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(Slate)   "Dear Prudence: How do I tell my son he's a literal bastard?"   (slate.com) divider line 258
    More: Silly, Berklee College of Music, sex steroid  
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14394 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Feb 2014 at 9:46 AM (46 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



258 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-02-06 07:55:12 AM  
"Son, you're a bastard."
 
2014-02-06 07:56:24 AM  
Wait till he's got the flu. That way, you can call him literally one sick bastard...
 
2014-02-06 08:00:56 AM  
"Well son, it started off with me being a lying whore..."
 
2014-02-06 08:07:09 AM  
Pro-tip for mothers:  Don't call your male child a "son of a biatch".
 
2014-02-06 08:08:22 AM  
I thought the headline said 'liberal' bastard... which made this a weird because this stupid lying whore shouldn't be criticizing anyone's choices.
 
2014-02-06 08:08:35 AM  
Just wait until you have to explain the word "cuckold."
 
2014-02-06 08:09:10 AM  
Advice column fan-fic, awesome!
 
2014-02-06 08:14:45 AM  
"Hey son, we are gonna get a pay out as soon as I sue your real dad for all that back child support he never paid. You get half."
 
2014-02-06 08:32:38 AM  
Biology is just how we formed as babbys.  Your parents are the ones who loved and raised you.  End of story.
 
2014-02-06 08:44:31 AM  

gopher321: "Well son, it started off with me being a lying whore..."


Pretty much this.
Mommy's a slut.
Poppa was a rollin' stone.
 
2014-02-06 08:50:28 AM  

vudukungfu: gopher321: "Well son, it started off with me being a lying whore..."

Pretty much this.
Mommy's a slut.
Poppa was a rollin' stone.


Mick Jagger is the father?
 
2014-02-06 09:04:36 AM  
Just hire someone to kill the biological father.  I don't understand why people who write to Prudie make things so complicated.
 
2014-02-06 09:06:43 AM  
Son after nearly a quarter of a century and now having no legal fiscal responsibility for you, your biological father wants to take you out for coffee.

Feel free to stab him in the eye with a spork.
 
2014-02-06 09:07:13 AM  
They should wash that game of thrones episode with him where they kill all the bastards then say 'son we have good news and bad news! The good news is you don't live in medieval times!'
 
2014-02-06 09:21:32 AM  
Maybe if she really stressed how much of a slut she was, it might lessen the sting.
 
2014-02-06 09:33:11 AM  
From the headline I thought the question would be about a kid being too literal, not about a bastard.
 
2014-02-06 09:47:34 AM  
Son, you'll never be King. Or receive an inheritance. Or be respected by society.
 
2014-02-06 09:50:31 AM  

Lsherm: Maybe if she really stressed how much of a slut she was, it might lessen the sting.


Sluts use birth control. It's the one-off, non-slutty girls that forget.

/sluts
 
2014-02-06 09:50:54 AM  
Just play him the first verse of Pearl Jam's "Alive."
 
2014-02-06 09:50:55 AM  
Grim times for mommy's little lust fueled snowflake

img.fark.net
 
2014-02-06 09:51:19 AM  
Hey, what's going on in this thread?

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2014-02-06 09:51:23 AM  
Call Maury.
 
2014-02-06 09:52:09 AM  
Gotta let a ho be a ho.
 
2014-02-06 09:52:58 AM  
Son, you'll never be King. Or receive an inheritance. Or be respected by society.

images.wikia.com

Says you.
 
2014-02-06 09:53:55 AM  

baconbeard: Son, you'll never be King. Or receive an inheritance. Or be respected by society.



William the Conqueror was illegitimate.
So if this kid can scrape together an army and take over another country, he has an outside change of being king.
 
2014-02-06 09:54:31 AM  
This second letter's lots more interesting. Let's comment on that:

Dear Prudence,

I am a teacher at a small community college. I strongly suspect that one of my new students this semester is a trans woman. My problem is that I'm a voice teacher. If I'm right, her larynx has been affected by testosterone, and is functionally male. Even if she's taking female hormones, the voice changes that puberty brings are permanent. For example, she will be reaching her high notes in falsetto, which requires slightly different technique from that used by a cis woman singing in head voice. But even using the word "falsetto" to describe her high notes seems insulting to me, with its implication that she's using a "false" voice. I can't think of a good way to initiate a conversation about this, but avoiding the issue may compromise how much I can help her sing better. Can I go to my supervisor for advice without violating her privacy? And, dear God, what if I'm wrong?
-Finding Her Voice
 
2014-02-06 09:57:02 AM  
A selfish woman gets knocked up by a man, and convinces a lesser man to raise someone else's offspring, and lies to the kid about it, and she's concerned about that kid having his biological father in his life?

It sounds like the bio father is the least repugnant character in this whole situation.
 
2014-02-06 09:57:57 AM  
Dear Son,

Apparently I suck at being a parent. Which is pretty hard to do, seeing as how I raised a millennial and you should not be some weird 1850's time traveler who is unaware of the fact that marriage is no longer required to have kids. So, yes, you were born out of wedlock with another man I boinked for a free dinner once in a while. Happy Birthday.

Love,
Bad Mother.
 
2014-02-06 09:58:12 AM  
Mom needs to tell her son for medical reasons. They've been providing her son the wrong family history information for 20 years.

Knowing the actual family history could end up saving his life (unlikely, but possible), but even the non-life-threatening information might be helpful. "Hey, did you know that your uncle and grandpa have this mild intolerance for food X? Or get weird hives when given drug Y?"
 
2014-02-06 09:58:27 AM  
Two words: Maury Povitch.
That is all.  He'll get the picture soon enough.
 
2014-02-06 09:58:39 AM  
Metaphorically.
 
2014-02-06 09:59:47 AM  

markfara: This second letter's lots more interesting. Let's comment on that:

Dear Prudence,

I am a teacher at a small community college. I strongly suspect that one of my new students this semester is a trans woman. My problem is that I'm a voice teacher. If I'm right, her larynx has been affected by testosterone, and is functionally male. Even if she's taking female hormones, the voice changes that puberty brings are permanent. For example, she will be reaching her high notes in falsetto, which requires slightly different technique from that used by a cis woman singing in head voice. But even using the word "falsetto" to describe her high notes seems insulting to me, with its implication that she's using a "false" voice. I can't think of a good way to initiate a conversation about this, but avoiding the issue may compromise how much I can help her sing better. Can I go to my supervisor for advice without violating her privacy? And, dear God, what if I'm wrong?
-Finding Her Voice


Someone should tell her to go to tumblr or reddit. And save the threads for historical reference.

/check yo privilege
 
2014-02-06 10:00:44 AM  

xanadian: vudukungfu: gopher321: "Well son, it started off with me being a lying whore..."

Pretty much this.
Mommy's a slut.
Poppa was a rollin' stone.

Mick Jagger is the father?


Could be, he seems to have been a worldwide daddy to many.
 
2014-02-06 10:01:49 AM  
I skimmed that whole article for a letter about some parents who were disappointed in their liberal son, before I reread the Fark headline.
 
2014-02-06 10:01:59 AM  

1derful: A selfish woman gets knocked up by a man, and convinces a lesser man to raise someone else's offspring


Fark you, dude.

The man who raised someone else's child for twenty years is clearly a greater man than the dude who creampied someone else's wife and then disappeared.
 
2014-02-06 10:02:05 AM  

kbronsito: I thought the headline said 'liberal' bastard... which made this a weird because this stupid lying whore shouldn't be criticizing anyone's choices.


Seconded....
 
2014-02-06 10:02:53 AM  
It's always amazed me how the child gets ostracized for being in this situation, despite bearing zero percent responsiblity for it.

/Adopted
//Probably a bastard
 
2014-02-06 10:03:47 AM  

eyeq360: Two words: Maury Povitch.
That is all.  He'll get the picture soon enough.


Fark Maury Povitch!  We want Jerry Springer and the kid gets to throw the first chair!
 
2014-02-06 10:05:04 AM  
I thought this was a photoshop contest. I would guess a hallmark card.
 
2014-02-06 10:05:45 AM  

poot_rootbeer: 1derful: A selfish woman gets knocked up by a man, and convinces a lesser man to raise someone else's offspring

Fark you, dude.

The man who raised someone else's child for twenty years is clearly a greater man than the dude who creampied someone else's wife and then disappeared.


Seconded. One 'dad' passed on the genetics he got from his parents, the real dad passed on everything else.
 
2014-02-06 10:05:54 AM  

bighairyguy: It's always amazed me how the child gets ostracized for being in this situation, despite bearing zero percent responsiblity for it.

/Adopted
//Probably a bastard


It's called "bigotry": See also "black kids", "gay kids", etc.

/Not adopted
//Mom shanghaied the most likely candidate into marrying her/claiming me
///Then made damn sure I never got the chance to meet him and find out for sure
 
2014-02-06 10:05:59 AM  
https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSewah6bqRJ6lyWqb oNS6iClPYjUA4HGuNbJjvDn0yMtxMpaJHB">https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.co m/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSewah6bqRJ6lyWqb oNS6iClPYjUA4HGuNbJjvDn0yMtxMpaJHB

"You may not have my name, but you have my blood."
Always classy.
 
2014-02-06 10:06:03 AM  
I don't get this - who gets back together with a spouse that had an affair and got preggers?  Or if it was a man - got someone preggers?

Seems to me there's somewhere in there where most people would say "Nope!  I'm done!"
 
2014-02-06 10:07:23 AM  
Put positive spin on it.

Tell him:

Son, you know that man you think is your father? Well, it turns out the idiot is totally unrelated to you.
 
2014-02-06 10:07:26 AM  
Dear slut,

Your son probably doesn't want to know that you are a whore.  Also, your husband is either the most forgiving or most pathetic I've ever heard of.

-Prudie
 
2014-02-06 10:07:28 AM  
Candygram4Mongo

Wait till he's got the flu. That way, you can call him literally one sick bastard...

Wait until he's got the flu and laying in bed so you can call him a sick, lying bastard.
 
2014-02-06 10:07:57 AM  

poot_rootbeer: 1derful: A selfish woman gets knocked up by a man, and convinces a lesser man to raise someone else's offspring

Fark you, dude.

The man who raised someone else's child for twenty years is clearly a greater man than the dude who creampied someone else's wife and then disappeared.


I don't think the man who raised him is a lesser man. First, the guy had no idea and second what you said. However, biatch knew and lied. I don't blame the 2nd guy (bio dad) for fading- she shoved him out of her life. I also don't blame him for being curious and wanting to know/meet/etc.
 
2014-02-06 10:09:15 AM  
If you're the father, you can also put a positive spin on it.

You know that annoying hereditary disease I have? Well, good news! There's absolutely no way you inherited it!
 
2014-02-06 10:09:19 AM  
What the bastard's Fark name?
 
2014-02-06 10:09:59 AM  
FTA:  Dear Desperate, I wish that when your son was a little boy you and your husband had explained his unconventional paternity.

WHAT?  WTH would you put this on a little child?  Why did he need to know this as a little boy?  Stupid.  I did tell my two adopted children where they came from, but that is because they are half-Hispanic and look very different from my two natural born alabaster skinned red-heads.  They WERE going to find out and so we made sure they understood from early on.  But in this situation?  I would NEVER have told the boy as a little tyke.
 
2014-02-06 10:10:35 AM  

poot_rootbeer: 1derful: A selfish woman gets knocked up by a man, and convinces a lesser man to raise someone else's offspring

Fark you, dude.

The man who raised someone else's child for twenty years is clearly a greater man than the dude who creampied someone else's wife and then disappeared.


Yeah, the guy who accepted and loved this child as his own is a saint. The guy who knocks the slut up and runs away, only to come back after the kid is grown and all the hard work of raising a kid is over expecting to be a part of the kid's life is a selfish asshole.
 
2014-02-06 10:11:06 AM  
Well, I'm of the mind many of these are fake, so I'm not clicking.  In answer to the Fark headline, you just tell him.  These things are no longer social stigmas.

Your parents weren't married when you were born?  Yeah, about half of the kids born these days are like that.
Your parents aren't currently married?  Yeah, have you seen the divorce rate?  Same with the majority of your friends.

I think the most important one to tell your kid is if you didn't plan to have him so that perhaps he can learn from your mistake.  I love you, I'm glad you're here but I sure as fark didn't intend to have you when I did.  Here's what I did that ended up with me having a kid.  But don't feel bad, over 1/3 of babies are unplanned.
 
2014-02-06 10:11:25 AM  
I thought it read "liberal bastard" and I was thinking those poor, poor parents.

This is bad too, I guess...
 
2014-02-06 10:12:10 AM  

markfara: This second letter's lots more interesting. Let's comment on that:

Dear Prudence,

I am a teacher at a small community college. I strongly suspect that one of my new students this semester is a trans woman. My problem is that I'm a voice teacher. If I'm right, her larynx has been affected by testosterone, and is functionally male. Even if she's taking female hormones, the voice changes that puberty brings are permanent. For example, she will be reaching her high notes in falsetto, which requires slightly different technique from that used by a cis woman singing in head voice. But even using the word "falsetto" to describe her high notes seems insulting to me, with its implication that she's using a "false" voice. I can't think of a good way to initiate a conversation about this, but avoiding the issue may compromise how much I can help her sing better. Can I go to my supervisor for advice without violating her privacy? And, dear God, what if I'm wrong?
-Finding Her Voice


White diva problems.
 
2014-02-06 10:13:10 AM  
images3.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2014-02-06 10:13:16 AM  

MasterThief: Son, you'll never be King. Or receive an inheritance. Or be respected by society.

[images.wikia.com image 300x450]

Says you.


gifatron.com
 
2014-02-06 10:14:00 AM  
Well, he's always welcome on the wall. No bastard was ever refused a seat there.
 
2014-02-06 10:14:05 AM  
images.starpulse.com
can't turn a ho into a housewife
hoes don't act right
 
2014-02-06 10:14:11 AM  

minoridiot: From the headline I thought the question would be about a kid being too literal, not about a bastard.


I literally thought the same thing!
 
2014-02-06 10:16:48 AM  

poot_rootbeer: 1derful: A selfish woman gets knocked up by a man, and convinces a lesser man to raise someone else's offspring

Fark you, dude.

The man who raised someone else's child for twenty years is clearly a greater man than the dude who creampied someone else's wife and then disappeared.


That's very noble and all, but in strictly Darwinian terms the non-bio dad is a dead end. Technically, you're supposed to kill the cubs to bring the female into rut so you can pass on your genes.
 
2014-02-06 10:17:58 AM  
I dunno how I could live with my wife if she cheated. Cheated AND got pregnant. Prolly lots of anal, definitely a good morning blow followed by a cup of joe daily.
 
2014-02-06 10:19:09 AM  

Harry Freakstorm: Candygram4Mongo

Wait till he's got the flu. That way, you can call him literally one sick bastard...

Wait until he's got the flu and laying in bed so you can call him a sick, lying bastard.


Winner!
 
2014-02-06 10:21:36 AM  

Loucifer: minoridiot: From the headline I thought the question would be about a kid being too literal, not about a bastard.

I literally thought the same thing!


Lol, me too.  But then I have a hyper-literal kid too.
 
2014-02-06 10:22:28 AM  
Actually, although my previous comment was a joke, it will be interesting to see what changes DNA testing will have on future society. Since women now know that paternity can easily be proven- or disproven- in order to avoid losing their support system they will be more likely to bear children from the possibly less physically imposing or charming male who is however better at tackling responsibilities, and therefore that particular gene- and I believe it is genetic- is more likely to get passed on.
 
2014-02-06 10:23:02 AM  

vudukungfu: gopher321: "Well son, it started off with me being a lying whore..."

Pretty much this.
Mommy's a slut.
Poppa was a rollin' stone.


Great haiku, or greatest haiku?

/not really haiku
//but I like it anyway
///I have three slashies
 
2014-02-06 10:23:33 AM  

marleymaniac: I dunno how I could live with my wife if she cheated. Cheated AND got pregnant. Prolly lots of anal, definitely a good morning blow followed by a cup of joe daily.


Hmm, actually I feel less sad for the husband in the story now
 
2014-02-06 10:24:10 AM  

cynicalbastard: poot_rootbeer: 1derful: A selfish woman gets knocked up by a man, and convinces a lesser man to raise someone else's offspring

Fark you, dude.

The man who raised someone else's child for twenty years is clearly a greater man than the dude who creampied someone else's wife and then disappeared.

That's very noble and all, but in strictly Darwinian terms the non-bio dad is a dead end. Technically, you're supposed to kill the cubs to bring the female into rut so you can pass on your genes.


That's cold.....Soooo cold.
 
2014-02-06 10:25:41 AM  
i.imgur.com
 
2014-02-06 10:28:33 AM  

a_feral_duck: poot_rootbeer: 1derful: A selfish woman gets knocked up by a man, and convinces a lesser man to raise someone else's offspring

Fark you, dude.

The man who raised someone else's child for twenty years is clearly a greater man than the dude who creampied someone else's wife and then disappeared.

Yeah, the guy who accepted and loved this child as his own is a saint. The guy who knocks the slut up and runs away, only to come back after the kid is grown and all the hard work of raising a kid is over expecting to be a part of the kid's life is a selfish asshole.


Which says a lot about the character of those Farkers who are bashing the guy that raised the kid, while not saying anything negative about the selfish asshole who ran away from his responsibilities.
 
2014-02-06 10:29:12 AM  

WTF Indeed: "Son, you're a bastard."


Winning!!
 
2014-02-06 10:29:13 AM  

cynicalbastard: Actually, although my previous comment was a joke, it will be interesting to see what changes DNA testing will have on future society. Since women now know that paternity can easily be proven- or disproven- in order to avoid losing their support system they will be more likely to bear children from the possibly less physically imposing or charming male who is however better at tackling responsibilities, and therefore that particular gene- and I believe it is genetic- is more likely to get passed on.


You're getting all deep.
So the unpopular dicks from school will populate the earth? NERRRRDS!
 
2014-02-06 10:29:45 AM  

Nadie_AZ: "Hey son, we are gonna get a pay out as soon as I sue your real dad for all that back child support he never paid. You get half."


And if you belive that one son, have I got a deal on a bridge for you.
 
2014-02-06 10:30:02 AM  

kbronsito: I thought the headline said 'liberal' bastard... which made this a weird because this stupid lying whore shouldn't be criticizing anyone's choices.


100% ditto.
 
2014-02-06 10:30:20 AM  
Lifetime Total Fark subscription will help.
 
2014-02-06 10:31:02 AM  
Wait for Father's Day.  Then say, "Nope - guess again!!"
 
2014-02-06 10:31:14 AM  

a_feral_duck: The guy who knocks the slut up and runs away, only to come back after the kid is grown and all the hard work of raising a kid is over expecting to be a part of the kid's life is a selfish asshole.



upload.wikimedia.org

Darwin says: don't hate the player, hate the game.
 
2014-02-06 10:32:46 AM  
ih1.redbubble.net
 
2014-02-06 10:33:03 AM  
 
2014-02-06 10:33:21 AM  

a_feral_duck: poot_rootbeer: 1derful: A selfish woman gets knocked up by a man, and convinces a lesser man to raise someone else's offspring

Fark you, dude.

The man who raised someone else's child for twenty years is clearly a greater man than the dude who creampied someone else's wife and then disappeared.

Yeah, the guy who accepted and loved this child as his own is a saint. The guy who knocks the slut up and runs away, only to come back after the kid is grown and all the hard work of raising a kid is over expecting to be a part of the kid's life is a selfish asshole.


I'm gonna go with this. The biological father and the mom are the biggest idiots in this story.

I found the following lines from TFA interesting: "He immediately moved across the country. We had some tense conversations about the baby and things ended on a bad note." I wonder if any of those conversations involved abortion or $$$. Also, showing up after the kid is 20, maybe the dude thinks his financial obligations are over.

/that being said, I'd really like to hear the bio father's side of the story.
//maury it is
///slashies for the win!
 
2014-02-06 10:33:56 AM  

AntiGravitas: WHAT? WTH would you put this on a little child? Why did he need to know this as a little boy? Stupid.


It's AMAZING how kids take things as simple FACTS when they are little, without all the angsty bullshiat.  Oh the cat died?  When can we get another one?  Oh, my bio-dad isn't around, good to know, but YOU ARE HERE DADDY!  Lying to little kids is more about the PARENTS protecting their fragile egos and their fantasy world, than the kids.

The older they get, the bigger the surprise and the more roiled up they will probably be about.

/foster parent
 
2014-02-06 10:35:17 AM  
I read that as "Liberal Bastard" Oh, how my deluxe makes me laugh sometimes.
 
2014-02-06 10:36:00 AM  
www.quickmeme.com
 
2014-02-06 10:36:08 AM  

Latinwolf: a_feral_duck: poot_rootbeer: 1derful: A selfish woman gets knocked up by a man, and convinces a lesser man to raise someone else's offspring

Fark you, dude.

The man who raised someone else's child for twenty years is clearly a greater man than the dude who creampied someone else's wife and then disappeared.

Yeah, the guy who accepted and loved this child as his own is a saint. The guy who knocks the slut up and runs away, only to come back after the kid is grown and all the hard work of raising a kid is over expecting to be a part of the kid's life is a selfish asshole.

Which says a lot about the character of those Farkers who are bashing the guy that raised the kid, while not saying anything negative about the selfish asshole who ran away from his responsibilities.


This place has more Peter Pans than Neverland.
 
2014-02-06 10:36:18 AM  
The biological father could just send the kid a letter explaining the situation and containing a few strands of his hair in a sealed container.  "If you're curious who your real father is, just send this in for a paternity test."

That ought to wrap things up, all neat & tidy.
 
2014-02-06 10:36:36 AM  

kbronsito: I thought the headline said 'liberal' bastard... which made this a weird because this stupid lying whore shouldn't be criticizing anyone's choices.


I read it that way too.

/Too many times in the Politics tab for me.
 
2014-02-06 10:36:54 AM  

minoridiot: From the headline I thought the question would be about a kid being too literal, not about a bastard.


Me, too. I was wondering if I missed a letter.
 
2014-02-06 10:37:08 AM  
Dear Desperate,

Your husband is an idiot and should have taken the opportunity to get out when he had the chance instead of raising your bastard child who is a daily reminder that you basically slapped him in the face with another man's dick. Just be honest with your kid and tell him that his biological father is a home-wrecking deadbeat who banged your brains out and then skipped town when he found out your birth control failed, and the man who raised him isn't really a man at all but a pathetic husk of a man who is willing to take sloppy seconds from his own wife. I'm sure it will all work out.

-Prudie
 
2014-02-06 10:38:00 AM  
Being Fark I thought it said "liberal bastard"

I'm not doing well in the reading department this morning.
 
2014-02-06 10:38:14 AM  

cynicalbastard: Actually, although my previous comment was a joke, it will be interesting to see what changes DNA testing will have on future society. Since women now know that paternity can easily be proven- or disproven- in order to avoid losing their support system they will be more likely to bear children from the possibly less physically imposing or charming male who is however better at tackling responsibilities, and therefore that particular gene- and I believe it is genetic- is more likely to get passed on.


Depends how you define tackling responsibilities. If you are just saying they won't cheat on good providers with charming and dominant males it seems you may be seeing a disconnect that isn't really between those things. Attractiveness has been shown time and time again to influence earnings. The same is true of dominance, for every nerdy guy who gets money thrown at him for being brilliant even though is quiet there are 1000 assholes that aren't afraid to ask for raises or kill competitors which leads them to a nice life style, even though they may not be the most talented or responsible.
 
2014-02-06 10:39:07 AM  
To Flush with anger: The smell of his turds would probably kill you where you sat, so he is likely flushing repeatedly to keep the noxious fumes from wafting as far as they would if the stank monster stayed in the bowl.
 
2014-02-06 10:39:47 AM  

draypresct: poot_rootbeer: 1derful: A selfish woman gets knocked up by a man, and convinces a lesser man to raise someone else's offspring

Fark you, dude.

The man who raised someone else's child for twenty years is clearly a greater man than the dude who creampied someone else's wife and then disappeared.

Seconded. One 'dad' passed on the genetics he got from his parents, the real dad passed on everything else.


Thirded.
 
2014-02-06 10:39:48 AM  

mod3072: Dear Desperate,

Your husband is an idiot and should have taken the opportunity to get out when he had the chance instead of raising your bastard child who is a daily reminder that you basically slapped him in the face with another man's dick. Just be honest with your kid and tell him that his biological father is a home-wrecking deadbeat who banged your brains out and then skipped town when he found out your birth control failed, and the man who raised him isn't really a man at all but a pathetic husk of a man who is willing to take sloppy seconds from his own wife. I'm sure it will all work out.

-Prudie


Maybe the husband decided to pretend the boy was his son in order to make life easier for the one who really is his child.
 
2014-02-06 10:40:27 AM  
Could be an idea for a new CBS comedy: "The Whore and the MF'ing Bastard"

Mom: "Son, I'm a nympho slag bag of STD's." (Canned laughter)

Son: "I know, mom, but, can you be a little more selective.  Do you have to do farking hobos, too?" (Canned laughter)

Mom: "OK, I'll try to be better.  You know honey, you're looking really hot, this morning." (Canned laughter)

Son: "Oh, mom!  OK, I guess." (Canned laughter)

Cleaning Lady: "You two make me want to puke!" (Canned laughter)
 
2014-02-06 10:40:31 AM  

poot_rootbeer: 1derful: A selfish woman gets knocked up by a man, and convinces a lesser man to raise someone else's offspring

Fark you, dude.

The man who raised someone else's child for twenty years is clearly a greater man than the dude who creampied someone else's wife and then disappeared.


In theory you are absolutely correct. But I've seen enough real life and Maury to see the kind of person that will pick up the sloppy seconds of a 2nd-class whore. They are men devoid of any real balls. They don't have any real wants or dreams, just whatever the slut tells him to want or to dream. They are hardly real people.
 
2014-02-06 10:41:00 AM  

DragonDerk: a_feral_duck: poot_rootbeer: 1derful: A selfish woman gets knocked up by a man, and convinces a lesser man to raise someone else's offspring

Fark you, dude.

The man who raised someone else's child for twenty years is clearly a greater man than the dude who creampied someone else's wife and then disappeared.

Yeah, the guy who accepted and loved this child as his own is a saint. The guy who knocks the slut up and runs away, only to come back after the kid is grown and all the hard work of raising a kid is over expecting to be a part of the kid's life is a selfish asshole.

I'm gonna go with this. The biological father and the mom are the biggest idiots in this story.

I found the following lines from TFA interesting: "He immediately moved across the country. We had some tense conversations about the baby and things ended on a bad note." I wonder if any of those conversations involved abortion or $$$. Also, showing up after the kid is 20, maybe the dude thinks his financial obligations are over.

/that being said, I'd really like to hear the bio father's side of the story.
//maury it is
///slashies for the win!


Well, there's no reason to assume the slut-mother's story is accurate. The Bio-father could be as big an asshole as she makes him out to be, or she could have forced him out of the picture, made his life a living hell, so he gave up and crossed teh country.  Maybe he wanted to be part of the kid's life, she wouldn't allow it, hence the "bad note"?  And maybe the bio-father found out about some bad genetic stuff going on and wants the kid to be aware of it early on?

All speculation, of course, and the most likely reality is both mom and bio-dad are raging assholes (we know the mom is, in any case).

/but it's prudie, chances are it's made up anyway
 
2014-02-06 10:41:33 AM  
Did anyone read the headline as "liberal bastard"? Because I'd imagine that some people did.
 
2014-02-06 10:41:35 AM  
Another prime example of ignoring the problem until it shows up late one night at your door.
 
2014-02-06 10:41:43 AM  
s3.amazonaws.com

You farking bastage!

/hot
 
2014-02-06 10:43:59 AM  
"Raise your hand if you're NOT a bastard......Not so fast, Little Johnny..."
 
2014-02-06 10:44:27 AM  
"Everyone who is not a bastard please step forward"

"Not so fast son"
 
2014-02-06 10:46:04 AM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-02-06 10:46:59 AM  
So, my brother's best friend has an older brother. Older bro had some rough teenage years. He hung out with the wrong crowd, got into drugs, etc. Eventually, he got caught breaking into a house. After his mom and 'dad' picked him up, his dad decided that it was a great time to tell him that he wasn't really his son. I'm sure the parents should have told him earlier, but man, talk about bad timing. The parents divorced shortly after that, and the dad pretty much also washed his hands of the younger son who was his kid.

Contrast that with one of my best friend's situation. His mom met a great guy when my buddy was 3 or 4 and his sister was a baby. Though he never adopted them, he raised them as his own. At some point, the parents told both kids and they ended up legally changing their names to the dad's last name.
 
2014-02-06 10:50:05 AM  
Tell a story about her own questionable heritage and ask if he wants to go look up the word "uzzard.'
 
2014-02-06 10:53:34 AM  
The part of this some of you seem to be disagreeing on is that a guy say coming into a single moms life and giving her kids a father is rather commendable. A guy who's wife is banging some other dude, then leaves the guy for the fling, gets knocked up by him, and comes crawling back as soon as he bails is another entirely.
 
2014-02-06 10:54:41 AM  
This thread makes me wonder. As a literal bastard, is there any good resource on actual historical restrictions on bastards?
 
2014-02-06 10:56:48 AM  
Wouldn't she want him to have access to his family medical history?
 
2014-02-06 10:57:12 AM  

gopher321: "Well son, it started off with me being a lying whore..."


This. She's a bad person and should feel bad. Not for the extracurricular humping/breeding, but for her utterly selfish desire to avoid difficult but necessary discussions.

The "dad' is almost equally culpable in that he also chose silence, but frankly, he doesn't seem to have a whole lot of spine in the first place.

She should hope his disgust with her doesn't resolve in her finishing her life in the cheapest rat-motel of a seniors' warehouse.

/internet judgement is the best judgement.
 
2014-02-06 10:58:33 AM  
At least these fake advice questions are now properly labeled with the "Silly" tag.
 
2014-02-06 10:59:41 AM  
Also, Fb- is the father
 
2014-02-06 10:59:46 AM  
"Son," she said, "have I got a little story for you...

What you thought was your daddy was nothin' but a...
 
2014-02-06 11:00:35 AM  
How about, "Son, do you know that website 'Fark'? There might be an article you'd be interested in."
 
2014-02-06 11:00:49 AM  

Valiente: gopher321: "Well son, it started off with me being a lying whore..."

This. She's a bad person and should feel bad. Not for the extracurricular humping/breeding, but for her utterly selfish desire to avoid difficult but necessary discussions.

The "dad' is almost equally culpable in that he also chose silence, but frankly, he doesn't seem to have a whole lot of spine in the first place.

She should hope his disgust with her doesn't resolve in her finishing her life in the cheapest rat-motel of a seniors' warehouse.

/internet judgement is the best judgement.


Why shouldn't she feel bad about the extracurricular humping/breeding?
 
2014-02-06 11:03:06 AM  

Begoggle: Also, Fb- is the father


WOW...timewarp.
 
2014-02-06 11:03:34 AM  
Bastard is such a 19th century and older term. Don't call a kid nasty names like that in 2014.
 
2014-02-06 11:04:21 AM  
This would have resolved itself much sooner if the baby was half black. :o
 
2014-02-06 11:05:59 AM  
Whoa, everybody slow down. Calling this woman a "whore" is mysogynistic bullshiat. Just because...

*reads article*

Oh. Nevermind. Carry on.
 
2014-02-06 11:10:07 AM  

uncoveror: Bastard is such a 19th century and older term. Don't call a kid nasty names like that in 2014.


Bart: So, any idea where this bastard lives?
Homer: Bart!
Bart: Well his parents aren't married are they? It's the correct word isn't it?
Homer: I guess he's got us there
Bart: Bastard Bastard, Bastard Bastard, Bastard Bastard.
 
2014-02-06 11:14:26 AM  

asquian: This thread makes me wonder. As a literal bastard, is there any good resource on actual historical restrictions on bastards?


You have to have a license.
 
2014-02-06 11:15:51 AM  
cdn3.whatculture.com
 
2014-02-06 11:16:19 AM  
To steal a line from another farker in another thread, "Sometimes when a man loves a woman very much, they like to see how many friends the woman can handle at one time.  We think you may be the neighbor's kid."
 
2014-02-06 11:16:31 AM  

ChipNASA: Begoggle: Also, Fb- is the father

WOW...timewarp.


Indeed. I had to check out his profile digits too. 5. Not bad.
 
2014-02-06 11:16:32 AM  

DROxINxTHExWIND: Whoa, everybody slow down. Calling this woman a "whore" is mysogynistic bullshiat. Just because...

*reads article*

Oh. Nevermind. Carry on.


You almost had me on that one, dude.


Total disaster--mom's a piece shiat, bio-dad's a piece of shiat, day-to-day dad is noble to love the bastard, yet such a weakling he took back the lying spoo-bucket in the first place.

I would hope he was having an affair at the time so it was a two-way forgiveness, otherwise I cannot imagine putting up with that garbage bag of a female.

/And yes--if the genders were reversed it's the same--if you dislike your spouse, get a divorce.  Don't be a dickhole and sleep around.
 
2014-02-06 11:17:15 AM  
Ain't no bastard
like a literal bastard
cuz a literal bastard
is well-read.
 
2014-02-06 11:20:25 AM  

Kuta: ChipNASA: Begoggle: Also, Fb- is the father

WOW...timewarp.

Indeed. I had to check out his profile digits too. 5. Not bad.


Damn dude...3 digits??

I thought I was good at 93,000 but then again...I lurked for about a year before i signed up and posted.
 
2014-02-06 11:20:30 AM  

H31N0US: [s3.amazonaws.com image 200x267]

You farking bastage!

/hot


You misspelled "fargin."

/You want to get deported to Sweden?
 
2014-02-06 11:22:15 AM  
A graphic might help answer some questions.
d2tq98mqfjyz2l.cloudfront.net
 
2014-02-06 11:22:41 AM  

NickelP: The part of this some of you seem to be disagreeing on is that a guy say coming into a single moms life and giving her kids a father is rather commendable. A guy who's wife is banging some other dude, then leaves the guy for the fling, gets knocked up by him, and comes crawling back as soon as he bails is another entirely.


Eh, that's arguable, people do shiat for family that looks stupid from the outside all the time.

I do think we can all agree, though, that the  father isn't the one that should be worried about the kid's reaction, since it's not really  him that the whole "your mother ran off and tried to have you without a partner to fark your childhood, but I lived you enough to stick around even though there's no blood relation" reflects badly upon.

You can question his judgement, but of the three people involved in the story he's definitely the only one that can still be legitimately considered some kind of role model for the kid.

// In fact, the reason the man is probably telling his wife not to share the story is probably mostly to prevent her from destroying her relationship with their son, not out of any kind of self-interest.  Clearly, he cares, and clearly she has a history of sinking relationships by pulling stupid shiat.
 
2014-02-06 11:24:03 AM  

devilEther: Well, he's always welcome on the wall. No bastard was ever refused a seat there.


Came here for this. Also:

Send him to the Wall, and promise him you'll later tell him the truth.
 
2014-02-06 11:24:10 AM  
So the mom used the bio-dad to force her ex-husband to return, then spurred the bio-dad's attempts to be a father for 20 years?

Now she's acting all upset because bio-dad is still trying?
 
2014-02-06 11:24:26 AM  

asquian: This thread makes me wonder. As a literal bastard, is there any good resource on actual historical restrictions on bastards?


What...like a Wiki-Bastard...or Bastard-pedia?
 
2014-02-06 11:24:35 AM  

NickelP: Valiente: gopher321: "Well son, it started off with me being a lying whore..."

This. She's a bad person and should feel bad. Not for the extracurricular humping/breeding, but for her utterly selfish desire to avoid difficult but necessary discussions.

The "dad' is almost equally culpable in that he also chose silence, but frankly, he doesn't seem to have a whole lot of spine in the first place.

She should hope his disgust with her doesn't resolve in her finishing her life in the cheapest rat-motel of a seniors' warehouse.

/internet judgement is the best judgement.

Why shouldn't she feel bad about the extracurricular humping/breeding?


Because it's hardly unusual and pales in comparison to the Big Lie. Although frankly, she sounds sloppy and careless in general. How hard is it to say "no glove, no love"?
 
2014-02-06 11:24:46 AM  
"Dear Desperate:

You say 'Son, I'm a whore.'

Good Luck!"
 
2014-02-06 11:25:25 AM  

NickelP: They should wash that game of thrones episode with him where they kill all the bastards then say 'son we have good news and bad news! The good news is you don't live in medieval times!'


Now see, I would have pointed at Gendry and said, "see son, that's you!" Then pointed at Arya and said, "and that's your sister." And waited to see how long it took before he made the connection.
 
2014-02-06 11:27:31 AM  
You don't say anything. You affect a look of extreme disgust, point to the door, and spit on the floor.
 
2014-02-06 11:28:09 AM  
I would never tell him. The boy doesn't need to know mom was a whore.
 
2014-02-06 11:29:08 AM  

netweavr: So the mom used the bio-dad to force her ex-husband to return, then spurred the bio-dad's attempts to be a father for 20 years?

Now she's acting all upset because bio-dad is still trying?


Yea, I know! -- the biological father really is an asshole.
 
2014-02-06 11:29:17 AM  

abhorrent1: Wouldn't she want him to have access to his family medical history?


Look, this is a woman who cheated on her husband, when she got caught she moved out on him and in with her parents and continued the relationship with the other man, then proceeded to get pregnant by the other man, only reconciling with her husband when the other man left, and in my opinion convinced her husband that the baby was his. Now thinking over all of that, do you really think that she is working with a mentality that will have her concerned with her son's family medical history?
 
2014-02-06 11:30:15 AM  

Mid_mo_mad_man: I would never tell him. The boy doesn't need to know mom was a whore.


Eventually, the biological father would probably tell him on his own.  Given that the son is a 20 year old adult, it's not like the mother can prevent that anymore.  Evading the issue is probably not possible.
 
2014-02-06 11:30:32 AM  

baconbeard: You don't say anything. You affect a look of extreme disgust, point to the door, and spit on the floor.


The old time ways of doing things, were the best ways!
 
2014-02-06 11:31:01 AM  
Start calling him Jon Snow until he catches on...
 
2014-02-06 11:31:32 AM  
"You know how your dad has been molesting you a lot lately? Well I've got some good news...."
 
2014-02-06 11:31:51 AM  
Subby: "Dear Prudence: How do I tell my son he's a literal bastard?"

You've misspelled "How do I linkbait sites like Fark by filling column-inches with fictitious 'reader letters' that were actually written by the very same person who pretends to be called Prudence?"
 
2014-02-06 11:32:11 AM  
Explain to him that "bastard" isn't a bad word. It's in the Bible! There now, don't you feel better, you little damn-ass whore?
 
2014-02-06 11:32:22 AM  
You can ease the blow by first introducing your son to some figurative bastards.

Start by gently showing your son a tiny figurine of Confucius while playing some soothing music.
 
2014-02-06 11:33:12 AM  

mod3072: Dear Desperate,

Your husband is an idiot and should have taken the opportunity to get out when he had the chance instead of raising your bastard child who is a daily reminder that you basically slapped him in the face with another man's dick. Just be honest with your kid and tell him that his biological father is a home-wrecking deadbeat who banged your brains out and then skipped town when he found out your birth control failed, and the man who raised him isn't really a man at all but a pathetic husk of a man who is willing to take sloppy seconds from his own wife. I'm sure it will all work out.

-Prudie


You sir, have been favorited.
 
2014-02-06 11:34:27 AM  
If the TV shows I watch are any guide, you should kill the bio-dad and avoid capture as long as possible.
 
2014-02-06 11:35:42 AM  
"Son, it turns out those bullies at school were right."
 
2014-02-06 11:36:24 AM  
Is you registered as a Democrat?
 
2014-02-06 11:37:19 AM  

kbronsito: I thought the headline said 'liberal' bastard... which made this a weird because this stupid lying whore shouldn't be criticizing anyone's choices.


It also would have simplified the situation, because liberal bastards just don't accept that they are, so it doesn't matter what you tell them.
 
2014-02-06 11:38:08 AM  

ChipNASA: Kuta: ChipNASA: Begoggle: Also, Fb- is the father

WOW...timewarp.

Indeed. I had to check out his profile digits too. 5. Not bad.

Damn dude...3 digits??

I thought I was good at 93,000 but then again...I lurked for about a year before i signed up and posted.


When Fark started I was working at a tech publishing company so we found out about everything really fast. One of the other editors discovered Fark and said we should check it out. I signed up and didn't really do much here until it became a thing. Met Drew once back in the early days at a trade show. Been hooked ever since though. Obviously.

/get off my lawn
//old poster is old
///yadda yadda yadda
 
2014-02-06 11:38:34 AM  

xanadian: vudukungfu: gopher321: "Well son, it started off with me being a lying whore..."

Pretty much this.
Mommy's a slut.
Poppa was a rollin' stone.

Mick Jagger is the father?


No, that would be fb-
 
2014-02-06 11:38:46 AM  
I don't get why you guys are calling the bio-dad a deadbeat. It sounds like he's been consistently trying to be a father the entire time. He didn't break up with her, she broke up with him.
 
2014-02-06 11:40:32 AM  

netweavr: I don't get why you guys are calling the bio-dad a deadbeat. It sounds like he's been consistently trying to be a father the entire time. He didn't break up with her, she broke up with him.


You've been on here since 2005 and you still don't understand how things work?
 
2014-02-06 11:41:20 AM  

baconbeard: netweavr: I don't get why you guys are calling the bio-dad a deadbeat. It sounds like he's been consistently trying to be a father the entire time. He didn't break up with her, she broke up with him.

You've been on here since 2005 and you still don't understand how things work?


There's a huge difference between knowing what's going to happen and understanding why it happens.
 
2014-02-06 11:41:42 AM  

jshine: Mid_mo_mad_man: I would never tell him. The boy doesn't need to know mom was a whore.

Eventually, the biological father would probably tell him on his own.  Given that the son is a 20 year old adult, it's not like the mother can prevent that anymore.  Evading the issue is probably not possible.


Imagine  that Facebook friend request.   "Hi son,...."
 
2014-02-06 11:41:46 AM  
I'd rather be a bastard than a cheating whore, like his mother.
 
2014-02-06 11:42:40 AM  

ongbok: abhorrent1: Wouldn't she want him to have access to his family medical history?

Look, this is a woman who cheated on her husband, when she got caught she moved out on him and in with her parents and continued the relationship with the other man, then proceeded to get pregnant by the other man, only reconciling with her husband when the other man left, and in my opinion convinced her husband that the baby was his. Now thinking over all of that, do you really think that she is working with a mentality that will have her concerned with her son's family medical history?


I don't buy the "she convinced her husband it was his," but I think otherwise you're spot on. This is a woman who, for at least a decent amount of time, lived in an extremely self absorbed manner, not caring what kind of damage she caused to those around her. Not her husband and daughter, who she left. Not her parents, who had to watch their daughter fark up her family and hurt people they (presumably) loved dearly. Not even her fark-toy boyfriend, who she discarded without a second thought. So what makes anybody think she would have the best interests of her son at heart? She didn't have the interests of anybody else in mind at any other point in this narrative.

So yeah, I have no sympathy for this chick. Even if she has done a complete 180 and truly is devoted to her family now, 20 years ago she was a complete train wreck and ought to be down on her knees blowing her husband for having the patience to take her back.

I could probably forgive my wife an affair. Getting pregnant with somebody else's kid, I think we'd be done.
 
2014-02-06 11:42:59 AM  
How about this "Your mom is a farking skank whore."
 
2014-02-06 11:44:58 AM  
This kid will need about 10 years of therapy. Hope they don't have Obummer Care.
 
2014-02-06 11:46:26 AM  

poot_rootbeer: Fark you, dude.

The man who raised someone else's child for twenty years is clearly a greater man than the dude who creampied someone else's wife and then disappeared.


farking straight. "Lesser man" my ass!
 
2014-02-06 11:47:25 AM  

ongbok: in my opinion convinced her husband that the baby was his


I got the impression that non-bio dad has always known.
 
2014-02-06 11:48:09 AM  

kbronsito: I thought the headline said 'liberal' bastard... which made this a weird because this stupid lying whore shouldn't be criticizing anyone's choices.


I thought it did too, then got confused with the article, and headline so thought Subby was trying to be funny.

I need sleep.
 
2014-02-06 11:50:50 AM  
Well, you could write a book ...

img.fark.net
 
2014-02-06 11:51:10 AM  
www.mememaker.net
 
2014-02-06 11:52:23 AM  
Well kid, I gotta tell ya, being a bastard pretty much meant nothing to me. Of course, I knew my "dad" wasn't my biological father by the time I was about 4. I also stayed up all night that winter and knew there was no such thing as santa.

At least until I was 20 and found out that my grandparents didn't consider me one of their grandkids(me being the oldest one of them) because I was illegitimate. Thanks, you supposedly christian assholes. Glad you're dead.

So basically your mom is a lying, slutty ho bag and should feel bad forever.
 
2014-02-06 11:52:37 AM  

Internet Meme Rogers: ongbok: in my opinion convinced her husband that the baby was his

I got the impression that non-bio dad has always known.


It would have been impossible to hide. Incubation of a human fetus being what it is, the husband would have had a solid window (give or take a month) in which he knows when the kid was conceived. Marriages also tend not to implode in nothing flat. Apparently there was no chance the hubby would have thought the kid was his. I would assume she was living with her parents (and maybe this other guy too, she said they had decided to be together, so maybe there was even a time where she was gearing up for divorce proceedings) for a few months at least. So there's probably at least a 2-3 month window, maybe even 6+, where the husband knew that not only he wasn't banging his wife, but this other dude was. There's no way to hide that. Moreover, even if there was "overlap" where they were both doing her, the husband would maybe even demand paternity tests, knowing he might end up getting stuck paying for someone else's kid in a divorce (this is speculation on my part).

But to get his family back together, he takes one for the team (since his wife has been taking one for herself), and chooses to raise this boy as his own.
 
2014-02-06 11:52:55 AM  

Internet Meme Rogers: ongbok: in my opinion convinced her husband that the baby was his

I got the impression that non-bio dad has always known.


I got the impression that was what she wants everybody to believe. I really can see this whole thing from her leaving her husband to reconciling being a period of 2-3 months. So if this whole thing took place within that frame I can see her finding out that she was pregnant, deciding that her best bet would be to go back with her husband, and being able to convince her husband, given the time frame, that he was the one who got her pregnant because the other guy was just a thing that happened a few times and they always used protection.
 
2014-02-06 11:53:54 AM  
WTF Indeed: "Son, you're a bastard Belgian."
 
2014-02-06 11:54:19 AM  
Get this guy to do it.
29.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-02-06 11:54:33 AM  
Why is everyone assuming that beta dad is some saintly figure?

Being present is a pretty low parenthood bar.
 
2014-02-06 11:55:58 AM  
sophrosyne.radical.r30.net
 
2014-02-06 11:58:14 AM  

RevMark: I'd rather be a bastard than a cheating whore, like his mother.


p.twimg.com
 
2014-02-06 11:59:11 AM  

ongbok: Internet Meme Rogers: ongbok: in my opinion convinced her husband that the baby was his

I got the impression that non-bio dad has always known.

I got the impression that was what she wants everybody to believe. I really can see this whole thing from her leaving her husband to reconciling being a period of 2-3 months. So if this whole thing took place within that frame I can see her finding out that she was pregnant, deciding that her best bet would be to go back with her husband, and being able to convince her husband, given the time frame, that he was the one who got her pregnant because the other guy was just a thing that happened a few times and they always used protection.


Possible, but if I were the husband I'd be demanding a paternity test seeing as how this kid was likely conceived during a time when it's not just possible, but certain, that she was banging some other dude. Maybe the husband by then knew they were getting back together and decided to forego it and raise the kid as his own, but that would be a really risky move for him. 

Either way, just not enough data and all of it is from a source that is definitely biased and likely unreliable in her own favor.
 
2014-02-06 11:59:22 AM  

brap: Son after nearly a quarter of a century and now having no legal fiscal responsibility for you, your biological father wants to take you out for coffee.

Feel free to stab him in the eye with a spork.


I was 18 when my parents told me the man that raised me is not my biological father.  My biological father turned out to be some guy I've never met that knocked Mom up and skipped town.  Soon after he wrote me a check to pay for some of my college tuition.  I cashed it, thanked him via e-mail and never spoke to him again.

Personally I don't care about the deadbeat.  He didn't raise me, so as far as I'm concerned he's a stranger to me.
 
2014-02-06 12:00:14 PM  

Kyro: brap: Son after nearly a quarter of a century and now having no legal fiscal responsibility for you, your biological father wants to take you out for coffee.

Feel free to stab him in the eye with a spork.

I was 18 when my parents told me the man that raised me is not my biological father.  My biological father turned out to be some guy I've never met that knocked Mom up and skipped town.  Soon after he wrote me a check to pay for some of my college tuition.  I cashed it, thanked him via e-mail and never spoke to him again.

Personally I don't care about the deadbeat.  He didn't raise me, so as far as I'm concerned he's a stranger to me.


And he has a girl's name for a last name, so f*ck that guy.
 
2014-02-06 12:00:50 PM  

Kyro: I was 18 when my parents told me the man that raised me is not my biological father.  My biological father turned out to be some guy I've never met that knocked Mom up and skipped town.  Soon after he wrote me a check to pay for some of my college tuition.  I cashed it, thanked him via e-mail and never spoke to him again.

Personally I don't care about the deadbeat.  He didn't raise me, so as far as I'm concerned he's a stranger to m



And yeah, Mom was kind of a slut in her youth.  I didn't piece it together until later, but the man that raised me was actually a guy mom dated in a desperate attempt to make my biological father jealous.  They've been married 26 years now.
 
2014-02-06 12:01:28 PM  
The kid has seen his father naked. I'm sure he already knows.
 
2014-02-06 12:01:44 PM  
Liberal Bastard... is that to be considered one verb or two?
 
2014-02-06 12:01:57 PM  
Seems like there is an ever-growing percentage of literal bastards out there.  I bet many of you farkers are bastards and I bet even more of you are physically responsible for the creation of one (or more).

NTTAWWT
 
2014-02-06 12:03:47 PM  
There's no reason to tell the kid at all.

If he needs a kidney or something, there's probably a closer match out there somewhere than using the father's kidney.  Just need to get the mother to donate one of hers (and wash it thoroughly first ;)
 
2014-02-06 12:04:40 PM  

nekom: Biology is just how we formed as babbys.  Your parents are the ones who loved and raised you.  End of story.


That's precious...
 
2014-02-06 12:05:09 PM  
Not sure why there's any hate for the husband.  He took on the challenge of providing the kid with a stable loving home and was apparently successful for it.   People make mistakes in marriages.   He obviously came to terms with the major one by his wife.  That's his prerogative.   He truly became the boys father.    The fact he didn't contribute any genetic material is irrelevant.

The bio-dad doesn't  necessarily deserve as much hate as he's getting.   The woman broke off the relationship and there was a lot of acrimony.   But the bio-dad still showed  some interest in the fruit of his loins even if he wasn't that involved.   We don't really know what steps he took to try and be involved as the story is only told through the woman's mouth.  He may have actually wanted to stay less out of the picture knowing the kid was in a stable environment and not wanting to rock the boat for him.

The woman farked up royally from the beginning.   Literally and figuratively.   She should have been more forthcoming about what happened from an early age.   The chances of her son ever having got to old age and not finding out he wasn't related to his father is pretty remote.   This is 'need to know' information.   For health reasons, he needed to know.   Plus,  she knew the boyfriend still had an interest in his offspring, so she knew that this confrontation would happen.   It is much better that the son knew about it from an early age, and could ask questions.   And yes, he (the son) might have shown an interest in meeting his biological father at an early age.   His parents might not have welcomed having to associate with him again, but that's the penalty of this situation.
She needs to 'man up' and own up to everything.   Chances are if she was a decent human being through his childhood, he will forgive her.   It'll be unpleasant for a while but she needs to deal with it.  She created this situation and should own it.
 
2014-02-06 12:06:12 PM  
All I could think about while reading the article was how much of an absolute coont this lady is. I feel bad for the bro who had to deal with her crap for the better part of three decades.
 
2014-02-06 12:06:30 PM  
Print out the following images and hand them to him

lifestyledezine.com  www.galleryhistoricalfigures.com

Or buy him a CD

www.rasputinmusic.com
 
2014-02-06 12:08:11 PM  

Iszael: There's no reason to tell the kid at all.


It can't really be avoided though.  There's every chance that the real father will contact the son on his own, independently of the mother.  Since the child is now an adult, she can't prevent that.
 
2014-02-06 12:09:17 PM  

AntiGravitas: FTA:  Dear Desperate, I wish that when your son was a little boy you and your husband had explained his unconventional paternity.

WHAT?  WTH would you put this on a little child?  Why did he need to know this as a little boy?  Stupid.  I did tell my two adopted children where they came from, but that is because they are half-Hispanic and look very different from my two natural born alabaster skinned red-heads.  They WERE going to find out and so we made sure they understood from early on.  But in this situation?  I would NEVER have told the boy as a little tyke.


As a bastard child who though someone else was my biological father for the first 9 years of my life, I'm gonna have to go ahead and disagree fully with this.  I felt far more angst over the lying than the knowledge itself, and  I still call the guy I thought was my father "dad", being that he was the one who had a hand in raising me.

Being deceived by a parent for years is far more damaging than...  what, exactly?  Learning that fairytale traditions (which have never really held true) are fairytales?  You're lying to a child about a fundamental aspect of it's existence to make sure your own sensibilities of decorum remain undisturbed, while adding the lesson that the child's beginnings are too shameful to acknowledge.  That doesn't make sense to me and kinda pissed me off at the time.
 
2014-02-06 12:10:31 PM  

jshine: Iszael: There's no reason to tell the kid at all.

It can't really be avoided though.  There's every chance that the real father will contact the son on his own, independently of the mother.  Since the child is now an adult, she can't prevent that.


Yep. She may as well get her story in with her angle on it first before he tells it with his angle. You never want to be the second man in.
 
2014-02-06 12:10:45 PM  
All the sci-fi fans here and no one mentions Sagan's 'Contact?' The book.
 
2014-02-06 12:12:43 PM  
All she has to do is keep her stupid trap shut and let everyone be happy with things as they are. But I bet she won't do this. Why? Because she's a stupid c*nt, that's why.
 
2014-02-06 12:12:49 PM  

DragonDerk: a_feral_duck: poot_rootbeer: 1derful: A selfish woman gets knocked up by a man, and convinces a lesser man to raise someone else's offspring

Fark you, dude.

The man who raised someone else's child for twenty years is clearly a greater man than the dude who creampied someone else's wife and then disappeared.

Yeah, the guy who accepted and loved this child as his own is a saint. The guy who knocks the slut up and runs away, only to come back after the kid is grown and all the hard work of raising a kid is over expecting to be a part of the kid's life is a selfish asshole.

I'm gonna go with this. The biological father and the mom are the biggest idiots in this story.

I found the following lines from TFA interesting: "He immediately moved across the country. We had some tense conversations about the baby and things ended on a bad note." I wonder if any of those conversations involved abortion or $$$. Also, showing up after the kid is 20, maybe the dude thinks his financial obligations are over.

/that being said, I'd really like to hear the bio father's side of the story.
//maury it is
///slashies for the win!



She should just sue him for back child support now - about the time he sees the number$ she can give him the option to vanish forever.
 
2014-02-06 12:13:36 PM  
 FTFA: "He immediately moved across the country. We had some tense conversations about the baby and things ended on a bad note."

There's a lot missing in the mother's self-serving letter, starting with the above line.  In addition:

I heard sporadically from the "other" man but he never filed for paternity and only requested a few pictures.

Your failure to answer the calls and to keep in contact with him resulted in this sorry mess.  So you're at fault on all counts.
 
2014-02-06 12:14:05 PM  

ChipNASA: Begoggle: Also, Fb- is the father

WOW...timewarp.


The miracle of Viagra.
 
2014-02-06 12:16:27 PM  
Good news son, We found another person to help pay for college.
 
2014-02-06 12:20:02 PM  

EdNortonsTwin: She should just sue him for back child support now - about the time he sees the number$ she can give him the option to vanish forever.


That won't work. Because, from what it sounds like, she never got a support order for the bio-dad, and the kid is past the cut off date for child support, unless it is 21 in their state, she can't now sue for retroactive support. If she had filled a support order before the child passed the cut off date, then she could have sued for retroactive support, but now she is screwed. I know a guy that went through this a few years back.
 
2014-02-06 12:21:32 PM  
When my stepson was still small, her and my parents suggested that I adopt him and change his last name.  I balked at the idea of trying to cover up who he is, which I did get support from my fil, because the kid would be the only offspring to carry his family name.  Fil was the only son, and only had daughters, so stepson is the last one carrying the name.

Sadly though, stepson's father won't contact him, and he missed out on meeting his other cousins.
 
2014-02-06 12:26:44 PM  

ongbok: EdNortonsTwin: She should just sue him for back child support now - about the time he sees the number$ she can give him the option to vanish forever.

That won't work. Because, from what it sounds like, she never got a support order for the bio-dad, and the kid is past the cut off date for child support, unless it is 21 in their state, she can't now sue for retroactive support. If she had filled a support order before the child passed the cut off date, then she could have sued for retroactive support, but now she is screwed. I know a guy that went through this a few years back.


I have heard of plenty of cases where the mom has sued and won retro child support after the kid is grown.  One case was a coworker who found out her husband cheated on her when he got bit for retro support of a 19 yro son, he had no clue about till the suit.  She was pissed at her husband, but also pissed that the other woman waited 19 years to say anything.  It can differ by state and judge.
 
2014-02-06 12:27:46 PM  

brap: Son after nearly a quarter of a century and now having no legal fiscal responsibility for you, your biological father wants to take you out for coffee.

Feel free to stab him in the eye with a spork.


Oh, and thank the guy who was your dad even after I semi-left him so I could open my legs guilt-free (but irresponsibly) for your bio-dad and got knocked up. I admit it was lust, and your bio-dad got me so turned on that I completely forgot I wasn't taking anything because I refused to put out for your not-bio-dad.

Jeez, this clam has some ovaries.
 
2014-02-06 12:28:57 PM  

Nemo's Brother: I've seen enough real life and Maury to see the kind of person that will pick up the sloppy seconds of a 2nd-class whore. They are men devoid of any real balls. They don't have any real wants or dreams, just whatever the slut tells him to want or to dream. They are hardly real people.


You seem to see love as a weakness.

Interesting.
 
2014-02-06 12:31:25 PM  

KellyX: Start calling him Jon Snow until he catches on...


Winter came 20 years ago?
 
2014-02-06 12:38:56 PM  

kbronsito: I thought the headline said 'liberal' bastard... which made this a weird because this stupid lying whore shouldn't be criticizing anyone's choices.

I swear I read it the same way! I kept reading all the articles looking for one my dad wrote in!

 
2014-02-06 12:42:20 PM  

ongbok: abhorrent1: Wouldn't she want him to have access to his family medical history?

Look, this is a woman who cheated on her husband, when she got caught she moved out on him and in with her parents and continued the relationship with the other man, then proceeded to get pregnant by the other man, only reconciling with her husband when the other man left, and in my opinion convinced her husband that the baby was his. Now thinking over all of that, do you really think that she is working with a mentality that will have her concerned with her son's family medical history?


She said:
"But I realized it was lust, not love, and told him it was not going to work out."

So your first assertion is wrong. She dumped the other guy, who by her own account believed himself to be in love with her. She bailed on him.

She also said:
"My husband will be devastated. He always thought we would take this secret to our graves and our son would never know."

So your second assertion is wrong. Her husband knows it's not his kid, and raised him as his own.

I just don't get why everyone here is trying to make any of the people in this situation "the bad guy" when this was a lot more complicated and emotional that just "she was a lying whore" or "he was a wimpy husband" or "the other man just porked some other guy's wife and left."

CLEARLY, she and this other man thought they were in love, and it came during a time when she and her husband were having marital problems. She decided she didn't want to leave her husband after all, and so she told the other man it was over. She didn't want him in her life anymore, and he probably didn't want to be on the hook for child support, so they agreed to cut ties.

Her letter makes it clear, though, that her husband knew the child was not his, and that he loved his wife enough-- despite their rough patch-- to raise the child and treat him like a son should be treated. I'd say that makes him a pretty amazing guy. Perhaps her husband was forgiving because he, too, was seeing someone else during their separation? Perhaps he was partially to blame for her seeking comfort in another's arms?  We don't know.  We can't assume that the issues here weren't bigger than her just wanting to fark a coworker.

And what of her paramour, who thought they would be together? He thought she was leaving her husband to be with him. Don't you think he might have been heartbroken when told that this was not going to work out, that she was going back to her husband and that she thought it best if the baby's parentage were hidden..? The guy was so upset he moved across the country!

The woman made a mess of things by not being honest up-front in every case, but I believe she did it because she was following her emotions and not thinking. I can't really throw any blame around because matters of the heart are not black-and-white. Everyone did what they thought they had to do, given the circumstances. They may have been wrong decisions, short-sighted decisions, or just plain selfish decisions, but being in emotional turmoil can do that to your judgment.
 
2014-02-06 12:43:09 PM  

bigbobowski: kbronsito: I thought the headline said 'liberal' bastard... which made this a weird because this stupid lying whore shouldn't be criticizing anyone's choices.

I swear I read it the same way! I kept reading all the articles looking for one my dad wrote in!


Me too!
 
2014-02-06 12:45:30 PM  

KellyX: Start calling him Jon Snow until he catches on...


I was going to say legally change his last name to Snow, but your way works too.

/maiden name is Snow
//have questions for dad
 
2014-02-06 12:46:38 PM  
Oh, and for you other bastards out there, I thought now would be the time to had out this...

img.fark.net
 
2014-02-06 12:48:58 PM  

markfara: This second letter's lots more interesting. Let's comment on that:

Dear Prudence,

I am a teacher at a small community college. I strongly suspect that one of my new students this semester is a trans woman. My problem is that I'm a voice teacher. If I'm right, her larynx has been affected by testosterone, and is functionally male. Even if she's taking female hormones, the voice changes that puberty brings are permanent. For example, she will be reaching her high notes in falsetto, which requires slightly different technique from that used by a cis woman singing in head voice. But even using the word "falsetto" to describe her high notes seems insulting to me, with its implication that she's using a "false" voice. I can't think of a good way to initiate a conversation about this, but avoiding the issue may compromise how much I can help her sing better. Can I go to my supervisor for advice without violating her privacy? And, dear God, what if I'm wrong?
-Finding Her Voice


Yaknow, there are some girls who just happen to have unusually low voices - my sister for one. Prof should dispense with trying to force the student into a "female" vocal range. There is no such thing.
 
2014-02-06 12:49:15 PM  
sp1.yimg.com
 
2014-02-06 12:53:04 PM  
community.weightwatchers.com

"Liberal" bastard! Why you Conservative cu.......... What? Oh "Literal" bastard.. That's different...Never mind...
 
2014-02-06 12:54:48 PM  
I wonder what is going through bio dads head that he wants to meet his sperm donation this late in the game. He must of watched one of those lifetime movies. I could never go through with that. It's not going to change anything or bring back those years. Just accept it and move on.

There are very few teary eyed stories of men being reunited with offspring they had decades ago. Our culture doesn't approve of it.
 
2014-02-06 12:56:31 PM  
Start out with handing him a rock and saying "We have to stone your mother. I'll explain on the way."
 
2014-02-06 01:00:21 PM  

Nadie_AZ: "Hey son, we are gonna get a pay out as soon as I sue your real dad for all that back child support he never paid. You get half."


Good call.  That's much better advice than Prudie's, which is awful.  Tell the father:  "Listen, Farkface, if you mention one word of this to my son, I will then sue you for 20 years of back child support."  Kudos on the man who raised the kid as if it were his own son.  I don't know if I could do that.

This should serve as a cautionary tale for a woman impregnated by a man other than her husband--go and get scraped.  It's better for all concerned.
 
2014-02-06 01:06:18 PM  
She could leak the paternity in a Vanity Fair interview.  All the kids are doing it now.
 
2014-02-06 01:08:43 PM  

Theory Of Null: I wonder what is going through bio dads head that he wants to meet his sperm donation this late in the game. He must of watched one of those lifetime movies. I could never go through with that. It's not going to change anything or bring back those years. Just accept it and move on.

There are very few teary eyed stories of men being reunited with offspring they had decades ago. Our culture doesn't approve of it.


The son might be interested too -- I know I would be, if only for curiosity-sake.
 
2014-02-06 01:13:02 PM  

Mein Fuhrer I Can Walk: markfara: This second letter's lots more interesting. Let's comment on that:

Dear Prudence,

I am a teacher at a small community college. I strongly suspect that one of my new students this semester is a trans woman. My problem is that I'm a voice teacher. If I'm right, her larynx has been affected by testosterone, and is functionally male. Even if she's taking female hormones, the voice changes that puberty brings are permanent. For example, she will be reaching her high notes in falsetto, which requires slightly different technique from that used by a cis woman singing in head voice. But even using the word "falsetto" to describe her high notes seems insulting to me, with its implication that she's using a "false" voice. I can't think of a good way to initiate a conversation about this, but avoiding the issue may compromise how much I can help her sing better. Can I go to my supervisor for advice without violating her privacy? And, dear God, what if I'm wrong?
-Finding Her Voice

Yaknow, there are some girls who just happen to have unusually low voices - my sister for one. Prof should dispense with trying to force the student into a "female" vocal range. There is no such thing.


encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com31.media.tumblr.com

Examples of low-voiced women who in no respect sound like men and who, back in their respective days, I would have disappointed mightily several times.

/put your lips together and blow is about the dirtiest delivered line in cinema.
 
2014-02-06 01:13:13 PM  

poot_rootbeer: Nemo's Brother: I've seen enough real life and Maury to see the kind of person that will pick up the sloppy seconds of a 2nd-class whore. They are men devoid of any real balls. They don't have any real wants or dreams, just whatever the slut tells him to want or to dream. They are hardly real people.

You seem to see love as a weakness.

Interesting.


He's clearly been hurt.


/LOL
 
2014-02-06 01:15:33 PM  
Mrs. loaba gets a lof of passes. Cheating ain't one of 'em. That's a farking deal breaker.

As for TFA, good man to step up and support the Spawn That Was Not His. After telling the the kid that his mom is/was a lying whore, he should let the kid know that this changes nothing.
 
d23 [TotalFark]
2014-02-06 01:22:06 PM  

OhioUGrad: Being Fark I thought it said "liberal bastard"

I'm not doing well in the reading department this morning.


Dear Prudence had to already deal with a letter like THAT from this guy.

img.fark.net
 
2014-02-06 01:26:51 PM  
I was told my step father was not my biological father when I was 4, I forgot and because my family never spoke of my biological father didn't again find out until I was 16. I was fine with it, but a lifetime interest in people's reactions in similar situations has led me to realize that every situation is heavily nuanced and each individuals reactions are so varied that any attempt at defining a single best practice is not only futile, but counterproductive to the interests of all parties.
 
2014-02-06 01:32:11 PM  

AntiGravitas: FTA:  Dear Desperate, I wish that when your son was a little boy you and your husband had explained his unconventional paternity.

WHAT?  WTH would you put this on a little child?  Why did he need to know this as a little boy?  Stupid.  I did tell my two adopted children where they came from, but that is because they are half-Hispanic and look very different from my two natural born alabaster skinned red-heads.  They WERE going to find out and so we made sure they understood from early on.  But in this situation?  I would NEVER have told the boy as a little tyke.


Because it's medically important? Genetic disorders exist, and family histories exist. If your kid is missing half their genetic history, they need to know that so doctors can check for anything weird.
 
2014-02-06 01:37:11 PM  
His parents really thought they would keep him from ever seeing a copy of his birth certificate?
 
2014-02-06 01:41:46 PM  

jxb465: His parents really thought they would keep him from ever seeing a copy of his birth certificate?


It seems that the mother and her husband were together when he was born, so I am assuming her husband signed the birth certificate.
 
2014-02-06 01:45:10 PM  

jxb465: His parents really thought they would keep him from ever seeing a copy of his birth certificate?


Birth Certificates do not have to list the biological father.  When we adopted our two children new birth certificates were issued with their new names and listing us as the parents.
 
2014-02-06 01:45:47 PM  

DROxINxTHExWIND: Whoa, everybody slow down. Calling this woman a "whore" is mysogynistic bullshiat. Just because...

*reads article*

Oh. Nevermind. Carry on.


Still some misogyny here since some Farkers are attempting to make excuses for the bio-father while condemning the mother.
 
2014-02-06 01:48:53 PM  
076dd0a50e0c1255009e-bd4b8aabaca29897bc751dfaf75b290c.r40.cf1.rackcdn.com
You have none of me in you. You're just a bastard from a basket.
/Bastard from a basket. BASTARD FROM A BASKET!
 
2014-02-06 01:49:20 PM  

AntiGravitas: Birth Certificates do not have to list the biological father.  When we adopted our two children new birth certificates were issued with their new names and listing us as the parents.


Isn't that standard for adoptions?  i.e. once an adoption is complete, the adoptive parents are THE parents (i.e. new birth certificates, etc) and any record to the contrary is essentially flushed?
 
2014-02-06 01:50:46 PM  

netweavr: I don't get why you guys are calling the bio-dad a deadbeat. It sounds like he's been consistently trying to be a father the entire time. He didn't break up with her, she broke up with him.


FTA:
I heard sporadically from the "other" man but he never filed for paternity and only requested a few pictures.

Father of the year he's not.
 
2014-02-06 01:54:16 PM  

Latinwolf: netweavr: I don't get why you guys are calling the bio-dad a deadbeat. It sounds like he's been consistently trying to be a father the entire time. He didn't break up with her, she broke up with him.

FTA:
I heard sporadically from the "other" man but he never filed for paternity and only requested a few pictures.

Father of the year he's not.



You're also hearing the story from her side only, so odds are it's not exactly Fair & Balanced.

/ and, over the course of 20 years, it wouldn't really be appropriate to be calling every other week -- there'd be a restraining order long before now if he had behaved that way
 
2014-02-06 01:55:57 PM  

balki1867: AntiGravitas: Birth Certificates do not have to list the biological father.  When we adopted our two children new birth certificates were issued with their new names and listing us as the parents.

Isn't that standard for adoptions?  i.e. once an adoption is complete, the adoptive parents are THE parents (i.e. new birth certificates, etc) and any record to the contrary is essentially flushed?


Yep.  Then it is up to the parents to decide when, how, and if they tell their kids.  We adopted out of the foster care system and the oldest remembered his birth mother, so we have always been very open and up front about it.
 
2014-02-06 02:04:00 PM  
That's as akward as a yi/farrow family renunion...
 
2014-02-06 02:10:59 PM  
Y'all are some judgmental people.  Should she have lied, probably not, but in the interest of keeping the family together, her husband was in on it too.  He didn't want the kid to EVER find out that he wasn't the biological father.  Mom seems like she's thought about it at least, but hasn't said anything to the kid because her hubby doesn't want her to.

They should tell him for the medical history reasons, but they should do it in as pragmatic a fashion as possible and not bring all the drama of years gone by into it.
 
2014-02-06 02:14:26 PM  

jshine: and, over the course of 20 years, it wouldn't really be appropriate to be calling every other week -- there'd be a restraining order long before now if he had behaved that way


If the guy HAD been that eager to meet his son he'd not have been calling but filing for joint custody. He'd have won too. A restraining order would just have opened the door to that; you can't keep a father from seeing his child unless he's just abusive or outright criminal. Even if the child is the product of an extramarital fling, that father would have the legal right to contact with his child.
 
2014-02-06 02:20:17 PM  

lack of warmth: ongbok: EdNortonsTwin: She should just sue him for back child support now - about the time he sees the number$ she can give him the option to vanish forever.

That won't work. Because, from what it sounds like, she never got a support order for the bio-dad, and the kid is past the cut off date for child support, unless it is 21 in their state, she can't now sue for retroactive support. If she had filled a support order before the child passed the cut off date, then she could have sued for retroactive support, but now she is screwed. I know a guy that went through this a few years back.

I have heard of plenty of cases where the mom has sued and won retro child support after the kid is grown.  One case was a coworker who found out her husband cheated on her when he got bit for retro support of a 19 yro son, he had no clue about till the suit.  She was pissed at her husband, but also pissed that the other woman waited 19 years to say anything.  It can differ by state and judge.



I have to wonder. I believe most states, if you are married at the time of the birth, the spouse is on the birth certificate. I'm not sure if you can go after someone else if there is a person listed on the certificate.
 
2014-02-06 02:24:18 PM  
www.themartywombachershow.com
 
2014-02-06 02:30:55 PM  

RayD8: Harry Freakstorm: Candygram4Mongo

Wait till he's got the flu. That way, you can call him literally one sick bastard...

Wait until he's got the flu and laying in bed so you can call him a sick, lying bastard.

Winner!


Wait until he comes out as gay and call him a magnificent bastard.
 
2014-02-06 02:33:13 PM  

poot_rootbeer: Nemo's Brother: I've seen enough real life and Maury to see the kind of person that will pick up the sloppy seconds of a 2nd-class whore. They are men devoid of any real balls. They don't have any real wants or dreams, just whatever the slut tells him to want or to dream. They are hardly real people.

You seem to see love as a weakness.

Interesting.


I don't confuse love for the desire to be loved at any cost. We have all seen that pathetically clingy guy or girl that always jumps from one 'engagement' to another. What they have isn't love. It is a mental disorder rooted in abandonment issues and a low self-esteem.
 
2014-02-06 02:36:39 PM  
So while we're on the subject, how *do* you tell your son he's a liberal bastard?
 
2014-02-06 02:40:15 PM  
"Dear Prudence: How do I tell my son he's a literal bastard?"

WELL DON'T DO IT THAT WAY!!!
 
2014-02-06 02:40:16 PM  

Latinwolf: DROxINxTHExWIND: Whoa, everybody slow down. Calling this woman a "whore" is mysogynistic bullshiat. Just because...

*reads article*

Oh. Nevermind. Carry on.

Still some misogyny here since some Farkers are attempting to make excuses for the bio-father while condemning the mother.


If the bio-father is consistently blocked from access or contact, he would have to spend a great deal of money to level out the playing field that favours the mother's custody.

So the question is: why do you hate poor people?

We only know of his actions and motivations through the testimony of someone who, in seeking advice, has revealed quite enough of her actions and motivations as to cast doubt upon her status as a reliable informant.

And she's a lying whore.

/satisfied?
 
2014-02-06 02:42:16 PM  
I read the headline as saying 'liberal bastard' and thought she should tell him with a baseball bat.
 
2014-02-06 02:42:19 PM  
img.fark.net
She should expect this response
 
2014-02-06 02:59:07 PM  

neongoats: Well kid, I gotta tell ya, being a bastard pretty much meant nothing to me. Of course, I knew my "dad" wasn't my biological father by the time I was about 4. I also stayed up all night that winter and knew there was no such thing as santa.

At least until I was 20 and found out that my grandparents didn't consider me one of their grandkids(me being the oldest one of them) because I was illegitimate. Thanks, you supposedly christian assholes. Glad you're dead.

So basically your mom is a lying, slutty ho bag and should feel bad forever.


Well I'm certainly glad it meant nothing to you......

///Sorry your family sucked/s
 
2014-02-06 03:08:23 PM  

baconbeard: So while we're on the subject, how *do* you tell your son he's a liberal bastard?


High five!
 
2014-02-06 03:22:27 PM  

ElPresidente: What the bastard's Fark name?


QA. I'm sorry to inform you that I am not your father. Darth vader is your real father.
 
2014-02-06 03:35:31 PM  

1derful: A selfish woman gets knocked up by a man, and convinces a lesser man to raise someone else's offspring, and lies to the kid about it, and she's concerned about that kid having his biological father in his life?

It sounds like the bio father is the least repugnant character in this whole situation.


I'd say the man who raised another man's child as his own while the biological father did nothing for 20 years is the good guy. Who is probably going to be rather hurt by all of this.

Showing up 20 years later is selfish. The guy seems like a real asshole - why did he suddenly start caring?
 
2014-02-06 03:45:36 PM  

Valiente: Mein Fuhrer I Can Walk: markfara: This second letter's lots more interesting. Let's comment on that:

Dear Prudence,

I am a teacher at a small community college. I strongly suspect that one of my new students this semester is a trans woman. My problem is that I'm a voice teacher. If I'm right, her larynx has been affected by testosterone, and is functionally male. Even if she's taking female hormones, the voice changes that puberty brings are permanent. For example, she will be reaching her high notes in falsetto, which requires slightly different technique from that used by a cis woman singing in head voice. But even using the word "falsetto" to describe her high notes seems insulting to me, with its implication that she's using a "false" voice. I can't think of a good way to initiate a conversation about this, but avoiding the issue may compromise how much I can help her sing better. Can I go to my supervisor for advice without violating her privacy? And, dear God, what if I'm wrong?
-Finding Her Voice

Yaknow, there are some girls who just happen to have unusually low voices - my sister for one. Prof should dispense with trying to force the student into a "female" vocal range. There is no such thing.

[encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com image 200x252][31.media.tumblr.com image 359x439]

Examples of low-voiced women who in no respect sound like men and who, back in their respective days, I would have disappointed mightily several times.

/put your lips together and blow is about the dirtiest delivered line in cinema.

She could sing Bass in a Sweet Adeline Quartet.
 
2014-02-06 03:53:58 PM  

ZeroCorpse: The woman made a mess of things by not being honest up-front in every case, but I believe she did it because she was following her emotions and not thinking. I can't really throw any blame around because matters of the heart are not black-and-white. Everyone did what they thought they had to do, given the circumstances. They may have been wrong decisions, short-sighted decisions, or just plain selfish decisions, but being in emotional turmoil can do that to your judgment.



Except for the prt where she was consistantly acting like a lying whore.
 
2014-02-06 04:26:08 PM  

cynicalbastard: poot_rootbeer: 1derful: A selfish woman gets knocked up by a man, and convinces a lesser man to raise someone else's offspring

Fark you, dude.

The man who raised someone else's child for twenty years is clearly a greater man than the dude who creampied someone else's wife and then disappeared.

That's very noble and all, but in strictly Darwinian terms the non-bio dad is a dead end. Technically, you're supposed to kill the cubs to bring the female into rut so you can pass on your genes.


That's ignoring the possibility that having a brother raises his biological daughter's fitness.  Sure is nice to have a sibling to help you through a tough patch.
 
2014-02-06 04:26:28 PM  

d23: OhioUGrad: Being Fark I thought it said "liberal bastard"

I'm not doing well in the reading department this morning.

Dear Prudence had to already deal with a letter like THAT from this guy.

[img.fark.net image 260x194]


Oh how I love those people! (especially the ones at the grocery stores with American flags on the back of their "too-fat scooter")
 
2014-02-06 05:10:48 PM  

ZeroCorpse: ongbok: abhorrent1: Wouldn't she want him to have access to his family medical history?

Look, this is a woman who cheated on her husband, when she got caught she moved out on him and in with her parents and continued the relationship with the other man, then proceeded to get pregnant by the other man, only reconciling with her husband when the other man left, and in my opinion convinced her husband that the baby was his. Now thinking over all of that, do you really think that she is working with a mentality that will have her concerned with her son's family medical history?

She said:
"But I realized it was lust, not love, and told him it was not going to work out."

So your first assertion is wrong. She dumped the other guy, who by her own account believed himself to be in love with her. She bailed on him.
.
.
.
Perhaps her husband was forgiving ...


Hey, hey, hey!
HEY!

This is Fark.  You take that reasonable approach out of here right now!  Don't you know you can take a fact or two and some assumptions and construct a rigid, infallible internet argument so watertight that to assail that argument in ANY WAY makes said assailant a worse person than Hitler?

You need to brush up on your conclusion jump and your knee-jerk reactions.
 
2014-02-06 05:34:07 PM  

OhioUGrad: d23: OhioUGrad: Being Fark I thought it said "liberal bastard"

I'm not doing well in the reading department this morning.

Dear Prudence had to already deal with a letter like THAT from this guy.

[img.fark.net image 260x194]

Oh how I love those people! (especially the ones at the grocery stores with American flags on the back of their "too-fat scooter")


Please, it's "cripple cart" or "lard dolly". Too fat is too hurtful!

ronaldrenwick.com
 
2014-02-06 05:55:19 PM  

Latinwolf: netweavr: I don't get why you guys are calling the bio-dad a deadbeat. It sounds like he's been consistently trying to be a father the entire time. He didn't break up with her, she broke up with him.

FTA:
I heard sporadically from the "other" man but he never filed for paternity and only requested a few pictures.

Father of the year he's not.


Might be she's crazy/ hot.
 
2014-02-06 05:57:48 PM  

Banned on the Run: ZeroCorpse: ongbok: abhorrent1: Wouldn't she want him to have access to his family medical history?

Look, this is a woman who cheated on her husband, when she got caught she moved out on him and in with her parents and continued the relationship with the other man, then proceeded to get pregnant by the other man, only reconciling with her husband when the other man left, and in my opinion convinced her husband that the baby was his. Now thinking over all of that, do you really think that she is working with a mentality that will have her concerned with her son's family medical history?

She said:
"But I realized it was lust, not love, and told him it was not going to work out."

So your first assertion is wrong. She dumped the other guy, who by her own account believed himself to be in love with her. She bailed on him.
.
.
.
Perhaps her husband was forgiving ...

Hey, hey, hey!
HEY!

This is Fark.  You take that reasonable approach out of here right now!  Don't you know you can take a fact or two and some assumptions and construct a rigid, infallible internet argument so watertight that to assail that argument in ANY WAY makes said assailant a worse person than Hitler?

You need to brush up on your conclusion jump and your knee-jerk reactions.


Agreed, or it might be he's the husband.
 
2014-02-06 06:13:15 PM  

Valiente: "lard dolly"


that is amazing!
 
2014-02-06 08:02:51 PM  
"Have you ever considered joining the Night's Watch?"
 
2014-02-06 10:47:41 PM  

poot_rootbeer: 1derful: A selfish woman gets knocked up by a man, and convinces a lesser man to raise someone else's offspring

Fark you, dude.

The man who raised someone else's child for twenty years is clearly a greater man than the dude who creampied someone else's wife and then disappeared.


That's seldom how women see it.  And few people of either sex respect a cuckold.
 
2014-02-07 12:31:50 AM  
"It will crush my son and destroy his trust."

lh5.googleusercontent.com
 
2014-02-07 06:35:34 AM  
I really thought she was leading up to "you'll  have to kill the father".  I think I'm a psychopath...
 
2014-02-07 01:53:20 PM  

akula: jshine: and, over the course of 20 years, it wouldn't really be appropriate to be calling every other week -- there'd be a restraining order long before now if he had behaved that way

If the guy HAD been that eager to meet his son he'd not have been calling but filing for joint custody. He'd have won too. A restraining order would just have opened the door to that; you can't keep a father from seeing his child unless he's just abusive or outright criminal. Even if the child is the product of an extramarital fling, that father would have the legal right to contact with his child.


Of course the people making excuses for the absent daddy don't want to consider that, they'd rather lay all the blame on the mother and not the father who was farking around with another mans' wife and then knocked her up and went across the country. If it was the daddy giving only his side of the story and it made momma look bad, I'm guessing most of the guys throwing out the 'we're only hearing one side" excuse against momma wouldn't do so if they were only hearing this guys side of the situation.
 
2014-02-07 03:45:13 PM  
Have Shaq tell him:

www.dnevnikkosarkasa.com
 
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