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(Oregon Live)   Neo-Portland police release sketch of man accused of exposing tentacle-like appendage to children. TETSUUUUOOOOOOO   (oregonlive.com) divider line 42
    More: Scary, portland police, NE postcode area  
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6768 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Feb 2014 at 7:05 AM (37 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



42 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-02-06 12:19:00 AM  
God that movie was boring as shiat.  Way overrated. Technically amazing, but boring as shiat.
 
2014-02-06 12:43:41 AM  
I remember seeing Akira when it came out and thinking that perhaps I just didn't get it... maybe it was a cultural thing.

Then, in college one semester, I had a Japanese roommate who had a VHS copy of the Japanese release.

He admitted that, even after repeated viewings, he was not really certain that he 'got' it.
 
2014-02-06 07:07:29 AM  
Goddamned shirtcockers.

I hate shirtcockers.
 
2014-02-06 07:07:55 AM  
A snake is eating him.
 
2014-02-06 07:11:09 AM  
FTFA:  They described the suspect as a white man, 20 to 40 years old, between 5-foot-9 and 5- foot-10-inches tall, weighing between 170 and 185 pounds, with a medium to heavy build, dark brown hair, a scruffy face, wearing a white T-shirt, blue or green boxer shorts and dirty old running shoes.

oh shiat, they're on to me....
 
2014-02-06 07:11:18 AM  
The Thing (Fantastic 4, not Artic) is gonna be pissed when he finds out his neck got stolen.
 
2014-02-06 07:14:55 AM  
It looks as though Georgie Boy lost about a hundred pounds and developed one hell of a horrifying tumor.

/DRINK!
 
2014-02-06 07:15:42 AM  
More like a small noodly appendage...
 
2014-02-06 07:18:44 AM  

xanadian: FTFA:  They described the suspect as a white man, 20 to 40 years old, between 5-foot-9 and 5- foot-10-inches tall, weighing between 170 and 185 pounds, with a medium to heavy build, dark brown hair, a scruffy face, wearing a white T-shirt, blue or green boxer shorts and dirty old running shoes.

oh shiat, they're on to me....


That or it's the werewolf from Being Human (who's gotten especially buff this season).
 
2014-02-06 07:18:53 AM  
KANEDAAAAAAAAAA!!!

/seriously guys?! I'm the first?!
 
2014-02-06 07:19:10 AM  
KANEDAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!
 
2014-02-06 07:20:30 AM  
I love how the 4th grader who drew the sketch signed it so when the lithographs are printed he'll finally get the recognition he deserves.
 
2014-02-06 07:20:58 AM  

AntonChigger: KANEDAAAAAAAAAA!!!

/seriously guys?! I'm the first?!


/Shakes tiny tentacle.
 
2014-02-06 07:23:54 AM  
The suspect was hatless.
 
2014-02-06 07:34:39 AM  
Keep Portland Wierd
 
2014-02-06 07:38:08 AM  
Is it not cold there?
 
2014-02-06 07:44:31 AM  

libranoelrose: Is it not cold there?


This.

Heck of a way to make a living right now. Bbrrrrrrrr
 
2014-02-06 07:50:30 AM  
FTFA: "The sketch includes something around the man's neck. Police spokesman Sgt. Pete Simpson said in an e-mail that it "could be a bandana or his boxer shorts. Descriptions vary.''

I don't know about you all, but I love to have a dirty smelly pair of boxers over my face when I go on my flashing sprees.
 
2014-02-06 07:52:34 AM  

bob_ross: God that movie was boring as shiat.  Way overrated. Technically amazing, but boring as shiat.


I agree the french do henti way better than the Japanese
 
2014-02-06 07:56:43 AM  
Oh god. Someone better find this guy quick. That's like stage 8 cancer tumors all over his neck and jaw.
 
2014-02-06 08:09:13 AM  
that movie made perfect sense, granted i was tripping acid
 
2014-02-06 08:09:32 AM  
Can I help you?

static2.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2014-02-06 08:21:16 AM  

bob_ross: God that movie was boring as shiat.  Way overrated. Technically amazing, but boring as shiat.


I've heard Akira called many things, but never boring.

Made quite an impression on a young me, I wonder if I would enjoy it as much if my first viewing was at my current age.  Possibly not.
 
2014-02-06 08:29:40 AM  
Gentlemen... we're going to the Olympics.

/nice that I get to use that today.
 
2014-02-06 08:36:59 AM  

octopossum: that movie made perfect sense, granted i was tripping acid


QFT. I've seen Akira many times but the only time it made any kind of sense was when I tripping on shrooms.
 
2014-02-06 08:53:31 AM  
Why are his intestines wrapped around his neck?
 
2014-02-06 08:56:02 AM  

Dwight_Yeast: That or it's the werewolf from Being Human (who's gotten especially buff this season).


Oh yeeesss!
 
2014-02-06 09:40:24 AM  
FTA:  The sketch includes something around the man's neck. Police spokesman Sgt. Pete Simpson said in an e-mail that it "could be a bandana or his boxer shorts. Descriptions vary.''

images.wikia.com

Unavailable for comment.
 
2014-02-06 09:46:43 AM  

miniflea: bob_ross: God that movie was boring as shiat.  Way overrated. Technically amazing, but boring as shiat.

I've heard Akira called many things, but never boring.

Made quite an impression on a young me, I wonder if I would enjoy it as much if my first viewing was at my current age.  Possibly not.


It's still one of my favorites. I watch it every so often.

If you pay attention to the story from the gangs point of view it makes perfect sense
 
2014-02-06 09:59:29 AM  
It would appear the Dark Lord C'thulhu has returned, and he's flashing children in Portland. O_o'
 
2014-02-06 11:01:47 AM  
Akira the movie made no sense.  It wasn't until years later, when I read the manga, that I finally understood wtf was going on.  They left out important things when they made that film, like the plot.
 
2014-02-06 11:10:02 AM  
After reviewing the sketch I can assure you that this man is only a Changeling pretending to be engulfed by living crystal. Just trick him into lying.
 
2014-02-06 11:10:08 AM  
Person of interest:
i1.ytimg.com
 
2014-02-06 11:59:14 AM  
He fled to KANEDA!
 
2014-02-06 01:50:02 PM  
Flashing is one of those things that I cannot possibly begin to care about. Talk about a non-crime crime.

Tell me how the "victim" of a flasher suffers a loss in any way.
 
2014-02-06 02:04:27 PM  
+1 for the reference.  i tried finding a good gif of the hospital hallway scene and add my own "mind blown" kind of statement but i couldnt find it.  akira references are still some of my favorite references.

gshepnyc:
Flashing is one of those things that I cannot possibly begin to care about. Talk about a non-crime crime.

Tell me how the "victim" of a flasher suffers a loss in any way.


b-b-b-but a parent might have to tell their snowflake things they already should have told them about.  i mean their lives are completely ruined now.
 
2014-02-06 02:33:19 PM  
Yup, we're doomed.

img.fark.net
 
2014-02-06 03:08:06 PM  

miniflea: bob_ross: God that movie was boring as shiat.  Way overrated. Technically amazing, but boring as shiat.

I've heard Akira called many things, but never boring.

Made quite an impression on a young me, I wonder if I would enjoy it as much if my first viewing was at my current age.  Possibly not.


Never go back and watch your old favorites.  It's almost always disappointing.  Having seen Akira recently, I can attest.
 
2014-02-06 06:50:50 PM  

Kahabut: miniflea: bob_ross: God that movie was boring as shiat.  Way overrated. Technically amazing, but boring as shiat.

I've heard Akira called many things, but never boring.

Made quite an impression on a young me, I wonder if I would enjoy it as much if my first viewing was at my current age.  Possibly not.

Never go back and watch your old favorites.  It's almost always disappointing.  Having seen Akira recently, I can attest.


Try "Attack on Titan" instead.  It's got some slick animation and it is creepy as hell.  Most excellent.
 
2014-02-06 10:27:03 PM  
The suspect was described as being very tall and slender.
 
2014-02-07 06:11:57 AM  
I can't believe all the hate for Akira.  Fantastic movie.  And if the complaint is that it didn't make sense, I don't know what to say.  Maybe stick to old Three Stooges shorts?
 
2014-02-07 12:54:26 PM  

Cranky McOldfart: I can't believe all the hate for Akira.  Fantastic movie.  And if the complaint is that it didn't make sense, I don't know what to say.  Maybe stick to old Three Stooges shorts?


How old were you when you first saw it?  How many years has it been?  If you saw it like I did, as a young adult (read:teenager), and then watched it again 15 years later, it's not as good as it was.  That was my only point.  Your memory of the movie is better than the movie.  (See: Goonies, neverending story, Blood, ninja scroll, etc)

Akira made perfect sense, as long as you know enough about anime to realize they NEVER explain the whole story, and there is probably a manga somewhere that does.  (I've read it, it explains a lot they left out of the movie)
 
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