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(New York Daily News)   This guy decided to attempt suicide, and you could say that he definitely nailed it   (nydailynews.com) divider line 58
    More: Dumbass, Colorado, CEO, USA Swimming, Greenwood Village  
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10038 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Feb 2014 at 3:34 AM (31 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



58 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-02-07 11:54:34 PM
shot himself seven or eight times in the head and chest with a nail gun

OW!, OW!, OW!, OW!, OW!, OW!, OW! and possibly OW!

Seriously though, how hard is it to count the nails?
 
2014-02-08 12:01:45 AM
Whiskey.
Tango.
Foxtrot.
?

/did he throw himself backwards onto a fork 40 times, too?
 
2014-02-08 12:04:49 AM
Determined but stupid??
 
2014-02-08 12:05:13 AM
Woohoo, my second greenlight! I didn't even know I got the first one, so I'll cheer on this one for popping my cherry!
 
2014-02-08 12:18:22 AM
i.imgur.com

How can you possibly shoot yourself that many times with a nail gun?  And what was he thinking each time it didn't work?
 
2014-02-08 12:33:39 AM
He had shot himself seven or eight times in the head and chest with a nail gun.

For fark's sake man, even a disgraced CEO can afford a real gun. One shot, done.
 
2014-02-08 01:34:29 AM
Damn, that had to hurt.
 
2014-02-08 01:51:18 AM
If they rule it a possible homicide, it's a paperwork nightmare and who wants that?
 
2014-02-08 01:59:21 AM
media.screened.com

25.media.tumblr.com

NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLGUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNN.
 
2014-02-08 03:44:08 AM
Penny for your thoughts ?
 
2014-02-08 03:44:33 AM
It's funny if you just imagine the guy doing it is Jerry Lewis.
 
2014-02-08 03:46:51 AM
If I wanted to torture someone to death I would use a nail gun. If I wanted to kill him outright there are far better choices. If I was going to off myself- a nail gun would not even be in the top 100.
 
2014-02-08 03:53:20 AM
Nicely suicided.
 
2014-02-08 03:59:20 AM
jeezus, he must have really wanted to punish himself before he went. can't you just buy a 12 ga. at walmart out there? or jump in front of a train, or run out in front of a cement truck...
after the first nail I'd be like "no, we'll just say it was an accident"
/it's like trying to kill your self with a desk stapler.
 
2014-02-08 04:04:04 AM
Company under investigation? or despondent Broncos fan\Super Bowl gambler?

\ducks
 
2014-02-08 04:12:54 AM

Radak: [i.imgur.com image 400x266]

How can you possibly shoot yourself that many times with a nail gun?  And what was he thinking each time it didn't work?


OW...SH*T...OW...SH*T...OW...SH*T...OW...F*CK...
 
2014-02-08 04:13:36 AM
Must have used a Brad nailer. Needed a Richard nailer.
 
2014-02-08 04:14:57 AM
At least it wasn't a pointless death.
 
2014-02-08 04:16:36 AM
I hope his tetanus shots were up to date.
 
2014-02-08 04:20:58 AM
Suicide? The police are stupid, it was obviously an amateur wig-fitter.
 
2014-02-08 04:24:02 AM
upload.wikimedia.org

Approves
 
2014-02-08 04:36:27 AM

CAPTIAN SLAPPY: If I wanted to torture someone to death I would use a nail gun. If I wanted to kill him outright there are far better choices. If I was going to off myself- a nail gun would not even be in the top 100.


Mentally ill people don't think rationally. It ties into the whole Mentally Ill thing.

/also wondering about the seven or eight thing
 
2014-02-08 04:37:02 AM
Radak:   And what was he thinking each time it didn't work?

Just a little bit less.
 
2014-02-08 04:42:10 AM

soseussme: It's funny if you just imagine the guy doing it is Jerry Lewis.


Picture Porky Pig offing himself in front of Elmer Fudd!
 
2014-02-08 04:47:16 AM
www.halloweenforum.com

Pins have a better effect.
 
2014-02-08 04:50:42 AM
So.. does this mean his wife is now available... of course I would have no chance.. I don't own power tools
 
2014-02-08 05:02:32 AM
Now we need nail gun control?

Did he pass a background check there?

Just noting... despite what the movies suggest, a nail through the skull is not instant death.  Nowhere close, even.  The trauma is a tearing of like 0.001% of the brain tissue, most of the volume is just pushed aside.

If you don't pull the nails OUT, you probably won't have major bleeding on the brain.

In fact, the brain has no pain nerves.  Probably zero incapacitation and only a "thunk" on his head.
He very likely felt the impact and just didn't think it fired right and had just banged the gun against his skull.

I'm guessing after a few shots to the head he went for the heart... but that wouldn't instant-kill either.

Well probably the nail hole got opened up by the heat's beating and it bled into the cavity around the heart.  This.... this would take awhile.
 
2014-02-08 05:05:22 AM

merrillvillain: Penny for your thoughts ?


16 or 18?
 
2014-02-08 05:08:48 AM

Oznog: Now we need nail gun control?

Did he pass a background check there?

Just noting... despite what the movies suggest, a nail through the skull is not instant death.  Nowhere close, even.  The trauma is a tearing of like 0.001% of the brain tissue, most of the volume is just pushed aside.

If you don't pull the nails OUT, you probably won't have major bleeding on the brain.

In fact, the brain has no pain nerves.  Probably zero incapacitation and only a "thunk" on his head. He very likely felt the impact and just didn't think it fired right and had just banged the gun against his skull.

I'm guessing after a few shots to the head he went for the heart... but that wouldn't instant-kill either.

Well probably the nail hole got opened up by the heat's beating and it bled into the cavity around the heart.  This.... this would take awhile.


At the least, he prob would have ruptured q few blood vessels in his brain.

The effect would have bben death..but mightve taken too long for his liking, hence the nails to the heart.

It prob wasnt hemorrhage that did it tho...but likeky trauma-induced v-fib.
 
2014-02-08 05:36:35 AM
Geez!. Way to die in pain! Are you 100% sure its a suicide
 
2014-02-08 05:50:16 AM

Radak: How can you possibly shoot yourself that many times with a nail gun?


Nail guns aren't very good weapons. You're not gonna die instantly. Might as well make sure it works.

To give you some idea, there was an account I heard about between a turk and a British officer. They traded about 10 wounds between them before a third guy came up and put a sword in the turk's head. The turk still had time to pray before collapsing.
 
2014-02-08 06:06:32 AM

Oznog: Now we need nail gun control?

Did he pass a background check there?

Just noting... despite what the movies suggest, a nail through the skull is not instant death.  Nowhere close, even.  The trauma is a tearing of like 0.001% of the brain tissue, most of the volume is just pushed aside.

If you don't pull the nails OUT, you probably won't have major bleeding on the brain.

In fact, the brain has no pain nerves.  Probably zero incapacitation and only a "thunk" on his head. He very likely felt the impact and just didn't think it fired right and had just banged the gun against his skull.

I'm guessing after a few shots to the head he went for the heart... but that wouldn't instant-kill either.

Well probably the nail hole got opened up by the heat's beating and it bled into the cavity around the heart.  This.... this would take awhile.


To be fair, we don't know where in the brain he aimed.

He could have started with his heart, and (a little shaky and weak) put the gun up to the side of the head behind the ear. Punching through thicker bone and brain stem might have more of an effect.
 
2014-02-08 06:07:33 AM

Oznog: Now we need nail gun control?

Did he pass a background check there?

Just noting... despite what the movies suggest, a nail through the skull is not instant death.  Nowhere close, even.  The trauma is a tearing of like 0.001% of the brain tissue, most of the volume is just pushed aside.

If you don't pull the nails OUT, you probably won't have major bleeding on the brain.

In fact, the brain has no pain nerves.  Probably zero incapacitation and only a "thunk" on his head. He very likely felt the impact and just didn't think it fired right and had just banged the gun against his skull.

I'm guessing after a few shots to the head he went for the heart... but that wouldn't instant-kill either.

Well probably the nail hole got opened up by the heat's beating and it bled into the cavity around the heart.  This.... this would take awhile.


The brain has no pain nerves but the layers getting there certainly do....scalp, dura. Otherwise it wouldn't hurt if you bumped your head. Very vascular as well.
 
2014-02-08 06:12:17 AM
7 or 8 times? is that you Brad?
 
2014-02-08 06:13:27 AM
You can't just suicide.

You have to COMMIT suicide.

That's why guys who leave their girlfriend's will never kill themselves.

They. Just. Can't. Commit.
 
2014-02-08 07:02:08 AM

Radak: How can you possibly shoot yourself that many times with a nail gun?  And what was he thinking each time it didn't work?


What baffles me is that through each nail tat didn't kill him, he became more motivated and determined to get it right the next time. He had something to fight for, a reason to live...
 
2014-02-08 07:08:45 AM

FlyingBacon: Geez!. Way to die in pain! Are you 100% sure its a suicide


Not stuffed in a duffel bag with hands tied? Sounds fishy.
 
2014-02-08 07:29:47 AM

suicide: soseussme: It's funny if you just imagine the guy doing it is Jerry Lewis.

Picture Porky Pig offing himself in front of Elmer Fudd!


Carlin. Well done.
 
2014-02-08 08:09:53 AM
It's that kind of sticktoitiveness that got him the CEO Position.

And that kind of stupidity that made the company a failure.
 
2014-02-08 08:15:04 AM

Radak: [i.imgur.com image 400x266]

How can you possibly shoot yourself that many times with a nail gun?  And what was he thinking each time it didn't work?


A little less each time.

doglover: Radak: How can you possibly shoot yourself that many times with a nail gun?

Nail guns aren't very good weapons. You're not gonna die instantly. Might as well make sure it works.

To give you some idea, there was an account I heard about between a turk and a British officer. They traded about 10 wounds between them before a third guy came up and put a sword in the turk's head. The turk still had time to pray before collapsing.


A nail gun duel, kinkyyy.

You got give it to him, if he survived, he could still claim to not remember anything that could be used against him.
 
2014-02-08 10:13:26 AM
i66.photobucket.com
 
2014-02-08 10:24:23 AM

Anastacya: Woohoo, my second greenlight! I didn't even know I got the first one, so I'll cheer on this one for popping my cherry!


I'm just gonna focus on that last part for a bit.
 
2014-02-08 10:26:16 AM

Gyrfalcon: Radak: [i.imgur.com image 400x266]

How can you possibly shoot yourself that many times with a nail gun?  And what was he thinking each time it didn't work?

OW...SH*T...OW...SH*T...OW...SH*T...OW...F*CK...


LMAO... see you in hell....
 
2014-02-08 10:27:10 AM

itsaback: Must have used a Brad nailer. Needed a Richard nailer.


A Dick nailer? The guy wasn't punishing himself enough?
 
2014-02-08 10:53:04 AM

Resident Muslim: You can't just suicide.

You have to COMMIT suicide.

That's why guys who leave their girlfriend's will never kill themselves.

They. Just. Can't. Commit.


Well this guy was definitely committed, he kept at it until he got it right.
 
2014-02-08 10:53:47 AM

Radak: How can you possibly shoot yourself that many times with a nail gun? And what was he thinking each time it didn't work?


I'm not surprised.  There's a difference between a fatal wound and an instantly deadly wound.  There's nothing in the chest that will be instantly deadly if hit with a nail.  Even most hits into the brain won't be instantly deadly.  Thus he kept firing.  While nail guns aren't true automatic weapons they usually have a mode that allows you to hold the trigger and they'll fire when in contact.  I've watched an experienced operator fire multiple nails per second that way.
 
2014-02-08 10:54:37 AM
q99.info

Seems relevant.
 
2014-02-08 11:26:04 AM
OK, now that is dedication.  You would think that after the first nail went in the guy would be like, "Damn!  That farker hurts" and would either give up or at least find a quicker method.  Even after the 4th or 5th one would think they would stop.  But, this guy was truly dedicated.  And for that I have to give props.

img.photobucket.com
 
2014-02-08 11:38:48 AM
Unavailable for comment.
s30.postimg.org
 
2014-02-08 01:18:44 PM
BBBuuuuttt I was told there wouldn't be suicide anymore without easy access to guns.
 
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