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(Fox News)   Bad: Mouse infestation. Worse: Rat infestation. Worse: Alligator infestation. Fark: Alligators are protected   (foxnews.com) divider line 79
    More: Scary, ExxonMobil, Mississippi, retention basin, alligators, Mississippi Supreme Court  
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5890 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Feb 2014 at 3:07 PM (36 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-02-04 01:44:27 PM  
Too bad this isn't Florida. I keep rooting for the alligators to take over the state.
 
2014-02-04 03:08:27 PM  
So get some Chinese needle snakes.
 
2014-02-04 03:11:29 PM  
I'd love it if the random gator came walking across my yard.  Sure enjoyed it when I lived in Florida.  Now all I see is deer, possum, copperheads and very rarely a black bear.

Well, some kind of big ass hawk just set up shop in my yard so I get to see the occasional kill lately.
 
2014-02-04 03:13:00 PM  
Get some swamp people in there, they'll handle it. I see them shooting gators in the head every week on the TV.

/Thank God for subtitles
 
2014-02-04 03:13:38 PM  
Diplomatic immunity!
 
2014-02-04 03:15:19 PM  
Generally, it's not a good idea to purchase land next to Some Dude's Petroleum Waste Landfill Inc., regardless of the presence of alligators.
 
2014-02-04 03:15:22 PM  
There should be a rule. If only they had an HOA...
 
2014-02-04 03:20:22 PM  

doubleextra: There should be a rule. If only they had an HOA...


They totally have a House Of Alligators.
 
2014-02-04 03:20:45 PM  
A few years ago, some people in Jersey found a timber rattler nest in their backyard.  The state told them, "Protected species.  There is nothing you can do about it.  I would stay out of the yard if I was you."
 
2014-02-04 03:24:22 PM  
Did he find the hunting dog?
 
2014-02-04 03:24:38 PM  

Fissile: A few years ago, some people in Jersey found a timber rattler nest in their backyard.  The state told them, "Protected species.  There is nothing you can do about it.  I would stay out of the yard if I was you."


Dead snakes tell no tales
 
2014-02-04 03:24:43 PM  

Fissile: A few years ago, some people in Jersey found a timber rattler nest in their backyard.  The state told them, "Protected species.  There is nothing you can do about it.  I would stay out of the yard if I was you."


static1.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2014-02-04 03:27:16 PM  
so are sharks but we still cull them because surfers crying is more annoying than people dying
 
2014-02-04 03:30:17 PM  
How much proof is necessary to kill a protected species and claim self defense?
 
2014-02-04 03:32:02 PM  

Fissile: A few years ago, some people in Jersey found a timber rattler nest in their backyard.  The state told them, "Protected species.  There is nothing you can do about it.  I would stay out of the yard if I was you."


This is one of those popular yarns about the over-reaching hand of the evil government that isn't true.  You generally can tell because there's no who, where, and when involved in the story.

http://www.nj.gov/dep/fgw/ensp/pdf/end-thrtened/tmbrrattler.pdf

The ENSP has instituted a nuisance venomous snake response program in areas of
the state where timber rattlesnakes live in close proximity to people. Volunteers, under
the authority and supervision by the state, capture and remove nuisance timber
rattlesnakes that find their way into areas inhabited by people. This results in saving
snakes that might normally be destroyed and provides an opportunity for the public to
learn more about the species. These interactions often result in people becoming more
tolerant of the species.


There's a popular one about this "couple" who had a beautiful lake until they were beset upon by Canadian geese and since Canadian geese are protected (they're not) they geese destroyed the beach forever.

A similar yarn told during fire season is about "some guy in California" who was told by the government he could not clear his property of vegetation because of some desert rat, but this true patriot did it anyway and then the neighborhood burned and he was the last man standing because he stood up to the stupid government and their dumb rat.

These stories are popular because the feel right, not because there's any truth to them.
 
2014-02-04 03:34:45 PM  

Fissile: A few years ago, some people in Jersey found a timber rattler nest in their backyard.  The state told them, "Protected species.  There is nothing you can do about it.  I would stay out of the yard if I was you."


Better put a concrete cover over that nest, then, so it will be well protected from intruders, wind, rain, oxygen.
 
2014-02-04 03:37:01 PM  

Rapmaster2000: Fissile: A few years ago, some people in Jersey found a timber rattler nest in their backyard.  The state told them, "Protected species.  There is nothing you can do about it.  I would stay out of the yard if I was you."

This is one of those popular yarns about the over-reaching hand of the evil government that isn't true.  You generally can tell because there's no who, where, and when involved in the story.

http://www.nj.gov/dep/fgw/ensp/pdf/end-thrtened/tmbrrattler.pdf

The ENSP has instituted a nuisance venomous snake response program in areas of
the state where timber rattlesnakes live in close proximity to people. Volunteers, under
the authority and supervision by the state, capture and remove nuisance timber
rattlesnakes that find their way into areas inhabited by people. This results in saving
snakes that might normally be destroyed and provides an opportunity for the public to
learn more about the species. These interactions often result in people becoming more
tolerant of the species.

There's a popular one about this "couple" who had a beautiful lake until they were beset upon by Canadian geese and since Canadian geese are protected (they're not) they geese destroyed the beach forever.

A similar yarn told during fire season is about "some guy in California" who was told by the government he could not clear his property of vegetation because of some desert rat, but this true patriot did it anyway and then the neighborhood burned and he was the last man standing because he stood up to the stupid government and their dumb rat.

These stories are popular because the feel right, not because there's any truth to them.


Bullshiat, next you'll tell me that onions don't cure the flu?  I know they work because I had the flu, put out some onions, and in a few days I did not have the flu anymore.
 
2014-02-04 03:37:34 PM  
Attorneys representing the Christmases argue that determining whether the alligators are a nuisance is an issue for a jury.

It'd be kinda funny to see an attorney let a gator loose in the jury box.
 
2014-02-04 03:41:36 PM  
jfivealive:

Bullshiat, next you'll tell me that onions don't cure the flu?  I know they work because I had the flu, put out some onions, and in a few days I did not have the flu anymore.

*googles "onions flu"*

A friend told me that onions absorb germs from the air. She also said that this has been known for centuries and that in medieval times onions protected people against the Black Death.
 
2014-02-04 03:43:24 PM  
So an oil corporation is actually benefiting from a law to protect and endangered animal? This could be a first.
 
2014-02-04 03:44:56 PM  

Rapmaster2000: jfivealive:

Bullshiat, next you'll tell me that onions don't cure the flu?  I know they work because I had the flu, put out some onions, and in a few days I did not have the flu anymore.

*googles "onions flu"*

A friend told me that onions absorb germs from the air. She also said that this has been known for centuries and that in medieval times onions protected people against the Black Death.


See.  Proof.
 
2014-02-04 03:48:27 PM  
 
2014-02-04 03:48:28 PM  
This one time I was at the mall. All I had was a $50 bill and a $2 bill. So I went to Tako Belle for some chips and a  TimberRattlerTM  burrito...
 
2014-02-04 03:50:07 PM  

Rapmaster2000: There's a popular one about this "couple" who had a beautiful lake until they were beset upon by Canadian geese and since Canadian geese are protected (they're not) they geese destroyed the beach forever.


In the U.S., they are protected as migratory waterfowl. Hunting is limited, and you need official approval to disturb nests. So you can urge them away in various ways, particularly if they're not nesting there. One method is jagged fist-sized rocks around a body of water, because that hurts their feet (and goslings), so they prefer to go find another pond (let's hope it has alligators).
 
2014-02-04 03:50:20 PM  
img.fark.net

Enough is enough! I have had it with these monkey fighting gators on this Monday to Friday pond!
 
2014-02-04 03:51:04 PM  

almandot: How much proof is necessary to kill a protected species and claim self defense?


Proof?  Eat the evidence.
 
2014-02-04 03:51:16 PM  

Rapmaster2000: jfivealive:

Bullshiat, next you'll tell me that onions don't cure the flu?  I know they work because I had the flu, put out some onions, and in a few days I did not have the flu anymore.

*googles "onions flu"*

A friend told me that onions absorb germs from the air. She also said that this has been known for centuries and that in medieval times onions protected people against the Black Death.


Well rodents don't like onions and the black plague was caused by rat fleas so there could be some truth to the story but it's not an antiviral or anything
 
2014-02-04 03:56:15 PM  

Barnstormer: Why isn't it legal to shoot one that wanders on your property?

In 1987, the USFWS removed the animal from the endangered species list, as it was considered to be fully recovered.


TFA says that Mississississississississippi protects them.
Elsewhere: "It is illegal and very dangerous for the public to capture and remove or kill an alligator without special permit from the MDWFP."
 
2014-02-04 03:57:20 PM  

Barnstormer: Why isn't it legal to shoot one that wanders on your property?

In 1987, the USFWS removed the animal from the endangered species list, as it was considered to be fully recovered.


If you bothered to read the farking article, you would find out that the alligator is protected under state law, not Federal law.

Also, if you read the farking article, you might have noticed that Fox News misspelled ExxonMobil in it's headline.
 
2014-02-04 03:58:30 PM  
Rapmaster2000:

There's a popular one about this "couple" who had a beautiful lake until they were beset upon by Canadian geese and since Canadian geese are protected (they're not) they geese destroyed the beach forever.

Canadian geese are protected. Every year we have to get a permit to remove them or disturb their nests since they destroy the retention ponds at my work. They're very liberal with the permits and they'll hand them out to just about anybody but the requirement is still there. Interestingly the requirement is that people can't harass the birds, it's totally ok to hire dogs to do the harassing.
 
2014-02-04 04:03:21 PM  

Fissile: A few years ago, some people in Jersey found a timber rattler nest in their backyard.  The state told them, "Protected species.  There is nothing you can do about it.  I would stay out of the yard if I was you."



This reminds me of a story...
My next door neighbor (in NJ) had a skunk take up residence under his shed.  He called animal control because, we've all got kids and pets, and because the thing was generally stinking up the whole neighborhood.  Animal control said, "nothing we can do unless it's injured, or has rabies, or something."

So, what do you do if you have no idea how to get rid of a skunk?  Fortunately, in my neighbor's case, you call your neighbor.
I set up a couple of live traps (essentially a cage with a drop-down door).  Put some cat food in there and waited.  First I caught 2 of my cats (dumbasses).  The next morning, I got the skunk.
Then I borrowed another neighbor's truck, drove it about 10 miles into a really nice park and set it free.

Fortunately, I didn't get sprayed.  And the skunk was pregnant, which I didn't realize until it was running away.  It can be a mother and have babies all it wants.  Just not next door, thank you...
Evolution has done a terrible misservice to the skunk.  They are actualy really cute animals.  But that defense mechanism is WAY overkill.
 
2014-02-04 04:03:25 PM  
So they bought land in the bayou, and are disappointed that there are alligators involved.

I might have a legitimate claim against the guy who sold me a house in north Jersey. I woke up yesterday and the whole property was covered in a most inconvenient form of frozen water.
 
2014-02-04 04:11:12 PM  
I think if my real estate agent said "Hey this used to be a waste dumping facility" the next word out of my mouth would be "Next!"
 
2014-02-04 04:14:18 PM  

Carn: almandot: How much proof is necessary to kill a protected species and claim self defense?

Proof?  Eat the evidence.


Better: serve it to the game warden. He'll hitch his pants up a little, adjust his cock, and belch loudly and compliment you on a good job.
 
2014-02-04 04:15:54 PM  

Rapmaster2000: Fissile: A few years ago, some people in Jersey found a timber rattler nest in their backyard.  The state told them, "Protected species.  There is nothing you can do about it.  I would stay out of the yard if I was you."

This is one of those popular yarns about the over-reaching hand of the evil government that isn't true.  You generally can tell because there's no who, where, and when involved in the story.

http://www.nj.gov/dep/fgw/ensp/pdf/end-thrtened/tmbrrattler.pdf

The ENSP has instituted a nuisance venomous snake response program in areas of
the state where timber rattlesnakes live in close proximity to people. Volunteers, under
the authority and supervision by the state, capture and remove nuisance timber
rattlesnakes that find their way into areas inhabited by people. This results in saving
snakes that might normally be destroyed and provides an opportunity for the public to
learn more about the species. These interactions often result in people becoming more
tolerant of the species.

There's a popular one about this "couple" who had a beautiful lake until they were beset upon by Canadian geese and since Canadian geese are protected (they're not) they geese destroyed the beach forever.

A similar yarn told during fire season is about "some guy in California" who was told by the government he could not clear his property of vegetation because of some desert rat, but this true patriot did it anyway and then the neighborhood burned and he was the last man standing because he stood up to the stupid government and their dumb rat.

These stories are popular because the feel right, not because there's any truth to them.


Ummm, it's Canada Geese, not Canadian Geese. But anyway:

Are Canada Geese protected and can they be hunted?
Yes, Canada Geese are protected under the Migratory Birds Convention Act, 1994 (MBCA). This Act arose from an international treaty -- the Migratory Birds Convention -- between Canada and the United States, signed in 1916. The MBCA provides for the protection and conservation of migratory birds, and prohibits people from harming birds, except under specified conditions. Several species, including Canada geese, are considered game birds and may be hunted. The Act gives the federal government the responsibility to establish hunting seasons, and Canada Geese are greatly appreciated by migratory game bird hunters across the country. More than 500 000 Canada Geese are taken in Canada each year by hunters.
 
2014-02-04 04:17:16 PM  
Shoot.
Shovel.
Shut up.
 
2014-02-04 04:17:38 PM  

Geotpf: Barnstormer: Why isn't it legal to shoot one that wanders on your property?

In 1987, the USFWS removed the animal from the endangered species list, as it was considered to be fully recovered.

If you bothered to read the farking article, you would find out that the alligator is protected under state law, not Federal law.

Also, if you read the farking article, you might have noticed that Fox News misspelled ExxonMobil in it's headline.


Ans also that the alligators were there first, adn these people bought a former hazardous waste site and says that they couldn't get any enjoyment out of it.
 
2014-02-04 04:17:50 PM  

Rapmaster2000: jfivealive:

Bullshiat, next you'll tell me that onions don't cure the flu?  I know they work because I had the flu, put out some onions, and in a few days I did not have the flu anymore.

*googles "onions flu"*

A friend told me that onions absorb germs from the air. She also said that this has been known for centuries and that in medieval times onions protected people against the Black Death.


Your friend?
truthmattersblog.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-02-04 04:19:25 PM  
Just what farking purpose do alligators serve besides as belts and shoes?
 
2014-02-04 04:21:54 PM  
That's just great. She gets dinner and Dixieland and laid. And I get mosquitoes and no beer and... not laid. How could this get any...

static1.wikia.nocookie.net

LET ME FINISH... worse. You ruined it. You ruined the moment.
 
2014-02-04 04:22:09 PM  

TV's Vinnie: Just what farking purpose do alligators serve besides as belts and shoes?


Uh, wrestling opponents?
 
2014-02-04 04:23:48 PM  
Much to my surprise, so are bats. At least that's what the guy told me who came to check out my attic.
 
2014-02-04 04:26:38 PM  

TV's Vinnie: Just what farking purpose do alligators serve besides as belts and shoes?


Entertaining Florida news stories.
 
2014-02-04 04:27:01 PM  
Fark I am disappoint.....

Not one comment about how the Gorillas will die in the winter?
 
2014-02-04 04:27:12 PM  

durbnpoisn: Fissile: A few years ago, some people in Jersey found a timber rattler nest in their backyard.  The state told them, "Protected species.  There is nothing you can do about it.  I would stay out of the yard if I was you."


This reminds me of a story...
My next door neighbor (in NJ) had a skunk take up residence under his shed.  He called animal control because, we've all got kids and pets, and because the thing was generally stinking up the whole neighborhood.  Animal control said, "nothing we can do unless it's injured, or has rabies, or something."

So, what do you do if you have no idea how to get rid of a skunk?  Fortunately, in my neighbor's case, you call your neighbor.
I set up a couple of live traps (essentially a cage with a drop-down door).  Put some cat food in there and waited.  First I caught 2 of my cats (dumbasses).  The next morning, I got the skunk.
Then I borrowed another neighbor's truck, drove it about 10 miles into a really nice park and set it free.

Fortunately, I didn't get sprayed.  And the skunk was pregnant, which I didn't realize until it was running away.  It can be a mother and have babies all it wants.  Just not next door, thank you...
Evolution has done a terrible misservice to the skunk.  They are actualy really cute animals.  But that defense mechanism is WAY overkill.


You baited a trap with cat food, caught cats that you had let outside, and the cats are dumb asses?
 
2014-02-04 04:27:16 PM  

TV's Vinnie: Just what farking purpose do alligators serve besides as belts and shoes?


Nature's body DisposAll.   Don't you watch Justified?
 
2014-02-04 04:28:38 PM  

Fano: So get some Chinese needle snakes.


But aren't the snakes even worse?
 
2014-02-04 04:29:15 PM  
As a resident of Florida (and all that entails) I always find it amusing how people in other parts of the country react to the presence of alligators.  Seriously, every body of water here that's bigger than a pothole is "infested" with gators and only the very stupid people ever get injured by them.  Grow a pair and get over it, they are less harmful that any NYC rat.
 
2014-02-04 04:29:43 PM  
I take it that none of these people have been shown this new technology that is deisgned to keep shiat off your lawn. It is called F.E.N.C.E., i don't know what it stands for but i hear it can be quite effective.
 
2014-02-04 04:30:20 PM  

Obama's Left Nut: Fark I am disappoint.....

Not one comment about how the Gorillas will die in the winter?


The second comment in the thread was a reference to that exchange -- Fano just started earlier in the script.
 
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