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(io9)   What's the best way to see how bipedal dinosaurs would've walked millions of years ago? Stick a small plunger on a chicken's ass and watch the results   (io9.com) divider line 66
    More: Amusing, dinosaurs, center of mass, chickens, femur, paces  
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4414 clicks; posted to Geek » on 06 Feb 2014 at 4:54 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



66 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-02-06 03:03:33 PM  
I dunno... my plunger is pretty fowl already.
 
2014-02-06 04:37:44 PM  
And it also protects them from Fox News' advances
 
2014-02-06 04:47:01 PM  
So scientists had to Intelligently Design chickens into dinosaurs?
 
2014-02-06 04:58:53 PM  
i.qkme.me
 
2014-02-06 05:00:59 PM  
img.thesun.co.uk
 
2014-02-06 05:01:00 PM  
Boom boom Shaka laka boom boom
 
2014-02-06 05:03:01 PM  
Or just open up the door get on the floor.
 
2014-02-06 05:06:10 PM  
Do you suppose bipedal dinosaurs bobbed their heads like chickens do too? That would make T. Rex a little less terrifying.
 
2014-02-06 05:06:50 PM  
I can get a good look at a T-bone by sticking my head up a bull's ass, but I'd rather take a butcher's word for it.  Or something.
 
2014-02-06 05:07:40 PM  
So, normal Thursday afternoon?

cgraves67: Do you suppose bipedal dinosaurs bobbed their heads like chickens do too? That would make T. Rex a little less terrifying.


Probably. Lizards do that too, when they're looking around.
 
2014-02-06 05:12:59 PM  
dryknife:

img.fark.net

Cool.... we now eat dinosaurs! They evolved into our food!
 
2014-02-06 05:14:01 PM  
You know when you're getting old when:

--TRex gets downgraded from upright vicious killer, to hunched over scavenger, then put back to hunter.
--The Flintstones would have ordered Apatoburgers, since the Bronto never existed.
 
2014-02-06 05:14:03 PM  
At first I read the headline as "Stick a small plunger IN a chicken's ass" and I was all WTF are you perverts doing?  Then I realized chicken's don't HAVE asses, per se.  So... there's that.  Still, I'm gonna make some popcorn in case any PETA types make the same mistake I did and come a-ragin' into this thread.  Also, a nice stiff drink to erase that awful image from my brain.
 
2014-02-06 05:20:01 PM  

LesserEvil: dryknife:

[img.fark.net image 682x263]

Cool.... we now eat dinosaurs! They evolved into our food!


We probably would have eaten them even if they were still giant lizards.

Tasty, warm blooded lizards.
 
2014-02-06 05:27:42 PM  
Thanks scientists, we didnt want a flying cars or a cure for cancer or a mr fusion anyways, this was way more important.
 
2014-02-06 05:28:58 PM  

palelizard: So, normal Thursday afternoon?

cgraves67: Do you suppose bipedal dinosaurs bobbed their heads like chickens do too? That would make T. Rex a little less terrifying.

Probably. Lizards do that too, when they're looking around.


The bobbing of a birds head is more about flight control, they keep their head absolutely stationary, its their bodies that are moving technically. T-Rex possibly has some tiny bit of head bobbing, but I doubt they managed to keep their heads perfectly stationary.
 
2014-02-06 05:30:10 PM  
Used to skate past an ostrich "farm." Those farkers are fast.
 
2014-02-06 05:30:38 PM  

Oldiron_79: Thanks scientists, we didnt want a flying cars or a cure for cancer or a mr fusion anyways, this was way more important.


wait until you read their report on the effects of weightlessness on tiny screws.

/said your mo...
//oh I guess it doesn't work there
///say thanks for coming
 
2014-02-06 05:34:16 PM  

MindStalker: The bobbing of a birds head is more about flight control, they keep their head absolutely stationary, its their bodies that are moving technically. T-Rex possibly has some tiny bit of head bobbing, but I doubt they managed to keep their heads perfectly stationary.


Any T-Rex near me can do whatever it damn well wants to.
As long as I'm faster than you.
 
2014-02-06 05:35:52 PM  
But would a dinosaur's butthole touch the kitchen counter when he sat down?
 
2014-02-06 05:37:50 PM  
Boy, did I misread that.
 
2014-02-06 05:42:14 PM  
"No, you stick the plunger on the dinosaur!"
 
2014-02-06 05:55:16 PM  

fickenchucker: You know when you're getting old when:

--TRex gets downgraded from upright vicious killer, to hunched over scavenger, then put back to hunter.
--The Flintstones would have ordered Apatoburgers, since the Bronto never existed.


I don't think the 'T. rex was a pure scavenger' thing was ever really widely accepted. And the Flintstones never really existed either, so who cares what they call the dinosaur meat?

/Brontosaurus is still a better name.
 
2014-02-06 06:04:31 PM  

Oldiron_79: Thanks scientists, we didnt want a flying cars or a cure for cancer or a mr fusion anyways, this was way more important.


I seriously doubt the sort of scientists who are studying how dinosaurs would walk are the sorts of scientists who would be researching flying cars, cancer or fusion in the first place.
 
2014-02-06 06:04:56 PM  
Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken. Sticking a plunger up a chicken's butt does not make it a dinosaur!
 
2014-02-06 06:15:20 PM  
LordJiro: fickenchucker: You know when you're getting old when:

--TRex gets downgraded from upright vicious killer, to hunched over scavenger, then put back to hunter.
--The Flintstones would have ordered Apatoburgers, since the Bronto never existed.

I don't think the 'T. rex was a pure scavenger' thing was ever really widely accepted. And the Flintstones never really existed either, so who cares what they call the dinosaur meat?

/Brontosaurus is still a better name.


Well the T rex as a scavenger thing was almost soley the theory of Jack Horner who was more or less mad that people always want to ask about T rex and he was mainly into dromaeosaurs. The are enough fossils of healed injuries with broken off T rex in prey species to say Horner was full of shiat.
 
2014-02-06 06:15:42 PM  

LesserEvil: dryknife:

[img.fark.net image 682x263]

Cool.... we now eat dinosaurs! They evolved into our food!


We've been drinking dino-water for a while now....
 
2014-02-06 06:15:50 PM  
I've had ostrich steak and I imagine that is much like what dinosaur tasted like. It's a nice lean red meat.
 
2014-02-06 06:16:55 PM  

LordJiro: /Brontosaurus is still a better name.


No such thing.
 
2014-02-06 06:18:24 PM  

sendtodave: LesserEvil: dryknife:

[img.fark.net image 682x263]

Cool.... we now eat dinosaurs! They evolved into our food!

We probably would have eaten them even if they were still giant lizards.

Tasty, warm blooded lizards.


Talk to me when we get to eat Terror-bird steaks.

/Although the closest thing might be ostrich
 
2014-02-06 06:18:36 PM  

Oldiron_79: LordJiro: fickenchucker: You know when you're getting old when:

--TRex gets downgraded from upright vicious killer, to hunched over scavenger, then put back to hunter.
--The Flintstones would have ordered Apatoburgers, since the Bronto never existed.

I don't think the 'T. rex was a pure scavenger' thing was ever really widely accepted. And the Flintstones never really existed either, so who cares what they call the dinosaur meat?

/Brontosaurus is still a better name.

Well the T rex as a scavenger thing was almost soley the theory of Jack Horner who was more or less mad that people always want to ask about T rex and he was mainly into dromaeosaurs. The are enough fossils of healed injuries with broken off T rex in prey species to say Horner was full of shiat.


Chicken don't want to be fed. He want to hunt!
 
2014-02-06 06:22:34 PM  

LordJiro: Or just open up the door get on the floor.


Hello, dad. I'm in jail!
 
2014-02-06 06:28:38 PM  
Wow is the story different when you read the headline correctly! Who knew one letter could make such a difference?
 
2014-02-06 06:30:22 PM  

cgraves67: Do you suppose bipedal dinosaurs bobbed their heads like chickens do too? That would make T. Rex a little less terrifying.


I don't know.  If you ever get a chance to get up and personal with a chicken, imagine them the size of a Tyrannosaur.  They have a real reptilian look to them, and don't look like they would hesitate a second to make you lunch if they had the size advantage.

imageshack.com
Now, I'm not saying you should be scared of chickens, but if you were bug sized, they'd pretty much be your worst nightmare.  Bobbing head or not.
 
2014-02-06 06:53:54 PM  
LesserEvil:

Cool.... we now eat dinosaurs! They evolved into our food!

imgs.xkcd.com
 
2014-02-06 06:56:35 PM  
gaygeek.com.au
 
2014-02-06 07:01:06 PM  

LesserEvil: dryknife:

[img.fark.net image 682x263]

Cool.... we now eat dinosaurs! They evolved into our food!


Karma's a tasty biatch!
 
2014-02-06 07:06:54 PM  

FunkOut: I've had ostrich steak and I imagine that is much like what dinosaur tasted like. It's a nice lean red meat.


I'll bet dino meat was delicious.
 
2014-02-06 07:10:31 PM  

Skleenar: cgraves67: Do you suppose bipedal dinosaurs bobbed their heads like chickens do too? That would make T. Rex a little less terrifying.

I don't know.  If you ever get a chance to get up and personal with a chicken, imagine them the size of a Tyrannosaur.  They have a real reptilian look to them, and don't look like they would hesitate a second to make you lunch if they had the size advantage.

[imageshack.com image 749x500]
Now, I'm not saying you should be scared of chickens, but if you were bug sized, they'd pretty much be your worst nightmare.  Bobbing head or not.


It never occurred to me that birds are dinosaurs until I read that perhaps 10 years ago. Now I can't unsee the dinosaur face in a plain old chicken.

goaim.org
 
2014-02-06 07:10:55 PM  

Oldiron_79: Thanks scientists, we didnt want a flying cars or a cure for cancer or a mr fusion anyways, this was way more important.


Would you really want a paleozoologist designing flying cars for you?
 
2014-02-06 07:26:47 PM  

ColonelCathcart: LesserEvil: dryknife:

[img.fark.net image 682x263]

Cool.... we now eat dinosaurs! They evolved into our food!

Karma's a tasty biatch!


And interestingly, it's not the FIRST time that this was the case.

Admittedly, the last time that synapsids like us were noshing on dinosaurs regularly, it was pretty far back when both we and the dinosaurs bore a bit more of a resemblance to warm-blooded not-lizards right at the Permian-Triassic boundary, but... :D

(Yes, it's well within reason that some of our ancestors ate dinosaurs.  The line of therapsids that eventually spawned mammaliforms (including us)--the cynodonts--did make it past the Great Dying, and probably did catch and eat the earliest dinosaurs and dinosauromorphs.)

It's also well within reason that possibly one day birds could take the Top Predator Spot back if another major extinction event happened...oh, something like the extinction event that wiped out pretty much all the dinosaurs except for the theropod insectivorous-bat-analogues.  (I'll note, for the record, that synapsids and archosauromorphs have been swapping the Top Predator spot back and forth almost from the time that amniotes forked from the rest of the Tetrapoda and the "Reptilia" (sensu Squamata) and synapsids forked from each other.)
 
2014-02-06 07:28:45 PM  
Cthulhu_is_my_homeboy: Oldiron_79: Thanks scientists, we didnt want a flying cars or a cure for cancer or a mr fusion anyways, this was way more important.

Would you really want a paleozoologist designing flying cars for you?


Pterodactyl car.
 
2014-02-06 07:45:54 PM  
s3.amazonaws.com
 
2014-02-06 07:52:23 PM  

FueledByEthanol: [s3.amazonaws.com image 720x403]


Ha! Awesome.

It's almost hypnotic after a while
 
2014-02-06 08:17:21 PM  

CygnusDarius: sendtodave: LesserEvil: dryknife:

[img.fark.net image 682x263]

Cool.... we now eat dinosaurs! They evolved into our food!

We probably would have eaten them even if they were still giant lizards.

Tasty, warm blooded lizards.

Talk to me when we get to eat Terror-bird steaks.

/Although the closest thing might be ostrich


Terror-bird? Come on. A bird would have to be like 100 feet tall to be scary.
 
2014-02-06 08:24:55 PM  

mattador: CygnusDarius: sendtodave: LesserEvil: dryknife:

[img.fark.net image 682x263]

Cool.... we now eat dinosaurs! They evolved into our food!

We probably would have eaten them even if they were still giant lizards.

Tasty, warm blooded lizards.

Talk to me when we get to eat Terror-bird steaks.

/Although the closest thing might be ostrich

Terror-bird? Come on. A bird would have to be like 100 feet tall to be scary.


It's not the size that matters nowadays, it's the numbers.

i.imgur.com

cdn.arwrath.com

They will find you. And they will kill you.
 
2014-02-06 08:28:22 PM  

cgraves67: Do you suppose bipedal dinosaurs bobbed their heads like chickens do too? That would make T. Rex a little less terrifying.


Chickens bob their heads because their eyes are on opposite sides. Like most predators, T. rex has forward-facing eyes and thus wouldn't need to bob it's heads because it would have had 3-d vision and wouldn't need to keep its head level with the ground to see around it without everything becoming a blur while it moves forward..
 
2014-02-06 08:31:19 PM  
Here's a question:  why didn't they use a pheasant or a peacock?
 
2014-02-06 08:33:58 PM  

LordJiro: Oldiron_79: Thanks scientists, we didnt want a flying cars or a cure for cancer or a mr fusion anyways, this was way more important.

I seriously doubt the sort of scientists who are studying how dinosaurs would walk are the sorts of scientists who would be researching flying cars, cancer or fusion in the first place.


Maybe that's what we're doing wrong.
 
2014-02-06 08:37:19 PM  

brantgoose: Here's a question:  why didn't they use a pheasant or a peacock?


'cause it's not funny.
 
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