If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Daily Mail)   Is "If I could rewrite the alphabet I would put 'u' and 'i' together" the worst pick-up line of all -time? Not even close   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 102
    More: Fail, pick up lines, single people, bedroom floor  
•       •       •

4851 clicks; posted to Geek » on 04 Feb 2014 at 9:51 AM (46 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



102 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all
 
2014-02-04 08:24:45 AM  
Can I interest you in death?
 
2014-02-04 08:39:26 AM  
Articles categorizing the "worst pick-up lines" are always stupid, because there is no such thing as the "worst pick-up line." It's always possible to invent something even worse once you see the current batch. Besides, any guy with decent skillz knows that that pick-up lines are purely about humor. It's about the delivery, about breaking the ice, about creating a bit of self-deprecatory humor that gets her to think that you're confident enough in yourself to not be totally serious all the time, which in turn makes applying the chloroform a lot easier.
 
2014-02-04 08:39:45 AM  
24.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-02-04 08:40:14 AM  
My pick-up line?  "Hi, I'm xanadian."

/what the hell is wrong with people!??
 
2014-02-04 08:46:30 AM  
"You spilled beer on my comforter.  You *OWE* me".

/Actually worked.
 
2014-02-04 09:20:08 AM  
Did you grow up on a farm? Because you sure know how to raise a cock.
 
2014-02-04 09:21:51 AM  
You're skin would make a nice pelt in my collection.
 
2014-02-04 09:28:35 AM  
Gas, grass, or ass.
 
2014-02-04 09:31:29 AM  
Do you douche with Windex? 'Cause I can see myself in your coont.
 
2014-02-04 09:56:19 AM  
"Are you a beaver....  Cause DAAAAAAAAAAMN."

-Saw this work for a Co-worker this weekend.
 
2014-02-04 09:58:44 AM  
imgs.xkcd.com
 
2014-02-04 10:00:02 AM  

xanadian: My pick-up line?  "Hi, I'm xanadian."

/what the hell is wrong with people!??


I dunno, with that sort of pick up line wouldn't you get mostly misanthropes and whiners? Maybe you should leave off the "what the hell is wrong with people" part.
 
2014-02-04 10:00:41 AM  
If I told you "you have a beautiful body" would you hold it against me?
 
2014-02-04 10:01:18 AM  
Worst I've ever heard, from one of my best friends:  "I may not look like much, but I'm the only one talking to you".

And it worked, because he followed it up well.
 
2014-02-04 10:02:50 AM  
Classic lines don't worry because everyone knows them. That's why I've moved away from the over used 'does this smell like chloroform to you?' and branched out with a few others I like to mix up sporadically:

'Was that a roofie I just dropped in your drink, or are you unconscious to see me?!'
'This needle would go great in your arm.'
'Get kidnapped here often?'
'Is your father a thief, because I'm holding him hostage until you have sex with me'
Are you from Tennessee, because I'm your long lost brother so this is okay.'
'Do you moisturize? I find soft skin stitches together better.'
 
2014-02-04 10:05:12 AM  

Pocket Ninja: Articles categorizing the "worst pick-up lines" are always stupid, because there is no such thing as the "worst pick-up line." It's always possible to invent something even worse once you see the current batch. Besides, any guy with decent skillz knows that that pick-up lines are purely about humor. It's about the delivery, about breaking the ice, about creating a bit of self-deprecatory humor that gets her to think that you're confident enough in yourself to not be totally serious all the time, which in turn makes applying the chloroform a lot easier.


...which makes using the old classic, "Does this smell like chloroform to you?", a bit more ironic, I think.
 
2014-02-04 10:06:37 AM  
Going with "I'm just here to drink, not buy you & your friends shots" works far better than it should, oddly enough.
 
2014-02-04 10:09:17 AM  
I think the best might be from right here on Fark:  "Your titties!  Do they need sucking?!"

/ I always thought a "pick-up line" was what I used to reel in the ladies once the fishhook lodged in their throat
 
2014-02-04 10:10:36 AM  
Are you from heaven?  Cuz I've got an erection!
 
2014-02-04 10:12:33 AM  
Are you trained in flame-polishing? Because you sure know how to harden wood.
 
2014-02-04 10:19:10 AM  
Listen, I was wondering. Can I ask you a question? Uh... was your father a meat burglar? Here's why I ask: because it looks like somebody stole 2 fine hams and shoved them down the back of your dress
 
2014-02-04 10:22:30 AM  
My favorite was looking at the tag in the back of her blouse and saying " Just as I thought, made in heaven" works most of the time.
 
2014-02-04 10:23:32 AM  
i1168.photobucket.com

"Hello, I'm independently wealthy." - Les Nessman, WKRP in Cincinnati
 
2014-02-04 10:23:55 AM  
Is your father a thief? You look just like the guy who mugged me last night. Wait,  are you the guy who mugged me last night? GET AWAY FROM ME. I'M CALLING THE COPS!
 
2014-02-04 10:26:20 AM  
My favorite: "Are you wearing space pants? Because your ass is out of this world."

//space pants!
 
2014-02-04 10:29:44 AM  
"This is a super advanced watch and it is telling me that you are not wearing any panties".

"Oh you are? It must be 15 minutes fast".
 
2014-02-04 10:30:41 AM  

Arkanaut: My favorite: "Are you wearing space pants? Because your ass is out of this world."

//space pants!


No, they're softball pants, because they're out of your league.
 
2014-02-04 10:32:37 AM  
I grunt and point at my crotch (think Dax in Idiocracy).

Swimming in it.
 
2014-02-04 10:33:45 AM  
So Meg, you 18?
 
2014-02-04 10:37:32 AM  
There is the old ever popular "Ya wanna fark?" Surprising how many times this works.
 
2014-02-04 10:37:51 AM  
Last weekend a guy tried to pick me up while I was out running. His slick method was to tell me I was going to ruin my knees and to offer an unrequested demonstration of rhythmic breathing. I agreed to meet him for coffee just so he'd leave me alone.

Yes, I met him. I don't stand people up, ever. No, nothing happened or will ever happen between us.
 
2014-02-04 10:38:55 AM  
"Nice shoes, wanna' fark?"
 
2014-02-04 10:39:31 AM  
Wanna breed?
 
2014-02-04 10:42:02 AM  
while 44 per cent said that they'd be happy if the guy offered to buy them a drink.

Makes sense, if I had to listen to inane comments I'd like to get a drink out of it as well.

/Fark doesn't count
//My employer pays for my time here
 
2014-02-04 10:44:14 AM  
Hi, my Fark handle is______.
 
2014-02-04 10:51:29 AM  
Never used a pick-up line, though I did have to come up with a dust-off line once. A strange woman had followed me back to my apartment from a party. I tried this, "My room mate is going to be coming back soon. You're going to have to leave."

Funny/Not funny?
 
2014-02-04 11:09:33 AM  

mayIFark: Arkanaut: My favorite: "Are you wearing space pants? Because your ass is out of this world."

//space pants!

No, they're softball pants, because they're out of your league.


What? I played intramural softball.
 
2014-02-04 11:14:15 AM  
 
2014-02-04 11:18:03 AM  
If your usual dating technique is to sidle up to the nearest girl and whisper: 'I like your dress but it would look better on my bedroom floor,' then it might be time for a rethink.

Well, yeah, if you're going to butcher it like that. It obviously goes "That dress looks good on you, but it'd look better on my bedroom floor." Their version is just stupid.
 
2014-02-04 11:21:40 AM  
"Do you want to feel something swell?"
 
2014-02-04 11:37:09 AM  
Do you work for UPS?
I noticed you were checking out my package.
 
2014-02-04 11:37:44 AM  
Only five per cent of women said they'd like it if a man tried a corny line

1 out of 20?  That's actually pretty good odds.
 
2014-02-04 12:22:13 PM  
Lines? Don't use lines. Use a fake accent and have them overhear you. Then it doesn't matter what the hell you say because it will sound interesting. I used this twice. Once accidentally and once on purpose. Of course it only worked when I did it accidentally...
 
2014-02-04 12:23:17 PM  
"You know Freud was all wrong about penis-envy.  That fact is obvious as I really want your pussy."

/feels drink in face
//then knee in crotch
 
2014-02-04 12:40:01 PM  
hey baby want to see the Riviera*? come on it's parked out back.

*get off my lawn
 
2014-02-04 12:40:03 PM  
Pardon me, miss, but does this rag smell like chloroform to you?
 
2014-02-04 12:41:50 PM  
Try these

Link
 
2014-02-04 12:42:11 PM  

Nogale: Last weekend a guy tried to pick me up while I was out running. His slick method was to tell me I was going to ruin my knees and to offer an unrequested demonstration of rhythmic breathing. I agreed to meet him for coffee just so he'd leave me alone.

Yes, I met him. I don't stand people up, ever. No, nothing happened or will ever happen between us.


Wow... I really thought we had something.  This is how you tell me?
 
2014-02-04 01:01:52 PM  
Chico Marx (to Tallulah Bankhead) - "I'd *really* love to fark you"
Tallulah Bankhead - "And so you shall, my fine young man"

/request and reply...neither can be topped
 
2014-02-04 01:05:08 PM  
How about you and me go halves on a bastard.

/Because it's not just about sex, it's about bringing a fatherless child into the world.
 
Displayed 50 of 102 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report