  It can actually hurt both partners to think that there's something wrong with what they're doing.  I've heard from many people - men and women - who still think their partner is the sexiest person they know, but they just don't get aroused as often as they used to.  It's hard for them to convince their partner that they still love and desire them.  Conversely, it can be very depressing to think that you're doing something wrong and not attracting your spouse any more.

In some cases it is the truth.  But in many others, both partners need to learn to accept that it's far more complex than that.
 
2014-02-08 02:45:07 PM

Candygram4Mongo: Married women don't want to have sex with their own husbands.

FTFY


THIS
 
2014-02-08 02:45:14 PM
QU!RK1019:

Here's the thing.  My wife and I have sex about once a week.  Not often enough for me, more often than she would prefer.  But I am madly in love with her, still after 10 years of marriage, I adore my children, and I love my life.  There's no way in hell I'm walking away from all that just so I can get more pussy.   Frequency of sex pales in comparison to everything else.

If you really believed that, you would have sex less often, however seldom she would prefer.

Instead you beg for it and she appeases you. You might be fine with that arrangement, and she might be too, but don't pretend that your mediocre version of fulfillment is the ideal for all humanity or this brave moral stance you're taking. It's not a very big priority for you. We don't all have the same priorities, and we don't all have the same reasons for them. Learn this and a whole new world will open up to you.
 
2014-02-08 02:45:37 PM

Peepeye: I'm a female who is engaged. All these comments are freaking me out a bit. The very few times I've turned him down are when he wakes me up for a morning quickie, although I usually don't mind. And if I wake him up at night....he's always willing. We work a lot. Lack of time is our issue.


Nothing wrong with turning down a quickie, just don't turn down every quickie.
I've turned down one, she was trying to throw me a bone for flaking on a "date nite" because she lost track of time.
Two can play that game, as long as it's not a zero sum game.

/married 16 yrs
//still boinking
 
2014-02-08 02:45:51 PM
"My friends" are in "their" 16th year of marriage & 18th year together.

Do "they" have sex as often as "they" could/should? Nope, not by a long shot. Never have, probably never will.

Is that a problem? "He" certainly thinks so - then again, "he's" not the one with self esteem issues that directly affect sexuality. Is it a point of contention in "their" relationship? Yup, on an almost daily basis. But "they" are not miserable. It's simply a question of who/what "they" could be if things were just a little different.

Separation is not an option. "He's" not willing to give up seeing "their" children on a daily basis, or to give up half "his" pension and income over a hurdle that will never be overcome.

There'll be none of this open relationship nonsense, either - fidelity is directly tied to "her" self esteem issues. It is what it is.

"They" are not the only ones "they" know who are in this situation - the idea that separation would be worse than sticking together. It's that way by design, and some decisions can't be un-made in the here and now. Daydreaming of what could be is better than the reality of what really happens in a modern divorce with children and assets.
 
2014-02-08 02:46:44 PM

QU!RK1019: namatad: HAHAHH HAHAHAH AHHAHAHAH HAHHAHAAH
OR, she could realize that there are more important things than withholding sex from her husband?

step 1) enter into a binding. monogamous relationship
step 2) withhold sex
step 3) wonder why they cheat or divorce you

I wonder how many men would get married if there was a sex clause in their prenuptials.


Look I get that things change over time, but why are they in a monogamous relationship which they refuse to have sex and expect their spouse to do the same?
I get that some people might not care, we are talking about the other 99% of unsexed spouses.

/the number of unhappy. unsexed, married people that I know cracks me up.
/strange, the recently divorced woman that I know is one of the happiest people. she left her sexless marriage and had moved on with her life. She is also one of the most religious people I know. She went with LIFE over setting such a terrible example for her children.
/csb

Withholding sex, huh?  Like, "Look I have all this sex but I won't let you have any of it"?  Do you know how many women would save their marriages if it was just as simple as "stop withholding"?  Probably not.  Since the idea that anything could be more important than sexual compatibility made you type out "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA," I'm just going to have to assume you are about as sexually mature as a middle schooler.


You;re either trolling or stupid, which is it?

Or do you support being in uncommunicative marriages, too?
 
2014-02-08 02:47:00 PM

Peepeye: I'm a female who is engaged. All these comments are freaking me out a bit. The very few times I've turned him down are when he wakes me up for a morning quickie, although I usually don't mind. And if I wake him up at night....he's always willing. We work a lot. Lack of time is our issue.


USE YOUR WORDS
It is all about words.
Expectations. Etc.

As long as you talk about this shiat long before it comes a problem, it wont become a problem.

"NO HONEY. I am tired, need to get going for work, blah blah blah. Go jerk off and we will fark like crazy later tonight!"  or whatever

Or you can do what millions other people do. Push him away, get pissed, push him away some more, complain to your girlfriends instead of talking to him, and enter the relationship death spiral.

I wonder how many people actually talk about these things before getting married.
More afraid to share the truth, find out that one of them is unhappy with the current level of things.
 
2014-02-08 02:48:16 PM

Peepeye: baconbeard: Peepeye: I'm a female who is engaged. All these comments are freaking me out a bit. The very few times I've turned him down are when he wakes me up for a morning quickie, although I usually don't mind. And if I wake him up at night....he's always willing. We work a lot. Lack of time is our issue.

Sounds like lack of time is your issue, not his. Good luck... you'll need it.

Being woken up after 4 hrs of sleep for a quickie is different than waking up at the same time to go to work. If he shot me down for the same reason I would understand. Nice try though.


But that's the point. He wouldn't turn it down.
 
2014-02-08 02:48:37 PM

overthinker: In the end, what I read was that women, married or not, desire a man who is giving off that 'manly' aura.


You mean like, walking up to her and farting in her face? That's never really worked all that well for me.
 
2014-02-08 02:51:49 PM

Terminal Accessory: Peepeye: I'm a female who is engaged. All these comments are freaking me out a bit. The very few times I've turned him down are when he wakes me up for a morning quickie, although I usually don't mind. And if I wake him up at night....he's always willing. We work a lot. Lack of time is our issue.

Happily married man of 5 years and having sex at least twice a week, even with a newborn.  (After the healing process, of course)

We just make it a point to stay frisky.   Lots of compliments, innuendo, the occasional grope on the flyby, just to remind each other that we find them other sexy.

About once a month one or the other of us "plans" a sexy night with added romance and foreplay.   The rest of the time we just sort of pounce each other.

We do make sure to take into account how the other is feeling before initiating it, but I love when my wife starts it all.  Sexy as hell.

She keeps some nice lingerie and heels around, I've got some silk boxers she likes on me, it's not THAT difficult.

If you find them attractive, you should want to have sex with them, and you should tell them that often.

If you don't want to have sex with them, there's a problem.

I think one key is be able to forget all that other crap for a while, and just concentrate on having sex with the person you love and desire.   Leave work, and in-laws, and bills, and all that other junk at the bedroom door.



This bears repeating:  Leave work, and in-laws, and bills, and all that other junk at the bedroom door.
 
2014-02-08 02:52:41 PM

houstondragon: //Had women friends who bragged about cutting off sex at marriage
///Poor bastards still married them


this shiat cracks me up
the cutting them off
the no more blow jobs
the once a month or vacation only sex

talk about false expectations being set before marriage
 
2014-02-08 02:52:52 PM
Feh.  I have never had that problem.  My wife won't leave my penis alone.  Our sexual relationship is more like that of Al and Peg Bundy.
 
2014-02-08 02:56:10 PM

quo vadimus: If you really believed that, you would have sex less often, however seldom she would prefer.

Instead you beg for it and she appeases you. You might be fine with that arrangement, and she might be too, but don't pretend that your mediocre version of fulfillment is the ideal for all humanity or this brave moral stance you're taking. It's not a very big priority for you. We don't all have the same priorities, and we don't all have the same reasons for them. Learn this and a whole new world will open up to you.


No, it's not an all or nothing predicament.  I like Thai food, she doesn't care for it.  Is that important enough to divorce her over?  Conversely, should we never go to a Thai restaurant ever again?  Or... sheesh, maybe we could try to compromise.

What a farking concept.

Besides, you're farking weird with the "you beg for it and she appeases you"assumption.
 
2014-02-08 02:58:27 PM

autopsybeverage: Theory Of Null: There is really no reason left to get married. Well, except for taxes.

I owe far more in taxes every year married filing jointly than I did single. This is because with two incomes, we are in a higher tax bracket.

The tax breaks come when you agree to give creepy Uncle Sam children to use as he sees fit in his nation-building games, I assume.


Yes, we have the same problem - married filing jointly farks us, quite frankly.  Also, with our combined incomes we don't qualify for the earned income tax credit so that kid we had was a waste of time as well. :\

/Just kidding about the kid, our daughter is awesome!
//we still get to write off the daycare costs, w00t!
///I hope to God she doesn't join the military,.. maybe the war in Afghanistan will be over in 9 years, though! >.<
 
2014-02-08 03:00:55 PM

Ionessa: baconbeard: Egalitarian: Also like to point out, there are so many guys out there who can't stand it when their woman tries to initiate sex ... it has to be completely on the man's schedule and terms. Woman acts horny at anything but the appointed time? OH NOEZ SCARY!!! GET AWAY!

[img.fark.net image 215x159]

Sadly can be true. I'm in a relationship like that currently. Everything has to be on his schedule and based on his mood, meanwhile I'm horny as hell with no outlet. I still try my best to try to initiate despite the fact though. He's damn lucky that I'm so loyal, to say the least.


That sound you're hearing is millions of farkers clicking on your profile.
 
2014-02-08 03:03:48 PM

Hermione_Granger: Dear Men,

Stop listening to shiat like this written by some guy who hasn't seen pussy since he crawled out of one.

Look, If you shag your wife on the regular, you will find that she does all the housework and will shut the fark up about it. Women need dick like plants need rain. Don't shag your wife and she will biatch about everything else. But it's really the lack of dick she's pissed about.

She doesn't just need dick. She needs seduction and romance. She needs a sexy smack on the ass now and again and occasionally, a fark just because.

fark your wife. fark her hard, fark her often. It's not that women don't want sex. They just don't want your lazy, tired imitating porn sex that you think she wants. Lick her, spank her, pull her hair. fark the shiat out of her at least every two or three days.

She will do the housework because she'll be happy. You may even get steak.

Now. Ask me how I know?

Remarried and farking happy, that's why. Good dick and a lot of it, makes me a lot less biatchy. Just saying.

It's not feminist. It's not politically correct. It's just farking true.

Go shag your wife.


You shouldn't have married Ron in the first place.
 
2014-02-08 03:03:53 PM
ITT everyone is wrong about everything ever.
 
2014-02-08 03:04:31 PM

Carousel Beast: You;re either trolling or stupid, which is it?

Or do you support being in uncommunicative marriages, too?


Well, I'm fantastically intelligent, so I guess I must be trolling.  I don't know where you're getting that, but ok.
 
2014-02-08 03:05:08 PM

Egalitarian: This BS again? Plenty of straight men who don't want to have sex with their long-term partner as often as the gal would prefer. Of course, when men start holding out on sex, it's because of their promiscuous biological urges or being tired of the same old vag or some crap. Whereas women who do the same are stereotypical withholding frigid wives. (if a woman gets tired of the same old peen, that's a whole 'nother firestorm).

Also like to point out, there are so many guys out there who can't stand it when their woman tries to initiate sex ... it has to be completely on the man's schedule and terms. Woman acts horny at anything but the appointed time? OH NOEZ SCARY!!! GET AWAY!


That is like the ultimate turnon for me, though
 
2014-02-08 03:05:11 PM

namatad: Peepeye: I'm a female who is engaged. All these comments are freaking me out a bit. The very few times I've turned him down are when he wakes me up for a morning quickie, although I usually don't mind. And if I wake him up at night....he's always willing. We work a lot. Lack of time is our issue.

USE YOUR WORDS
It is all about words.
Expectations. Etc.

As long as you talk about this shiat long before it comes a problem, it wont become a problem.

"NO HONEY. I am tired, need to get going for work, blah blah blah. Go jerk off and we will fark like crazy later tonight!"  or whatever

Or you can do what millions other people do. Push him away, get pissed, push him away some more, complain to your girlfriends instead of talking to him, and enter the relationship death spiral.

I wonder how many people actually talk about these things before getting married.
More afraid to share the truth, find out that one of them is unhappy with the current level of things.


You speak the truth. Lack of communication has always been an issue with me in the past. I am finally with someone I feel comfortable sharing my thoughts with. Or if not comfortable, at least I don't feel like I'll run him off. I'll admit, he is the more grounded of the 2 of us. He wants me to speak up more about sex. I'm trying.
 
2014-02-08 03:06:15 PM

Egalitarian: This BS again? Plenty of straight men who don't want to have sex with their long-term partner as often as the gal would prefer. Of course, when men start holding out on sex, it's because of their promiscuous biological urges or being tired of the same old vag or some crap. Whereas women who do the same are stereotypical withholding frigid wives. (if a woman gets tired of the same old peen, that's a whole 'nother firestorm).

Also like to point out, there are so many guys out there who can't stand it when their woman tries to initiate sex ... it has to be completely on the man's schedule and terms. Woman acts horny at anything but the appointed time? OH NOEZ SCARY!!! GET AWAY!


I'm guilty of the last point more often than  I'd care to admit. If I'm not in the mood it's really difficult to get there.
 
2014-02-08 03:06:21 PM

Hermione_Granger: Go shag your wife.


This works for us. Good to see someone else who gets it. But there's this:

Egalitarian: Also like to point out, there are so many guys out there who can't stand it when their woman tries to initiate sex ... it has to be completely on the man's schedule and terms. Woman acts horny at anything but the appointed time? OH NOEZ SCARY!!! GET AWAY!


It has to go both ways. If you can both agree on the lines and say that there's pretty much no such thing as rape in the relationship (barring extenuating circumstances) and both of you promise to always be down with what the other wants sexually then it just snowballs and gets better, assuming you're compatible and chose your partner wisely. If there are really guys like that who can't handle a woman taking control that's pretty sad and pathetic to me. Guys need to open up more than that. No wonder women get bored.
 
2014-02-08 03:09:35 PM

TanHamster: FTA: "masculine chores, like ... fixing the car"


Slightly off topic...  I'm an engineer at a large company (about 3000 employees at this site) and I would expect engineers to have the competence to tackle auto repairs.  Nope.  I'm the only man I know who even does his own oil changes.  I've never had my car to a garage for anything other than an inspection, and I'm by no means a master mechanic.  Fixing cars is not particularly difficult if you have the right tools.  My observation is that lots of men are pretty helpless when it comes to fixing the car.

LOL at the people who pay a dealer $75+ for a synthetic oil change.  AutoZone synthetic is $20/jug, and Amazon has Fram filters for $3 when you subscribe-and-save.  Do your own oil changes, and take that $50 you're saving and treat your spouse to a nice dinner.


Try the K&N filters if you use synthetic. They're rated to go more miles whereas your Wix or Fram might only be rated for 5-7500 miles with conventional oil. Plus the K&N filters have a 1" nut at the bottom to facilitate easier removal. They're about $13-15 but if you figure a Fram retails for about $5-6 it evens out with the longer intervals with synthetic.
 
2014-02-08 03:14:09 PM

img.fark.net

 
2014-02-08 03:17:04 PM

Egalitarian: there are so many guys out there who can't stand it when their woman tries to initiate sex ... it has to be completely on the man's schedule and terms. Woman acts horny at anything but the appointed time? OH NOEZ SCARY!!! GET AWAY!


Who the fark are these assholes?  Elderly Arabs?  I love it when my wife initiates sex.  I also love it when it's my idea and she goes for it.  Does that make her a prostitute?  We're married, for farks's sake.
 
2014-02-08 03:18:15 PM

TanHamster: FTA: "masculine chores, like ... fixing the car"


Slightly off topic...  I'm an engineer at a large company (about 3000 employees at this site) and I would expect engineers to have the competence to tackle auto repairs.  Nope.  I'm the only man I know who even does his own oil changes.  I've never had my car to a garage for anything other than an inspection, and I'm by no means a master mechanic.  Fixing cars is not particularly difficult if you have the right tools.  My observation is that lots of men are pretty helpless when it comes to fixing the car.

LOL at the people who pay a dealer $75+ for a synthetic oil change.  AutoZone synthetic is $20/jug, and Amazon has Fram filters for $3 when you subscribe-and-save.  Do your own oil changes, and take that $50 you're saving and treat your spouse to a nice dinner.


I used to not know a damned thing about cars except changing the battery and the bulbs until about 5 years ago or so, when we were very broke and I figured I could probably tackle my own oil changes and save a few bucks. So I watched a couple videos and did it.  Then the door latch mechanism broke, so I took it apart and fixed it with a coathanger.Then my steering column got sort of knocked loose, so I got the Haynes manual, took it apart, and jimmied it back into it's proper place.Then I needed new brake pads, so I did that. Then the main bank of power window switches went out, so I took apart my console and replaced it. Then my alternator quit, so I learned how to replace it, as well as the serpentine belt, the power steering pump, the thermostat, etc, etc...

I'm still not a "car guy" but I've gotten a lot better at fixing things as they break. It doesn't hurt that I've been learning on a 1996 Volvo. Repairs are usually minor but not infrequent. Used parts on ebay are cheap and online forums are amazingly informative. Plus, my wife thinks I'm a total stud because I can do these things without taking the car to a shop.
 
2014-02-08 03:19:57 PM
"Women have less problems finding people willing to help them in adultery than men do."

THIS.


Astute observation. We both have hall passes after 15 years. Guess who's getting strange and who isn't?


//we still fark like beasts though.
//married, kids, wife. Hi ladies, come and get it!
 
2014-02-08 03:20:17 PM

ramblinwreck: sn82: Headso: sn82: DubyaHater: This is why I don't get married. I just date a girl for a few years, get bored with her and break up with her. Easier than cheating and marriage would just complicate the break-up.

Why do you break-up with her? Was there something wrong with her or the relationship?

he said he dates boring chicks and gets tired of them.

Shhhh, I was testing him.

So, why are you shaming this guy?  Is it the fact that he won't get married?  Because marriage is SUCH a good deal for men if it ends in divorce - in which 70% of divorces are filed by women and it jumps to 90% of divorces are initiated by the woman if she's a college graduate.


I'm pretty sure that that's not what he's insinuating.
 
2014-02-08 03:21:43 PM
"Specifically, if men did all of what the researchers characterized as feminine chores like folding laundry, cooking or vacuuming - the kinds of things many women say they want their husbands to do - then couples had sex 1.5 fewer times per month than those with husbands who did what were considered masculine chores, like taking out the trash or fixing the car.  "

That's right. Zero devided by 1.5 is still zero.

/ Married.
 
2014-02-08 03:24:56 PM
Notice the lack of married people having sex pictures in this thread?

What's THAT tell ya?
 
2014-02-08 03:27:10 PM

TanHamster: FTA: "masculine chores, like ... fixing the car"


Slightly off topic...  I'm an engineer at a large company (about 3000 employees at this site) and I would expect engineers to have the competence to tackle auto repairs.  Nope.  I'm the only man I know who even does his own oil changes.  I've never had my car to a garage for anything other than an inspection, and I'm by no means a master mechanic.  Fixing cars is not particularly difficult if you have the right tools.  My observation is that lots of men are pretty helpless when it comes to fixing the car.

LOL at the people who pay a dealer $75+ for a synthetic oil change.  AutoZone synthetic is $20/jug, and Amazon has Fram filters for $3 when you subscribe-and-save.  Do your own oil changes, and take that $50 you're saving and treat your spouse to a nice dinner.


I was with you until you said Fram.

Anyways, a lot of engineers have enough money to lease or buy new cars where oil changes have to be done by the dealership for warranty and such.

Its not like those guys where the status symbol is driving the oldest, most beat up, highest miles on the clock pickup.
 
2014-02-08 03:28:07 PM

23FPB23: Notice the lack of married people having sex pictures in this thread?

What's THAT tell ya?


I've gained weight and am not as pretty as I used to be?
 
2014-02-08 03:29:51 PM
i just woke up to a blow job this morning, really getting a kick out of these replies

/Which led to farking
//which led to cuddling
///which led to another farking
////which led to breakfast in bed then off to work
//haters gonna hate
 
2014-02-08 03:30:37 PM

scumm: We both have hall passes after 15 years.


Whose idea was that??
 
2014-02-08 03:32:03 PM

Mr.Poops: i just woke up to a blow job this morning, really getting a kick out of these replies

/Which led to farking
//which led to cuddling
///which led to another farking
////which led to breakfast in bed then off to work
//haters gonna hate


Damn... sucks that you have to work on a Saturday dude. I feel kind of bad for ya.
 
2014-02-08 03:35:28 PM
You can get the best of both worlds in the feminine housework vs sex thing. She works longer hours than me, so the laundry is pretty much my job. But I do it like I would if I was a bachelor. I don't match the socks together before putting them away (I buy my socks in bulk for this very purpose), I refuse to learn how to fold women's clothing. I just kind of shove it wherever. Bras and socks and everything just get crammed into the same drawer in a big messy jumble.

I think this works because it doesn't 'feminize' me so she can still be attracted because although I'm doing feminine work, I'm still being manly about it. Also, although I accomplish these tasks shoddily, I take pride in other areas so it evens out. And she does appreciate that I do it. She's not dumb or selfish enough to curse me while looking for matching socks in the morning. She knows without me she'd be doing a lot more than that.

Doing the work itself leads to more sex because it de-stresses her and with women sexual desire and low stress must goes hand in hand but it's true you can't do the woman's work like a woman and expect her to want to fark while she watches you expertly folding dresses and blouses like they're your own clothes. Also try to show a little disdain for doing it too. But don't overdo that.
 
2014-02-08 03:37:07 PM
After a single year of not just a sexless marriage, but one with zero intimacy at all from her side, I sat her down and explained that I refused to live this way for the rest of my life and I asked her what - if anything - I could do to fix things (things that were apparently always broken)
She mostly shrugged and then used my offer as a way to get me to do laundry and cleaning.
I called her bluff and took over chores. You know what happened? Nothing. Her libido stayed exactly where it was.
So I asked her for a divorce and got the Hell out of there just shy of our two year anniversary.

Don't marry a prude.
Don't ever convince yourself that things will get better.
 
2014-02-08 03:37:28 PM
Looking at this entire thread, I've only this one thought:

I'm so GLAD I never want to get married, have children, and much, much less be in any relationship whatsoever.

All of you people can keep your alimony, child support, family court, divorces, sexless matrimony, marriage counseling and all the other crazy draconian shiat to yourselves.
 
2014-02-08 03:38:38 PM

TanHamster: Do your own oil changes, and take that $50 you're saving and treat your spouse to a nice dinner.

pay for a faster Internet connection for PornHub
 
2014-02-08 03:39:08 PM

QU!RK1019: quo vadimus: If you really believed that, you would have sex less often, however seldom she would prefer.

Instead you beg for it and she appeases you. You might be fine with that arrangement, and she might be too, but don't pretend that your mediocre version of fulfillment is the ideal for all humanity or this brave moral stance you're taking. It's not a very big priority for you. We don't all have the same priorities, and we don't all have the same reasons for them. Learn this and a whole new world will open up to you.

No, it's not an all or nothing predicament.  I like Thai food, she doesn't care for it.  Is that important enough to divorce her over?  Conversely, should we never go to a Thai restaurant ever again?  Or... sheesh, maybe we could try to compromise.

What a farking concept.

Besides, you're farking weird with the "you beg for it and she appeases you"assumption.


Previously you wrote "frequency of sex pales in comparison to everything else." You had also stated that the frequency with which you do have sex is more often than your wife would prefer. Out of all the things that "everything" encompasses, your wife's happiness, I would think, would be one.

Perhaps you were exaggerating, or perhaps you mistyped. I think you were misrepresenting the importance of sex to you in a purposeful manner. But now it looks like you're backing out of your own words by way of pulling my statements out of context and pretending that I am the one whose language excluded compromise.

A more polite way of backing out without suffering much shame at all would have been to simply say "okay, we both know I didn't mean everything when I said that thing before." Poetic license and all that.
 Anyway, enjoy all that panang you'll be compromising on!
 
2014-02-08 03:39:42 PM

sxacho: TanHamster: FTA: "masculine chores, like ... fixing the car"


Slightly off topic...  I'm an engineer at a large company (about 3000 employees at this site) and I would expect engineers to have the competence to tackle auto repairs.  Nope.  I'm the only man I know who even does his own oil changes.  I've never had my car to a garage for anything other than an inspection, and I'm by no means a master mechanic.  Fixing cars is not particularly difficult if you have the right tools.  My observation is that lots of men are pretty helpless when it comes to fixing the car.

LOL at the people who pay a dealer $75+ for a synthetic oil change.  AutoZone synthetic is $20/jug, and Amazon has Fram filters for $3 when you subscribe-and-save.  Do your own oil changes, and take that $50 you're saving and treat your spouse to a nice dinner.

I used to not know a damned thing about cars except changing the battery and the bulbs until about 5 years ago or so, when we were very broke and I figured I could probably tackle my own oil changes and save a few bucks. So I watched a couple videos and did it.  Then the door latch mechanism broke, so I took it apart and fixed it with a coathanger.Then my steering column got sort of knocked loose, so I got the Haynes manual, took it apart, and jimmied it back into it's proper place.Then I needed new brake pads, so I did that. Then the main bank of power window switches went out, so I took apart my console and replaced it. Then my alternator quit, so I learned how to replace it, as well as the serpentine belt, the power steering pump, the thermostat, etc, etc...

I'm still not a "car guy" but I've gotten a lot better at fixing things as they break. It doesn't hurt that I've been learning on a 1996 Volvo. Repairs are usually minor but not infrequent. Used parts on ebay are cheap and online forums are amazingly informative. Plus, my wife thinks I'm a total stud because I can do these things without taking the car to a shop.


I used to do this with my cars. It was fun.
Now I am older and have money and I pay an AWESOME grease monkey to fix all these things.
That and I would rather trust his brake jobs over my brake jobs. He is an expert, I am a hack.
Plus I have more money and less time now.
PLUS I read an amazing, AMAZING story once, and in it, the single guy was telling his story.
"I had a wife and daughter once. Then one day I decided to save some money and replace the brake shoes on my car myself."

That was the LAST TIME that I did work on my car.
(YES, I really trust my mechanics, but you have to trust people everyday.)
 
2014-02-08 03:40:08 PM

Egalitarian: This BS again? Plenty of straight men who don't want to have sex with their long-term partner as often as the gal would prefer. Of course, when men start holding out on sex, it's because of their promiscuous biological urges or being tired of the same old vag or some crap. Whereas women who do the same are stereotypical withholding frigid wives. (if a woman gets tired of the same old peen, that's a whole 'nother firestorm).

Also like to point out, there are so many guys out there who can't stand it when their woman tries to initiate sex ... it has to be completely on the man's schedule and terms. Woman acts horny at anything but the appointed time? OH NOEZ SCARY!!! GET AWAY!


Wait, what? Seriously?

You're saying there are guys that'll turn down sex just because the woman initiated?

I. . .I. . . I don't understand. . .
 
2014-02-08 03:41:06 PM

Thingster: I. . .I. . . I don't understand. . .


Because it's even rarer than a female orgasm.
 
2014-02-08 03:41:52 PM

VespaGuy: After a single year of not just a sexless marriage, but one with zero intimacy at all from her side, I sat her down and explained that I refused to live this way for the rest of my life and I asked her what - if anything - I could do to fix things (things that were apparently always broken)
She mostly shrugged and then used my offer as a way to get me to do laundry and cleaning.
I called her bluff and took over chores. You know what happened? Nothing. Her libido stayed exactly where it was.
So I asked her for a divorce and got the Hell out of there just shy of our two year anniversary.

Don't marry a prude.
Don't ever convince yourself that things will get better.


Well not if things were never even good to begin with, obviously. That sucks. Congrats on the divorce though.
 
2014-02-08 03:43:27 PM

jjorsett: When a woman thinks of sex as something she permits you to do to her, find a different woman.


"Sex is that disgusting thing that you do with someone you love."

My wife told me her mother said that to her when she was about 12 and telling her the "facts of life". My wife said she thought to herself "No, that can't be right", thank goodness for both of us.
 
2014-02-08 03:44:57 PM

Peepeye: namatad: Peepeye: I'm a female who is engaged. All these comments are freaking me out a bit. The very few times I've turned him down are when he wakes me up for a morning quickie, although I usually don't mind. And if I wake him up at night....he's always willing. We work a lot. Lack of time is our issue.

USE YOUR WORDS
It is all about words.
Expectations. Etc.

As long as you talk about this shiat long before it comes a problem, it wont become a problem.

"NO HONEY. I am tired, need to get going for work, blah blah blah. Go jerk off and we will fark like crazy later tonight!"  or whatever

Or you can do what millions other people do. Push him away, get pissed, push him away some more, complain to your girlfriends instead of talking to him, and enter the relationship death spiral.

I wonder how many people actually talk about these things before getting married.
More afraid to share the truth, find out that one of them is unhappy with the current level of things.

You speak the truth. Lack of communication has always been an issue with me in the past. I am finally with someone I feel comfortable sharing my thoughts with. Or if not comfortable, at least I don't feel like I'll run him off. I'll admit, he is the more grounded of the 2 of us. He wants me to speak up more about sex. I'm trying.


You're going to do fine!
There was a recent article about relationships that had an idea, a Communication BUBBLE.
EVERYTHING that is said in the "bubble" stays there. PERIOD.

GO INTO THE BUBBLE, tell him everything that you have been avoiding. Then RUN OUT.
After that, the rest will get easier.
 
2014-02-08 03:47:05 PM

VespaGuy: After a single year of not just a sexless marriage, but one with zero intimacy at all from her side, I sat her down and explained that I refused to live this way for the rest of my life and I asked her what - if anything - I could do to fix things (things that were apparently always broken)
She mostly shrugged and then used my offer as a way to get me to do laundry and cleaning.
I called her bluff and took over chores. You know what happened? Nothing. Her libido stayed exactly where it was.
So I asked her for a divorce and got the Hell out of there just shy of our two year anniversary.

Don't marry a prude.
Don't ever convince yourself that things will get better.


I hear ya. Broken is broken. And unless they want to fix it, it will never get fixed. Mental, physical or both.
ALAS, we both assumed that things would change after the marriage, rather than stay exactly the same.
 
2014-02-08 03:47:16 PM

TanHamster: FTA: "masculine chores, like ... fixing the car"


Slightly off topic...  I'm an engineer at a large company (about 3000 employees at this site) and I would expect engineers to have the competence to tackle auto repairs.  Nope.  I'm the only man I know who even does his own oil changes.  I've never had my car to a garage for anything other than an inspection, and I'm by no means a master mechanic.  Fixing cars is not particularly difficult if you have the right tools.  My observation is that lots of men are pretty helpless when it comes to fixing the car.

LOL at the people who pay a dealer $75+ for a synthetic oil change.  AutoZone synthetic is $20/jug, and Amazon has Fram filters for $3 when you subscribe-and-save.  Do your own oil changes, and take that $50 you're saving and treat your spouse to a nice dinner.


Also slightly off topic. I am an engineer too. For a car manufacturer. Do you know how many engineers we employ who are great at what they do in a limited scope but don't know shiat about cars? It's terrifying. This part doesn't meet spec. They get that but they don't understand how that makes the car not run. Yeesh
 
2014-02-08 03:48:52 PM

Prank Monkey: TanHamster: FTA: "masculine chores, like ... fixing the car"


Slightly off topic...  I'm an engineer at a large company (about 3000 employees at this site) and I would expect engineers to have the competence to tackle auto repairs.  Nope.  I'm the only man I know who even does his own oil changes.  I've never had my car to a garage for anything other than an inspection, and I'm by no means a master mechanic.  Fixing cars is not particularly difficult if you have the right tools.  My observation is that lots of men are pretty helpless when it comes to fixing the car.

LOL at the people who pay a dealer $75+ for a synthetic oil change.  AutoZone synthetic is $20/jug, and Amazon has Fram filters for $3 when you subscribe-and-save.  Do your own oil changes, and take that $50 you're saving and treat your spouse to a nice dinner.

Also slightly off topic. I am an engineer too. For a car manufacturer. Do you know how many engineers we employ who are great at what they do in a limited scope but don't know shiat about cars? It's terrifying. This part doesn't meet spec. They get that but they don't understand how that makes the car not run. Yeesh


They must have had some VERY lenient professors in school.
 
2014-02-08 03:51:41 PM

Fafai: Also try to show a little disdain for doing it too. But don't overdo that.


Like while you're folding just hold up an article of her clothing and look at it quizzically and mutter to yourself, "the fark is this shiat?" before balling it up and shoving it under something else.

/My wife is great for this but I hope more women appreciate that although they are free to wear mens style clothes (like pants or suits etc), most men don't really get to wear skirts and dresses so folding this stuff is more foreign and confusing to a man than say a woman folding a man's clothes. But for the good of your sexlife, even if you've agreed that laundry will be his responsibilty, he's probably better off never learning how to fold women's clothes at all
 
2014-02-08 04:00:58 PM

doyner: Thingster: I. . .I. . . I don't understand. . .

Because it's even rarer than a female orgasm.


I've also never been with a "non-responsive" woman, so everytime I hear about the orgasm being rare it confuses me as well.

I guess I'm just easily confused by people that don't enjoy good sex.
 
2014-02-08 04:06:05 PM

namatad: TL;DR: Married women don't want to have sex with their husbands

TADA
If your wife wont fark you, tell her you are getting sex elsewhere.
If she has a problem with this, divorce her.
TADA


./seriously, why is anyone in a sexless, unhappy marriage these days? the kids? WAY TO fark up your children. "Marriage should be unhappy, just like us!!"


So, if your sex life isn't ideal, you should abandon your vows, go through a bitter divorce and custody battle, pay tens of thousands of dollars to lawyers and fark up your finances, because if you don't you'll fark up your children.

Hmm.
 
2014-02-08 04:14:24 PM

quo vadimus: QU!RK1019: quo vadimus: If you really believed that, you would have sex less often, however seldom she would prefer.

Instead you beg for it and she appeases you. You might be fine with that arrangement, and she might be too, but don't pretend that your mediocre version of fulfillment is the ideal for all humanity or this brave moral stance you're taking. It's not a very big priority for you. We don't all have the same priorities, and we don't all have the same reasons for them. Learn this and a whole new world will open up to you.

No, it's not an all or nothing predicament.  I like Thai food, she doesn't care for it.  Is that important enough to divorce her over?  Conversely, should we never go to a Thai restaurant ever again?  Or... sheesh, maybe we could try to compromise.

What a farking concept.

Besides, you're farking weird with the "you beg for it and she appeases you"assumption.

Previously you wrote "frequency of sex pales in comparison to everything else." You had also stated that the frequency with which you do have sex is more often than your wife would prefer. Out of all the things that "everything" encompasses, your wife's happiness, I would think, would be one.

Perhaps you were exaggerating, or perhaps you mistyped. I think you were misrepresenting the importance of sex to you in a purposeful manner. But now it looks like you're backing out of your own words by way of pulling my statements out of context and pretending that I am the one whose language excluded compromise.

A more polite way of backing out without suffering much shame at all would have been to simply say "okay, we both know I didn't mean everything when I said that thing before." Poetic license and all that.
 Anyway, enjoy all that panang you'll be compromising on!


You sound like a pedantic shiathead.
 
2014-02-08 04:14:30 PM

namatad: Dont kids require sex??


No.  They most certainly do NOT require sex.  As a matter of fact, people go to jail just for trying.
 
2014-02-08 04:16:36 PM
Women aren't turned on by whipped effeminate men? Get me my fainting couch.
 
2014-02-08 04:18:36 PM

ramblinwreck: There's nothing more a woman can't stand is watching a man relax.


CSB: I'm reading this, she's on the couch (recumbent) watching the Olympics, pops her head up and says "I'm being lazy and and STILL on the computer and wasting my life and blah."
 
2014-02-08 04:21:19 PM

Occam's Nailfile: namatad: TL;DR: Married women don't want to have sex with their husbands

TADA
If your wife wont fark you, tell her you are getting sex elsewhere.
If she has a problem with this, divorce her.
TADA


./seriously, why is anyone in a sexless, unhappy marriage these days? the kids? WAY TO fark up your children. "Marriage should be unhappy, just like us!!"

So, if your sex life isn't ideal, you should abandon your vows, go through a bitter divorce and custody battle, pay tens of thousands of dollars to lawyers and fark up your finances, because if you don't you'll fark up your children.

Hmm.


I said sexless and UNHAPPY marriage.
I would argue that most kids would MUCH rather have their parents divorced and happy, rather than live in that miserable house. 

I noticed that you said BITTER divorce and custody battle.  WHY?
Why would the divorce be bitter? Why would two unhappy people fight to stay together?
And if one or both of them drag the kids into it? FARK THEM both. They really shouldnt have been together.

I dont know a single person who has ever said, "I am SO glad that parents stayed together, unhappy fighting all the time, making all of us miserable."
I do know MANY people who have said, "GOD I wish they had jsut gotten divorced instead of farking us kids over."


I never said that they should end their marriage lightly, but I also know that few people can fix their marriages or do fix their marriage.

VOW?
Well, not all of us are religious.
When I said my "vows" it was to a judge. And it wasnt a promise to be unhappy all the rest of my life because my wife refused to work on our marriage and expected me to just do what she said.
 
2014-02-08 04:26:25 PM
I just had a baby. I dont think Im ever getting laid again
 
2014-02-08 04:31:47 PM

das224: ramblinwreck: There's nothing more a woman can't stand is watching a man relax.

CSB: I'm reading this, she's on the couch (recumbent) watching the Olympics, pops her head up and says "I'm being lazy and and STILL on the computer and wasting my life and blah."


WTF
Because watching the olympics isnt lazy and a waste of life?!!

I have a friend who used to tell me that I should do something rather than sit around playing WoW, this while she was sitting around watching L&O marathons.

I would argue that at least I interact with humans while playing a game, while she was just a lump.
 
2014-02-08 04:33:32 PM
This thread is making me feel a lot better about being married. It isn't for everyone and I have to get used to the idea of marriage and monogamy in general becoming less popular and that could be a good thing overall without necessarily reflecting on my own relationship but for certain personality types monogamy is the best path to having crazy, kinky, boundary-pushing sex. My marriage is very much a sexual arrangement as much as anything and if sex is important to people they should be upfront and honest with their partners about it and stand up for themselves by refusing to settle for less. There is absolutely nothing wrong with placing a high priority on increasingly good sex and holding your partner accountable for their end of it.
 
2014-02-08 04:33:45 PM

tylerdurden217: No sex is a legitimate reason for divorce.


There are people who think this.
They also think they can't live without sex.

They are wrong.
 
2014-02-08 04:35:21 PM
I've been married twice. First wife, monogamous dating 4 years, married for 5 = 9 years. Current wife monogamous dating 3 years, married for 6 = 9 years.

I'm gonna be 44 years old next month. I'm a decent looking guy, packing somewhere around the national average, depending on the stimuli.

Oh yeah, I've got one child with the ex wife, 2 pre-schoolers with my wife.

I TOTALLY understand the reasons for the dropoff in sex after you get married. Believe me. These precious snowflake bastards will suck the life outta you faster than you can say Jack Robinson.

But this is friggin nonsense. EVERY MAN I know, biatching about not getting pussy, treats his wife like a possession. Flat out. These are the same motherfarkers who went through the whole "is she pretty enough to impress my friends" ordeal when they were making the marriage decision.

18 years and I've never, not one time, asked for a blow job. Yet they are plentiful. It's kind of amazing what happens when you treat your partner like an equal, you treat your duties to your family and the work required to keep a house in shape equally, you have some semblance of dick control and know what things will bring your woman off - and do them with a passion-, and making it so that f*cking you isn't more trouble than it's worth.

Nobody is going to f*ck you because you deserve it. NO. BAH. DEE. No one. Not a single person on the face of this planet. Nobody in the whole goddamned universe. If you are not fun in the sack, you ain't getting any. It truly is this simple.

"Oh yeah yeah yeah. Not mine. She's just a farking coont. Nobody could please this biatch."

She got that expectation from someone.
 
2014-02-08 04:37:17 PM

namatad: Occam's Nailfile: namatad: TL;DR: Married women don't want to have sex with their husbands

TADA
If your wife wont fark you, tell her you are getting sex elsewhere.
If she has a problem with this, divorce her.
TADA


./seriously, why is anyone in a sexless, unhappy marriage these days? the kids? WAY TO fark up your children. "Marriage should be unhappy, just like us!!"

So, if your sex life isn't ideal, you should abandon your vows, go through a bitter divorce and custody battle, pay tens of thousands of dollars to lawyers and fark up your finances, because if you don't you'll fark up your children.

Hmm.

I said sexless and UNHAPPY marriage.
I would argue that most kids would MUCH rather have their parents divorced and happy, rather than live in that miserable house. 

I noticed that you said BITTER divorce and custody battle.  WHY?
Why would the divorce be bitter? Why would two unhappy people fight to stay together?
And if one or both of them drag the kids into it? FARK THEM both. They really shouldnt have been together.

I dont know a single person who has ever said, "I am SO glad that parents stayed together, unhappy fighting all the time, making all of us miserable."
I do know MANY people who have said, "GOD I wish they had jsut gotten divorced instead of farking us kids over."


I never said that they should end their marriage lightly, but I also know that few people can fix their marriages or do fix their marriage.

VOW?
Well, not all of us are religious.
When I said my "vows" it was to a judge. And it wasnt a promise to be unhappy all the rest of my life because my wife refused to work on our marriage and expected me to just do what she said.


You started the thread by saying that if you aren't getting the sex you want, you'll flat out tell your wife you're going to fark another woman, or women.  How happy do you think that's going to make your marriage?

Any why would your divorce be bitter, after such a declaration?  Oh, I dunno, maybe because DIVORCES ARE BITTER, especially when one of you is farking someone else.  What fantasy world do you live in, where you can cheat on a spouse, and have a tidy little split up that everyone gets away from gliding on glittery rainbow sleigh?

Marital betrayal crushes people.  It's one of the leading causes of murder.  Not getting laid enough?  Maybe your spouse is depressed.  Maybe she's just going through a low libido cycle.  Maybe you're getting fat, you don't shower enough, and you're just not attractive to her anymore.  Or maybe SHE doesn't feel attractive. Any NUMBER of reasons can send a marital sex life into the shiatter for a little while - or even for a long while.

The whole idea behind "till death do us part" is that it is a GIVEN that over the course of 60 years together, there will be a few years in there where it's not all sunshine and puppy dogs.

I am not saying that there aren't reasons for divorce.  But if you go into a marriage thinking, "well, if she doesn't give me enough pussy, I'm just gonna go get some elsewhere and to hell with my commitments to her", well sir, you don't deserve a life companion.  And the "split up, it's better for the kids" myth is a farking JOKE.  That's the excuse people use when they are too selfish to work on a marriage, and they don't want to burden themselves with the guilt of destroying their family by bailing out.  The evidence for that is right there in your first statement, "if I don't get what I want all bets are off."
 
2014-02-08 04:38:01 PM

HotIgneous Intruder: tylerdurden217: No sex is a legitimate reason for divorce.

There are people who think this.
They also think they can't live without sex.

They are wrong.


They're wrong if they think they can't survive without sex, but not about the first part. No sex is indeed a valid reason to end it. Sayign otherwise is like saying you think people should tolerate physical abuse so long as it doesn't actually kill them.
 
2014-02-08 04:41:21 PM

Fafai: Fafai: Also try to show a little disdain for doing it too. But don't overdo that.

Like while you're folding just hold up an article of her clothing and look at it quizzically and mutter to yourself, "the fark is this shiat?" before balling it up and shoving it under something else.

/My wife is great for this but I hope more women appreciate that although they are free to wear mens style clothes (like pants or suits etc), most men don't really get to wear skirts and dresses so folding this stuff is more foreign and confusing to a man than say a woman folding a man's clothes. But for the good of your sexlife, even if you've agreed that laundry will be his responsibilty, he's probably better off never learning how to fold women's clothes at all


At my house, everyone just jams the clothing in drawers. Life's too short.
 
2014-02-08 04:45:35 PM

Occam's Nailfile: And the "split up, it's better for the kids" myth is a farking JOKE. That's the excuse people use when they are too selfish to work on a marriage, and they don't want to burden themselves with the guilt of destroying their family by bailing out.


Sometimes, maybe, but surely you've got to agree that kids should not remain in dysfunctional or abusive families if it can be helped? No teo cases are the same. I was able to work on/fix my marriage when we hit the sexless part after the birth of our child (now things are better than when we were dating) but if I had put in all that work and she didn't reciprocate? I would have left. And fark you for telling me that would be selfish. Selfish is trying to keep someone in your pocket through manipulation and guilt.
 
2014-02-08 04:46:59 PM

Mr.Poops: i just woke up to a blow job this morning, really getting a kick out of these replies

/Which led to farking
//which led to cuddling
///which led to another farking
////which led to breakfast in bed then off to work
//haters gonna hate


What company does she work at?
 
2014-02-08 04:48:44 PM

Fafai: This thread is making me feel a lot better about being married. It isn't for everyone and I have to get used to the idea of marriage and monogamy in general becoming less popular and that could be a good thing overall without necessarily reflecting on my own relationship but for certain personality types monogamy is the best path to having crazy, kinky, boundary-pushing sex. My marriage is very much a sexual arrangement as much as anything and if sex is important to people they should be upfront and honest with their partners about it and stand up for themselves by refusing to settle for less. There is absolutely nothing wrong with placing a high priority on increasingly good sex and holding your partner accountable for their end of it.


THIS

In the end marriage is a relationship bound by many dimensions, which are different for everyone, which include compromise and communication. Some of those things are important to you and your spouse, others are not.

Religion
Children
Sex and Intimacy
Money
Politics
Common Interests
Separate Hobbies
etc etc etc

But in the end, if your needs are not being met, in enough of the dimensions, you will meet them one way or the other.
 
2014-02-08 04:49:48 PM

Fafai: They're wrong if they think they can't survive without sex, but not about the first part. No sex is indeed a valid reason to end it. Sayign otherwise is like saying you think people should tolerate physical abuse so long as it doesn't actually kill them.


LOL.  How old are you people?  Lack of sex =/= physical abuse.  It's not even in the same zip code.  Grow the hell up.
 
2014-02-08 04:52:14 PM

Occam's Nailfile: Marital Relationship betrayal crushes people.  It's one of the leading causes of murder.  Not getting laid enough?  Maybe your spouse is depressed.  Maybe she's just going through a low libido cycle.  Maybe you're getting fat, you don't shower enough, and you're just not attractive to her anymore.  Or maybe SHE doesn't feel attractive. Any NUMBER of reasons can send a marital sex life into the shiatter for a little while - or even for a long while.


I never said that the first thing that you should do is cheat. But once you have tried everything else to fix your marriage, you pretty much have three choices:
1) live with a broken marriage
2) get out
3) cheat (with or without permission)

But cheating with permission, well it isnt betrayal or cheating then is it.
Did Bill cheat on Hillary? Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe he had permission for his affairs. We dont know.
But their marriage sure seems to have worked. Even with the affairs.
 
2014-02-08 04:53:20 PM

Occam's Nailfile: Fafai: They're wrong if they think they can't survive without sex, but not about the first part. No sex is indeed a valid reason to end it. Sayign otherwise is like saying you think people should tolerate physical abuse so long as it doesn't actually kill them.

LOL.  How old are you people?  Lack of sex =/= physical abuse.  It's not even in the same zip code.  Grow the hell up.


LOL
Agreed.
But you do agree that there are many different and valid reasons for ending a marriage, and that lack of sex is one of them. Right?
 
2014-02-08 04:54:59 PM

No Such Agency: Egalitarian: there are so many guys out there who can't stand it when their woman tries to initiate sex ... it has to be completely on the man's schedule and terms. Woman acts horny at anything but the appointed time? OH NOEZ SCARY!!! GET AWAY!

Who the fark are these assholes?  Elderly Arabs?  I love it when my wife initiates sex.  I also love it when it's my idea and she goes for it.  Does that make her a prostitute?  We're married, for farks's sake.


They're guys who get pissed off when they think anyone is trying to make them do something that wasn't their idea. They're like "Nobody controls me! I make the decisions around here!"
 
2014-02-08 04:55:59 PM

Occam's Nailfile: Fafai: They're wrong if they think they can't survive without sex, but not about the first part. No sex is indeed a valid reason to end it. Sayign otherwise is like saying you think people should tolerate physical abuse so long as it doesn't actually kill them.

LOL.  How old are you people?  Lack of sex =/= physical abuse.  It's not even in the same zip code.  Grow the hell up.


Withholding sex or intimacy is categorized as emotional abuse. And I find it funny you seem to be equating maturity with sex in that way. I equate it the other way. I expect to be having even more mind blowing sex when I'm older.
 
2014-02-08 04:56:34 PM

Fafai: Occam's Nailfile: And the "split up, it's better for the kids" myth is a farking JOKE. That's the excuse people use when they are too selfish to work on a marriage, and they don't want to burden themselves with the guilt of destroying their family by bailing out.

Sometimes, maybe, but surely you've got to agree that kids should not remain in dysfunctional or abusive families if it can be helped? No teo cases are the same. I was able to work on/fix my marriage when we hit the sexless part after the birth of our child (now things are better than when we were dating) but if I had put in all that work and she didn't reciprocate? I would have left. And fark you for telling me that would be selfish. Selfish is trying to keep someone in your pocket through manipulation and guilt.


My buddy and his girlfriend got together when they were 13, had a kid at about 21 and are still together at 30 and are freaking miserable and have been long before a kid ever came in to the picture. Shes addicted to pills and they are both alcoholics. She farked his best friend (who is perhaps one of the ugliest males to walk the earth) and they constantly fight in front of the kid. The only reason they are still together is because of the child as quoted by both of them numerous times.

But obviously according to the poster above, they should just "work it out". If there was ever a example of 2 people who need to get the fark out of each others lives, it is these 2. It's almost as if there are all types of situations with different resolutions......
 
2014-02-08 04:57:41 PM
So
We havent breached this topic yet. Morality of divorce.
The moral majority would have us believe that marriage is sacred and divorce is evil.
Shouldn't they be working to make divorce illegal?
Shouldn't they be expelling divorced men and women from their offices and ranks?

Or should they be admitting that marriage isnt all that sacred and is basically a contract and that divorce happens for many reasons, including bad sex.
 
2014-02-08 04:57:55 PM

Fafai: Occam's Nailfile: And the "split up, it's better for the kids" myth is a farking JOKE. That's the excuse people use when they are too selfish to work on a marriage, and they don't want to burden themselves with the guilt of destroying their family by bailing out.

Sometimes, maybe, but surely you've got to agree that kids should not remain in dysfunctional or abusive families if it can be helped? No teo cases are the same. I was able to work on/fix my marriage when we hit the sexless part after the birth of our child (now things are better than when we were dating) but if I had put in all that work and she didn't reciprocate? I would have left. And fark you for telling me that would be selfish. Selfish is trying to keep someone in your pocket through manipulation and guilt.


I totally agree that an abusive relationship is worse on children than a divorce, we're on the same page there.

If you have kids though man, and you bail out because you're not getting laid enough, you have decided that your need to have someone else give you an orgasm is more important than the benefit you can give your kids by giving them a stable home.

You've nailed it though - you worked on it, and you kept working on it, and things got better.  What if it took an extra month, or an extra year?  Would that have been too much, to preserve your family?
 
2014-02-08 04:58:21 PM

FunkOut: No Such Agency: Egalitarian: there are so many guys out there who can't stand it when their woman tries to initiate sex ... it has to be completely on the man's schedule and terms. Woman acts horny at anything but the appointed time? OH NOEZ SCARY!!! GET AWAY!

Who the fark are these assholes?  Elderly Arabs?  I love it when my wife initiates sex.  I also love it when it's my idea and she goes for it.  Does that make her a prostitute?  We're married, for farks's sake.

They're guys who get pissed off when they think anyone is trying to make them do something that wasn't their idea. They're like "Nobody controls me! I make the decisions around here!"


Agreed. It's to the benefit of the marriage if each partner can come to enjoy being controlled to a certain degree. Me, I love it.
 
2014-02-08 04:59:01 PM

Fafai: Occam's Nailfile: Fafai: They're wrong if they think they can't survive without sex, but not about the first part. No sex is indeed a valid reason to end it. Sayign otherwise is like saying you think people should tolerate physical abuse so long as it doesn't actually kill them.

LOL.  How old are you people?  Lack of sex =/= physical abuse.  It's not even in the same zip code.  Grow the hell up.

Withholding sex or intimacy is categorized as emotional abuse. And I find it funny you seem to be equating maturity with sex in that way. I equate it the other way. I expect to be having even more mind blowing sex when I'm older.


Funny how some people are like "Sexual desire is something immature stupid people feel. When you get older and wise, you realise how silly and meaningless sex is and you can rise above such a base fleshly desire."
 
2014-02-08 04:59:12 PM

Fafai: Occam's Nailfile: And the "split up, it's better for the kids" myth is a farking JOKE. That's the excuse people use when they are too selfish to work on a marriage, and they don't want to burden themselves with the guilt of destroying their family by bailing out.

Sometimes, maybe, but surely you've got to agree that kids should not remain in dysfunctional or abusive families if it can be helped? No teo cases are the same. I was able to work on/fix my marriage when we hit the sexless part after the birth of our child (now things are better than when we were dating) but if I had put in all that work and she didn't reciprocate? I would have left. And fark you for telling me that would be selfish. Selfish is trying to keep someone in your pocket through manipulation and guilt.


You are arguing with someone who obviously has emotion tied to their take on it. We all do to lesser or greater extent. My semi-estranged father put a bullet in his head when I was 19 years old. To me, it was the most selfish, cowardly and flat out f*cking MEAN thing anybody could do, and leave behind, ....ever. And I would never do that. Not to my family, to my kids. I know how hard that is to leave behind.

That doesn't mean he didn't have his reasons. Ones that made sense to him. And maybe it really was for the best. I'm just never going to believe it because it will never not affect me. If somebody asks for my take on this, that's what you're going to get.
 
2014-02-08 05:00:07 PM

Occam's Nailfile: Fafai: Occam's Nailfile: And the "split up, it's better for the kids" myth is a farking JOKE. That's the excuse people use when they are too selfish to work on a marriage, and they don't want to burden themselves with the guilt of destroying their family by bailing out.

Sometimes, maybe, but surely you've got to agree that kids should not remain in dysfunctional or abusive families if it can be helped? No teo cases are the same. I was able to work on/fix my marriage when we hit the sexless part after the birth of our child (now things are better than when we were dating) but if I had put in all that work and she didn't reciprocate? I would have left. And fark you for telling me that would be selfish. Selfish is trying to keep someone in your pocket through manipulation and guilt.

I totally agree that an abusive relationship is worse on children than a divorce, we're on the same page there.

If you have kids though man, and you bail out because you're not getting laid enough, you have decided that your need to have someone else give you an orgasm is more important than the benefit you can give your kids by giving them a stable home.

You've nailed it though - you worked on it, and you kept working on it, and things got better.  What if it took an extra month, or an extra year?  Would that have been too much, to preserve your family?


Ah, much better explanation. Were on the same page.
 
2014-02-08 05:00:24 PM

namatad: Occam's Nailfile: Fafai: They're wrong if they think they can't survive without sex, but not about the first part. No sex is indeed a valid reason to end it. Sayign otherwise is like saying you think people should tolerate physical abuse so long as it doesn't actually kill them.

LOL.  How old are you people?  Lack of sex =/= physical abuse.  It's not even in the same zip code.  Grow the hell up.

LOL
Agreed.
But you do agree that there are many different and valid reasons for ending a marriage, and that lack of sex is one of them. Right?


I do not agree that lack of sex is one of them.  Lack of sex + treating you with contempt and disdain all the time, sure.  Lack of sex is a fixable, temporary thing, and it happens in EVERY SINGLE MARRIAGE at some point.  And if it's not fixable - maybe your spouse has a physical or psychological problem - well, that's what the whole, "in sickness and in health" part meant.
 
2014-02-08 05:00:25 PM

Fafai: Occam's Nailfile: Fafai: They're wrong if they think they can't survive without sex, but not about the first part. No sex is indeed a valid reason to end it. Sayign otherwise is like saying you think people should tolerate physical abuse so long as it doesn't actually kill them.

LOL.  How old are you people?  Lack of sex =/= physical abuse.  It's not even in the same zip code.  Grow the hell up.

Withholding sex or intimacy is categorized as emotional abuse. And I find it funny you seem to be equating maturity with sex in that way. I equate it the other way. I expect to be having even more mind blowing sex when I'm older.


THIS - Thank You
And before the panty twisters get their bunch in gear, no one is talking about a sick wife, or disabled or tired or busy or or or .
We are talking about run of the mill, withholding sex and intimacy.
If you dont think that this exists, talk to one of your married friends and ask them if their wife has ever done this. Ask your wife if she has ever done this.

sigh
this has been fun, but I need to think about going out and foraging
 
2014-02-08 05:03:16 PM
I should clarify, my point was not to derail the thread. But to say that important, emotional things such as divorce are going to come with biases that are too often impossible to overcome even with rational counter points.
 
2014-02-08 05:04:15 PM

HotIgneous Intruder: tylerdurden217: No sex is a legitimate reason for divorce.

There are people who think this.
They also think they can't live without sex.

They are wrong.


I said it was a legitimate reason, I didn't say that everyone in a sexless marriage should get divorced. People who don't want to have sex should marry other asexual people. There are people like this? Great. They should be together.

In other words, if your spouse loved to fark before you got married and maybe even shortly after and then all of a sudden stopped you shouldn't feel bad for filing for a divorce. I would absolutely try to work it out first. Then I'd file. I'd be embarrassed to admit that was the reason, but I think most people would understand.
 
2014-02-08 05:04:21 PM

Fafai: Withholding sex


Withholding sex =/= not having sex.  Sure, withholding sex is emotionally abusive, and probably comes along with lots of other emotionally abusive behavior.  But when a woman doesn't want to have sex, that doesn't mean she's withholding it.  Like I said, there are countless reasons why a woman might be in sexless phase in her life.  And nearly all women will be in that phase at some points.  Lots of men go through those phases, too.
 
2014-02-08 05:05:41 PM

Occam's Nailfile: If you have kids though man, and you bail out because you're not getting laid enough, you have decided that your need to have someone else give you an orgasm is more important than the benefit you can give your kids by giving them a stable home.


Well it isn't that simple. There'd be options discussed before splitting. At what point does it become the withholding partner's 'decision' to end things by not allowing the high desire partner to go outside the marriage?

Occam's Nailfile: What if it took an extra month, or an extra year? Would that have been too much, to preserve your family?


I told her I had a 'due date' set where if I didn't see the improvement I was looking for then I'd start lawyering up. I didn't tell her what this date was because, and I told her, I didn't want her basically just circling it on a calendar and artificially 'shaping up' until that day just to keep up appearances before falling back into the rut. ...I had months to spare, btw, when things started to really improve. But you have to stick to your guns at some point. And nothing was ever going to prevent me from loving my son and being in his life so 'to preserve the family' is a bit dramatic.
 
2014-02-08 05:06:20 PM

Occam's Nailfile: Fafai: Occam's Nailfile: And the "split up, it's better for the kids" myth is a farking JOKE. That's the excuse people use when they are too selfish to work on a marriage, and they don't want to burden themselves with the guilt of destroying their family by bailing out.

Sometimes, maybe, but surely you've got to agree that kids should not remain in dysfunctional or abusive families if it can be helped? No teo cases are the same. I was able to work on/fix my marriage when we hit the sexless part after the birth of our child (now things are better than when we were dating) but if I had put in all that work and she didn't reciprocate? I would have left. And fark you for telling me that would be selfish. Selfish is trying to keep someone in your pocket through manipulation and guilt.

I totally agree that an abusive relationship is worse on children than a divorce, we're on the same page there.

If you have kids though man, and you bail out because you're not getting laid enough, you have decided that your need to have someone else give you an orgasm is more important than the benefit you can give your kids by giving them a stable home.

You've nailed it though - you worked on it, and you kept working on it, and things got better.  What if it took an extra month, or an extra year?  Would that have been too much, to preserve your family?


While we all know about celebrity marriages which only last a month and I am sure that the same thing happens in real life, what are you talking about?
FEW people are together long enough to have kids and get divorce after 1 month of trying to fix the marriage.

Either the marriage was broken for a long time, and it just looks like they only spent a month, or they spend enough time to realize that it will never get fixed. That could take one day.

After dating the same woman for two years, I learned that she was still mourning the death of her mother, after ten years. I got out. If she was unable to move on and live a life after 10 years of mourning, there was nothing that I could do to fix that. Nothing. Until she fixed it, until she worked on it, until she was ready. 
You can not fix people. 

You can fix the dynamic between you and them, you can improve communication, and what not.
But if they are broken, you cant fix the relationship.

So how long should you stay in a marriage once you learn that your wife has been cheating on you since your wedding day? Why would you try to fix that? Just because you have kids or it might be hard?

bah
 
2014-02-08 05:08:48 PM

FunkOut: Funny how some people are like "Sexual desire is something immature stupid people feel. When you get older and wise, you realise how silly and meaningless sex is and you can rise above such a base fleshly desire."


Not what I'm saying.  I'm saying, as you get older (unless you're just an asshole), you'll realize that one of the certainties of marriage is that there will be periods - sometimes PAINFULLY long ones - where the bedroom cools off, and if you love your spouse, you'll weather it.
 
2014-02-08 05:11:28 PM

namatad: So how long should you stay in a marriage once you learn that your wife has been cheating on you since your wedding day?


About thirty seconds.  Just long enough to call her a whore, and fill a backpack.
 
2014-02-08 05:14:15 PM

Fafai: And nothing was ever going to prevent me from loving my son and being in his life


Except:

blog.larrybodine.com

Peace out, gonna go hump my wife ;)
 
2014-02-08 05:17:48 PM

Occam's Nailfile: FunkOut: Funny how some people are like "Sexual desire is something immature stupid people feel. When you get older and wise, you realise how silly and meaningless sex is and you can rise above such a base fleshly desire."

Not what I'm saying.  I'm saying, as you get older (unless you're just an asshole), you'll realize that one of the certainties of marriage is that there will be periods - sometimes PAINFULLY long ones - where the bedroom cools off, and if you love your spouse, you'll weather it.


Still sounds like "Sex isn't important. Get over the other person not being interested in you. Become their roommate."
 
2014-02-08 05:19:49 PM

Occam's Nailfile: Fafai: And nothing was ever going to prevent me from loving my son and being in his life

Except:

[blog.larrybodine.com image 226x400]

Peace out, gonna go hump my wife ;)


Well no because I didn't marry a self-serving biatch. We already agreed it would be joint custody if it came down to that.
 
2014-02-08 05:25:23 PM

Fafai: We already agreed it would be joint custody if it came down to that.


Didn't you also agree to all this stuff?

"to be my lawfully wedded(husband/wife), to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part."

I'm not saying I don't smell what you're cooking, I'm just saying, you wouldn't be the first husband going through a divorce to find out his wife has suddenly become Beelzebub.
 
2014-02-08 05:27:24 PM
You all sound like you need to get laid.
 
2014-02-08 05:35:47 PM

Occam's Nailfile: namatad: So how long should you stay in a marriage once you learn that your wife has been cheating on you since your wedding day?

About thirty seconds.  Just long enough to call her a whore, and fill a backpack.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7zcI_ObML_g

i1.ytimg.com
 
2014-02-08 05:36:51 PM

Occam's Nailfile: Fafai: We already agreed it would be joint custody if it came down to that.

Didn't you also agree to all this stuff?

"to be my lawfully wedded(husband/wife), to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part."

I'm not saying I don't smell what you're cooking, I'm just saying, you wouldn't be the first husband going through a divorce to find out his wife has suddenly become Beelzebub.


She's tried pulling the marriage vow card and that doesn't work with me. I told her straight up love doesn't work that way. You don't promise to stay together once in front of everyone and then stop trying to please each other and then use the vows as a guilt trip to enable your lack of effort in fixing things.

People need to stand up for themselves and their interests. Knowing the marriage could dissolve at any moment keeps it on it's toes rather than resting on the lazy laurels of the 'wedding vows'. Knowing divorce is always an option keeps it interesting and keeps the desire high, because you feel like you're truly being 'chosen' each day. If it's a farking trap for life, where's the incentive to show them you want to keep them around?
 
2014-02-08 05:40:38 PM

quo vadimus: Previously you wrote "frequency of sex pales in comparison to everything else." You had also stated that the frequency with which you do have sex is more often than your wife would prefer. Out of all the things that "everything" encompasses, your wife's happiness, I would think, would be one.

Perhaps you were exaggerating, or perhaps you mistyped. I think you were misrepresenting the importance of sex to you in a purposeful manner. But now it looks like you're backing out of your own words by way of pulling my statements out of context and pretending that I am the one whose language excluded compromise.

A more polite way of backing out without suffering much shame at all would have been to simply say "okay, we both know I didn't mean everything when I said that thing before." Poetic license and all that.
 Anyway, enjoy all that panang you'll be compromising on!


It's not that I'm backing out of anything, it's that you don't understand.  Maybe I didn't make it clear, and if so, that's my bad.  The "everything else" was meaning everything you stand to lose in a divorce, in exchange for (supposed) greater frequency of sex.  That's what it pales in comparison to.

But what's really weird is that you accused me of taking you out of context.  I only responded to you once, and when I did, I quoted your entire post.  I just went back to re-read it all to see where I took you out of context.  But you were the one rephrasing the argument as an all-or-nothing concept.  That I must obviously be putting her above everything else, when in fact my very point was that I compromise, and that it's worth it.

Oh and while I was searching to see if I had misquoted, I found a post from you that I had missed earlier:

quo vadimus: Posted from the highest porn-consuming state in the nation.

Which means that the first thing you did was click on my profile and try to bring up something personal about me.  Like I said man, you're being farking weird.  Knock it off.
 
m00
2014-02-08 05:51:34 PM

Fafai: Occam's Nailfile: Fafai: We already agreed it would be joint custody if it came down to that.

Didn't you also agree to all this stuff?

"to be my lawfully wedded(husband/wife), to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part."

I'm not saying I don't smell what you're cooking, I'm just saying, you wouldn't be the first husband going through a divorce to find out his wife has suddenly become Beelzebub.

She's tried pulling the marriage vow card and that doesn't work with me. I told her straight up love doesn't work that way. You don't promise to stay together once in front of everyone and then stop trying to please each other and then use the vows as a guilt trip to enable your lack of effort in fixing things.

People need to stand up for themselves and their interests. Knowing the marriage could dissolve at any moment keeps it on it's toes rather than resting on the lazy laurels of the 'wedding vows'. Knowing divorce is always an option keeps it interesting and keeps the desire high, because you feel like you're truly being 'chosen' each day. If it's a farking trap for life, where's the incentive to show them you want to keep them around?


So why did she stop wanting sex?
 
2014-02-08 05:51:57 PM
Specifically, if men did all of what the researchers characterized as feminine chores like folding laundry, cooking or vacuuming - the kinds of things many women say they want their husbands to do - then couples had sex 1.5 fewer times per month

Dammit.

I wish somebody had told me this today -BEFORE- I woke up at 4 in the morning to feed the cats, washed, dried, folded and put away four loads of laundry, cleaned the four-cat litterbox (including scrubbing up the vomit they left behind) and the cats' water-streaming thingy that fills up with whatever slimy repulsive crap they drop in it, took the kids out to buy a friend's birthday present, bought some new vacuum cleaner bags (yes, dear, the HEPA bags of course), made lunch and dinner for the kids, did two loads of dishes, polished the cooktop, vacuumed and scrubbed the floors until you could eat off them, and helped my daughter with her homework.

I'm not getting any until 2018, am I?
 
2014-02-08 05:55:03 PM

Gulper Eel: Specifically, if men did all of what the researchers characterized as feminine chores like folding laundry, cooking or vacuuming - the kinds of things many women say they want their husbands to do - then couples had sex 1.5 fewer times per month

Dammit.

I wish somebody had told me this today -BEFORE- I woke up at 4 in the morning to feed the cats, washed, dried, folded and put away four loads of laundry, cleaned the four-cat litterbox (including scrubbing up the vomit they left behind) and the cats' water-streaming thingy that fills up with whatever slimy repulsive crap they drop in it, took the kids out to buy a friend's birthday present, bought some new vacuum cleaner bags (yes, dear, the HEPA bags of course), made lunch and dinner for the kids, did two loads of dishes, polished the cooktop, vacuumed and scrubbed the floors until you could eat off them, and helped my daughter with her homework.

I'm not getting any until 2018, am I?


Not even then.
 
2014-02-08 05:56:11 PM

Occam's Nailfile: FunkOut: Funny how some people are like "Sexual desire is something immature stupid people feel. When you get older and wise, you realise how silly and meaningless sex is and you can rise above such a base fleshly desire."

Not what I'm saying.  I'm saying, as you get older (unless you're just an asshole), you'll realize that one of the certainties of marriage is that there will be periods - sometimes PAINFULLY long ones - where the bedroom cools off, and if you love your spouse, you'll weather it.


Yes, and in almost every single case I've heard (and definitely not from personal experience), for the **rest of their lives and marriage.**

I believe that's the issue some people of this thread are facing. There's painfully long dry spells, and then there's "don't worry, more sex sometime soon (aka - never! Haha!)" spells.
 
2014-02-08 05:56:45 PM

QU!RK1019: Bane of Broone: Wow. I feel sorry for you.

It took a while, but I knew there would be a response like this coming.

Here's the thing.  My wife and I have sex about once a week.  Not often enough for me, more often than she would prefer.  But I am madly in love with her, still after 10 years of marriage, I adore my children, and I love my life.  There's no way in hell I'm walking away from all that just so I can get more pussy.  Frequency of sex pales in comparison to everything else.


Dude, I've read the whole thread and I have to say you are where I was 10 years ago. And things are not OK.  Talk to your wife, have you wife talk to her doctor.  With us I am pretty sure it was the our choice of contraception.  I loved my wife, she loved me, but the sex was just not great.   Long story short, we changed some things up, she regained her sex drive and life is soooo much better. It was never bad enough for me to consider leaving, but knowing your wife just isn't that into the physical part can really take a toll.
 
2014-02-08 06:04:46 PM

m00: Fafai: Occam's Nailfile: Fafai: We already agreed it would be joint custody if it came down to that.

Didn't you also agree to all this stuff?

"to be my lawfully wedded(husband/wife), to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part."

I'm not saying I don't smell what you're cooking, I'm just saying, you wouldn't be the first husband going through a divorce to find out his wife has suddenly become Beelzebub.

She's tried pulling the marriage vow card and that doesn't work with me. I told her straight up love doesn't work that way. You don't promise to stay together once in front of everyone and then stop trying to please each other and then use the vows as a guilt trip to enable your lack of effort in fixing things.

People need to stand up for themselves and their interests. Knowing the marriage could dissolve at any moment keeps it on it's toes rather than resting on the lazy laurels of the 'wedding vows'. Knowing divorce is always an option keeps it interesting and keeps the desire high, because you feel like you're truly being 'chosen' each day. If it's a farking trap for life, where's the incentive to show them you want to keep them around?

So why did she stop wanting sex?


Well it all happened after she gave birth to our firstborn, which I hear is quite common. But in taking the steps to fix things I learned that, without realizing it, I was treating the marriage like a trap, like she was mine no matter what, and I stopped appreciating and valuing her in the non-sexual ways that she needed (guys think they do this when they say 'I love you' everyday and give hugs and stuff but it's more complex than that). I fixed my part in itfirst and then she began to come around.

Men should understand that women don`t always just cut off sex after marriage because she has the guy "trapped" so there's no need to fark him anymore--they actually lose their desire for sex because they start being taken for granted and have no real reason to want sex. Once a man can get his head around the concept of needing a 'reason' or some 'context' for sex, things will start to go a lot more smoothly.
 
2014-02-08 06:09:53 PM

Fafai: Once a man can get his head around the concept of needing a 'reason' or some 'context' for sex, things will start to go a lot more smoothly.


Just wanted to add that this isn't indefinite. You start giving 'reasons' to put her in the mood and then, hopefully, as it did with us, you'll reach a tipping point where she's fully on board and the whole thing just snowballs into the kinkiest, craziest sex at every opportunity you can manage, no reasons needed. It's just concocting reasons to get over the hump, it's not like that forever.
 
2014-02-08 06:11:15 PM
There are two masculine roles that are always present within a woman's life - the payer and the player.

The only anomaly is that at the beginning a new relationship, a single man can perform both roles.

/misogynist
//don't need "saving" so save your breath.
 
2014-02-08 06:13:36 PM

Archae hippy: Dude, I've read the whole thread and I have to say you are where I was 10 years ago. And things are not OK.  Talk to your wife, have you wife talk to her doctor.  With us I am pretty sure it was the our choice of contraception.  I loved my wife, she loved me, but the sex was just not great.   Long story short, we changed some things up, she regained her sex drive and life is soooo much better. It was never bad enough for me to consider leaving, but knowing your wife just isn't that into the physical part can really take a toll.


Thanks for the advice, bro.  We actually are always looking at reasons for her low libido.  However, the sex, while maybe infrequent, is still great.

The main point I'm making here is that too many men have been using decreased sex as grounds for a divorce.  Really, they just want to run away from their problems, and they find receptive company when they justify it with sex.  It also washes their hands of any guilt in the break up.  "Everything was fine, she just stopped giving it up, so I had to do what was best for me."
 
2014-02-08 06:17:54 PM
Utter claptrap.

I do an equal share of housework. I get laid WAY more now than in my last marriage where I was basically forbidden to do housework because I "did it wrong."

Some women just don't like sex. Some MEN just don't get into sex. Find the person that "clicks" with you, treat them right, and everything will be hunky dory.
 
2014-02-08 06:19:56 PM

QU!RK1019: The main point I'm making here is that too many men have been using decreased sex as grounds for a divorce. Really, they just want to run away from their problems, and they find receptive company when they justify it with sex. It also washes their hands of any guilt in the break up. "Everything was fine, she just stopped giving it up, so I had to do what was best for me."


I doubt that. I think most guys are smart enough to try their best before leaving. They know they're more likely to get regular sex from someone familiar they know and love and who they used to have regular sex with, rather than dealing with being single and competing in that market. I think it's safe to assume if they're considering divorce they've already tried other avenues first and have convinced themselves there's no other option (whether they were doing it effectively and understanding why they were doing it is another story).
 
2014-02-08 06:20:19 PM

zzrhardy: There are two masculine roles that are always present within a woman's life - the payer and the player.

The only anomaly is that at the beginning a new relationship, a single man can perform both roles.

/misogynist
//don't need "saving" so save your breath.


And since I'm not American I have no idea what you're even talking about. Sounds like terms from some kind of rap music.
 
2014-02-08 06:21:35 PM

ZeroCorpse: Utter claptrap.

I do an equal share of housework. I get laid WAY more now than in my last marriage where I was basically forbidden to do housework because I "did it wrong."

Some women just don't like sex. Some MEN just don't get into sex. Find the person that "clicks" with you, treat them right, and everything will be hunky dory.


blog.zap2it.com
 
2014-02-08 06:24:59 PM

namatad: TL;DR: Married women don't want to have sex with their husbands

TADA
If your wife wont fark you, tell her you are getting sex elsewhere.
If she has a problem with this, divorce her.
TADA


./seriously, why is anyone in a sexless, unhappy marriage these days? the kids? WAY TO fark up your children. "Marriage should be unhappy, just like us!!"


Why would i encourage my kids to get married in the first place?  Believe me.. it will be the absolute last thing I endorse.  Marriage sucks period and yes, I'm sticking it out until the kids are legal.
 
2014-02-08 06:25:06 PM

Fafai: I doubt that. I think most guys are smart enough to try their best before leaving. They know they're more likely to get regular sex from someone familiar they know and love and who they used to have regular sex with, rather than dealing with being single and competing in that market. I think it's safe to assume if they're considering divorce they've already tried other avenues first and have convinced themselves there's no other option (whether they were doing it effectively and understanding why they were doing it is another story).


You could be right about most guys. But not all, unfortunately. It's those men in particular I direct my frustration with.
 
2014-02-08 06:29:37 PM
If sex isn't important, have a friend become a roommate and marry them.
 
2014-02-08 06:32:43 PM

baconbeard: Terminal Accessory: Happily married man of 5 years and having sex at least twice a week, even with a newborn.

You sick, sick bastard.


Ha! Nicely done.
 
2014-02-08 06:34:48 PM

VespaGuy: After a single year of not just a sexless marriage, but one with zero intimacy at all from her side, I sat her down and explained that I refused to live this way for the rest of my life and I asked her what - if anything - I could do to fix things (things that were apparently always broken)
She mostly shrugged and then used my offer as a way to get me to do laundry and cleaning.
I called her bluff and took over chores. You know what happened? Nothing. Her libido stayed exactly where it was.
So I asked her for a divorce and got the Hell out of there just shy of our two year anniversary.


I think this is an explanation of what the study found.  The fundamental issue is libido but she blames it on his supposed non-help around the house.  Thus those who are taking on the feminine tasks around the house are likely doing so because there were already sexual issues.

Of course it does nothing about the underlying problem--and presto, we have the guys who help more around the house getting less sex.

Kid Lester: But this is friggin nonsense. EVERY MAN I know, biatching about not getting pussy, treats his wife like a possession. Flat out. These are the same motherfarkers who went through the whole "is she pretty enough to impress my friends" ordeal when they were making the marriage decision.


Or maybe those who respect their wife don't air their dirty laundry in public.
 
2014-02-08 06:35:02 PM

Peepeye: Terminal Accessory: Peepeye: I'm a female who is engaged. All these comments are freaking me out a bit. The very few times I've turned him down are when he wakes me up for a morning quickie, although I usually don't mind. And if I wake him up at night....he's always willing. We work a lot. Lack of time is our issue.

Happily married man of 5 years and having sex at least twice a week, even with a newborn.  (After the healing process, of course)

We just make it a point to stay frisky.   Lots of compliments, innuendo, the occasional grope on the flyby, just to remind each other that we find them other sexy.

About once a month one or the other of us "plans" a sexy night with added romance and foreplay.   The rest of the time we just sort of pounce each other.

We do make sure to take into account how the other is feeling before initiating it, but I love when my wife starts it all.  Sexy as hell.

She keeps some nice lingerie and heels around, I've got some silk boxers she likes on me, it's not THAT difficult.

If you find them attractive, you should want to have sex with them, and you should tell them that often.

If you don't want to have sex with them, there's a problem.

I think one key is be able to forget all that other crap for a while, and just concentrate on having sex with the person you love and desire.   Leave work, and in-laws, and bills, and all that other junk at the bedroom door.

Sounds like you have a great marriage. Congrats on the newborn.

I'm not too worried. We are very affectionate. We have plenty of sex. I just said the few times I have turned him down was when I was in the middle of a deep sleep. I'm not in the habit of turning him down. I hope a baby doesn't change things....as we plan to start trying next year. The act of trying will be fun as hell though.


Been awesome so far!

And yes, baby making is a lot of fun once the "oh my god, we just used no protection at all!" moment of panic passes.

Best of luck, it's gonna be great!
 
2014-02-08 06:42:42 PM

HotIgneous Intruder: tylerdurden217: No sex is a legitimate reason for divorce.

There are people who think this.
They also think they can't live without sex.

They are wrong.


For a marriage to work, initmacy is one of the big four, the other three being children, finances, and religion. Agree on these four and you're pretty well set. Disagree, and they are very difficult -- if not impossible -- to compromise on.
 
2014-02-08 06:45:10 PM

QU!RK1019: The main point I'm making here is that too many men have been using decreased sex as grounds for a divorce. Really, they just want to run away from their problems, and they find receptive company when they justify it with sex. It also washes their hands of any guilt in the break up. "Everything was fine, she just stopped giving it up, so I had to do what was best for me."


I don't think it's so much decreased sex as an unwillingness to try to solve the problem.
 
2014-02-08 06:55:00 PM

TanHamster: Do your own oil changes, and take that $50 you're saving and treat your spouse to a nice dinner.


Uh huh.  Here we go again.  Now what about that dirty oil... need to bring it to a disposal station, possibly pay a fee for disposing it - it depends.  Then, what about if you get oil on yourself, dirty clothes - throw those in the laundry, that takes an hour to do or little bit more.

You see, sometimes I'd much rather pay someone else that extra $30 and not have to worry about anything later.
 
2014-02-08 07:01:03 PM

FirstNationalBastard: QU!RK1019: namatad: TL;DR: Married women don't want to have sex with their husbands

TADA
If your wife wont fark you, tell her you are getting sex elsewhere.
If she has a problem with this, divorce her.
TADA


./seriously, why is anyone in a sexless, unhappy marriage these days? the kids? WAY TO fark up your children. "Marriage should be unhappy, just like us!!"

Or, gee, you could suck it up and realize there are things more important in life than getting your rocks off.

No, not really. Everything else that's so important is just a way to get laid.


Or maybe your children are more important and when you turn to get a divorce because your not getting enough sex, but everything else is fine,  you realize that screwing your kids up and taking yourself out of their lives for a considerable amount of time is actually not worth it and sex isn't as important as you think.

Ok on topic.   Maybe just maybe women don't want sex as much as men period.  All this housework,  sharing is just bullshiat and maybe women who don't work have more out of submissiveness in that they are more reliant on their husbands.

Maybe men who are taking on equal roles with women are now feeling how tired women feel.   Now both working,  both doing all the housework and yard work and both attending to all the emotional wants and needs of all the family members, close and distant.   Yes and women worked int he past.  housework was a lot harder,  they also tended gardens many worked in factories such as clothing mills,  many worked as servants.   The idea that women stayed at home doing nothing only ever occurred in the higher levels of society.
 
2014-02-08 07:01:32 PM

QU!RK1019: namatad: TL;DR: Married women don't want to have sex with their husbands

TADA
If your wife wont fark you, tell her you are getting sex elsewhere.
If she has a problem with this, divorce her.
TADA


./seriously, why is anyone in a sexless, unhappy marriage these days? the kids? WAY TO fark up your children. "Marriage should be unhappy, just like us!!"

Or, gee, you could suck it up and realize there are things more important in life than getting your rocks off.


www.rottenecards.com
 
2014-02-08 07:04:09 PM

BolshyGreatYarblocks: QU!RK1019: namatad: TL;DR: Married women don't want to have sex with their husbands

TADA
If your wife wont fark you, tell her you are getting sex elsewhere.
If she has a problem with this, divorce her.
TADA


./seriously, why is anyone in a sexless, unhappy marriage these days? the kids? WAY TO fark up your children. "Marriage should be unhappy, just like us!!"

Or, gee, you could suck it up and realize there are things more important in life than getting your rocks off.

[www.rottenecards.com image 420x294]


You don't know many gay men, do you?
 
2014-02-08 07:07:08 PM

Hermione_Granger: Dear Men,

Stop listening to shiat like this written by some guy who hasn't seen pussy since he crawled out of one.

Look, If you shag your wife on the regular, you will find that she does all the housework and will shut the fark up about it. Women need dick like plants need rain. Don't shag your wife and she will biatch about everything else. But it's really the lack of dick she's pissed about.

She doesn't just need dick. She needs seduction and romance. She needs a sexy smack on the ass now and again and occasionally, a fark just because.

fark your wife. fark her hard, fark her often. It's not that women don't want sex. They just don't want your lazy, tired imitating porn sex that you think she wants. Lick her, spank her, pull her hair. fark the shiat out of her at least every two or three days.

She will do the housework because she'll be happy. You may even get steak.

Now. Ask me how I know?

Remarried and farking happy, that's why. Good dick and a lot of it, makes me a lot less biatchy. Just saying.

It's not feminist. It's not politically correct. It's just farking true.

Go shag your wife.



My husband asks me why I always make him do the pursuing.  Well I will tell why.  because when he has to chase and he does so he really wants it and when he really wants it.   HIS DICK IS farkING HARDER AND THE SEX IS farkING BETTER.

there I said it.
 
2014-02-08 07:07:53 PM
Marriage just wears me out.
 
2014-02-08 07:13:23 PM

FunkOut: Occam's Nailfile: FunkOut: Funny how some people are like "Sexual desire is something immature stupid people feel. When you get older and wise, you realise how silly and meaningless sex is and you can rise above such a base fleshly desire."

Not what I'm saying.  I'm saying, as you get older (unless you're just an asshole), you'll realize that one of the certainties of marriage is that there will be periods - sometimes PAINFULLY long ones - where the bedroom cools off, and if you love your spouse, you'll weather it.

Still sounds like "Sex isn't important. Get over the other person not being interested in you. Become their roommate."


The best part is that after you wait a little bit.. and then keep on waiting like Occam wants, for the day to come when the switch is flipped... you end up
bing 15 -20 years of paying for everything while she is banging the mailman every other day and the UPS man every other Thursday (and you thought she was running an eBay business..ha!)

then.. you finally give up and get the divorce and all your patience is rewarded with "Bo hooooo I gave so many years of my life.. the BEST ONES.. and now I have nothing, and then
you get to pay her alimony for another 10-15 years"  It's a tough economy, don't you know?!
 
2014-02-08 07:25:55 PM

QU!RK1019: Carousel Beast: You;re either trolling or stupid, which is it?

Or do you support being in uncommunicative marriages, too?

Well, I'm fantastically intelligent, so I guess I must be trolling.  I don't know where you're getting that, but ok.


I'll use small words, just for you.

If I decide not to meet my wife's need for communication, and therefore go months without talking to her, would you similarly insult her if she decided to complain that I wasn't meeting her needs in the relationship?

Physical intimacy isn't optional, stupid, or juvenile. It's a necessary component of a healthy, monogamous relationship. Kind of like talking to one another.
 
2014-02-08 07:26:36 PM
As a married man who hasn't had sex in 17 months, I can vouch for this stance of housewives.
 
2014-02-08 07:30:45 PM

Carousel Beast: QU!RK1019: Carousel Beast: You;re either trolling or stupid, which is it?

Or do you support being in uncommunicative marriages, too?

Well, I'm fantastically intelligent, so I guess I must be trolling.  I don't know where you're getting that, but ok.

I'll use small words, just for you.

If I decide not to meet my wife's need for communication, and therefore go months without talking to her, would you similarly insult her if she decided to complain that I wasn't meeting her needs in the relationship?

Physical intimacy isn't optional, stupid, or juvenile. It's a necessary component of a healthy, monogamous relationship. Kind of like talking to one another.


Ohhh, right, I totally didn't get that you were creating a strawman argument and attributing it to me.  Very well, carry on.
 
2014-02-08 08:33:53 PM
These findings came as a shock to anyone who has never been married.

"If you would just help more with the housework, I'd feel more like having sex"

Doesn't sound like a bullshiat line at all.
 
2014-02-08 08:52:09 PM

sharphead: TanHamster: Do your own oil changes, and take that $50 you're saving and treat your spouse to a nice dinner.

Uh huh.  Here we go again.  Now what about that dirty oil... need to bring it to a disposal station, possibly pay a fee for disposing it - it depends.  Then, what about if you get oil on yourself, dirty clothes - throw those in the laundry, that takes an hour to do or little bit more.

You see, sometimes I'd much rather pay someone else that extra $30 and not have to worry about anything later.



You know how I know you don't do your own oil changes?

(Answer: AutoZone & Advance Auto Parts will accept used engine oil, transmission fluid, brake fluid, batteries... pretty much anything they'll sell you as a new item, they'll take off your hands when it's used up.)
 
2014-02-08 08:58:04 PM
She believes that lesbian and heterosexual couples share sexual challenges because both relationships involve women

Sounds about right.
 
2014-02-08 08:59:06 PM

Prank Monkey: TanHamster: FTA: "masculine chores, like ... fixing the car"


Slightly off topic...  I'm an engineer at a large company (about 3000 employees at this site) and I would expect engineers to have the competence to tackle auto repairs.  Nope.  I'm the only man I know who even does his own oil changes.  I've never had my car to a garage for anything other than an inspection, and I'm by no means a master mechanic.  Fixing cars is not particularly difficult if you have the right tools.  My observation is that lots of men are pretty helpless when it comes to fixing the car.

LOL at the people who pay a dealer $75+ for a synthetic oil change.  AutoZone synthetic is $20/jug, and Amazon has Fram filters for $3 when you subscribe-and-save.  Do your own oil changes, and take that $50 you're saving and treat your spouse to a nice dinner.

Also slightly off topic. I am an engineer too. For a car manufacturer. Do you know how many engineers we employ who are great at what they do in a limited scope but don't know shiat about cars? It's terrifying. This part doesn't meet spec. They get that but they don't understand how that makes the car not run. Yeesh



What I find interesting/scary are the amount of EEs who don't know the first thing about wiring a house.  Hot? Neutral? White? Black? What???  Where I work, we have an enormous department of EEs who design single board computers and other specialized processor cards, and I know of maybe one guy who knows anything about household wiring.  And that's only because he does Habitat for Humanity.

I understand that EE != electrician, but c'mon.
 
2014-02-08 09:01:55 PM

Fafai: This thread is making me feel a lot better about being married. It isn't for everyone and I have to get used to the idea of marriage and monogamy in general becoming less popular and that could be a good thing overall without necessarily reflecting on my own relationship but for certain personality types monogamy is the best path to having crazy, kinky, boundary-pushing sex. My marriage is very much a sexual arrangement as much as anything and if sex is important to people they should be upfront and honest with their partners about it and stand up for themselves by refusing to settle for less. There is absolutely nothing wrong with placing a high priority on increasingly good sex and holding your partner accountable for their end of it.


gifrific.com
 
2014-02-08 09:10:31 PM

TanHamster: sharphead: TanHamster: Do your own oil changes, and take that $50 you're saving and treat your spouse to a nice dinner.

Uh huh.  Here we go again.  Now what about that dirty oil... need to bring it to a disposal station, possibly pay a fee for disposing it - it depends.  Then, what about if you get oil on yourself, dirty clothes - throw those in the laundry, that takes an hour to do or little bit more.

You see, sometimes I'd much rather pay someone else that extra $30 and not have to worry about anything later.


You know how I know you don't do your own oil changes?

(Answer: AutoZone & Advance Auto Parts will accept used engine oil, transmission fluid, brake fluid, batteries... pretty much anything they'll sell you as a new item, they'll take off your hands when it's used up.)



And they will buy the core of the parts back, refurbish them and sale them again.
 
2014-02-08 10:45:11 PM

Guest: Hermione_Granger: Dear Men,

Stop listening to shiat like this written by some guy who hasn't seen pussy since he crawled out of one.

Look, If you shag your wife on the regular, you will find that she does all the housework and will shut the fark up about it. Women need dick like plants need rain. Don't shag your wife and she will biatch about everything else. But it's really the lack of dick she's pissed about.

She doesn't just need dick. She needs seduction and romance. She needs a sexy smack on the ass now and again and occasionally, a fark just because.

fark your wife. fark her hard, fark her often. It's not that women don't want sex. They just don't want your lazy, tired imitating porn sex that you think she wants. Lick her, spank her, pull her hair. fark the shiat out of her at least every two or three days.

She will do the housework because she'll be happy. You may even get steak.

Now. Ask me how I know?

Remarried and farking happy, that's why. Good dick and a lot of it, makes me a lot less biatchy. Just saying.

It's not feminist. It's not politically correct. It's just farking true.

Go shag your wife.


My husband asks me why I always make him do the pursuing.  Well I will tell why.  because when he has to chase and he does so he really wants it and when he really wants it.   HIS DICK IS farkING HARDER AND THE SEX IS farkING BETTER.

there I said it.


Enjoy your inevitable divorce. I am going to hope for your sake that this is not exclusively how you handle sex in your marriage. If it is a obstacle course every time your husband wants sex, then you are doing it wrong and I pity him.
 
2014-02-08 11:05:32 PM

Egalitarian: Also like to point out, there are so many guys out there who can't stand it when their woman tries to initiate sex ... it has to be completely on the man's schedule and terms. Woman acts horny at anything but the appointed time? OH NOEZ SCARY!!! GET AWAY!


I bet you still believe in Santa too.
 
2014-02-08 11:24:25 PM
FTFA:  (wife is talking about what turns her on about hubby)
"It's when you're just back from the gym and you're all sweaty and you take off your clothes to get in the shower and I see your muscles."
Her husband countered by saying that this very situation had occurred that morning but that his wife became irritated when he tossed his clothes on the floor...

Threw clothes on the floor.. and then wonders why his wife got irritated?  What a genius.

Would he be irritated if she dropped tools onto the garage floor instead of putting them on the workbench?
 
2014-02-08 11:34:12 PM
Marriage sounds like just so much fun!
 
2014-02-08 11:35:08 PM

nanim: FTFA:  (wife is talking about what turns her on about hubby)
"It's when you're just back from the gym and you're all sweaty and you take off your clothes to get in the shower and I see your muscles."
Her husband countered by saying that this very situation had occurred that morning but that his wife became irritated when he tossed his clothes on the floor...

Threw clothes on the floor.. and then wonders why his wife got irritated?  What a genius.

Would he be irritated if she dropped tools onto the garage floor instead of putting them on the workbench?


Counter-point, if my wife managed to figure out where on the organized peg-board the primary hand-tools are stored, or the workbench back-up and specialty items are kept I'd crap myself. My wife is great, but women are not tool users, never have been.

I've tried, she's terrified of the table saw, band saw, drill press, planer, jointer, mortiser, and eyes my bench planes with suspicion.
 
2014-02-09 12:25:31 AM
I personally think it's more of a personality/attraction thing. I think that often times the personality you are attracted to lacks the libido.

I know for me in the past there have been several woman that I had an awesome sexual chemistry with yet bored/irritated me or were just plain crazy. We banged all the time yet there was no way I was going to have kids with them.

However, I do agree with several of the posters, that if you are using sex as a weapon of manipulation in a relationship, don't be surprised if he's stepping out on you later.
 
2014-02-09 12:37:57 AM

NathanAllen: I've tried, she's terrified of the table saw, band saw, drill press, planer, jointer, mortiser, and eyes my bench planes with suspicion.


I'm a bit terrified of table saws. You know how when using a tool when things go sideways and you see everything in slow motion? Table saws aren't like that it's just *bam* you got no thumb. Few people use them 100% safely.

A drill press can catch your hair or a shirt sleeve. Otherwise it'll mostly just chew on fingers if you fark up.
Planner, good for removing large swathes of skin.
Jointer, ditto.
Mortiser good for getting your injury posted on 4chan.
Blanch Planes... err nicked my finger on one once.
 
2014-02-09 12:49:38 AM

Kid Lester: I've been married twice. First wife, monogamous dating 4 years, married for 5 = 9 years. Current wife monogamous dating 3 years, married for 6 = 9 years.

I'm gonna be 44 years old next month. I'm a decent looking guy, packing somewhere around the national average, depending on the stimuli.

Oh yeah, I've got one child with the ex wife, 2 pre-schoolers with my wife.

I TOTALLY understand the reasons for the dropoff in sex after you get married. Believe me. These precious snowflake bastards will suck the life outta you faster than you can say Jack Robinson.

But this is friggin nonsense. EVERY MAN I know, biatching about not getting pussy, treats his wife like a possession. Flat out. These are the same motherfarkers who went through the whole "is she pretty enough to impress my friends" ordeal when they were making the marriage decision.

18 years and I've never, not one time, asked for a blow job. Yet they are plentiful. It's kind of amazing what happens when you treat your partner like an equal, you treat your duties to your family and the work required to keep a house in shape equally, you have some semblance of dick control and know what things will bring your woman off - and do them with a passion-, and making it so that f*cking you isn't more trouble than it's worth.

Nobody is going to f*ck you because you deserve it. NO. BAH. DEE. No one. Not a single person on the face of this planet. Nobody in the whole goddamned universe. If you are not fun in the sack, you ain't getting any. It truly is this simple.

"Oh yeah yeah yeah. Not mine. She's just a farking coont. Nobody could please this biatch."

She got that expectation from someone.


Your wife is probably fat, that is why. You don;t sound like a man, would never get yummies from a chick in demand.
 
2014-02-09 03:14:48 AM

QU!RK1019: No, it's not an all or nothing predicament. I like Thai food, she doesn't care for it. Is that important enough to divorce her over? Conversely, should we never go to a Thai restaurant ever again? Or... sheesh, maybe we could try to compromise.


You can go for Thai food anytime you want with anyone you want.  Not exactly a fair comparison.
 
2014-02-09 04:44:47 AM

Bucky Katt: Marriage sounds like just so much fun!


They want you to be miserable with them.

Sex is like any one of our other senses and relationships are the external stimuli.

Imagine smelling the samething everyday would you not become immune to it? Imagine eating and tasting the same meal everyday? Imagine only being able to watch one thing for the rest of your life!

Marriage is the samething as buying in bulk. Would any sane person go into a wholesale club and buy enough TV dinners to last them the rest of their life because they decided they weren't going to eat out anymore? NO!!!!

pcavote.files.wordpress.com
//I rest my case.
//did i do good?
 
2014-02-09 05:45:40 AM

Bucky Katt: Marriage sounds like just so much fun!


Honestly all human relationships are complicated. We live in a world that created the likes of Bill O'Reilly and Al Sharpton and threw them on the same planet together. At the same time. The Almighty FSM has a sense of humor if nothing else.

How any of us ever get around to farking at all is a miracle. How we ever pair down all the complexity that makes us up as humans to build lives, homes and rear children is amazing when you think about it.

It can be fun. It can be wonderful. But we have yet to build a world where all types of relationships, families and ways of living are not just "tolerated" but supported. And where people are really given the tools and helps they need to nurture these relationships - not just keep them on life support.
 
2014-02-09 06:59:12 AM

Hermione_Granger: Bucky Katt: Marriage sounds like just so much fun!

Honestly all human relationships are complicated. We live in a world that created the likes of Bill O'Reilly and Al Sharpton and threw them on the same planet together. At the same time. The Almighty FSM has a sense of humor if nothing else.

How any of us ever get around to farking at all is a miracle. How we ever pair down all the complexity that makes us up as humans to build lives, homes and rear children is amazing when you think about it.

It can be fun. It can be wonderful. But we have yet to build a world where all types of relationships, families and ways of living are not just "tolerated" but supported. And where people are really given the tools and helps they need to nurture these relationships - not just keep them on life support.


Wait a second here. Everyone smart'd your 'men, fark your wives' post because it's what they want to hear, but it's not smart at all. It's terrible advice. Most of these guys' problems are that they can't figure out how to get their wives to fark them, and your huge epiphany is that they should fark them? Yeah I'm pretty sure they've already thought of that and tried it like a bunch of times, which goes with what I bolded above. ...You think it's a miracle huh? Give your man some credit. And be prepared in the future for the possibility of being asked to show that same initiative and investment in getting laid if you want to keep that sex up.
 
2014-02-09 10:47:00 AM

Hermione_Granger: Dear Men,

Stop listening to shiat like this written by some guy who hasn't seen pussy since he crawled out of one.

Look, If you shag your wife on the regular, you will find that she does all the housework and will shut the fark up about it. Women need dick like plants need rain. Don't shag your wife and she will biatch about everything else. But it's really the lack of dick she's pissed about.

She doesn't just need dick. She needs seduction and romance. She needs a sexy smack on the ass now and again and occasionally, a fark just because.

fark your wife. fark her hard, fark her often. It's not that women don't want sex. They just don't want your lazy, tired imitating porn sex that you think she wants. Lick her, spank her, pull her hair. fark the shiat out of her at least every two or three days.

She will do the housework because she'll be happy. You may even get steak.

Now. Ask me how I know?

Remarried and farking happy, that's why. Good dick and a lot of it, makes me a lot less biatchy. Just saying.

It's not feminist. It's not politically correct. It's just farking true.

Go shag your wife.


Words of mother-farking (or wife-farking) truth.
 
2014-02-09 12:30:40 PM

Hermione_Granger: Dear Men,

Stop listening to shiat like this written by some guy who hasn't seen pussy since he crawled out of one.

Look, If you shag your wife on the regular, you will find that she does all the housework and will shut the fark up about it. Women need dick like plants need rain. Don't shag your wife and she will biatch about everything else. But it's really the lack of dick she's pissed about.

She doesn't just need dick. She needs seduction and romance. She needs a sexy smack on the ass now and again and occasionally, a fark just because.

fark your wife. fark her hard, fark her often. It's not that women don't want sex. They just don't want your lazy, tired imitating porn sex that you think she wants. Lick her, spank her, pull her hair. fark the shiat out of her at least every two or three days.

She will do the housework because she'll be happy. You may even get steak.

Now. Ask me how I know?

Remarried and farking happy, that's why. Good dick and a lot of it, makes me a lot less biatchy. Just saying.

It's not feminist. It's not politically correct. It's just farking true.

Go shag your wife.


That was viable before she decided to put on the extra 60 pounds and felt that relentless belching was OK ...
 
2014-02-09 01:15:27 PM
Thank you  Fafai.
 
2014-02-09 01:22:20 PM
One thing that is available to couples where the man may have a higher drive than the woman--if he's man enough to try this out--is the selection of male chastity devices out there (google at your own risk). Just lock your dick up in a cage and give her the key. It may sound laughable but it seems more and more couples are getting into this. People claim that it makes men hornier while 'calming' them down at the same time and making them more sensitive and attentive all around. Both psychologically and physically it can be really erotic.

Uh. Just sayin. Might be up some people's alley. Guys really seem to enjoy it even if they try it out reluctantly at first.
 
2014-02-09 01:23:02 PM

spacelord321: Thank you  Fafai.


Uh. You're welcome (?).
 
2014-02-09 01:26:07 PM

Fafai: BolshyGreatYarblocks: QU!RK1019: namatad: TL;DR: Married women don't want to have sex with their husbands

TADA
If your wife wont fark you, tell her you are getting sex elsewhere.
If she has a problem with this, divorce her.
TADA


./seriously, why is anyone in a sexless, unhappy marriage these days? the kids? WAY TO fark up your children. "Marriage should be unhappy, just like us!!"

Or, gee, you could suck it up and realize there are things more important in life than getting your rocks off.

[www.rottenecards.com image 420x294]

You don't know many gay men, do you?


Closeted ones, no.
 
2014-02-09 01:38:19 PM

Fafai: spacelord321: Thank you  Fafai.

Uh. You're welcome (?).


For pointing out how wizard girl missed the point.
 
2014-02-09 02:08:49 PM

Hermione_Granger: Dear Men,

Stop listening to shiat like this written by some guy who hasn't seen pussy since he crawled out of one.

Look, If you shag your wife on the regular, you will find that she does all the housework and will shut the fark up about it. Women need dick like plants need rain. Don't shag your wife and she will biatch about everything else. But it's really the lack of dick she's pissed about.

She doesn't just need dick. She needs seduction and romance. She needs a sexy smack on the ass now and again and occasionally, a fark just because.

fark your wife. fark her hard, fark her often. It's not that women don't want sex. They just don't want your lazy, tired imitating porn sex that you think she wants. Lick her, spank her, pull her hair. fark the shiat out of her at least every two or three days.

She will do the housework because she'll be happy. You may even get steak.

Now. Ask me how I know?

Remarried and farking happy, that's why. Good dick and a lot of it, makes me a lot less biatchy. Just saying.

It's not feminist. It's not politically correct. It's just farking true.

Go shag your wife.


How is Harry these days?
 
2014-02-09 03:54:57 PM
Having read the entire article, I noticed the entire article was focused on what men are doing to make their wives happy.  I didn't see any evidence that indicated wives were attempting or should attempt to make her husbands happy.  Perhaps this is a problem.
 
2014-02-09 04:02:22 PM

mentallo69: I just had a baby. I dont think Im ever getting laid again


Depends how much the baby sleeps and when.
 
2014-02-09 04:28:12 PM
This has been an amazingly civil thread.  Who woulda thunk?
 
2014-02-09 04:50:51 PM

Blink: I didn't see any evidence that indicated wives were attempting or should attempt to make her husbands happy.  Perhaps this is a problem.


Nah. The New York Times knows their target demographic.
 
2014-02-09 04:52:24 PM

TanHamster: Prank Monkey: TanHamster: FTA: "masculine chores, like ... fixing the car"


Slightly off topic...  I'm an engineer at a large company (about 3000 employees at this site) and I would expect engineers to have the competence to tackle auto repairs.  Nope.  I'm the only man I know who even does his own oil changes.  I've never had my car to a garage for anything other than an inspection, and I'm by no means a master mechanic.  Fixing cars is not particularly difficult if you have the right tools.  My observation is that lots of men are pretty helpless when it comes to fixing the car.

LOL at the people who pay a dealer $75+ for a synthetic oil change.  AutoZone synthetic is $20/jug, and Amazon has Fram filters for $3 when you subscribe-and-save.  Do your own oil changes, and take that $50 you're saving and treat your spouse to a nice dinner.

Also slightly off topic. I am an engineer too. For a car manufacturer. Do you know how many engineers we employ who are great at what they do in a limited scope but don't know shiat about cars? It's terrifying. This part doesn't meet spec. They get that but they don't understand how that makes the car not run. Yeesh


What I find interesting/scary are the amount of EEs who don't know the first thing about wiring a house.  Hot? Neutral? White? Black? What???  Where I work, we have an enormous department of EEs who design single board computers and other specialized processor cards, and I know of maybe one guy who knows anything about household wiring.  And that's only because he does Habitat for Humanity.

I understand that EE != electrician, but c'mon.


It's astonishing the amount of EE curriculums that do not cover power systems. An EE degree isn't what it used to be, apparently.
 
2014-02-09 05:17:18 PM

Bucky Katt: Marriage sounds like just so much fun!


If the only reason you get married is to get sex, it might be best not to get married and just set up an account at the local brothel instead.

Women's libidos do not always stay at the same level through out their lives, which is perfectly normal. It happens a lot. If sex is the only reason you want to be with your woman, then it is quite likely you will be unhappy at some point.

And if you cannot think of any other reason at all to be in a relationship, make it clear from the outset, and hope you find a woman who is interested in taking on the equivalent a life support unit for a penis. One that needs to have meals cooked, and have laundry done, and be cleaned up after and ... well generally it's a lot simpler from the woman's perspective to just get a vibrator.

Yes sex is an important part of a relationship, but it is still only a part and not the whole deal.

peacheslatour: This has been an amazingly civil thread.  Who woulda thunk?


That should stir things up a bit, do you think?
 
2014-02-09 05:21:12 PM

Nidiot: Bucky Katt: Marriage sounds like just so much fun!

If the only reason you get married is to get sex, it might be best not to get married and just set up an account at the local brothel instead.

Women's libidos do not always stay at the same level through out their lives, which is perfectly normal. It happens a lot. If sex is the only reason you want to be with your woman, then it is quite likely you will be unhappy at some point.

And if you cannot think of any other reason at all to be in a relationship, make it clear from the outset, and hope you find a woman who is interested in taking on the equivalent a life support unit for a penis. One that needs to have meals cooked, and have laundry done, and be cleaned up after and ... well generally it's a lot simpler from the woman's perspective to just get a vibrator.

Yes sex is an important part of a relationship, but it is still only a part and not the whole deal.

peacheslatour: This has been an amazingly civil thread.  Who woulda thunk?

That should stir things up a bit, do you think?


I don't know.  It's pretty sensible and the usual fark woman haters have been surprisingly scarce in here. Let's wait and see.
 
2014-02-09 06:17:30 PM
FTFA:   "..We all want to be objectified by the person we love at times. We all want to be with somebody who can flip the switch and see you as an object for an hour."

Er...speak for yourself Dan Savage, and maybe for a lot of people, but personally, no I do not want to be treated as an object for an hour. What's with the statement that assumes absolutely everybody wants the same thing? I expected better from Mr Savage.

Blink: Having read the entire article, I noticed the entire article was focused on what men are doing to make their wives happy.  I didn't see any evidence that indicated wives were attempting or should attempt to make her husbands happy.  Perhaps this is a problem.


There is attempting to make your wife happy, and there is attempting to get laid. They are two different things, and women can tell the difference. Same as the Mr Nice Guy who complains that after he did all the listening and being a shoulder to cry on etc the girl still wont sleep with him. That's more passive aggressive than it is nice.
 
2014-02-09 06:43:43 PM

cards fan by association: mentallo69: I just had a baby. I dont think Im ever getting laid again

Depends how much the baby sleeps and when.


Or how big the baby was.
 
Displayed 267 of 267 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report