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(Business Insider)   How to piss off a French person, besides calling them a "cheese eating surrender monkey"   (businessinsider.com) divider line 148
    More: PSA, free education, French cuisine, carrot cake  
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6907 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Feb 2014 at 5:32 PM (23 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



148 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-02-07 03:57:34 PM
Pretty easy to piss off the French.
It isn't hard to do.
All you need do it speak French better.
Cook better.
Smell better.
And be humane.
 
2014-02-07 03:58:27 PM
Well that was terrible.
 
2014-02-07 04:05:47 PM

jylcat: Well that was terrible.


Seriously.  Apparently not only are the French easy to piss off, they're not especially engaging writers either.
 
2014-02-07 04:06:40 PM
so... be "Not French", or "French, but from Paris".  Got it.

I used to entertain myself by pissing off a friend's French mother with little comments about France that would sound perfectly polite by any standard but a French person's.  I was kicked out of their house more than once.  Not that it bothered me that an aging professional arm ornament and gold-digger didn't want to share my company.
 
2014-02-07 04:13:59 PM
Thanks, Business Insider, for giving us the news we need to read!
 
FNG [TotalFark]
2014-02-07 04:17:25 PM
I'll stick with subby's gold standard, thanks. If it ain't broke.
 
2014-02-07 04:17:36 PM
Dieu bénit le monde avec la France, mais il maudit avec Paris.
 
2014-02-07 04:27:25 PM

I don't know any French people. So I've decided to use a archetype.


upload.wikimedia.org
 
2014-02-07 04:29:01 PM
images4.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2014-02-07 04:34:15 PM
Call them British?
 
2014-02-07 04:39:24 PM
The gaul of those people.
 
2014-02-07 04:51:03 PM
So, it's still cool to remind them about saving their ass in the War?
 
2014-02-07 05:10:57 PM
What is this?
 
2014-02-07 05:13:25 PM
31.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-02-07 05:28:42 PM
Throw cows back at them.
 
2014-02-07 05:29:46 PM
FTFA:

Practice your poor language skills with us.


Well f*ck you too, Pierre.  You pretty much summed up part of the reason why I'm going to visit Prague instead of Paris this spring.
 
2014-02-07 05:31:14 PM

The_Sponge: FTFA:

Practice your poor language skills with us.


Well f*ck you too, Pierre Madame.  You pretty much summed up part of the reason why I'm going to visit Prague instead of Paris this spring.



FTFM.
 
2014-02-07 05:33:29 PM

bearded clamorer: The gaul of those people.


I think you mean: DeGaulle of those people.
 
2014-02-07 05:35:21 PM
I've heard that gripe about Parisians from numerous French persons. I just smile and comfort them by telling them we Americans know exactly what they mean and we have those sorts of people here, too. In New York City.
 
2014-02-07 05:36:16 PM
By  Morgane Croissant? Really?
 
2014-02-07 05:38:07 PM
By Morgane Croissant?  First appeared in a click-bait "Matador network."

Business Insider, for those times when the Huffington Post is just too credible.
 
2014-02-07 05:38:41 PM
i1136.photobucket.com
 
2014-02-07 05:40:12 PM
Buzzworthy-level content detected
 
2014-02-07 05:40:27 PM

The_Sponge: FTFA:

Practice your poor language skills with us.


Well f*ck you too, Pierre.  You pretty much summed up part of the reason why I'm going to visit Prague instead of Paris this spring.


Is the beer the other reason?
 
2014-02-07 05:41:17 PM
Insult Jerry Lewis?
 
2014-02-07 05:41:39 PM
Well, that was a pretty obnoxious article.
 
2014-02-07 05:41:44 PM
olivierschmitt.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-02-07 05:42:07 PM

Nabb1: I've heard that gripe about Parisians from numerous French persons. I just smile and comfort them by telling them we Americans know exactly what they mean and we have those sorts of people here, too. In New York City.



I'm just glad my French ancestors come from the South of France (Nimes).

CSB:

Back in college, I was working on a political campaign in So Cal.  Due to all the time spent going door-to-door, I developed a really nice tan.  (Blessed with good tanning genes.)

Anyhow, a campaign volunteer asked me if I was part French.  I said yes, but just a little bit.  I asked her how she guessed correctly.

She said that people in Southern France tend have the same skin color that I do.

/MIND BLOWN
 
2014-02-07 05:43:04 PM

Polartank13: The_Sponge: FTFA:

Practice your poor language skills with us.


Well f*ck you too, Pierre.  You pretty much summed up part of the reason why I'm going to visit Prague instead of Paris this spring.

Is the beer the other reason?



Ha!  Among many.

/First & last time I was there I was only 12.
 
2014-02-07 05:43:23 PM
Oh look, made up sh*t that never happened.
 
2014-02-07 05:44:17 PM

Pelvic Splanchnic Ganglion: Well, that was a pretty obnoxious article.



Some parts made sense.....yes, it is rude to ask if somebody's father has a mistress.

But ripping on people who give you respect by at least TRYING to speak the language?  Come on, lady!
 
2014-02-07 05:44:29 PM

timujin: jylcat: Well that was terrible.

Seriously.  Apparently not only are the French easy to piss off, they're not especially engaging writers either.


Cette. Victor Hugo, Dumas Pere, Hell, Dumas Fils, are shaking their heads at the sad state of this article.
 
2014-02-07 05:44:48 PM
Did somebody say 'surrender'?
olivierschmitt.files.wordpress.com
How many people does it take to defend Paris?
Nobody knows, its never been tried.

What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up?
The Army.

What's the difference between Frenchmen and toast?
You can make soldiers out of toast.


Thank you. I'll be here all week. Don't forget to tip be insulted by your waiter. Try the snails.


Could not resist. France is awesome. Provence is beautiful. French food is the BEST in the world. Paris is magic. No one bakes like the French. It burns when I pee.
 
2014-02-07 05:45:05 PM
The French have the best military record in terms of fighting. Even in World War II the bravery of the men and women in the resistance is legendary.

However what pissed many allied soldier off was how eager the collaborators embraced Nazis culture.
 
2014-02-07 05:46:14 PM
That's not the picture I would have chosen. I mean; the guy did machine gun her entire family, right in front of her. I'd classify that as righteous vengeance; possibly furious anger.

/ For you know my name is The Lord!

// does Marcellus Wallace look like a biatch
 
2014-02-07 05:46:47 PM
Say what you will about the French... can you imagine a US President having to decide *which* of his mistresses to choose as "First Lady".... and the entire country being OK with that?
 
2014-02-07 05:46:57 PM

Dahnkster: Could not resist. France is awesome. Provence is beautiful. French food is the BEST in the world. Paris is magic. No one bakes like the French. It burns when I pee.


All of this.  Except the peeing; you're on your own there.  I loved my visit to France.
 
2014-02-07 05:47:20 PM

Dahnkster: How many people does it take to defend Paris?
Nobody knows, its never been tried.

What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up?
The Army.

What's the difference between Frenchmen and toast?
You can make soldiers out of toast.


Q: Why are all the streets in Paris lined with trees?

A: Because Germans like marching in the shade.
 
2014-02-07 05:48:09 PM

The_Sponge: FTFA:

Practice your poor language skills with us.


Well f*ck you too, Pierre.  You pretty much summed up part of the reason why I'm going to visit Prague instead of Paris this spring.


If you start out speaking English with them, they act as though they've never heard a word of it in their lives, and are kind of arrogant assholes about it.  I'm glad my wife speaks really good French.  Always surprises them, as though they feel Americans are too stupid to ever speak it well.
 
2014-02-07 05:48:25 PM
The best way to insult the French is to ask them to say something Belgian to you.

Another option is to spend time in any airport or train station outside of France and to share an eyeroll with a local when you both realize that whiny, complaining person in front of you in the ticket line is, mon dieu, French. Disliking the French seems pretty universal. Parisians do it the best.

That said, I recently spent a week in a tourist-abandoned Brittany. It's charmingly depopulated, and, as the name suggests, not as French as the rest of France. And it's nice to see a European capital unbombed since 1870.
 
2014-02-07 05:48:30 PM

Say bad things about the EU?



static01.mediaite.com
 
2014-02-07 05:48:47 PM

Darth_Lukecash: The French have the best military record in terms of fighting. Even in World War II the bravery of the men and women in the resistance is legendary.


The famed French Resistence was mostly made up of Eastern European Jews.
 
2014-02-07 05:49:13 PM
I found out right away that it is true if you enter a shop in France and don't say Bonjour, they will not help you. On the good side, that also means they will not bother you like pushy salespeople in the US. So you can just browse around until you play nice and say hello.

Actually in the few countries I've been to, a hello in the native language does make things easier. Not perfect, but I got by and my foreign language skills are miserable. Got by in France, Germany and CZ.
 
2014-02-07 05:49:16 PM
Be a Muslim.

cdn.theguardian.tv
 
2014-02-07 05:49:18 PM
Let's see, I'll go with:

Step 1: Find a French person and climb to the top of him/her.

Step 2: Face away from the wind

Step 3: Open zipper (or squat, if you're of the female persuasion).

Step 4: pee...
 
2014-02-07 05:50:39 PM
tell them their McD's are filthy.

ask them where to buy deoderant?
 
2014-02-07 05:53:23 PM

The_Sponge: FTFA:

Practice your poor language skills with us.


Well f*ck you too, Pierre.  You pretty much summed up part of the reason why I'm going to visit Prague instead of Paris this spring.


I lived in a French-speaking country for a long time, and spoke French daily. I'll admit I wasn't a native speaker, but it was enough to get around, pay my bills, order food, get train tickets, etc.

In Paris, I started talking to someone at the train station in French and they immediately switched to English because "I was murdering their language."
 
2014-02-07 05:53:41 PM

The_Sponge: Pelvic Splanchnic Ganglion: Well, that was a pretty obnoxious article.


Some parts made sense.....yes, it is rude to ask if somebody's father has a mistress.

But ripping on people who give you respect by at least TRYING to speak the language?  Come on, lady!



Exactly. Seems like trying to communicate in the local language is simply being respectful. The alternative would be just assuming everyone in Francophone areas is fluent in English, which I will guess doesn't usually end happily.

So the ultimatum is "speak French perfectly, or don't bother trying to communicate at all"? fark that...
 
2014-02-07 05:54:11 PM

devildog123: The_Sponge: FTFA:

Practice your poor language skills with us.


Well f*ck you too, Pierre.  You pretty much summed up part of the reason why I'm going to visit Prague instead of Paris this spring.

If you start out speaking English with them, they act as though they've never heard a word of it in their lives, and are kind of arrogant assholes about it.  I'm glad my wife speaks really good French.  Always surprises them, as though they feel Americans are too stupid to ever speak it well.



Yeesh.  I will never understand that attitude.  If I'm walking around here at home, and a foreign tourist asks for assistance in broken English, you can bet that I will do my best to help him or her.

Yeah yeah....I know that zee French jealously guard their language.

But I like to think that I am defender of proper English.....but our greatest threat is not tourists trying their best, it's the "words" people use when texting.  Ugh.
 
2014-02-07 05:54:42 PM
French toast, French fries, French bread.. You know the movie.
 
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