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(Business Insider)   How to piss off a French person, besides calling them a "cheese eating surrender monkey"   (businessinsider.com) divider line 148
    More: PSA, free education, French cuisine, carrot cake  
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6910 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Feb 2014 at 5:32 PM (28 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-02-07 05:55:24 PM

Nabb1: I've heard that gripe about Parisians from numerous French persons. I just smile and comfort them by telling them we Americans know exactly what they mean and we have those sorts of people here, too. In New York City.


New York's rudeness is overhyped. Just don't stand in the middle of the sidewalk staring like a hick tourist and no one with give you grief.

/Saying anything about how great the food is at Times Square is also out.
 
2014-02-07 05:55:27 PM
How about call out the fact that the author is named after a food. I'm afraid to ask what her maiden name was.
 
2014-02-07 05:55:50 PM
How to piss of a French person, be American. We smell better, are better educated, cook better, and fark better than they do.Coincidentally it is also how to piss off a Muslim, but then it is not hard to piss off a Muslim they are supposed to be gods chosen people yet they are at best 3rd rate domestic help.
 
2014-02-07 05:56:11 PM
Ask them about their role in the Rwandan genocides?

Be American?

Bathe?
 
2014-02-07 05:59:30 PM

optikeye: So, it's still cool to remind them about saving their ass in the War?


Yes to both times :-)
 
2014-02-07 06:00:35 PM
Put ketchup or ranch dressing on anything.
 
2014-02-07 06:00:58 PM

skinink: Actually in the few countries I've been to, a hello in the native language does make things easier. Not perfect, but I got by and my foreign language skills are miserable. Got by in France, Germany and CZ.


Any travel tips for the Czech Republic?
 
2014-02-07 06:05:57 PM

Ex-Texan: French toast, French fries, French bread.. You know the movie.


mmmm Diane Franklin aaahhhh
 
2014-02-07 06:06:53 PM

The_Sponge: skinink: Actually in the few countries I've been to, a hello in the native language does make things easier. Not perfect, but I got by and my foreign language skills are miserable. Got by in France, Germany and CZ.

Any travel tips for the Czech Republic?


It's safe to order draft Budweiser there without people giggling at you.
 
2014-02-07 06:07:26 PM
I enjoyed my smug assed visitors that chatted to themselves smugly... Look Anna, look what they think is French bread.  giggle.

Usually, that level of smugness is reserved for 8pm on MSNBC.....
 
2014-02-07 06:07:29 PM
That writer is really obnoxious.  I'm not sure how I feel about the French, but I'm absolutely certain I dislike her.  (And her pen name is supposed to be "Croissant"?  Really?)

/French bake well
/Italians COOK well
 
2014-02-07 06:07:30 PM

HotIgneous Intruder: Ask them about their role in the Rwandan genocides?

Be American?

Bathe?


That's in England.

Try and learn some history.

/lol
 
2014-02-07 06:07:55 PM
The alternate title for this article was how to piss off Americans
 
2014-02-07 06:08:04 PM
People can get upset about the smallest things way too easily. Chill out and enjoy your journey around the sun while you can.
 
2014-02-07 06:08:13 PM

Ex-Texan: French toast, French fries, French bread.. You know the movie.


Wait French bread isn't French?.......or do they just call it bread?
 
2014-02-07 06:08:18 PM

ElLoco: The_Sponge: skinink: Actually in the few countries I've been to, a hello in the native language does make things easier. Not perfect, but I got by and my foreign language skills are miserable. Got by in France, Germany and CZ.

Any travel tips for the Czech Republic?

It's safe to order draft Budweiser there without people giggling at you.



Heh.  It will be fun to go over there and order it by that name instead of "Czechvar"....like I have to do here.
 
2014-02-07 06:09:00 PM

Bareefer Obonghit: The alternate title for this article was how to piss off Americans



Lulz.
 
2014-02-07 06:10:57 PM
"hot-blooded"

Is that how you say pompous ass-hat in French?
 
2014-02-07 06:11:19 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Call them British?


Call them Quebecois?
 
2014-02-07 06:11:46 PM
Why was this greenlit?   It was poorly written and said very little that was on-topic.  And un-funny.
 
2014-02-07 06:12:07 PM
Want to piss them off some more?

Mention how America b*tch-slapped them during "The Judgement of Paris" back in 1976:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Judgment_of_Paris_%28wine%29

Not to mention that Washington and California are still producing AWESOME wines that can easily compete with the French.

/But the French still make the best sparkling wine, IMHO.
//Haven't found an American version that is as good as actual Champagne.
///Celebrated the Super Bowl with a bottle of Kirkland Signature Champagne.
////And yes, it was from France.
//Hell of a bargain at $20.
 
2014-02-07 06:13:06 PM
People were really polite with me in France, so I don't get the stereotype. Then again I didn't spend much time in Paris. But then I am easy going too, so I don't walk around looking like an asshole.

Bonjour! Par le vous engles?
 
2014-02-07 06:13:26 PM

Cyber_Junk: Why was this greenlit?   It was poorly written and said very little that was on-topic.  And un-funny.



It gives all of us the chance to properly criticize that article....and I'm enjoying the funny comments from many of you.
 
2014-02-07 06:14:03 PM

AlHarris31: People were really polite with me in France, so I don't get the stereotype. Then again I didn't spend much time in Paris. But then I am easy going too, so I don't walk around looking like an asshole.

Bonjour! Par le vous engles?



Ah-haaaaaaa!  Ah-haaaaaaaa!
 
2014-02-07 06:14:49 PM
Parisian here; she sounds like a biatch even by our standards.  Don't lump her in with us.

/we don't hate you
//we just don't pay you any mind
 
2014-02-07 06:14:52 PM
I've found making loads of jokes about white flags, giving up, and Germany tend to piss them off. As does saying that their language is God-awful to listen to, which is why nobody outside France bothers to speak it.
 
2014-02-07 06:18:13 PM

The_Sponge: Nabb1: I've heard that gripe about Parisians from numerous French persons. I just smile and comfort them by telling them we Americans know exactly what they mean and we have those sorts of people here, too. In New York City.


I'm just glad my French ancestors come from the South of France (Nimes).

CSB:

Back in college, I was working on a political campaign in So Cal.  Due to all the time spent going door-to-door, I developed a really nice tan.  (Blessed with good tanning genes.)

Anyhow, a campaign volunteer asked me if I was part French.  I said yes, but just a little bit.  I asked her how she guessed correctly.

She said that people in Southern France tend have the same skin color that I do.

/MIND BLOWN


Mine are from Decazeville. White as a sheet in the winter, but I look Mexican in the summer.
 
2014-02-07 06:22:11 PM
Yuck it up, Americans. You'd still be a colony if it wasn't for the French.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/France_in_the_American_Revolutionary_Wa r
 
2014-02-07 06:22:39 PM

Cyber_Junk: Why was this greenlit?   It was poorly written and said very little that was on-topic.  And un-funny.


Cheese eating surrender monkeys self-identify.
 
2014-02-07 06:24:50 PM
True story moment.  My roommate's French girlfriend arrived while he was out of town (he's a working blues musician and was on tour).  So I picked her up from the airport and after dropping her stuff off at our apartment, took her to the supermarket.  Her English is very good, but there were odd holes in her knowledge.  She was trying to find something made from pecans, but didn't know the right English word.  She finally said, "it's made like mayonoise, but with pecans".  I blurted out, "that's why the nazis invaded."  She was completely shocked and said, "you should not be saying these things."

I finally figured out she wanted pecan butter.  If she had said peanut butter but made with pecans there would have been no problem.  Like mayonoise because you whip it, I guess.

The couple got married the following year and got their own place.  My stomach misses her cooking.

BTW, she got revenge on me when her brother was visiting.  They would have conversations in French and randomly stick my name in the middle of sentences.  It damn near drove me insane.
 
2014-02-07 06:26:59 PM
You mean well. You either want to be helpful by talking to me in my native language, or you just want to connect with me in some mysterious way. The thing is, I do speak English, and my English seems to be a lot better than your French, so we should stick to that vernacular before I nod off.

No, dick.  When I go to a nation where I am able to passably communicate in their language (French speaking areas), I'm going to speak their language.

<csb>

My wife and I spent a few days in Paris on our honey moon (We were living in Germany at the time, it was on the way home from the wedding in the states).

We ate lunch just off the Champs Elysees at some little hole in the wall cafe.  We were speaking to each other in French throughout the meal, granted my accent is pretty obviously "American", and hers is very "Quebecois", but it was still French.  We ordered food in French, we asked the waiter questions in French.  Every thing he said back to us was in English.  Heavily Parisian accented English.

Nothing stands out more as an example of rude Parisians to us from that trip more than that waiter.  Nothing comes even close.  TFA complains about not liking rude Parisians while being rude in the same ways they are.

</csb>
 
2014-02-07 06:27:58 PM

gweilo8888: Yuck it up, Americans. You'd still be a colony if it wasn't for the French.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/France_in_the_American_Revolutionary_Wa r


Yeah, we accepted your statue, what more do you want?

:)

/imagine how arrogant the French must be to have blown that much of a lead in good will
/Somehow the BRITISH are considered friendlier, and look what we had to do to get them to leave
/was it really necessary to link to Wikipedia to cover 2nd grade American history
 
2014-02-07 06:31:19 PM

OgreMagi: True story moment.  My roommate's French girlfriend arrived while he was out of town (he's a working blues musician and was on tour).  So I picked her up from the airport and after dropping her stuff off at our apartment, took her to the supermarket.  Her English is very good, but there were odd holes in her knowledge.  She was trying to find something made from pecans, but didn't know the right English word.  She finally said, "it's made like mayonoise, but with pecans".  I blurted out, "that's why the nazis invaded."



That does seem... excessive of you.
 
2014-02-07 06:32:51 PM

OgreMagi: True story moment.  My roommate's French girlfriend arrived while he was out of town (he's a working blues musician and was on tour).  So I picked her up from the airport and after dropping her stuff off at our apartment, took her to the supermarket.  Her English is very good, but there were odd holes in her knowledge.  She was trying to find something made from pecans, but didn't know the right English word.  She finally said, "it's made like mayonoise, but with pecans".  I blurted out, "that's why the nazis invaded."

She was completely shocked and said, "you should not be saying these things."

I finally figured out she wanted pecan butter.  If she had said peanut butter but made with pecans there would have been no problem.  Like mayonoise because you whip it, I guess.

The couple got married the following year and got their own place.  My stomach misses her cooking.

BTW, she got revenge on me when her brother was visiting.  They would have conversations in French and randomly stick my name in the middle of sentences.  It damn near drove me insane.



 Funny story....two thumbs up!
 
2014-02-07 06:33:21 PM
How to piss off the French?
Who cares?  It isn't like France is relevant to world politics or anything.

Also effective: if they get snotty about your French, switch to German.  The French have had lessons.
 
2014-02-07 06:34:32 PM

gweilo8888: Yuck it up, Americans. You'd still be a colony if it wasn't for the French.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/France_in_the_American_Revolutionary_Wa r


Yeah, that was the French monarchy.  That government ceased to exist a few years later.  The only thing we've ever gotten from the multiple French Republics are requests for help.
 
2014-02-07 06:41:19 PM
My girlfriends mother is from France and she hates the French.
 
2014-02-07 06:42:12 PM

The_Sponge: FTFA:

Practice your poor language skills with us.



Well, fark you.  First we're told it's polite to try French, now this twunt is saying don't bother.  Apparently their major personality trait is to be assholes.  big surprise.

Well f*ck you too,

devildog123: If you start out speaking English with them, they act as though they've never heard a word of it in their lives, and are kind of arrogant assholes about it.  I'm glad my wife speaks really good French.  Always surprises them, as though they feel Americans are too stupid to ever speak it well.

.  You pretty much summed up part of the reason why I'm going to visit Prague instead of Paris this spring.



THIS^^^^^^
Even my "worldly" wife put Prague above Paris, mainly because of the constant assholicity of the farkers.
 
2014-02-07 06:44:02 PM

devildog123: gweilo8888: Yuck it up, Americans. You'd still be a colony if it wasn't for the French.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/France_in_the_American_Revolutionary_Wa r

Yeah, that was the French monarchy.  That government ceased to exist a few years later.  The only thing we've ever gotten from the multiple French Republics are requests for help.


A statue.  Don't forget the statue.

:)
 
2014-02-07 06:47:38 PM
Well those Frenchies at least have one thing going for them: they hate vegetarians.
 
2014-02-07 06:49:18 PM

Iplaybass: As does saying that their language is God-awful to listen to, which is why nobody outside France bothers to speak it.



Yep--every school around here is dropping French.  They hate they're about as lingually-relavant as Serbia.
 
2014-02-07 06:49:57 PM

jxb465: Well those Frenchies at least have one thing going for them: they hate vegetarians.



Heh.....true.  That part and bit about mistresses were the only parts I really agreed with.

"Even a broken clock is right twice a day."
 
2014-02-07 06:50:03 PM

devildog123: gweilo8888: Yuck it up, Americans. You'd still be a colony if it wasn't for the French.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/France_in_the_American_Revolutionary_Wa r

Yeah, that was the French monarchy.  That government ceased to exist a few years later.  The only thing we've ever gotten from the multiple French Republics are requests for help.


Not true.  Lots of American servicemen got STDs from them also.
But even more relevant,  while the French helped out a little in the American Revolution,  it was a matter of convenience and strategic interest for them, not the brotherly love and altruism that contemporary french try to paint it as.  They would have helped anyone if it stuck a finger in the English's eye.
 
2014-02-07 06:50:10 PM
I just love that phrase.  Is it only from the Simpsons, or did they quote it?
 
2014-02-07 06:50:27 PM

Far Cough: devildog123: gweilo8888: Yuck it up, Americans. You'd still be a colony if it wasn't for the French.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/France_in_the_American_Revolutionary_Wa r

Yeah, that was the French monarchy.  That government ceased to exist a few years later.  The only thing we've ever gotten from the multiple French Republics are requests for help.

A statue.  Don't forget the statue.

:)


and the entire western 2/3 of our nation
 
2014-02-07 06:50:50 PM
I don't know why she bothered to write the article; it sounds like she's plenty pissed off and smarmy already.
 
2014-02-07 06:50:58 PM
Surrender to the French person. This will confuse them. Then laugh and walk away.
 
2014-02-07 06:51:04 PM

fickenchucker: Iplaybass: As does saying that their language is God-awful to listen to, which is why nobody outside France bothers to speak it.


Yep--every school around here is dropping French.  They hate they're about as lingually-relavant as Serbia.



I took French in school when I lived in Serbia, so I'm really getting a kick out of these responses.

/YRLY.
 
2014-02-07 06:52:22 PM
Remind them that Napoleon was the one who introduced "French" cooking to France, via his chef from Sardinia, because the food he found in France was inedible

Ask them why their wine isn't as good as what you get from Washington or California
 
2014-02-07 06:53:10 PM

hoodiowithtudio: and the entire western 2/3 of our nation



God bless that midget and his dreams of conquest.

/Yeah yeah....I know that he wasn't really that short.
 
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