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(Cracked)   What it's really like to get a record deal with a major label. Written by that one guy who did that one song   (cracked.com) divider line 78
    More: Interesting, things, record labels, Suffolk University, record deal, dance music, pop music, bus pass, rock stars  
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6111 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 05 Feb 2014 at 10:02 AM (41 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-02-05 09:21:57 AM  
Wait.  Wait.  Wait.  Wait.  Wait.  Wait.  Wait.  Wait.  Wait.  Wait.

...you're telling me there's a white rapper, from frickin' MAINE, and he actually charted?  Who the fark wanted this???
 
2014-02-05 09:45:22 AM  
Two albums into my career as a rapper...

farm4.staticflickr.com
 
2014-02-05 09:59:22 AM  

FriarReb98: Wait.  Wait.  Wait.  Wait.  Wait.  Wait.  Wait.  Wait.  Wait.  Wait.

...you're telling me there's a white rapper, from frickin' MAINE, and he actually charted?  Who the fark wanted this???


Gnomesain?
 
2014-02-05 10:05:45 AM  
""bottles in the club, biatches on my junk, Cadillacs literally infesting my house"

I would buy a song with that hook on iTunes.
 

bearded clamorer: Two albums into my career as a rapper...


The article doesn't make you listen to anything.  It is a pretty solid read.
 
2014-02-05 10:18:05 AM  
Subby here. Sorry about the typo in the headline. I is stupid.
 
2014-02-05 10:19:11 AM  
Don't mean nuthin'

/no victim, no crime
 
2014-02-05 10:20:06 AM  
Yeah, I love paying maint. fees on an account just to cash a .01 check.
 
2014-02-05 10:24:31 AM  
It's a business that employs brilliant people in marketing, psychology, mass media, etc to keep making money. At all costs. It's not about the talent. If that were the case, there's thousands of talented people on Youtube who'll never see a cent. Because they're not marketable. Business is a war they say. And it's a war on the consumer who keep(s) shifting and growing up and out of the present days tastes. So, they keep shifting right along with it. Instead of the consumer driving the market though, I'm sure there's billions poured to making the consumer..well....consume the crap that studios produce (you can same the same about the movie industry couldn't you). It's not a nice age we live in. They've learned the techniques of command and control over the years from watching the gov't manipulate the population and I'm sure they feed off of each other, propping up the other with new ideas on how to force people who really aren't that interested in the product. To keep buying. It's Orwellian, subtle and covert. We live in an age of loss of free will that's masked as the ability to choose. That's not possible when we're so manipulated to believe.
 
2014-02-05 10:28:58 AM  
One of the best things you can read along these lines is the chapter "Business 101" from David Lee Roth's autobiography Crazy from the Heat. He points out the major pitfalls that artists fall into, and gives sound advice on what to watch out for.

Vince Neil tells a pretty good story about when Motley Crue was just getting big; apparently, Dave took them under his wing and tried to wise them up to how they were going to get screwed, but they were all too farked up to pay attention. Subsequently, they got totally screwed on their deal.
 
2014-02-05 10:29:03 AM  
DIY, muthafarkas. Let the big labels go the way of the Titanic. They're just payola machines for the next line of whores who don't mind turning their "art" into commercials for soft drinks.
 
2014-02-05 10:31:25 AM  
I'm confused as to what labels actually offer artists these days. Marketing I guess? Distribution if you're actually going to put out a CD, but I would imagine you can quite easily go all digital these days.
 
2014-02-05 10:32:44 AM  
Welcome my son, welcome to the machine.
What did you dream? It's alright we told you what to dream.
 
2014-02-05 10:33:09 AM  
Very insightful article. Never heard of the guy but nothing he said in there surprises me.
 
2014-02-05 10:33:52 AM  

Anonymous Bosch: Welcome my son, welcome to the machine.
What did you dream? It's alright we told you what to dream.


The band is just fantastic, that is really what I think.
 
2014-02-05 10:39:55 AM  
. iTunes took a small chunk, and then the cost of making that album (production, printing, studio time) was probably $6,000. So I made a profit of $70,000


Hope you socked away at least 35 of it to pay your taxes, Sonny Jim. You're gonna find it real quick why literally every musician out there  incorporates as a record label if they don't sign...
 
2014-02-05 10:43:03 AM  

miscreant: I'm confused as to what labels actually offer artists these days. Marketing I guess? Distribution if you're actually going to put out a CD, but I would imagine you can quite easily go all digital these days.


Marketing, distribution, promotion, etc. which can mean a ton of sales.  They are investing in a product and have certain expectations, so if you don't meet those expectations, they're going to move on.
 
2014-02-05 10:43:35 AM  

miscreant: I'm confused as to what labels actually offer artists these days. Marketing I guess? Distribution if you're actually going to put out a CD, but I would imagine you can quite easily go all digital these days.


same as always.

money.  did you READ the article?
 
2014-02-05 10:46:21 AM  

miscreant: I'm confused as to what labels actually offer artists these days. Marketing I guess? Distribution if you're actually going to put out a CD, but I would imagine you can quite easily go all digital these days.


Not being broke, or a chance to just be a musician and not a wage slave that is also pursuing music as a career.  Because I don't care how many titties get flashed your way, punching in for work at 9am after unloading the van after a gig at 3:30am SUCKS.
 
2014-02-05 10:50:16 AM  

FriarReb98: Wait.  Wait.  Wait.  Wait.  Wait.  Wait.  Wait.  Wait.  Wait.  Wait.

...you're telling me there's a white rapper, from frickin' MAINE, and he actually charted?  Who the fark wanted this???


His hit single is charming and funny.  "Christmas Song" is surprisingly emotional. "Pop Song" is better than lots of stuff on the radio.

/old white guy from Maine
 
2014-02-05 10:50:29 AM  

factoryconnection: miscreant: I'm confused as to what labels actually offer artists these days. Marketing I guess? Distribution if you're actually going to put out a CD, but I would imagine you can quite easily go all digital these days.

Not being broke, or a chance to just be a musician and not a wage slave that is also pursuing music as a career.  Because I don't care how many titties get flashed your way, punching in for work at 9am after unloading the van after a gig at 3:30am SUCKS.


My favorite author (he writes action packed vampire novels, very good) has had like 4 or 5 books published.

Saddens me that he still has to work his soul sucking day job.
 
2014-02-05 10:54:43 AM  

frepnog: Saddens me that he still has to work his soul sucking day job.


Flip side: suffering begets creativity.  As a songwriter, nothing has crushed my ability to write like (a) finishing up sea duty on a submarine and transferring to a cherry shore job and (b) being happily married to a wonderful woman.

I don't want anyone to take my job and/or shove it, and not only is she not-big legged, but my woman does have a soul!
 
2014-02-05 11:03:54 AM  

factoryconnection: ""bottles in the club, biatches on my junk, Cadillacs literally infesting my house"

I would buy a song with that hook on iTunes.
 bearded clamorer: Two albums into my career as a rapper...

The article doesn't make you listen to anything.  It is a pretty solid read.


I also enjoyed that line
 
2014-02-05 11:05:50 AM  

factoryconnection: miscreant: I'm confused as to what labels actually offer artists these days. Marketing I guess? Distribution if you're actually going to put out a CD, but I would imagine you can quite easily go all digital these days.

Not being broke, or a chance to just be a musician and not a wage slave that is also pursuing music as a career.  Because I don't care how many titties get flashed your way, punching in for work at 9am after unloading the van after a gig at 3:30am SUCKS.


That article, very good, reading that shiat is like brain food! Even on Crack, it's quite the catch, gives some good insight to that corporate crap, Read that shiat, read it good, read it like it you know you should.
 
2014-02-05 11:12:57 AM  

frepnog: miscreant: I'm confused as to what labels actually offer artists these days. Marketing I guess? Distribution if you're actually going to put out a CD, but I would imagine you can quite easily go all digital these days.

same as always.

money.  did you READ the article?


On Fark? Why would I do that?
 
2014-02-05 11:15:26 AM  

willfullyobscure: . iTunes took a small chunk, and then the cost of making that album (production, printing, studio time) was probably $6,000. So I made a profit of $70,000


Hope you socked away at least 35 of it to pay your taxes, Sonny Jim. You're gonna find it real quick why literally every musician out there  incorporates as a record label if they don't sign...


https://icrs.informe.org/nei-sos-icrs/ ICRS?CorpSumm=20102047DC
 
2014-02-05 11:26:28 AM  

frepnog: factoryconnection: miscreant: I'm confused as to what labels actually offer artists these days. Marketing I guess? Distribution if you're actually going to put out a CD, but I would imagine you can quite easily go all digital these days.

Not being broke, or a chance to just be a musician and not a wage slave that is also pursuing music as a career.  Because I don't care how many titties get flashed your way, punching in for work at 9am after unloading the van after a gig at 3:30am SUCKS.

My favorite author (he writes action packed vampire novels, very good) has had like 4 or 5 books published.

Saddens me that he still has to work his soul sucking day job.


You know, giving his name might help him quitting it someday.
 
2014-02-05 11:27:51 AM  

physt: FriarReb98: Wait.  Wait.  Wait.  Wait.  Wait.  Wait.  Wait.  Wait.  Wait.  Wait.

...you're telling me there's a white rapper, from frickin' MAINE, and he actually charted?  Who the fark wanted this???

His hit single is charming and funny.  "Christmas Song" is surprisingly emotional. "Pop Song" is better than lots of stuff on the radio.

/old white guy from Maine


How much snow you got? About 3" so far 20 miles south of Brewer.
 
2014-02-05 11:31:27 AM  

Dancis_Frake: You know, giving his name might help him quitting it someday.


Jeremy L. Lewis.

wrote this series

www.sffaudio.com

/didn't want to seem like a shill
 
2014-02-05 11:31:34 AM  
Obligatory
Link
 
2014-02-05 11:32:41 AM  
coming down pretty good here in auburn...ayuh
 
2014-02-05 11:33:16 AM  

John Buck 41: physt: FriarReb98: Wait.  Wait.  Wait.  Wait.  Wait.  Wait.  Wait.  Wait.  Wait.  Wait.

...you're telling me there's a white rapper, from frickin' MAINE, and he actually charted?  Who the fark wanted this???

His hit single is charming and funny.  "Christmas Song" is surprisingly emotional. "Pop Song" is better than lots of stuff on the radio.

/old white guy from Maine

How much snow you got? About 3" so far 20 miles south of Brewer.


I live in Gorham and work in Falmouth.  Looks like about 5" so far and it's not letting up.  Roads were a little rough even in a 4 wheel drive.  Stay home if you can.
 
2014-02-05 11:33:57 AM  

Glitchwerks: miscreant: I'm confused as to what labels actually offer artists these days. Marketing I guess? Distribution if you're actually going to put out a CD, but I would imagine you can quite easily go all digital these days.

Marketing, distribution, promotion, etc. which can mean a ton of sales.


Not always. Former American Idol contestant Carly Smithson, a/k/a Carly Hennessy, had MCA Records pour over two million dollars into her debut album, which tanked spectacularly.
 
2014-02-05 11:35:42 AM  

frepnog: Jeremy L. Lewis


Jeremy F. Lewis (according to the cover). Ok, thanks, I'll give it a look/try

/I'm way behind in terms of reading, however (Butcher, Abercrombie, Correia...)
 
2014-02-05 11:36:58 AM  
Not going to lie, the article was a bit of a surprise.  I was expecting a rehash of Albini's essay in list form.
 
2014-02-05 11:39:38 AM  

Dancis_Frake: frepnog: Jeremy L. Lewis

Jeremy F. Lewis (according to the cover). Ok, thanks, I'll give it a look/try

/I'm way behind in terms of reading, however (Butcher, Abercrombie, Correia...)


whoops, typo.

the series really is good.  he has a very cinematic writing style, you could film the books scene by scene.
 
2014-02-05 11:44:28 AM  
Interesting read.

I listen to the station that originally started playing him and wondered what happened with his record deal. He seems to have a very level headed attitude toward things, and seems happy that he makes a living making music.

Good for him.
 
2014-02-05 11:46:53 AM  
I listened to his tracks, and a lot of it was more of the same.  Catchy but sounds like a guy who spent too much time listening to Sublime and the Offspring.  I skipped to his newer stuff and he is then emulating Dirt Nasty and Andre Legacy.

If you want white guy hip hop, who actually change it up, do things differently, try Wax or George Watsky.
 
2014-02-05 11:56:13 AM  

BarryTheMasterOfSandwich: Subby here. Sorry about the typo in the headline. I is stupid.


"smart"ed your comment for you
 
2014-02-05 11:57:38 AM  

physt: John Buck 41: physt: FriarReb98: Wait.  Wait.  Wait.  Wait.  Wait.  Wait.  Wait.  Wait.  Wait.  Wait.

...you're telling me there's a white rapper, from frickin' MAINE, and he actually charted?  Who the fark wanted this???

His hit single is charming and funny.  "Christmas Song" is surprisingly emotional. "Pop Song" is better than lots of stuff on the radio.

/old white guy from Maine

How much snow you got? About 3" so far 20 miles south of Brewer.

I live in Gorham and work in Falmouth.  Looks like about 5" so far and it's not letting up.  Roads were a little rough even in a 4 wheel drive.  Stay home if you can.


Already called in. I normally work 11a to 7p and know that as crappy as the roads are now they'll be worse tonite. Plus I had a brutal month in January, I'm all caught up, and my know-nothing but well paid boss quit Monday, so I said 'Fark it'.
 
2014-02-05 12:03:52 PM  
Z Guyeezz!
 
2014-02-05 12:11:02 PM  
I listened to the song, honestly, it made me laugh.
 
2014-02-05 12:14:51 PM  
Great read. This is what the RIAA is deathly afraid of. Viral vids, iTunes, Google Play etc etc.
 
2014-02-05 12:15:06 PM  

bearded clamorer: Two albums into my career as a rapper...


Actually pretty good expose on how the record industry churns out artists and kills creativity.

Would read a more in depth.
 
2014-02-05 12:18:07 PM  

factoryconnection: miscreant: I'm confused as to what labels actually offer artists these days. Marketing I guess? Distribution if you're actually going to put out a CD, but I would imagine you can quite easily go all digital these days.

Not being broke, or a chance to just be a musician and not a wage slave that is also pursuing music as a career.  Because I don't care how many titties get flashed your way, punching in for work at 9am after unloading the van after a gig at 3:30am SUCKS.


This! Did the cover band, and original band stint for a good number of years.

/about 9 inches of snow here in Dover, NH
 
2014-02-05 12:18:54 PM  

bearded clamorer: Two albums into my career as a rapper...

[farm4.staticflickr.com image 250x272]


You did yourself a disservice in your rush to belittle the author. The story applies to all artists being sucked into the machine.
 
2014-02-05 12:21:00 PM  

bearded clamorer: Two albums into my career as a rapper...

[farm4.staticflickr.com image 250x272]


"What's it's..."

[stop reading there.jpg]

What is it is?  Is subby a rapper?
 
2014-02-05 12:22:02 PM  

booger42: Don't mean nuthin'

/no victim, no crime


Nicely put ;-)
 
2014-02-05 12:22:08 PM  

mcmnky: bearded clamorer: Two albums into my career as a rapper...

[farm4.staticflickr.com image 250x272]

"What's it's..."

[stop reading there.jpg]

What is it is?  Is subby a rapper?



Look, I've apologized for's that typos.
 
2014-02-05 12:31:14 PM  

miscreant: Distribution if you're actually going to put out a CD, but I would imagine you can quite easily go all digital these days.


CDs are digital.
 
2014-02-05 12:35:37 PM  
I DNRTFA, but I'd rather not make it big than be a 1 hit wonder.  If you are a 1 hit wonder you have all the negative aspects of being famous (paparazzi, tabloids, stalkers, people trying to sue you because they "know" you have money) without the sort of steady bunches of money for many years that you'd have if you was relevent for 50 years like the Stones or something
 
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