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(Buzzfeed)   Audible decides to hire a celebrity to record a D&D audiobook. Fark: Ice-T   (buzzfeed.com) divider line 74
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2190 clicks; posted to Geek » on 06 Feb 2014 at 2:43 PM (24 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



74 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-02-06 02:08:21 PM
I really just want to hear the outtakes.
 
2014-02-06 02:27:43 PM
Anyone have any idea which book? Ive got a few audible credits this month.
 
2014-02-06 02:31:09 PM
This is the kind of shiat I would do if I won the lottery.
 
2014-02-06 02:50:57 PM

Tr0mBoNe: This is the kind of shiat I would do if I won the lottery.


That's evil.  DO IT!
 
2014-02-06 02:57:30 PM
Mr. T would be more epic, but I guess it would be interesting.
 
2014-02-06 02:57:45 PM
Witches get stitches.
 
2014-02-06 02:58:49 PM
Drizzt is  Crip.
 
2014-02-06 02:58:56 PM

Tr0mBoNe: This is the kind of shiat I would do if I won the lottery.


If I won the lottery Id pay to have Betty White read 50shades of gray on audiobook.
 
2014-02-06 02:59:22 PM
I'D LIKE TO TAKE AN ELF OUT IN THIS PARKING LOT, AND STAB HIM IN HIS MOTHERfarkIN FACE
 
2014-02-06 03:00:57 PM
What were we talking about? Pegasuses, pegasii, that's horses with wings. This motherf*cker got a sword that talks to him. Motherf*cker  live in places that don't exist, it comes with a map. My God.

hahahaha
 
2014-02-06 03:03:03 PM
Today was a good day
I didn't even have to use my trebuchet.
 
2014-02-06 03:04:40 PM
It comes with a map.
 
2014-02-06 03:06:03 PM
I see no problem with this. It would be pretty cool.
 
2014-02-06 03:10:19 PM
Fireball, mother farker!
 
2014-02-06 03:11:03 PM
media2.giphy.com
 
2014-02-06 03:14:32 PM
I don't know about you guys, but I would love to listen to an entire album of rappers trying to read.
 
2014-02-06 03:16:02 PM

Rip_Rufus: Today was a good day
I didn't even have to use my trebuchet.


*sigh
 
2014-02-06 03:18:31 PM
Sounds interesting. I have never payed D&D tabeltop, just some games based off the rules and world.

I only recently got into listening to podcasts about a year and a half ago and through osmosis I ended up listening to "Dungeons and Randomness". That's pretty amusing.

It always looked that books based in D&D lore were generic fantasy and kind of meh. Ice-T could get me in the door.
 
2014-02-06 03:24:26 PM
So, uh...which book was it?
 
2014-02-06 03:26:57 PM
I would pay to hear Ice-T read a chapter about the heroes being attacked by a dread Gazebo. With outtakes.
 
2014-02-06 03:31:06 PM
Should have been Vin Diesel.
 
2014-02-06 03:31:15 PM
"Rape and pillage, loot and burn, but all in moderation
If you do the things we say, you'll soon rule a nation
Slaughter all your enemies, then kill your relations,
Rape and pillage, loot and burn, but all in moderation!"

/Now imagine Ice-T performing that
 
2014-02-06 03:33:14 PM
Paladin Killer!
Yeah!

I got my black gauntlets on
I got my Helm of Brilliance on
I got my torch turned off
I'm 'bout to bust some bolts off
I'm about to dust some paladins off
 
2014-02-06 03:36:45 PM
From the article:
I did this thing, I read an audiobook for Audible.... OK they didn't tell me that this was a mother****ing Dungeons and Dragons book. Now those of y'all out there that don't know, Dungeons and Dragons is some crazy deep, deep, deep nerd shiat.
So every word is made up, mother****ers talk like Yoda. How do you read this shiat?
It took me three and half hours to read 25 pages. I'm only reading a short story it's like 45 pages, I have to do it in two days. I'm walking in there like 'I got this, I get three hours'. I needed breaks, I needed water.
Considering the way music is right now, you're better off listening to a book, it's more entertaining, honestly.



Hella cool, if you ask me.
 
2014-02-06 03:36:56 PM

Rip_Rufus: Today was a good day
I didn't even have to use my trebuchet.


I had to look that one up.
Nice use of medieval weaponry in a fark thread!
 
2014-02-06 03:39:02 PM

VimFuego: Rip_Rufus: Today was a good day
I didn't even have to use my trebuchet.

I had to look that one up.
Nice use of medieval weaponry in a fark thread!


yet Ice t didn't rap the song he is referencing
 
2014-02-06 03:42:25 PM
Is this a proxy thread for complaining about BuzzFeed Featured Partner links?
 
2014-02-06 03:44:59 PM

Black_Lazerus: VimFuego: Rip_Rufus: Today was a good day
I didn't even have to use my trebuchet.

I had to look that one up.
Nice use of medieval weaponry in a fark thread!

yet Ice t didn't rap the song he is referencing


I assumed that was part of the joke.  Surely Mr. Rufus knows his Ice T from his Ice Cube.
 
2014-02-06 03:45:32 PM

Black_Lazerus: VimFuego: Rip_Rufus: Today was a good day
I didn't even have to use my trebuchet.

I had to look that one up.
Nice use of medieval weaponry in a fark thread!

yet Ice t didn't rap the song he is referencing


A: that was the joke.
2: I didn't count on a guy named Black_Lazerus seeing it.
 
2014-02-06 03:47:19 PM

Tr0mBoNe: This is the kind of shiat I would do if I won the lottery.


Plus you could be in the studio personally, constantly asking him if "it was a good day".
 
2014-02-06 03:47:28 PM

Oldiron_79: Tr0mBoNe: This is the kind of shiat I would do if I won the lottery.

If I won the lottery Id pay to have Betty White read 50shades of gray on audiobook.


It's already been done far better (worse?).
 
2014-02-06 03:50:08 PM
b.vimeocdn.com
/hot
//The eye of Odin opens... 16 titties fall out.
 
2014-02-06 03:52:48 PM

Boojum2k: "Rape and pillage, loot and burn, but all in moderation
If you do the things we say, you'll soon rule a nation
Slaughter all your enemies, then kill your relations,
Rape and pillage, loot and burn, but all in moderation!"

/Now imagine Ice-T performing that


I ran it through an ebonics pimp translator for fun:

Yo "Rape an' pillage, loot an' burn, but all in moderation
If you do da things we's say, you'll soon rule uh nation
Slaughter all yo' enemies, then kill yo' relations,
Rape an' pillage, loot an' burn, but all in moderation!" slap mah fro!
 
2014-02-06 03:54:35 PM

jayhawk88: Tr0mBoNe: This is the kind of shiat I would do if I won the lottery.

Plus you could be in the studio personally, constantly asking him if "it was a good day".


Shiat, someone beat me too it.

Try #2:

Plus you could be in the studio personally, constantly telling him you love his work in Heartbreak Ridge.
 
2014-02-06 03:56:14 PM

Lucky LaRue: What were we talking about? Pegasuses, pegasii, that's horses with wings. This motherf*cker got a sword that talks to him. Motherf*cker  live in places that don't exist, it comes with a map. My God.

hahahaha


I like how the article bleeped the first "motherfarker", but not the second.
 
2014-02-06 04:10:57 PM

Oldiron_79: Tr0mBoNe: This is the kind of shiat I would do if I won the lottery.

If I won the lottery Id pay to have Betty White read 50shades of gray on audiobook.


Kickstarter that.  Now.
 
2014-02-06 04:16:17 PM

Skyrmion: Lucky LaRue: What were we talking about? Pegasuses, pegasii, that's horses with wings. This motherf*cker got a sword that talks to him. Motherf*cker  live in places that don't exist, it comes with a map. My God.

hahahaha

I like how the article bleeped the first "motherfarker", but not the second.


Came here for this.  Does the Iceberg put his own asterisks in, or did the article f*ck that up?  Because yeah, I liked how it blipped every motherf*ckin' 'motherf*cker' except the very last one.  Right on.
 
2014-02-06 04:36:22 PM
I'm pretty sure I would pay $50 to listen to this audio book.  Genius on their behalf.
 
2014-02-06 04:51:18 PM
 
2014-02-06 04:52:43 PM
I sometimes forget that Ice-T has the exact opposite career path of most rappers.  Instead of being a suburban upper-middle-class kid with an MFA that decided to make money off of ignorant people, he actually grew up in poverty in a bad area, and developed his talent into skill in order to get the fark out.

I attribute to this the fact that the dude is clever, funny as all hell, and actually has decent acting range and real charm where most other rappers are just kinda douchebags.
 
2014-02-06 04:58:42 PM

Well I use Mac/Linux...: I'm pretty sure I would pay $50 to listen to this audio book.  Genius on their behalf.


Only in unedited, 3.5 hours/25 pages form.
 
2014-02-06 05:52:14 PM

Uncle Pooky: Well I use Mac/Linux...: I'm pretty sure I would pay $50 to listen to this audio book.  Genius on their behalf.

Only in unedited, 3.5 hours/25 pages form.


Ya. I'd probably pay 50$ for that. It sounds epic.

/First dnd run ever in like 2 weeks
//PHB only, 28 point buy, 5 players, non picked classes
///Going rogue I think, don't like magic
 
2014-02-06 06:05:08 PM
Ice-T:   Considering the way music is right now, you're better off listening to a book, it's more entertaining, honestly.

I like Ice-T.  His first few albums were in constant rotation in my Walkman.  But what has gotten the man so down about the way music is right now?

Does he mean the industry?

Or just the quality of music?

I find great stuff to listen to everyday.  Hell, cruising through Bandcamp is tons of fun.
 
2014-02-06 06:05:58 PM
I just spit dr pepper out my nose when I read this.
 
2014-02-06 06:09:34 PM
I always pictured him as Elijah Baley in the robots series.
 
2014-02-06 06:16:52 PM

Mad_Radhu: [media2.giphy.com image 372x229]


WTH is that from?
 
2014-02-06 06:31:07 PM
Funny as hell d&d videos:

Not work safe language

01 - Gnome Rape

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qGRWUZxuZhM&hd=1

02 - Food Fight
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Dso1do-VTo&hd=1

03 - Titters and the American Pocket
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aqJ4rilgrjU&hd=1
 
2014-02-06 06:44:07 PM

ArcadianRefugee: Mad_Radhu: [media2.giphy.com image 372x229]

WTH is that from?


The D&D episode of Community, which I highly recommend.
 
2014-02-06 06:48:44 PM

Ambitwistor: Should have been Vin Diesel.


i1.ytimg.com
 
2014-02-06 06:48:50 PM
I am a halfling stalkin
A psycho-mage talkin
Nerd in a castle
Just a geek-ster wand-in'
Livin' life all vicarious
The dice are my muse
Roll die against me
And you're rollin' to lose

/or something
 
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