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(New Scientist)   The plot thickens: Neanderthals, Denisovans, Hobbits, unknown African homonids, and now the Koisan people have some Neanderthal gene traces from having left Africa 65,000 years ago and returned only 3,000 years ago   (newscientist.com ) divider line
    More: Cool, Neanderthals, African, DNA, Sanger Institute, DNA matching, Eurasian  
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5858 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Feb 2014 at 11:12 AM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2014-02-04 12:07:30 PM  
3 votes:

brantgoose: I for one, am proud of my Neanderthal heritage. It's the European way. Flatten everything and name the streets after whatever used to be there. Elm street, Oak Forest Drive, Navaho Boulevard, Neanderthal Lane.

xfinity.comcast.net

2014-02-04 11:25:35 AM  
3 votes:
So basically any species of the genus Homo will fark anything it can?
2014-02-04 11:14:06 AM  
3 votes:
OK, people! That's a wrap. Everybody back to Africa. Start over again and this time, let's try not to cause any mass extinctions.
2014-02-04 11:13:28 AM  
3 votes:
THANKS OBAMA!!!
2014-02-04 11:38:41 AM  
2 votes:

Running a-puck: "Dating methods suggested they made their way into the Khoisan DNA sometime between 900 and 1800 years ago - well before known European contact with southern Africa"

The Romans participated in trade routes all up and down the eastern coast of Africa and there are records of them rounding the horn, mentioning that the interior was unexplored but that the ocean curves westward and mingles with the Atlantic.  I'm pretty sure that could be a possible source of the dna from "southern Europeans, including Sardinians, Italians and people from the Basque region"


They called it rounding the horn, did they? Please, tell us more, Biggus Dickus.
2014-02-04 11:38:20 AM  
2 votes:

zimbomba63: Do they owe a lot of money and don't like paying taxes?  It's the Greeks.


Or else Republicans. I fear Republicans even when bearing tax cuts.
2014-02-04 11:20:10 AM  
2 votes:

onzmadi: Man early humanity really got around



Sweat baby sweat baby sex is a Texas drought
Me and you do the kind of stuff that only Prince would sing about
So put your hands down my pants and I'll bet you'll feel nuts
Yes I'm Siskel, yes I'm Ebert and you're getting two thumbs up
You've had enough of two-hand touch you want it rough you're out of bounds
I want you smothered want you covered like my Waffle House hashbrowns
Come quicker than FedEx never reach an apex just like Coca-Cola stock you are inclined
To make me rise an hour early just like Daylight Savings Time
Do it now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Do it again now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Gettin' horny now
Love the kind you clean up with a mop and bucket
Like the lost catacombs of Egypt only God knows where we stuck it
Hieroglyphics? Let me be Pacific I wanna be down in your South Seas
But I got this notion that the motion of your ocean means "Small Craft Advisory"
So if I capsize on your thighs high tide, B-5 you sunk my battleship
Please turn me on I'm Mister Coffee with an automatic drip
So show me yours I'll show you mine "Tool Time" you'll Lovett just like Lyle
And then we'll do it doggy style so we can both watch "X-Files"
Do it now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Do it again now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Gettin' horny now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Do it again now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Do it now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Do it again now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Gettin' horny now
2014-02-04 11:19:32 AM  
2 votes:
Maybe we forgot our car keys?
2014-02-04 07:05:52 PM  
1 vote:

serialsuicidebomber: GungFu: cgraves67: Running a-puck: "Dating methods suggested they made their way into the Khoisan DNA sometime between 900 and 1800 years ago - well before known European contact with southern Africa"

The Romans participated in trade routes all up and down the eastern coast of Africa and there are records of them rounding the horn, mentioning that the interior was unexplored but that the ocean curves westward and mingles with the Atlantic.  I'm pretty sure that could be a possible source of the dna from "southern Europeans, including Sardinians, Italians and people from the Basque region"

Not to mention Carthaginians roving the West coast of Africa. Who really knows how far they got?

The west coast of Africa is pretty well known as a place of trade and exploration - even the Chinese went there.

But the Western part or the interior part of Africa seems unlikely. The Romans did the marginal sub-saharan bit but not beyond that. So the article's theory seems more plausible to me.

What would claim it for the outsider love=making would be tribal traditions of stories about fair-skinned people showing up. And to the best of my knowledge, there's none of that in the region the article mentions. The closest is in Zimbabwe, where they have these non-traditional looking structures:

[www.victoriafalls-guide.net image 650x433]

But even then, they have a multitude of ideas involving outsiders for that place. One theory I read was that it was built by the Lost Tribe of Israel.


Is there *anything* that lost tribe won't do???


Tip
2014-02-04 06:55:00 PM  
1 vote:

serialsuicidebomber: GungFu: cgraves67: Running a-puck: "Dating methods suggested they made their way into the Khoisan DNA sometime between 900 and 1800 years ago - well before known European contact with southern Africa"

The Romans participated in trade routes all up and down the eastern coast of Africa and there are records of them rounding the horn, mentioning that the interior was unexplored but that the ocean curves westward and mingles with the Atlantic.  I'm pretty sure that could be a possible source of the dna from "southern Europeans, including Sardinians, Italians and people from the Basque region"

Not to mention Carthaginians roving the West coast of Africa. Who really knows how far they got?

The west coast of Africa is pretty well known as a place of trade and exploration - even the Chinese went there.

But the Western part or the interior part of Africa seems unlikely. The Romans did the marginal sub-saharan bit but not beyond that. So the article's theory seems more plausible to me.

What would claim it for the outsider love=making would be tribal traditions of stories about fair-skinned people showing up. And to the best of my knowledge, there's none of that in the region the article mentions. The closest is in Zimbabwe, where they have these non-traditional looking structures:

[www.victoriafalls-guide.net image 650x433]

But even then, they have a multitude of ideas involving outsiders for that place. One theory I read was that it was built by the Lost Tribe of Israel.


Is there *anything* that lost tribe won't do???


Your mom
2014-02-04 02:34:11 PM  
1 vote:

ZeroCorpse: How can anyone look at this man and tell me he doesn't have a LOT of neanderthal genes in his family line?

[4.bp.blogspot.com image 456x352]

You want the missing link? He's married to Stephanie McMahon.


Really? That guy could be the poster child for Homo Sapiens compared to this thing...

1.bp.blogspot.com

I hope he doesn't read Fark...
2014-02-04 01:50:32 PM  
1 vote:
How can anyone look at this man and tell me he doesn't have a LOT of neanderthal genes in his family line?

4.bp.blogspot.com

You want the missing link? He's married to Stephanie McMahon.
2014-02-04 12:57:39 PM  
1 vote:
Shona is clearly derived from Sharon.

Excuse me while I roll around on the floor for a while.

But seriously, we Merovingians are the true Chosen People because we are direct descendants of Jesus and Mary Magdalene and thus the non-figurative Children of God. Read your Dan Brown, people!
2014-02-04 12:56:38 PM  
1 vote:

brantgoose: The Unlisted Tribes of Israel may have wandered off during the 40 years in the Desert. They refused to ask for directions regardless of how much their wives kevetched.


I believe we have now identified Woody Allen's handle.
2014-02-04 12:50:57 PM  
1 vote:
The Unlisted Tribes of Israel may have wandered off during the 40 years in the Desert. They refused to ask for directions regardless of how much their wives kevetched.
2014-02-04 12:49:56 PM  
1 vote:

AliceBToklasLives: "Lost" not "list"

/stubby fingers don't type well on a phone


Hurrah! I've discovered the Unlisted Tribes of Israel. They got tired of being asked to donate to every charity going, so they got unlisted numbers and disappeared into WASPdom. They're not crypto-Jews--they haven't been persecuted unless you count telemarketeers. They're not really Lost Tribes but they are the hardest tribes to find because they live in gated communities and streets name Private.

80% of the Unlisted Tribes of Israel are tall and blond and thin and speak with clipped Harvard accents. Roughly the same percentage of them are former Sephardic Jews who came over just after the Mayflower Pilgrims.

As I said, they are not Lost. They are merely Mislaid.
2014-02-04 12:38:08 PM  
1 vote:

Oldiron_79: This just in Humans will fark pretty much anything living, humanoid, and the approriate gender for ones style.


Having been to the skeevy end of the internet, all of those seem optional.
2014-02-04 12:28:06 PM  
1 vote:

AliceBToklasLives: Slaxl: Koisan, sounds an awful lot like "chosen", and since we know God is an Englishman and thus everything would have been written in English in those days, and 3,000 years ago is around the time of the Exodus it seems clear to me that these are some kind of Lost Tribe of Israel.

I win again, history.

I'm always amazed at how many places the list tribe of Israel travelled to.


That's because they were lost, but bless their hearts they kept trying, didn't they? They never gave up trying, just hoping that maybe the next leap would be the leap home!
2014-02-04 11:57:19 AM  
1 vote:
I for one, am proud of my Neanderthal heritage. It's the European way. Flatten everything and name the streets after whatever used to be there. Elm street, Oak Forest Drive, Navaho Boulevard, Neanderthal Lane.

From Neanderthals we got some good things, such as widened immunity, pale European and Asian skin to allow us to make vitamin D and Lord it over humanity, and probably larger heads, possibly larger brains.

We also got some bad things, like lupus (the kind Doctor House got), type 2 diabetes, Crohn's disease (which is a really nasty and unpleasant bowel disease, and a tendency to addiction to tobacco, although the Neanderthal never encountered that particular plant.)

One thing we did not get at all seems to be mitochondria, which are inherited from our Mothers. If the Neanderthals took our women, their genes died with the Neanderthals, leaving no trace. Perhaps, ahem, Neanderthal life was just too nasty, brutish and short for the ladies. Or maybe they had enormous schwannstickers. Most likely Neanderthal women, living the same tough hunting life as the men did, were a bit fugglier than Russian shot-putters of either sex. That is certainly the impression you get from reconstructions. That Neanderthal woman is rougher than an Irish washerwoman who keeps a boarding house for pirates.

Personally I always expected that hairiness and a robust stocky physique might also be inherited from the Neanderthal. I suspect that their genes would turn up in the refuges or the edges of European geography--the Irish, for example, are extremely pale, have a tendency to red hair and have big heads as Conan O'Brien never fails to point out. There are also traces of Neanderthal type traits in Spain (which is closely connected to Ireland) and Eastern Europe where the high lands and forests would presumably have been a refuge from modern human invasions.

But one of the legacies of the Neanderthal may be higher IQs among the Jews and Japanese or Chinese. They may or may not have been great talkers, but the Neanderthals had bigger brains than modern humans and it could be that some of the genius for mathematics is from them--they didn't need a lot of mathematics except for hunting but that could be why they developed big brains--it isn't easy living the way they did and they were probably largely nomadic. They don't seem to have learned to fish (neither did the Cro Magnon despite rivers full of salmon and pike and so forth). But they may have had great aim when throwing spears. You don't throw a spear at a mammoth unless you are pretty sure you're going to hit it and hit it hard.
2014-02-04 11:57:17 AM  
1 vote:

Slaxl: Koisan, sounds an awful lot like "chosen", and since we know God is an Englishman and thus everything would have been written in English in those days, and 3,000 years ago is around the time of the Exodus it seems clear to me that these are some kind of Lost Tribe of Israel.

I win again, history.


I'm always amazed at how many places the list tribe of Israel travelled to. Anywhere we can't believe the dumb natives could have done that - lost tribe of Israel.

GPS mofos
2014-02-04 11:53:51 AM  
1 vote:
Maybe they missed the rains?
2014-02-04 11:52:48 AM  
1 vote:
Homo says what?
2014-02-04 11:35:30 AM  
1 vote:

Valiente: The gods must be crazy.

/obs.?


CLICK!
/Translation: NO!
2014-02-04 11:33:33 AM  
1 vote:

whither_apophis: So basically any species of the genus Homo will fark anything it can?


If you've been reading Fark as long as I have, you know the answer to that.

As the Little Dutch Boy said, "I've already run out of fingers and toes. One more leak and we're all farked!"
2014-02-04 11:32:57 AM  
1 vote:
Do they owe a lot of money and don't like paying taxes?  It's the Greeks.
2014-02-04 11:30:42 AM  
1 vote:
Tonight a dude who built a museum to teach children and adults that Jesus rode a biblesaur to the Last Supper is going to disprove ALL that libby sciency shiat.

Ham on Nye @ 7:00pm
2014-02-04 11:30:11 AM  
1 vote:

ChipNASA: cgraves67: Claims that they are a lost tribe of Israel begin in 3... 2... 1...

Red Sea pedestrians?


No, it was the Toltecs or the Mayans, or some say we came from a lost rag tag band of intersteller refugees....
2014-02-04 11:26:50 AM  
1 vote:

cgraves67: Claims that they are a lost tribe of Israel begin in 3... 2... 1...


Red Sea pedestrians?
2014-02-04 11:23:40 AM  
1 vote:
People are still having sex
2014-02-04 11:23:21 AM  
1 vote:
The gods must be crazy.

/obs.?
2014-02-04 11:22:27 AM  
1 vote:
Claims that they are a lost tribe of Israel begin in 3... 2... 1...
2014-02-04 11:18:23 AM  
1 vote:
Man early humanity really got around
 
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