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(AZCentral)   Somewhere between "Whoops, I got drunk and took a whiz on the wall of the Alamo" and "You owe us $4,000 for damage to the limestone" lies the truth. Maybe in the basement   (azcentral.com) divider line 53
    More: Asinine, Alamo, radiation damages, urination  
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4086 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Feb 2014 at 1:45 PM (33 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-02-07 12:16:52 PM
The fine and jail time aren't surprising, Texans are very proud of the Alamo.  The guy was from El Paso, he should have known better.
 
2014-02-07 01:26:09 PM
Did that get Ozzy banned from the state?
 
2014-02-07 01:47:25 PM
Crazy. That's how it goes.
 
2014-02-07 01:48:40 PM
SHAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNN!
 
2014-02-07 01:50:14 PM
blog.stackoverflow.com

No one hipped me to that, dude!
 
2014-02-07 01:53:17 PM
Justice is slow at the Alamo.
 
2014-02-07 01:53:46 PM
Texans are messing with Texas now?

/I'd piss on the Alamo just to troll Texans. I find this hilarious.
 
2014-02-07 01:54:07 PM

nuqneh: The fine and jail time aren't surprising, Texans are very proud of the Alamo.  The guy was from El Paso, he should have known better.


I agree.  But $4,000 for repairs?  Does he piss limestone-etching acid?
 
2014-02-07 01:58:24 PM
www.trading-cards.org

/Davy probably whizzed on the Alamo himself.
 
2014-02-07 01:58:26 PM
Kinda surprised by the dudes' name.   Was expecting something like Manuel  Atenious.  And be writing "Remember the Alamo!" in spanish.
 
2014-02-07 01:58:53 PM

KidneyStone: nuqneh: The fine and jail time aren't surprising, Texans are very proud of the Alamo.  The guy was from El Paso, he should have known better.

I agree.  But $4,000 for repairs?  Does he piss limestone-etching acid?


I'm sure part of that is punitive as an example to others. Sadly, there are pricks out there who would say, eff it, I can pay $500 *if* I get caught.

$4k makes even a drunk prick pause.
 
2014-02-07 01:59:31 PM

KidneyStone: nuqneh: The fine and jail time aren't surprising, Texans are very proud of the Alamo.  The guy was from El Paso, he should have known better.

I agree.  But $4,000 for repairs?  Does he piss limestone-etching acid?


Cop Math + Government contract rates = $4000 to hose some piss off of a wall
 
2014-02-07 02:01:49 PM
Hang on, Bexar County is pronounced BAYR? That sounds suspiciously Messican.
 
2014-02-07 02:02:36 PM

KidneyStone: nuqneh: The fine and jail time aren't surprising, Texans are very proud of the Alamo.  The guy was from El Paso, he should have known better.

I agree.  But $4,000 for repairs?  Does he piss limestone-etching acid?


It's a Libertarian state so they have to make a profit off it.
 
2014-02-07 02:04:54 PM

naughtyrev: Did that get Ozzy banned from the state?


Did his time, went back, rocked the place.
 
2014-02-07 02:05:14 PM
They're just trying to stick him with the tab for the damage the Mexican army caused.
 
2014-02-07 02:06:29 PM
You call that a pee bargain?
 
2014-02-07 02:06:52 PM

naughtyrev: Did that get Ozzy banned from the state?


Is that supposed to be a punishment?
 
2014-02-07 02:07:53 PM
Its rude to piss on the visible symbol of Texas' supposed independent past.
 
2014-02-07 02:13:59 PM

naughtyrev: Did that get Ozzy banned from the state?


Yup. 10 years. He did his time and came back and rocked the place.
 
2014-02-07 02:18:19 PM
Yep, $4,000 to run a hose and throw more sand on the spot.
 
2014-02-07 02:20:49 PM
The prosecutor seem like a huge dick.

Is this his car?

i.imgur.com
 
2014-02-07 02:21:54 PM
Needs more urine.
 
2014-02-07 02:25:17 PM

nuqneh: The fine and jail time aren't surprising, Texans are very proud of the Alamo.  The guy was from El Paso, he should have known better.


He was from El Paso. That's not really Texas. Ask anyone from there.
 
2014-02-07 02:34:53 PM
I have to say, the Alamo was a bit of a let down. If it was filled with piss it would be more interesting.
 
2014-02-07 02:35:11 PM

nuqneh: The fine and jail time aren't surprising, Texans are very proud of the Alamo.  The guy was from El Paso, he should have known better.


i have no idea why they are proud of the Alamo -- all this "remember the Alamo" crap.

settlers paid by Mexico to stay in the area (paid to citizens of Mexico -- their only job was to say "I'm Mexican" if anyone came around and asked)

they ended up reneging on the deal and said "this is america now" -- and santa ana kicked their ass for it.

so, yeah -- remember that a bunch of assholes stole land and pay from Mexico, then, when attacked for it, they ran into the church to hide, forgetting to spike their cannons, which were turned on them and they were obliterated.
 
2014-02-07 02:39:06 PM
I went there a couple of years back. I enjoyed the 90 minutes I spent poking around wondering how effing scary it would have been with an army of Mexicans banging on the front door. While there, I urinated only in the designated areas.

Can't figure out why they built it downtown, though? Why would you do that?
 
2014-02-07 02:41:47 PM

nuqneh: The fine and jail time aren't surprising, Texans are very proud of the Alamo.  The guy was from El Paso, he should have known better.


Texans are proud of other stupid things, too. Doesn't make it right. Proud thieves and thugs, and the Alamo continues to be a symbol of their theft and brutality.
 
2014-02-07 02:42:04 PM

stellarossa: I went there a couple of years back. I enjoyed the 90 minutes I spent poking around wondering how effing scary it would have been with an army of Mexicans banging on the front door. While there, I urinated only in the designated areas.


When i went there I was stunned by the number of congratulatory plaques the daughters of the republic hung in their own honor.
 
2014-02-07 02:47:18 PM

Fuggin Bizzy: Texans are messing with Texas now?

/I'd piss on the Alamo just to troll Texans. I find this hilarious.


This, but I don't want to go to Texas to do it. Can I mail my piss to a service that would then throw it on the Alamo? Rick perry's face would also be a suitable target.
 
2014-02-07 02:51:04 PM

keithgabryelski: stellarossa: I went there a couple of years back. I enjoyed the 90 minutes I spent poking around wondering how effing scary it would have been with an army of Mexicans banging on the front door. While there, I urinated only in the designated areas.

When i went there I was stunned by the number of congratulatory plaques the daughters of the republic hung in their own honor.


ahhh.. i see there has been some trouble with the daughters:

http://www.dallasnews.com/news/local-news/20121229-state-evicting-da ug hters-of-the-republic-of-texas-from-the-alamo.ece

State evicting Daughters of the Republic of Texas from the Alamo

SAN ANTONIO - The Daughters of the Republic of Texas will pack up its office and other belongings at the Alamo after the new year following the state's order to take its private chapter business elsewhere.
The chapter lost its exclusive custodianship of the historic property earlier amid allegations of mismanagement.
 
2014-02-07 03:28:09 PM
That guy from ElPaso? While geographically it is Texas, It's something akin to "mexico adjacent", more like Texas/Mexico, or "Texaco". Hell, Texas doesn't claim it, Mexico doesn't want it, and New Mexico sure as hell doesn't want anything to do with it.
The Daughters are being evicted for mismanagement, what the hell do you expect for a largely volunteer organization? Get the national parks in to screw things up real good.
Texas, was annexed to the union by treaty. I'd say secede, but that state is now as effed up as the rest of the U.S.
I do have a "Secede" belt buckle from the sesquicentenial in the 80s, but that time has passed.
 
2014-02-07 03:56:30 PM
keithgabryelski:

settlers paid by Mexico to stay in the area (paid to citizens of Mexico -- their only job was to say "I'm Mexican" if anyone came around and asked)

they ended up reneging on the deal and said "this is america now" -- and santa ana kicked their ass for it.

so, yeah -- remember that a bunch of assholes stole land and pay from Mexico, then, when attacked for it, they ran into the church to hide, forgetting to spike their cannons, which were turned on them and they were obliterated.


You don't know shiat about Texas history. The 'Texians' didn't have issues with the Mexican govt. and considered themselves part of Mexico, until hardliners took over the Mexican government and threw out the Mexican constitution, dissolved congress and installed a military dictatorship, led by Santa Anna. Several mexican states also revolted, but Texas is the only one that succeeded.

How is it any different than how this entire farking country was formed? It's not! But this is Fark and bashing Texas makes you cool and witty, even if you don't know what the f*ck you're talking about, right?
 
2014-02-07 04:06:47 PM
So, what is different between what I said and what you said?

Did they steal land and money or not?

Did they get their ass kicked or not?
 
2014-02-07 04:12:47 PM
Quick, somebody take Bieber on a tour of the Alamo.  I'm sure he can figure out a way to get more jail time than this guy.
 
2014-02-07 04:17:02 PM

keithgabryelski: nuqneh: The fine and jail time aren't surprising, Texans are very proud of the Alamo.  The guy was from El Paso, he should have known better.

i have no idea why they are proud of the Alamo -- all this "remember the Alamo" crap.

settlers paid by Mexico to stay in the area (paid to citizens of Mexico -- their only job was to say "I'm Mexican" if anyone came around and asked)

they ended up reneging on the deal and said "this is america now" -- and santa ana kicked their ass for it.

so, yeah -- remember that a bunch of assholes stole land and pay from Mexico, then, when attacked for it, they ran into the church to hide, forgetting to spike their cannons, which were turned on them and they were obliterated.


I hate to disappoint you asshole, but there were Mexicans fighting along side the Texans in the Alamo who ended up being murdered by their own people. Stop being an ignoramus and quit listening to your leftist assclown buddies.
 
2014-02-07 04:38:21 PM

Death Whisper: keithgabryelski: nuqneh: The fine and jail time aren't surprising, Texans are very proud of the Alamo.  The guy was from El Paso, he should have known better.

i have no idea why they are proud of the Alamo -- all this "remember the Alamo" crap.

settlers paid by Mexico to stay in the area (paid to citizens of Mexico -- their only job was to say "I'm Mexican" if anyone came around and asked)

they ended up reneging on the deal and said "this is america now" -- and santa ana kicked their ass for it.

so, yeah -- remember that a bunch of assholes stole land and pay from Mexico, then, when attacked for it, they ran into the church to hide, forgetting to spike their cannons, which were turned on them and they were obliterated.

I hate to disappoint you asshole, but there were Mexicans fighting along side the Texans in the Alamo who ended up being murdered by their own people. Stop being an ignoramus and quit listening to your leftist assclown buddies.


Which part of my statement was wrong?

That they took mexico's money and then stole the land?

That they got their ass kicked?

That they coward in a church?

Maybe that they didn't spike the cannons?

That they cannons were used to kill them? The dumbasses that stole land and money and instead of just leaving the area -- which would have been the smart thing to do when they didn't like what happened -- they stood against an impossible force and paid the obvious price
 
2014-02-07 04:52:24 PM
I've pissed on the Alamo before.
 
2014-02-07 06:27:09 PM

brimed03: KidneyStone: nuqneh: The fine and jail time aren't surprising, Texans are very proud of the Alamo.  The guy was from El Paso, he should have known better.

I agree.  But $4,000 for repairs?  Does he piss limestone-etching acid?

I'm sure part of that is punitive as an example to others. Sadly, there are pricks out there who would say, eff it, I can pay $500 *if* I get caught.

$4k makes even a drunk prick pause.


If it's something that they can't stop you doing, the penalty is usually stiff.
 
905
2014-02-07 07:17:36 PM

mbillips: Hang on, Bexar County is pronounced BAYR? That sounds suspiciously Messican.


"Bay-har" was how it was supposed to be pronounced.  Most local folks pronounce it like "Bear."

You could always spot a non-local when they would pronounce it "Bex-er"
 
2014-02-07 07:18:55 PM
I'm sure that the 'law'n'order' crowd would make breathing a felony, if they could get away with it.

Gotta fill those jails.
 
2014-02-07 07:21:11 PM
Do they have AA guns setup to shoot down offending pigeons?
 
2014-02-07 07:35:50 PM

porcupine tree: keithgabryelski:

settlers paid by Mexico to stay in the area (paid to citizens of Mexico -- their only job was to say "I'm Mexican" if anyone came around and asked)

they ended up reneging on the deal and said "this is america now" -- and santa ana kicked their ass for it.

so, yeah -- remember that a bunch of assholes stole land and pay from Mexico, then, when attacked for it, they ran into the church to hide, forgetting to spike their cannons, which were turned on them and they were obliterated.

You don't know shiat about Texas history. The 'Texians' didn't have issues with the Mexican govt. and considered themselves part of Mexico, until hardliners took over the Mexican government and threw out the Mexican constitution, dissolved congress and installed a military dictatorship, led by Santa Anna. Several mexican states also revolted, but Texas is the only one that succeeded.

How is it any different than how this entire farking country was formed? It's not! But this is Fark and bashing Texas makes you cool drool and witty shiatty, even if you don't know what the f*ck you're talking about, right?


This is a bit more accurate, I believe

To all the jealous non-Texans, obligatory Willie

www.morethings.com
 
2014-02-07 07:37:38 PM

keithgabryelski: Death Whisper: keithgabryelski: nuqneh: The fine and jail time aren't surprising, Texans are very proud of the Alamo.  The guy was from El Paso, he should have known better.

i have no idea why they are proud of the Alamo -- all this "remember the Alamo" crap.

settlers paid by Mexico to stay in the area (paid to citizens of Mexico -- their only job was to say "I'm Mexican" if anyone came around and asked)

they ended up reneging on the deal and said "this is america now" -- and santa ana kicked their ass for it.

so, yeah -- remember that a bunch of assholes stole land and pay from Mexico, then, when attacked for it, they ran into the church to hide, forgetting to spike their cannons, which were turned on them and they were obliterated.

I hate to disappoint you asshole, but there were Mexicans fighting along side the Texans in the Alamo who ended up being murdered by their own people. Stop being an ignoramus and quit listening to your leftist assclown buddies.

Which part of my statement was wrong?

That they took mexico's money and then stole the land?

That they got their ass kicked?

That they coward in a church?

Maybe that they didn't spike the cannons?

That they cannons were used to kill them? The dumbasses that stole land and money and instead of just leaving the area -- which would have been the smart thing to do when they didn't like what happened -- they stood against an impossible force and paid the obvious price


you are barely functionally literate, asswipe. go fark yourself
 
2014-02-07 08:11:55 PM
happydude45:

you are barely functionally literate, asswipe. go fark yourself

poor baby -- are you Texans such daffodils you can't handle the facts about your precious Alamo?

well, i say -- remember the Alamo! -- remember how foolish thieves acted and were appropriately punished for their deeds.

Let me guess -- you were home-schooled and also believe public schools should "teach the controversy"!

that would at least explain your misunderstanding of history.
 
2014-02-07 09:16:31 PM

Fuggin Bizzy: Texans are messing with Texas now?

/I'd piss on the Alamo just to troll Texans. I find this hilarious.


From Montana? Nothing in your state worth pissing on.
 
2014-02-07 10:46:51 PM

keithgabryelski: happydude45:

you are barely functionally literate, asswipe. go fark yourself

poor baby -- are you Texans such daffodils you can't handle the facts about your precious Alamo?

well, i say -- remember the Alamo! -- remember how foolish thieves acted and were appropriately punished for their deeds.

Let me guess -- you were home-schooled and also believe public schools should "teach the controversy"!

that would at least explain your misunderstanding of history.


Did Texas piss in your cheerios or something?
 
2014-02-07 11:08:27 PM

Maul555: keithgabryelski: happydude45:

you are barely functionally literate, asswipe. go fark yourself

poor baby -- are you Texans such daffodils you can't handle the facts about your precious Alamo?

well, i say -- remember the Alamo! -- remember how foolish thieves acted and were appropriately punished for their deeds.

Let me guess -- you were home-schooled and also believe public schools should "teach the controversy"!

that would at least explain your misunderstanding of history.

Did Texas piss in your cheerios or something?


i like Texas -- have had plenty of fun there, lived there when I was young and have family there now

i think the Alamo is a stupid thing to be proud of and the jingoism that goes hand-in-hand with "remember the Alamo" disgusts me.
 
2014-02-07 11:30:13 PM

keithgabryelski: Maul555: keithgabryelski: happydude45:

you are barely functionally literate, asswipe. go fark yourself

poor baby -- are you Texans such daffodils you can't handle the facts about your precious Alamo?

well, i say -- remember the Alamo! -- remember how foolish thieves acted and were appropriately punished for their deeds.

Let me guess -- you were home-schooled and also believe public schools should "teach the controversy"!

that would at least explain your misunderstanding of history.

Did Texas piss in your cheerios or something?

i like Texas -- have had plenty of fun there, lived there when I was young and have family there now

i think the Alamo is a stupid thing to be proud of and the jingoism that goes hand-in-hand with "remember the Alamo" disgusts me.


hrmm... interesting...

REMEMBER THE ALAMO!!!!   YEEEEE HAAAAAAAWWWWW!!!!!!
 
2014-02-07 11:34:46 PM
Pee member the Alamo?

Wee member the Alamo?
 
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