If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Fox News)   Bad: Mouse infestation. Worse: Rat infestation. Worse: Alligator infestation. Fark: Alligators are protected   (foxnews.com) divider line 79
    More: Scary, ExxonMobil, Mississippi, retention basin, alligators, Mississippi Supreme Court  
•       •       •

5885 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Feb 2014 at 3:07 PM (24 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



79 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2014-02-04 04:30:26 PM

ChrisDe: Much to my surprise, so are bats. At least that's what the guy told me who came to check out my attic.


I had bats in my attic. There were nesting between the vent and the screen on the inside. but the screen had degraded from all the bat shiat and some had gotten loose inside. I said "fark a bunch of this sqeaky nonsense" (the 'attic' is right off my bedroom, through a door). I put on some leather gloves, opened the attic window, and started grabbing bats and tossing them out.
 
2014-02-04 04:30:47 PM

Qatmandu: Shoot.
Shovel.
Shut up.


This.
This right here is the way we do it. Take care of your own problems as much as possible.

As many borrow pits, ponds and retention areas as we've dug...I know there's at least one gator in every wet spot on our spread.
 
2014-02-04 04:32:58 PM

StrikitRich: TV's Vinnie: Just what farking purpose do alligators serve besides as belts and shoes?

Nature's body DisposAll.   Don't you watch Justified?


Tell the state that it's a nuisance having these alligators which are eating human bodies, and please come remove them.
 
2014-02-04 04:39:07 PM
Wildlife that existed prior to human development has trouble "finding its place" outside of said development.... and yet its the fault of the wildlife, and the wildlife should be removed because it is a "nuisance"?

Fark you all
 
2014-02-04 04:46:23 PM

juvandy: Wildlife that existed prior to human development has trouble "finding its place" outside of said development.... and yet its the fault of the wildlife, and the wildlife should be removed because it is a "nuisance"?

Fark you all


What is it like living under the night sky? Foraging for food? Connecting to fark on a modem.
 
2014-02-04 04:46:31 PM

Rapmaster2000: Fissile: A few years ago, some people in Jersey found a timber rattler nest in their backyard.  The state told them, "Protected species.  There is nothing you can do about it.  I would stay out of the yard if I was you."

This is one of those popular yarns about the over-reaching hand of the evil government that isn't true.  You generally can tell because there's no who, where, and when involved in the story.

http://www.nj.gov/dep/fgw/ensp/pdf/end-thrtened/tmbrrattler.pdf

The ENSP has instituted a nuisance venomous snake response program in areas of
the state where timber rattlesnakes live in close proximity to people. Volunteers, under
the authority and supervision by the state, capture and remove nuisance timber
rattlesnakes that find their way into areas inhabited by people. This results in saving
snakes that might normally be destroyed and provides an opportunity for the public to
learn more about the species. These interactions often result in people becoming more
tolerant of the species.

There's a popular one about this "couple" who had a beautiful lake until they were beset upon by Canadian geese and since Canadian geese are protected (they're not) they geese destroyed the beach forever.

A similar yarn told during fire season is about "some guy in California" who was told by the government he could not clear his property of vegetation because of some desert rat, but this true patriot did it anyway and then the neighborhood burned and he was the last man standing because he stood up to the stupid government and their dumb rat.

These stories are popular because the feel right, not because there's any truth to them.


=============

Story is true.  It happened in Oakland, NJ a few years ago.  State animal control people came out and told the home owners that the nest contained young hatchlings and could not be disturbed.  The homeowners were also told that the snakes would probably clear out on their own come spring, and then the nest area could be filled in.  If any adult snakes remained in the yard, animal control would take care of it at that point.
 
2014-02-04 04:52:39 PM
Fissile:

Story is true.  It happened in Oakland, NJ a few years ago.  State animal control people came out and told the home owners that the nest contained young hatchlings and could not be disturbed.  The homeowners were also told that the snakes would probably clear out on their own come spring, and then the nest area cou ...

The requirement says nothing about "hatchlings" being exempt.
 
2014-02-04 04:53:22 PM

MythDragon: ChrisDe: Much to my surprise, so are bats. At least that's what the guy told me who came to check out my attic.

I had bats in my attic. There were nesting between the vent and the screen on the inside. but the screen had degraded from all the bat shiat and some had gotten loose inside. I said "fark a bunch of this sqeaky nonsense" (the 'attic' is right off my bedroom, through a door). I put on some leather gloves, opened the attic window, and started grabbing bats and tossing them out.


I'll get rid of snakes, spiders, mice, etc. Bats are a big "nope". My pest control guy said I only had a few, in extreme cases he has to wear a hazmat suit because the bat guano is highly toxic.
 
2014-02-04 04:53:47 PM

starscream1690: As a resident of Florida (and all that entails) I always find it amusing how people in other parts of the country react to the presence of alligators.  Seriously, every body of water here that's bigger than a pothole is "infested" with gators and only the very stupid people ever get injured by them.  Grow a pair and get over it, they are less harmful that any NYC rat.


Drive 100' on an inch of snow without flipping your car & get back to us.
 
2014-02-04 04:54:16 PM

durbnpoisn: Fissile: A few years ago, some people in Jersey found a timber rattler nest in their backyard.  The state told them, "Protected species.  There is nothing you can do about it.  I would stay out of the yard if I was you."


This reminds me of a story...
My next door neighbor (in NJ) had a skunk take up residence under his shed.  He called animal control because, we've all got kids and pets, and because the thing was generally stinking up the whole neighborhood.  Animal control said, "nothing we can do unless it's injured, or has rabies, or something."

So, what do you do if you have no idea how to get rid of a skunk?  Fortunately, in my neighbor's case, you call your neighbor.
I set up a couple of live traps (essentially a cage with a drop-down door).  Put some cat food in there and waited.  First I caught 2 of my cats (dumbasses).  The next morning, I got the skunk.
Then I borrowed another neighbor's truck, drove it about 10 miles into a really nice park and set it free.

Fortunately, I didn't get sprayed.  And the skunk was pregnant, which I didn't realize until it was running away.  It can be a mother and have babies all it wants.  Just not next door, thank you...
Evolution has done a terrible misservice to the skunk.  They are actualy really cute animals.  But that defense mechanism is WAY overkill.


===============

If you released that skunk on public land, or private property without the owner's permission, you've committed a crime in the state of New Jersey.   If feral animals are causing property damage, or are a danger to humans, pets or livestock, there are only two ways to deal with it in New Jersey:  1) The feral animal in question can be humanely destroyed.  2) The feral animal can be trapped alive and released on PRIVATE property WITH the permission of the property owner.
 
2014-02-04 04:55:12 PM

Devo: What is it like living under the night sky? Foraging for food? Connecting to fark on a modem.


It's pretty awesome living a normal human life AND having wildlife coexisting in the backyard without feeling the need to sterilize your total environment into some humans-only zone.

All of the examples in this thread- gators, snakes, bats, geese, etc.  Had them all in my various yards/houses at some point.  They all come and go and don't bother anything unless you fark with them.
 
2014-02-04 04:57:57 PM

Rapmaster2000: Fissile:

Story is true.  It happened in Oakland, NJ a few years ago.  State animal control people came out and told the home owners that the nest contained young hatchlings and could not be disturbed.  The homeowners were also told that the snakes would probably clear out on their own come spring, and then the nest area cou ...

The requirement says nothing about "hatchlings" being exempt.


The property owners were told that the hatchlings would not survive being moved, so the den could not be distrubed until the snakes were big enough to leave on their own.   The story was originally reported in the local paper, I can not find it online.
 
2014-02-04 04:59:10 PM
They are in farking Mississippi in a county that runs along the river.  Seriously, how could they not expect gators?
 
2014-02-04 04:59:28 PM

juvandy: Devo: What is it like living under the night sky? Foraging for food? Connecting to fark on a modem.

It's pretty awesome living a normal human life AND having wildlife coexisting in the backyard without feeling the need to sterilize your total environment into some humans-only zone.

All of the examples in this thread- gators, snakes, bats, geese, etc.  Had them all in my various yards/houses at some point.  They all come and go and don't bother anything unless you fark with them.


That's because your cat is a murder machine.
 
2014-02-04 05:03:32 PM

Fano: juvandy: Devo: What is it like living under the night sky? Foraging for food? Connecting to fark on a modem.

It's pretty awesome living a normal human life AND having wildlife coexisting in the backyard without feeling the need to sterilize your total environment into some humans-only zone.

All of the examples in this thread- gators, snakes, bats, geese, etc.  Had them all in my various yards/houses at some point.  They all come and go and don't bother anything unless you fark with them.

That's because your cat is a murder machine.


I had a grade school friend whose family owned a cat that killed squirrels all day long just for sport.  If that cat had been just a bit bigger, I imagine it would have killed every person in town within a week or so.
 
2014-02-04 05:15:16 PM

ChrisDe: MythDragon: ChrisDe: Much to my surprise, so are bats. At least that's what the guy told me who came to check out my attic.

I had bats in my attic. There were nesting between the vent and the screen on the inside. but the screen had degraded from all the bat shiat and some had gotten loose inside. I said "fark a bunch of this sqeaky nonsense" (the 'attic' is right off my bedroom, through a door). I put on some leather gloves, opened the attic window, and started grabbing bats and tossing them out.

I'll get rid of snakes, spiders, mice, etc. Bats are a big "nope". My pest control guy said I only had a few, in extreme cases he has to wear a hazmat suit because the bat guano is highly toxic.


Eh. They were pretty cute little bastards. About the size of my palm with wings streched out, if you went from base of thumb to base of pinky.  They tried to bite me, but their little teeth couldn't make it through the gloves. Must have tossed about 20 of them out the window. Just pluck them off the walls, or rafters and *zip* out the window like little leathery frisbees.
 
2014-02-04 05:33:29 PM
Can't read this thread, it's bat country.


/shudders
 
2014-02-04 05:55:48 PM

almandot: How much proof is necessary to kill a protected species and claim self defense?


If no one ever finds the bodies, no claims have to be made.

"Nice boots, belt, briefcase, and hat you got there. They new?"
 
2014-02-04 05:58:07 PM
Fissile, skunks aren't feral. Will is Ferrell, not skunks.
 
2014-02-04 06:04:22 PM

Fissile: Fano: juvandy: Devo: What is it like living under the night sky? Foraging for food? Connecting to fark on a modem.

It's pretty awesome living a normal human life AND having wildlife coexisting in the backyard without feeling the need to sterilize your total environment into some humans-only zone.

All of the examples in this thread- gators, snakes, bats, geese, etc.  Had them all in my various yards/houses at some point.  They all come and go and don't bother anything unless you fark with them.

That's because your cat is a murder machine.

I had a grade school friend whose family owned a cat that killed squirrels all day long just for sport.  If that cat had been just a bit bigger, I imagine it would have killed every person in town within a week or so.


I had a cat that was a squirrel killing machine. Honest to Dog, sometimes 3 or 4 a month that I know of, probably more. He was a big black Tomcat. They say neutered cats are lazy and don't hunt. My ass they don't. His method was simple: Sit in the shade and wait for something to bee-bop by.

I'm pretty sure he too would have killed everyone around had he been a little bigger. He was crabby and nasty. He patrolled the perimeter of the yard and ran off anything that dared step on the property. Even got the big black racer that lived under the deck, and that sucker was fast.
 
2014-02-04 06:07:42 PM

bekaye: Fissile, skunks aren't feral. Will is Ferrell, not skunks.


True, skunks were never domesticated.  I should have said "destructive" or "dangerous" in place of "feral".
 
2014-02-04 06:16:43 PM
"saying the alligators robbed them of enjoyment of their land"

I'd argue the gators are putting it to better use.

Also, odds that they're just trying to increase the value so they can sell?
 
2014-02-04 08:03:52 PM

KidneyStone: I'd love it if the random gator came walking across my yard.  Sure enjoyed it when I lived in Florida.  Now all I see is deer, possum, copperheads and very rarely a black bear.

Well, some kind of big ass hawk just set up shop in my yard so I get to see the occasional kill lately.


I had a farking hawk perch on my balcony railing to eat a kill the other day. Only way I could tell was the bloody mess of bones and feathers the little bastard left behind.
 
2014-02-04 08:15:06 PM
Nothing s daisy cutter can't fix.
 
pla
2014-02-04 10:50:23 PM
TLDR:  "We bought a house near an airport, knowing about the airport.  We demand you stop flying over our house at 6am!"

XOM may well count as one of the single most evil entities in our universe, but I kinda have to side with them on this one.  Yuppy scum who ignore local conditions in the expectation that they can change or sue their way to white-picket-fenced suburban bliss just need to FOAD, no way around it.
 
2014-02-04 11:05:25 PM
I don't know why
she swallowed that fly
Perhaps she'll die...
 
2014-02-04 11:05:36 PM

pla: TLDR:  "We bought a house near an airport, knowing about the airport.  We demand you stop flying over our house at 6am!"

XOM may well count as one of the single most evil entities in our universe, but I kinda have to side with them on this one.  Yuppy scum who ignore local conditions in the expectation that they can change or sue their way to white-picket-fenced suburban bliss just need to FOAD, no way around it.


A friend of mine from an MMORPG had his shooting range closed down by a bunch of outsiders who moved onto adjoining property knowing that the range was there, and then harassed him for a couple of years until he finally sold the land and moved. Seems they didn't realize that guns were loud when they moved in, and this was somehow his fault.

/csb
 
2014-02-05 12:06:50 PM

Fissile: True, skunks were never domesticated.


upload.wikimedia.org
 
2014-02-05 04:07:15 PM

LittleSmitty: Fissile: Fano: juvandy: Devo: What is it like living under the night sky? Foraging for food? Connecting to fark on a modem.

It's pretty awesome living a normal human life AND having wildlife coexisting in the backyard without feeling the need to sterilize your total environment into some humans-only zone.

All of the examples in this thread- gators, snakes, bats, geese, etc.  Had them all in my various yards/houses at some point.  They all come and go and don't bother anything unless you fark with them.

That's because your cat is a murder machine.

I had a grade school friend whose family owned a cat that killed squirrels all day long just for sport.  If that cat had been just a bit bigger, I imagine it would have killed every person in town within a week or so.

I had a cat that was a squirrel killing machine. Honest to Dog, sometimes 3 or 4 a month that I know of, probably more. He was a big black Tomcat. They say neutered cats are lazy and don't hunt. My ass they don't. His method was simple: Sit in the shade and wait for something to bee-bop by.

I'm pretty sure he too would have killed everyone around had he been a little bigger. He was crabby and nasty. He patrolled the perimeter of the yard and ran off anything that dared step on the property. Even got the big black racer that lived under the deck, and that sucker was fast.


Your cat got Dale Earnhardt?
internationalnascarblog.files.wordpress.com
 
Displayed 29 of 79 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report