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(International Business Times)   Johnny Depp to marry his bisexual fiance on a beach named after his ex-girlfriend   (ibtimes.com) divider line 145
    More: Strange, Johnny Depp, Amber Heard, Bahamas, girlfriend, battles, Celebuzz, Vanessa Paradis, bisexuals  
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19138 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Feb 2014 at 11:27 AM (22 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



145 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-02-04 11:08:25 AM
Oh, what a lucky man he was.
 
2014-02-04 11:29:02 AM
I Fark Famous Guys for the Money and Notoriety Beach?
 
2014-02-04 11:31:58 AM
Amber Heard is the hottest woman out of Hollywood in the last few years. Good Job J.D.
 
2014-02-04 11:36:08 AM
It's a bit on the nose for him to actually own a Caribbean island. I hope he at least doesn't sail there.
 
2014-02-04 11:36:13 AM
I expect Johnny Depp to start working a lot more. To pay for the divorce.

Trying to save a woman from her lesbian tendencies is the job for more than just a penis.
 
2014-02-04 11:36:27 AM
That picture!  You so seldom see Depp, where he doesn't look like a circus clown or a wino, and I don't mean when he's in character.
 
2014-02-04 11:36:48 AM
Is this not a reasonable place for a wedding????
 
2014-02-04 11:37:22 AM
Are you not entertained?
 
2014-02-04 11:38:19 AM
Named after his daughter, subby, not his ex.
 
2014-02-04 11:39:10 AM
The island is named for his daughter, which makes the whole thing actually more creepy.
 
2014-02-04 11:39:26 AM
Fiancée.  A fiancé is a dude (although, admittedly, the headline still looks like it could be correct)
 
2014-02-04 11:39:28 AM
Amber must have a thing for people who wear retro hats.
 
2014-02-04 11:39:43 AM

Whatthefark: Amber Heard is the hottest woman out of Hollywood in the last few years. Good Job J.D.


This
 
2014-02-04 11:39:45 AM

TheShavingofOccam123: Trying to save a woman from her lesbian tendencies is the job for more than just a penis.


d22zlbw5ff7yk5.cloudfront.net
 
2014-02-04 11:39:58 AM
I love his acting and he owns a pretty biatchin car.  But I get the feeling Johnny Depp is a great actor because he completely lacks social abilities.  My guess is that he likes his privacy because he's realized he's a few math lessons away from being Rain Man and doesn't want to be mocked.

You know, like how James Earl Jones carefully crafts each word because of his former speech impediment?  Like that, but with social interaction.  Therefore he 1 - follows the script, 2 - takes his cues on careful observation, 3 - doesn't inject himself into every role.  Like Dennis Leary.
 
2014-02-04 11:40:39 AM
Meanwhile, I married my wife at a golf course named after the local parks and public space commission.

Rich people are weird.
 
2014-02-04 11:40:42 AM
Wino forever?
 
2014-02-04 11:40:47 AM
he's 50, she's 27. and bi? this will be over faster than me sexing up a lady.
 
2014-02-04 11:41:24 AM
Main Page?
 
2014-02-04 11:41:53 AM
50 year old rich man marries trophy wife, got it.  Must make for great conversations around the dinner table...

Yeah, I remember that cartoon on Saturday mornings, I used to watch it with my kid!
 
2014-02-04 11:42:40 AM
DNRTFA but that is the perk of looking like Johnny Depp.
 
2014-02-04 11:42:57 AM
Well tis is certainly better than dying in a bathroom with a spike in your arm.
 
2014-02-04 11:45:04 AM
I don't understand, is the headline referring to the beach as a paradise and his ex-gf's last name is Paradis? Because the article says the beach is named after his daughter. Whom I'm assuming is not his ex-girlfriend.
 
2014-02-04 11:46:01 AM
Nice upgrade.
 
2014-02-04 11:47:23 AM

ransack.: I don't understand, is the headline referring to the beach as a paradise and his ex-gf's last name is Paradis? Because the article says the beach is named after his daughter. Whom I'm assuming is not his ex-girlfriend.


Is this ANOTHER Woody Allen thread?
 
d23 [TotalFark]
2014-02-04 11:48:04 AM

Whatthefark: Amber Heard is the hottest woman out of Hollywood in the last few years. Good Job J.D.


wut?

www.scarlettjohansson.org

Heard is probably not anti-Semitic though
 
2014-02-04 11:48:10 AM

vudukungfu: Oh, what a lucky man he was.


wait, I thought the wedding was in the Bahamas, not on Greg Lake.

face palmer.
 
d23 [TotalFark]
2014-02-04 11:48:48 AM

TheShavingofOccam123: ransack.: I don't understand, is the headline referring to the beach as a paradise and his ex-gf's last name is Paradis? Because the article says the beach is named after his daughter. Whom I'm assuming is not his ex-girlfriend.

Is this ANOTHER Woody Allen thread?


everything is a Woody Allen thread.
 
2014-02-04 11:49:39 AM
He paid $3.4 million for that island, that's enough to do 6.8 chicks at the same time.
 
2014-02-04 11:50:30 AM
She may be lesbian, and half his age, but come on - he's private island rich and world famous.

So, sure, she can fake it long enough for her lawyers to accurately assess his assets....
 
2014-02-04 11:55:17 AM

GavinTheAlmighty: Meanwhile, I married my wife at a golf course named after the local parks and public space commission.

Rich people are weird.


Best named place ever: Executive Committee Range

/Mountains mind you, not golf.
 
2014-02-04 11:55:18 AM
Just what every husband must want: A wife who says "not tonight, honey, I'm in the mood for something different".

Does he get to watch? Ooooh sounds fun!
 
2014-02-04 11:58:29 AM

GavinTheAlmighty: Meanwhile, I married my wife at a golf course named after the local parks and public space commission.

Rich people are weird.


I married my wife at the county courthouse, named for the county.
 
2014-02-04 11:58:55 AM

Dirtybird971: he's 50, she's 27. and bi? this will be over faster than me sexing up a lady.


No it won't, and here's why:

Johnny Depp is about as open-minded and progressive a guy as you'll find in the Hollywood. He was pals with Hunter S. Thompson. He's tight with Keith Richards. He knows that the world is a strange and terrible place. He's aware of just how weird it can be, and he knows that people must be free to be who they are if they are to find any joy in life. As such, I predict that he will indulge her, plus, and has certainly has the means to do it. If she feels the urge for something, or someone, he will encourage and explore it with her. Because he knows that if he doesn't it will stifle her, foster resentment, and kill the relationship.

There.
 
2014-02-04 11:59:33 AM
I'd have sex with Amber Heard, if you know what I mean...
 
2014-02-04 12:00:48 PM

stirfrybry: Just what every husband must want: A wife who says "not tonight, honey, I'm in the mood for something different".

Does he get to watch? Ooooh sounds fun!


images2.wikia.nocookie.net

Wait till the baby is born for all the real fun to start.
 
2014-02-04 12:06:49 PM

d23: Whatthefark: Amber Heard is the hottest woman out of Hollywood in the last few years. Good Job J.D.

wut?

img.fark.net



ScarJo isn't new. She's been around since the early 90's. Amber's only been around for about 10 years or so.
 
2014-02-04 12:07:02 PM

AngryJailhouseFistfark: Dirtybird971: he's 50, she's 27. and bi? this will be over faster than me sexing up a lady.

No it won't, and here's why:

Johnny Depp is about as open-minded and progressive a guy as you'll find in the Hollywood. He was pals with Hunter S. Thompson. He's tight with Keith Richards. He knows that the world is a strange and terrible place. He's aware of just how weird it can be, and he knows that people must be free to be who they are if they are to find any joy in life. As such, I predict that he will indulge her, plus, and has certainly has the means to do it. If she feels the urge for something, or someone, he will encourage and explore it with her. Because he knows that if he doesn't it will stifle her, foster resentment, and kill the relationship.

There.


You sound like you've spent a very large amount of time fantasizing about being Johnny Depp's girlfriend.

Or, you're Johnny Depp.

Maybe both.
 
2014-02-04 12:09:10 PM

TheShavingofOccam123: I expect Johnny Depp to start working a lot more. To pay for the divorce.

Trying to save a woman from her lesbian tendencies is the job for more than just a penis.


www.rainbowshootingrange.com
 
2014-02-04 12:12:07 PM
Uh, is there not some angle here, it's just a story about Depp getting married?  Cause that's like the 'Not News:' part.  Unless you are the type to DVR entertainment tonight and use the phrase 'holywood celebs'
 
2014-02-04 12:12:39 PM

cwheelie: vudukungfu: Oh, what a lucky man he was.

wait, I thought the wedding was in the Bahamas, not on Greg Lake.

face palmer.


Emerson bad puns.
 
2014-02-04 12:14:18 PM

Private_Citizen: She may be lesbian, and half his age, but come on - he's private island rich and world famous.

So, sure, she can fake it long enough for her lawyers to accurately assess his assets....


Like her age compared to him, she is only half lesbian
 
2014-02-04 12:16:44 PM
Oh, I don't think he'll have any trouble keeping his bisexual lover amused. Haven't you guys seen all the cute little outfits Tim Burton's been tarting him up in over the years? Whatever she's in the mood for, he's got the wardrobe pressed and ready.

/NTTAWWT
//except maybe that Mad Hatter nonsense. Damn, that film was a tough slog to get through.
 
2014-02-04 12:18:21 PM

SonOfSpam: cwheelie: vudukungfu: Oh, what a lucky man he was.

wait, I thought the wedding was in the Bahamas, not on Greg Lake.

face palmer.

Emerson bad puns.



ELP trifecta complete.
 
2014-02-04 12:18:51 PM

d23: Whatthefark: Amber Heard is the hottest woman out of Hollywood in the last few years. Good Job J.D.

wut?

[www.scarlettjohansson.org image 500x500]

Heard is probably not anti-Semitic though


You do know Scarlett is Jewish, right?
 
2014-02-04 12:21:41 PM

ransack.: AngryJailhouseFistfark: Dirtybird971: he's 50, she's 27. and bi? this will be over faster than me sexing up a lady.

No it won't, and here's why:

Johnny Depp is about as open-minded and progressive a guy as you'll find in the Hollywood. He was pals with Hunter S. Thompson. He's tight with Keith Richards. He knows that the world is a strange and terrible place. He's aware of just how weird it can be, and he knows that people must be free to be who they are if they are to find any joy in life. As such, I predict that he will indulge her, plus, and has certainly has the means to do it. If she feels the urge for something, or someone, he will encourage and explore it with her. Because he knows that if he doesn't it will stifle her, foster resentment, and kill the relationship.

There.

You sound like you've spent a very large amount of time fantasizing about being Johnny Depp's girlfriend.

Or, you're Johnny Depp.

Maybe both.


Neither, just a deviant who's learned to stop fighting the urges and accept other deviants and their deviances. It makes life so much more fun. And easier.
 
2014-02-04 12:22:21 PM

cwheelie: vudukungfu: Oh, what a lucky man he was.

wait, I thought the wedding was in the Bahamas, not on Greg Lake.

face palmer.


img.fark.net
Robert Palmer
 
2014-02-04 12:23:16 PM
Wow, she's quite the hottie. I'm sure its love, not that the guy has his own island, and is millionaire x10.

/amirite? Love...lasts as long as the cash doesn't run out.
 
2014-02-04 12:25:09 PM

Dirtybird971: he's 50, she's 27. and bi? this will be over faster than me sexing up a lady.


Nah, it could work out great:  "Any time you get bored honey, feel free to invite some girlfriends over."
 
2014-02-04 12:27:10 PM

AngryJailhouseFistfark

Smartest
Funniest
2014-02-04 12:21:41 PM
ransack.: AngryJailhouseFistfark: Dirtybird971: he's 50, she's 27. and bi? this will be over faster than me sexing up a lady.

No it won't, and here's why:

Johnny Depp is about as open-minded and progressive a guy as you'll find in the Hollywood. He was pals with Hunter S. Thompson. He's tight with Keith Richards. He knows that the world is a strange and terrible place. He's aware of just how weird it can be, and he knows that people must be free to be who they are if they are to find any joy in life. As such, I predict that he will indulge her, plus, and has certainly has the means to do it. If she feels the urge for something, or someone, he will encourage and explore it with her. Because he knows that if he doesn't it will stifle her, foster resentment, and kill the relationship.

There.

You sound like you've spent a very large amount of time fantasizing about being Johnny Depp's girlfriend.

Or, you're Johnny Depp.

Maybe both.


Neither, just a deviant who's learned to stop fighting the urges and accept other deviants and their deviances. It makes life so much more fun. And easier.


while some parts of what you wrote seems true, I don't know how you could possibly know what is in her heart. You completely cut out Ms. Heard from the equation. It's entirely possible this is a marriage "made in Hollywood" like all women who marry Tom cruise.
 
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