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(Newser)   Hey man, sometimes you have to cheat on a test. In the Navy. To run a nuclear reactor   (newser.com) divider line 18
    More: Scary, navies, nuclear reactors, understatement  
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3421 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Feb 2014 at 4:16 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2014-02-06 01:30:38 AM  
2 votes:
Former EM nuke on the 626 here

I miss the days of inviting over the instructors and strippers for partys
2014-02-05 09:33:23 PM  
2 votes:
"Hmm, I wonder what this button does"

*click*

Aaa Oooo Gah  Aaa Oooo Gah  Aaa Oooo Gah

(robot voice over intercom) "Warning.  Warning.  Red Alert.  Red Alert.  Core Meltdown Imminent.  This is not a drill.  Repeat.  This is not a drill.  Man emergency stations at once."

"Oops."

/walks away, whistling nonchalantly.
2014-02-05 08:16:03 PM  
2 votes:

EffervescingElephant: There is one critical thing you always need to remember...

You Can NEVER Put Too Much Water in A Nuclear Reactor!!

//That is all


I'm pretty sure the folks at TEPCO would disagree with you.
2014-02-05 06:22:07 PM  
2 votes:

Freudian_slipknot: My ex went through that program.

Rampant cheating would explain how someone who otherwise failed so spectacularly at life managed to pass.

Only to be booted a couple years later for gross mental and emotional problems....


You would not believe how common it is to get truely weird people in the nuke program. One guy i remember truely believe he was a wizard. He always surrounded his room with "dragon dust", believed his inner self was a half-dragon, half-flame spirit, and actively dressed as a "goth vampire" when he went out.  He also would bring his laptop to a nearby strip club and use their wifi to play WOW there. One of the strippers there took notice, "dated" him for a couple years, and took him for everything he was worth (~$50,000).

One time, i remember him running out into the street in San Diego and start mumbling to himself. After a bit of this, he staggered away and claimed that he just saved San Diego from a huge disaster that the "spirits" were warning him was about to happen. He casted a spell of protection that kept it safe.

He ended up getting kicked out when it came to light that he had sexual contact with his 13 year old sister-in-law.
2014-02-05 05:43:50 PM  
2 votes:

Descartes: After reviewing the exam, I can see why they cheated.

Instructions: Read each question carefully. Answer all questions. Time limit 4 hours. Begin immediately. Work in numerical order. Equipment remaining from question #1 may prove useful in questions #3 and #6.


1. Medicine.  You have been provided with a razor blade, a piece of gauze, and a bottle of scotch. Remove your appendix. Do not suture until your work has been inspected. You have 15 minutes.

2. History.  Describe the history of the papacy from its origins to the present day. Concentrate especially but not exclusively on its social, political, economic, religious, and philosophical impact on Europe, Asia, America, and Africa. Be brief, concise, and specific.

3. Public Speaking.  Two thousand drug-crazed aborigines are storming the classroom. Calm them. You may use any ancient language except Latin and Greek.

4. Biology.  Create life. Estimate the difference in subsequent human culture if this form of life had been created 500 million years earlier. Pay special attention to its probable effect on the English Parliamentary System.

5. Music.  Write a piano concerto. Orchestrate and perform it with flute and drum. You will find a piano under your seat.

6. Engineering.  The disassembled parts of a high power rifle have been placed in a box on your desk. You will also find an instruction manual printed in Swahili. In 10 minutes a hungry Bengal tiger will be admitted to the room. Take whatever action you feel is appropriate. Be prepared to justify your decision.

7. Sociology.  What sociological problems might accompany the end of the world? Construct and experiment to test your theory.

8. Management Science.  Define management. Define science. How do they relate? Create a generalized algorithm to optimize all managerial decisions. Assuming a Cray X-MP supercomputer supporting 50 terminals, each terminal to activate your algorithm, design the communications interface and all necessary control problems.

9. ...


I think that test is legitimately easier. At least you have 4 hours for that one, we only had 2 hours.
2014-02-05 05:34:22 PM  
2 votes:
After reviewing the exam, I can see why they cheated.

Instructions: Read each question carefully. Answer all questions. Time limit 4 hours. Begin immediately. Work in numerical order. Equipment remaining from question #1 may prove useful in questions #3 and #6.


1. Medicine.  You have been provided with a razor blade, a piece of gauze, and a bottle of scotch. Remove your appendix. Do not suture until your work has been inspected. You have 15 minutes.

2. History.  Describe the history of the papacy from its origins to the present day. Concentrate especially but not exclusively on its social, political, economic, religious, and philosophical impact on Europe, Asia, America, and Africa. Be brief, concise, and specific.

3. Public Speaking.  Two thousand drug-crazed aborigines are storming the classroom. Calm them. You may use any ancient language except Latin and Greek.

4. Biology.  Create life. Estimate the difference in subsequent human culture if this form of life had been created 500 million years earlier. Pay special attention to its probable effect on the English Parliamentary System.

5. Music.  Write a piano concerto. Orchestrate and perform it with flute and drum. You will find a piano under your seat.

6. Engineering.  The disassembled parts of a high power rifle have been placed in a box on your desk. You will also find an instruction manual printed in Swahili. In 10 minutes a hungry Bengal tiger will be admitted to the room. Take whatever action you feel is appropriate. Be prepared to justify your decision.

7. Sociology.  What sociological problems might accompany the end of the world? Construct and experiment to test your theory.

8. Management Science.  Define management. Define science. How do they relate? Create a generalized algorithm to optimize all managerial decisions. Assuming a Cray X-MP supercomputer supporting 50 terminals, each terminal to activate your algorithm, design the communications interface and all necessary control problems.

9. Psychology.  Based on your knowledge of their works, evaluate the emotional stability, degree of adjustment, and repressed frustration of each: Alexander of Aphrodisias, Ramses II, Gregory of Nicea, and Hammurabi. Support your evaluation with quotations from each man's work. It is not necessary to translate.

10. Economics.Develop a realistic plan for refinancing the national debt. Trace the possible effects of your plan on these areas: Cubism, The Donatist Controversy, and the wave theory of light.

11. Epistemology.  Take a position for or against truth. Prove the validity of your position.

12. Classical Physics.  Explain the nature of matter. Include in your answer an evaluation of the impact of the development of mathematics on science.

13. Modern Physics.  Produce element 119. Determine its half-life.

14. Energy Resources.  Construct a working fusion reactor.

15. Philosophy.  Sketch the development of human thought. Estimate its significance. Compare this with the development of any other kind of thought.

16. General Knowledge.Describe in detail, briefly.

17. Extra Credit.Define the universe. Give three examples.
2014-02-05 04:31:21 PM  
2 votes:

Weatherkiss: In which case we'll have $2 million worth of drinking birdies collecting dust in storage even though the Navy doesn't need any more.


Yeah yeah, you trot out the snark, but if you actually run the numbers, you'll see that it's far more fiscally-responsible to ship the drinking-birds directly to the Arizona Boneyard than it is to try to cancel and scrap the entire Drinking-Bird Procurement Program
2014-02-06 07:47:36 AM  
1 votes:
Oh the humanity!

Seriously. Every nuke cheats. Somehow they manage to keep the boats going despite of this. Who cares?

/Ex nuke
//E-div
2014-02-06 01:07:54 AM  
1 votes:

WhiteCrane: I was an electronics tech/Reactor operator on subs.  Went through training starting in 1986.
[...]   Looking back on it, I frequently wish I'd followed the guy who said heck with it, told them he quit, got busted in rank and became a Photographer's Mate instead.  At that point, he actually started to enjoy his time in the Navy. I, on the other hand, was stuck spending over 80 hours a week on the submarine while it was in port.  He got to follow the brass around to take pictures.


That's about when I was a MM/Nuc.  If I had to do it all over again, I'd have been a sonar tech. Pull in, flip a switch, hit the bars.
2014-02-06 12:32:07 AM  
1 votes:
Sorry, meant 26 WEEKS for the ET portion, NOT months.
2014-02-05 09:00:48 PM  
1 votes:
Me, to my ex-Nuke husband: Hey! Some sailors got cheating on an exam, that you'd really not like them to cheat on! 3 guesses, first 2 don't count!
Husband: Uh huh.
Me: At a South Carolina facility!
Husband: Oh christ...
Me: Awww yeah... That's what I was looking for.

I live to hear my husband make that "Oh christ" groan. :)
2014-02-05 04:53:27 PM  
1 votes:
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2014-02-05 04:27:26 PM  
1 votes:

BigNumber12: Nuclear reactors these days practically run themselves. I don't know what a soldier would do that one of those little drinking-bird toys couldn't.


Well, with these defense budget cuts, we can't afford to have drinking birdies running the reactors.

Unless they're made in states represented by members of congress who create the defense budget. In which case we'll have $2 million worth of drinking birdies collecting dust in storage even though the Navy doesn't need any more.
2014-02-05 04:27:24 PM  
1 votes:
img.fark.net

approves
2014-02-05 04:26:01 PM  
1 votes:
MFAWG


This is the third one in a couple of weeks, added to the National Guard recruiting scandal.

Wtf is going out there?

www.upl.co
2014-02-05 04:24:28 PM  
1 votes:

BigNumber12: Nuclear reactors these days practically run themselves. I don't know what a soldier would do that one of those little drinking-bird toys couldn't.


lh4.ggpht.com
2014-02-05 04:19:30 PM  
1 votes:
Nuclear reactors these days practically run themselves. I don't know what a soldier would do that one of those little drinking-bird toys couldn't.
2014-02-05 04:11:51 PM  
1 votes:
Hey Lt. Col. I want fries with that.
 
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