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(The New York Times)   Women don't want to have sex with husbands who do their share of the housework. Of course, they don't want to have sex with insensitive husbands who don't do any housework. TL;DR: Married women don't want to have sex with their husbands   (nytimes.com) divider line 267
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8129 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Feb 2014 at 1:11 PM (24 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-02-08 05:40:38 PM

quo vadimus: Previously you wrote "frequency of sex pales in comparison to everything else." You had also stated that the frequency with which you do have sex is more often than your wife would prefer. Out of all the things that "everything" encompasses, your wife's happiness, I would think, would be one.

Perhaps you were exaggerating, or perhaps you mistyped. I think you were misrepresenting the importance of sex to you in a purposeful manner. But now it looks like you're backing out of your own words by way of pulling my statements out of context and pretending that I am the one whose language excluded compromise.

A more polite way of backing out without suffering much shame at all would have been to simply say "okay, we both know I didn't mean everything when I said that thing before." Poetic license and all that.
 Anyway, enjoy all that panang you'll be compromising on!


It's not that I'm backing out of anything, it's that you don't understand.  Maybe I didn't make it clear, and if so, that's my bad.  The "everything else" was meaning everything you stand to lose in a divorce, in exchange for (supposed) greater frequency of sex.  That's what it pales in comparison to.

But what's really weird is that you accused me of taking you out of context.  I only responded to you once, and when I did, I quoted your entire post.  I just went back to re-read it all to see where I took you out of context.  But you were the one rephrasing the argument as an all-or-nothing concept.  That I must obviously be putting her above everything else, when in fact my very point was that I compromise, and that it's worth it.

Oh and while I was searching to see if I had misquoted, I found a post from you that I had missed earlier:

quo vadimus: Posted from the highest porn-consuming state in the nation.

Which means that the first thing you did was click on my profile and try to bring up something personal about me.  Like I said man, you're being farking weird.  Knock it off.
 
m00
2014-02-08 05:51:34 PM

Fafai: Occam's Nailfile: Fafai: We already agreed it would be joint custody if it came down to that.

Didn't you also agree to all this stuff?

"to be my lawfully wedded(husband/wife), to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part."

I'm not saying I don't smell what you're cooking, I'm just saying, you wouldn't be the first husband going through a divorce to find out his wife has suddenly become Beelzebub.

She's tried pulling the marriage vow card and that doesn't work with me. I told her straight up love doesn't work that way. You don't promise to stay together once in front of everyone and then stop trying to please each other and then use the vows as a guilt trip to enable your lack of effort in fixing things.

People need to stand up for themselves and their interests. Knowing the marriage could dissolve at any moment keeps it on it's toes rather than resting on the lazy laurels of the 'wedding vows'. Knowing divorce is always an option keeps it interesting and keeps the desire high, because you feel like you're truly being 'chosen' each day. If it's a farking trap for life, where's the incentive to show them you want to keep them around?


So why did she stop wanting sex?
 
2014-02-08 05:51:57 PM
Specifically, if men did all of what the researchers characterized as feminine chores like folding laundry, cooking or vacuuming - the kinds of things many women say they want their husbands to do - then couples had sex 1.5 fewer times per month

Dammit.

I wish somebody had told me this today -BEFORE- I woke up at 4 in the morning to feed the cats, washed, dried, folded and put away four loads of laundry, cleaned the four-cat litterbox (including scrubbing up the vomit they left behind) and the cats' water-streaming thingy that fills up with whatever slimy repulsive crap they drop in it, took the kids out to buy a friend's birthday present, bought some new vacuum cleaner bags (yes, dear, the HEPA bags of course), made lunch and dinner for the kids, did two loads of dishes, polished the cooktop, vacuumed and scrubbed the floors until you could eat off them, and helped my daughter with her homework.

I'm not getting any until 2018, am I?
 
2014-02-08 05:55:03 PM

Gulper Eel: Specifically, if men did all of what the researchers characterized as feminine chores like folding laundry, cooking or vacuuming - the kinds of things many women say they want their husbands to do - then couples had sex 1.5 fewer times per month

Dammit.

I wish somebody had told me this today -BEFORE- I woke up at 4 in the morning to feed the cats, washed, dried, folded and put away four loads of laundry, cleaned the four-cat litterbox (including scrubbing up the vomit they left behind) and the cats' water-streaming thingy that fills up with whatever slimy repulsive crap they drop in it, took the kids out to buy a friend's birthday present, bought some new vacuum cleaner bags (yes, dear, the HEPA bags of course), made lunch and dinner for the kids, did two loads of dishes, polished the cooktop, vacuumed and scrubbed the floors until you could eat off them, and helped my daughter with her homework.

I'm not getting any until 2018, am I?


Not even then.
 
2014-02-08 05:56:11 PM

Occam's Nailfile: FunkOut: Funny how some people are like "Sexual desire is something immature stupid people feel. When you get older and wise, you realise how silly and meaningless sex is and you can rise above such a base fleshly desire."

Not what I'm saying.  I'm saying, as you get older (unless you're just an asshole), you'll realize that one of the certainties of marriage is that there will be periods - sometimes PAINFULLY long ones - where the bedroom cools off, and if you love your spouse, you'll weather it.


Yes, and in almost every single case I've heard (and definitely not from personal experience), for the **rest of their lives and marriage.**

I believe that's the issue some people of this thread are facing. There's painfully long dry spells, and then there's "don't worry, more sex sometime soon (aka - never! Haha!)" spells.
 
2014-02-08 05:56:45 PM

QU!RK1019: Bane of Broone: Wow. I feel sorry for you.

It took a while, but I knew there would be a response like this coming.

Here's the thing.  My wife and I have sex about once a week.  Not often enough for me, more often than she would prefer.  But I am madly in love with her, still after 10 years of marriage, I adore my children, and I love my life.  There's no way in hell I'm walking away from all that just so I can get more pussy.  Frequency of sex pales in comparison to everything else.


Dude, I've read the whole thread and I have to say you are where I was 10 years ago. And things are not OK.  Talk to your wife, have you wife talk to her doctor.  With us I am pretty sure it was the our choice of contraception.  I loved my wife, she loved me, but the sex was just not great.   Long story short, we changed some things up, she regained her sex drive and life is soooo much better. It was never bad enough for me to consider leaving, but knowing your wife just isn't that into the physical part can really take a toll.
 
2014-02-08 06:04:46 PM

m00: Fafai: Occam's Nailfile: Fafai: We already agreed it would be joint custody if it came down to that.

Didn't you also agree to all this stuff?

"to be my lawfully wedded(husband/wife), to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part."

I'm not saying I don't smell what you're cooking, I'm just saying, you wouldn't be the first husband going through a divorce to find out his wife has suddenly become Beelzebub.

She's tried pulling the marriage vow card and that doesn't work with me. I told her straight up love doesn't work that way. You don't promise to stay together once in front of everyone and then stop trying to please each other and then use the vows as a guilt trip to enable your lack of effort in fixing things.

People need to stand up for themselves and their interests. Knowing the marriage could dissolve at any moment keeps it on it's toes rather than resting on the lazy laurels of the 'wedding vows'. Knowing divorce is always an option keeps it interesting and keeps the desire high, because you feel like you're truly being 'chosen' each day. If it's a farking trap for life, where's the incentive to show them you want to keep them around?

So why did she stop wanting sex?


Well it all happened after she gave birth to our firstborn, which I hear is quite common. But in taking the steps to fix things I learned that, without realizing it, I was treating the marriage like a trap, like she was mine no matter what, and I stopped appreciating and valuing her in the non-sexual ways that she needed (guys think they do this when they say 'I love you' everyday and give hugs and stuff but it's more complex than that). I fixed my part in itfirst and then she began to come around.

Men should understand that women don`t always just cut off sex after marriage because she has the guy "trapped" so there's no need to fark him anymore--they actually lose their desire for sex because they start being taken for granted and have no real reason to want sex. Once a man can get his head around the concept of needing a 'reason' or some 'context' for sex, things will start to go a lot more smoothly.
 
2014-02-08 06:09:53 PM

Fafai: Once a man can get his head around the concept of needing a 'reason' or some 'context' for sex, things will start to go a lot more smoothly.


Just wanted to add that this isn't indefinite. You start giving 'reasons' to put her in the mood and then, hopefully, as it did with us, you'll reach a tipping point where she's fully on board and the whole thing just snowballs into the kinkiest, craziest sex at every opportunity you can manage, no reasons needed. It's just concocting reasons to get over the hump, it's not like that forever.
 
2014-02-08 06:11:15 PM
There are two masculine roles that are always present within a woman's life - the payer and the player.

The only anomaly is that at the beginning a new relationship, a single man can perform both roles.

/misogynist
//don't need "saving" so save your breath.
 
2014-02-08 06:13:36 PM

Archae hippy: Dude, I've read the whole thread and I have to say you are where I was 10 years ago. And things are not OK.  Talk to your wife, have you wife talk to her doctor.  With us I am pretty sure it was the our choice of contraception.  I loved my wife, she loved me, but the sex was just not great.   Long story short, we changed some things up, she regained her sex drive and life is soooo much better. It was never bad enough for me to consider leaving, but knowing your wife just isn't that into the physical part can really take a toll.


Thanks for the advice, bro.  We actually are always looking at reasons for her low libido.  However, the sex, while maybe infrequent, is still great.

The main point I'm making here is that too many men have been using decreased sex as grounds for a divorce.  Really, they just want to run away from their problems, and they find receptive company when they justify it with sex.  It also washes their hands of any guilt in the break up.  "Everything was fine, she just stopped giving it up, so I had to do what was best for me."
 
2014-02-08 06:17:54 PM
Utter claptrap.

I do an equal share of housework. I get laid WAY more now than in my last marriage where I was basically forbidden to do housework because I "did it wrong."

Some women just don't like sex. Some MEN just don't get into sex. Find the person that "clicks" with you, treat them right, and everything will be hunky dory.
 
2014-02-08 06:19:56 PM

QU!RK1019: The main point I'm making here is that too many men have been using decreased sex as grounds for a divorce. Really, they just want to run away from their problems, and they find receptive company when they justify it with sex. It also washes their hands of any guilt in the break up. "Everything was fine, she just stopped giving it up, so I had to do what was best for me."


I doubt that. I think most guys are smart enough to try their best before leaving. They know they're more likely to get regular sex from someone familiar they know and love and who they used to have regular sex with, rather than dealing with being single and competing in that market. I think it's safe to assume if they're considering divorce they've already tried other avenues first and have convinced themselves there's no other option (whether they were doing it effectively and understanding why they were doing it is another story).
 
2014-02-08 06:20:19 PM

zzrhardy: There are two masculine roles that are always present within a woman's life - the payer and the player.

The only anomaly is that at the beginning a new relationship, a single man can perform both roles.

/misogynist
//don't need "saving" so save your breath.


And since I'm not American I have no idea what you're even talking about. Sounds like terms from some kind of rap music.
 
2014-02-08 06:21:35 PM

ZeroCorpse: Utter claptrap.

I do an equal share of housework. I get laid WAY more now than in my last marriage where I was basically forbidden to do housework because I "did it wrong."

Some women just don't like sex. Some MEN just don't get into sex. Find the person that "clicks" with you, treat them right, and everything will be hunky dory.


blog.zap2it.com
 
2014-02-08 06:24:59 PM

namatad: TL;DR: Married women don't want to have sex with their husbands

TADA
If your wife wont fark you, tell her you are getting sex elsewhere.
If she has a problem with this, divorce her.
TADA


./seriously, why is anyone in a sexless, unhappy marriage these days? the kids? WAY TO fark up your children. "Marriage should be unhappy, just like us!!"


Why would i encourage my kids to get married in the first place?  Believe me.. it will be the absolute last thing I endorse.  Marriage sucks period and yes, I'm sticking it out until the kids are legal.
 
2014-02-08 06:25:06 PM

Fafai: I doubt that. I think most guys are smart enough to try their best before leaving. They know they're more likely to get regular sex from someone familiar they know and love and who they used to have regular sex with, rather than dealing with being single and competing in that market. I think it's safe to assume if they're considering divorce they've already tried other avenues first and have convinced themselves there's no other option (whether they were doing it effectively and understanding why they were doing it is another story).


You could be right about most guys. But not all, unfortunately. It's those men in particular I direct my frustration with.
 
2014-02-08 06:29:37 PM
If sex isn't important, have a friend become a roommate and marry them.
 
2014-02-08 06:32:43 PM

baconbeard: Terminal Accessory: Happily married man of 5 years and having sex at least twice a week, even with a newborn.

You sick, sick bastard.


Ha! Nicely done.
 
2014-02-08 06:34:48 PM

VespaGuy: After a single year of not just a sexless marriage, but one with zero intimacy at all from her side, I sat her down and explained that I refused to live this way for the rest of my life and I asked her what - if anything - I could do to fix things (things that were apparently always broken)
She mostly shrugged and then used my offer as a way to get me to do laundry and cleaning.
I called her bluff and took over chores. You know what happened? Nothing. Her libido stayed exactly where it was.
So I asked her for a divorce and got the Hell out of there just shy of our two year anniversary.


I think this is an explanation of what the study found.  The fundamental issue is libido but she blames it on his supposed non-help around the house.  Thus those who are taking on the feminine tasks around the house are likely doing so because there were already sexual issues.

Of course it does nothing about the underlying problem--and presto, we have the guys who help more around the house getting less sex.

Kid Lester: But this is friggin nonsense. EVERY MAN I know, biatching about not getting pussy, treats his wife like a possession. Flat out. These are the same motherfarkers who went through the whole "is she pretty enough to impress my friends" ordeal when they were making the marriage decision.


Or maybe those who respect their wife don't air their dirty laundry in public.
 
2014-02-08 06:35:02 PM

Peepeye: Terminal Accessory: Peepeye: I'm a female who is engaged. All these comments are freaking me out a bit. The very few times I've turned him down are when he wakes me up for a morning quickie, although I usually don't mind. And if I wake him up at night....he's always willing. We work a lot. Lack of time is our issue.

Happily married man of 5 years and having sex at least twice a week, even with a newborn.  (After the healing process, of course)

We just make it a point to stay frisky.   Lots of compliments, innuendo, the occasional grope on the flyby, just to remind each other that we find them other sexy.

About once a month one or the other of us "plans" a sexy night with added romance and foreplay.   The rest of the time we just sort of pounce each other.

We do make sure to take into account how the other is feeling before initiating it, but I love when my wife starts it all.  Sexy as hell.

She keeps some nice lingerie and heels around, I've got some silk boxers she likes on me, it's not THAT difficult.

If you find them attractive, you should want to have sex with them, and you should tell them that often.

If you don't want to have sex with them, there's a problem.

I think one key is be able to forget all that other crap for a while, and just concentrate on having sex with the person you love and desire.   Leave work, and in-laws, and bills, and all that other junk at the bedroom door.

Sounds like you have a great marriage. Congrats on the newborn.

I'm not too worried. We are very affectionate. We have plenty of sex. I just said the few times I have turned him down was when I was in the middle of a deep sleep. I'm not in the habit of turning him down. I hope a baby doesn't change things....as we plan to start trying next year. The act of trying will be fun as hell though.


Been awesome so far!

And yes, baby making is a lot of fun once the "oh my god, we just used no protection at all!" moment of panic passes.

Best of luck, it's gonna be great!
 
2014-02-08 06:42:42 PM

HotIgneous Intruder: tylerdurden217: No sex is a legitimate reason for divorce.

There are people who think this.
They also think they can't live without sex.

They are wrong.


For a marriage to work, initmacy is one of the big four, the other three being children, finances, and religion. Agree on these four and you're pretty well set. Disagree, and they are very difficult -- if not impossible -- to compromise on.
 
2014-02-08 06:45:10 PM

QU!RK1019: The main point I'm making here is that too many men have been using decreased sex as grounds for a divorce. Really, they just want to run away from their problems, and they find receptive company when they justify it with sex. It also washes their hands of any guilt in the break up. "Everything was fine, she just stopped giving it up, so I had to do what was best for me."


I don't think it's so much decreased sex as an unwillingness to try to solve the problem.
 
2014-02-08 06:55:00 PM

TanHamster: Do your own oil changes, and take that $50 you're saving and treat your spouse to a nice dinner.


Uh huh.  Here we go again.  Now what about that dirty oil... need to bring it to a disposal station, possibly pay a fee for disposing it - it depends.  Then, what about if you get oil on yourself, dirty clothes - throw those in the laundry, that takes an hour to do or little bit more.

You see, sometimes I'd much rather pay someone else that extra $30 and not have to worry about anything later.
 
2014-02-08 07:01:03 PM

FirstNationalBastard: QU!RK1019: namatad: TL;DR: Married women don't want to have sex with their husbands

TADA
If your wife wont fark you, tell her you are getting sex elsewhere.
If she has a problem with this, divorce her.
TADA


./seriously, why is anyone in a sexless, unhappy marriage these days? the kids? WAY TO fark up your children. "Marriage should be unhappy, just like us!!"

Or, gee, you could suck it up and realize there are things more important in life than getting your rocks off.

No, not really. Everything else that's so important is just a way to get laid.


Or maybe your children are more important and when you turn to get a divorce because your not getting enough sex, but everything else is fine,  you realize that screwing your kids up and taking yourself out of their lives for a considerable amount of time is actually not worth it and sex isn't as important as you think.

Ok on topic.   Maybe just maybe women don't want sex as much as men period.  All this housework,  sharing is just bullshiat and maybe women who don't work have more out of submissiveness in that they are more reliant on their husbands.

Maybe men who are taking on equal roles with women are now feeling how tired women feel.   Now both working,  both doing all the housework and yard work and both attending to all the emotional wants and needs of all the family members, close and distant.   Yes and women worked int he past.  housework was a lot harder,  they also tended gardens many worked in factories such as clothing mills,  many worked as servants.   The idea that women stayed at home doing nothing only ever occurred in the higher levels of society.
 
2014-02-08 07:01:32 PM

QU!RK1019: namatad: TL;DR: Married women don't want to have sex with their husbands

TADA
If your wife wont fark you, tell her you are getting sex elsewhere.
If she has a problem with this, divorce her.
TADA


./seriously, why is anyone in a sexless, unhappy marriage these days? the kids? WAY TO fark up your children. "Marriage should be unhappy, just like us!!"

Or, gee, you could suck it up and realize there are things more important in life than getting your rocks off.


www.rottenecards.com
 
2014-02-08 07:04:09 PM

BolshyGreatYarblocks: QU!RK1019: namatad: TL;DR: Married women don't want to have sex with their husbands

TADA
If your wife wont fark you, tell her you are getting sex elsewhere.
If she has a problem with this, divorce her.
TADA


./seriously, why is anyone in a sexless, unhappy marriage these days? the kids? WAY TO fark up your children. "Marriage should be unhappy, just like us!!"

Or, gee, you could suck it up and realize there are things more important in life than getting your rocks off.

[www.rottenecards.com image 420x294]


You don't know many gay men, do you?
 
2014-02-08 07:07:08 PM

Hermione_Granger: Dear Men,

Stop listening to shiat like this written by some guy who hasn't seen pussy since he crawled out of one.

Look, If you shag your wife on the regular, you will find that she does all the housework and will shut the fark up about it. Women need dick like plants need rain. Don't shag your wife and she will biatch about everything else. But it's really the lack of dick she's pissed about.

She doesn't just need dick. She needs seduction and romance. She needs a sexy smack on the ass now and again and occasionally, a fark just because.

fark your wife. fark her hard, fark her often. It's not that women don't want sex. They just don't want your lazy, tired imitating porn sex that you think she wants. Lick her, spank her, pull her hair. fark the shiat out of her at least every two or three days.

She will do the housework because she'll be happy. You may even get steak.

Now. Ask me how I know?

Remarried and farking happy, that's why. Good dick and a lot of it, makes me a lot less biatchy. Just saying.

It's not feminist. It's not politically correct. It's just farking true.

Go shag your wife.



My husband asks me why I always make him do the pursuing.  Well I will tell why.  because when he has to chase and he does so he really wants it and when he really wants it.   HIS DICK IS farkING HARDER AND THE SEX IS farkING BETTER.

there I said it.
 
2014-02-08 07:07:53 PM
Marriage just wears me out.
 
2014-02-08 07:13:23 PM

FunkOut: Occam's Nailfile: FunkOut: Funny how some people are like "Sexual desire is something immature stupid people feel. When you get older and wise, you realise how silly and meaningless sex is and you can rise above such a base fleshly desire."

Not what I'm saying.  I'm saying, as you get older (unless you're just an asshole), you'll realize that one of the certainties of marriage is that there will be periods - sometimes PAINFULLY long ones - where the bedroom cools off, and if you love your spouse, you'll weather it.

Still sounds like "Sex isn't important. Get over the other person not being interested in you. Become their roommate."


The best part is that after you wait a little bit.. and then keep on waiting like Occam wants, for the day to come when the switch is flipped... you end up
bing 15 -20 years of paying for everything while she is banging the mailman every other day and the UPS man every other Thursday (and you thought she was running an eBay business..ha!)

then.. you finally give up and get the divorce and all your patience is rewarded with "Bo hooooo I gave so many years of my life.. the BEST ONES.. and now I have nothing, and then
you get to pay her alimony for another 10-15 years"  It's a tough economy, don't you know?!
 
2014-02-08 07:25:55 PM

QU!RK1019: Carousel Beast: You;re either trolling or stupid, which is it?

Or do you support being in uncommunicative marriages, too?

Well, I'm fantastically intelligent, so I guess I must be trolling.  I don't know where you're getting that, but ok.


I'll use small words, just for you.

If I decide not to meet my wife's need for communication, and therefore go months without talking to her, would you similarly insult her if she decided to complain that I wasn't meeting her needs in the relationship?

Physical intimacy isn't optional, stupid, or juvenile. It's a necessary component of a healthy, monogamous relationship. Kind of like talking to one another.
 
2014-02-08 07:26:36 PM
As a married man who hasn't had sex in 17 months, I can vouch for this stance of housewives.
 
2014-02-08 07:30:45 PM

Carousel Beast: QU!RK1019: Carousel Beast: You;re either trolling or stupid, which is it?

Or do you support being in uncommunicative marriages, too?

Well, I'm fantastically intelligent, so I guess I must be trolling.  I don't know where you're getting that, but ok.

I'll use small words, just for you.

If I decide not to meet my wife's need for communication, and therefore go months without talking to her, would you similarly insult her if she decided to complain that I wasn't meeting her needs in the relationship?

Physical intimacy isn't optional, stupid, or juvenile. It's a necessary component of a healthy, monogamous relationship. Kind of like talking to one another.


Ohhh, right, I totally didn't get that you were creating a strawman argument and attributing it to me.  Very well, carry on.
 
2014-02-08 08:33:53 PM
These findings came as a shock to anyone who has never been married.

"If you would just help more with the housework, I'd feel more like having sex"

Doesn't sound like a bullshiat line at all.
 
2014-02-08 08:52:09 PM

sharphead: TanHamster: Do your own oil changes, and take that $50 you're saving and treat your spouse to a nice dinner.

Uh huh.  Here we go again.  Now what about that dirty oil... need to bring it to a disposal station, possibly pay a fee for disposing it - it depends.  Then, what about if you get oil on yourself, dirty clothes - throw those in the laundry, that takes an hour to do or little bit more.

You see, sometimes I'd much rather pay someone else that extra $30 and not have to worry about anything later.



You know how I know you don't do your own oil changes?

(Answer: AutoZone & Advance Auto Parts will accept used engine oil, transmission fluid, brake fluid, batteries... pretty much anything they'll sell you as a new item, they'll take off your hands when it's used up.)
 
2014-02-08 08:58:04 PM
She believes that lesbian and heterosexual couples share sexual challenges because both relationships involve women

Sounds about right.
 
2014-02-08 08:59:06 PM

Prank Monkey: TanHamster: FTA: "masculine chores, like ... fixing the car"


Slightly off topic...  I'm an engineer at a large company (about 3000 employees at this site) and I would expect engineers to have the competence to tackle auto repairs.  Nope.  I'm the only man I know who even does his own oil changes.  I've never had my car to a garage for anything other than an inspection, and I'm by no means a master mechanic.  Fixing cars is not particularly difficult if you have the right tools.  My observation is that lots of men are pretty helpless when it comes to fixing the car.

LOL at the people who pay a dealer $75+ for a synthetic oil change.  AutoZone synthetic is $20/jug, and Amazon has Fram filters for $3 when you subscribe-and-save.  Do your own oil changes, and take that $50 you're saving and treat your spouse to a nice dinner.

Also slightly off topic. I am an engineer too. For a car manufacturer. Do you know how many engineers we employ who are great at what they do in a limited scope but don't know shiat about cars? It's terrifying. This part doesn't meet spec. They get that but they don't understand how that makes the car not run. Yeesh



What I find interesting/scary are the amount of EEs who don't know the first thing about wiring a house.  Hot? Neutral? White? Black? What???  Where I work, we have an enormous department of EEs who design single board computers and other specialized processor cards, and I know of maybe one guy who knows anything about household wiring.  And that's only because he does Habitat for Humanity.

I understand that EE != electrician, but c'mon.
 
2014-02-08 09:01:55 PM

Fafai: This thread is making me feel a lot better about being married. It isn't for everyone and I have to get used to the idea of marriage and monogamy in general becoming less popular and that could be a good thing overall without necessarily reflecting on my own relationship but for certain personality types monogamy is the best path to having crazy, kinky, boundary-pushing sex. My marriage is very much a sexual arrangement as much as anything and if sex is important to people they should be upfront and honest with their partners about it and stand up for themselves by refusing to settle for less. There is absolutely nothing wrong with placing a high priority on increasingly good sex and holding your partner accountable for their end of it.


gifrific.com
 
2014-02-08 09:10:31 PM

TanHamster: sharphead: TanHamster: Do your own oil changes, and take that $50 you're saving and treat your spouse to a nice dinner.

Uh huh.  Here we go again.  Now what about that dirty oil... need to bring it to a disposal station, possibly pay a fee for disposing it - it depends.  Then, what about if you get oil on yourself, dirty clothes - throw those in the laundry, that takes an hour to do or little bit more.

You see, sometimes I'd much rather pay someone else that extra $30 and not have to worry about anything later.


You know how I know you don't do your own oil changes?

(Answer: AutoZone & Advance Auto Parts will accept used engine oil, transmission fluid, brake fluid, batteries... pretty much anything they'll sell you as a new item, they'll take off your hands when it's used up.)



And they will buy the core of the parts back, refurbish them and sale them again.
 
2014-02-08 10:45:11 PM

Guest: Hermione_Granger: Dear Men,

Stop listening to shiat like this written by some guy who hasn't seen pussy since he crawled out of one.

Look, If you shag your wife on the regular, you will find that she does all the housework and will shut the fark up about it. Women need dick like plants need rain. Don't shag your wife and she will biatch about everything else. But it's really the lack of dick she's pissed about.

She doesn't just need dick. She needs seduction and romance. She needs a sexy smack on the ass now and again and occasionally, a fark just because.

fark your wife. fark her hard, fark her often. It's not that women don't want sex. They just don't want your lazy, tired imitating porn sex that you think she wants. Lick her, spank her, pull her hair. fark the shiat out of her at least every two or three days.

She will do the housework because she'll be happy. You may even get steak.

Now. Ask me how I know?

Remarried and farking happy, that's why. Good dick and a lot of it, makes me a lot less biatchy. Just saying.

It's not feminist. It's not politically correct. It's just farking true.

Go shag your wife.


My husband asks me why I always make him do the pursuing.  Well I will tell why.  because when he has to chase and he does so he really wants it and when he really wants it.   HIS DICK IS farkING HARDER AND THE SEX IS farkING BETTER.

there I said it.


Enjoy your inevitable divorce. I am going to hope for your sake that this is not exclusively how you handle sex in your marriage. If it is a obstacle course every time your husband wants sex, then you are doing it wrong and I pity him.
 
2014-02-08 11:05:32 PM

Egalitarian: Also like to point out, there are so many guys out there who can't stand it when their woman tries to initiate sex ... it has to be completely on the man's schedule and terms. Woman acts horny at anything but the appointed time? OH NOEZ SCARY!!! GET AWAY!


I bet you still believe in Santa too.
 
2014-02-08 11:24:25 PM
FTFA:  (wife is talking about what turns her on about hubby)
"It's when you're just back from the gym and you're all sweaty and you take off your clothes to get in the shower and I see your muscles."
Her husband countered by saying that this very situation had occurred that morning but that his wife became irritated when he tossed his clothes on the floor...

Threw clothes on the floor.. and then wonders why his wife got irritated?  What a genius.

Would he be irritated if she dropped tools onto the garage floor instead of putting them on the workbench?
 
2014-02-08 11:34:12 PM
Marriage sounds like just so much fun!
 
2014-02-08 11:35:08 PM

nanim: FTFA:  (wife is talking about what turns her on about hubby)
"It's when you're just back from the gym and you're all sweaty and you take off your clothes to get in the shower and I see your muscles."
Her husband countered by saying that this very situation had occurred that morning but that his wife became irritated when he tossed his clothes on the floor...

Threw clothes on the floor.. and then wonders why his wife got irritated?  What a genius.

Would he be irritated if she dropped tools onto the garage floor instead of putting them on the workbench?


Counter-point, if my wife managed to figure out where on the organized peg-board the primary hand-tools are stored, or the workbench back-up and specialty items are kept I'd crap myself. My wife is great, but women are not tool users, never have been.

I've tried, she's terrified of the table saw, band saw, drill press, planer, jointer, mortiser, and eyes my bench planes with suspicion.
 
2014-02-09 12:25:31 AM
I personally think it's more of a personality/attraction thing. I think that often times the personality you are attracted to lacks the libido.

I know for me in the past there have been several woman that I had an awesome sexual chemistry with yet bored/irritated me or were just plain crazy. We banged all the time yet there was no way I was going to have kids with them.

However, I do agree with several of the posters, that if you are using sex as a weapon of manipulation in a relationship, don't be surprised if he's stepping out on you later.
 
2014-02-09 12:37:57 AM

NathanAllen: I've tried, she's terrified of the table saw, band saw, drill press, planer, jointer, mortiser, and eyes my bench planes with suspicion.


I'm a bit terrified of table saws. You know how when using a tool when things go sideways and you see everything in slow motion? Table saws aren't like that it's just *bam* you got no thumb. Few people use them 100% safely.

A drill press can catch your hair or a shirt sleeve. Otherwise it'll mostly just chew on fingers if you fark up.
Planner, good for removing large swathes of skin.
Jointer, ditto.
Mortiser good for getting your injury posted on 4chan.
Blanch Planes... err nicked my finger on one once.
 
2014-02-09 12:49:38 AM

Kid Lester: I've been married twice. First wife, monogamous dating 4 years, married for 5 = 9 years. Current wife monogamous dating 3 years, married for 6 = 9 years.

I'm gonna be 44 years old next month. I'm a decent looking guy, packing somewhere around the national average, depending on the stimuli.

Oh yeah, I've got one child with the ex wife, 2 pre-schoolers with my wife.

I TOTALLY understand the reasons for the dropoff in sex after you get married. Believe me. These precious snowflake bastards will suck the life outta you faster than you can say Jack Robinson.

But this is friggin nonsense. EVERY MAN I know, biatching about not getting pussy, treats his wife like a possession. Flat out. These are the same motherfarkers who went through the whole "is she pretty enough to impress my friends" ordeal when they were making the marriage decision.

18 years and I've never, not one time, asked for a blow job. Yet they are plentiful. It's kind of amazing what happens when you treat your partner like an equal, you treat your duties to your family and the work required to keep a house in shape equally, you have some semblance of dick control and know what things will bring your woman off - and do them with a passion-, and making it so that f*cking you isn't more trouble than it's worth.

Nobody is going to f*ck you because you deserve it. NO. BAH. DEE. No one. Not a single person on the face of this planet. Nobody in the whole goddamned universe. If you are not fun in the sack, you ain't getting any. It truly is this simple.

"Oh yeah yeah yeah. Not mine. She's just a farking coont. Nobody could please this biatch."

She got that expectation from someone.


Your wife is probably fat, that is why. You don;t sound like a man, would never get yummies from a chick in demand.
 
2014-02-09 03:14:48 AM

QU!RK1019: No, it's not an all or nothing predicament. I like Thai food, she doesn't care for it. Is that important enough to divorce her over? Conversely, should we never go to a Thai restaurant ever again? Or... sheesh, maybe we could try to compromise.


You can go for Thai food anytime you want with anyone you want.  Not exactly a fair comparison.
 
2014-02-09 04:44:47 AM

Bucky Katt: Marriage sounds like just so much fun!


They want you to be miserable with them.

Sex is like any one of our other senses and relationships are the external stimuli.

Imagine smelling the samething everyday would you not become immune to it? Imagine eating and tasting the same meal everyday? Imagine only being able to watch one thing for the rest of your life!

Marriage is the samething as buying in bulk. Would any sane person go into a wholesale club and buy enough TV dinners to last them the rest of their life because they decided they weren't going to eat out anymore? NO!!!!

pcavote.files.wordpress.com
//I rest my case.
//did i do good?
 
2014-02-09 05:45:40 AM

Bucky Katt: Marriage sounds like just so much fun!


Honestly all human relationships are complicated. We live in a world that created the likes of Bill O'Reilly and Al Sharpton and threw them on the same planet together. At the same time. The Almighty FSM has a sense of humor if nothing else.

How any of us ever get around to farking at all is a miracle. How we ever pair down all the complexity that makes us up as humans to build lives, homes and rear children is amazing when you think about it.

It can be fun. It can be wonderful. But we have yet to build a world where all types of relationships, families and ways of living are not just "tolerated" but supported. And where people are really given the tools and helps they need to nurture these relationships - not just keep them on life support.
 
2014-02-09 06:59:12 AM

Hermione_Granger: Bucky Katt: Marriage sounds like just so much fun!

Honestly all human relationships are complicated. We live in a world that created the likes of Bill O'Reilly and Al Sharpton and threw them on the same planet together. At the same time. The Almighty FSM has a sense of humor if nothing else.

How any of us ever get around to farking at all is a miracle. How we ever pair down all the complexity that makes us up as humans to build lives, homes and rear children is amazing when you think about it.

It can be fun. It can be wonderful. But we have yet to build a world where all types of relationships, families and ways of living are not just "tolerated" but supported. And where people are really given the tools and helps they need to nurture these relationships - not just keep them on life support.


Wait a second here. Everyone smart'd your 'men, fark your wives' post because it's what they want to hear, but it's not smart at all. It's terrible advice. Most of these guys' problems are that they can't figure out how to get their wives to fark them, and your huge epiphany is that they should fark them? Yeah I'm pretty sure they've already thought of that and tried it like a bunch of times, which goes with what I bolded above. ...You think it's a miracle huh? Give your man some credit. And be prepared in the future for the possibility of being asked to show that same initiative and investment in getting laid if you want to keep that sex up.
 
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