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(UTV (Ireland))   Donkey sanctuary hopes to attract volunteers by offering regular 'donkey cuddles' to everyone who shows up, punches for those who stay more than a week   (u.tv) divider line 58
    More: Sappy, County Antrim, UTV  
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2235 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Feb 2014 at 10:03 AM (45 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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2014-02-05 09:08:03 AM  
All jackass jokes aside, I have had several friends who have adopted donkeys, either surplus farm animals, or BLM adoptees.

For the most part, they were very friendly animals, and took quite well to humans, horses, dogs, cats, chickens and most other domestic animals.
 
2014-02-05 09:08:51 AM  
Shows for those with disposable income.
 
2014-02-05 10:04:23 AM  
Dog food.
 
2014-02-05 10:05:21 AM  
Oh, I went to one of those places when I was in Tijuana. It was ...uh, unique.
 
2014-02-05 10:10:38 AM  
A sanctuary for asses?  I know of a few who should take up residence.
 
2014-02-05 10:13:31 AM  
I'm on the fence as to whether or not I want to GIS "donkey cuddles"
 
2014-02-05 10:14:04 AM  
"Jimmy, the longer you hug that donkey, the happier he seems to...ahhh....Jimmy don't touch that. OK here's a towelette."
 
2014-02-05 10:14:13 AM  
You know, I really didn't know what the term "donkey punch" really meant until just a few minutes ago (thanks again, google, for stealing another little piece of my soul). I always assumed I had a rough idea of what it meant, but I was way off. What the hell is wrong with you people??
 
2014-02-05 10:14:14 AM  
Donkeys are smart and friendly. And cute. I would hug one, and I'm allergic.
 
2014-02-05 10:15:39 AM  

mod3072: You know, I really didn't know what the term "donkey punch" really meant until just a few minutes ago (thanks again, google, for stealing another little piece of my soul). I always assumed I had a rough idea of what it meant, but I was way off. What the hell is wrong with you people??


The internet is what's wrong with us.

What did you think it meant, just out of curiosity?
 
2014-02-05 10:16:37 AM  

mod3072: You know, I really didn't know what the term "donkey punch" really meant until just a few minutes ago (thanks again, google, for stealing another little piece of my soul). I always assumed I had a rough idea of what it meant, but I was way off. What the hell is wrong with you people??


Take a stroll through Encyclopaedia Dramatica someday.  Just make sure you've made your horcruxes before you go.
 
2014-02-05 10:18:22 AM  
What's this politically correct "donkey cuddles" BS? Say what you mean, and grab some ass.
 
2014-02-05 10:19:34 AM  

mod3072: You know, I really didn't know what the term "donkey punch" really meant until just a few minutes ago (thanks again, google, for stealing another little piece of my soul). I always assumed I had a rough idea of what it meant, but I was way off. What the hell is wrong with you people??


Then you may not want to look up jelly donut or blue waffle.

/hint: they're not food items, and the pictures are quite NSFW
 
2014-02-05 10:20:33 AM  

mod3072: You know, I really didn't know what the term "donkey punch" really meant until just a few minutes ago (thanks again, google, for stealing another little piece of my soul). I always assumed I had a rough idea of what it meant, but I was way off. What the hell is wrong with you people??


I'm sorry we've offended your delicate sensibilities.  You know what will make you feel better?  Head over to a Panera Bread Company and ask for their new Blueberry Pumpkin danish.  It's an off menu item, so you'll have to ask for it by name.  Just walk right up to the register and say "I'll have a blumpkin, please."
 
2014-02-05 10:22:52 AM  
What about donkey shows subby!  Donkey shows!!!
 
2014-02-05 10:24:58 AM  

mr_a: All jackass jokes aside, I have had several friends who have adopted donkeys, either surplus farm animals, or BLM adoptees.

For the most part, they were very friendly animals, and took quite well to humans, horses, dogs, cats, chickens and most other domestic animals.


Easy to take care of, also.  Good dispositions.

I know a pony and a burro in Alvin, Texas who are inseparable.  It's pretty comical, actually.

Burros are sweet, and sweet-looking.  Nice animals all around.
www.hdwallpaperstop.com
 
2014-02-05 10:27:02 AM  
I have a donkey. He is like a combination dog and horse. He is equine, but is friendly and craves attention and companionship like a dog. He is also the spokesman for the horses in our pasture. He will alert us to feeding time and when it's time for another roll of hay.
 
2014-02-05 10:27:05 AM  
Donkey punch-line:

"Would you hold my cock and pullet while I scratch my ass?"
 
2014-02-05 10:32:44 AM  

mod3072: You know, I really didn't know what the term "donkey punch" really meant until just a few minutes ago (thanks again, google, for stealing another little piece of my soul). I always assumed I had a rough idea of what it meant, but I was way off. What the hell is wrong with you people??


Ahhhh, got the laugh I been looking for all morning.

Thx for that.
 
2014-02-05 10:33:31 AM  

Stile4aly: mod3072: You know, I really didn't know what the term "donkey punch" really meant until just a few minutes ago (thanks again, google, for stealing another little piece of my soul). I always assumed I had a rough idea of what it meant, but I was way off. What the hell is wrong with you people??

I'm sorry we've offended your delicate sensibilities.  You know what will make you feel better?  Head over to a Panera Bread Company and ask for their new Blueberry Pumpkin danish.  It's an off menu item, so you'll have to ask for it by name.  Just walk right up to the register and say "I'll have a blumpkin, please."


Also, if you are a music lover, a real good value is to get perfectly good but slightly tarnished instruments.  Because of all the moving parts, instruments with slides seem to be affected the most, so they are the most common good values.  Go to your nearest music store and ask for their best rusty trombone
 
2014-02-05 10:40:14 AM  
Kinky Kelly?
 
2014-02-05 10:40:18 AM  

MycroftHolmes: Stile4aly: mod3072: You know, I really didn't know what the term "donkey punch" really meant until just a few minutes ago (thanks again, google, for stealing another little piece of my soul). I always assumed I had a rough idea of what it meant, but I was way off. What the hell is wrong with you people??

I'm sorry we've offended your delicate sensibilities.  You know what will make you feel better?  Head over to a Panera Bread Company and ask for their new Blueberry Pumpkin danish.  It's an off menu item, so you'll have to ask for it by name.  Just walk right up to the register and say "I'll have a blumpkin, please."

Also, if you are a music lover, a real good value is to get perfectly good but slightly tarnished instruments.  Because of all the moving parts, instruments with slides seem to be affected the most, so they are the most common good values.  Go to your nearest music store and ask for their best rusty trombone


Another option would be to take a scenic day trip on a restored steam locomotive.  The coast of Lake Erie is particularly beautiful.  Just head to the station and ask for a Cleveland Steamer.
 
2014-02-05 10:42:00 AM  
And a G-rated matinee on Saturdays.
 
2014-02-05 10:45:12 AM  

FirstNationalBastard: mod3072: You know, I really didn't know what the term "donkey punch" really meant until just a few minutes ago (thanks again, google, for stealing another little piece of my soul). I always assumed I had a rough idea of what it meant, but I was way off. What the hell is wrong with you people??

Then you may not want to look up jelly donut or blue waffle.

/hint: they're not food items, and the pictures are quite NSFW


Lemon Party to help wash it down and then take a bath with Tub Girl...
 
2014-02-05 10:47:29 AM  
My nickname is Donkey so I'm getting a kick out of this thread.
 
2014-02-05 10:49:39 AM  

Mell of a Hess: mr_a: All jackass jokes aside, I have had several friends who have adopted donkeys, either surplus farm animals, or BLM adoptees.

For the most part, they were very friendly animals, and took quite well to humans, horses, dogs, cats, chickens and most other domestic animals.

Easy to take care of, also.  Good dispositions.

I know a pony and a burro in Alvin, Texas who are inseparable.  It's pretty comical, actually.

Burros are sweet, and sweet-looking.  Nice animals all around.
[www.hdwallpaperstop.com image 850x566]


Aren't those mules, though?
 
2014-02-05 10:49:58 AM  

Stile4aly: MycroftHolmes: Stile4aly: mod3072: You know, I really didn't know what the term "donkey punch" really meant until just a few minutes ago (thanks again, google, for stealing another little piece of my soul). I always assumed I had a rough idea of what it meant, but I was way off. What the hell is wrong with you people??

I'm sorry we've offended your delicate sensibilities.  You know what will make you feel better?  Head over to a Panera Bread Company and ask for their new Blueberry Pumpkin danish.  It's an off menu item, so you'll have to ask for it by name.  Just walk right up to the register and say "I'll have a blumpkin, please."

Also, if you are a music lover, a real good value is to get perfectly good but slightly tarnished instruments.  Because of all the moving parts, instruments with slides seem to be affected the most, so they are the most common good values.  Go to your nearest music store and ask for their best rusty trombone

Another option would be to take a scenic day trip on a restored steam locomotive.  The coast of Lake Erie is particularly beautiful.  Just head to the station and ask for a Cleveland Steamer.


I get the distinct impression that you guys are not really trying to help.
 
2014-02-05 10:49:59 AM  

Stile4aly: MycroftHolmes: Stile4aly: mod3072: You know, I really didn't know what the term "donkey punch" really meant until just a few minutes ago (thanks again, google, for stealing another little piece of my soul). I always assumed I had a rough idea of what it meant, but I was way off. What the hell is wrong with you people??

I'm sorry we've offended your delicate sensibilities.  You know what will make you feel better?  Head over to a Panera Bread Company and ask for their new Blueberry Pumpkin danish.  It's an off menu item, so you'll have to ask for it by name.  Just walk right up to the register and say "I'll have a blumpkin, please."

Also, if you are a music lover, a real good value is to get perfectly good but slightly tarnished instruments.  Because of all the moving parts, instruments with slides seem to be affected the most, so they are the most common good values.  Go to your nearest music store and ask for their best rusty trombone

Another option would be to take a scenic day trip on a restored steam locomotive.  The coast of Lake Erie is particularly beautiful.  Just head to the station and ask for a Cleveland Steamer.


In the south, people are known for their hospitality, and women, in particular are known for their ability to cook.  Slow cooked meats over an open fire are a specialty.  A single serving is too much for one person.  You won't be disappointed if you grab a friend and approach the first young lady you see and ask her if she will do a spitroast for the two of you.
 
2014-02-05 10:56:52 AM  

MycroftHolmes: Stile4aly: MycroftHolmes: Stile4aly: mod3072: You know, I really didn't know what the term "donkey punch" really meant until just a few minutes ago (thanks again, google, for stealing another little piece of my soul). I always assumed I had a rough idea of what it meant, but I was way off. What the hell is wrong with you people??

I'm sorry we've offended your delicate sensibilities.  You know what will make you feel better?  Head over to a Panera Bread Company and ask for their new Blueberry Pumpkin danish.  It's an off menu item, so you'll have to ask for it by name.  Just walk right up to the register and say "I'll have a blumpkin, please."

Also, if you are a music lover, a real good value is to get perfectly good but slightly tarnished instruments.  Because of all the moving parts, instruments with slides seem to be affected the most, so they are the most common good values.  Go to your nearest music store and ask for their best rusty trombone

Another option would be to take a scenic day trip on a restored steam locomotive.  The coast of Lake Erie is particularly beautiful.  Just head to the station and ask for a Cleveland Steamer.

In the south, people are known for their hospitality, and women, in particular are known for their ability to cook.  Slow cooked meats over an open fire are a specialty.  A single serving is too much for one person.  You won't be disappointed if you grab a friend and approach the first young lady you see and ask her if she will do a spitroast for the two of you.


And, today, I learned a new one.
/spit roast, eh?
 
2014-02-05 10:59:21 AM  
Perhaps there might be viewings there.  Sort of a 'donkey show' so to speak.
 
2014-02-05 11:04:48 AM  
And Charles Barkley will host the donkey basketball weekends.


/slipping on donkey urine
 
2014-02-05 11:05:13 AM  

mainsail: Mell of a Hess: mr_a: All jackass jokes aside, I have had several friends who have adopted donkeys, either surplus farm animals, or BLM adoptees.

For the most part, they were very friendly animals, and took quite well to humans, horses, dogs, cats, chickens and most other domestic animals.

Easy to take care of, also.  Good dispositions.

I know a pony and a burro in Alvin, Texas who are inseparable.  It's pretty comical, actually.

Burros are sweet, and sweet-looking.  Nice animals all around.
[www.hdwallpaperstop.com image 850x566]

Aren't those mules, though?


Yeah.  It was the quickest, cutest GIS I could find.

Better:
4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-02-05 11:05:22 AM  

mod3072: You know, I really didn't know what the term "donkey punch" really meant until just a few minutes ago (thanks again, google, for stealing another little piece of my soul). I always assumed I had a rough idea of what it meant, but I was way off. What the hell is wrong with you people??


I didn't either and just discovered along with blue waffle....and that's enough internet for today.
 
2014-02-05 11:09:45 AM  

mod3072: You know, I really didn't know what the term "donkey punch" really meant until just a few minutes ago (thanks again, google, for stealing another little piece of my soul). I always assumed I had a rough idea of what it meant, but I was way off. What the hell is wrong with you people??


Nothing is wrong; it's always been this way. The internet just makes it visible.
 
2014-02-05 11:10:13 AM  
bunch of jackasses if you ask me..
 
2014-02-05 11:11:25 AM  

mod3072: Stile4aly: MycroftHolmes: Stile4aly: mod3072: You know, I really didn't know what the term "donkey punch" really meant until just a few minutes ago (thanks again, google, for stealing another little piece of my soul). I always assumed I had a rough idea of what it meant, but I was way off. What the hell is wrong with you people??

I'm sorry we've offended your delicate sensibilities.  You know what will make you feel better?  Head over to a Panera Bread Company and ask for their new Blueberry Pumpkin danish.  It's an off menu item, so you'll have to ask for it by name.  Just walk right up to the register and say "I'll have a blumpkin, please."

Also, if you are a music lover, a real good value is to get perfectly good but slightly tarnished instruments.  Because of all the moving parts, instruments with slides seem to be affected the most, so they are the most common good values.  Go to your nearest music store and ask for their best rusty trombone

Another option would be to take a scenic day trip on a restored steam locomotive.  The coast of Lake Erie is particularly beautiful.  Just head to the station and ask for a Cleveland Steamer.

I get the distinct impression that you guys are not really trying to help.


These suggestions are all super serious.
 
2014-02-05 11:13:05 AM  

Primitive Screwhead: FirstNationalBastard: mod3072: You know, I really didn't know what the term "donkey punch" really meant until just a few minutes ago (thanks again, google, for stealing another little piece of my soul). I always assumed I had a rough idea of what it meant, but I was way off. What the hell is wrong with you people??

Then you may not want to look up jelly donut or blue waffle.

/hint: they're not food items, and the pictures are quite NSFW

Lemon Party to help wash it down and then take a bath with Tub Girl...


He may know what a Donkey Punch is now, but he should never look for a goat, see?
 
2014-02-05 11:16:20 AM  
i141.photobucket.com
 
2014-02-05 11:17:08 AM  

Stile4aly: mod3072: Stile4aly: MycroftHolmes: Stile4aly: mod3072: You know, I really didn't know what the term "donkey punch" really meant until just a few minutes ago (thanks again, google, for stealing another little piece of my soul). I always assumed I had a rough idea of what it meant, but I was way off. What the hell is wrong with you people??

I'm sorry we've offended your delicate sensibilities.  You know what will make you feel better?  Head over to a Panera Bread Company and ask for their new Blueberry Pumpkin danish.  It's an off menu item, so you'll have to ask for it by name.  Just walk right up to the register and say "I'll have a blumpkin, please."

Also, if you are a music lover, a real good value is to get perfectly good but slightly tarnished instruments.  Because of all the moving parts, instruments with slides seem to be affected the most, so they are the most common good values.  Go to your nearest music store and ask for their best rusty trombone

Another option would be to take a scenic day trip on a restored steam locomotive.  The coast of Lake Erie is particularly beautiful.  Just head to the station and ask for a Cleveland Steamer.

I get the distinct impression that you guys are not really trying to help.

These suggestions are all super serious.


One of the books that changed my life was Three Cups of Tea.  It was featured by Oprah and started a movement of community involvement.  One of the most inspirational documentaries was following on the concept of community and sharing.  It is truly life changing and will deliver an inspirational message to all.  Don't wait, go get your family together, and find the documentary '2 girls 1 cup'.  It is available online
 
2014-02-05 11:43:28 AM  
blogs.westword.com
 
2014-02-05 11:51:47 AM  

MycroftHolmes: Stile4aly: MycroftHolmes: Stile4aly: mod3072: You know, I really didn't know what the term "donkey punch" really meant until just a few minutes ago (thanks again, google, for stealing another little piece of my soul). I always assumed I had a rough idea of what it meant, but I was way off. What the hell is wrong with you people??

I'm sorry we've offended your delicate sensibilities.  You know what will make you feel better?  Head over to a Panera Bread Company and ask for their new Blueberry Pumpkin danish.  It's an off menu item, so you'll have to ask for it by name.  Just walk right up to the register and say "I'll have a blumpkin, please."

Also, if you are a music lover, a real good value is to get perfectly good but slightly tarnished instruments.  Because of all the moving parts, instruments with slides seem to be affected the most, so they are the most common good values.  Go to your nearest music store and ask for their best rusty trombone

Another option would be to take a scenic day trip on a restored steam locomotive.  The coast of Lake Erie is particularly beautiful.  Just head to the station and ask for a Cleveland Steamer.

In the south, people are known for their hospitality, and women, in particular are known for their ability to cook.  Slow cooked meats over an open fire are a specialty.  A single serving is too much for one person.  You won't be disappointed if you grab a friend and approach the first young lady you see and ask her if she will do a spitroast for the two of you.


I recommend researching the complex customs associated with meat spinning before approaching a southern lady for a spitroast. One would hate to accidentally give offense.
 
2014-02-05 11:57:50 AM  

trappedspirit: [i141.photobucket.com image 400x300]


There are a couple of comedy classics every boy should watch when they turn 12.
That's one of them.
At the time I thought it was mankind's greatest achievement.


www.eatsleeplivefilm.com
 
2014-02-05 12:06:21 PM  

MycroftHolmes: Stile4aly: mod3072: Stile4aly: MycroftHolmes: Stile4aly: mod3072: You know, I really didn't know what the term "donkey punch" really meant until just a few minutes ago (thanks again, google, for stealing another little piece of my soul). I always assumed I had a rough idea of what it meant, but I was way off. What the hell is wrong with you people??

I'm sorry we've offended your delicate sensibilities.  You know what will make you feel better?  Head over to a Panera Bread Company and ask for their new Blueberry Pumpkin danish.  It's an off menu item, so you'll have to ask for it by name.  Just walk right up to the register and say "I'll have a blumpkin, please."

Also, if you are a music lover, a real good value is to get perfectly good but slightly tarnished instruments.  Because of all the moving parts, instruments with slides seem to be affected the most, so they are the most common good values.  Go to your nearest music store and ask for their best rusty trombone

Another option would be to take a scenic day trip on a restored steam locomotive.  The coast of Lake Erie is particularly beautiful.  Just head to the station and ask for a Cleveland Steamer.

I get the distinct impression that you guys are not really trying to help.

These suggestions are all super serious.

One of the books that changed my life was Three Cups of Tea.  It was featured by Oprah and started a movement of community involvement.  One of the most inspirational documentaries was following on the concept of community and sharing.  It is truly life changing and will deliver an inspirational message to all.  Don't wait, go get your family together, and find the documentary '2 girls 1 cup'.  It is available online


I did find that one quite informative.

One item that also seems to have been forgotten is the work of one of my all-time favorite comedians, Juan Sanchez.  His humor is a tad bawdy, which is how he got the nickname "Dirty", but has always been extremely entertaining.  From what I understand, his appearances are very exclusive, but if a club asks for him to work them into his tour schedule he is generally very accommodating.  So make sure that the next time you visit your local comedy club, ask them to book Dirty Sanchez--you'll be glad you did!
 
2014-02-05 12:15:07 PM  

Primitive Screwhead: trappedspirit: [i141.photobucket.com image 400x300]

There are a couple of comedy classics every boy should watch when they turn 12.
That's one of them.
At the time I thought it was mankind's greatest achievement.


I remember the movie, forget the title.
 
2014-02-05 12:25:27 PM  

mainsail: Primitive Screwhead: trappedspirit: [i141.photobucket.com image 400x300]

There are a couple of comedy classics every boy should watch when they turn 12.
That's one of them.
At the time I thought it was mankind's greatest achievement.

I remember the movie, forget the title.


That would be "Bachelor Party"
 
2014-02-05 12:26:24 PM  
Donkey's can be really cute...

3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-02-05 12:28:04 PM  

mainsail: Primitive Screwhead: trappedspirit: [i141.photobucket.com image 400x300]

There are a couple of comedy classics every boy should watch when they turn 12.
That's one of them.
At the time I thought it was mankind's greatest achievement.

I remember the movie, forget the title.


Bachelor Party (PNSFW)
 
2014-02-05 12:28:27 PM  

czei: Donkey's can be really cute...

[3.bp.blogspot.com image 850x637]


What donkey?
 
2014-02-05 12:29:10 PM  

czei: Donkey's can be really cute...

[3.bp.blogspot.com image 850x637]


There is a donkey in that picture?
 
2014-02-05 12:42:29 PM  

MeSoHomely: MycroftHolmes: Stile4aly: mod3072: Stile4aly: MycroftHolmes: Stile4aly: mod3072: You know, I really didn't know what the term "donkey punch" really meant until just a few minutes ago (thanks again, google, for stealing another little piece of my soul). I always assumed I had a rough idea of what it meant, but I was way off. What the hell is wrong with you people??

I'm sorry we've offended your delicate sensibilities.  You know what will make you feel better?  Head over to a Panera Bread Company and ask for their new Blueberry Pumpkin danish.  It's an off menu item, so you'll have to ask for it by name.  Just walk right up to the register and say "I'll have a blumpkin, please."

Also, if you are a music lover, a real good value is to get perfectly good but slightly tarnished instruments.  Because of all the moving parts, instruments with slides seem to be affected the most, so they are the most common good values.  Go to your nearest music store and ask for their best rusty trombone

Another option would be to take a scenic day trip on a restored steam locomotive.  The coast of Lake Erie is particularly beautiful.  Just head to the station and ask for a Cleveland Steamer.

I get the distinct impression that you guys are not really trying to help.

These suggestions are all super serious.

One of the books that changed my life was Three Cups of Tea.  It was featured by Oprah and started a movement of community involvement.  One of the most inspirational documentaries was following on the concept of community and sharing.  It is truly life changing and will deliver an inspirational message to all.  Don't wait, go get your family together, and find the documentary '2 girls 1 cup'.  It is available online

I did find that one quite informative.

One item that also seems to have been forgotten is the work of one of my all-time favorite comedians, Juan Sanchez.  His humor is a tad bawdy, which is how he got the nickname "Dirty", but has always been extremely entertaining.  From what I understand, his appearances are very exclusive, but if a club asks for him to work them into his tour schedule he is generally very accommodating.  So make sure that the next time you visit your local comedy club, ask them to book Dirty Sanchez--you'll be glad you did!


If you happen to find yourself in the great state of Alaska, you're in for a unique treat. As i'm sure you know, oil drilling is a major industry up there. It generally takes place in very remote areas, so an efficient mode of transport is required to get the oil down to port. Their solution to this problem it to use a vast line of pipes. They can be difficult to find, so just ask the first group of drillers, construction workers or truckers. Tell them that you'd like to experience an Alaskan Pipeline, and they'll help you out.
 
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