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(Newser)   Hey man, sometimes you have to cheat on a test. In the Navy. To run a nuclear reactor   (newser.com) divider line 59
    More: Scary, navies, nuclear reactors, understatement  
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3415 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Feb 2014 at 4:16 PM (28 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-02-05 03:58:18 PM
The amount of money these fools just flushed down the toilet is MASSIVE.  Fleet guys coming back to that command are usually in line for 70-100K bonuses for reenlisting, plus pretty good pay throughout the rest of their time.  Had they failed the exam, they would have gone through formal remediation to pass it.

Now they're going to be unemployed, maybe with an OTH on their discharge paperwork.  That means no smooth transition to high-paying, civilian nuclear power, likely no shipyard work.
 
2014-02-05 04:11:51 PM
Hey Lt. Col. I want fries with that.
 
2014-02-05 04:18:25 PM
He had two beers at lunch, that would make anyone sleepy.
 
2014-02-05 04:18:48 PM
This is the third one in a couple of weeks, added to the National Guard recruiting scandal.

Wtf is going out there?
 
2014-02-05 04:19:22 PM
CSB:
I had a high school friend wash out of that program.  He ended up as a fire control specialist on a cruiser.
 
2014-02-05 04:19:30 PM
Nuclear reactors these days practically run themselves. I don't know what a soldier would do that one of those little drinking-bird toys couldn't.
 
2014-02-05 04:22:14 PM
I still have my pencil case from air force training over 20 years ago and I can still make out some of the formula on it...

/getting a kick
 
2014-02-05 04:22:21 PM
You have to be some kind of special to need to cheat on one of those tests.
 
2014-02-05 04:24:28 PM

BigNumber12: Nuclear reactors these days practically run themselves. I don't know what a soldier would do that one of those little drinking-bird toys couldn't.


lh4.ggpht.com
 
2014-02-05 04:26:01 PM
MFAWG


This is the third one in a couple of weeks, added to the National Guard recruiting scandal.

Wtf is going out there?

www.upl.co
 
2014-02-05 04:27:24 PM
img.fark.net

approves
 
2014-02-05 04:27:26 PM

BigNumber12: Nuclear reactors these days practically run themselves. I don't know what a soldier would do that one of those little drinking-bird toys couldn't.


Well, with these defense budget cuts, we can't afford to have drinking birdies running the reactors.

Unless they're made in states represented by members of congress who create the defense budget. In which case we'll have $2 million worth of drinking birdies collecting dust in storage even though the Navy doesn't need any more.
 
2014-02-05 04:27:45 PM
I went through the program back in the early 90s. Prototype MM and ELT training in Ballston Spa, NY. All I remember from that time was a lot of drinking, and the landlady whom I rented a room from was hot for me. I guess I have nothing of substance to add to this thread.

Satanic_Hamster: CSB:
I had a high school friend wash out of that program.  He ended up as a fire control specialist on a cruiser.


They say it is maybe the second toughest bit of training to get through. Maybe third. Behind crypto and SEAL training.
 
2014-02-05 04:29:02 PM

MFAWG: This is the third one in a couple of weeks, added to the National Guard recruiting scandal.

Wtf is going out there?


Intense scrutiny where there usually isn't any.

Most human institutions have problems that go unnoticed because no one cares to look for them. If I really cared to, I could walk out of my office today with $30K in equipment we have just lying around. You could blow it up into a news story about graft and corruption and loose standards at my workplace, and an official inquisition would come through and find dozens of similar work areas with hundreds of thousands of dollars of equipment that's not particularly well secured and lax oversight.

In the case of the cheating scandals in the military, keep in mind there are about 2.4 million people in active service or the reserve. There is bound to be plenty of bad behavior if you look hard enough.
 
2014-02-05 04:29:40 PM

OnlyM3: MFAWG


This is the third one in a couple of weeks, added to the National Guard recruiting scandal.

Wtf is going out there?


To be honest, he didn't start either war and he's wrapped one up.

Then you add in that the NG recruiting thing goes back to 2004 and 5, when young GOPPers should gave been busting down the doors to do some of the Hard Work in the War on Terra.

So try again.
 
2014-02-05 04:31:21 PM

Weatherkiss: In which case we'll have $2 million worth of drinking birdies collecting dust in storage even though the Navy doesn't need any more.


Yeah yeah, you trot out the snark, but if you actually run the numbers, you'll see that it's far more fiscally-responsible to ship the drinking-birds directly to the Arizona Boneyard than it is to try to cancel and scrap the entire Drinking-Bird Procurement Program
 
2014-02-05 04:35:13 PM

powhound: They say it is maybe the second toughest bit of training to get through. Maybe third. Behind crypto and SEAL training.


Yep.  Bill was a smart guy but I think the stress got to him.  He really enjoyed the hell out of being on fire control, though.  I imagine the prospect of being in charge/involved in firing missiles that would blow things up helped keep his attention a bit more than working as a mechanic/maintenance.
 
2014-02-05 04:35:29 PM
Congratulations Fark for finally getting around to this story.
 
2014-02-05 04:40:36 PM

Fubini: Most human institutions have problems that go unnoticed because no one cares to look for them... There is bound to be plenty of bad behavior if you look hard enough.


This bears repeating.  The central problem to all human institutions is the presence of humans.
 
2014-02-05 04:40:41 PM
Hey, nuclear stuff is really hard.

/Nuclear engineering degree
 
2014-02-05 04:46:05 PM
Where are the noockleer wessels?
 
2014-02-05 04:50:00 PM

Satanic_Hamster: powhound: They say it is maybe the second toughest bit of training to get through. Maybe third. Behind crypto and SEAL training.

Yep.  Bill was a smart guy but I think the stress got to him.  He really enjoyed the hell out of being on fire control, though.  I imagine the prospect of being in charge/involved in firing missiles that would blow things up helped keep his attention a bit more than working as a mechanic/maintenance.


I can imagine that running fire control would be more fun than doing radiation surveys and testing water chemistry. Prototype wasn't all that stressful but Nuke Power School was hell. Forty hours of school each week, and typically another 20-40 hours in after-school study. Pretty much pushes you to the edge of sanity.
 
2014-02-05 04:53:27 PM
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2014-02-05 05:04:19 PM
Well, duh! It's obvious the US military is underfunded! They need to get to like 3X military spending vs. the rest of the world! Remember all the starving employees and contractors for Lockheed Martin!!!! They need your help!!

And we need more carriers!!! Only 9 fleet carriers??? Are they joking????
 
2014-02-05 05:07:52 PM

BigNumber12: Nuclear reactors these days practically run themselves. I don't know what a soldier would do that one of those little drinking-bird toys couldn't.


Yeah. The moment anything resembling a malfunction occurs, they automatically shut down.
 
2014-02-05 05:08:17 PM
Back in 2009 they must have sacked half of the instructors at the Balston Spa Prototype for general incompetence. Glad I got dumped from the program before then and got forced to re-rate and go surface. If fleet life for Nukes is anything like having to work at the MARF Plant there, fark that shiat. May Rickover continue to rot in his grave. Life on a Cruiser was bad enough being a Weapons Department FC./nukewaste
 
2014-02-05 05:10:37 PM

powhound: Satanic_Hamster: powhound: They say it is maybe the second toughest bit of training to get through. Maybe third. Behind crypto and SEAL training.

Yep.  Bill was a smart guy but I think the stress got to him.  He really enjoyed the hell out of being on fire control, though.  I imagine the prospect of being in charge/involved in firing missiles that would blow things up helped keep his attention a bit more than working as a mechanic/maintenance.

I can imagine that running fire control would be more fun than doing radiation surveys and testing water chemistry. Prototype wasn't all that stressful but Nuke Power School was hell. Forty hours of school each week, and typically another 20-40 hours in after-school study. Pretty much pushes you to the edge of sanity.


My first thought was something along the likes of "well, if they expect to cram the equivalent of a four-year degree into six months, they shouldn't be too terribly surprised if people resort to drastic measures to keep above water."
 
2014-02-05 05:10:52 PM
My son was an electrician on a Trident.  He thought training standards were quite lax.
 
2014-02-05 05:17:27 PM

Gordon Bennett: I am a fish. [...]


Hey, that's only 189 times, not 400.  Keep going.
 
2014-02-05 05:25:39 PM

Pointy Tail of Satan: Well, duh! It's obvious the US military is underfunded! They need to get to like 3X military spending vs. the rest of the world! Remember all the starving employees and contractors for Lockheed Martin!!!! They need your help!!

And we need more carriers!!! Only 9 fleet carriers??? Are they joking????


They just sold the first SuperCarrier for a penny.
 
2014-02-05 05:27:13 PM

lousyskater: Back in 2009 they must have sacked half of the instructors at the Balston Spa Prototype for general incompetence. Glad I got dumped from the program before then and got forced to re-rate and go surface. If fleet life for Nukes is anything like having to work at the MARF Plant there, fark that shiat. May Rickover continue to rot in his grave. Life on a Cruiser was bad enough being a Weapons Department FC./nukewaste


In my opinion, working at MARF was worse than working on the sub for 4 years. At least working hours were a little shorter for me, and we were always going places.


Robo Beat: My first thought was something along the likes of "well, if they expect to cram the equivalent of a four-year degree into six months, they shouldn't be too terribly surprised if people resort to drastic measures to keep above water."


Not only that, but the people writing and grading the questions always seemed to be trying to outdo each other with difficulty, rather than taking an interest in the quality of the question and its relevance.
 
2014-02-05 05:34:22 PM
After reviewing the exam, I can see why they cheated.

Instructions: Read each question carefully. Answer all questions. Time limit 4 hours. Begin immediately. Work in numerical order. Equipment remaining from question #1 may prove useful in questions #3 and #6.


1. Medicine.  You have been provided with a razor blade, a piece of gauze, and a bottle of scotch. Remove your appendix. Do not suture until your work has been inspected. You have 15 minutes.

2. History.  Describe the history of the papacy from its origins to the present day. Concentrate especially but not exclusively on its social, political, economic, religious, and philosophical impact on Europe, Asia, America, and Africa. Be brief, concise, and specific.

3. Public Speaking.  Two thousand drug-crazed aborigines are storming the classroom. Calm them. You may use any ancient language except Latin and Greek.

4. Biology.  Create life. Estimate the difference in subsequent human culture if this form of life had been created 500 million years earlier. Pay special attention to its probable effect on the English Parliamentary System.

5. Music.  Write a piano concerto. Orchestrate and perform it with flute and drum. You will find a piano under your seat.

6. Engineering.  The disassembled parts of a high power rifle have been placed in a box on your desk. You will also find an instruction manual printed in Swahili. In 10 minutes a hungry Bengal tiger will be admitted to the room. Take whatever action you feel is appropriate. Be prepared to justify your decision.

7. Sociology.  What sociological problems might accompany the end of the world? Construct and experiment to test your theory.

8. Management Science.  Define management. Define science. How do they relate? Create a generalized algorithm to optimize all managerial decisions. Assuming a Cray X-MP supercomputer supporting 50 terminals, each terminal to activate your algorithm, design the communications interface and all necessary control problems.

9. Psychology.  Based on your knowledge of their works, evaluate the emotional stability, degree of adjustment, and repressed frustration of each: Alexander of Aphrodisias, Ramses II, Gregory of Nicea, and Hammurabi. Support your evaluation with quotations from each man's work. It is not necessary to translate.

10. Economics.Develop a realistic plan for refinancing the national debt. Trace the possible effects of your plan on these areas: Cubism, The Donatist Controversy, and the wave theory of light.

11. Epistemology.  Take a position for or against truth. Prove the validity of your position.

12. Classical Physics.  Explain the nature of matter. Include in your answer an evaluation of the impact of the development of mathematics on science.

13. Modern Physics.  Produce element 119. Determine its half-life.

14. Energy Resources.  Construct a working fusion reactor.

15. Philosophy.  Sketch the development of human thought. Estimate its significance. Compare this with the development of any other kind of thought.

16. General Knowledge.Describe in detail, briefly.

17. Extra Credit.Define the universe. Give three examples.
 
2014-02-05 05:38:51 PM

Descartes: After reviewing the exam, I can see why they cheated.


That test was classified "NO FORN", you should not have removed it from the building much less shared it with the rest of the internet. I am willing to bet that your supperior officer will be extremely "disappointed" with you.
 
2014-02-05 05:43:50 PM

Descartes: After reviewing the exam, I can see why they cheated.

Instructions: Read each question carefully. Answer all questions. Time limit 4 hours. Begin immediately. Work in numerical order. Equipment remaining from question #1 may prove useful in questions #3 and #6.


1. Medicine.  You have been provided with a razor blade, a piece of gauze, and a bottle of scotch. Remove your appendix. Do not suture until your work has been inspected. You have 15 minutes.

2. History.  Describe the history of the papacy from its origins to the present day. Concentrate especially but not exclusively on its social, political, economic, religious, and philosophical impact on Europe, Asia, America, and Africa. Be brief, concise, and specific.

3. Public Speaking.  Two thousand drug-crazed aborigines are storming the classroom. Calm them. You may use any ancient language except Latin and Greek.

4. Biology.  Create life. Estimate the difference in subsequent human culture if this form of life had been created 500 million years earlier. Pay special attention to its probable effect on the English Parliamentary System.

5. Music.  Write a piano concerto. Orchestrate and perform it with flute and drum. You will find a piano under your seat.

6. Engineering.  The disassembled parts of a high power rifle have been placed in a box on your desk. You will also find an instruction manual printed in Swahili. In 10 minutes a hungry Bengal tiger will be admitted to the room. Take whatever action you feel is appropriate. Be prepared to justify your decision.

7. Sociology.  What sociological problems might accompany the end of the world? Construct and experiment to test your theory.

8. Management Science.  Define management. Define science. How do they relate? Create a generalized algorithm to optimize all managerial decisions. Assuming a Cray X-MP supercomputer supporting 50 terminals, each terminal to activate your algorithm, design the communications interface and all necessary control problems.

9. ...


I think that test is legitimately easier. At least you have 4 hours for that one, we only had 2 hours.
 
2014-02-05 06:03:55 PM
My ex went through that program.

Rampant cheating would explain how someone who otherwise failed so spectacularly at life managed to pass.

Only to be booted a couple years later for gross mental and emotional problems....
 
2014-02-05 06:15:11 PM
i527.photobucket.com
 
2014-02-05 06:19:59 PM
Meanwhile down the page...

amradaronline.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-02-05 06:20:11 PM
CSB: I originally enlisted in the Navy for a nuclear rating. They were apparently short on outstanding ASVAB scores and the related rigramole that year. Ditched their MEP and enlisted in the Marines instead, as a farking rifleman, because I was seventeen and a moron.

I don't really regret it or anything, because hoorah, but nuclear techs make a lot more money than guys with guns in the real world.
 
2014-02-05 06:22:07 PM

Freudian_slipknot: My ex went through that program.

Rampant cheating would explain how someone who otherwise failed so spectacularly at life managed to pass.

Only to be booted a couple years later for gross mental and emotional problems....


You would not believe how common it is to get truely weird people in the nuke program. One guy i remember truely believe he was a wizard. He always surrounded his room with "dragon dust", believed his inner self was a half-dragon, half-flame spirit, and actively dressed as a "goth vampire" when he went out.  He also would bring his laptop to a nearby strip club and use their wifi to play WOW there. One of the strippers there took notice, "dated" him for a couple years, and took him for everything he was worth (~$50,000).

One time, i remember him running out into the street in San Diego and start mumbling to himself. After a bit of this, he staggered away and claimed that he just saved San Diego from a huge disaster that the "spirits" were warning him was about to happen. He casted a spell of protection that kept it safe.

He ended up getting kicked out when it came to light that he had sexual contact with his 13 year old sister-in-law.
 
2014-02-05 06:31:47 PM
Eskaminagaga: You would not believe how common it is to get truely weird people in the nuke program.

"Lobotomy? Isn't that for loonies?"

lh4.googleusercontent.com

"Not at all. Friend of mine had one. Designer of the neutron bomb. You ever hear of the neutron bomb? Destroys people - leaves buildings standing. Fits in a suitcase. It's so small, no one knows it's there until - BLAMMO. Eyes melt, skin explodes, everybody dead. So immoral, working on the thing can drive you mad. That's what happened to this friend of mine. So he had a lobotomy. Now he's well again."
 
2014-02-05 06:35:10 PM
It is a new clear day to go fishing.
 
2014-02-05 07:10:30 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2014-02-05 07:51:15 PM
There is one critical thing you always need to remember...

You Can NEVER Put Too Much Water in A Nuclear Reactor!!

//That is all
 
2014-02-05 08:16:03 PM

EffervescingElephant: There is one critical thing you always need to remember...

You Can NEVER Put Too Much Water in A Nuclear Reactor!!

//That is all


I'm pretty sure the folks at TEPCO would disagree with you.
 
2014-02-05 08:32:11 PM

MFAWG: This is the third one in a couple of weeks, added to the National Guard recruiting scandal.

Wtf is going out there?


The Brass, who have whittled away most of their useful operational experience (if any) by sitting in their ivory towers, have been spoon-fed PowerPoint presentations and Excel spreadsheets depicting impossibly oversimplified metrics, based upon faulty assumptions and zero-defect modalities, which were created by midgrade yes-men, who have been crafting the lies and half-truths for so long (in the interest, originally, of their own preservation), that even they have started to believe them.  So these pie-in-the-sky programs are cooked up at HQ and fed to the operational forces for implementation.  And the operational forces must choose whether to fail or cheat.  Basically.
 
2014-02-05 08:45:37 PM

navyjeff: lousyskater: Back in 2009 they must have sacked half of the instructors at the Balston Spa Prototype for general incompetence. Glad I got dumped from the program before then and got forced to re-rate and go surface. If fleet life for Nukes is anything like having to work at the MARF Plant there, fark that shiat. May Rickover continue to rot in his grave. Life on a Cruiser was bad enough being a Weapons Department FC./nukewaste

In my opinion, working at MARF was worse than working on the sub for 4 years. At least working hours were a little shorter for me, and we were always going places.


Robo Beat: My first thought was something along the likes of "well, if they expect to cram the equivalent of a four-year degree into six months, they shouldn't be too terribly surprised if people resort to drastic measures to keep above water."

Not only that, but the people writing and grading the questions always seemed to be trying to outdo each other with difficulty, rather than taking an interest in the quality of the question and its relevance.

Nothing was ever quite as depressing as coming around the corner in the woods and having the giant DIG ball come into sight.

/ miss drinking at The Parting Glass though...
 
2014-02-05 09:00:48 PM
Me, to my ex-Nuke husband: Hey! Some sailors got cheating on an exam, that you'd really not like them to cheat on! 3 guesses, first 2 don't count!
Husband: Uh huh.
Me: At a South Carolina facility!
Husband: Oh christ...
Me: Awww yeah... That's what I was looking for.

I live to hear my husband make that "Oh christ" groan. :)
 
2014-02-05 09:03:36 PM

EffervescingElephant: There is one critical thing you always need to remember...

You Can NEVER Put Too Much Water in A Nuclear Reactor!!

//That is all


Water is a neutron moderator... so there exist conditions where adding water could speed up a nuclear reaction, which could be bad, depending on the state of the reactor and what you're trying to accomplish.
 
2014-02-05 09:33:23 PM
"Hmm, I wonder what this button does"

*click*

Aaa Oooo Gah  Aaa Oooo Gah  Aaa Oooo Gah

(robot voice over intercom) "Warning.  Warning.  Red Alert.  Red Alert.  Core Meltdown Imminent.  This is not a drill.  Repeat.  This is not a drill.  Man emergency stations at once."

"Oops."

/walks away, whistling nonchalantly.
 
2014-02-06 12:30:27 AM
I was an electronics tech/Reactor operator on subs.  Went through training starting in 1986.

A standard Navy ET test would be along the lines of:  "Here is a diagram of a Colpitts Oscillator.  The function of capacitor C1 is ... A)...  B)..  C).. or D)."

The nuke version was was "Draw a Colpitts oscillator, label all components, describe the function of each component, and run through one cycle of operation."

The ET class started with 24, and finished 26 months later with 18.  Nuclear Power School started with 360, finished with 260 or so.  Prototype we lost another 25% or so. Looking back on it, I frequently wish I'd followed the guy who said heck with it, told them he quit, got busted in rank and became a Photographer's Mate instead.  At that point, he actually started to enjoy his time in the Navy. I, on the other hand, was stuck spending over 80 hours a week on the submarine while it was in port.  He got to follow the brass around to take pictures.
 
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