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(TC Palm)   Man says he can't perform DUI test because he can't dance like Britney Spears. Wait, Britney Spears can dance?   (blogs.tcpalm.com) divider line 31
    More: Florida, Britney Spears, Vero Beach, DUI test, Planet Hollywood Resort & Casino, permanent residency, dancing  
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1957 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Feb 2014 at 5:11 PM (22 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



31 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-02-05 04:16:01 PM
 
2014-02-05 05:13:44 PM
She's almost as talented as Zsa Zsa Gabor.
 
2014-02-05 05:22:01 PM
He can dance if he wants to.
 
2014-02-05 05:24:27 PM
She did do a lot of choreographed dancy stuff back in the day. Wasn't she also a Mouseketeer, or am I thinking of someone else?
 
2014-02-05 05:25:38 PM

uncleacid: He can dance if he wants to.


DAMN YOUUUUUU!!!!

/ now I have safety dance stuck in my head
 
2014-02-05 05:28:46 PM
Oh, come on. Britney died years ago, and her replacement can't dance at all.
 
2014-02-05 05:38:29 PM
No. She can't SING, but she is one hell of a dancer. Her specialty is the horizontal mambo.
 
2014-02-05 05:41:48 PM
She's getting about 3 million dollars to dance around in Vegas over the next couple years.

Would people be willing to pay you that much for what you do, submitter?
 
2014-02-05 05:43:55 PM

SwiftFox: She's almost as talented as Zsa Zsa Gabor.


img.fark.net
At least Zsa Zsa could make hotcakes and an engine gasket at the same time.
 
2014-02-05 05:53:32 PM
Dance yes, and is actually fairly entertaining to watch, with the sound turned off.  Singing on the other hand...she doesn't know how to do that.
 
2014-02-05 06:14:34 PM
If you dance like Britney  it's proof that your drunk.
 
2014-02-05 06:16:29 PM
25.media.tumblr.com3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-02-05 06:22:12 PM
ALCOHOL:

Helping white people pass DUI tests since 1903
 
2014-02-05 06:24:28 PM
Leave Britney alone!
(when she's sober and in good shape, chica can SHAKE that THANG.)
 
2014-02-05 06:28:51 PM

Harry Freakstorm: SwiftFox: She's almost as talented as Zsa Zsa Gabor.

[img.fark.net image 256x192]
At least Zsa Zsa could make hotcakes and an engine gasket at the same time.


that's Eva
 
2014-02-05 06:36:11 PM
Field sobriety tests can only work against you.

You are only required to take a breathalyzer.

No cop has ever entered into his field report, "Subject passed all fireld sobriety tests with flying colors" but you will get noted if you do anything the officer believes to be indicative of inebriation; the "results" are completely subjective.
 
2014-02-05 06:49:30 PM
Submitter, you're stupid.
 
2014-02-05 06:55:12 PM

ArcadianRefugee: Field sobriety tests can only work against you.

You are only required to take a breathalyzer.

No cop has ever entered into his field report, "Subject passed all fireld sobriety tests with flying colors" but you will get noted if you do anything the officer believes to be indicative of inebriation; the "results" are completely subjective.


We had to do field sobriety test in the law enforcement academy.  Despite the fact that I was dead sober, I failed most of them.  I was however, taking a medication that I later found out screws with your sense of balance.
 
2014-02-05 07:00:10 PM

ArcadianRefugee: Field sobriety tests can only work against you.
You are only required to take a breathalyzer.


Varies by jurisdiction.
 
2014-02-05 07:04:32 PM
Yes. Of course she can. Are you braindead, submitter? This headline is so stupid it actually makes me angry
 
2014-02-05 07:30:48 PM
Yes, she can dance.  She just cannot sing and dance at the same time.
 
2014-02-05 07:35:25 PM

CruiserTwelve: Obligatory:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QhFAkaYuGGY


I love Clementine so hard.
 
2014-02-05 07:48:52 PM
If you never noticed Britney Spears can dance it's forgivable.  It probably just means you're a heterosexual male.  

img.fark.net
 
2014-02-05 08:03:55 PM

poot_rootbeer: ArcadianRefugee: Field sobriety tests can only work against you.
You are only required to take a breathalyzer.

Varies by jurisdiction.


It shouldn't (and I haven't found one yet that does).

Even the breathalyzer is technically "voluntary", although you can be penalized (license revoked) fro declining.

Field sobriety tests, though, are completely subjective and can only work against the suspect. Even the NHTSA found the accuracy of the various tests to be only in the 70-80% range, and that's just for those they "approve"; the classic "head back, eyes closed" and "alphabet backward" are not on their list.

For instance: In 1991, a video of six common FSTs (using various subjects) was shown 14 police officers. The officers gave their opinion that 46% of these innocent people were too drunk to be able to drive.

The blood-alcohol concentration of each of the 21 DUI subjects had been 0.00 when the recordings were made.[Cite]

Unlike an actual breathalyzer -- and not the one they give you roadside in their little plastic baggie -- none of the above tests can prove your innocence; they are only there to gather more incriminating evidence against you.

The breathalyzer, on the other hand, can clearly indicate above or below 0.08.

If you know of a locality in which you are required (under threat of penalty) to take an FST, let me know.
 
2014-02-05 08:25:11 PM
there's a severe lack of britany spears pictures in this thread
/fix this, please.
//my background for windows 95 was her 'topless' in that celophane tube top...
 
2014-02-05 09:43:36 PM

Harry Freakstorm: SwiftFox: She's almost as talented as Zsa Zsa Gabor.

[img.fark.net image 256x192]
At least Zsa Zsa could make hotcakes and an engine gasket at the same time.


Ahem.... that's Eva
 
2014-02-05 09:47:11 PM

dbrunker: If you never noticed Britney Spears can dance it's forgivable.  It probably just means you're a heterosexual male.  


Even now that she's a mom, she's a hell of a sexy milf.

And all you haters can tell us how you've sold more albums than her 34 million.
 
2014-02-05 11:12:44 PM

Suckmaster Burstingfoam: dbrunker: If you never noticed Britney Spears can dance it's forgivable.  It probably just means you're a heterosexual male.  

Even now that she's a mom, she's a hell of a sexy milf.

And all you haters can tell us how you've sold more albums than her 34 million.


She's not a MILF.

To be a MILF, you have to have children that are old enough to have post-pubescent friends that want to fark you.

And anyway, that ain't Britney Spears. That's her replacement. Spears was shot and killed by a religious radical years ago when she was doing a Pepsi ad.
 
2014-02-06 02:04:40 AM

ZeroCorpse: She's not a MILF.

To be a MILF, you have to have children that are old enough to have post-pubescent friends that want to fark you.


Heh, her kids are old enough to be on Facebook.
 
2014-02-06 09:55:49 AM

ArcadianRefugee: If you know of a locality in which you are required (under threat of penalty) to take an FST, let me know.


I've found several messages from DUI attorneys asserting that in some states, refusal to take a field sobriety test can result in license forfeiture -- but no details about which states this is true in, so perhaps you are correct.

If you are pulled over under suspicion and asked to perform a FST, it probably couldn't hurt to ask if participation is voluntary.  If they say yes, refuse.  If they don't, it may be the better option to submit to the test and let your lawyer argue its unreliability.
 
2014-02-06 12:14:13 PM
No one? Just me? Aight then

.img.fark.net
DAMN YOUR DRUNK TESTS ARE HARD
 
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