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(Daily Mail)   One in five women say they were "deeply disappointed" by their husband's proposal, with most complaining the diamond ring was too small, the proposal wasn't romantic enough and it wasn't done on bended knee before an audience of all her friends   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 235
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6723 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Feb 2014 at 8:21 AM (29 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-02-05 08:20:26 AM
What a timely and useful article that wasn't at all intended to generate a flame war. I'm sure there will be lots of very insightful and interesting comments in here reflecting on the possible questionable values being demonstrated by this completely real segment of our society about whom we should all have very strong opinions.
 
2014-02-05 08:23:14 AM

Pocket Ninja: What a timely and useful article that wasn't at all intended to generate a flame war. I'm sure there will be lots of very insightful and interesting comments in here reflecting on the possible questionable values being demonstrated by this completely real segment of our society about whom we should all have very strong opinions.


Do you ever sleep or are you a fixture just sort of built into the website
 
2014-02-05 08:23:27 AM
1 in 5 men are deeply disappointed with their marriage, so it all evens out.
 
2014-02-05 08:23:58 AM
Women are so shallow.  If they were swimming pools, you'd never get your feet wet.
 
2014-02-05 08:24:03 AM
cache.reelz.com
 
2014-02-05 08:24:51 AM
1 in 5 is actually not that bad.
 
2014-02-05 08:24:53 AM
I'm 0/2 for romantic proposals, but I cant' say I was deeply disappointed by either of them.

Really, considering how not romantic most men are, 1 in 5 women being "deeply disappointed" by their man's lack of effort isn't bad.
 
2014-02-05 08:24:54 AM
i50.tinypic.com
 
2014-02-05 08:26:58 AM

mistrmind: Women are so shallow.  If they were swimming pools, you'd never get your feet wet.


Hire people with hooks.
 
2014-02-05 08:27:10 AM
Proposing to a woman in front of an audience has always seemed like kind of an asshole move to me.  It puts her on the spot and makes her too embarrassed to say no.
 
2014-02-05 08:27:18 AM
Hopefully one in 5 guys saved the receipt.
 
2014-02-05 08:27:55 AM

ThatDarkFellow: Pocket Ninja: What a timely and useful article that wasn't at all intended to generate a flame war. I'm sure there will be lots of very insightful and interesting comments in here reflecting on the possible questionable values being demonstrated by this completely real segment of our society about whom we should all have very strong opinions.

Do you ever sleep or are you a fixture just sort of built into the website


It's a shared account between 4 or 5 people who take shifts posting under the username. That's why the quality of the posts varies throughout the day.
 
2014-02-05 08:30:52 AM
This being Fark of course I didnt RTFA but in the interest of SCIENCE they should have cross questioned them as to the "happiness" of their marriage.

I would assume that having a good marriage and being happy would vastly outshine a mediocre proposal but you'd never know.  If there was a strong enough correlation between "happy with proposal" and "happy with marriage" maybe you could give your brand new fiance a likert scale questionaire a day or two after the proposal and find out if you are, in fact, doomed to an eventual divorce because your fiance is a vapid twat.
 
2014-02-05 08:31:19 AM

Pocket Ninja: What a timely and useful article that wasn't at all intended to generate a flame war. I'm sure there will be lots of very insightful and interesting comments in here reflecting on the possible questionable values being demonstrated by this completely real segment of our society about whom we should all have very strong opinions.


It's just an ad to sell diamonds.
 
2014-02-05 08:31:30 AM
I asked a guy out on a date a couple years ago. He said "yes" and looked happy and amused, but the possibility of rejection was nearly paralyzing. Knowing how hard THAT was, if a guy I had been dating for a gazillion whatevers decided to pass a note with "will you marry me? check 'yes' or 'no'" through one of his friends, I'd be impressed he had the stones to ask at all. When the roles are reversed, even once, you tend to appreciate the effort a whole lot more.
 
2014-02-05 08:31:53 AM

darkjezter: Proposing to a woman in front of an audience has always seemed like kind of an asshole move to me.  It puts her on the spot and makes her too embarrassed to say no.


I proposed two weeks ago. We were with 7 of our friends in public. I figured after living together for the last 3 years and considering we'd already chosen a wedding date, I was not too worried about her answer or coercion due to the presence of our friends. She never saw the ring beforehand either. She just told me she trusted my taste.
 
2014-02-05 08:32:00 AM
It is a classic no-win situation.  You can buy her a ring and have a wonderful surprise proposal, but the odds of her liking the ring or it fitting perfectly are not great.  Alternatively you can take her ring shopping, but that kills the surprise proposal.

The only winning move is not to play.
 
2014-02-05 08:32:12 AM

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: ThatDarkFellow: Pocket Ninja: What a timely and useful article that wasn't at all intended to generate a flame war. I'm sure there will be lots of very insightful and interesting comments in here reflecting on the possible questionable values being demonstrated by this completely real segment of our society about whom we should all have very strong opinions.

Do you ever sleep or are you a fixture just sort of built into the website

It's a shared account between 4 or 5 people who take shifts posting under the username. That's why the quality of the posts varies throughout the day.


That makes perfect sense but I thought that was frowned upon by the site.
 
2014-02-05 08:32:17 AM

Real Women Drink Akvavit: I asked a guy out on a date a couple years ago. He said "yes" and looked happy and amused, but the possibility of rejection was nearly paralyzing. Knowing how hard THAT was, if a guy I had been dating for a gazillion whatevers decided to pass a note with "will you marry me? check 'yes' or 'no'" through one of his friends, I'd be impressed he had the stones to ask at all. When the roles are reversed, even once, you tend to appreciate the effort a whole lot more.


You're OK in my book.
And I actually carry a book.
 
2014-02-05 08:32:18 AM

ThatDarkFellow: Do you ever sleep or are you a fixture just sort of built into the website


Fark's interface with Skynet (SkyFark? Farknet?) has evolved over the years. In the beginning, it was mostly poop jokes, memes, and "accidental" crude photos. It has now adapted to user response enough to deftly weave snarky commentary and hilarious narrative into the best of humor. Some day, it will be so advanced that you'll never stop looking for more posts; that's when the robots will take over.

So, enjoy it for now while it's harmless. Just don't mention Sarah Connor around it.
 
2014-02-05 08:32:46 AM

It's not that hard, guys.

Sunset, beach, have someone with camera ready. Bonus points: have it printed to a wallet that she'll cherish for many years.


www.piercedgeek.net

 
2014-02-05 08:32:55 AM
In other news, those 1 in 5 women are all needy biatches and will soon be divorced.
 
2014-02-05 08:33:02 AM

Ker_Thwap: It's just an ad to sell diamonds


shh
 
2014-02-05 08:33:14 AM

HighlanderRPI: [i50.tinypic.com image 350x233]


"Five in five men say they were 'deeply disappointed' by their post-proposal blowjob, with most complaining about the absence thereof."
 
2014-02-05 08:33:31 AM
If you're not happy, just say "no".  Is that so frigging hard?
 
2014-02-05 08:33:51 AM
My husband's proposal was lovely, although he took me to my favorite restaurant first and proposed by surprise after so I still wish I wasn't so full of Indian food at the time.  Also, we were in the process of moving so we then went home to an air mattress and an angry, stressed-out cat.  The ring is not the one I would have chosen (he did get the Tiffany solitaire diamond but I would have preferred a non-diamond and a flatter setting since I work with my hands).

Guess what?  If I could go back and do it again, I wouldn't change anything.  It was still one of the sweetest, most romantic gestures anyone has ever done for me and the ring is the one he picked himself to give me when he asked me to be his wife.  Even if I could choose to design a perfect one, I would never take this one off.

If the perfection of the proposal or the size of the ring is the most important thing to you, you either shouldn't be getting married or you shouldn't be marrying that person.
 
2014-02-05 08:35:08 AM

ThatDarkFellow: Do you ever sleep or are you a fixture just sort of built into the website


Excuse me. . . are you actually trying to find something out about a ninja?

As for me proposing to my wife, she was moved to tears. . . it took until about the third or fourth blow to the head before she was finally limp enough to drag back to my cave.  I did give her a shiny rock, though.
 
2014-02-05 08:36:11 AM
1 in 5 women are shallow whores

This is not news
 
2014-02-05 08:36:21 AM
We had been living together for about a year, and we decided together that maybe we should get married before embarking on a planned trip to Europe.  "Want to get married?  We can make it a honeymoon."  "Sure, why not?"  Thirty three years and two kids later we are extremely happy together.

I never understood the need for a dramatic proposal and elaborate wedding.  Ladies, your life is not a <insert famous Hollywood actress> movie, and in the end none of that is the least bit important.
 
2014-02-05 08:36:59 AM
There are only so many innings in a baseball game.
 
2014-02-05 08:37:04 AM
OMG... biatches should just be grateful ANYONE is proposing to them...  soooo picky... just blows my mind.

My husband proposed long distance over the phone, we had a very inexpensive wedding and it was a wonderful time.  Bridezillas piss me off...  It's about the person you're marrying, not about the damn proposal or the stupid wedding.. It's about spending the rest of your life (hopefully) with someone you REALLY REALLY want to be with.
 
2014-02-05 08:37:51 AM
Guys, no hymen, no diamond.
 
2014-02-05 08:39:37 AM
If he is that romantic he has already proposed to his boyfriend

/NTTIAWWT depending on which state you live in of course.
 
2014-02-05 08:39:57 AM
One in five Daily Fail readers think you get preggers from the buttsecks.
 
2014-02-05 08:40:07 AM
A new survey has revealed that 21 per cent of engaged, married or divorced women were left disappointed by their marriage proposal, but they didn't say anything to their other half and now wished they had.


Gee, if only I'd ridiculed him about his proposal, our relationship would be stronger, we'd both make more money, our teeth would be whiter, and his hair would be thicker.
 
2014-02-05 08:40:29 AM
I can't stand when a guy makes a public display out of the proposal, or when they do that generic bullshiat like a hot air balloon ride with "Will You Marry Me?" spelled out on the ground.  I proposed to my wife in our bedroom.  She was in the shower, and I went in her jewelry box and replaced this ring I had gotten her when we were dating as kids (It had both our birthstones, and she wore it every day) with the engagement ring.  I hung out in the bedroom while she came out and was getting ready, which almost gave away the game, since I never do that.  Anyhow, she got to the jewelry portion of her routine, and opened her jewelry box and grabbed the ring.  She had it halfway on her finger before it hit her.  She started crying, and I asked her to marry me.  I didn't get down on one knee, just held her hand and told her I loved her.  She has told me countless times since that she couldn't imagine a better proposal.  We've got our 7 year anniversary coming up in a few months, and one healthy baby boy.  Life is good.
 
2014-02-05 08:41:27 AM

martid4: Guys, no hymen, no diamond.


I thought 'blood diamonds' meant something different?
 
2014-02-05 08:43:41 AM
Would love to add snarky comment however I found myself in this exact situation a few years ago. Proposed in an intimate spot, but could tell later she wasn't happy. Confided in me hours later she didn't like the ring, and was disappointed because she wanted a big public spectacle, which I definitely wasn't into. She didn't biatch me out, but freely expressed her dismay. I had such a confused jumble of emotions I didn't really know how to react at the time.
 
2014-02-05 08:44:38 AM

Clever Neologism: 1 in 5 men are deeply disappointed with their marriage, so it all evens out.


That number seems a bit low.
 
2014-02-05 08:44:44 AM
I did it on the roof of the Rockefeller Center. Was pretty quiet that night, which suited me fine.

Going through security before we went up there, the ring set off the metal detector. The screener who wanted to wand me would've definitely ruined the surprise, but one of the other guys came over and said "hang on, it's probably just his jacket" and asked me to pass it through the X-ray machine. He saw what was in the pocket and handed it back with a wink and "Yeah, it was just the jacket." and let us through.

I owe that guy a beer.
 
2014-02-05 08:45:27 AM

dopekitty74: Bridezillas piss me off... It's about the person you're marrying, not about the damn proposal or the stupid wedding.


It's not the 'bridezillas' fault you got stuck with a loser who couldn't afford the proposal and wedding you were desperate for. Maybe next time round?
 
2014-02-05 08:46:04 AM
In the future if someone I love turns to me and asks me to marry them, even without a ring, that would be more than enough for me! People are silly.
 
2014-02-05 08:46:29 AM

ThatDarkFellow: Do you ever sleep or are you a fixture just sort of built into the website


Pocket Ninja is an advanced Artificial Intelligence prototype.
 
2014-02-05 08:46:30 AM

Epic Fap Session: darkjezter: Proposing to a woman in front of an audience has always seemed like kind of an asshole move to me.  It puts her on the spot and makes her too embarrassed to say no.

I proposed two weeks ago. We were with 7 of our friends in public. I figured after living together for the last 3 years and considering we'd already chosen a wedding date, I was not too worried about her answer or coercion due to the presence of our friends. She never saw the ring beforehand either. She just told me she trusted my taste.


coacheshotseat.com
 
2014-02-05 08:47:44 AM

ThatDarkFellow: Pocket Ninja: What a timely and useful article that wasn't at all intended to generate a flame war. I'm sure there will be lots of very insightful and interesting comments in here reflecting on the possible questionable values being demonstrated by this completely real segment of our society about whom we should all have very strong opinions.

Do you ever sleep or are you a fixture just sort of built into the website


He's the most advanced AI bot the world has ever known!

/i keed
 
2014-02-05 08:47:51 AM
Eh. My wife loved ours. In private, complete surprise. She always said she had public proposals. And I had her convinced that I wouldn't propose for another two years.

Plus, for weeks I was secretly testing her ring finger size, comparing it to different things so I could get the size right. You know how difficult it is to do that without her asking questions? It takes a lot of work to be subtle. And no, I couldn't ask her mom; her mother can't keep a secret to save her life.
 
2014-02-05 08:48:26 AM

Lets talk frankly about internal cleanliness: Epic Fap Session: darkjezter: Proposing to a woman in front of an audience has always seemed like kind of an asshole move to me.  It puts her on the spot and makes her too embarrassed to say no.

I proposed two weeks ago. We were with 7 of our friends in public. I figured after living together for the last 3 years and considering we'd already chosen a wedding date, I was not too worried about her answer or coercion due to the presence of our friends. She never saw the ring beforehand either. She just told me she trusted my taste.

[coacheshotseat.com image 463x448]


I know, right? What kind of narcissistic asshole posts an engagement story in a thread like this?

Answer: The kind with a happy fiancé.
 
2014-02-05 08:49:09 AM
I heard that Pocket Ninja is a collective organic intelligence, a surplus model left over from Operation Overlord that was preserved with a subtle combination of whiskey and lime.
 
2014-02-05 08:50:10 AM
My wife and I had been dating for about 6 months and we both pretty much knew we were going to get married.  We did the whole ring-shopping thing.  She said to me, "I just want to be surprised".  Well, since she KNEW the ring was coming, and KNEW there was no suspense for the YES/NO question, I had to up the ante.  So, I proposed to her at the Braves' game on the big screen.  Now this may not sound too original, but understand, my wife was not particularly a sports fan, so she was totally unprepared and floored.  We ended up with an 8x10 of the big screen message and we were on TV that night, so my parents recorded the game for us.  Pretty cool after all.  It was a hit (no pun intended).

//Rehearsal dinner during 7th game of 91 NL series
//Married on 1st day of 91 World Series
///Watched ALL the games.

////Still married!

Slashies over
 
2014-02-05 08:51:38 AM

doubled99: Would love to add snarky comment however I found myself in this exact situation a few years ago. Proposed in an intimate spot, but could tell later she wasn't happy. Confided in me hours later she didn't like the ring, and was disappointed because she wanted a big public spectacle, which I definitely wasn't into. She didn't biatch me out, but freely expressed her dismay. I had such a confused jumble of emotions I didn't really know how to react at the time.


"Proposed in an intimate spot"

What, like the back of a Volkswagen?
 
2014-02-05 08:51:51 AM
So...one in five women are complete biatches? Gee, I'd have thought the number would be higher...
 
2014-02-05 08:51:53 AM
This thread will get much better once the Fark Misogyny Brigade shows up to tell their hard luck stories.
 
2014-02-05 08:53:48 AM
I handed the carny a ten and told him to keep us at the top of the ferris wheel until she said yes.
 
2014-02-05 08:53:49 AM

Epic Fap Session: This thread will get much better once the Fark Misogyny Brigade shows up to tell their hard luck stories.


You mean "dodged a bullet" stories?
 
2014-02-05 08:53:58 AM

stevarooni: I heard that Pocket Ninja is a collective organic intelligence, a surplus model left over from Operation Overlord that was preserved with a subtle combination of whiskey and lime.


They reprogrammed the Bevetsbot platform with snark and whimsy.
 
2014-02-05 08:54:34 AM

Gulper Eel: I handed the carny a ten and told him to keep us at the top of the ferris wheel until she said yes.


Technically, it isn't rape then.
 
2014-02-05 08:55:09 AM

FarkinNortherner: dopekitty74: Bridezillas piss me off... It's about the person you're marrying, not about the damn proposal or the stupid wedding.

It's not the 'bridezillas' fault you got stuck with a loser who couldn't afford the proposal and wedding you were desperate for. Maybe next time round?


That's just it. I was NOT pissed off. I'm the type who despises spending money on frivolities. The only thing about my wedding that pissed me off is that my best friend wasn't there because he was too busy being bipolar and anti-social at that point in time.
 
2014-02-05 08:59:01 AM
I pretended to break up with my girlfriend in my proposal, saying how I'd been doing a lot of thinking lately and that I wasn't sure about the relationship, or its direction, anymore, then told her I didn't want her as a girlfriend anymore.
 
2014-02-05 09:00:31 AM

Bruce Campbell: I pretended to break up with my girlfriend in my proposal, saying how I'd been doing a lot of thinking lately and that I wasn't sure about the relationship, or its direction, anymore, then told her I didn't want her as a girlfriend anymore.


And after the knife wound was sutured together...
 
2014-02-05 09:01:05 AM
We were walking in a mall and he asked, "want to get married?" I said yes, we went and bought an $80 ring (1/20th diamond, jelly?). 7 months later we got married in a courthouse.

My only regret is we didn't take any pics.

We're kind of lame and don't like being the focus of attention so having a bunch of people stare at us isn't our thing.


But I guess if that's your thing, good for you?
 
2014-02-05 09:01:26 AM
Dam!  Didn't we just have an article with some woman complaining because some Catholic Diocese was beating and raping her too much?  Geeez, just fugg the b*tches man.  They just don't know the difference.
 
2014-02-05 09:01:45 AM
FTA:  "One in 10 would turn down proposal if they didn't like ring"

Sounds like 10% of the guys are able to dodge a bullet.  Seriously, I teach my boys (approaching "young man" status way too fast) about avoiding high-maintenance/high-expectations girls like the plague.  ;-)
 
2014-02-05 09:02:03 AM

dragonchild: ThatDarkFellow: Do you ever sleep or are you a fixture just sort of built into the website

Excuse me. . . are you actually trying to find something out about a ninja?

As for me proposing to my wife, she was moved to tears. . . it took until about the third or fourth blow to the head before she was finally limp enough to drag back to my cave.  I did give her a shiny rock, though.


Was it the same one you hit her with?
I hope it was, 'cause chicks dig sentimental shiat like that.
 
2014-02-05 09:02:35 AM

Pocket Ninja: What a timely and useful article that wasn't at all intended to generate a flame war. I'm sure there will be lots of very insightful and interesting comments in here reflecting on the possible questionable values being demonstrated by this completely real segment of our society about whom we should all have very strong opinions.


Whatever
 
2014-02-05 09:03:43 AM
My proposal didn't go so well either.

At the end of our first date we had gone to Friendly's.  The Mr. Cone Head ice cream sundae was something she loved from her childhood and ordered it whenever we went there.  I had tipped the waitress $20 to bring the sundae out with the ring sitting on top of the cone.  The plan was going smoothly, but soon-to-be fiance hadn't noticed the ring.  She was rambling on and on about something that had gone on at work that day and was slowly eating the icecream around the bowl.  The suspense was killing me, I began to sweat wondering when she would notice a damned ring sitting on top of her cone.   The waitress had come back over to see how the proposal went.  During the distraction my future fiance had picked the cone up and taken a bite.   It took 3 days for her to pass the ring.  Later she said the ring was "shiatty" and that she wished I got her something better.
 
2014-02-05 09:04:45 AM
So 1 in 5 women are vapid selfish whores. Sounds about right.

My husband proposed on a beach at sunrise in the Keys and got the exact ring I wanted. I was clueless about all his question asking on ring taste because we had only dated for 8 months before and I thought "nah, he can't be thinking of marriage. He is just curious!" I was so shocked and happy I don't even really remember the proposal.

I haven't worn my diamond in about 2 years though. I work a lot inside computers and the band was getting scratched to hell, so I bought a $15 cheap stainless steel band. My husband doesn't where is tanzanite band either and has a cheap band as well. Both ring as in the safety deposit box and only come out for special occassions.

I still love more than anything so when women get all bent out of shape about their rings I never understand it. I've even had women openly sneer at my cheap ring and say I was making a mockery of marriage. Honey, if the worth of your marriage is dependent on some metal and stone you have farked up priorities and are a terrible human being.
 
2014-02-05 09:05:03 AM

tiamet4: My husband's proposal was lovely, although he took me to my favorite restaurant first and proposed by surprise after so I still wish I wasn't so full of Indian food at the time.  Also, we were in the process of moving so we then went home to an air mattress and an angry, stressed-out cat.  The ring is not the one I would have chosen (he did get the Tiffany solitaire diamond but I would have preferred a non-diamond and a flatter setting since I work with my hands).

Guess what?  If I could go back and do it again, I wouldn't change anything.  It was still one of the sweetest, most romantic gestures anyone has ever done for me and the ring is the one he picked himself to give me when he asked me to be his wife.  Even if I could choose to design a perfect one, I would never take this one off.

If the perfection of the proposal or the size of the ring is the most important thing to you, you either shouldn't be getting married or you shouldn't be marrying that person.


You sound like my girlfriend. She works with her hands quite a bit, so I'm struggling to find something that won't get caught on something or damaged.
 
2014-02-05 09:08:43 AM

FirstNationalBastard: doubled99: Would love to add snarky comment however I found myself in this exact situation a few years ago. Proposed in an intimate spot, but could tell later she wasn't happy. Confided in me hours later she didn't like the ring, and was disappointed because she wanted a big public spectacle, which I definitely wasn't into. She didn't biatch me out, but freely expressed her dismay. I had such a confused jumble of emotions I didn't really know how to react at the time.

"Proposed in an intimate spot"

What, like the back of a Volkswagen?


Winner!
 
2014-02-05 09:09:15 AM
My wife and I had a matter of fact discussion about getting married and decided to do it. She also dislikes rings and didn't want to waste our money on a stupid rock. Needless to say, I love her very much.
 
2014-02-05 09:09:21 AM

darkjezter: Proposing to a woman in front of an audience has always seemed like kind of an asshole move to me.  It puts her on the spot and makes her too embarrassed to say no.


I've seen it happen at a local sporting event.  Dude comes out on the ice rink with a swagger while the announcer rambles on, pointing out girlfriend's location in the stands.  The guy drops to one knee in a (barf) symbolic act with one hand outstretched.  She shook her head "No" and bailed.

The spectacle would have been complete had there been a a rendition of "Wahh, wah, wah, waaaahhhhhhh" playing over the PA.
 
2014-02-05 09:14:05 AM

Bruce Campbell: I pretended to break up with my girlfriend in my proposal, saying how I'd been doing a lot of thinking lately and that I wasn't sure about the relationship, or its direction, anymore, then told her I didn't want her as a girlfriend anymore.


Oh man. That was COLD. Funny as hell, but cold.
 
2014-02-05 09:14:27 AM
My wife is pretty pragmatic and told me that she would have been happy regardless of the circumstances of the proposal, but i wanted to make it more memorable. I took her out to the theme park that we went to on our second date on the anniversary day of that date, got into the ferris wheel where we had made out for the first time on that date, and did the one-knee proposal at the top. I had never seen her happier. She brags about it to her friends to this day.
 
2014-02-05 09:15:19 AM

Real Women Drink Akvavit: I asked a guy out on a date a couple years ago. He said "yes" and looked happy and amused, but the possibility of rejection was nearly paralyzing. Knowing how hard THAT was, if a guy I had been dating for a gazillion whatevers decided to pass a note with "will you marry me? check 'yes' or 'no'" through one of his friends, I'd be impressed he had the stones to ask at all. When the roles are reversed, even once, you tend to appreciate the effort a whole lot more.


Fyi.

Nothing hotter than a girl taking the initiative to ask the man out.

Its almost impossible for a guy to say no. Even if he's not into you before... it will probably make him so.

In my single days, I always had a little more respect for the girls that asked me out rather than vice versa... usually those relationships were better too... partially because I sucked at picking the right person.
 
2014-02-05 09:15:33 AM

hailin: So 1 in 5 women are vapid selfish whores. Sounds about right.

My husband proposed on a beach at sunrise in the Keys and got the exact ring I wanted. I was clueless about all his question asking on ring taste because we had only dated for 8 months before and I thought "nah, he can't be thinking of marriage. He is just curious!" I was so shocked and happy I don't even really remember the proposal.

I haven't worn my diamond in about 2 years though. I work a lot inside computers and the band was getting scratched to hell, so I bought a $15 cheap stainless steel band. My husband doesn't where is tanzanite band either and has a cheap band as well. Both ring as in the safety deposit box and only come out for special occassions.

I still love more than anything so when women get all bent out of shape about their rings I never understand it. I've even had women openly sneer at my cheap ring and say I was making a mockery of marriage. Honey, if the worth of your marriage is dependent on some metal and stone you have farked up priorities and are a terrible human being.


Lady sounds like a coont.
I hardly ever wear a ring, period. I don't like how rings and necklaces feel. But when I do wear a ring, I wear my cubic Z ring and not my real one. I lose things a lot (lost my engagment ring in the house somehow).
So if I'm going to lose something id rather it be the ring set that only cost $140.
Bonus: since cubic z are so much cheaper I can get a bigger sparkle for way less.
Yay
 
2014-02-05 09:16:05 AM

bark_atda_moon: It is a classic no-win situation.  You can buy her a ring and have a wonderful surprise proposal, but the odds of her liking the ring or it fitting perfectly are not great.  Alternatively you can take her ring shopping, but that kills the surprise proposal.

The only winning move is not to play.


Actually the size can be obtained on the sly. I took her tk a jewelry store and told her to show me some ideas for Christmas gifts which she might like. While there I pick a random ring, saying how it would look.good on her. She picks something she likes better, eventually I say "lets get your ring size so I will have it if I end up getting you one" and there it is.
 
2014-02-05 09:17:01 AM

Clever Neologism: 1 in 5 men are deeply disappointed with their marriage, so it all evens out.


Indeed.

If the woman you are proposing to is so vapid and shallow that she complains about the size of the diamond in her ring, then you get what you deserve for marrying the entitled biatch.

Women are gonna learn sooner or later..but men are gonna have to wise up first.
 
2014-02-05 09:18:24 AM
My wife picked out her own ring, and it happened to be amongst the cheapest two-part engagement/wedding ring combo available and on clearance because it wasn't selling. But it was very unique and that's what she wanted.

Instead, the money that would normally have bought a big fancy ring paid out her credit card debt and got us off to a much better start than a ton of debt and a flashy ring would have.
 
m00
2014-02-05 09:18:29 AM

mgshamster: Plus, for weeks I was secretly testing her ring finger size,


How did you manage?
 
2014-02-05 09:24:34 AM

m00: mgshamster: Plus, for weeks I was secretly testing her ring finger size,

How did you manage?


So dear... I want to see how your finger feels in my anus compared to each of these wooden dowels.
 
2014-02-05 09:25:22 AM
Seeing as how marriage clearly benefits women moreso than men, the dropping to one knee thing has to be done away with. Talk about adding insult to injury. Yeah let me just get down on on my knees and BEG for the privilege to give you everything you want at the expense of my own interests. I pity any guy who did that. No way I was going to kneel. I didn't even have a ring when I proposed and I honestly couldn't give less of a fark whether it disappointed her or not.

If you're considering proposing, ask your woman if she thinks the kneeling proposal is romantic. If she finds it romantic, she's totally out of touch with the way the modern world works and you're probably better off dumping her ass. If she says it's dumb, congrats you got a keeper.
 
2014-02-05 09:25:56 AM
1 in 5 women will be disappointed no matter what the man does.

I proposed at what I had told my wife was my 35th birthday party.  I haven't celebrated my birthday ever.  Specified no gifts.  I just wanted to get all her friends and family there.  Called everyone inside, thanked them for coming, said there was only one gift I wanted and then got down on my knee.  Proposed in exactly the same spot where, after my wife and I's second date, I told my friends that I was off the market for good.  To laughter and scoffing (I'd played the field for many, many years).

She loved it, but always jokes that I proposed to her at a kegger.  Best thing I've ever done in my life, truly.

doubled99: Would love to add snarky comment however I found myself in this exact situation a few years ago. Proposed in an intimate spot, but could tell later she wasn't happy. Confided in me hours later she didn't like the ring, and was disappointed because she wanted a big public spectacle, which I definitely wasn't into. She didn't biatch me out, but freely expressed her dismay. I had such a confused jumble of emotions I didn't really know how to react at the time.


How did you guys move on from that?  Still together?
 
2014-02-05 09:30:58 AM

Fafai: Yeah let me just get down on on my knees and BEG for the privilege to give you everything you want at the expense of my own interests.


You have a disturbingly warped view of marriage and relationships.
 
2014-02-05 09:33:50 AM

give me doughnuts: Was it the same one you hit her with? I hope it was, 'cause chicks dig sentimental shiat like that.


Kinda hard to coldcock someone with a rock that fits on a finger band.  I used an animal bone from yesterday's hunt, of course.

What I actually did was place the jewel box in a paper cutout of a Super Mario Bros. [?] block.  After she was done crying, she promptly made a thread about it.

Nerdy proposals rule.
 
2014-02-05 09:36:04 AM
I always figured people would propose in front of a big crowd when they weren't so sure that the answer would be yes due to public pressure. Then again, I had a friend who proposed in front of the Trevi Fountain with a huge crowd and it was actually pretty cool.
 
2014-02-05 09:36:30 AM

Epic Fap Session: Fafai: Yeah let me just get down on on my knees and BEG for the privilege to give you everything you want at the expense of my own interests.

You have a disturbingly warped realistic view of marriage and relationships.


Ok, Mr. Proposed-Two-Weeks-Ago. Get back to me in 12 years.
 
2014-02-05 09:37:13 AM
And yet somehow coonts like this get marriage proposals.
 
2014-02-05 09:37:26 AM

doubled99: Would love to add snarky comment however I found myself in this exact situation a few years ago. Proposed in an intimate spot, but could tell later she wasn't happy. Confided in me hours later she didn't like the ring, and was disappointed because she wanted a big public spectacle, which I definitely wasn't into. She didn't biatch me out, but freely expressed her dismay. I had such a confused jumble of emotions I didn't really know how to react at the time.


i hope you did not end up getting married, she sounds unpleasant
 
2014-02-05 09:40:53 AM
I was deeply disappointed with the first bj she gave me too. I wanted it to happen in front of all my friends, on bended knees..
 
2014-02-05 09:42:14 AM

ThatDarkFellow: Pocket Ninja: What a timely and useful article that wasn't at all intended to generate a flame war. I'm sure there will be lots of very insightful and interesting comments in here reflecting on the possible questionable values being demonstrated by this completely real segment of our society about whom we should all have very strong opinions.

Do you ever sleep or are you a fixture just sort of built into the website


Being unemployed and being a fark wall flower have a lot in common.
 
2014-02-05 09:43:37 AM

Pocket Ninja: What a timely and useful article that wasn't at all intended to generate a flame war. I'm sure there will be lots of very insightful and interesting comments in here reflecting on the possible questionable values being demonstrated by this completely real segment of our society about whom we should all have very strong opinions.


Well,what would you have of us then?
 
2014-02-05 09:43:45 AM
It's a survey that invariably went out to Daily Fail reading nags and/or writing staff. Of course you're going to get vapid twat answers in there.
 
2014-02-05 09:46:13 AM

pxlboy: tiamet4: My husband's proposal was lovely, although he took me to my favorite restaurant first and proposed by surprise after so I still wish I wasn't so full of Indian food at the time.  Also, we were in the process of moving so we then went home to an air mattress and an angry, stressed-out cat.  The ring is not the one I would have chosen (he did get the Tiffany solitaire diamond but I would have preferred a non-diamond and a flatter setting since I work with my hands).

Guess what?  If I could go back and do it again, I wouldn't change anything.  It was still one of the sweetest, most romantic gestures anyone has ever done for me and the ring is the one he picked himself to give me when he asked me to be his wife.  Even if I could choose to design a perfect one, I would never take this one off.

If the perfection of the proposal or the size of the ring is the most important thing to you, you either shouldn't be getting married or you shouldn't be marrying that person.

You sound like my girlfriend. She works with her hands quite a bit, so I'm struggling to find something that won't get caught on something or damaged.


Try titanium. The coolest rings I've seen use other weird precious metals-you could probably find a few that don't scratch all too easily.
 
2014-02-05 09:46:53 AM

piercedgeek: It's not that hard, guys.Sunset, beach, have someone with camera ready. Bonus points: have it printed to a wallet that she'll cherish for many years.


I bet she bulked up nicely
 
2014-02-05 09:47:00 AM
The former Kate Middleton's famous blue sapphire oval cut engagement ring was the firm favourite of 11 per centof the women polled

Hey, that's the same type of engagement ring I gave my wife, thirty years ago. I was poor and was going to get a cheap ring and my aunt found out about it and made me take it back, giving me the ring my grandfather gave my grandmother when he came back from WWI. Said it was a love gift and it would bring me luck. I lucked out since my wife considers it a treasured family heirloom.

/Nice to see that those royal limey f*ckers have the same good taste as my grandpappy.
 
2014-02-05 09:47:22 AM
are one in 5 of those surveyed now single cat women?
 
2014-02-05 09:47:43 AM
3 in 6 men wish they weren't stupid enough to sign the best years of their life over to a selfish gold digging biatch. It's 50/50 guys.  I can't believe men are still falling for this farce.
 
2014-02-05 09:47:47 AM
CSB:

I proposed to my girlfriend at the Astros-Yankees game at the end of last season. Got it on the Jumbotron and everything.

And the funny thing is, prior to meeting her, I always thought those stadium proposals were stupid. The girl almost never seems interested and there's always the possibility of a 'no'.

But she is a die-hard Yankees fan and I knew what the answer would be. I didn't even tell her I had tickets to the game until two weeks prior. I would've waited longer, but we saw a commercial for the game and she let out a huge sigh that she was so sad she couldn't go.

I was more nervous than I have ever been in my life. Had the ring in my left pocket (at one point she sat so close to me while waiting to leave that she sat ON the ring box) and kept nervously looking around the stadium waiting for the bottom of the 5th inning. Luckily she was so excited about seeing the Yankees that I don't think anything would've distracted her.

The best part was her (and my) entire family were also at the game, one section over and about 30 rows up. We had it planned perfectly so she never saw them. After I proposed and she said yes, I pointed to our family and she just went crazy. She thought we were alone at the stadium and was blown away.

Best night of our lives. Here's a video of it on Youtube. It's not set to public, but I figured I might as well share it here to my internet family: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LGToWOZfteI

And guys, if you want to do a proposal at a game, you need to A) make sure she is a BIG fan of a team and get tickets to see that team. And B) MAKE SURE YOU ALREADY KNOW THE ANSWER!

/CSB
 
2014-02-05 09:47:58 AM
....... and in other news, 1 in 5 women are materialistic to the point where their only friend is a cat.

(albeit, one with a superb pedigree!)
 
2014-02-05 09:48:27 AM
Who could possibly be disappointed with "You're getting older, fatter, and uglier... you should be thanking me for this..."?
 
2014-02-05 09:50:27 AM

imashark: pxlboy: tiamet4: My husband's proposal was lovely, although he took me to my favorite restaurant first and proposed by surprise after so I still wish I wasn't so full of Indian food at the time.  Also, we were in the process of moving so we then went home to an air mattress and an angry, stressed-out cat.  The ring is not the one I would have chosen (he did get the Tiffany solitaire diamond but I would have preferred a non-diamond and a flatter setting since I work with my hands).

Guess what?  If I could go back and do it again, I wouldn't change anything.  It was still one of the sweetest, most romantic gestures anyone has ever done for me and the ring is the one he picked himself to give me when he asked me to be his wife.  Even if I could choose to design a perfect one, I would never take this one off.

If the perfection of the proposal or the size of the ring is the most important thing to you, you either shouldn't be getting married or you shouldn't be marrying that person.

You sound like my girlfriend. She works with her hands quite a bit, so I'm struggling to find something that won't get caught on something or damaged.

Try titanium. The coolest rings I've seen use other weird precious metals-you could probably find a few that don't scratch all too easily.


My ring is stainless steel with a copper ring inlay. It will scuff but the wife says it gives it character. It's also 10 years old now tho.
 
2014-02-05 09:53:56 AM

scottydoesntknow: She thought we were alone at the stadium and was blown away.


Did you do that on the honeymoon too?
 
2014-02-05 09:54:56 AM

vudukungfu: scottydoesntknow: She thought we were alone at the stadium and was blown away.

Did you do that on the honeymoon too?


Planning on it!
 
2014-02-05 09:58:01 AM

kim jong-un: Pocket Ninja: What a timely and useful article that wasn't at all intended to generate a flame war. I'm sure there will be lots of very insightful and interesting comments in here reflecting on the possible questionable values being demonstrated by this completely real segment of our society about whom we should all have very strong opinions.

Well,what would you have of us then?


I'm no Pocket Ninja, but let me take a stab at this.  The Daily Mail website is notorious for ad agency funded "studies" that seek to instigate reaction for the purpose of 1) Getting website hits for the Daily Mail and 2) Getting people to talk about their product, service, or political ideology that they're pushing at the moment.

They count on the fact that people are too stupid to realize that they're being played.  It's clearly working as it seems Fark.com greenlighters happily fall into the advertising machine.

TLDR version.  This isn't a real study, it's an ad to sell diamonds/wedding services/divorce services.  It's aimed low, demonizing the stupid, prey on the base emotions.
 
2014-02-05 09:58:10 AM
Heh. I technically had to propose twice... despite her knowing it was coming at SOME point and that I was largely just waiting for the ring to be finished, I was still really nervous and flustered and did REALLY lame job of proposing and giving her the ring (made all the more lame since she knew me well enough to have discerned earlier in the day that the ring had been finished and I'd be proposing soon). We were going out to do some shopping and get dinner, and in the car she said she wanted me to do it again now that I wasn't quite so nervous. I picked a restaurant near where we'd had several of our first dates and proposed again at the spot where we'd first kissed, which went over much better (other than it being so cold we were both freezing).

She's still amazed at the ring though- unbeknownst to her my elderly widowed grandmother had given me her engagement ring to use the diamonds from in my fiancee's ring so I'd ended up designing a much more elaborate ring with MUCH bigger diamonds than she was expecting.
 
2014-02-05 09:58:34 AM

whatsupchuck: I never understood the need for a dramatic proposal and elaborate wedding. Ladies, your life is not a <insert famous Hollywood actress> movie, and in the end none of that is the least bit important.


ooh, this could be fun...  angelina jolie?  sigourney weaver? jamie lee curtis?  you've definitely got a keeper if she wants that kind of proposal and wedding... XD
 
2014-02-05 09:58:38 AM

Fafai: Epic Fap Session: Fafai: Yeah let me just get down on on my knees and BEG for the privilege to give you everything you want at the expense of my own interests.

You have a disturbingly warped realistic view of marriage and relationships.

Ok, Mr. Proposed-Two-Weeks-Ago. Get back to me in 12 years.


Sorry you chose so poorly.

Also, I started dating my fiancé in 2002. What else you got, bitter guy?
 
2014-02-05 09:58:38 AM

dopekitty74: That's just it. I was NOT pissed off. I'm the type who despises spending money on frivolities. The only thing about my wedding that pissed me off is that my best friend wasn't there because he was too busy being bipolar and anti-social at that point in time.


Bah, I never was much good at trolling!
 
2014-02-05 10:03:03 AM
I had this conversation with my GF recently...   the ring convo...       She showed me pics of what she would like... basically a $10k huge ass ring.   I said so you would rather have something to wear on your finger to show to your girls than to have us take a 2-3 week european vacation with the kids?  She said she wants the ring.  We've both been married/divorced 1x.  (not from each other)


I'm planning my escape route.
 
2014-02-05 10:06:30 AM

doubled99: Would love to add snarky comment however I found myself in this exact situation a few years ago. Proposed in an intimate spot, but could tell later she wasn't happy. Confided in me hours later she didn't like the ring, and was disappointed because she wanted a big public spectacle, which I definitely wasn't into. She didn't biatch me out, but freely expressed her dismay. I had such a confused jumble of emotions I didn't really know how to react at the time.



Well??  Did you come or what??
 
2014-02-05 10:08:19 AM
I went with a very nice ring and a romantic, but private proposal.  10 years later, totally worth not hearing a single complaint.  Fark all your idealism, totally worth the silence.
 
2014-02-05 10:08:44 AM

Gentoolive: piercedgeek: It's not that hard, guys.Sunset, beach, have someone with camera ready. Bonus points: have it printed to a wallet that she'll cherish for many years.

I bet she bulked up nicely


Na, she's always been chubby, since we met, but I find her attractive, enjoy spending time with her, and love our children. Really feel like I picked well, thank you :)


imashark:

Try titanium. The coolest rings I've seen use other weird precious metals-you could probably find a few that don't scratch all too easily.


+1 for titanium, I have a relatively cheap band for me, titanium with Celtic knots, has held up great. Insanely light, feels like plastic in your palm.
 
2014-02-05 10:11:24 AM

Mr.BobDobalita: I had this conversation with my GF recently...   the ring convo...       She showed me pics of what she would like... basically a $10k huge ass ring.   I said so you would rather have something to wear on your finger to show to your girls than to have us take a 2-3 week european vacation with the kids?  She said she wants the ring.  We've both been married/divorced 1x.  (not from each other)


I'm planning my escape route.


Stand by, a chopper is inbound.
 
2014-02-05 10:13:19 AM

Real Women Drink Akvavit: I asked a guy out on a date a couple years ago. He said "yes" and looked happy and amused, but the possibility of rejection was nearly paralyzing. Knowing how hard THAT was, if a guy I had been dating for a gazillion whatevers decided to pass a note with "will you marry me? check 'yes' or 'no'" through one of his friends, I'd be impressed he had the stones to ask at all. When the roles are reversed, even once, you tend to appreciate the effort a whole lot more.


Yup.  Thing is, as guys we are expected to do that all the time.
Women are always talking about wanting a confident guy, but at least you apparently know what it does to your confidence levels to ask someone you actually genuinely like out.  Now, imagine you got turned down.  Now do that several dozen times, over and over and over.

Welcome to being a guy.

Women wonder why we end up treating dates like meat?  Its a self defense mechanism.  You can't treat first dates like people, because its way too much of an emotional investment for someone you'll probably never see again.

We treat women in general like meat because its the only way we avoid walking around as soul shattered husks of disappointment.
 
2014-02-05 10:14:02 AM

Mr.BobDobalita: I had this conversation with my GF recently...   the ring convo...       She showed me pics of what she would like... basically a $10k huge ass ring.   I said so you would rather have something to wear on your finger to show to your girls than to have us take a 2-3 week european vacation with the kids?  She said she wants the ring.  We've both been married/divorced 1x.  (not from each other)


I'm planning my escape route.


Good plan... we made sure to budget for an awesome honeymoon (2 weeks in Ireland) and it was well worth it! If she's opting to go for maximum ring at the expense of such an experience... ESPECIALLY after having done the married thing once before... time to go
 
2014-02-05 10:18:18 AM
Pfft. I can top that.

The "proposal" I got from my husband was back in '93, when we were flying up to Canada to see my relatives. I was biatching about my passport paperwork, and he leaned over and said teasingly "You know, if we were married, you wouldn't have to go through that..." I believe my response was "You are a mofo (I don't do well with surprises). We'll talk about this later, but not on the middle of a plane."

In a couple months we'll have been married 10 years, so there's my little anecdote as to why "romantic proposals" don't mean a thing for a marriage except in someone's head.
 
2014-02-05 10:23:26 AM

Epic Fap Session: Fafai: Epic Fap Session: Fafai: Yeah let me just get down on on my knees and BEG for the privilege to give you everything you want at the expense of my own interests.

You have a disturbingly warped realistic view of marriage and relationships.

Ok, Mr. Proposed-Two-Weeks-Ago. Get back to me in 12 years.

Sorry you chose so poorly.

Also, I started dating my fiancé in 2002. What else you got, bitter guy?


Who says I'm bitter and who says I chose poorly? If I decided I chose poorly I would get divorced. Yet here I am, happily married. If you don't think both parties sacrifice a certain amount of freedom, you're either nuts or you're simple. But this tradition that the guy always does the proposing needs to change if we ever want real progress. It's antiquated and it's sexist from both sides at once (it puts women on pedestals, devalues the man's worth). The bended knee thing is just a farking disgrace. I don't know how any man who did that can ever look himself in the mirror, TBH. Talk about selling yourself short.
 
2014-02-05 10:28:33 AM

Fafai: Epic Fap Session: Fafai: Epic Fap Session: Fafai: Yeah let me just get down on on my knees and BEG for the privilege to give you everything you want at the expense of my own interests.

You have a disturbingly warped realistic view of marriage and relationships.

Ok, Mr. Proposed-Two-Weeks-Ago. Get back to me in 12 years.

Sorry you chose so poorly.

Also, I started dating my fiancé in 2002. What else you got, bitter guy?

Who says I'm bitter and who says I chose poorly? If I decided I chose poorly I would get divorced. Yet here I am, happily married. If you don't think both parties sacrifice a certain amount of freedom, you're either nuts or you're simple. But this tradition that the guy always does the proposing needs to change if we ever want real progress. It's antiquated and it's sexist from both sides at once (it puts women on pedestals, devalues the man's worth). The bended knee thing is just a farking disgrace. I don't know how any man who did that can ever look himself in the mirror, TBH. Talk about selling yourself short.


Ahh memories..

Remember the good ol days when you could smack a biatch?
 
2014-02-05 10:33:10 AM
I proposed to my wife in Fiji. Of course; she was living there at the time.
 
2014-02-05 10:36:50 AM
So, one in five women are self-centered, entitled biatches?

I am pleasantly surprised to find out this is so low.

Wait--that's one in five women who manage to keep the batshiat crazy turned down enough for a guy to ask to marry her, isn't it?

That would be a MUCH lower number.
 
2014-02-05 10:40:03 AM
We lived together for over a year before I proposed. You never really know someone until you live with them.

Her family didn't care for it that much, but seeing as how her first marriage ended in divorce (she got married kinda young), they knew better than to say anything.
 
2014-02-05 10:40:11 AM
Eww. Proposing in front of people just seems so.... I don't know. Attention-seeking? The last thing my fiancee and I would have wanted at that moment was other people's eyes on us.
 
2014-02-05 10:43:42 AM

Silly_Sot: So, one in five women are self-centered, entitled biatches?


I've definitely heard of some awful proposals that women have every right to be annoyed at. The size of the diamond is a pretty vapid complaint, but she has every right to expect you to put some effort into it. You're asking to spend the rest of your life with her, not whether she wants Chinese takeout or pizza.
 
2014-02-05 10:47:24 AM
She's thinking lobster, I'm thinking Burger King.
 
2014-02-05 10:48:33 AM

thurstonxhowell: You're asking to spend the rest of your life with her


But why? I bet if you asked, most guys would answer something along the lines of, "because she wanted it." So how about SHE put some effort into it? She's free to say no if she isn't happy with the effort. Let's stop pandering to women like they're royalty and maybe things will improve for everyone.
 
Ant
2014-02-05 10:50:46 AM
My proposal: After months of her saying "we should get married" was "OK, let's get married"

I'm not really a romantic type of guy, but I believe I've been a good husband for the last 22 years, and a good father for the last 8. The proposal and wedding and ring are given way too much significance. The marriage is more important.
 
2014-02-05 10:57:10 AM

piercedgeek: It's not that hard, guys.Sunset, beach, have someone with camera ready. Bonus points: have it printed to a wallet that she'll cherish for many years.
[www.piercedgeek.net image 314x235]


My waterway was the Mississippi in New Orleans, and the bridge was the Huey P. Long. Sunset on one horizon, lightning storm on the other.
 
2014-02-05 11:00:28 AM

Fafai: thurstonxhowell: You're asking to spend the rest of your life with her

But why? I bet if you asked, most guys would answer something along the lines of, "because she wanted it." So how about SHE put some effort into it? She's free to say no if she isn't happy with the effort. Let's stop pandering to women like they're royalty and maybe things will improve for everyone.


Well, I asked my fiancee because I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. If your reason for asking someone to spend the rest of their life with you is something other than you wanting them to say yes to that question, then maybe you should look in the mirror if you want someone to blame.
 
2014-02-05 11:01:35 AM
My wife hated mine.  We had been planning the wedding for months when she suddenly announced that I had never actually proposed to her (which was true I guess), so I got down on one knee and looked up with loving eyes and said "Hey babe, lets get hitched".  This did not go over well but we still got married and are about to celebrate 25 years together.

I still get crap for this, I guess that was just not the time for a joke.
 
2014-02-05 11:03:07 AM

Ant: My proposal: After months of her saying "we should get married" was "OK, let's get married"


This is exactly what I'm talking about. Good for you, Ant. She was the one chasing after marriage, and so you framed it in a way that you were giving her what she was asking for. I like that.

If I seem bitter in this thread it's just because I hate how it's obviously the woman who wants it more, the woman who has more to gain from marriage, and yet we still play this ridiculous game where the man has to ask and beg for her hand like it's something he wants more than she does, like she could just take it or leave it and is doing him a huge favor by accepting. I am shaking my head at all youi losers who kneeled down. Stop being losers.
 
2014-02-05 11:08:11 AM

ununcle: 3 in 6 men wish they weren't stupid enough to sign the best years of their life over to a selfish gold digging biatch. It's 50/50 guys.  I can't believe men are still falling for this farce.


It sucks that you chose the wrong woman, but statistically, married men are happier, make more money, live longer, have higher education, commit less crime, give more to charity, and vote more.  Yeah, it's a risk, but you're a farking man, when has risk aversion ever been an issue?
 
2014-02-05 11:11:41 AM

varmitydog: The former Kate Middleton's famous blue sapphire oval cut engagement ring was the firm favourite of 11 per centof the women polled

Hey, that's the same type of engagement ring I gave my wife, thirty years ago. I was poor and was going to get a cheap ring and my aunt found out about it and made me take it back, giving me the ring my grandfather gave my grandmother when he came back from WWI. Said it was a love gift and it would bring me luck. I lucked out since my wife considers it a treasured family heirloom.

/Nice to see that those royal limey f*ckers have the same good taste as my grandpappy.


Blue sapphires stand for trust, loyalty, and fidelity, which sounds more like what you want in a marriage than just "forever." And, according to an article I read, royals used to use them for engagement/wedding rings all the time, back in the day.

Sounds like you and your grandfather have wonderful taste. Congratulations on finding such a wonderful Lady.
 
2014-02-05 11:12:15 AM

thurstonxhowell: Fafai: thurstonxhowell: You're asking to spend the rest of your life with her

But why? I bet if you asked, most guys would answer something along the lines of, "because she wanted it." So how about SHE put some effort into it? She's free to say no if she isn't happy with the effort. Let's stop pandering to women like they're royalty and maybe things will improve for everyone.

Well, I asked my fiancee because I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. If your reason for asking someone to spend the rest of their life with you is something other than you wanting them to say yes to that question, then maybe you should look in the mirror if you want someone to blame.


You don't need to be married to spend the rest of your life with someone, though. Yes, I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her, but I proposed marriage specifically to make her happy. It was totally about giving her what she wanted. I'm betting most of the time it is like this, as in Ant's story above. Yet we act like it's the other way around. It's pathetic.
 
2014-02-05 11:16:02 AM
Not satisfied with the circumstances of their husband's proposal, the diamond ring, or that they didn't get to show off in front of all their b*tchy, catty girlfriends?
Fark them.
/not bitter
//just hate stupid
 
2014-02-05 11:18:24 AM

danielscissorhands: [cache.reelz.com image 610x355]


THIS.

/I knew I had you favorited for a reason.
 
2014-02-05 11:19:23 AM

Mr.BobDobalita: I had this conversation with my GF recently...   the ring convo...       She showed me pics of what she would like... basically a $10k huge ass ring.   I said so you would rather have something to wear on your finger to show to your girls than to have us take a 2-3 week european vacation with the kids?  She said she wants the ring.  We've both been married/divorced 1x.  (not from each other)


I'm planning my escape route.


Yeah ... time to eject before this ride goes any further: divorces are expensive.  Especially if you're divorcing someone that self centered and materialistic.
 
2014-02-05 11:20:37 AM

Fafai: Yes, I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her, but I proposed marriage specifically to make her happy. It was totally about giving her what she wanted. I'm betting most of the time it is like this, as in Ant's story above. Yet we act like it's the other way around. It's pathetic.


thurstonxhowell: maybe you should look in the mirror if you want someone to blame

 
2014-02-05 11:28:29 AM

thurstonxhowell: Fafai: Yes, I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her, but I proposed marriage specifically to make her happy. It was totally about giving her what she wanted. I'm betting most of the time it is like this, as in Ant's story above. Yet we act like it's the other way around. It's pathetic.

thurstonxhowell: maybe you should look in the mirror if you want someone to blame


To blame for what? TFA is about how women expect proposals to be a certain way. Are you saying I can shoulder all of the blame for that somehow?
 
2014-02-05 11:31:12 AM
I wouldn't change my proposal story for the world.

We'd planned to go to dinner but I got sick that night (our 5-year anniversary). So I stayed home while he went out for take-out from the restaurant, and when I woke up from a nap, he'd set up dinner in the dining room with candles and everything. When I asked what had taken him so long (he'd left like 2 hours before), he held out a ring box and asked me to marry him.

He'd taken so long because he was getting me a ring at the arcade in the mall, a little toy one as a placeholder because we were so broke (we were 21 at the time). I still have it and it's so adorable.

/bought a ring together the next week; it cost $100 and had the tiniest diamond
//didn't care
///still married; 13 years together this September
 
2014-02-05 11:36:22 AM
After my fiance said an enthusiastic yes to my proposal (fancy restaurant, jazz band playing, very romantic) she said "I hope you didn't spend a lot of money on this."

That's when I knew I had a keeper.

/I  didn't and she loved it more as a result.
//still looks nice (3 stone princess cut)
///it's about the relationship, and wanting to spend the rest of your life together, not a dumb ring or the fancy date (or lack of) that it was presented on.
////If she were disappointed, I'd call it off.  Even if I totally botched it, the excitement of getting married should override any disappointment over the size of the ring (if your that materialistic) or the circumstances under which i handed it over.
 
2014-02-05 11:37:30 AM

scottydoesntknow: LGToWOZfteI

And guys, if you want to do a proposal at a game, you need to A) make sure she is a BIG fan of a team and get tickets to see that team. And B) MAKE SURE YOU ALREADY KNOW THE ANSWER!


That made me sappy. Well done.
 
2014-02-05 11:38:11 AM
My fiance and I got engaged about a month ago, and his proposal plan went totally off the rails.  That made it all the more memorable.  I don't get people who think that it has to be some elaborate production with an audience and a ring the size of a doorknob.
 
2014-02-05 11:39:16 AM

Fafai: thurstonxhowell: Fafai: Yes, I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her, but I proposed marriage specifically to make her happy. It was totally about giving her what she wanted. I'm betting most of the time it is like this, as in Ant's story above. Yet we act like it's the other way around. It's pathetic.

thurstonxhowell: maybe you should look in the mirror if you want someone to blame

To blame for what? TFA is about how women expect proposals to be a certain way. Are you saying I can shoulder all of the blame for that somehow?


Try to follow our conversation. It's really only been about one idea so far. If you asked your wife or fiancee to marry you for any other reason that wanting her to say yes to that question, then you done farked up.

If you do want her to say yes, it follows that you might think of this as a romantic occasion. If you're asking by surprise, it also follows that she won't have a hand in planning it. If she doesn't have a hand in planning it and you want it to be a romantic occasion, then it follows that you should plan a romantic occasion. If you're planning a romantic occasion, it follows that you should plan something that both of you will enjoy. Therefore, if you are planning a surprise proposal, you will need to take what she wants into consideration. This isn't complicated logic.

It also doesn't have to be something terribly involved or expensive. I proposed in our apartment because we're private people and then we did what we were planning to do that day anyway as a newly engaged couple. The fact that this was simple, easy, and something that was fun for both of us goes back to the reason I wanted to marry her in the first place. If you want to marry someone with higher maintenance requirements, then you had better be happy with catering to those requirements. If you're not, why are you getting married?
 
2014-02-05 11:41:40 AM
doubled99 Would love to add snarky comment however I found myself in this exact situation a few years ago. Proposed in an intimate spot, but could tell later she wasn't happy. Confided in me hours later she didn't like the ring, and was disappointed because she wanted a big public spectacle, which I definitely wasn't into. She didn't biatch me out, but freely expressed her dismay. I had such a confused jumble of emotions I didn't really know how to react at the time.

i hope you did not end up getting married, she sounds unpleasant



Still "engaged" almost 3 years later
 
2014-02-05 11:47:25 AM
I always figured weddings happened between two people, so I'd need to find the guy first, before worrying about anything else. I never liked the cheesy, bended knee, over-the-top proposals, but, if I found the right guy, it wouldn't matter what he did or how he did it, since I would be getting the better end of the deal (in my mind, HE shouldn't think that, of course).

Boyfriend and I were best friends long before dating, and I've known he was the guy even longer before that. He was a person I knew I needed to have in my life, even if we'd only ever be friends. But, when he started asking questions about rings, I was overwhelmed and had no information to give him.

I was ordered to start looking so he'd have an idea of my tastes, which was sweet, and the search started out well enough. Then, the excitement hit me and I had a brief Jekyll and Hyde moment where I became Kim Kardasian, bordering on the obsessed. I stopped looking at rings cold turkey when I came across a thread written by a woman wanting help in telling her fiancee she wanted a better Tiffany ring than the one he gave her and over half the comments agreed.

I am the happiest when I'm with him, even if we're just watching Manchester United suck it up this season (fingers crossed for a turn around!)... why would I want to risk letting a piece of jewelry get in the way of that?

/oh, look, I wrote a novel...
 
2014-02-05 11:54:37 AM
My fiance proposed on a beach.  He had my Mom smuggle the ring from CA to FL and I had no idea it was going to happen.  It was very sweet.
 
2014-02-05 11:56:47 AM
When my husband proposed, he'd been planning a big surprise but got too nervous, so he just came into the room where I was, pulled out the box and asked me.  I had no idea it was coming, since we'd only been dating a few months.  I didn't even really look at the ring, I just said yes and put it on, and much happy private time ensued.

Much later, he told me when he'd proposed to his first wife, he'd taken her out for dinner and had the waiter slip the ring onto her dessert plate.  He said when the plate came, she looked at the ring, picked it up and stared at it for a second, wrinkled her nose and said, "What is this?" He said, "It's an engagement ring.  Will you marry me?"  She said, "Oh."  Then she ate her dessert.

/years later I told him it was the most expensive piece of jewelry I'd ever owned, and I would've been just as satisfied with something smaller.  He said, "NOW you tell me."
 
2014-02-05 12:01:14 PM

superlawyergirl: if I found the right guy, it wouldn't matter what he did or how he did it, since I would be getting the better end of the deal (in my mind, HE shouldn't think that, of course).


Exactly what I've been trying to demonstrate in the thread, right from the horse's mouth, thanks. I'm saying we need to stop all this pretending and acting--it isn't helping anyone.
 
2014-02-05 12:04:13 PM

Fafai: superlawyergirl: if I found the right guy, it wouldn't matter what he did or how he did it, since I would be getting the better end of the deal (in my mind, HE shouldn't think that, of course).

Exactly what I've been trying to demonstrate in the thread, right from the horse's mouth, thanks. I'm saying we need to stop all this pretending and acting--it isn't helping anyone.



Also, we shouldn't let kids believe in Santa Claus, or bother with fireworks on the fourth of July, and who the heck needs to celebrate birthdays?  Plus, love is just an oxytocin reaction in the brain, and religion only exists to stave off peoples' fear of death.

You must be lots of fun at parties
 
2014-02-05 12:14:45 PM

doubled99: doubled99 Would love to add snarky comment however I found myself in this exact situation a few years ago. Proposed in an intimate spot, but could tell later she wasn't happy. Confided in me hours later she didn't like the ring, and was disappointed because she wanted a big public spectacle, which I definitely wasn't into. She didn't biatch me out, but freely expressed her dismay. I had such a confused jumble of emotions I didn't really know how to react at the time.

i hope you did not end up getting married, she sounds unpleasant


Still "engaged" almost 3 years later


You should really just end it.
It's great that she's honest, but ... you're dating with a rock between you.

Seriously, if it takes you over 2 years to get married... :\
Also please don't propose to a girl, unless you're willing to get married that minute.
 
2014-02-05 12:17:13 PM
We had been ring shopping and she knew it was coming - but I had hinted that it would be on Valentine's Day. A few days before that I arranged for my brother to need me to come down to Grand Central Terminal to pick something up from him - right before the station closed for the night. I asked her to marry me in a near-empty GCT with my brother there taking pictures. She loved the proposal and a picture of it is one of the first things you see coming into our apartment.
She just wished that she wasn't wearing uggs for it!
 
2014-02-05 12:18:45 PM
I wanted to propose in a way that was different, romantic (in it's own way) and memorable.  I didn't want to look back in regret that I didn't TRY to do something different.  It was in private and I don't think she forgot it.  She might have thought of a different presentation, but she won't forget and she probably smiles about it a little even today - look back with a smile. I think you should know your intended bride well enough to understand what you and she will look back on 40 years down the road and consider accordingly.  20% dissatisfied seems low.
 
2014-02-05 12:23:04 PM
I was happy to be able to surprise my fiance, give her a ring she loved and have some close friends present to see it go down. I don't know if she wanted me to get down on my knee, but I did. There are few things in life that are as rewarding as making someone you love extremely happy.

It's also telling that the only judgmental pricks in this thread are the one that insist you must not do anything traditional or chivalrous because it's emasculating and pathetic. There's not much support for the reverse: that you must buy a big ring and make a grand gesture or you're less than a man.

But most of all, congratulations to everyone that finds someone with whom they can find long-term happiness.
 
Ant
2014-02-05 12:24:53 PM

Fafai: Seeing as how marriage clearly benefits women moreso than men, the dropping to one knee thing has to be done away with. Talk about adding insult to injury. Yeah let me just get down on on my knees and BEG for the privilege to give you everything you want at the expense of my own interests.


WTF? If that's truly how you see the world, don't bother getting married, and make damn sure you never have kids!
 
2014-02-05 12:25:47 PM

ThurmanMerman: Fafai: superlawyergirl: if I found the right guy, it wouldn't matter what he did or how he did it, since I would be getting the better end of the deal (in my mind, HE shouldn't think that, of course).

Exactly what I've been trying to demonstrate in the thread, right from the horse's mouth, thanks. I'm saying we need to stop all this pretending and acting--it isn't helping anyone.


Also, we shouldn't let kids believe in Santa Claus, or bother with fireworks on the fourth of July, and who the heck needs to celebrate birthdays?  Plus, love is just an oxytocin reaction in the brain, and religion only exists to stave off peoples' fear of death.

You must be lots of fun at parties



So long as you know in your heart that the idea that your husband actively wanted to get married as much as you is just as ridiculous as the idea of 'Santa Claus' then I'm happy. Of course you'd want to hold onto that illusion. It's hurting you and all women in the long run however.
 
2014-02-05 12:29:29 PM

Bruce Campbell: I pretended to break up with my girlfriend in my proposal, saying how I'd been doing a lot of thinking lately and that I wasn't sure about the relationship, or its direction, anymore, then told her I didn't want her as a girlfriend anymore.


Her misery entertains you? You're a catch.
 
2014-02-05 12:30:12 PM
superlawyergirl:
varmitydog: The former Kate Middleton's famous blue sapphire oval cut engagement ring was the firm favourite of 11 per centof the women polled

Hey, that's the same type of engagement ring I gave my wife, thirty years ago. I was poor and was going to get a cheap ring and my aunt found out about it and made me take it back, giving me the ring my grandfather gave my grandmother when he came back from WWI. Said it was a love gift and it would bring me luck. I lucked out since my wife considers it a treasured family heirloom. /Nice to see that those royal limey f*ckers have the same good taste as my grandpappy.

Blue sapphires stand for trust, loyalty, and fidelity, which sounds more like what you want in a marriage than just "forever." And, according to an article I read, royals used to use them for engagement/wedding rings all the time, back in the day.

Sounds like you and your grandfather have wonderful taste. Congratulations on finding such a wonderful Lady.


What a nice thing to say, thank you. I actually didn't have a whole lot to do with it, my wife had helped my aunt, mom and sister prepare a Thanksgiving dinner and so charmed my aunt in that one meeting that she decided that this was the woman I should marry, and she took it upon herself to make it happen ("Hey aunt Julie, how are you?" "Have you married that girl yet? What's wrong with you, then?"). When I told her I got a ring she drove 200 miles to see it right away, looked at it like it was a turd and proclaimed "this will never do" which made me feel knee high to a grasshopper.

And my aunt was right, of course. Both about the ring and the woman.
 
Ant
2014-02-05 12:31:10 PM

Fafai: This is exactly what I'm talking about. Good for you, Ant. She was the one chasing after marriage, and so you framed it in a way that you were giving her what she was asking for. I like that.


I didn't mean it to sound as if I didn't want to commit. I did. I was just against the whole idea that you had to have your marriage approved by some authority in order to be officially with someone.

I believe it's completely possible to be committed to one person without a ceremony and a piece of paper from the state. The piece of paper from the state does offer some advantages though.
 
2014-02-05 12:32:17 PM

Epic Fap Session: It's also telling that the only judgmental pricks in this thread are the one that insist you must not do anything traditional or chivalrous because it's emasculating and pathetic. There's not much support for the reverse: that you must buy a big ring and make a grand gesture or you're less than a man.


That's not the reverse. Everything you listed here is all in the same 'women are worth more than men by default' camp.

Ant: WTF? If that's truly how you see the world, don't bother getting married, and make damn sure you never have kids!


How about you not tell me what to do? My marriage and my kid are both awesome.
 
2014-02-05 12:32:33 PM
My husband told me he found a ring on the floor of our apartment.

I was about 7 or 8 months pregnant, laying on the floor - half under the bed, trying to rearange things to fit the child into our 700 sq foot one bedroom apartment.

I was instantly pissed - what do you mean you found a ring on the floor ?! That's not mine! So - what other woman has been in our bedroom?!

Still waited another 2 years to get married. Wasn't that important.

Also - when we told my mother in law, she said .. " I hope your sure. You know what judge Judy says - you can't ask for it back after you give it to her. (Yes - I was sitting there and yes - MIL is a sow)

We had been together over 5 years by the time any of this happened, but still..

I have better memories.
 
Ant
2014-02-05 12:33:00 PM

Fafai: This is exactly what I'm talking about. Good for you, Ant. She was the one chasing after marriage, and so you framed it in a way that you were giving her what she was asking for. I like that.

If I seem bitter in this thread it's just because I hate how it's obviously the woman who wants it more, the woman who has more to gain from marriage


Please. I don't want praise from the likes of you. You have a very farked up view of life and love.
 
2014-02-05 12:36:29 PM

Fafai: superlawyergirl: if I found the right guy, it wouldn't matter what he did or how he did it, since I would be getting the better end of the deal (in my mind, HE shouldn't think that, of course).

Exactly what I've been trying to demonstrate in the thread, right from the horse's mouth, thanks. I'm saying we need to stop all this pretending and acting--it isn't helping anyone.


What would you be, if you didn't have a wife?
If your answer was 'a basement dweller', I have to let you know... she's the one doing you a favor.

If your answer was 'A high and mighty bachelor, with my pick of the ladies," then you should be getting a divorce, not hanging around Fark disparaging women, not the honor of being with them.
If you don't think your wife was worth it, you're probably right. :\
 
2014-02-05 12:37:02 PM

varmitydog: I was poor and was going to get a cheap ring and my aunt found out about it and made me take it back, giving me the ring my grandfather gave my grandmother when he came back from WWI. Said it was a love gift and it would bring me luck. I lucked out since my wife considers it a treasured family heirloom.


My grandmother gave me her engagement ring, which was also my great-grandmother's: a big ass solitaire in a broken platinum setting. Then my mom gave me her ring and I used a few tiny diamonds from that and had a new setting made. My girlfriend liked the ring even more after she found out I didn't pay full retail for the ring. She calls her ring "the family jewels." She's a keeper.
 
Ant
2014-02-05 12:38:31 PM

Fafai: How about you not tell me what to do? My marriage and my kid are both awesome.


Maybe you don't mean to come off this way, but your posts have an odor of MRA about them. If that's not you, I apologize.
 
2014-02-05 12:38:48 PM

Ant: Fafai: This is exactly what I'm talking about. Good for you, Ant. She was the one chasing after marriage, and so you framed it in a way that you were giving her what she was asking for. I like that.

If I seem bitter in this thread it's just because I hate how it's obviously the woman who wants it more, the woman who has more to gain from marriage

Please. I don't want praise from the likes of you. You have a very farked up view of life and love.


Please elaborate why what you quoted is farked up. Are you denying women want marriage more than men? Your own wife wanted it more than you did. Also women do benefit more, as they generally report placing a higher value on safety and security in sexual relationships than do men.
 
2014-02-05 12:41:17 PM

tlars699: Fafai: superlawyergirl: if I found the right guy, it wouldn't matter what he did or how he did it, since I would be getting the better end of the deal (in my mind, HE shouldn't think that, of course).

Exactly what I've been trying to demonstrate in the thread, right from the horse's mouth, thanks. I'm saying we need to stop all this pretending and acting--it isn't helping anyone.

What would you be, if you didn't have a wife?
If your answer was 'a basement dweller', I have to let you know... she's the one doing you a favor.

If your answer was 'A high and mighty bachelor, with my pick of the ladies," then you should be getting a divorce, not hanging around Fark disparaging women, not the honor of being with them.
If you don't think your wife was worth it, you're probably right. :\


I've said several times I'm perfectly happy as a married man. Without my 'wife' I'd still be monogamous with the exact same woman. Nothing really would be different except she might be less happy.
 
2014-02-05 12:43:43 PM
Five in five men say they were "deeply disappointed" by their fiance's BJ, with most complaining the coont was too big, the proposal wasn't financial enough and it wasn't done on bended knee before an audience of all her friends.

If only she would do it on bended knees in front of her friends.... you wish.
 
Ant
2014-02-05 12:44:14 PM

Fafai: Are you denying women want marriage more than men?


Yes, I am.

Your own wife wanted it more than you did. Also women do benefit more, as they generally report placing a higher value on safety and security in sexual relationships than do men.

My wife and I both decided that getting married in the eyes of the state was a benefit to both of us. We were already married in all but name before. We'd been living together for 2 years by then.
 
2014-02-05 12:44:53 PM

ThighsofGlory: Her misery entertains you? You're a catch.


Don'tcha know.  About 2 minutes of misery followed by nothing but elation.  She thought it was as funny as I did.  14 years together so far without anything more than the minor argument that is resolved in an hour or two.

Your lacking in sense of humor probably makes you the penultimate party guest.
 
2014-02-05 12:45:00 PM
Fafai:


So long as you know in your heart that the idea that your husband actively wanted to get married as much as you is just as ridiculous as the idea of 'Santa Claus' then I'm happy. Of course you'd want to hold onto that illusion. It's hurting you and all women in the long run however.


You honestly believe that men don't want to get married as much as women do?  And that women are somehow seen as "more special" than men?  That's baffling and sad.  I can't even poke fun at you anymore.  I would feel too guilty.  Unless you're trolling.  If you are, well done.
 
2014-02-05 12:49:02 PM

Fafai: Epic Fap Session: It's also telling that the only judgmental pricks in this thread are the one that insist you must not do anything traditional or chivalrous because it's emasculating and pathetic. There's not much support for the reverse: that you must buy a big ring and make a grand gesture or you're less than a man.

That's not the reverse. Everything you listed here is all in the same 'women are worth more than men by default' camp.

Ant: WTF? If that's truly how you see the world, don't bother getting married, and make damn sure you never have kids!

How about you not tell me what to do? My marriage and my kid are both awesome.


You go on bended knee because she has the baby making prowess, and that is why you honor her.

You want her to have your babies(talk about commitments)? You need to prove your worth to her. That you can provide a good life for the both of you, because here's a completely useless except socially display of wealth.

And a woman's worth (socially/culturally speaking) is automatically derived from the ring, because that's what he bought her commitment with to make babies with him for life; the ring.

You're right, really, it's utter derived nonsense, and for some reason women are supposed to want it this way, even though they are being bribed to make babies.
You are supposed to go on bended knee, but women are worth more than just a ring.

It does not benefit women more to be married. It just makes their social status a bit higher, whereas men get a baby maker(for life) for really absurdly cheap prices.

Seriously. Look at paying someone to be a surrogate mother. You're not even using her eggs, just her womb, and it's 15,000-25,000 for 9 months.
 
2014-02-05 12:55:17 PM

Bruce Campbell: ThighsofGlory: Her misery entertains you? You're a catch.

Don'tcha know.  About 2 minutes of misery followed by nothing but elation.  She thought it was as funny as I did.  14 years together so far without anything more than the minor argument that is resolved in an hour or two.

Your lacking in sense of humor probably makes you the penultimate party guest.


I doubt I'll miss your sparkling repartee.
 
2014-02-05 12:56:28 PM
She asked me. While we were boning.

I said 'sure' and was able to finish. Still married after 18 years.
 
2014-02-05 12:59:44 PM

Fafai: superlawyergirl: if I found the right guy, it wouldn't matter what he did or how he did it, since I would be getting the better end of the deal (in my mind, HE shouldn't think that, of course).

Exactly what I've been trying to demonstrate in the thread, right from the horse's mouth, thanks. I'm saying we need to stop all this pretending and acting--it isn't helping anyone.


Whether I agree with you or not is irrelevant at this point.  You've become such an annoying douchebag about the whole thing.
 
2014-02-05 01:03:51 PM

Fafai: Ant: Fafai: This is exactly what I'm talking about. Good for you, Ant. She was the one chasing after marriage, and so you framed it in a way that you were giving her what she was asking for. I like that.

If I seem bitter in this thread it's just because I hate how it's obviously the woman who wants it more, the woman who has more to gain from marriage

Please. I don't want praise from the likes of you. You have a very farked up view of life and love.

Please elaborate why what you quoted is farked up. Are you denying women want marriage more than men? Your own wife wanted it more than you did. Also women do benefit more, as they generally report placing a higher value on safety and security in sexual relationships than do men.


Wrong. Women don't want marriage more than men. It's just our culture forces that idea upon them, and they are considered abnormal if they admit to the slightest hint of: "Maybe it's not for me."

In reality "safety and security" mean financial stability. And they want that before they have babies, because who doesn't?
The trend shows that people who are (successfully) married tend to have more financial stability in the long run, which benefits both parties.

As for marriage benefitting women more:

Men usually want the benefit of being able to have babies (someday), and getting laid regularly, with a fair amount of predictability and a minimum of effort. Best way to get that done? Get married.
Married men also benefit more healthwise, and happiness wise over time. They get a free cook, maid, and babysitter too, not to mention the additional income if their wife chooses to work as well...

Married women? Well they're more likely to gain weight, and given the prevalence of eating while stressed, I think you see where I'm going with that one.
Married women are also expected to take on much more of a burden for keeping a job, maintaining the household, and raising the kids, so how in the world does marriage benefit them more?

To have two days to show the world that somebody loves them, and have anyone care about it? To have a rock not even worth a tenth of the value of one pregnancy, that might get you by for a month if you pawn it(if the guy was honest)? Yeaaaah big benefits there. I could retire off of that...


/Okay I'll admit I'm trolling you, but seriously? For the longest time women would get farked over, quite literally, when they signed up to be married. That you do a little song and dance to trick them into thinking "My man really cares about me and wants me to be happy" is small change, so stop complaining.
 
2014-02-05 01:05:19 PM

FLMountainMan: ununcle: 3 in 6 men wish they weren't stupid enough to sign the best years of their life over to a selfish gold digging biatch. It's 50/50 guys.  I can't believe men are still falling for this farce.

It sucks that you chose the wrong woman, but statistically, married men are happier, make more money, live longer, have higher education, commit less crime, give more to charity, and vote more.  Yeah, it's a risk, but you're a farking man, when has risk aversion ever been an issue?


That stat could be misleading. The lucky half that don't get raked over the coals and wind up "happier, make more money, live longer, have higher education, commit less crime, give more to charity, and vote more" have the advantage of not losing their home and family. They also don't have to spend several decades of the prime of their life in indentured servitude. They benefit  from not being divorced, not so much being married. I'm curios to know if that poll only included men who were never married (not divorced) because the few I've met are quite happy.
 
2014-02-05 01:08:33 PM

Fafai: Are you denying women want marriage more than men?


What does it matter who wants it more? It's not a contest. If you don't want it, don't ask for it. By asking for it, you are saying that you want it.

Alright, so you want it, you're asking for it, and it's a romantic occasion. Plan something nice. Not (necessarily) something from some movie, something the two of you will enjoy. Whatever "nice" means to the two of you. If the two of you can't agree that the same thing is nice, why are you getting married?

Proposing is a huge deal. The amount of thought and emotional commitment you (should have) put into it is enormous. Spend a few minutes planning how you want to do it. Is that really a gigantic problem?

Being the one to ask does put a bit more pressure on guys, but, if what you say is true and girls always want it more, that's to our advantage. That tradition means that they don't usually ask while they're waiting for us to make up our mind. Oh, they'll hint, they'll suggest, even, but they don't usually ask.
 
2014-02-05 01:12:47 PM

tlars699: You go on bended knee because she has the baby making prowess, and that is why you honor her.


Please. Plenty of people get married with no plans for children. You can either bail out of this argument now or you can double down and risk looking more like the anti-gay marriage crowd. But you're right--regardless of whether an individual woman wants to reproduce, reproductive roles ARE the main reason that these displays are made to show women they're worth more. We should be moving beyond this at some point, no? Or is the black plague still threateneing to kill of humanity for good?

tlars699: You need to prove your worth to her. That you can provide a good life for the both of you


I do this every day through my commitment and my actions, not through showy gestures that ultimately do not guarantee anything other than the continued imbalance between the sexes (I mean that BOTH ways before someone wants to accuse me of being an MRA again).

I love how I'm supposedly the one with the farked up viewpoints here for daring to voice my opinion that an equal partnership for life should probably not start out on an unequal foot simply for tradition's sake.
 
2014-02-05 01:16:06 PM
All said and done, don't buy into the diamond hype. Buy into the romanticism, because it's (hopefully) once in a lifetime event for you. Find a lover you want to be with for ever ever ever ever?

Get a ring. Not an engagement ring, as even the non-diamond versions of those are overpriced.

Think of something funny, sweet, and memorable that suits both of you. You don't want to do it in front of other people, and she might? Meet up with them later after you've asked.

Make sure you would want to be married to her right then and there, and that you'd be willing to wait for her if she asked you to.

Weddings are parties, and should be in your budget. If you can't budget it, get married without one.

If she cares about the ring, and not about you? Just take the ring, and walk away.

If you're worried about the ring/wedding, and not about the lifetime commitment? Don't say yes.

If it takes you more than 2-3 years to sign a piece of paper saying you are willing to be with someone you asked to marry you, it's not about the piece of paper anymore.
 
2014-02-05 01:19:05 PM

Fafai: tlars699: You go on bended knee because she has the baby making prowess, and that is why you honor her.

Please. Plenty of people get married with no plans for children. You can either bail out of this argument now or you can double down and risk looking more like the anti-gay marriage crowd. But you're right--regardless of whether an individual woman wants to reproduce, reproductive roles ARE the main reason that these displays are made to show women they're worth more. We should be moving beyond this at some point, no? Or is the black plague still threateneing to kill of humanity for good?

tlars699: You need to prove your worth to her. That you can provide a good life for the both of you

I do this every day through my commitment and my actions, not through showy gestures that ultimately do not guarantee anything other than the continued imbalance between the sexes (I mean that BOTH ways before someone wants to accuse me of being an MRA again).

I love how I'm supposedly the one with the farked up viewpoints here for daring to voice my opinion that an equal partnership for life should probably not start out on an unequal foot simply for tradition's sake.


He was trolling you, stupid!
 
2014-02-05 01:24:34 PM

ThurmanMerman: You honestly believe that men don't want to get married as much as women do? And that women are somehow seen as "more special" than men?


Yes and yes. Why are you backpedaling? I thought your husband wanted to marry you exactly the same amount you wanted to marry him just as sure as there's no Santa Claus.

tthurstonxhowell: Being the one to ask does put a bit more pressure on guys, but, if what you say is true and girls always want it more, that's to our advantage. That tradition means that they don't usually ask while they're waiting for us to make up our mind. Oh, they'll hint, they'll suggest, even, but they don't usually ask.


How is this to anyone's advantage? Women can't go after what they want, they can only drop hints until the man decides. That's not good for them. And how is constantly hearing less-than-subtle marriage hints advantageous for a man? It's annoying. Wouldn't it be better for the women to just ask? But then the man become the prize/trophy and lord knows we can't have that. It's 'weird' and goes against what we're already used to.
 
2014-02-05 01:25:44 PM

Fafai: tlars699: You go on bended knee because she has the baby making prowess, and that is why you honor her.

Please. Plenty of people get married with no plans for children. You can either bail out of this argument now or you can double down and risk looking more like the anti-gay marriage crowd. But you're right--regardless of whether an individual woman wants to reproduce, reproductive roles ARE the main reason that these displays are made to show women they're worth more. We should be moving beyond this at some point, no? Or is the black plague still threateneing to kill of humanity for good?

tlars699: You need to prove your worth to her. That you can provide a good life for the both of you

I do this every day through my commitment and my actions,
not through showy gestures that ultimately do not guarantee anything other than the continued imbalance between the sexes (I mean that BOTH ways before someone wants to accuse me of being an MRA again).

I love how I'm supposedly the one with the farked up viewpoints here for daring to voice my opinion that an equal partnership for life should probably not start out on an unequal foot simply for tradition's sake.


Actually, I think we're actually for the same thing here.
(I was using the traditional reason for marriage as you were harping against a tradition. I was trying to show what it was there for, and that its not harmful to the dude to do it, and that it is an action that shows his mate that he would be honored. )

It's just that you're taking the "women want it more than men" side, and I'm taking the "men want it more" side.
It's romantic fluff. Really, if you don't want to do it, then who cares? Nobody.
Don't force your opinions on others, or disparage a tradition that you don't agree with; some people like this tradition, because it shows how they feel, and the importance of the moment.

Also, it doesn't start out on unequal footing.
Traditionally speaking: He decides when to get married, and gets down on bended knee, and then later, he carries her through the door. See? Dominant and Subservient all at the same time. Not that I like either, but in it's own twisted way, each position becomes part of a balanced whole.
 
2014-02-05 01:30:57 PM

Fafai: I love how I'm supposedly the one with the farked up viewpoints here for daring to voice my opinion that an equal partnership for life should probably not start out on an unequal foot simply for tradition's sake.


Fafai: Seeing as how marriage clearly benefits women moreso than men, the dropping to one knee thing has to be done away with. Talk about adding insult to injury. Yeah let me just get down on on my knees and BEG for the privilege to give you everything you want at the expense of my own interests. I pity any guy who did that. No way I was going to kneel. I didn't even have a ring when I proposed and I honestly couldn't give less of a fark whether it disappointed her or not.

If you're considering proposing, ask your woman if she thinks the kneeling proposal is romantic. If she finds it romantic, she's totally out of touch with the way the modern world works and you're probably better off dumping her ass. If she says it's dumb, congrats you got a keeper.


Fafai: The bended knee thing is just a farking disgrace. I don't know how any man who did that can ever look himself in the mirror, TBH. Talk about selling yourself short.


Fafai: I hate how it's obviously the woman who wants it more, the woman who has more to gain from marriage, and yet we still play this ridiculous game where the man has to ask and beg for her hand like it's something he wants more than she does, like she could just take it or leave it and is doing him a huge favor by accepting. I am shaking my head at all youi losers who kneeled down. Stop being losers.


Fafai: Are you denying women want marriage more than men? Your own wife wanted it more than you did. Also women do benefit more, as they generally report placing a higher value on safety and security in sexual relationships than do men.


Yes.
 
2014-02-05 01:33:03 PM

Epic Fap Session: Yes.


Why don't you explain why you think those are warped views then instead of just reposting what I said? Anyone can do that.
 
2014-02-05 01:34:41 PM

Fafai: Epic Fap Session: Yes.

Why don't you explain why you think those are warped views then instead of just reposting what I said? Anyone can do that.


Because there's no elaboration needed to demonstrate your jacked up opinions on relationships and marriage.
 
2014-02-05 01:36:44 PM
Fafai:
tthurstonxhowell: Being the one to ask does put a bit more pressure on guys, but, if what you say is true and girls always want it more, that's to our advantage. That tradition means that they don't usually ask while they're waiting for us to make up our mind. Oh, they'll hint, they'll suggest, even, but they don't usually ask.

How is this to anyone's advantage? Women can't go after what they want, they can only drop hints until the man decides. That's not good for them. And how is constantly hearing less-than-subtle marriage hints advantageous for a man? It's annoying. Wouldn't it be better for the women to just ask? But then the man become the prize/trophy and lord knows we can't have that. It's 'weird' and goes against what we're already used to.


Honestly: no trolling, I promise:

1.It's not.
2. Yes, and yes it's not good for them. Oh and traditional things like recipies are suppose dot bring this about too... XP
3. It's not good for them either, and yes- very annoying.
4. Yes, but some men don't want to be prized in this way, which exacerbates 2 and 3, because then she's asking him, and not waiting like some good little girlfriend. She wants stability and predicitibility and the ability to plan for what's ahead? She has to wait until he decides to get off his duff.

So you can see why women get pissed that through all the waiting, and holding back, and keeping our trap shut about the future, the dude puts our cheap-ass-ring in the bottom of a milkshake at Burger King, and expects us to be blown away that he even bothered.

:/

And then guys like you come along and say that we are expected to wait and hem and haw, because commitment is scary to teh mens, and that the Burger King is perfectly acceptable.

Unless I was a hipster, and knew it was done ironically, no.

It's not acceptable for you to demand me to be traditional lady folk, and unhappy with all of the waiting, and you can be whatever the hell you want.

If you're okay with me being un-traditional, and asking about the future whenever I feel uncertain(not often, but happens), then you can propose however you damn please. Or you can just let me do it. I'm coo.
 
2014-02-05 01:45:32 PM

tlars699: And then guys like you come along and say that we are expected to wait and hem and haw, because commitment is scary to teh mens, and that the Burger King is perfectly acceptable.


You're going to have to show me where I said anything that even sounded like this. I don't shy from commitment and am in fact one of the more commitment-minded men I know.

tlars699: It's not acceptable for you to demand me to be traditional lady folk, and unhappy with all of the waiting,


Again, never said that. I want people to be less traditional and move forward. If you're unhappy with waiting around to be married, then ask him to marry you. This is what I'm saying.
 
2014-02-05 01:52:41 PM
1 in 5 women also happens to be a biatchzilla, and the "proposal" is just the boyfriend saying "i give up. i fight no more forever".
 
2014-02-05 01:54:07 PM

Fafai: How is this to anyone's advantage? Women can't go after what they want, they can only drop hints until the man decides. That's not good for them. And how is constantly hearing less-than-subtle marriage hints advantageous for a man? It's annoying. Wouldn't it be better for the women to just ask? But then the man become the prize/trophy and lord knows we can't have that. It's 'weird' and goes against what we're already used to.


It's better because both people want it by the time anyone asks. No one wants to get a "maybe" to that question. Had she asked the moment she wanted it, I would have had to say "maybe". I like to think we'd have survived as a couple, but it would not have been a good day. It was a huge advantage to our relationship that tradition held her back.

Your whole trophy/prize things is such a sick and ridiculous way of looking at it that I can scarcely see how it applies to mentally healthy people living in the modern era. I wanted her to marry me, I got her to marry me. She wanted me to marry her, she got me to marry her. We both got the "prizes" we desired (to use your appalling terminology). If you didn't want her to marry you, you shouldn't have asked her to. If she didn't want to marry you, she shouldn't have said yes. If you asked and she said yes, you both signaled that you got what you wanted.

Of course, this goes back to a restatement of my initial point: If you don't both consider it winning, why are you getting married? If you do both consider it winning, what in the fark are you whining about? You win, she wins, just be happy and enjoy your time together. Plan a romantic day together. If you're not stuck obsessing over who just won your proposal, you'll enjoy it.
 
2014-02-05 01:58:32 PM
I lived with Mrs_Fab for nearly 2 years before I asked The Question. It wasn't a big surprise for her when I did, nor was that lack of surprise a big deal to her. She was genuinely happy about it, and so was I.

I did take her to a nice restaurant with a spectacular view, followed by a horse-drawn carriage ride in the city. I'm at least that romantic, anyway.

/yes, I gave her a diamond ring
//but a tasteful one we could afford
///happily married 25 years now
 
2014-02-05 01:59:17 PM
If 2.5 of 5 weddings end in divorce, then this only covers half of the bitterness. I guess 1 of 5 men are deeply disappointed by their wife for various reasons, leaving the extra 0.5 to blame on the kids.
 
2014-02-05 02:00:33 PM

Fafai: tlars699: And then guys like you come along and say that we are expected to wait and hem and haw, because commitment is scary to teh mens, and that the Burger King is perfectly acceptable.

You're going to have to show me where I said anything that even sounded like this. I don't shy from commitment and am in fact one of the more commitment-minded men I know.

tlars699: It's not acceptable for you to demand me to be traditional lady folk, and unhappy with all of the waiting,

Again, never said that. I want people to be less traditional and move forward. If you're unhappy with waiting around to be married, then ask him to marry you. This is what I'm saying.


1. You didn't want men to be tied to a tradition because proposing was hard enough as it was, and it doesn't help to have an equal marriage start out on unequal footing, but women totally want to be married more than men, and somehow benefit more from it than men do.

2.Personally, I tried to ask in each relationship I've had, because I =/= traditional in the slightest sense.

I was told by each in their own turn that they would prefer to ask, because otherwise it's weird. (Check Bio. I'm a lady. :) )

Finally, on man/round 3 I asked that if I couldn't ask, then was it okay to talk about it every once in a while? Since then we've established that both parties want Yes on their ballot.

I've told him time and again I don't want anything but him and a piece of paper making it official for everyone, but he insists on trying to "plan out" a proposal. (ACK!)
At least I got "How about on Pi day, we make a Pi of Sauron" out of him, or else I'd be driving him batty trying to get some idea.
Since there's been a timeline established, I am completely silent (content and satisfied) on the whole "we should sign a document" topic.
 
2014-02-05 02:00:43 PM
1 in 5 guys only propose to a woman to get her to stop nagging him about it.
 
2014-02-05 02:02:13 PM

thurstonxhowell: If you don't both consider it winning, why are you getting married? If you do both consider it winning, what in the fark are you whining about? You win, she wins, just be happy and enjoy your time together. Plan a romantic day together. If you're not stuck obsessing over who just won your proposal, you'll enjoy it.


I'm a very genuine person. I don't like lying or being untrue to myself or my ideals. Now, I had decided that I want to be with her long term. I have no problem with commitment and had already demonstrated as much. But she wanted to be married. I looked at it and realized we were pretty much already married so sure why not? But is "sure why not?" the magical moment women are after? No. So I had to frame things like I was asking her for something when in fact it was the other way around. It felt like lying, jumping through hoops. I don't regret getting married, but I think it's lame that tradition dictates the man ask.

thurstonxhowell: It was a huge advantage to our relationship that tradition held her back.


Maybe if we move beyond that tradition, women won't NEED holding back. Maybe if they hear enough "no, too soon" then all of this can begin to change and we can all be more realistic about how things are and come to meet in the middle. I'm sick of all these imposed gender roles.
 
2014-02-05 02:11:29 PM

Gig103: If 2.5 of 5 weddings end in divorce, then this only covers half of the bitterness. I guess 1 of 5 men are deeply disappointed by their wife for various reasons, leaving the extra 0.5 to blame on the kids.


Or other tragic items.
Sometimes people get divorced because they lost the baby they had together, and get reminded too frequently to be able to handle that level of grief.
 
2014-02-05 02:13:32 PM
• Diamond ring was too small
• Proposal wasn't romantic enough
• Wasn't done on bended knee
• Before an audience of all her friends


Okay, I did three out of four. And she cried. So I guess I passed?
 
2014-02-05 02:13:37 PM
Articles like this make me love my (common law) wife even more.
 
2014-02-05 02:16:53 PM

tlars699: 2.Personally, I tried to ask in each relationship I've had


LOL! "I tried to ask in every relationship I've had and they all were like 'err uhhh no' and then I negotiated how often I'd be able to pester them about it for the future without them going insane but still I maintain women don't want marriage more than men!"
 
2014-02-05 02:22:52 PM

The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves: She's thinking lobster, I'm thinking Burger King.


N.W.A.

/Not obscure.
//Nice reference though.
 
2014-02-05 02:29:23 PM
"And it seems that modern would-be brides are so desperate to bag their dream engagement ring they are chipping in to the cost themselves."

No, that's not biased at all. You can't win. "I would like to help contribute to this expensive purchase" = "desperate to bag your dream ring".
 
2014-02-05 02:35:49 PM

Fafai: tlars699: 2.Personally, I tried to ask in each relationship I've had

LOL! "I tried to ask in every relationship I've had and they all were like 'err uhhh no' and then I negotiated how often I'd be able to pester them about it for the future without them going insane but still I maintain women don't want marriage more than men!"


One woman wanting marriage does not make a study. I'd say it was about equal betewen the sexes without caving into cultural/peer pressure about it.

I only negotiated for the last one to be able to talk about the future at all, while making it clear I wasn't trying to wheedle anything out of him.
I just wanted to be able to talk about how I felt/what I daydream about without making him feel I am imposing, or that I am nagging at him to propose.
(Thanks to douchebag #2 taking ANYTHING dealing with the future presented conversationally as "OMG! WHY AREN"T WE MARRIED YESTERDAY?!" Seriously, it was football, WoW, or all of a sudden I'm nagging him about marriage. "Could you make us dinner later tonight, since you're home all day?" "STOP ASKING ME TO MARRY YOU, WOMAN!!!")


I also have kids, thanks to douchebag number two(HE INSISTED WE KEEP THEM, AND HOW HE WANTED TO BE WITH ME BECAUSE OF IT>>>_<<<; and I fell for it. Twice. Ugh.), so my financial stability/security/saftey needs are a bit heightened as compared to a normal womanly being, so it's unfair to lump me in as a representative for the rest of the population.

I only asked each of the suited after 1.5 years and after cohabitating with them for over 6 months, essentially after it was established/clear to me that I would be fine spending the rest of my life with them.

Two said no, because they weren't the ones asking.
It fits your scenario of non traditionalism, and I don't see how you find my agreeing with you against said tradition laughable.

I just don't agree with you on the reasons why the tradition should be ignored, and if I didn't have kids, I probably wouldn't ask at all, and not give a flying fark about marriage until I was sure they were ready.

(correction: I never asked number one, but did the good girl waiting bit; NO hinting, wheedling, nothing, mostly because I was content with the here and now. Got signed into a lease together, and then dumped after all other housing options were gone).

If they had asked prior to that, I would have told them I don't know yet, and made them sit on it. :P
 
2014-02-05 02:37:42 PM
I did end up surprising Mrs. Homely, but there were enough good vibes to make me feel safe about doing so.  We were lying in bed in the morning having a conversation, and I steered it to "What could I say to get you to run away from me?"  After a couple of ridiculous suppositions (I run off with a cheerleading squad, decide to get a sex change, etc.), I proposed.  After the initial surprise wore off, she enthusiastically said Yes.  Then we proceeded to have morning happy time...

This was done with no ring (she knows jewelry better than me), but with the understanding that we would pick one out.  She got what she wanted in a ring, while I got to maintain some sanity (and keep the budget from going sky high).  She loves the ring she has, but also understands and agrees that our relationship is far more than a piece of jewelry.

I suppose that each person has their motivations, but if it is all about "stuff", then you're better off to just write out a check and bid them a good day.  If, however, it is all about something you have between you, then no symbol will ever be enough to truly signify the meaning behind it.  As long as we can look into each other's eyes and still feel the same as (or even better than) we did back then, I believe that we'll do just fine.

4 years so far, plus a little over a year with Little Homely, so I can't complain...
 
2014-02-05 02:53:07 PM

costermonger: I owe that guy a beer.


My son-in-law wanted to propose to my daughter at Jazzfest in New Orleans. We live in NorCal. During the trip, as he was going through security (this would be the spring of 2007) he had the ring in his carry-on. This very large female TSA agent found the ring box, lifted it out of his carry-on, and announced at TOP VOLUME "And what IS THIS?"

She opened it, saw what it was, and then quickly glanced at my daughter who (thankfully) was two or three people down the line and had not quite seen what it was. "OH! CUFFLINKS!" the TSA agent said, and stuffed it back into the carry-on.

My SIL, when telling the story, was "That was the closest I ever came to punching a woman."

I still hold no jury would have convicted him.
 
2014-02-05 03:19:15 PM

ThighsofGlory: Bruce Campbell: ThighsofGlory: Her misery entertains you? You're a catch.

Don'tcha know.  About 2 minutes of misery followed by nothing but elation.  She thought it was as funny as I did.  14 years together so far without anything more than the minor argument that is resolved in an hour or two.

Your lacking in sense of humor probably makes you the penultimate party guest.

I doubt I'll miss your sparkling repartee.


I do have a rapist wit.
 
2014-02-05 03:23:57 PM

scottydoesntknow: CSB:

I proposed to my girlfriend at the Astros-Yankees game at the end of last season. Got it on the Jumbotron and everything.

And the funny thing is, prior to meeting her, I always thought those stadium proposals were stupid. The girl almost never seems interested and there's always the possibility of a 'no'.

But she is a die-hard Yankees fan and I knew what the answer would be. I didn't even tell her I had tickets to the game until two weeks prior. I would've waited longer, but we saw a commercial for the game and she let out a huge sigh that she was so sad she couldn't go.

I was more nervous than I have ever been in my life. Had the ring in my left pocket (at one point she sat so close to me while waiting to leave that she sat ON the ring box) and kept nervously looking around the stadium waiting for the bottom of the 5th inning. Luckily she was so excited about seeing the Yankees that I don't think anything would've distracted her.

The best part was her (and my) entire family were also at the game, one section over and about 30 rows up. We had it planned perfectly so she never saw them. After I proposed and she said yes, I pointed to our family and she just went crazy. She thought we were alone at the stadium and was blown away.

Best night of our lives. Here's a video of it on Youtube. It's not set to public, but I figured I might as well share it here to my internet family: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LGToWOZfteI

And guys, if you want to do a proposal at a game, you need to A) make sure she is a BIG fan of a team and get tickets to see that team. And B) MAKE SURE YOU ALREADY KNOW THE ANSWER!

/CSB


I was there and remember that.  That's kind of awesome.  Congratulations.

/yay free tickets
 
2014-02-05 03:33:09 PM

tlars699: Fafai: Epic Fap Session: It's also telling that the only judgmental pricks in this thread are the one that insist you must not do anything traditional or chivalrous because it's emasculating and pathetic. There's not much support for the reverse: that you must buy a big ring and make a grand gesture or you're less than a man.

That's not the reverse. Everything you listed here is all in the same 'women are worth more than men by default' camp.

Ant: WTF? If that's truly how you see the world, don't bother getting married, and make damn sure you never have kids!

How about you not tell me what to do? My marriage and my kid are both awesome.

You go on bended knee because she has the baby making prowess, and that is why you honor her.

You want her to have your babies(talk about commitments)? You need to prove your worth to her. That you can provide a good life for the both of you, because here's a completely useless except socially display of wealth.

And a woman's worth (socially/culturally speaking) is automatically derived from the ring, because that's what he bought her commitment with to make babies with him for life; the ring.

You're right, really, it's utter derived nonsense, and for some reason women are supposed to want it this way, even though they are being bribed to make babies.
You are supposed to go on bended knee, but women are worth more than just a ring.

It does not benefit women more to be married. It just makes their social status a bit higher, whereas men get a baby maker(for life) for really absurdly cheap prices.

Seriously. Look at paying someone to be a surrogate mother. You're not even using her eggs, just her womb, and it's 15,000-25,000 for 9 months.



When you look at the long term cost of a wife  (cars, jewelry, pet projects, etc...) that's really not a bad price, just sayin.  Don't get me wrong, I'm happy with my wife, but women are pretty high maintenance most of the time.  If you can budget for a surrogate I think financially you would be better off in the long run.

I'm just trying to be objective.
 
2014-02-05 03:42:41 PM
"MEN! DON'T TRY TO BE CLEVER! The men in these stories were hapless idiots, but SO ARE YOU! They all tried to be original! To think differently! DO NOT DO THIS! Be unoriginal! Think same-ily! The acceptable romantic gestures are in order! Flowers! Dinner! Presents of something she mentioned ages ago and then forgot about! A proposal should be somewhere nice, with a ring, private enough for her to say no if she wants to! Men only get away with any variation on these in Hollywood movies, and that's because the same person gets to write What He Does and What She Thinks About It! You don't get to do that! So stick to the stuff that works! AND ALWAYS KEEP THE RECEIPT!"
 
2014-02-05 03:56:27 PM

Epic Fap Session: This thread will get much better once the Fark Misogyny Brigade shows up to tell their hard luck stories.


Oh, well nevermind then...


/realized years later, a bullet was dodged
 
2014-02-05 03:57:02 PM
sethen320:

When you look at the long term cost of a wife  (cars, jewelry, pet projects, etc...) that's really not a bad price, just sayin.  Don't get me wrong, I'm happy with my wife, but women are pretty high maintenance most of the time.  If you can budget for a surrogate I think financial ...

Given that we are trending towards women having the higher income in the household, methinks you're not truly being serious.

Then again, at this time of that post, neither really was I.
I was just trolling Falai to show how stupid his comment " (ALL) Women want marriage more than (all) men" was.
 
2014-02-05 04:00:16 PM

tlars699: sethen320:

When you look at the long term cost of a wife  (cars, jewelry, pet projects, etc...) that's really not a bad price, just sayin.  Don't get me wrong, I'm happy with my wife, but women are pretty high maintenance most of the time.  If you can budget for a surrogate I think financial ...

Given that we are trending towards women having the higher income in the household, methinks you're not truly being serious.

Then again, at this time of that post, neither really was I.
I was just trolling Falai to show how stupid his comment " (ALL) Women want marriage more than (all) men" was.


I make a substantially my than my wife, so my view is biased.  It was half-trolling I guess.
 
2014-02-05 04:20:14 PM
tlars699:
I was just trolling Falai to show how stupid his comment " (ALL) Women want marriage more than (all) men" was.

It's not like that. If we could measure units of desire and then total up the desire for marriage and then divide that number into men and women then one of three things would happen:

1. men's desire for marriage would be greater than women's.
2. women desire for marriage would be greater than men's.
3. Men's and women's desire for marriage would be equal.

Mathematically speaking, 3 is highly unlikely to happen given any given topic. So the answer is 1 or 2. My money's on 2. I could be wrong, but I can't find any real studies on this. Feel free to provide some of your own. If I'm wrong I'm wrong. But if I'm wrong I'll still opine that it would be better if gender roles were less rigid and more women felt free to propose to men.

And kudos for doing that, BTW. I was in a rush with my last post and the humor in the discrepancy between your own experiences and your belief in the matter struck me more immediately than giving you props for having the courage to propose. I do mean that. You're cool in my book.
 
2014-02-05 04:28:37 PM
csb:  A friend of mine was goin out with one of our friends for a couple years.  Got a good job with her father at a major gas company around here.  Was building a house with cash as he went.  She was getting anxois and wanted a proposal to know that they were going somewhere.  He takes her out of town with a nice ring in his pocket.  Proposes and all that.  Gets back to town and overhears her biatcing to her friends how the ring was to small and the house is taking to long to get built.  This girl used to be one of our punker friends and I never thought she would buy into the hype and would have been happy not having a house payment.  He kicked her to the curb, told her father to "take this job and shove it" and now builds motorcycles for a living and now with a kick a** redhead.
 
2014-02-05 04:42:19 PM

darkjezter: Proposing to a woman in front of an audience has always seemed like kind of an asshole move to me.  It puts her on the spot and makes her too embarrassed to say no.


This.

But if you're an attention whore (as many women and some men are), it probably seems like an ideal way to make everybody look at you.

Women see shiat in movies and think that's how it's supposed to happen in real life. Because they're stupid (the women who think like this).
 
2014-02-05 04:45:14 PM

tlars699: That you do a little song and dance to trick them into thinking "My man really cares about me and wants me to be happy" is small change, so stop complaining.


Missed this the first time around. I find it sad but telling that you seem to think it impossible for a man to get this message across without resorting to trickery.

/and I'm the one with warped views on love and marriage *rolleyes*
 
2014-02-05 05:14:12 PM
It should be done like skyrim.
 
2014-02-05 05:28:44 PM

thurstonxhowell: Had she asked the moment she wanted it, I would have had to say "maybe".


Yes because why teach people that they don't get what they want by asking for it the very moment it occurs to them that they want it. Who would think that teaching them to wait and weigh the pros and cons of making these serious impulse decisions would be to their benefit?
 
2014-02-05 05:55:14 PM

Fafai: tlars699: That you do a little song and dance to trick them into thinking "My man really cares about me and wants me to be happy" is small change, so stop complaining.

Missed this the first time around. I find it sad but telling that you seem to think it impossible for a man to get this message across without resorting to trickery.

/and I'm the one with warped views on love and marriage *rolleyes*


The entirety of jewelry purchasing is trickery and foolishness imo.

Of course, when I meet the right gal if trinkets please her... Well she'll get all the trinkets I can manage.

And hopefully treat my desires for things non-trinket in the same way
 
2014-02-05 05:59:30 PM
What's more important, the proposal or the man proposing?   I'm not trying to bash women in general, because men can be imbeciles too, but I think some women out there have an overly romantic idea of the proposal/marriage in general.  Whatever happened to the fellow loves you with all his heart and has done the best he knows how to?  If you don't like him, don't marry him.
 
2014-02-05 07:26:17 PM

Gary-L: darkjezter: Proposing to a woman in front of an audience has always seemed like kind of an asshole move to me.  It puts her on the spot and makes her too embarrassed to say no.

I've seen it happen at a local sporting event.  Dude comes out on the ice rink with a swagger while the announcer rambles on, pointing out girlfriend's location in the stands.  The guy drops to one knee in a (barf) symbolic act with one hand outstretched.  She shook her head "No" and bailed.

The spectacle would have been complete had there been a a rendition of "Wahh, wah, wah, waaaahhhhhhh" playing over the PA.


I'd say "yes" just to be a good sport and avoid more of a spectacle, but I wouldn't feel guilty if I had to later tell him I didn't mean it. In fact, I'd probably dump the guy after rudely putting me on the spot like that. Actually, I don't even date marriage minded men anymore as I see no purpose for marriage. But, to each his own.
 
2014-02-05 09:46:19 PM
Is  Fafai really working this hard to rail against the inequity of kneeling for a marriage proposal, a tradition has existed since the time when the women would take the man's name, be expected to not have or drop her career or outside interests to raise children that would also bear only his name, and spend her days as an unpaid house servant who, in some states could legally be physically chastised for disobedience?

Kneeling says nothing about the balance of power in a marriage.  It never has and it still doesn't. That depends on the couple.  I always took it more as an equalizing gesture historically, given the above.  Maybe it's now outdated, like taking your husband's name, but it's been around so long that it's just associated with romance so if you like that kind of thing...meh
 
2014-02-05 10:03:16 PM
Hey men....

Don't marry biatches. Marry someone who loves you for who you are. If she criticizes you for everything you do? Dump her. If she doesn't want you to be with your friends? Dump her. If she tries to be your farking mother and not your spouse? Dump her. If you make an effort to propose to her and she says "meh"? Dump her. Not all women are farking psychos. Some of us actually have level heads on our shoulders. For every crazy broad out there, there's another smart woman that's out there waiting for you. If you date a woman that's a complete crazy psycho broad and you marry her, pardon me if I play the tiniest violin during your divorce.
 
2014-02-05 10:55:44 PM
My "proposal" was "hey we've been together for five years, wanna get married?" while laying in bed before sleep.  Not very romantic.  But you know what was meaningful?  My commitment.

/we've been together for more than half our lives and still going
//or; the majority of our lives have been shared together
 
2014-02-06 06:46:00 AM

tiamet4: Is Fafai really working this hard to rail against the inequity of kneeling for a marriage proposal, a tradition has existed since the time when the women would take the man's name, be expected to not have or drop her career or outside interests to raise children that would also bear only his name, and spend her days as an unpaid house servant who, in some states could legally be physically chastised for disobedience?


But see that's all in the past. My wife didn't take my name or drop her career, I do more of the housework since she works longer hours, and while my boy does have my surname I was open to the idea of changing that tradition as well. I said we could talk about alternatives, like if it's a boy he takes my name or a girl hers, for example, but she wasn't interested in that. ...So why should all those historical trends change but not the other way? Because it's 'associated with romance?' Men probably thought the same thing about complete sexual submission of their women at some point. I'm sure many still do.

But mostly it somes back to sexism and protecting women's supposedly super-fragile sensitivities. The biggest argument I've heard in here is "if women ask, men might say no." Yeah god forbid women don't get exactly what they want the very moment they want it. Then there'd really be hell to pay amirite? Boy those wimmins sure are emotionally volatile. Better to let the man risk rejection or else someone might get a frying pan over the head. This is how we are treating women, like they're children who can't handle not getting their way. Also we're treating men like they are less worthy to join in the union. How romantic.
 
2014-02-06 07:44:40 AM

Fafai: tiamet4: Is Fafai really working this hard to rail against the inequity of kneeling for a marriage proposal, a tradition has existed since the time when the women would take the man's name, be expected to not have or drop her career or outside interests to raise children that would also bear only his name, and spend her days as an unpaid house servant who, in some states could legally be physically chastised for disobedience?

But see that's all in the past. My wife didn't take my name or drop her career, I do more of the housework since she works longer hours, and while my boy does have my surname I was open to the idea of changing that tradition as well. I said we could talk about alternatives, like if it's a boy he takes my name or a girl hers, for example, but she wasn't interested in that. ...So why should all those historical trends change but not the other way? Because it's 'associated with romance?' Men probably thought the same thing about complete sexual submission of their women at some point. I'm sure many still do.

But mostly it somes back to sexism and protecting women's supposedly super-fragile sensitivities. The biggest argument I've heard in here is "if women ask, men might say no." Yeah god forbid women don't get exactly what they want the very moment they want it. Then there'd really be hell to pay amirite? Boy those wimmins sure are emotionally volatile. Better to let the man risk rejection or else someone might get a frying pan over the head. This is how we are treating women, like they're children who can't handle not getting their way. Also we're treating men like they are less worthy to join in the union. How romantic.


I don't buy into any of that.  My husband wanted to get married before I did, although by the time he proposed we both wanted to and had discussed it (which is becoming more and more common than "popping the question"), he got down on one knee because he wanted to (I didn't ask and didn't feel strongly either way).  I didn't take his name because he didn't care and clients knew me by my maiden name.  We both work and I do most of the housework and cooking because I'm the better cook and have the more flexible schedule.  We both make silly romantic gestures to each other without thinking about the implications because we both respect each other. If one person, male or female is demanding the other do something they feel is demeaning "because tradition" and "there's hell to pay" if they don't, there's something wrong with that relationship. However, if you're mature adults you can mix practicality and silly traditions as appropriate to make each other happy and not worry about who's on top.

\It's not like I haven't frequently been on my knees for him before or since the proposal/wedding.
 
2014-02-06 07:59:22 AM

tiamet4: Fafai: tiamet4: Is Fafai really working this hard to rail against the inequity of kneeling for a marriage proposal, a tradition has existed since the time when the women would take the man's name, be expected to not have or drop her career or outside interests to raise children that would also bear only his name, and spend her days as an unpaid house servant who, in some states could legally be physically chastised for disobedience?

But see that's all in the past. My wife didn't take my name or drop her career, I do more of the housework since she works longer hours, and while my boy does have my surname I was open to the idea of changing that tradition as well. I said we could talk about alternatives, like if it's a boy he takes my name or a girl hers, for example, but she wasn't interested in that. ...So why should all those historical trends change but not the other way? Because it's 'associated with romance?' Men probably thought the same thing about complete sexual submission of their women at some point. I'm sure many still do.

But mostly it somes back to sexism and protecting women's supposedly super-fragile sensitivities. The biggest argument I've heard in here is "if women ask, men might say no." Yeah god forbid women don't get exactly what they want the very moment they want it. Then there'd really be hell to pay amirite? Boy those wimmins sure are emotionally volatile. Better to let the man risk rejection or else someone might get a frying pan over the head. This is how we are treating women, like they're children who can't handle not getting their way. Also we're treating men like they are less worthy to join in the union. How romantic.

I don't buy into any of that.  My husband wanted to get married before I did, although by the time he proposed we both wanted to and had discussed it (which is becoming more and more common than "popping the question"), he got down on one knee because he wanted to (I didn't ask and didn't feel strongly either way).  I ...


tiamet4: I don't buy into any of that. My husband wanted to get married before I did, although by the time he proposed we both wanted to and had discussed it (which is becoming more and more common than "popping the question"), he got down on one knee because he wanted to (I didn't ask and didn't feel strongly either way). I didn't take his name because he didn't care and clients knew me by my maiden name. We both work and I do most of the housework and cooking because I'm the better cook and have the more flexible schedule. We both make silly romantic gestures to each other without thinking about the implications because we both respect each other. If one person, male or female is demanding the other do something they feel is demeaning "because tradition" and "there's hell to pay" if they don't, there's something wrong with that relationship. However, if you're mature adults you can mix practicality and silly traditions as appropriate to make each other happy and not worry about who's on top.

\It's not like I haven't frequently been on my knees for him before or since the proposal/wedding.


Kneeling is fine so long as it fits the dynamic of the relationship. It shouldn't be the expected standard when proposing is what I'm saying, especially when it's only expected of one gender and not the other. I'm sure everyone will think that their proposal was unique and personal and that they would have kneeled whether it was tradition or not because they were just expressing themselves genuinely but for how many people can that really be true? If the gesture really was based on the personal relationship and not dictated by tradition, then we'd have more women proposing down on one knee or otherwise.
 
2014-02-06 07:59:29 AM

The Precious: Hey men....

Don't marry biatches. Marry someone who loves you for who you are. If she criticizes you for everything you do? Dump her. If she doesn't want you to be with your friends? Dump her. If she tries to be your farking mother and not your spouse? Dump her. If you make an effort to propose to her and she says "meh"? Dump her.


You forgot about the door test.
 
2014-02-06 08:43:57 AM

apotheosis27: danielscissorhands: [cache.reelz.com image 610x355]

THIS.

/I knew I had you favorited for a reason.


Danke schön, herr apotheosis!
 
2014-02-06 09:01:14 AM
Fafai: The bended knee thing is just a farking disgrace. I don't know how any man who did that can ever look himself in the mirror, TBH. Talk about selling yourself short.

Fafai: If you're considering proposing, ask your woman if she thinks the kneeling proposal is romantic. If she finds it romantic, she's totally out of touch with the way the modern world works and you're probably better off dumping her ass. If she says it's dumb, congrats you got a keeper.

Fafai: Kneeling is fine so long as it fits the dynamic of the relationship.

Someone's meds must have kicked in
 
2014-02-06 09:08:01 AM

Epic Fap Session: Fafai: The bended knee thing is just a farking disgrace. I don't know how any man who did that can ever look himself in the mirror, TBH. Talk about selling yourself short.

Fafai: If you're considering proposing, ask your woman if she thinks the kneeling proposal is romantic. If she finds it romantic, she's totally out of touch with the way the modern world works and you're probably better off dumping her ass. If she says it's dumb, congrats you got a keeper.

Fafai: Kneeling is fine so long as it fits the dynamic of the relationship.

Someone's meds must have kicked in


That dynamic pretty much means the guy accepts that his wife is getting the short end of the stick and is being apologetic about historical trends (instead of, say, working to actually break those trends). If that's you, knock yourself out. But there are a whole whack of other people just doing it because they're 'supposed to.' I look down at either option, but people in the first instance are at least being honest with themselves.
 
2014-02-06 09:11:00 AM
Epic Fap Session:
Fafai: Kneeling is fine so long as it fits the dynamic of the relationship.

The question is how often is that the case? Every single guy will claim so. But if that were true these roles wouldn't be so rigid. So my cynicism here is quite valid.
 
2014-02-06 09:53:47 AM

Fafai: Epic Fap Session:
Fafai: Kneeling is fine so long as it fits the dynamic of the relationship.

The question is how often is that the case? Every single guy will claim so. But if that were true these roles wouldn't be so rigid. So my cynicism here is quite valid.


You're over-thinking it.
 
2014-02-06 11:36:38 AM
Witness99:
You're over-thinking it.

Yeah well someone should probably compensate for all the under-thinking that goes on when people just do shiat because 'that's how it's always been done' without any regard to the larger societal implications.
 
2014-02-06 11:53:58 AM
It's easier to look up a woman's skirt from the knelling position. See? Everybody gets something.
 
2014-02-06 12:18:36 PM
Hey,  Epic Fap Session, when your FARK handle inevitably becomes your reality several years into the marriage I hope you remember this thread and reconsider how you feel about your decision to kneel like a biatch at that fateful, magical moment. Good luck!
 
2014-02-06 12:22:27 PM

Fafai: Hey,  Epic Fap Session, when your FARK handle inevitably becomes your reality several years into the marriage I hope you remember this thread and reconsider how you feel about your decision to kneel like a biatch at that fateful, magical moment. Good luck!


You display symptoms of sociopathy.
 
2014-02-06 03:46:34 PM
I see that British women can be shallow, self-serving biatches too.
 
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