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(Portland Intelligencer)   Government spraying Portland, OR and other cities with deadly crystalline DHMO. Same shadowy government agency also implicated in thousands of dihydrogen monoxide deaths   (pdxintelligencer.com ) divider line
    More: Scary, City of Portland, human subject research  
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10764 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Feb 2014 at 9:52 AM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



80 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2014-02-07 08:25:03 AM  
ZOMGWTFBBQ!!!

CHEMTRAILS!
 
vpb [TotalFark]
2014-02-07 08:30:04 AM  
It's the crystalline form of Obamacare.  If you inhale it, you will only be able to eat halal food and you will begin to crave welfare.
 
2014-02-07 09:16:09 AM  
Now that's dragging a punchline out into the snow and shooting it in the brains.
 
2014-02-07 09:17:40 AM  
static2.wikia.nocookie.net

For fair consideration: crystalline entities have been known to be deadly.
 
2014-02-07 09:55:13 AM  
Wow, first time I've seen the abbreviation "DHMO" before.  Good jorb.
 
2014-02-07 09:55:34 AM  
evidence has shown the dhmo in solid form is especially dangerous for those trying to commute, it ruins the traction of tires and causes poor visibility
 
2014-02-07 09:56:19 AM  
I was shocked by a friend's rant about "chemtrails" the other day. I had always thought this was a sane person.

/water condenses... water evaporates, you can't explain that
 
2014-02-07 09:57:20 AM  
I would have expected The Onion to publish that. Well written.

My favorite part is the dehydrated (weaponized) version of DHMO being virtually undetectable.
 
2014-02-07 09:59:19 AM  
They know too much.

Send in the rogue helicopter pilot! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zA1hyqA6UTY
 
2014-02-07 10:00:49 AM  
That's about as funny as Meow said the Dog
 
2014-02-07 10:02:22 AM  

Arkanaut: Wow, first time I've seen the abbreviation "DHMO" before.  Good jorb.


You're new at life, eh?  ;)
 
2014-02-07 10:02:52 AM  
Haha, haha.  Jokes like this are being used to divert attention away from the CDC which just successfully test a new strain of the norovirus on a cruise ship (an isolated environment where they heath care).
 
2014-02-07 10:02:59 AM  
^---- I realize that was sarcasm.
 
2014-02-07 10:03:53 AM  

ChipNASA: That's about as funny as Meow said the Dog



No, the article was slightly funny.
 
2014-02-07 10:06:33 AM  
i239.photobucket.com
 
2014-02-07 10:11:11 AM  
Gah. They test that shiat on us every farking winter.

*twitch twitch*
 
2014-02-07 10:11:40 AM  
Crypto-wonder drug in vogue?

/no wait, that's DMSO
 
2014-02-07 10:12:55 AM  
www.thisiscolossal.com

You all just need to look through my special alien glasses and you'll see it all clearly...
 
2014-02-07 10:13:29 AM  
"where the fark are people like this born? I want to boycott the hospital."

-Area Man
 
2014-02-07 10:13:34 AM  
That was crazier than the rainbow-chemicals-in-the-sprinker lady.
 
2014-02-07 10:14:40 AM  
well....
 
2014-02-07 10:15:13 AM  

Dimensio: For fair consideration: crystalline entities have been known to be deadly.


Or friendly, if standoffish.

www.oocities.org
 
2014-02-07 10:17:05 AM  

mainstreet62: I would have expected The Onion to publish that. Well written.

My favorite part is the dehydrated (weaponized) version of DHMO being virtually undetectable.


They do call themselves "The City of Roses' finest artisanal newspaper", so maybe they're aspiring to become a local Onion.  Unless it's Poe's Law.
 
2014-02-07 10:18:04 AM  
Many municipalities have DHMO storage facilities.
 
2014-02-07 10:19:59 AM  

loonatic112358: evidence has shown the dhmo in solid form is especially dangerous for those trying to commute, it ruins the traction of tires and causes poor visibility


It's easily tamed with bourbon.
/but not in mine, I take it neat.
 
2014-02-07 10:23:44 AM  

Odd Bird: loonatic112358: evidence has shown the dhmo in solid form is especially dangerous for those trying to commute, it ruins the traction of tires and causes poor visibility

It's easily tamed with bourbon.
/but not in mine, I take it neat.



Bourbon has also been know to make cummuting more dangerous.
 
2014-02-07 10:26:04 AM  

give me doughnuts: Odd Bird: loonatic112358: evidence has shown the dhmo in solid form is especially dangerous for those trying to commute, it ruins the traction of tires and causes poor visibility

It's easily tamed with bourbon.
/but not in mine, I take it neat.


Bourbon has also been know to make cummuting more dangerous.


Bourbon makes a poor road surface as well, that's why you should use it as a fuel source and additive for your personal locomotion system


But if using Bourbon allow 4-6 hours before commutes
 
2014-02-07 10:31:30 AM  
Dammit I was hoping it was true. Getting rid of Portland wouldn't be all bad.
 
2014-02-07 10:32:20 AM  
Worst Day of the Year Ride Canceled Because of Bad Weather
http://www.wweek.com/portland/mobile/blogs/blogView/id:31223
 
2014-02-07 10:32:26 AM  
Dear Portland Intelligencer,

I find your views fascinating and would like to subscribe to your newletter.

Wait...What?
 
2014-02-07 10:35:43 AM  
Isn't spraying Portland with anything rather a case of carrying coals to Newcastle? When is Portland ever dry?
 
2014-02-07 10:36:55 AM  
LOL @ the comments:


Random stupid person:

February 6, 2014 at 7:06 pm

wow really???? so im guessin youve never seen snow let alone drivin in snow then???? also i hope you know that snow melts into water right?????

The writer:

>February 6, 2014 at 8:41 pm

where the fark are people like this born? I want to boycott the hospital.
 
2014-02-07 10:45:16 AM  
The Portland Intelligencer - The City of Roses' finest artisanal newspaper.

[ohyou.jpg]
 
2014-02-07 10:52:25 AM  

vudukungfu: ZOMGWTFBBQ!!!

CHEMTRAILS!


What is sad is that I know one person who firmly and completely believes that "chemtrails" are actually a thing. To be fair, he believes lots of other stupid conspiracy theories too.
 
2014-02-07 10:52:54 AM  
No the spraying stopped. Evergreen shut down and DMS had no heir apparentsince mark doesn't care about aviation. The big impact is on the California drought. That Supertanker was keeping the clouds seeded.
 
2014-02-07 10:57:56 AM  

theorellior: Dimensio: For fair consideration: crystalline entities have been known to be deadly.

Or friendly, if standoffish.

[www.oocities.org image 224x124]



sirian.warpcore.org

No, those guys are usually assholes, and no one likes dealing with them.
 
2014-02-07 10:58:42 AM  

Arkanaut: mainstreet62: I would have expected The Onion to publish that. Well written.

My favorite part is the dehydrated (weaponized) version of DHMO being virtually undetectable.

They do call themselves "The City of Roses' finest artisanal newspaper", so maybe they're aspiring to become a local Onion.   Unless it's Poe's Law.


It's a pretty safe bet that this is satire;

 - Was deliberately fed, in liquid form, to dogs bred for fighting by Michael Vick.

/I LOL'd
 
2014-02-07 10:59:56 AM  
30 years of drug use (prescription and otherwise) will get you some Paranoia, my friends.
 
2014-02-07 11:02:19 AM  
that's not rain, its liquid sunshine.
 
2014-02-07 11:02:23 AM  

mainstreet62: I would have expected The Onion to publish that. Well written.

My favorite part is the dehydrated (weaponized) version of DHMO being virtually undetectable.


Early Onion maybe, but they can be much more subtle when they need to be. These guys tipped their hand a bit early, and I was looking for indicators of a satire piece about 3 sentences in.

Still funny, I loved it, just not as good of satire as I've seen elsewhere.
 
2014-02-07 11:02:51 AM  

JohnnyC: vudukungfu: ZOMGWTFBBQ!!!

CHEMTRAILS!

What is sad is that I know one person who firmly and completely believes that "chemtrails" are actually a thing. To be fair, he believes lots of other stupid conspiracy theories too.



What is the theory that it never happened or that it's still on going?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operation_Dew

Operation Dew refers to two separate field trials conducted by the United States in the 1950s. The tests were designed to study the behavior of aerosol-released biological agents.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operation_Popeye

Operation Popeye (Project Popeye/Motorpool/Intermediary-Compatriot) was a highly classified weather modification program in Southeast Asia during 1967-1972. The cloud seeding operation during the Vietnam war ran from March 20, 1967 until July 5, 1972 in an attempt to extend the monsoon season, specifically over areas of the Ho Chi Minh Trail. The operation was used to induce rain and extend the East Asian Monsoon season in support of U.S. government efforts related to the War in Southeast Asia.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Project_Stormfury

Project Stormfury was an attempt to weaken tropical cyclones by flying aircraft into them and seeding with silver iodide. The project was run by the United States Government from 1962 to 1983.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operation_Vegetarian

Operation Vegetarian was a British military plan in 1942 to disseminate linseed cakes infected with anthrax spores onto the fields of Germany. These cakes would have been eaten by the cattle, which would then be consumed by the civilian population, causing the deaths of millions of German citizens. Furthermore, it would have wiped out the majority of Germany's cattle, creating a massive food shortage for the rest of the population that remained uninfected.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Project_112

Project 112 was a biological and chemical weapon experimentation project conducted by the United States Department of Defense from 1962 to 1973. The project started under John F. Kennedy's administration, and was authorized by his Secretary of Defense Robert McNamara, as part of a total review of the US military.
 
2014-02-07 11:03:12 AM  
Early Onion maybe, but they can be much more subtle when they need to be. These guys tipped their hand a bit early, and I was looking for indicators of a satire piece about 3 sentences in.

Still funny, I loved it, just not as good of satire as I've seen elsewhere.
 
2014-02-07 11:04:19 AM  

mutterfark: I was shocked by a friend's rant about "chemtrails" the other day. I had always thought this was a sane person.

/water condenses... water evaporates, you can't explain that


I've heard some batshiat insane conspiracies but the ones that always make me chuckle are ELF/ Chemtrails and "illuminati".

Of those Chemtrails is the easiest to explain but the hardest to get them to change their mind on.
 
2014-02-07 11:06:02 AM  

Mikey1969: mainstreet62: I would have expected The Onion to publish that. Well written.

My favorite part is the dehydrated (weaponized) version of DHMO being virtually undetectable.

Early Onion maybe, but they can be much more subtle when they need to be. These guys tipped their hand a bit early, and I was looking for indicators of a satire piece about 3 sentences in.

Still funny, I loved it, just not as good of satire as I've seen elsewhere.


Kliban haz a good illustration of 'satire'
 
2014-02-07 11:07:02 AM  
Was deliberately fed, in liquid form, to dogs bred for fighting by Michael Vick. [7]

I farking spit hot chocolate on my phone....
 
2014-02-07 11:07:21 AM  
Your blog sucks.
 
2014-02-07 11:14:34 AM  
I also heard their epidermis was showing.

/film at 11
 
2014-02-07 11:27:28 AM  
What about the DHMO that they force us to use every day?

And I happen to live in Florida... I am almost surrounded by DHMO... some "fresh" and some "salty"
 
2014-02-07 11:27:49 AM  

youmightberight: Of those Chemtrails is the easiest to explain but the hardest to get them to change their mind on.


When I delved into the depths of the chemtrail rabbit hole a while back, I was highly amused to find so many layers of nuance to the paranoia. My favorite enhancement to the conspiracy: single contrails are perfectly normal water condensation from jet engines, but if you see two cross each other, that's part of the seeding grid to make the population docile/spread abortifacients/control global warming. You can tell because they look more oily and have a rainbow sheen. Yes, really. You have to look very carefully to see it.
 
2014-02-07 11:34:12 AM  

theorellior: youmightberight: Of those Chemtrails is the easiest to explain but the hardest to get them to change their mind on.

When I delved into the depths of the chemtrail rabbit hole a while back, I was highly amused to find so many layers of nuance to the paranoia. My favorite enhancement to the conspiracy: single contrails are perfectly normal water condensation from jet engines, but if you see two cross each other, that's part of the seeding grid to make the population docile/spread abortifacients/control global warming. You can tell because they look more oily and have a rainbow sheen. Yes, really. You have to look very carefully to see it.


You'd think watching the news would convince people chemtrails don't exist, folks aren't getting more docile


maybe they're trying to make reavers
 
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