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(International Business Times)   Johnny Depp to marry his bisexual fiance on a beach named after his ex-girlfriend   (ibtimes.com) divider line 145
    More: Strange, Johnny Depp, Amber Heard, Bahamas, girlfriend, battles, Celebuzz, Vanessa Paradis, bisexuals  
•       •       •

19252 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Feb 2014 at 11:27 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



145 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-02-04 11:08:25 AM  
Oh, what a lucky man he was.
 
2014-02-04 11:29:02 AM  
I Fark Famous Guys for the Money and Notoriety Beach?
 
2014-02-04 11:31:58 AM  
Amber Heard is the hottest woman out of Hollywood in the last few years. Good Job J.D.
 
2014-02-04 11:36:08 AM  
It's a bit on the nose for him to actually own a Caribbean island. I hope he at least doesn't sail there.
 
2014-02-04 11:36:13 AM  
I expect Johnny Depp to start working a lot more. To pay for the divorce.

Trying to save a woman from her lesbian tendencies is the job for more than just a penis.
 
2014-02-04 11:36:27 AM  
That picture!  You so seldom see Depp, where he doesn't look like a circus clown or a wino, and I don't mean when he's in character.
 
2014-02-04 11:36:48 AM  
Is this not a reasonable place for a wedding????
 
2014-02-04 11:37:22 AM  
Are you not entertained?
 
2014-02-04 11:38:19 AM  
Named after his daughter, subby, not his ex.
 
2014-02-04 11:39:10 AM  
The island is named for his daughter, which makes the whole thing actually more creepy.
 
2014-02-04 11:39:26 AM  
Fiancée.  A fiancé is a dude (although, admittedly, the headline still looks like it could be correct)
 
2014-02-04 11:39:28 AM  
Amber must have a thing for people who wear retro hats.
 
2014-02-04 11:39:43 AM  

Whatthefark: Amber Heard is the hottest woman out of Hollywood in the last few years. Good Job J.D.


This
 
2014-02-04 11:39:45 AM  

TheShavingofOccam123: Trying to save a woman from her lesbian tendencies is the job for more than just a penis.


d22zlbw5ff7yk5.cloudfront.net
 
2014-02-04 11:39:58 AM  
I love his acting and he owns a pretty biatchin car.  But I get the feeling Johnny Depp is a great actor because he completely lacks social abilities.  My guess is that he likes his privacy because he's realized he's a few math lessons away from being Rain Man and doesn't want to be mocked.

You know, like how James Earl Jones carefully crafts each word because of his former speech impediment?  Like that, but with social interaction.  Therefore he 1 - follows the script, 2 - takes his cues on careful observation, 3 - doesn't inject himself into every role.  Like Dennis Leary.
 
2014-02-04 11:40:39 AM  
Meanwhile, I married my wife at a golf course named after the local parks and public space commission.

Rich people are weird.
 
2014-02-04 11:40:42 AM  
Wino forever?
 
2014-02-04 11:40:47 AM  
he's 50, she's 27. and bi? this will be over faster than me sexing up a lady.
 
2014-02-04 11:41:24 AM  
Main Page?
 
2014-02-04 11:41:53 AM  
50 year old rich man marries trophy wife, got it.  Must make for great conversations around the dinner table...

Yeah, I remember that cartoon on Saturday mornings, I used to watch it with my kid!
 
2014-02-04 11:42:40 AM  
DNRTFA but that is the perk of looking like Johnny Depp.
 
2014-02-04 11:42:57 AM  
Well tis is certainly better than dying in a bathroom with a spike in your arm.
 
2014-02-04 11:45:04 AM  
I don't understand, is the headline referring to the beach as a paradise and his ex-gf's last name is Paradis? Because the article says the beach is named after his daughter. Whom I'm assuming is not his ex-girlfriend.
 
2014-02-04 11:46:01 AM  
Nice upgrade.
 
2014-02-04 11:47:23 AM  

ransack.: I don't understand, is the headline referring to the beach as a paradise and his ex-gf's last name is Paradis? Because the article says the beach is named after his daughter. Whom I'm assuming is not his ex-girlfriend.


Is this ANOTHER Woody Allen thread?
 
d23 [TotalFark]
2014-02-04 11:48:04 AM  

Whatthefark: Amber Heard is the hottest woman out of Hollywood in the last few years. Good Job J.D.


wut?

www.scarlettjohansson.org

Heard is probably not anti-Semitic though
 
2014-02-04 11:48:10 AM  

vudukungfu: Oh, what a lucky man he was.


wait, I thought the wedding was in the Bahamas, not on Greg Lake.

face palmer.
 
d23 [TotalFark]
2014-02-04 11:48:48 AM  

TheShavingofOccam123: ransack.: I don't understand, is the headline referring to the beach as a paradise and his ex-gf's last name is Paradis? Because the article says the beach is named after his daughter. Whom I'm assuming is not his ex-girlfriend.

Is this ANOTHER Woody Allen thread?


everything is a Woody Allen thread.
 
2014-02-04 11:49:39 AM  
He paid $3.4 million for that island, that's enough to do 6.8 chicks at the same time.
 
2014-02-04 11:50:30 AM  
She may be lesbian, and half his age, but come on - he's private island rich and world famous.

So, sure, she can fake it long enough for her lawyers to accurately assess his assets....
 
2014-02-04 11:55:17 AM  

GavinTheAlmighty: Meanwhile, I married my wife at a golf course named after the local parks and public space commission.

Rich people are weird.


Best named place ever: Executive Committee Range

/Mountains mind you, not golf.
 
2014-02-04 11:55:18 AM  
Just what every husband must want: A wife who says "not tonight, honey, I'm in the mood for something different".

Does he get to watch? Ooooh sounds fun!
 
2014-02-04 11:58:29 AM  

GavinTheAlmighty: Meanwhile, I married my wife at a golf course named after the local parks and public space commission.

Rich people are weird.


I married my wife at the county courthouse, named for the county.
 
2014-02-04 11:58:55 AM  

Dirtybird971: he's 50, she's 27. and bi? this will be over faster than me sexing up a lady.


No it won't, and here's why:

Johnny Depp is about as open-minded and progressive a guy as you'll find in the Hollywood. He was pals with Hunter S. Thompson. He's tight with Keith Richards. He knows that the world is a strange and terrible place. He's aware of just how weird it can be, and he knows that people must be free to be who they are if they are to find any joy in life. As such, I predict that he will indulge her, plus, and has certainly has the means to do it. If she feels the urge for something, or someone, he will encourage and explore it with her. Because he knows that if he doesn't it will stifle her, foster resentment, and kill the relationship.

There.
 
2014-02-04 11:59:33 AM  
I'd have sex with Amber Heard, if you know what I mean...
 
2014-02-04 12:00:48 PM  

stirfrybry: Just what every husband must want: A wife who says "not tonight, honey, I'm in the mood for something different".

Does he get to watch? Ooooh sounds fun!


images2.wikia.nocookie.net

Wait till the baby is born for all the real fun to start.
 
2014-02-04 12:06:49 PM  

d23: Whatthefark: Amber Heard is the hottest woman out of Hollywood in the last few years. Good Job J.D.

wut?

img.fark.net



ScarJo isn't new. She's been around since the early 90's. Amber's only been around for about 10 years or so.
 
2014-02-04 12:07:02 PM  

AngryJailhouseFistfark: Dirtybird971: he's 50, she's 27. and bi? this will be over faster than me sexing up a lady.

No it won't, and here's why:

Johnny Depp is about as open-minded and progressive a guy as you'll find in the Hollywood. He was pals with Hunter S. Thompson. He's tight with Keith Richards. He knows that the world is a strange and terrible place. He's aware of just how weird it can be, and he knows that people must be free to be who they are if they are to find any joy in life. As such, I predict that he will indulge her, plus, and has certainly has the means to do it. If she feels the urge for something, or someone, he will encourage and explore it with her. Because he knows that if he doesn't it will stifle her, foster resentment, and kill the relationship.

There.


You sound like you've spent a very large amount of time fantasizing about being Johnny Depp's girlfriend.

Or, you're Johnny Depp.

Maybe both.
 
2014-02-04 12:09:10 PM  

TheShavingofOccam123: I expect Johnny Depp to start working a lot more. To pay for the divorce.

Trying to save a woman from her lesbian tendencies is the job for more than just a penis.


www.rainbowshootingrange.com
 
2014-02-04 12:12:07 PM  
Uh, is there not some angle here, it's just a story about Depp getting married?  Cause that's like the 'Not News:' part.  Unless you are the type to DVR entertainment tonight and use the phrase 'holywood celebs'
 
2014-02-04 12:12:39 PM  

cwheelie: vudukungfu: Oh, what a lucky man he was.

wait, I thought the wedding was in the Bahamas, not on Greg Lake.

face palmer.


Emerson bad puns.
 
2014-02-04 12:14:18 PM  

Private_Citizen: She may be lesbian, and half his age, but come on - he's private island rich and world famous.

So, sure, she can fake it long enough for her lawyers to accurately assess his assets....


Like her age compared to him, she is only half lesbian
 
2014-02-04 12:16:44 PM  
Oh, I don't think he'll have any trouble keeping his bisexual lover amused. Haven't you guys seen all the cute little outfits Tim Burton's been tarting him up in over the years? Whatever she's in the mood for, he's got the wardrobe pressed and ready.

/NTTAWWT
//except maybe that Mad Hatter nonsense. Damn, that film was a tough slog to get through.
 
2014-02-04 12:18:21 PM  

SonOfSpam: cwheelie: vudukungfu: Oh, what a lucky man he was.

wait, I thought the wedding was in the Bahamas, not on Greg Lake.

face palmer.

Emerson bad puns.



ELP trifecta complete.
 
2014-02-04 12:18:51 PM  

d23: Whatthefark: Amber Heard is the hottest woman out of Hollywood in the last few years. Good Job J.D.

wut?

[www.scarlettjohansson.org image 500x500]

Heard is probably not anti-Semitic though


You do know Scarlett is Jewish, right?
 
2014-02-04 12:21:41 PM  

ransack.: AngryJailhouseFistfark: Dirtybird971: he's 50, she's 27. and bi? this will be over faster than me sexing up a lady.

No it won't, and here's why:

Johnny Depp is about as open-minded and progressive a guy as you'll find in the Hollywood. He was pals with Hunter S. Thompson. He's tight with Keith Richards. He knows that the world is a strange and terrible place. He's aware of just how weird it can be, and he knows that people must be free to be who they are if they are to find any joy in life. As such, I predict that he will indulge her, plus, and has certainly has the means to do it. If she feels the urge for something, or someone, he will encourage and explore it with her. Because he knows that if he doesn't it will stifle her, foster resentment, and kill the relationship.

There.

You sound like you've spent a very large amount of time fantasizing about being Johnny Depp's girlfriend.

Or, you're Johnny Depp.

Maybe both.


Neither, just a deviant who's learned to stop fighting the urges and accept other deviants and their deviances. It makes life so much more fun. And easier.
 
2014-02-04 12:22:21 PM  

cwheelie: vudukungfu: Oh, what a lucky man he was.

wait, I thought the wedding was in the Bahamas, not on Greg Lake.

face palmer.


img.fark.net
Robert Palmer
 
2014-02-04 12:23:16 PM  
Wow, she's quite the hottie. I'm sure its love, not that the guy has his own island, and is millionaire x10.

/amirite? Love...lasts as long as the cash doesn't run out.
 
2014-02-04 12:25:09 PM  

Dirtybird971: he's 50, she's 27. and bi? this will be over faster than me sexing up a lady.


Nah, it could work out great:  "Any time you get bored honey, feel free to invite some girlfriends over."
 
2014-02-04 12:27:10 PM  

AngryJailhouseFistfark

Smartest
Funniest
2014-02-04 12:21:41 PM
ransack.: AngryJailhouseFistfark: Dirtybird971: he's 50, she's 27. and bi? this will be over faster than me sexing up a lady.

No it won't, and here's why:

Johnny Depp is about as open-minded and progressive a guy as you'll find in the Hollywood. He was pals with Hunter S. Thompson. He's tight with Keith Richards. He knows that the world is a strange and terrible place. He's aware of just how weird it can be, and he knows that people must be free to be who they are if they are to find any joy in life. As such, I predict that he will indulge her, plus, and has certainly has the means to do it. If she feels the urge for something, or someone, he will encourage and explore it with her. Because he knows that if he doesn't it will stifle her, foster resentment, and kill the relationship.

There.

You sound like you've spent a very large amount of time fantasizing about being Johnny Depp's girlfriend.

Or, you're Johnny Depp.

Maybe both.


Neither, just a deviant who's learned to stop fighting the urges and accept other deviants and their deviances. It makes life so much more fun. And easier.


while some parts of what you wrote seems true, I don't know how you could possibly know what is in her heart. You completely cut out Ms. Heard from the equation. It's entirely possible this is a marriage "made in Hollywood" like all women who marry Tom cruise.
 
2014-02-04 12:36:02 PM  

TheShavingofOccam123: I expect Johnny Depp to start working a lot more. To pay for the divorce.

Trying to save a woman from her lesbian tendencies is the job for more than just a penis.


So, two penises?
 
2014-02-04 12:36:10 PM  

Diana: Named after his daughter, subby, not his ex.


Subby was confused by the Woody Allen thread.
 
2014-02-04 12:36:36 PM  
Dirtybird971: ...I don't know how you could possibly know what is in her heart.

See, that's the best part about what was said. He doesn't  have to know what's going through Heard's mind, because whatever  is going through it is  okay. This is what's called "acceptance", and by doing so it's  all about her even though she was not addressed directly.

Could it be "made in Hollywood"? Maybe, but on the other hand  as you yourself just pointed out Depp is fifty years old and no stranger to Hollywood, and  probably knows how to watch out for, and take care of, himself. So, instead of throw stones from afar, let them do what they're going to do and get over it.

This is what people who are progressive, egalitarian, and ultimately accepting of others' lifestyles (within reason) do.
 
2014-02-04 12:38:09 PM  

Dirtybird971: AngryJailhouseFistfark

Smartest
Funniest
2014-02-04 12:21:41 PM
ransack.: AngryJailhouseFistfark: Dirtybird971: he's 50, she's 27. and bi? this will be over faster than me sexing up a lady.

No it won't, and here's why:

Johnny Depp is about as open-minded and progressive a guy as you'll find in the Hollywood. He was pals with Hunter S. Thompson. He's tight with Keith Richards. He knows that the world is a strange and terrible place. He's aware of just how weird it can be, and he knows that people must be free to be who they are if they are to find any joy in life. As such, I predict that he will indulge her, plus, and has certainly has the means to do it. If she feels the urge for something, or someone, he will encourage and explore it with her. Because he knows that if he doesn't it will stifle her, foster resentment, and kill the relationship.

There.

You sound like you've spent a very large amount of time fantasizing about being Johnny Depp's girlfriend.

Or, you're Johnny Depp.

Maybe both.


Neither, just a deviant who's learned to stop fighting the urges and accept other deviants and their deviances. It makes life so much more fun. And easier.

while some parts of what you wrote seems true, I don't know how you could possibly know what is in her heart. You completely cut out Ms. Heard from the equation. It's entirely possible this is a marriage "made in Hollywood" like all women who marry Tom cruise.


You're absolutely correct. As a Long-Standing Member of the Patriarchy I'll admit that I did approach this question from the phallocentric cis-gendered position of one on a mission to expand and explore only the exits, not the motivations. Likewise, as someone near Depp's age I immediately associated with his point of view, albeit speculative, that, and we both have a penis. I considered it, also, from having known older, successful men who took younger, "trophy" wives in which there was affection, even shared lust between them, but as they aged, his priorities turned to the Three R's: Rest, Retirement investments,  and Regularity. Meanwhile her interests remained in exploring her sexuality, social recreations, and the like. Too often the husband in these situations will attempt to rein in the wife's interests, thus creating a situation described in The Eagle's "Lyin' Eyes".

It may very well be that she's a gold digger, looking only to capitalize on his wealth and connections in the Motion Picture Industry, and leave him broken hearted, off chasing her professional goals on her own, thus fulfilling The Prophecy.

And you invoked the Tom Cruise Beards. Perhaps this is a merkin for her? I don't know what's the female equivalent? In order to keep her a viable Romantic Female Lead in a predominantly Hetero-Sexural Motion Picture Marketplace it is necessary to have her Enjoined in Conjugal Bliss with the Johnny Depp.

I am Reconsidered, and better for it!
 
2014-02-04 12:38:54 PM  

MeSoHomely: cwheelie: vudukungfu: Oh, what a lucky man he was.

wait, I thought the wedding was in the Bahamas, not on Greg Lake.

face palmer.

[img.fark.net image 276x183]
Robert Palmer


31.media.tumblr.com
Leland Palmer.
 
2014-02-04 12:40:25 PM  

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: d23: Whatthefark: Amber Heard is the hottest woman out of Hollywood in the last few years. Good Job J.D.

wut?

img.fark.net

Heard is probably not anti-Semitic though

You do know Scarlett is Jewish, right?


Good, someone else said it.  It's still an excuse to keep posting pictures of her.

/She said something horrible and everyone forgot she's Jewish for a week.
 
2014-02-04 12:43:32 PM  

SonOfSpam: cwheelie: vudukungfu: Oh, what a lucky man he was.

wait, I thought the wedding was in the Bahamas, not on Greg Lake.

face palmer.

Emerson bad puns.


I knew where this was going... From the Beginning.
 
2014-02-04 12:43:55 PM  

AngryJailhouseFistfark

Smartest
Funniest
2014-02-04 12:38:09 PM
Dirtybird971: AngryJailhouseFistfark

Smartest
Funniest
2014-02-04 12:21:41 PM
ransack.: AngryJailhouseFistfark: Dirtybird971: he's 50, she's 27. and bi? this will be over faster than me sexing up a lady.

No it won't, and here's why:

Johnny Depp is about as open-minded and progressive a guy as you'll find in the Hollywood. He was pals with Hunter S. Thompson. He's tight with Keith Richards. He knows that the world is a strange and terrible place. He's aware of just how weird it can be, and he knows that people must be free to be who they are if they are to find any joy in life. As such, I predict that he will indulge her, plus, and has certainly has the means to do it. If she feels the urge for something, or someone, he will encourage and explore it with her. Because he knows that if he doesn't it will stifle her, foster resentment, and kill the relationship.

There.

You sound like you've spent a very large amount of time fantasizing about being Johnny Depp's girlfriend.

Or, you're Johnny Depp.

Maybe both.


Neither, just a deviant who's learned to stop fighting the urges and accept other deviants and their deviances. It makes life so much more fun. And easier.

while some parts of what you wrote seems true, I don't know how you could possibly know what is in her heart. You completely cut out Ms. Heard from the equation. It's entirely possible this is a marriage "made in Hollywood" like all women who marry Tom cruise.


You're absolutely correct. As a Long-Standing Member of the Patriarchy I'll admit that I did approach this question from the phallocentric cis-gendered position of one on a mission to expand and explore only the exits, not the motivations. Likewise, as someone near Depp's age I immediately associated with his point of view, albeit speculative, that, and we both have a penis. I considered it, also, from having known older, successful men who took younger, "trophy" wives in which there was affection, even shared lust between them, but as they aged, his priorities turned to the Three R's: Rest, Retirement investments, and Regularity. Meanwhile her interests remained in exploring her sexuality, social recreations, and the like. Too often the husband in these situations will attempt to rein in the wife's interests, thus creating a situation described in The Eagle's "Lyin' Eyes".

It may very well be that she's a gold digger, looking only to capitalize on his wealth and connections in the Motion Picture Industry, and leave him broken hearted, off chasing her professional goals on her own, thus fulfilling The Prophecy.

And you invoked the Tom Cruise Beards. Perhaps this is a merkin for her? I don't know what's the female equivalent? In order to keep her a viable Romantic Female Lead in a predominantly Hetero-Sexural Motion Picture Marketplace it is necessary to have her Enjoined in Conjugal Bliss with the Johnny Depp.

I am Reconsidered, and better for it!


that is exactly what I was thinking! :)
 
2014-02-04 12:45:29 PM  

porcupine tree: SonOfSpam: cwheelie: vudukungfu: Oh, what a lucky man he was.

wait, I thought the wedding was in the Bahamas, not on Greg Lake.

face palmer.

Emerson bad puns.

I knew where this was going... From the Beginning.


Still, you turn me on.

Welcome back my friends to the pun thread that never ends...
 
2014-02-04 12:47:12 PM  

Ninja Otter: porcupine tree: SonOfSpam: cwheelie: vudukungfu: Oh, what a lucky man he was.

wait, I thought the wedding was in the Bahamas, not on Greg Lake.

face palmer.

Emerson bad puns.

I knew where this was going... From the Beginning.

Still, you turn me on.

Welcome back my friends to the pun thread that never ends...


I'm just surprised it Tarkus this long!
 
2014-02-04 12:47:23 PM  
that bosnian sniper [TotalFark]

Smartest
Funniest
2014-02-04 12:36:36 PM
Dirtybird971: ...I don't know how you could possibly know what is in her heart.

See, that's the best part about what was said. He doesn't have to know what's going through Heard's mind, because whatever is going through it is okay. This is what's called "acceptance", and by doing so it's all about her even though she was not addressed directly.

Could it be "made in Hollywood"? Maybe, but on the other hand as you yourself just pointed out Depp is fifty years old and no stranger to Hollywood, and probably knows how to watch out for, and take care of, himself. So, instead of throw stones from afar, let them do what they're going to do and get over it.

This is what people who are progressive, egalitarian, and ultimately accepting of others' lifestyles (within reason) do
.


how would you know? I mean, you intimate that YOU are progressive and accepting yet you readily rebuke and disavow what I wrote..that doesn't seem to accepting. Sounds more like a 20 something feigning enlightenment.

stone thrower.
 
2014-02-04 12:48:25 PM  

snowybunting: SonOfSpam: cwheelie: vudukungfu: Oh, what a lucky man he was.

wait, I thought the wedding was in the Bahamas, not on Greg Lake.

face palmer.

Emerson bad puns.


ELP trifecta complete.


What an ELP LP trifecta may look like:
coolalbumreview.com
 
2014-02-04 12:49:38 PM  
All that AND he gets to work with Helena Bonham Carter? Fark...my...life...
 
2014-02-04 12:52:49 PM  

mike_d85: Abe Vigoda's Ghost: d23: Whatthefark: Amber Heard is the hottest woman out of Hollywood in the last few years. Good Job J.D.

wut?

[img.fark.net image 500x500]

Heard is probably not anti-Semitic though

You do know Scarlett is Jewish, right?

Good, someone else said it.  It's still an excuse to keep posting pictures of her.

/She said something horrible and everyone forgot she's Jewish for a week.


Ok, so what did she say that was so horrible and anti-semetic? The Google was of no help in the matter. I know she's got that Soda Stream thing, but there was nothing anti-semetic there.
 
2014-02-04 12:53:16 PM  

d23: Whatthefark: Amber Heard is the hottest woman out of Hollywood in the last few years. Good Job J.D.

wut?

[www.scarlettjohansson.org image 500x500]

Heard is probably not anti-Semitic though


Besides the rack and DSLs, she's pretty meh.

/Would still do her though.
 
2014-02-04 01:04:55 PM  

Dirtybird971: how would you know? I mean, you intimate that YOU are progressive and accepting yet you readily rebuke and disavow what I wrote..that doesn't seem to accepting. Sounds more like a 20 something feigning enlightenment.

stone thrower.


Is this the "you're the real racist for calling me out on my racism" for entertainment threads?
 
2014-02-04 01:09:54 PM  
A 50 yr old guy marrying a 27 yr old hottie bisexual an island he owns named after his daughter he had with another uber hottie?

I don't know about you subby but to me that is the mark of a very successful and accomplished man.
 
2014-02-04 01:16:51 PM  
Whar amber heard pics, whar? Is this fark?

/is that you, John Wayne?
 
2014-02-04 01:16:59 PM  

Sin_City_Superhero: d23: ScarJo isn't new. She's been around since the early 90's. Amber's only been around for about 10 years or so.


well, since she was born in 84 and you found her to be a sex symbol since the early 90's, um, would you like to have a seat over there?

/scarjo is only 2 yrs older than Heard
 
2014-02-04 01:18:01 PM  

weemonkey: MeSoHomely: cwheelie: vudukungfu: Oh, what a lucky man he was.

wait, I thought the wedding was in the Bahamas, not on Greg Lake.

face palmer.

[img.fark.net image 276x183]
Robert Palmer

[31.media.tumblr.com image 500x374]
Leland Palmer.


img.fark.net
Arnold Palmer?
 
2014-02-04 01:20:11 PM  
I'm with Winona Ryder on this subject: The guy traded the mother of his kids for a younger model, and he wasn't entirely diplomatic about it. While that may seem like "success" to some people, I think ditching the mother of your kids for a woman half your age shows a certain level of immaturity. In short, Depp's probably going through a mid-life crisis.

And while I'd admit it's nice to know that one of the more attractive and desired men in America is going through a midlife crisis just like anyone else his age might, it's unfortunate he did it in a situation where kids were involved.

On the other hand, if he and the child-bride are happy, then that's good. If his ex isn't entirely bitter, that's good, too. If his kids are OK with it, that's probably acceptable (though they probably shouldn't have to be put through it, anyway).

However, I hope Amber Heard realizes that she'll be 41 some day, too.
 
2014-02-04 01:22:41 PM  
I shouldn't have to tell you people what this thread is lacking.
 
2014-02-04 01:23:51 PM  

Whatthefark: Amber Heard is the hottest woman out of Hollywood in the last few years. Good Job J.D.


So much this. I would love to roll around the bed w/ her and Scarlett Johansson and give my husband all the dirty details later :)

Amber Heard was great in Mandy Lane and I loved her in the episode of Criminal Minds opposite Spencer Reid. She's gorgeous, but at the same time she's got that vibe where you just know she could toss back shots with the best of them.

I like Johnny Depp. Not all of his movies are gems, but he totally owns his quirkiness. You gotta admire that.
 
2014-02-04 01:24:23 PM  
Holy crap, your own private 45 acre beach for $3.6 mil? That is a great farking deal.
 
2014-02-04 01:26:29 PM  

Mikey1969: Holy crap, your own private 45 acre beach for $3.6 mil? That is a great farking deal.


And pirates thrown in for free
 
2014-02-04 01:27:35 PM  

MeSoHomely: weemonkey: MeSoHomely: cwheelie: vudukungfu: Oh, what a lucky man he was.

wait, I thought the wedding was in the Bahamas, not on Greg Lake.

face palmer.

[img.fark.net image 276x183]
Robert Palmer

[31.media.tumblr.com image 500x374]
Leland Palmer.

[img.fark.net image 183x275]
Arnold Palmer?


mariamargarites.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-02-04 01:29:45 PM  
I read on Gawker or so forth, it was supposed to have a "Lone Ranger" theme.
/But the gals get old.
//I used to joke with my wife, when she turned 36, to trade her for two 18 year olds.
/// But now those gals are getting pretty old.
 
2014-02-04 01:31:26 PM  

kaseyfarksdaladies: d23: Whatthefark:

wut?

[www.scarlettjohansson.org image 500x500]


/Would still do her though.


The inverse is more the question...
 
2014-02-04 01:32:57 PM  
fashionsoundtrack.com
So they're getting married barefoot on Moss beach, yucky!
 
2014-02-04 01:33:15 PM  
That poor bastard.
 
2014-02-04 01:35:51 PM  

trappedspirit: Mikey1969: Holy crap, your own private 45 acre beach for $3.6 mil? That is a great farking deal.

And pirates thrown in for free


That's OK, he's Captain Jack Sparrow. Besides, I haven't heard of issues with pirates attacking private Islands like they are ships.
 
2014-02-04 01:36:35 PM  

Deucednuisance: Ninja Otter: porcupine tree: SonOfSpam: cwheelie: vudukungfu: Oh, what a lucky man he was.

wait, I thought the wedding was in the Bahamas, not on Greg Lake.

face palmer.

Emerson bad puns.

I knew where this was going... From the Beginning.

Still, you turn me on.

Welcome back my friends to the pun thread that never ends...

I'm just surprised it Tarkus this long!


Yeah, it's not exactly brain salad surgery...
 
2014-02-04 01:44:04 PM  

LectertheChef: mike_d85: Abe Vigoda's Ghost: d23: Whatthefark: Amber Heard is the hottest woman out of Hollywood in the last few years. Good Job J.D.

wut?

[img.fark.net image 500x500]

Heard is probably not anti-Semitic though

You do know Scarlett is Jewish, right?

Good, someone else said it.  It's still an excuse to keep posting pictures of her.

/She said something horrible and everyone forgot she's Jewish for a week.

Ok, so what did she say that was so horrible and anti-semetic? The Google was of no help in the matter. I know she's got that Soda Stream thing, but there was nothing anti-semetic there.


I think the original complaint was from someone who completely misunderstood the SodaStream situation.

To clear it up:  SodaStream is an Israeli company. They transformed a factory formerly used to make weapons into a factory designed to make soda-making devices, but certain pro-Palestinian organizations are upset because the factory is located on what was once (and remains) disputed Palestinian land. HOWEVER, the factory employs many Palestinians and they're all very happy because they get paid a LOT more than most Palestinian jobs, they get meals and transportation to work, and they get other benefits as well.

Scarlet being SodaStream's spokesperson was offensive to the Palestinian critics of SodaStream because she is Jewish, so it appears that she's just backing her own people in the longest, stupidest holy war on the planet.

Some uninformed Americans took up the cause against Scarlet because they suddenly feel bad for Palestine, despite the fact that on 9/11 people in Palestine celebrated the attacks against us, and the people of Palestine did it again during the Boston Bombings. So suddenly Americans are worried about SodaStream occupying a strip of land that once belonged to Palestine, even though Palestine has made it clear they they consider the deaths of Americans cause to celebrate?

Personally, I think the whole thing is dumb. Even if you feel bad for the Palestinian people, this selective complaining is idiotic and the people protesting SodaStream are technically the anti-Semitic ones. And if you're going to boycott Israel, then you have to boycott all of these things, too, because they are tied to disputed places in the Israel/Palestine brouhaha:

Pampers
Victoria's Secret
Volvo
Intel
Motorola
McDonald's

Among others.

Scarlett Johansson was unfortunately targeted for simply doing her job as an actress. If anything, what she did was  pro-semitic,to the point of pissing off certain pro-Palestine organizations.

And my opinion? I think the whole Israel-Palestine thing is completely stupid, and always has been. They paint it as a holy war, as a struggle of two separate cultures fighting over land they both consider sacred, but what it ultimately comes down to is who lives there, who holds the land, and who does something with it. If land being "sacred" or "holy" had ANY value in the world of real estate and conquest, then the white motherfarkers who took the land in North America should be giving it back to the Native Americans and saying they're sorry. But that doesn't happen here, so I don't see why people here should be so eager to see it happen on the other side of the world, first.

Plus, I really love my SodaStream, and Scarlet Johansson is very nice to look at, and the Palestinians working for SodaStream have better jobs than many Americans, so honestly, it's a non-issue to me.
 
2014-02-04 01:44:45 PM  

Sin_City_Superhero: d23: Whatthefark: Amber Heard is the hottest woman out of Hollywood in the last few years. Good Job J.D.

wut?





ScarJo isn't new. She's been around since the early 90's. Amber's only been around for about 10 years or so.


This is really awesome that the new mobile quoting system redisplays the image instead of just some url in brackets. Props to the fark mobile site dude who designed this, I am really enjoying the new mobile comment layout. Thumbs up to you from a superoldfark, you anonymous low-paid intern codemonkey.

Also, that is the worst photograph of Scarlett Johanssen I've ever seen. It looks like a mugshot.
 
2014-02-04 01:45:22 PM  

Nothing To See Here: Well tis is certainly better than dying in a bathroom with a spike in your arm.


Don't knock until you've tried it.
 
2014-02-04 01:46:16 PM  
Johnny insist they register at Hot Topic
 
2014-02-04 01:48:09 PM  

TheShavingofOccam123: I expect Johnny Depp to start working a lot more. To pay for the divorce.

Trying to save a woman from her lesbian tendencies is the job for more than just a penis.


Children and money seem to turn female bisexuals around don't they?
 
2014-02-04 01:50:00 PM  

Marisyana: The island is named for his daughter, which makes the whole thing actually more creepy.


The heart wants what it wants.

www.thatsawrapshow.com
 
2014-02-04 01:50:42 PM  

Diana: Named after his daughter, subby, not his ex.


Came to say this

/wino forever!
 
2014-02-04 01:53:46 PM  

mike_d85: I love his acting and he owns a pretty biatchin car.  But I get the feeling Johnny Depp is a great actor because he completely lacks social abilities.  My guess is that he likes his privacy because he's realized he's a few math lessons away from being Rain Man and doesn't want to be mocked.

You know, like how James Earl Jones carefully crafts each word because of his former speech impediment?  Like that, but with social interaction.  Therefore he 1 - follows the script, 2 - takes his cues on careful observation, 3 - doesn't inject himself into every role.  Like Dennis Leary.


Unusually for FARK, you may have a good set of points there. Of course, he's not the only well-regarded actor who was a blank slate made of Slightly Autiz. It's a bit of an occupational hazard.

flcenterlitarts.files.wordpress.com

Some actors are clearly attracted to playing roles precisely because they have somewhat vaporous personalities.
 
2014-02-04 01:54:26 PM  

AngryJailhouseFistfark: Dirtybird971: AngryJailhouseFistfark

Smartest
Funniest
2014-02-04 12:21:41 PM
ransack.: AngryJailhouseFistfark: Dirtybird971: he's 50, she's 27. and bi? this will be over faster than me sexing up a lady.

No it won't, and here's why:

Johnny Depp is about as open-minded and progressive a guy as you'll find in the Hollywood. He was pals with Hunter S. Thompson. He's tight with Keith Richards. He knows that the world is a strange and terrible place. He's aware of just how weird it can be, and he knows that people must be free to be who they are if they are to find any joy in life. As such, I predict that he will indulge her, plus, and has certainly has the means to do it. If she feels the urge for something, or someone, he will encourage and explore it with her. Because he knows that if he doesn't it will stifle her, foster resentment, and kill the relationship.

There.

You sound like you've spent a very large amount of time fantasizing about being Johnny Depp's girlfriend.

Or, you're Johnny Depp.

Maybe both.


Neither, just a deviant who's learned to stop fighting the urges and accept other deviants and their deviances. It makes life so much more fun. And easier.

while some parts of what you wrote seems true, I don't know how you could possibly know what is in her heart. You completely cut out Ms. Heard from the equation. It's entirely possible this is a marriage "made in Hollywood" like all women who marry Tom cruise.

You're absolutely correct. As a Long-Standing Member of the Patriarchy I'll admit that I did approach this question from the phallocentric cis-gendered position of one on a mission to expand and explore only the exits, not the motivations. Likewise, as someone near Depp's age I immediately associated with his point of view, albeit speculative, that, and we both have a penis. I considered it, also, from having known older, successful men who took younger, "trophy" wives in which there was affection, even shared lust between them, but as they aged, his priorities turned to the Three R's: Rest, Retirement investments,  and Regularity. Meanwhile her interests remained in exploring her sexuality, social recreations, and the like. Too often the husband in these situations will attempt to rein in the wife's interests, thus creating a situation described in The Eagle's "Lyin' Eyes".

It may very well be that she's a gold digger, looking only to capitalize on his wealth and connections in the Motion Picture Industry, and leave him broken hearted, off chasing her professional goals on her own, thus fulfilling The Prophecy.

And you invoked the Tom Cruise Beards. Perhaps this is a merkin for her? I don't know what's the female equivalent? In order to keep her a viable Romantic Female Lead in a predominantly Hetero-Sexural Motion Picture Marketplace it is necessary to have her Enjoined in Conjugal Bliss with the Johnny Depp.

I am Reconsidered, and better for it!


This post has 100% convinced me that you are, in fact, Johnny Depp.

This is now rooted in my

FAITH and is, in my mind, an absolutely irrefutable fact.

So psyched to meet Johnny Depp!
 
2014-02-04 01:57:10 PM  

Ninja Otter: porcupine tree: SonOfSpam: cwheelie: vudukungfu: Oh, what a lucky man he was.

wait, I thought the wedding was in the Bahamas, not on Greg Lake.

face palmer.

Emerson bad puns.

I knew where this was going... From the Beginning.

Still, you turn me on.

Welcome back my friends to the pun thread that never ends...


Move along, move along.
 
2014-02-04 01:57:15 PM  

zimbomba63: Nothing To See Here: Well tis is certainly better than dying in a bathroom with a spike in your arm.

Don't knock until you've tried it.


Meant to say "Don't knock it until....", but, the dope was kicking innnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
 
2014-02-04 01:57:31 PM  

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: d23: Whatthefark: Amber Heard is the hottest woman out of Hollywood in the last few years. Good Job J.D.

wut?

[www.scarlettjohansson.org image 500x500]

Heard is probably not anti-Semitic though

You do know Scarlett is Jewish, right?


Well, the top half...
l2.yimg.com
 
2014-02-04 01:57:48 PM  

AngryJailhouseFistfark: MeSoHomely: weemonkey: MeSoHomely: cwheelie: vudukungfu: Oh, what a lucky man he was.

wait, I thought the wedding was in the Bahamas, not on Greg Lake.

face palmer.

[img.fark.net image 276x183]
Robert Palmer

[31.media.tumblr.com image 500x374]
Leland Palmer.

[img.fark.net image 183x275]
Arnold Palmer?

[mariamargarites.files.wordpress.com image 850x576]


Hmmm...  How about


Chili Palmer?
img.fark.net


img.fark.net
and Dwayne Johnson with hair?
 
2014-02-04 01:59:05 PM  

ransack.: Sin_City_Superhero: d23: Whatthefark: Amber Heard is the hottest woman out of Hollywood in the last few years. Good Job J.D.

wut?





ScarJo isn't new. She's been around since the early 90's. Amber's only been around for about 10 years or so.

This is really awesome that the new mobile quoting system redisplays the image instead of just some url in brackets. Props to the fark mobile site dude who designed this, I am really enjoying the new mobile comment layout. Thumbs up to you from a superoldfark, you anonymous low-paid intern codemonkey.

Also, that is the worst photograph of Scarlett Johanssen I've ever seen. It looks like a mugshot.


It's only a bad photo in that we can't see her boobs
 
2014-02-04 02:01:23 PM  

MeSoHomely: weemonkey: MeSoHomely: cwheelie: vudukungfu: Oh, what a lucky man he was.

wait, I thought the wedding was in the Bahamas, not on Greg Lake.

face palmer.

[img.fark.net image 276x183]
Robert Palmer

[31.media.tumblr.com image 500x374]
Leland Palmer.

[img.fark.net image 183x275]
Arnold Palmer?


Quite a bit of this over Ms. Heard, I suspect.
media.screened.com

/not many people know that.
 
2014-02-04 02:02:17 PM  

ZeroCorpse: LectertheChef: mike_d85: Abe Vigoda's Ghost: d23: Whatthefark: Amber Heard is the hottest woman out of Hollywood in the last few years. Good Job J.D.

wut?

[img.fark.net image 500x500]

Heard is probably not anti-Semitic though

You do know Scarlett is Jewish, right?

Good, someone else said it.  It's still an excuse to keep posting pictures of her.

/She said something horrible and everyone forgot she's Jewish for a week.

Ok, so what did she say that was so horrible and anti-semetic? The Google was of no help in the matter. I know she's got that Soda Stream thing, but there was nothing anti-semetic there.

I think the original complaint was from someone who completely misunderstood the SodaStream situation.

To clear it up:  SodaStream is an Israeli company. They transformed a factory formerly used to make weapons into a factory designed to make soda-making devices, but certain pro-Palestinian organizations are upset because the factory is located on what was once (and remains) disputed Palestinian land. HOWEVER, the factory employs many Palestinians and they're all very happy because they get paid a LOT more than most Palestinian jobs, they get meals and transportation to work, and they get other benefits as well.

Scarlet being SodaStream's spokesperson was offensive to the Palestinian critics of SodaStream because she is Jewish, so it appears that she's just backing her own people in the longest, stupidest holy war on the planet.

Some uninformed Americans took up the cause against Scarlet because they suddenly feel bad for Palestine, despite the fact that on 9/11 people in Palestine celebrated the attacks against us, and the people of Palestine did it again during the Boston Bombings. So suddenly Americans are worried about SodaStream occupying a strip of land that once belonged to Palestine, even though Palestine has made it clear they they consider the deaths of Americans cause to celebrate?

Personally, I think the whole thing is dumb. Even if you feel bad for the Palestinian people, this selective complaining is idiotic and the people protesting SodaStream are technically the anti-Semitic ones. And if you're going to boycott Israel, then you have to boycott all of these things, too, because they are tied to disputed places in the Israel/Palestine brouhaha:

Pampers
Victoria's Secret
Volvo
Intel
Motorola
McDonald's

Among others.

Scarlett Johansson was unfortunately targeted for simply doing her job as an actress. If anything, what she did was  pro-semitic,to the point of pissing off certain pro-Palestine organizations.

And my opinion? I think the whole Israel-Palestine thing is completely stupid, and always has been. They paint it as a holy war, as a struggle of two separate cultures fighting over land they both consider sacred, but what it ultimately comes down to is who lives there, who holds the land, and who does something with it. If land being "sacred" or "holy" had ANY value in the world of real estate and conquest, then the white motherfarkers who took the land in North America should be giving it back to the Native Americans and saying they're sorry. But that doesn't happen here, so I don't see why people here should be so eager to see it happen on the other side of the world, first.

Plus, I really love my SodaStream, and Scarlet Johansson is very nice to look at, and the Palestinians working for SodaStream have better jobs than many Americans, so honestly, it's a non-issue to me.


Oh god just SHUT UP nobody gives a hell damn crap about the stupid soda machines and the Israel and your stupid verbose uninfluental opinions so just still your fingers for five minutes and make the world a calmer place
 
2014-02-04 02:02:31 PM  

AngryJailhouseFistfark: Dirtybird971: he's 50, she's 27. and bi? this will be over faster than me sexing up a lady.

No it won't, and here's why:

Johnny Depp is about as open-minded and progressive a guy as you'll find in the Hollywood. He was pals with Hunter S. Thompson. He's tight with Keith Richards. He knows that the world is a strange and terrible place. He's aware of just how weird it can be, and he knows that people must be free to be who they are if they are to find any joy in life. As such, I predict that he will indulge her, plus, and has certainly has the means to do it. If she feels the urge for something, or someone, he will encourage and explore it with her. Because he knows that if he doesn't it will stifle her, foster resentment, and kill the relationship.

There.


With Hunter and Keef as your mentors, you will definitely become aware of that.

/And I liked Hunter and still like Keef.
 
2014-02-04 02:02:41 PM  
Oldiron_79: DNRTFA but that is the perk of looking like being rich and famous like Johnny Depp.


FTFY.
 
2014-02-04 02:04:06 PM  

AngryJailhouseFistfark: ransack.: AngryJailhouseFistfark: Dirtybird971: he's 50, she's 27. and bi? this will be over faster than me sexing up a lady.

No it won't, and here's why:

Johnny Depp is about as open-minded and progressive a guy as you'll find in the Hollywood. He was pals with Hunter S. Thompson. He's tight with Keith Richards. He knows that the world is a strange and terrible place. He's aware of just how weird it can be, and he knows that people must be free to be who they are if they are to find any joy in life. As such, I predict that he will indulge her, plus, and has certainly has the means to do it. If she feels the urge for something, or someone, he will encourage and explore it with her. Because he knows that if he doesn't it will stifle her, foster resentment, and kill the relationship.

There.

You sound like you've spent a very large amount of time fantasizing about being Johnny Depp's girlfriend.

Or, you're Johnny Depp.

Maybe both.

Neither, just a deviant who's learned to stop fighting the urges and accept other deviants and their deviances. It makes life so much more fun. And easier.


Hear, hear!
 
2014-02-04 02:11:19 PM  
The Run Diary was a mediocre movie but Heard was totally hot in it.
 
2014-02-04 02:13:35 PM  

MeSoHomely: weemonkey: MeSoHomely: cwheelie: vudukungfu: Oh, what a lucky man he was.

wait, I thought the wedding was in the Bahamas, not on Greg Lake.

face palmer.

[img.fark.net image 276x183]
Robert Palmer

[31.media.tumblr.com image 500x374]
Leland Palmer.

[img.fark.net image 183x275]
Arnold Palmer?



miaulario.unavarra.es
Rosie Palmer?
 
2014-02-04 02:17:53 PM  

AngryJailhouseFistfark: Dirtybird971: he's 50, she's 27. and bi? this will be over faster than me sexing up a lady.

No it won't, and here's why:

Johnny Depp is about as open-minded and progressive a guy as you'll find in the Hollywood. He was pals with Hunter S. Thompson. He's tight with Keith Richards. He knows that the world is a strange and terrible place. He's aware of just how weird it can be, and he knows that people must be free to be who they are if they are to find any joy in life. As such, I predict that he will indulge her, plus, and has certainly has the means to do it. If she feels the urge for something, or someone, he will encourage and explore it with her. Because he knows that if he doesn't it will stifle her, foster resentment, and kill the relationship.

There.


That is such a stinking pile of dog poo poo that I can smell it through my monitor.  What kind of knucklehead are you anyway?
 
2014-02-04 02:23:00 PM  
104 posts and not a single shred of photographic evidence of this alleged bisexual beauty? Fark, I am dissapoint...
 
2014-02-04 02:27:55 PM  

dogslobber buttlube: AngryJailhouseFistfark: Dirtybird971: he's 50, she's 27. and bi? this will be over faster than me sexing up a lady.

No it won't, and here's why:

Johnny Depp is about as open-minded and progressive a guy as you'll find in the Hollywood. He was pals with Hunter S. Thompson. He's tight with Keith Richards. He knows that the world is a strange and terrible place. He's aware of just how weird it can be, and he knows that people must be free to be who they are if they are to find any joy in life. As such, I predict that he will indulge her, plus, and has certainly has the means to do it. If she feels the urge for something, or someone, he will encourage and explore it with her. Because he knows that if he doesn't it will stifle her, foster resentment, and kill the relationship.

There.

That is such a stinking pile of dog poo poo that I can smell it through my monitor.  What kind of knucklehead are you anyway?


Oh sheeeeiiit, dogslobber buttlube just straight up dissed AngryJailhouseFistfark!

upload.wikimedia.org
it's on!

 
2014-02-04 02:28:01 PM  
meh, a few years tops, and then Amber will likely leave him for another stepping stone in her career.

/it'll be a dude
//she ain't bi
///she was a lesbian until depp (because it gave her exposure)
 
2014-02-04 02:28:20 PM  
Yawn... Always thought Johnny Depp was a big poseur. He tries too hard to "seem cool". (And, the older he gets the more desperate he appears.)
 
2014-02-04 02:29:36 PM  
JH Fark, she is hot.
 
2014-02-04 02:31:43 PM  

mauxxo: Yawn... Always thought Johnny Depp was a big poseur. He tries too hard to "seem cool". (And, the older he gets the more desperate he appears.)


Care to give us some examples of who, in your mind, actually is cool? I'm curious.
 
2014-02-04 02:34:23 PM  
She's thinking...ok, I'm only 27, he's 50...his career won't last that long, so I can milk him for
his money, and when he's over the hill and not making money, I'll only be in my 40's, and can
marry some idiot kid that's making a ton of money.
 
2014-02-04 02:34:45 PM  

Mikeyworld: kaseyfarksdaladies: d23: Whatthefark:

wut?

[www.scarlettjohansson.org image 500x500]


/Would still do her though.

The inverse is more the question...


Of course.

/My Mommy says I'm a catch.
 
2014-02-04 02:37:06 PM  

socoloco: TheShavingofOccam123: I expect Johnny Depp to start working a lot more. To pay for the divorce.

Trying to save a woman from her lesbian tendencies is the job for more than just a penis.

Children and money seem to turn female bisexuals around don't they?


Bisexuality and monogamy are not exclusive concepts.
 
2014-02-04 02:49:13 PM  

lemonysprite: isexuality and monogamy are not exclusive concepts.


monogamish
 
2014-02-04 02:50:32 PM  

lemonysprite: socoloco: TheShavingofOccam123: I expect Johnny Depp to start working a lot more. To pay for the divorce.

Trying to save a woman from her lesbian tendencies is the job for more than just a penis.

Children and money seem to turn female bisexuals around don't they?

Bisexuality and monogamy are not exclusive concepts.


Eating ain't cheating.
 
2014-02-04 03:02:39 PM  

AbiNormal: Eating ain't cheating


yes.  yes, it is.
 
2014-02-04 03:09:13 PM  

frepnog: AbiNormal: Eating ain't cheating

yes.  yes, it is.


we smell like evergreens
1.bp.blogspot.com

1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-02-04 03:14:56 PM  

ransack.: dogslobber buttlube: AngryJailhouseFistfark: Dirtybird971: he's 50, she's 27. and bi? this will be over faster than me sexing up a lady.

No it won't, and here's why:

Johnny Depp is about as open-minded and progressive a guy as you'll find in the Hollywood. He was pals with Hunter S. Thompson. He's tight with Keith Richards. He knows that the world is a strange and terrible place. He's aware of just how weird it can be, and he knows that people must be free to be who they are if they are to find any joy in life. As such, I predict that he will indulge her, plus, and has certainly has the means to do it. If she feels the urge for something, or someone, he will encourage and explore it with her. Because he knows that if he doesn't it will stifle her, foster resentment, and kill the relationship.

There.

That is such a stinking pile of dog poo poo that I can smell it through my monitor.  What kind of knucklehead are you anyway?

Oh sheeeeiiit, dogslobber buttlube just straight up dissed AngryJailhouseFistfark!

[upload.wikimedia.org image 300x447]
it's on!


So what happens, a West Story-style dance/fight!  Dammit,this is so exciting!
 
2014-02-04 03:19:46 PM  

zimbomba63: ransack.: dogslobber buttlube: AngryJailhouseFistfark: Dirtybird971: he's 50, she's 27. and bi? this will be over faster than me sexing up a lady.

No it won't, and here's why:

Johnny Depp is about as open-minded and progressive a guy as you'll find in the Hollywood. He was pals with Hunter S. Thompson. He's tight with Keith Richards. He knows that the world is a strange and terrible place. He's aware of just how weird it can be, and he knows that people must be free to be who they are if they are to find any joy in life. As such, I predict that he will indulge her, plus, and has certainly has the means to do it. If she feels the urge for something, or someone, he will encourage and explore it with her. Because he knows that if he doesn't it will stifle her, foster resentment, and kill the relationship.

There.

That is such a stinking pile of dog poo poo that I can smell it through my monitor.  What kind of knucklehead are you anyway?

Oh sheeeeiiit, dogslobber buttlube just straight up dissed AngryJailhouseFistfark!

[upload.wikimedia.org image 300x447]
it's on!

So what happens, a West Story-style dance/fight!  Dammit,this is so exciting!


So excited. left out the Side in West Side Story.  Anyway, tell me when they start snapping their fingers.
 
2014-02-04 03:28:51 PM  
I'm amazed how many people here think that someone who is bi-sexual, is somehow incapable of having a long term monogamous relationship.
 
2014-02-04 03:31:33 PM  

Alfonse Gregory: 104 posts and not a single shred of photographic evidence of this alleged bisexual beauty? Fark, I am dissapoint...


static.screenweek.it

This was her girlfriend.
 
2014-02-04 03:33:37 PM  

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: This was her girlfriend.


was that in the dictionary under "gay until graduation"?
 
2014-02-04 03:41:51 PM  

ZeroCorpse: I'm with Winona Ryder on this subject: The guy traded the mother of his kids for a younger model, and he wasn't entirely diplomatic about it. While that may seem like "success" to some people, I think ditching the mother of your kids for a woman half your age shows a certain level of immaturity. In short, Depp's probably going through a mid-life crisis.

And while I'd admit it's nice to know that one of the more attractive and desired men in America is going through a midlife crisis just like anyone else his age might, it's unfortunate he did it in a situation where kids were involved.

On the other hand, if he and the child-bride are happy, then that's good. If his ex isn't entirely bitter, that's good, too. If his kids are OK with it, that's probably acceptable (though they probably shouldn't have to be put through it, anyway).

However, I hope Amber Heard realizes that she'll be 41 some day, too.


She'll be SHOCKED when he trades her in.
 
2014-02-04 03:44:46 PM  

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: Alfonse Gregory: 104 posts and not a single shred of photographic evidence of this alleged bisexual beauty? Fark, I am dissapoint...

[static.screenweek.it image 640x360]

This was her girlfriend.


If I were Depp, I'd tell Amber to invite her over, you know, for old times sake.
 
2014-02-04 03:46:18 PM  

Ker_Thwap: She'll be SHOCKED when he trades her in.


nah.  I give this shiat a couple years.

/could be wrong.
 
2014-02-04 04:14:20 PM  
She definitely gets points for being one of the craziest drivers on top gear uk's "star in a reasonably priced car"...
 
2014-02-04 04:33:33 PM  

ransack.: This is really awesome that the new mobile quoting system redisplays the image instead of just some url in brackets. Props to the fark mobile site dude who designed this, I am really enjoying the new mobile comment layout. Thumbs up to you from a superoldfark, you anonymous low-paid intern codemonkey.


Actually, I inserted the picture.  It was just the url.
 
2014-02-04 05:49:47 PM  

mike_d85: You know, like how James Earl Jones carefully crafts each word because of his former speech impediment?  Like that, but with social interaction.  Therefore he 1 - follows the script, 2 - takes his cues on careful observation, 3 - doesn't inject himself into every role.  Like Dennis Leary.


Uh... are we talking about the same guy here?  The guy that basically just plays himself in every role he's given?

// Not that there's anything wrong with that, he seems to pick roles where it works so whatever.

lemonysprite: Bisexuality and monogamy are not exclusive concepts.


Technically not, but one would imagine that after being married you'd stop identifying as 'bisexual' for the same reasons a priest might stop identifying as 'agnostic' once he'd received an appointment even if it was technically possible.  You generally stop being anal about pointing out that you have a choice once that choice has been, y'know, made.
 
2014-02-04 06:41:52 PM  

Jim_Callahan: mike_d85: You know, like how James Earl Jones carefully crafts each word because of his former speech impediment?  Like that, but with social interaction.  Therefore he 1 - follows the script, 2 - takes his cues on careful observation, 3 - doesn't inject himself into every role.  Like Dennis Leary.

Uh... are we talking about the same guy here?  The guy that basically just plays himself in every role he's given?

// Not that there's anything wrong with that, he seems to pick roles where it works so whatever.

lemonysprite: Bisexuality and monogamy are not exclusive concepts.

Technically not, but one would imagine that after being married you'd stop identifying as 'bisexual' for the same reasons a priest might stop identifying as 'agnostic' once he'd received an appointment even if it was technically possible.  You generally stop being anal about pointing out that you have a choice once that choice has been, y'know, made.


Yes you can imagine whatever stupid thing you want, congrats on understanding how imagination works. Lemme know when you understand how bisexuality works.
 
2014-02-04 06:51:25 PM  
Ralph Waldo Emerson
on a Lake called Walden Pond
Helping Arnie Palmer fish out a golf ball.
 
2014-02-04 09:17:58 PM  

Dirtybird971: he's 50, she's 27. and bi? this will be over faster than me sexing up a lady.


Not necessarily. Middle aged joint and back pain works better than thinking about baseball for holding off climax. He could probably keep going all night. Or until his celebrex wears off.
 
2014-02-04 10:14:01 PM  

whosits_112: MeSoHomely: weemonkey: MeSoHomely: cwheelie: vudukungfu: Oh, what a lucky man he was.

wait, I thought the wedding was in the Bahamas, not on Greg Lake.

face palmer.

[img.fark.net image 276x183]
Robert Palmer

[31.media.tumblr.com image 500x374]
Leland Palmer.

[img.fark.net image 183x275]
Arnold Palmer?


[miaulario.unavarra.es image 298x354]
Rosie Palmer?


25.media.tumblr.com

Laura Palmer

Looks like someone forgot ...
 
2014-02-04 10:18:17 PM  
From the pictures in the article it looks like he traded one woman for another that looks just like her maybe a few years younger?  You can definitely tell he goes for women with a certain look.
 
2014-02-04 10:43:08 PM  

Mikey1969: trappedspirit: Mikey1969: Holy crap, your own private 45 acre beach for $3.6 mil? That is a great farking deal.

And pirates thrown in for free

That's OK, he's Captain Jack Sparrow. Besides, I haven't heard of issues with pirates attacking private Islands like they are ships.


What happens in international waters, stays in international waters.  Unless the current shifts.
 
2014-02-04 11:03:59 PM  

ransack.: I don't understand, is the headline referring to the beach as a paradise and his ex-gf's last name is Paradis? Because the article says the beach is named after his daughter. Whom I'm assuming is not his ex-girlfriend.


I'm still waiting for an answer to this.
 
2014-02-05 12:31:49 AM  

morg: ransack.: I don't understand, is the headline referring to the beach as a paradise and his ex-gf's last name is Paradis? Because the article says the beach is named after his daughter. Whom I'm assuming is not his ex-girlfriend.

I'm still waiting for an answer to this.


Johnny Depp's daughter is named Lily-Rose Melody Derp.  One of Johnny Depp's ex-girlfriend was Kate Moss.  Think, a rolling stone gathers no moss, and you'll have it.
 
2014-02-05 05:15:23 AM  

trappedspirit: morg: ransack.: I don't understand, is the headline referring to the beach as a paradise and his ex-gf's last name is Paradis? Because the article says the beach is named after his daughter. Whom I'm assuming is not his ex-girlfriend.

I'm still waiting for an answer to this.

Johnny Depp's daughter is named Lily-Rose Melody Derp.  One of Johnny Depp's ex-girlfriend was Kate Moss.  Think, a rolling stone gathers no moss, and you'll have it.


So they were married on Derp Beach?   I'm getting confused.  OK, more confused than usual.  You would think TF'ers would have certain rights to use Derp Beach, too. Especially veterans of the Politics tab.  Just because!
 
2014-02-05 07:21:53 AM  

morg: ransack.: I don't understand, is the headline referring to the beach as a paradise and his ex-gf's last name is Paradis? Because the article says the beach is named after his daughter. Whom I'm assuming is not his ex-girlfriend.

I'm still waiting for an answer to this.


I don't think we're getting one.
 
2014-02-05 09:17:00 AM  

UseLessHuman: From the pictures in the article it looks like he traded one woman for another that looks just like her maybe a few years younger?  You can definitely tell he goes for women with a certain look.


lots of men have a "type".

pretty much all my girlfriends have been physically interchangeable.  my brother has yet to date a woman that was not a thin blond woman.  meh.  means nothing.
 
2014-02-05 10:00:40 AM  

frepnog: UseLessHuman: From the pictures in the article it looks like he traded one woman for another that looks just like her maybe a few years younger?  You can definitely tell he goes for women with a certain look.

lots of men have a "type".

pretty much all my girlfriends have been physically interchangeable.  my brother has yet to date a woman that was not a thin blond woman.  meh.  means nothing.


It means you've arbitrarily limited your selection of mates for no real reason. Lots of brunettes with thick bootys cook, clean, make good money and enjoy sex. Is hair color that important? Will you care when you're 68 and don't get boners anymore?
 
2014-02-05 10:28:24 AM  

ransack.: Lots of brunettes with thick bootys cook, clean, make good money and enjoy sex.


um.

that's my "type".

ransack.: Is hair color that important?


not really, but I am sexually attracted to brunettes before all others.  That means that a brunette with nice boobs and some ass will attract me long before a blonde would.
 
2014-02-05 11:00:24 AM  

Spanky McStupid: whosits_112: MeSoHomely: weemonkey: MeSoHomely: cwheelie: vudukungfu: Oh, what a lucky man he was.

wait, I thought the wedding was in the Bahamas, not on Greg Lake.

face palmer.

[img.fark.net image 276x183]
Robert Palmer

[31.media.tumblr.com image 500x374]
Leland Palmer.

[img.fark.net image 183x275]
Arnold Palmer?


[miaulario.unavarra.es image 298x354]
Rosie Palmer?

[25.media.tumblr.com image 468x720]

Laura Palmer

Looks like someone forgot ...


I'm getting out of here before Amanda Palmer shows up.
 
2014-02-05 01:02:20 PM  

Somaticasual: She definitely gets points for being one of the craziest drivers on top gear uk's "star in a reasonably priced car"...


We call that "Top Gear".  The American version is not even worth mentioning.
 
2014-02-05 01:29:50 PM  

frepnog: ransack.: Lots of brunettes with thick bootys cook, clean, make good money and enjoy sex.

um.

that's my "type".

ransack.: Is hair color that important?

not really, but I am sexually attracted to brunettes before all others.  That means that a brunette with nice boobs and some ass will attract me long before a blonde would.


Well, I've dated a dozen blondes, of whom only two were actually blondes, so preferring brunettes is a plus.

Also, blondes can be surprisingly hairy, which one can discover if you have sex outdoors in the sunshine. Natural redheads, less so, and you'd best be quick, because they go cancerous in the sunshine.
 
2014-02-05 01:35:09 PM  

Valiente: Also, blondes can be surprisingly hairy,


GOT THAT biatch A DEPILATORY.  biatchES LOVE DEPILATORIES.
 
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