Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Time)   Ten cities known for causing heartbreak. Whatever you do, don't fall in love in Chicago   (newsfeed.time.com) divider line 34
    More: PSA, Chicago  
•       •       •

3752 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Feb 2014 at 2:45 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



34 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-02-08 12:10:59 AM  
Looking at the list I was going to make fun of Texas for having two of the top gonorrhea rates and then I got to the end and saw Chicago's. Note to self: If I ever visit the windy city bring condoms
 
2014-02-08 12:16:25 AM  

www.illuminatiagenda.com

WTF did I just read?


Some lists are stupid because they are lists.  This list is moronic because is was compiled using the time-honored criteria of how long marriages last, how many dating services each has, the Gallup Well-Being Index and, of course, the city's clap rate.
 
2014-02-08 12:52:00 AM  
And you don't EVER want to get caught between the moon and New York City
 
2014-02-08 01:30:11 AM  
Go to Chicago for the pizza but don't stay.
 
2014-02-08 01:36:58 AM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: get caught between the moon and New York Cit


I know it's crazy, but it's true !
 
2014-02-08 01:50:45 AM  
Being last on the list is actually a good thing, because it means that there are nine other cities that are more miserable than you, San Diego. With seven dating services in town, there are clearly plenty of people pining for romance again. And, with one of the highest rankings on the Well-Being Index and one of the lowest number of venereal disease cases per 100,000, we think heartbreak is short-lived here.

This really doesn't help any with my decision process on whether or not to bail on this town. I saw another list in the past year that had San Diego as one of the cities with the highest proportion of attractive, successful single men to available single women, as well.

Hooorayyyyy we're the town with the lowest gonorrhea rate out of the top ten cities with high gonorrhea rates.
 
2014-02-08 02:52:54 AM  

fusillade762: Looking at the list I was going to make fun of Texas for having two of the top gonorrhea rates and then I got to the end and saw Chicago's. Note to self: If I ever visit the windy city bring condoms


lugolounge.com

"When are you ever going to make it back to Chicago?"
 
2014-02-08 02:55:42 AM  

Prey4reign: [www.illuminatiagenda.com image 400x261]WTF did I just read?
Some lists are stupid because they are lists.  This list is moronic because is was compiled using the time-honored criteria of how long marriages last, how many dating services each has, the Gallup Well-Being Index and, of course, the city's clap rate.


Backed by all the credibility of CreditDonkey.com

In otherwords, just a click bait article being used to raise the search engine rating of their unrelated, useless website.
 
2014-02-08 02:56:32 AM  
GODAMMIT!!!  If there's a farkin list, gimme the goddamn list. Not a farkin link to a Time article that ISN'T a list, but a short story ABOUT the list with a not terribly obvious link to the goddamn list!!!!  I thought AdBlock had ate a whole slideshow or something!

JUST GIMME THE farkIN LIST!!!!

 
2014-02-08 02:58:13 AM  

fusillade762: Looking at the list I was going to make fun of Texas for having two of the top gonorrhea rates and then I got to the end and saw Chicago's. Note to self: If I ever visit the windy city bring condoms


And whatever else you do, if you go there, avoid Saturday in the park.
 
2014-02-08 02:59:19 AM  

ciberido: fusillade762: Looking at the list I was going to make fun of Texas for having two of the top gonorrhea rates and then I got to the end and saw Chicago's. Note to self: If I ever visit the windy city bring condoms

And whatever else you do, if you go there, avoid Saturday in the park.


Just...just avoid Chicago. That works.
 
2014-02-08 03:14:40 AM  
As a resident of Chicago, I would like to take this opportunity to give a shout out to all my ex-girlfriends, my two ex-wives and my ex-mistresses. You were all awesome.

/all of my failed relationships have one thing in common
 
2014-02-08 03:18:08 AM  
Doesn't surprise me one bit that San Diego is on that list.

/sob
 
2014-02-08 03:20:01 AM  
I don't understand.

I clicked to read a list of 10 cities.

I saw no such list.

Is this the future of media?
 
2014-02-08 03:24:46 AM  
ciberido:
And whatever else you do, if you go there, avoid Saturday in the park.

Did you think it was the Fourth of July?
 
2014-02-08 03:40:04 AM  

Argyle82: I don't understand.

I clicked to read a list of 10 cities.

I saw no such list.

Is this the future of media?


That is exactly the situation I encountered, too.
- Click link, no list.
- Close tab, type comment.
I don't know how that benefited that site but I didn't hang around to look for anything. fark that site.
/I just wanted to read the list!! Now I have to go find a different list. Somewhere.
 
2014-02-08 04:03:41 AM  

sandbar67: As a resident of Chicago, I would like to take this opportunity to give a shout out to all my ex-girlfriends, my two ex-wives and my ex-mistresses. You were all awesome.

/all of my failed relationships have one thing in common


For the life of me, I can't imagine what that might be.
 
2014-02-08 04:12:34 AM  
When my girlfriend asked me to name all my sexual partners I'd ever had, I had to think back to when I was 16. 
I took a couple of minutes to list them off and eventually got to my current girlfriend. 

Thinking about it, that's where I should have stopped.
 
2014-02-08 05:25:43 AM  
Yep, but 3/4 of all the nookie I got was in my beloved city. ;-)
If you don't know how to roll or kick it, don't bother with Chicago. (Especially if you're a Hyde Parker)

Doesn't take much imagination to get laid in Lakeview, though.

Oh, ummmmmm, relationships, that's a whole other thing. Only had 2 my whole time there.
 
2014-02-08 06:11:23 AM  
The onion took care of this one

http://www.theonion.com/articles/man-moving-to-new-city-never-took-ti m e-to-truly-lo,35182/
 
2014-02-08 06:17:00 AM  
So no one talking about leaving their heart in San Francisco?
 
2014-02-08 06:19:45 AM  
The police in New York City
They chased a boy right through the park
In a case of mistaken identity
They put a bullet through his heart
 
2014-02-08 07:08:01 AM  

Prey4reign: [www.illuminatiagenda.com image 400x261]WTF did I just read?
Some lists are stupid because they are lists.  This list is moronic because is was compiled using the time-honored criteria of how long marriages last, how many dating services each has, the Gallup Well-Being Index and, of course, the city's clap rate.


Hey!  Clap rate is a valid metric!
 
2014-02-08 07:20:57 AM  
"Average duration of failed marriages: 18 years"

I call BS.  Not sure you can call being married for 18 or more years "failed".  I'm betting they just averaged the number of marriages with the number of years married to get that number.  Or completely made up the number.
 
2014-02-08 07:55:13 AM  
Anyone who's ever lived in Ohio knows that Cleveland is the heartbreak capital of the world - at least with regard to professional sports.

/and yes, link fail for not including, or even linking to, the actual list
 
2014-02-08 08:01:47 AM  

Bucky Katt: Go to Chicago for the pizza but don't stay.


I went to Chicago on vacation and didn't leave for 15 years. It was a great place to be as a single person/young married, but sucks for families.

At least I avoided the clap.

/Salerno's on Grand has the best pizza in Chicago
 
2014-02-08 08:05:10 AM  

oukewldave: "Average duration of failed marriages: 18 years"

I call BS.  Not sure you can call being married for 18 or more years "failed".  I'm betting they just averaged the number of marriages with the number of years married to get that number.  Or completely made up the number.


The cynic in me says that maybe the failure is that the marriages didn't end sooner! Heyo!
 
2014-02-08 08:25:17 AM  

HotWingAgenda: This really doesn't help any with my decision process on whether or not to bail on this town. I saw another list in the past year that had San Diego as one of the cities with the highest proportion of attractive, successful single men to available single women, as well.

Hooorayyyyy we're the town with the lowest gonorrhea rate out of the top ten cities with high gonorrhea rates.


I debated moving to SD, picked Chicago instead.  I want to maximize my chances of getting heart broke and gonorrhea, so I ain't messing around.

Though, for me, the good ratio of men to women of SD that you cite is not a positive metric.
 
2014-02-08 08:32:16 AM  
That's why seeing a man dance with his wife is so notable in Chicago, that toddlin' town.
 
2014-02-08 09:52:25 AM  
Not Detroit?


i.imgur.com
 
2014-02-08 10:35:48 AM  

HotWingAgenda: Being last on the list is actually a good thing, because it means that there are nine other cities that are more miserable than you, San Diego. With seven dating services in town, there are clearly plenty of people pining for romance again. And, with one of the highest rankings on the Well-Being Index and one of the lowest number of venereal disease cases per 100,000, we think heartbreak is short-lived here.

This really doesn't help any with my decision process on whether or not to bail on this town. I saw another list in the past year that had San Diego as one of the cities with the highest proportion of attractive, successful single men to available single women, as well.

Hooorayyyyy we're the town with the lowest gonorrhea rate out of the top ten cities with high gonorrhea rates.


I want to know what happens to San Diego's ranking both lists if you discount the sailors at the naval base. Being serious here.
 
2014-02-08 11:30:13 AM  
No worries. Chicago is a deadzone to real people ..
 
2014-02-08 12:03:54 PM  

sandbar67: As a resident of Chicago, I would like to take this opportunity to give a shout out to all my ex-girlfriends, my two ex-wives and my ex-mistresses. You were all awesome.

/all of my failed relationships have one thing in common


They were with women?
 
2014-02-09 12:17:08 AM  

SirEattonHogg: ciberido:
And whatever else you do, if you go there, avoid Saturday in the park.

Did you think it was the Fourth of July?


Yeah, I do that sometimes.  It's a hard habit to break.
 
Displayed 34 of 34 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
Advertisement
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report