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(Jezebel)   You want a toe Jesus? I can get you a toe Jesus... with nail polish   (jezebel.com) divider line 30
    More: Asinine, Jesus Christ, misconceptions  
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3831 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Feb 2014 at 3:07 AM (11 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



30 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-02-04 11:41:22 PM
Paula Osuna was just minding her own business when she fell down the stairs

Riiiiight. "Fell down the stairs". That's the ticket.
 
2014-02-04 11:45:28 PM
That's not Jesus

/it's Frank Zappa
//ya got stinkfoot...
 
2014-02-04 11:56:31 PM
s2.quickmeme.com
 
2014-02-05 12:49:57 AM
Oh you can bet your ass, when I saw that toe, I said "christ".

/I was thinking about the last time I stubbed mine and remembered what it felt like.
 
2014-02-05 12:55:18 AM

kerrigand: Oh you can bet your ass, when I saw that toe, I said "christ".

/I was thinking about the last time I stubbed mine and remembered what it felt like.


You must not have stubbed it very bad

/because I went straight to the top dog
//dammit
 
2014-02-05 03:05:43 AM
What is it with Catholics and their idolatry?
 
2014-02-05 03:09:02 AM
www.executedtoday.com
 
2014-02-05 03:23:14 AM
Sure she's got a Jesus toe, but does she have bowels of compassion?

3.bp.blogspot.com

Wherefore by their poops ye shall know them.
 
2014-02-05 03:24:58 AM

Dahnkster: Sure she's got a Jesus toe, but does she have bowels of compassion?

[3.bp.blogspot.com image 640x500]

Wherefore by their poops ye shall know them.


That explains how Christians take pride in shiatting all over what their messiah said.
 
2014-02-05 03:25:22 AM
Hallelujah! He Is Risen!


img.tfd.com
 
2014-02-05 03:29:54 AM
I had Jesus toe once myself so I can totally believe it.

I got better
 
2014-02-05 03:30:38 AM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: That's not Jesus


roundersandrogues.files.wordpress.com

"Joo said it, mang."
 
2014-02-05 03:34:45 AM
I see two dongs.
 
2014-02-05 03:44:00 AM

HawgWild:


I see I'm not needed here.
 
2014-02-05 03:55:41 AM
Over the years people have reported the face of Jesus on everything imaginable, what if this is actually true, but not the way most think.

Jesus is actually an inter dimensional alien who's trying to alert people to his plight of being stuck in a layer of subspace. He's trying desperately to project a hologram of himself into our reality, but due to dimensional subspace static, his holographic signal is being received by us in the wrong way.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go talk to a potato headed sontarun about a mad man in a little blue box.
 
2014-02-05 04:00:20 AM
One Toe Over the Line, Sweet Jesus...

i.imgur.com
 
2014-02-05 04:04:44 AM

ghambone: I see two dongs.


Two dongs don't make a right.

3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-02-05 04:17:00 AM

Dahnkster: Hallelujah! He Is Risen!


[img.tfd.com image 300x288]


The more I stare at it the less sense it makes and the more hilarious it becomes.
 
2014-02-05 04:26:19 AM
All I have is a corn. But,... I guess I'll worship it.

//oh, mighty Corn, what shoe hath caused you
 
2014-02-05 05:03:29 AM
"Paula Osuna was just minding her own business when she fell down the stairs and totally jacked her foot. "

She cannot walk a flight of steps but I bet she can climb the fark out of trees, can't she?

Goony goo goo!
 
2014-02-05 05:49:40 AM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: kerrigand: Oh you can bet your ass, when I saw that toe, I said "christ".

/I was thinking about the last time I stubbed mine and remembered what it felt like.

You must not have stubbed it very bad

/because I went straight to the top dog
//dammit

I slipped getting out of the shower (like the idiot I am, no bathmat down) slipped backwards against the tub, and caught two toenails under the bottom lip of the vanity. the one did look a lot like jesus on the cross.

 
2014-02-05 06:11:42 AM
Hmmm, I wonder if I could get a shot at inter web fame if I rubbed that dirt on a more controversial body part and claimed to see Jesus on it...

OMG! Jesus is all over my junk! That must mean he's gay! (Westboro heads explode, world rejoices)
 
2014-02-05 06:49:28 AM

Satanus Maximus: Hmmm, I wonder if I could get a shot at inter web fame if I rubbed that dirt on a more controversial body part and claimed to see Jesus on it...

OMG! Jesus is all over my junk! That must mean he's gay! (Westboro heads explode, world rejoices)


uh no....those are genital warts that look like the Virgin Mary.
 
2014-02-05 07:12:18 AM
This is, by far, the best "I found Jesus in x" story I've heard.
 
2014-02-05 07:16:07 AM
Looks like just another bruise to me.  Nobody knows what Yeshua looked like.
 
2014-02-05 07:35:06 AM
Jesus is getting blurrier and blurrier.
 
2014-02-05 07:40:29 AM
F*ckin Sikey, man.
 
2014-02-05 08:27:26 AM

strangeluck: Over the years people have reported the face of Jesus on everything imaginable, what if this is actually true, but not the way most think.

Jesus is actually an inter dimensional alien who's trying to alert people to his plight of being stuck in a layer of subspace. He's trying desperately to project a hologram of himself into our reality, but due to dimensional subspace static, his holographic signal is being received by us in the wrong way.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go talk to a potato headed sontarun about a mad man in a little blue box.


Yes, but satan put him there.. That's why satan is the devil.
 
2014-02-05 12:12:44 PM

Nuclear Monk: Satanus Maximus: Hmmm, I wonder if I could get a shot at inter web fame if I rubbed that dirt on a more controversial body part and claimed to see Jesus on it...

OMG! Jesus is all over my junk! That must mean he's gay! (Westboro heads explode, world rejoices)

uh no....those are genital warts that look like the Virgin Mary.


What'chu staring at, meat gazer?
 
2014-02-05 06:02:46 PM
It's a toelight FFS.
 
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